#reaction to things now is Lord almighty... like girl you do not even know him.

[nomaishuttle]

ALSO sry im so talkative today idk whats gotten IN to me but anyways. its sooo crazy 2 me that ppl have other birthdays that arent the sake day as my birthday like obviously i know ppl do but its crazy to me. bc january 13th is like My birthday ykwim. like its such a good day to have a birthday on so beautiful 1/13/2005 gods specialest girl was born ykwim.

[n3rdy247]

HELLOO!!

can i just get a john dory x female reader! headcanons!

john dory met while crashing the wedding and immediately started to flirt with dispite just meeting her. 🫣

THANK YOU!!

HIYAAA!! CAN YOU??? 🤔🤔🤔

girl be so fr OF COURSE YOU CAN!!!

ALL ABOAAAARD THE JOHN DORY X FEM!READER HCS!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO

Okay, so, you know the whole 'watching a cute, romantic ass wedding' plans everyone had for today? Just...watching two bergens have a nice, uninterrupted marriage?

"STOP THE WEDDING!!!"

well fuck those plans. ★ Starting off the bat, when he was literally parkouring his way down that building which just happened to be the MOMENT he noticed you from the crowd, he couldn't help but throw a wink your way right after (even though he had his goggles on, that stupid mf) which led to him face-planting to the floor because his ass was NOT paying attention to stick the landing. YIKES. ★ He also DOES notice when you are at the edge of your seat to hear what the hell is going on. Apparently, he was Branch's brother (figures since both are fine ash, MUST be in the genetics), he was in a band, and his other hot brother was in danger?

remember the wedding? yeah me neither atp

★ He can't help but steal occasional glances at you when the others talk, and when he does, his smile almost seems to widen, even if it's just for a split second. He just saw you, yet look at you go! Making him all giddy and shit inside 🤭 ★ And whenever Poppy and Branch turn their backs to discuss the whole situation, you just KNOW he would be smirking at you with a smug-ass grin, trying to strike up a conversation. Keyword? TRYING.

"Soo...come here often?" lord almighty sir THIS IS A WEDDING.

"Damn, I could really go out for some fresh air right now, because I think you took my breath away." SIR WE ARE OUTSIDE WHAT

Needless to say, this man does NOT know how to strike up a convo.

★ If you do end up getting flustered about his horrendous pick-up lines somehow, he will be so fucking proud of himself for getting a reaction out of you, and WILL keep going at it. What a charmer. (Unless you are uncomfortable with that of course, he might not know how to talk to people, but he has human (troll???) decency.) ★ I'm talking him leaning slightly closer to you with half-lidded eyes, a huge smirk plastered on his face as his voice gets lower and lower, though internally I feel like he'd be going 'LET'S FUCKING GOOOO I STILL GOT IT' since he would be a bit unsure if he was doing well in the first place. It's probably been years since he had any sort of interaction with anyone other than Rhonda so it's understandable. ★ Not to mention BROZONE. MY GOD. If you know about his band? NICE! If you don't know anything about it? NICE! Either way, this man will absolutely brag about it to you. Even if it has been AT LEAST 20 YEARS. He will absolutely talk about 'the good old days' as if it was just yesterday. Bro would probably talk about how he wrote the hits "Girl Baby Baby" and "Baby Baby Girl" on the same day. ★And who knows? Maybe at the end of the wedding when sadly he has to go to save his brother with Branch and Poppy, you'll end up getting a way to contact him after the whole thing ends. You will see him sooner than you think, that's for sure though!

(please keep in mind this is the first time I've written any serious headcanons like these and not just stuff like 'he would be a great hugger' or 'he was a 7.5-inch haver 🤯🤯🤯')

GRAAAGH I'M STILL SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE THIS THOUGH, I STILL HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT EVEN IF IT IS SHORT AS HELL

[fyodorsslut]

Wrists- Bakugou Katsuki

Requested by: @toomanyotpslove​

 A/N: both of us can’t remember what the request was sadly, but I still have the story and find it very much worth publishing!! So, here we are! It’s not the type of thing I’d usually write, honestly, but I tried

AU: Fantsy!Au

Pairings: Dragon Lord! Bakugou x shape shifter! fem! reader

Genre: Fluff, some angst (?), comfort

play: Particular Taste by Shawn Mendes

Warnings: Not proof read, mention of physical abuse, child abuse, blood, mention of killing, reader triggered, enslaving, dehumanizing, bruises

He learnt to never touch her wrists.

  So, when he accidentally pulls her back by her still-bruised wrist, her reaction doesn’t surprise him too much.

  When Y/n jumps back, startled, clutching onto her wrist like she’s doing it for dear life, with her mesmerizing y/e/c eyes shot awide, Katsuki isn’t even surprised. A good 12 years of living with her have taught him this much, at least.

  “I-I’m sorry,” he coughs vaguely, gulping and watching out for any sign of an abnormal reaction. Even though it’s been long, Y/n’s mentality isn’t that stable and any small trigger could be like a bomb, and the explosion is her turning into some animal and losing control over herself.    “It’s alright,” Y/n sighs, rubbing  a thumb against her wrist.

  “You sure?” with a little tilt of his head, Katsuki takes a closer step towards scared Y/n. “You good?”   “Yeah,” she smiled, nodding. It took a lot of Katsuki not to push further. Instead, he nods in concern, wary of the apology he now owes her

   A few years back, or so he recalls, was when he met her.

                                              (12 years ago)

  The shore was so thick with humid, too much humid he couldn’t breathe properly. His small, bare arms prickle with the sensation of moisture, minuscule droplets too small to see dancing over his skin. The 6 years old boy stretches a little, moving his fingers in tiny circles, stirring up the cloying warmth hanging over the seashore.

  Sniffing, he grimaces, the light breeze smells of fires doused by the passing rain. His small features scrunch, the kid at the castle, went out fishing or such. Instead, he was here, with his parents and some lieutenants, checking on what’s coming in and out the country.

   Dazing away from his parents, he runs a hand through the flowers blooming from boxes along the pathway. The dirt around them is still wet from the passing rains and a particularly exuberant gardener. Behind him, more flowering veins run  up the brick walls and rocks, these people love there flowers. The explode in various shades, thriving in this climate-

  That’s when he spots it. Her

  A few men bulk up, trying to casually hide it, tensing at the presence of the king and queen, clearly not have been expecting it. But, from the heir’s vantage point, he saw the girl clearly, Bruised, chained up so movement is very uncomfortable. Some leather, cage muzzle sat disturbingly on her mouth and wrapped around her head. With clearly barely any movement, the girl’s body could go through so much harms, aside from the position she’s sat in.

  It’s almost terrifying, goosebumps crawling up the young boy’s body.

  “Katsuki?” A gentle voice calls for the ash blonde. He slightly flinches, ripping his gaze off the girl in chains. He looks at his mother in a frightened manner.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Shakily, he points a weak finger towards the cage.

  Holding a hand out, he manages to pull the abashed girl out. She has an air of misuse and neglect. Skinny and barely able to balance her weak form on her own.

  Katsuki softly takes the muzzle off. He smiles at the face in front of him, only to be met by wide eyes and trembling lips.

  “Are you okay?”

  Flinch.

  A small hand grips into the back of his dress shirt. A certain body’s heat closing up to him.

  “She won’t do anything, not even eat. She spoke no words, and is continuously clenching onto the prince.”

   Young Katsuki didn’t understand what was going on as the nurse spoke to his mom. A clan murdered? People... haunted? He didn’t mind her huddling onto him the way she did. He heard she’s a shape shifter, what is that? 

  “Shipped, enslaved, and sold in the black market. She’s a special, these ones cost a fortune there.”

  He didn’t understand, sure. But he still knew whatever this girl has been through, it’s trauma. He knew that from how the words sounded, and from the look on his mother’s face, he’s never seen her more disgusted his whole life, not even when he eats his mucus.

   He glances at her, bruises clouding her freshly cleaned cheeks, one eye purple. Her arms and hands were the same, too. When her eyes catch his, she looks down immediately, pulling away as an embarrassed red paints her cheeks.

   “Katsuki...” The king slowly kneels before his son. “What do you think?”    “What do you mean?” He raises a light eyebrow, confusion written on his face with wide letters.

   The king glances over to his prideful wife, who only softly shrugs, both unaware of what to do with the girl who could’ve possibly ended up reduced to some lifeless corpse in a few more days of starvation. They don’t get to ask Katsuki more than he’s already done; finding the girl. Yet, it seems as though the almighty king and queen, for the first time, are out of any other options.

  “Would you mind staying with her until we figure out how to help her do things on her own?” His brunette father spoke gently, simplifying the words so that the young, stubborn prince could understand much of it.

   “I’m not a kid,” He huffs, annoyance unjustified. “Of course I’ll help her around. That’s my job.”

  A scream erupts from her lips before she could help it. Her eyes immediately shot shut as she holds out her arms in defense, ready for the punishment for being so loud.

  “Hey, easy there,” The man at the infirmary smiles gently at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “She doesn’t want anyone touching her wrists,” Katsuki confirms, watching over them closely like an examiner over a test. The doctor helping figure out her bruises as y/n flinches like a spooked animal.    “Manacles trauma,” he nods. “These monsters really did their business.”

  “Katsukiiiii,” she whines, helplessly running. “Slow down a little!”   “Not a chance!” Her friend chuckles aloud, tugging at the blindfolded girl’s hand as his legs take off, fleeting against the floor of the castle.

   He comes to a sudden stop, pulling Y/n to stop too. 

  “Why’d you stop?” she questions, tightening her grip over his small fingers.    “Shh, we’re here,” he talks, smiling agape as attempts to control his uncontrollable excitement.

  His hand leaves hers, clutching on to the blindfold at the back of her head. Swiftly, he rids her of the void she was staring into.

  The sight she was outlet into was like an ambush to her feelings. Unable to form any words or create a reaction other than a stuttered “is this for me?”

   “Do you... yes! It’s yours! Do you like it?” The young ash blonde asks excitedly, watching over the girl’s reaction. “It’s even right next to mine!” 

   She turns to him, tears filling her pretty y/e/c eyes. Before he realized it, she’s pulled him into a tight embrace, sobbing for some reason unbeknownst to him.

  “Thank you.”

                                   ( Back to the present )

   “Can we go back inside now?” He felt her breath before he heard her voice, straight up nauseous from the amount of people gathered up in such feast.

  “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he grumbles under his breath. He sounds annoyed, but it’s no sweat for his lover to slip past his well-made façade.

  “Thank you, Katsu,” She presses a soft kiss on his cheek. Even though he knows no one saw, due to their position at the far corner of the room, his cheeks rise a flame. He immediately grimaces, you could practically see steam fuming from his ears as he, without any ado, stomps inside puling  the girl alongside.

  “I sure hope you have a proper explanation for that, princess,” He folds two strong, muscular arms onto his bare chest. The multiple necklaces and animal teeth almost scrambling away from his arms.    “Explanation for what?” Y/n raised a brow, playing dumb. She smiles softly, twirling a lock of y/h/c hair around her index finger, knowing damn well the practiced act does the trick.

  “Tch,”he rolls his eyes. Only throwing himself on the couch. “Sit here, idiot,” he pats the spot beside him in a soft manner, indicating he’s about to start a sensitive conversation.

  Gracefully, Y/n places herself on the couch, placing he r head on Katsuki’s broad shoulder. His arm wraps around her waist like it always does, scooting her closer as it finds rest on her thigh ((stfu-)).

  “This morning you were... crying?” He spoke softly, unable to find the perfect way to speak in this specific situation.

  Y/n takes a deep breath, fingers fidgeting with Katsuki’s fingers. “Nightmares,” she admits.   “The same one?”   “I think,” she shrugs, gulping. “I can only remember the faces of.. you know.”

  By the way her fingers slightly squeezed his, Bakugou knew he should stop the conversation there.

  “Don’t worry,” his voice was so, very low she could barely hear him. He presses a tender kiss on the top of her head, letting his lips take the weight of her whole  head, finding rest at that spot. “No one will harm you as long as I’m here,” his voice sent slight vibrations through her head, as he inhales the familiar scent of her hair. “And you know I’m too stubborn to die, anyway.”

  “Wow, very comforting, Katsuki,” she chuckles, pressing a kiss on his shoulder.   “Shut up,” he blurts, flustered.    “I love you too, Katsu,” She held his hand with both hers, printing continuous pecks on it.

  His hand grips her cheek, the other gripping the opposite.  Fixing his seating, he pulls her face upwards, planting a firm and fiery kiss that’s too short for her liking on her soft lips.

  Unlike the rest of the shapeshifters, and unlike most of the the population she lives amongst in this country,  Y/n’s a soft, curious soul. Not made for a harsh living or to be put against anything. Yet, the fire in her only ever lured people, the difference in her. Of all people, the heir to the dragon throne, Katsuki Bkugou. 

  “Fuck you for being like this,” his ruby eyes bore into hers, unable to find a single flaw.

  Both the kids’ hearts raced in their chests.

   He learnt to never touch her wrists, instead, he touched her soul to anchor her

[atinybitofau]

[PART 7] S A N royal series au

RECAP: san is king of eden, you’re queen of elos under one nation along side 7 other lone kings. upon being invited to San’s kingdom, he asks for your help and you find some answers to your own questions.

• series masterlist •

⇩ PART SEVEN ⇩ , click me to read part six.

“Looking like fine wine, this afternoon, princess.” King San teases your choice of color. “I didn’t know you liked to couple match.”

You scoff your exasperation away and part your lips. “My choice of wardrobe is a mere coincidence. You flatter yourself too often.”

He licks at his lips. “On par.”

“What am I doing here, San?”

“Uh uh.” His eyebrow soars up on his forehead. “That’s King San to you. Must I remind you every time?”

Glancing at the curious eyes around you, you let image overpower and you’re forced to correct yourself. “Forgive me, your grace— King San, thou most noble, most sovereign, the mightiest monarch under the lord’s blessed eyes. I concede you’d be any more of that, oh mighty imperial prince.”

San grins at you again and it’s because of plain amusement. Where his kingdoms finest men watch you gloat for their king, he knows you’re only trying to press his buttons. Annoyed at most that he’s making you do the unspeakable.

“That’s more like it.”

You refrain an eye roll. “So what is so dire that I needed to travel 4 tiresome hours for?”

He nervously plays with the cuffs of his dress shirt, his own image changed in a second. “I have nothing to wear.”

“What?”

His eyes shift between you and his men uncertain of his reasons and how they might come across.

“What is it you need, San, I don’t have all day. I have a coronation to plan, my own dress as well— if you’re just wasting my time-“

“I want your advice on what to wear at your coronation.”

You glare into his honey eyes and realize he was being genuine. For once. It was quite amusing to see him this vulnerable. He pushes back at his tussled moussed hair before turning away in such shame of his request. You can’t help but giggle, hands behind your back peering over his shoulder on tip toes. He turns his chin out, your faces now inches apart and you decide to tease him despite your racing heart.

“Does almighty San need my help? From a helpless future Queen that he oh-so despises?”

“I never said I despise you.” He retaliates inching closer making you stumble back. “I simply detest your opinions. That’s all.”

“Well you killed my father so—“

“I did not! And soon you’ll find the reason. One day you’ll regret accusing me of such.”

You jut your lips at that. “For your sake, I hope I do.”

You stare into each other eyes with different notions. Both speaking of war but for now you see much different. In fact, you see the world in his eyes; Bright and bold while he stares at you with an unmoving twitch. He blinks once. Then twice till you finally realize you’re caught in each other’s gaze for long enough.

He pulls at his vest promptly before looking away and clearing his throat. “Will you help me or not?”

“Do you really think you’ll make a fool out of yourself at my coronation choosing your own attire?” You scoff unconvinced. “San, you do realize how out of the blue this sounds, right? And you understand my hesitation.”

He pricks at his teeth in clear frustration. “The men attending your party fit the criteria of social exposure. If it’s not already obvious enough, Princess, I lack in social settings. I, at least, deserve a well put together suit.”

It’s nothing but the truth. Because no one invites the royal family of Eden to their events. It’s just not practical. With all the broken treaties, uncertainties his ancestors gathered in the past, San was far from the luxury of being invited. It’s not that they weren’t interested. They were too afraid of what Choi San could do.

An image for an image.

Weird how you want to change that of all people. Even if circumstances prove to be different, you want San to feel welcome. You want San... particularly in close proximity to you..

“They bother you that much?” You dare to ask even if it seems like it’s a sensitive thing to him. His ego not as real as people like to think. “The things people say about you. How they look at you?”

He looks at you again and there’s fire in them you’ve never seen before. Dim and barely causing a singe. “I don’t want my kingdom to suffer the way I do. And if I have to make an image of myself granted the opportunity given, I will.”

Your lip nudges to the side, soft blush forming on your cheeks for no reason at all. “Asking me of my opinion on a suit and tie wont help that, I promise.”

He pouts almost. “Better than what I can concoct. I can’t even tell the difference between velour and velvet.”

“Yet you can tell the difference between a pretty face and an ugly one.” You roll your eyes, arms crossed over you chest.

“I can tell you we’ve both got pretty one’s. If that’s any consolation.”

“Both are not. Don’t kid yourself, San.” You joke bravely taking his arm to escort you forward— a gesture in tradition.

Your relationship with Eden’s King was not strong. It was not positive and it was not given a sturdy foundation. But the way you see him versus the way you feel are two different things set on two different platforms. Issues aside, you would’ve fell face first for San’s odd charms. His perpetual personality besides his dashing good looks— you’d only think of falling for a man like that. And if it’s a King you need, it’d most likely be San you do pursue. That’s no argument. However, that’s not how things were handed to you.

No, when San entered your life, he was nothing but a nuisance. The killer of your terminally ill father. The man who held the key to saving your dying kingdom’s future? Choi San was in full responsibility and he threw that right back at your face. You should hate him. You should loathe him and with every time you see him, you should be livid. You should be off the walls ready to hang him for what it’s worth.

With what time has given you, it’s in fact far from the case. The times you feel like you should throw San in a ditch, you think of hugging him instead. You wish for a smile to form on his face that you shouldn’t want. No, you actually like hearing him taunt you with that forbidden smile of his. You think it’s fun having him tease you. The bothersome choices in words the King of Eden has in effect keens you. King San reels you in like a river fish; aware of it’s death but chooses hunger first. You dove straight for the bait.

Playing coy, like a damsel in distress wanting nothing but his undivided attention.

Fuck you were falling in love with him, you fool.

You two enter a grand room. Grander than your own dressing room, ironically studded in velvet. No extravagant rocks to show and determine wealth but only fabrics of modesty. For someone who couldn’t tell the difference between velour and velvet, he wore the latter very often.

“Good evening, Princess y/n.” His maiden’s greet you kindly as you enter the room in arms link to their King.

You hold a scoff because even his seamstresses were beautiful. He really can tell the difference between an ugly face and a pretty one.

You curtly bow before shooing San away short distance. “Please tell me. How is your King to you? Unwell, rude, obscenely obnoxious?”

Eager to hear a response from that, you jitter. The women seeming taken aback at most but slightly disapproving too.

“Far from it, your grace.” They defend with urgency. “King San is anything but! He’s too kind to us. We forget sometimes we even serve the kingdom.”

Impressed by their sincerity for their King, you glance to San who seemed restless gazing at random materials. He was obviously too dumb to think otherwise. He was still thinking about what he was going to wear to your coronation. Which was, if you think about it, kind of genuine of him.

“We hope to serve you well too, your grace.” They share a quick glance before innocently batting their eyes at you. “What color was your dress, your majesty?”

“M-my dress?” Your quick to receive.

“King San has been refusing any suggestions to a color. He’s insisted we wait for you.” They whisper as if attempting to keep shame for their king.

You whip around to look at an empty-minded San who was roaming around the room, gawking at random textiles like he’s never even seen them before. Obviously still disregarding you.

“He has?”

“It’s beyond our judgement but we’re forced to believe he quite fancies you, your royal highness.”

You nearly choke on air before San’s attention span finally gets recharged. “Oh that’s right, Princess. I was meaning to ask you about the color of your dress.”

Oh my god they were being serious.

You chuckle awkwardly, the girls snickering at the sudden question. “Why is that important right now?”

His lips curl, red and moist from frowning this whole time. “Because I want to know. Is that forbidden?”

“O-of course not.” You stutter back. “I’m just taken aback, that’s all.”

He sulks in his chair, leg bouncing on the floor anxiously. He‘s throwing a temper tantrum right now. He can’t be serious.

You laugh sardonically again bewildered at his action. “San. What on earth are you doing?”

“I’m waiting.”

“For what?”

“For an honest answer.”

Oh my god, he was being fucking serious.

His maidens giggle under their breaths and San was too oblivious to notice the hidden truth to their reaction. At this point you were. And your face was as red as the tomato’s that’s grew in Mingi’s gardens.

Maybe you two were getting too comfortable..

“San, I can’t tell you what color my—“

“I don’t like any of the colors then. They’re not pretty to me.”

You puff in disbelief. “Choi San, you’re not a child. Just because—“

“A child? Who’s acting like a child? I don’t see anyone acting like that here.” His eyes hood when he glares at you. “But the woman in front of me whining and throwing a fit like one may prove otherwise.”

“You have gotta be kidding— oh for fucksake, the color of my dress is gold.”

Almost immediately, San’s eyes scan the table in front of you and instead chooses a fabric hiding in the breasts of his vest. He was faster than the eye can blink and you don’t even get to see the color before he hides it in the hands of his seamstresses. You gasp showing betrayal at his actions.

“I THOUGHT I WAS BEING SUMMONED HERE FOR MY CHOOSING?!”

“Now I want it to be a surprise.”

Perpetual indeed.

“I hate you.” It was your turn to sulk. “I can’t believe you not only disrespect the honors of a woman but her time.”

San scoffs. “So dramatic, princess.”

The maidens gasp in the pause you two make. “Would you look at the time your highness’. We must ready for supper.”

The women now showing shy smiles, giggle on their way out. Finally being free from the public eye, you slap at his thigh obviously annoyed by him acting up all day.

“You are refutable, Choi San, absolutely refutable.” You resist the temptation to punch him till he bleeds. “For someone who claims to detest me, you really take making my life miserable to unspeakable lengths.

“Something I’d want to do often, now that I think about it.”

“How can you think this would be a good time to be cheeky?!”

“Because you always have impeccable reactions, Princess. How could I refuse?” He smirks, his smile definitely going to be the death of you.

p.s rough edit lol

@atinybitofau

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.10

a/n: do ya’ll love Gei? because this chapter is dedicated for Gei <3

warnings: this cannot be read solo, flamboyance

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 11

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased​​ @infinite-universe-love​​ @dirtypride​ @blackymomo03​ @azzie @purple-rabanito​

“I’m sorry but Endeavor’s schedule is still full. If you’d like to set a meeting with him, it would have to wait till next week.” Burnin answered over the phone.

It was now 2 days since the rather nice date with the chief. You could’ve done this yesterday but the chief had insisted you take the day off. Not sure what his intentions were, you took the opportunity nonetheless. Spending it with your family was the best choice. (Mostly for Nomura’s cooking though...)

Now, you were nested in your cubicle. Face buried in a day’s pile of delayed work. Disappointed that the arson case would have to be moved once more. Maybe the HPSC would take interest in this? Probably not. Still, you wrote down a note to call Mera just in case you were sick and tired of the dead ends.

“In that case, schedule me a 20 minute meeting with him. You can choose when and what time.” You replied and ended the call.

Looking at the time, it was almost lunch and you were set to meet with Gei. His workplace was only 10 minutes from your area and you could afford to take your time knowing this day wasn’t as heavy as the rest. Your phone dinged with a notification from the man himself.

Gei is the Best: Honey boo boo. Is it alright if you drop by the hospital first? I have this patient that just WON'T sit still for the love Beyonce >:(

You: Sure :) Need me to lower his BP? That might do the trick.

Gei is the Best: YAS! YOU DA BEST. Imma inform the receptionist. See you in a few! Lunch is on me <3

Taking your things, you informed Tsukauchi that you’d be out for the rest of the day. Upon hearing Gei’s name, he chuckled and asked for you to wait. Opening his desk drawer, he handed you a sealed envelope and told you to hand it to him.

“What’s this?”

“It’s some pictures of a recent guy I caught. He might find the man’s composition interesting. His quirk was body manipulation. It somehow failed and his quirk backfired on him. Try to imagine a human pretzel except… you can’t untangle him.” Tsukauchi explained. The slight look of amused disgust on his face.

“He does find these things interesting. So you’ll be asking him to fix the guy?”

“Yeah. Called him a while ago so he’ll be expecting that.”

After a few more small talk, you excused yourself and made your way to your car. Everything was going well till you saw the chief talking with another officer. Not wanting to have a chat with him, you turned and took the long way towards the parking area.

Now that you were on the road, you stopped at a red light and wore your ear piece. Using your car’s touch screen monitor, you clicked on Overhaul’s contact. It was lunch time, he surely didn’t have any schemes at this time.

“Problem child.” He answered after the second ring.

“Birdman.” You smiled at the pet names. “When are you free to test the earpiece?”

“Unfortunately my schedule is full today. Would tomorrow work?”

“Sure. What time are you available?”

“Lunch will do. Drop by the Shie Hassaikai. We can eat together.”

You did not intend to but your foot stepped on the brakes. Did you just hear him right? The car behind you honked his horn and that made you snap out of your daze. Remembering that he was still on the other line, you shook your head and tried to contain your curiosity.

“You’re not going to kidnap me, are you?”

“I’m more than capable of doing so.” The slight rise of his tone made your stomach feel ticklish. Your hands now held tightly on to the steering wheel, waiting for his next words. “But I’d rather not.”

“(favorite food). And you have a deal.” You turned towards the nearing hospital. Your mouth silently repeated ‘oh my god’ till you saw a parking spot.

“Till then, Problem child.”

When the call ended, you slammed on the brakes once more and shrieked. Feeling your blood pressure rising from the conversation, you placed your hand on your chest. A faint blue glow forming on your palms. Your rapid beating heart and incoming hyperventilation died down.

“Holy shit. It’s been a while since I used that on myself.”

Stepping out of the car, you walked towards the entrance of the hospital. The guard grinned as he saw you approaching. He knew who you were so you were able to skip the log book. Passing by the receptionist, she greeted you and said Gei was waiting in his office.

In the hallway, you could hear the sounds of shoes running around and a few announcements every now and then. Stopping at a window, you observed a few nurses helping some patients. Most of them had tubes connected to their bodies but none of them looked to be in pain. The machines inside were white and you could see how the liquids were gently shaking.

“OH MY LORD!” You turned around and looked at the direction of the scream. “WILL YOU SIT STILL?! I SWEAR TO THE ALMIGHTY FATHER JAY-Z, IF YOU DO NOT SIT STILL I WILL HAVE TO USE THIS ON YOU!”

Running towards his office, you immediately opened the door only to find Gei in his white coat. His hair a shriveled mess, a syringe with clear white liquid, and the patient hiding behind the sofa.

“Gei?”

“Close the door baby girl!” He yelled and lunged towards the patient. Somehow he was able to grab a hold of the hospital gown. Tugging the male into his hold, he turned to face you. “Your quirk please!”

Not wanting to anger Gei, you hurriedly made your way to the two people. Placing your hand on to the male’s chest, both of you saw how his shoulders relaxed. The crazed demeanor was now replaced with one of calm. You felt a tug on your palm and quickly adjusting your control, you increased his blood pressure till he was deemed stable.

You and Gei led the man to the sofa to where he sat down. Keeping your hand on his chest, you maintained control as Gei did his usual magic. Now that you were able to assess the patient, you saw the dislocation his arm had. His sleeves had hidden it from sight.

Watching as your friend used his quirk, the dislocation began to fix itself till it was finally back to normal.

“Now that that’s over with, put him to sleep boo.” Gei said while he walked towards his desk and paged a nurse to come get the patient.

Lowering the blood pressure even more, you felt the patient losing his consciousness. When his head fell, you had finished your job. Making him lean onto the sofa, you closed his eyelids and observed his breathing. It was steady and even. Not long after, a soft snore erupted from the sleeping man.

“What exactly just happened?”

“The way his arm was dislocated made it rather painful. Told him if he would relax, I could ease the pain by a tiny bit. Lord of quirks, the man panicked and began his episode.” Gei explained as he fixed his coat and poured alcohol into his palms. When the nurse arrived, he assisted in carrying the patient into the bed.

“Busy day?” You relaxed on to the chair and held a throw pillow.

“Oh honey no. Nothing I can’t handle. Your presence only made things quicker.” He exaggerated a wink. “Remind me why you didn’t pursue the medical world?”

“I retain information badly. And to top it off, my quirk just makes me into a human sphygmomanometer. It’s helpful but it works better with the police force in times of raids.”

“Well, if yo happy with yo job then do what you do boo.” Taking his coat off, he hung it on his chair and began to keep the files and paper works. Remembering the file in your bag, you reached for it and tossed it onto his table. When Gei saw the penmanship, he nodded and placed it in his drawer. “Send him my thanks and a hug as well~”

Now that Gei was ready, the both of you were now walking in the lobby. A bunch of other nurses greeted him with his hard earned title. Doctor.

“Dr. Hanayaka. Don’t forget your appointment with patient 247 later today.”

“Yes yes. I have it on my sched. Now puh-leaz! I am on break and I need to refresh my beauty with this lady over here.” He winked at the nurse who simply shook her head with amusement. “Go do your thing now, love.”

“It’s amazing how they put up with you.” You commented as both of you exited the building.

“Of course~ I have the charm, the look, and the wits.” He snapped his finger with each description he had for himself. “All I need now is a man.”

Unlocking your car, the both of you got in and drove to the restaurant he had in mind. It wasn’t too far from both your offices so you didn’t mind. It didn’t take too long before you found yourself seated in a comfortable booth by the window with menus in hand. Choosing one of their best sellers, the waitress was quick to get your orders.

“So… how was the date two nights ago?” Gei was in full gossip mode now.

“It ended pretty well.” A smirk formed on your face.Recalling how the chief experienced a bad stomach ache was satisfying. “The food was fine and luckily he didn’t cause a scene since his food made his stomach go bad.”

“Who was he anyway?” He titled his head. He knew you were too busy to even casually date or even try one of those speed dating things. If there was one man he knew you were interested in but it was too obvious you were still blind that the feelings were growing. “You never told me his name, never mentioned how you met, or even his age. Did you meet in Sinder?”

“Don’t freak out or whatever.” Upon seeing him nodding his head, you let out a long and tired sigh. “It’s my chief.”

Gei held on to his chest and began to hyperventilate. His face morphed into one with disgust and disbelief. Even made fake puking sounds to add to his reaction.

“Oh. Heyll. No.” His voice went a range higher. “Sis. Why the hell you go out with that man? You ain’t got no daddy issues! And don’t go tellin’ me no man would take interest in you cause thaz bullshit.”

“It was either that or I get 10 more cases. I already have too much on my hands. Two of which are major.” You explained and sunk deeper onto the chair. “It’s fine, though. The dinner ended on a nice note. His stomach ache was just so bad that he practically pushed me out of his car.”

Gei’s mind went ticking. The chief asks you out on a date, the date ends on a disaster for him but a success for you. Staring at your happy face, he lifted his fleek eyebrow and placed one knee on top of the other. Leaning onto the arm rest and pouting.

“Tell me, baby girl, whatdyu the day before the date?”

“Me and the chief met up with Overhaul for a quick meeting. Then he got mad cause the chief cut me off and then he dropped me home to let me take a shower cause he said I smelled like him.”

“And what does your brain have to say about that?” Gei asked. A sly smile on his face.

“Not much.” You shrugged your shoulders. “He was right, though. I smelled like beetroots.”

“Oh good lord.” Gei uttered to himself. “Beyonce, if you’re out there, bless this oblivious woman…”

“BUT, the waiter at the restaurant was pretty attractive.” Seeing how Gei shimmied his shoulders and leaned in closer was always fun. “I didn’t get his name, though. However, he had pretty cool hair. Like, arrows for the ends.”

“In that case, imma make a reservation.” He smacked his lips just in time for the food to be served.

The rest of the meal was light and fun. Occasional teasing from him which you didn’t take to heart. You had asked him how his job was and his patients, he in turn asked for updates about cases you could speak freely about in public. Now that the food was gone, he reached for his neon pink wallet to hand over the payment.

“By the way, I’m free tomorrow.” He added with a slight jump. “Wanna stop by this new cafe that opened down the block?”

“I can't. I'm meeting Overhaul tomorrow.”

“You say that so casually as if he isn’t a class-B villain.” He pointed out. “Look me straight in the eye and tell me your heart doesn’t skip a beat when you see him.”

And you did. Straight up told him that it did not. However, you still told him that he would sometimes catch you off guard and end up stuttering or catching your breath. All you’re flamboyant friend could do was to send a prayer to his queen that you would one day realize that you were slowly falling for the villain.

Lucky for him, his prayers would be answered soon enough.

Sadly, it came with a cost.

----

another date but this time with Overhoe himself? wew~ the possilities..

do you guys have any questions? feel free to comment and ill gladly answer them :) take care and i hope you guys like this chapter <3

[licenselesswriter]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 44. And if I could send more, I would.

Inspiration and Reading Asks:

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction? Started reading when I was 12, started writing it, when I was 14, so reading, 19 years ago, and writing 17 years ago.

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both? I’m a 33.3% reader, 33.3% WIP machine, a 33.4% writer, and 100% mess, I usually spend my time doing an absurd amount of WIP that comes out of thin air, like, I can be eating an apple, boom, Bori WIP, a cup of coffee? Boom, Roro WIP, breathing? Boom, Lucaya WIP (that last one happens the most)

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do? It’s called Unfaithful (EN), it’s on fanfiction.net, and honestly, it’s so well written, that I had nausea 3 times while reading it, the pain was so palpable that I felt ill from it.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now. Right now, and in order 1 - Unfaithful (EN)  2 - Twenty Nights  3 - Perfect 

6. How do you find a new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction? Fanfiction or AO3, and have an excel doc with my favorite ships, then I go to the random number generator, putting 1 as the minimum and maximum the number of the last ship I added to the list, then hit random, and read about that ship, keep things fresh.

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics? Both.

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like? When they are on Tumblr, a few times.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community. I’m sorry, but I don’t know if they have Tumblr, so, amirmitchell, snowdrifts, and Onde Tu Esteves

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for? Fandom: Game of Thrones, love all those modern universe AU I have to say. Pairing: Lucaya (Not a surprise) Character: Lucas Friar, Portgas D. Ace, Roronoa Zoro, or Prince Zuko.

Fanfiction Writing Asks:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles? Coffee, food, and usually, Spotify, all that, sometimes, make my brain work into having titles about the things I want to write.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic? I do outlines, in 5 stages, so a pretty big one. 1 - I write in my notebook, what I want to write, like a general idea. 2 - Post it on my walls and door, to give the story some structure. 3 - Notebook outline the arch of the story. 4 - Outline every chapter on word. 5 - Reduce that chapter into mini arches to write faster.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not? I do (now), I usually don’t post anything that is less than 2900 words, Why? because we must not forget that writers not only write for people in the fandom, they mainly write for themselves, and I love to read something among that word count because that’s long enough to keep me on the hook.

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching? I do research for my fics, how deep? I can give indications for divorce paperwork in the state of New York, even if you want or not to go scorch the earth with the “fault” rule, I can give an appropriate value to an apartment or a house in New York, Texas, Nashville, and San Francisco, and I can do taxes on those states too, and I know more about how high school classes work in the US than in my country, even when I went to those classes, and I’m from Santiago, Chile, you know, in South America, like, the last country of South America

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback? I don’t, once I finish writing something, I run away, and watch anime for a few hours, or work (Yeah, sometimes I write on my lunch hour)

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie? I do apologize to “The Games we Play” I have no idea how I outlined your 26 chapters, but I’m still on chapter 2, and I’m sorry.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)? Sometimes I do because sometimes, I write things wrong.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? That happiness I get when I’m in the Zone, and I write something that makes me say “Fuck, that was good”

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? I call it “The Deep White”, also known as writer’s block.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write? I don’t write it anymore, because I was banned from a forum for writing it, but I love to write a bad ending, like “Killing the main character that I make you love for 30 chapters in the end” ending. I’m evil, I know, sue me.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write? The “Good girl trying to change the bad boy,” I hate, apologies, I DESPISE that trope, it’s not cool, first, to be with someone abusive, and second, to try to change someone because you think you’re so almighty that you will change him (or her)  because of love, bs, I SAID BS.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist. I do, and of course, it’s named “Writing Shiet” because my brain can only process decent titles for fics (Says the guy who once named a fic “No Title”) Here’s the link 

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing? Anime and Manga.

27. Do you like to give your readers some warning of what might be coming or just slap them in the face with content at random? I don’t usually do it, but when I do it, I do it cryptic, like “You might be surprised, but this, I called in the beginning.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)? I ignore it, If I can ignore good advice, ignore something that gives me more stress it’s an easy cake.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it? I did but didn’t submit, I wrote for 2019 fictoberfest on Tumblr, but never send a shit, I did enjoy it tho

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words. "Well, we're still not in Texas," he says, implying something not PG-13 at all. "My God, in what did I turn you?" Maya teases him before getting up and grab his hand, pulling him up. Lucas grins at her, "On," he replies, making Maya flirty hit his chest

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? I love writing Lucas and Maya, and honestly don’t know if it helps me or not LOL.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from? 1 - From November to June CH3 A few hours later, Maya heard a knock on her door. She takes a peek through the magic eye on her door and saw Lucas. She grabs her phone and fastly texts him. She was able to hear the 'ding' of his phone, and spying through the magic eye she saw his reaction. "Ok, first of all, I'm not that, second, my mother is not that, and third, I'm not gonna put that there, that's fucking gross, and probably deadly if you consider the size of my hands." he defends himself. 2 - Ten Duel Commandments CH2 Maya smiles at him, "Since you're all Texan cowboy goody-good boy, I imagine you would relate more with the honorable Lord Stark," she teases him. "Says the woman who read three books in a row and texts me at four in the morning," he replies before pulling out his phone, "R+L=J," he teases her, reading her text. "That's private, asshole," Maya recriminates him. 3 - The One Who Stayed CH18 "Then, I have less... GET OFF ME FUCKER!" Maya screamed, punching the person who grabbed her arm, "Holy shit, Lucas." she says, looking at the person she just hit. "Noted, never approach to you by surprise." Lucas says on the floor, "Well, this makes me feel more confident about you being here alone." he says before start laughing.

33. What do you like writing better: one-shots or multi-chapter stuff? Multi-chapter, unless, it’s wedding fics because I love weddings.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is? None.

35. How much has writing fic changed your life? Not much, but has made me happier.

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of? The Glee Project Fandom.

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write. "Shawn called him, and he assures him that if you try something inappropriate, he has a shotgun," she adds, making Lucas's face go pale. "Well, guess like father, like son," he comments, making Maya show unexpected interest in his words.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)? As I explained in the outline question, pretty tame if we count that I have my outline process numbered LOL.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? That I try to make it real, I try to make people feel something when they read.

41. What’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on Tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)? Tumblr? The One Who Stayed Fanfiction.net? Ten Duel Commandments

44. Rant about something writing-related. Please, let’s stop glorifying the “Bad Boy” character, he’s an asshole, allow me to explain, Bakugo, fucking asshole, he’s just a bully with an oversized ego, no, he’s not a tsundere, no, it’s not cute, that shit is abusive, and it really makes me want to punch people in their nose when the romanticize that bullshit.

Done

(Told ya I was bored)

[malecftw]

When the Angel meets the Warlock (part 2)

Part 1 Part 3

And so time went on. The Angel being too intrigued to go back to Heaven, the Warlock too infatuated to go back to his coven.

Instead, they met somewhere in the middle. The Greendale forest to be more precise.

It didn’t take much for the Angel to let a treehouse sprout from the branches of one of the oldest trees rooted there, she’d never let the warlock know but being surrounded by the trees and nature had other advantages than being able to stay hidden from both of their worlds.

While the warlock meant good, his energy wasn’t. At least not for a Heavenly Creature like her. She thanked the Lord every day for the trees, they made it bearable to spend as much time together as they possibly could seeing as the Earthly energy somewhat canceled out his bad energy.

“I know I may not be human, but being friends with a half-witch has its perks.” He exclaimed, grinning as he took her hand and led her into the starry sky. After about an hour of tripping over roots sticking out of the damp soil, leafs whistling in the soft summer wind and a whole lot of giggles they arrived at the edge of the forest. Nicholas let go of the hand he was previously holding as he guided her through the forest. 

She looked at him, piercing blue like hard aquamarine glistening in the dark of night, her eyes almost seemed to emit a radioactive glow. Enchanting nonetheless. Her eyebrows were raised and she looked at him inquisitively. The soft glow her skin carried, was lowered to a minimum. Then again, a figure resembling a human glowstick just appearing out of nowhere on a regular Friday night would seem rather odd.

“Stay here.” He whispered, kissing her forehead with a gentleness she hadn’t experienced before. Heaven was good. Obviously. But it also had no room for human emotion. As Angels, their one and true duty was to fulfill the work of the Holy Lord. Nothing more, nothing less. A sacred task only few were gifted.

Nicholas turned his back and started stepping away from her. A sudden panic in her chest rose, she hadn’t been left alone since she arrived on Earth. Nicholas heard the sudden rustling of the leaves beneath her feet and turned around. The panicked look on her face seemed so out of character. She was an almighty being. What could possibly have her panicked?

“You’ll come back? Right?” The uncertainty in her voice was apparent and it made his heart nearly jump out of his chest. This girl, she wanted him. She wanted him to stay by her side and he couldn’t help but be surprised.  In all his life, the only person who’d truly needed him was himself. He was used to not being wanted. At least not on a deeper level than a one night stand or an orgie with the Weird Sisters. But this girl, she wanted him. All of him. They were taking baby steps, neither of them having any sort of experience with this kind of situation. You know the whole forbidden love between Angels and well basically anyone let alone a Warlock of the Dark Lord.

He looked into that piercing blue once again. “Of course. Where else would I go?” He said softly, almost too soft for her to hear. But she did. She straightened her back and gave him a small nod. Signaling to him that she was going to wait there for him. He made work of his plan and stepped away again, looking back every couple of steps, ensuring that she was okay. Just to be safe.

His hand grasped the cold door handle, neon lights illuminating his skin. The diner was oddly empty apart from a couple of teenagers here and there but that didn’t faze him. The only person he wanted to focus his attention on tonight was waiting for him a few feet away outside of that door. His idea was cute. At least he thought so. A poor attempt at slowly starting to try and make her realize what she was missing in Heaven. He knew how silly it was of him to have hope. Hope that for some unknown reason, she’d stay. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t help himself. Since the moment he laid his eyes upon her, he was a goner. He’d give up everything, but he also wasn’t a fool. He knew there was no place for him in her world. He’d never ask her to stay, he’d never ask her to give up everything she’d ever known but he couldn’t help but try and plant a little seed of doubt in her mind. 

“Hey kid, you alright? You’ve been staring at that menu for an awfully long time.” Nick was pulled from his thoughts and thrown back into the real world in a matter of seconds when the owner of the diner interrupted the never-ending wheel of possibilities in his brain. The man seemed worn down, his long shift probably taking a toll but he didn’t seem to lose the kind sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes. He looked at Nicholas, almost as though he was prepared for a mental breakdown to happen, the teenage boy in front of him looking rather lost. Nick shook his head, clearing his thoughts and remembering what he was doing there. “Uh yeah sorry, could I have a regular cheeseburger and fries to go times two. Oh and a Vanilla and Chocolate milkshake please.” The elderly man nodded and got to work, leaving Nick behind at the bar. 

Nicholas spun in his chair, trying to look outside the window. He couldn’t see her, but he knew she was there. She’d never just leave. One of the few things in his life he could count on. His gaze shifted when a couple of teenagers started laughing in a booth a couple of steps away from him. They seemed careless, young and free. All three of those things, he would never be. One of them caught his gaze and stuck his hand in the air. “Sorry dude, we thought we were the only ones in here!” He was wearing a blue and yellow jacket, his red hair sticking out in various places on his scalp. “No problem dude, I’ll only be a second.” He said loudly so the guy could hear. They exchanged a nod and the boy went back to the conversation with his friends.

Nick looked back at the door of the kitchen which was swung open right at that moment. The man appeared with two brown paper bags and set them on the counter in front of the warlock. “That’ll be 15 in total.” The man looked as he got out his wallet, his lips turning upwards as Nick realized the mistake. “Did you add the milkshakes?” The older man sighed smiling. “I know a troubled mind when I see one. I also know milkshakes make everything better. These are on the house kid.” “Are you sure?” The man nodded. Nick laid out 20 on the counter, giving the man a 5 dollar tip. “Thank you, sir.” He said while bowing his head slightly in gratitude. “Don’t worry about it kid.” He yelled as Nick was walking towards the exit. “Oh, and call me Pop.” Nick turned around and saluted him. “You got it, Pop.” He smiled as he opened the door and stepped out into the night again.

He smiled as he saw her hesitant figure, she was hesitating to come out of the safety of the forest she’d called home for the past couple of weeks. So being the good (almost) boyfriend that he is, Nick halted his steps leaving her with no choice but to face her anxiety and come out into the unknown world for the first time. 

She smiled knowing what he was doing. And she loved him for it. Ever since they had met, he showed her small gestures of support. Not only offering her comfort but also pushing her limits in the most affectionate ways. Always ensuring her that she was safe and he was never gonna let anything or anyone hurt her. Before she could fully realize it, her feet were moving slowly towards the boy she’d grown so fond of. And he smiled. Boy, did he smile alot. She felt like a child, taking her first steps into the world and in a way she was. And was she lucky to have someone like him guiding her and supporting her.

As he took her hand, he immediately pulled her closer. Every chance he got to be close to her, he’d be a fool not to grasp.  She looked down at the paper bags in his hand. “What are those?” She asked, voice almost giving out from not speaking for a while. He squeezed her sides teasingly and she squealed. “You’ll see little miss impatient. Come on, I know just the spot.”

They walked back into the forest for a couple of minutes, the trickling of water becoming more and more apparent as they neared a small stream. At least she thought it was a small stream. Now, she was actually looking out over a river. The sound of the water cascading over the rocks wasn’t disturbingly loud. It was actually surprisingly gentle.

Nicholas went ahead and took a seat on one of the bigger rocks, patting the spot beside him. She quickly obliged, sighing in enjoyment as her bare feet came into contact with the sweet water, washing away the dirt on the soles of her feet, accumulated by walking through the forest. She returned her attention to the dark-haired boy as he started taking out the contents of the brown paper bags.

“This, Milady will change your life.” He said as he gently put the thin cardboard box with the burger and fries in her hands. She eyed the food suspiciously. “This is supposed to be,... Good?” Nick laughed at her distrust. “Not just good darling, I’d even call it... Heavenly.” She rolled her eyes at the incredibly cheesy pun as he cracked himself up over it. Chewing on a fry as he nudged her side. “Ha Ha... Making fun of the uncultured angel. How dare you Mr. Scratch” He grinned and took a fry, holding it up to her. “Just try it, if you don’t like it we can throw it away but I’ll be damned if I don’t introduce you to this exquisite delight the mortal world has to offer.”

She raised an eyebrow and took the fry from his hands, biting into it slowly as he eyed her reaction. A pensive, judging expression made its way onto her facial features keeping him anticipating her final judgment. “I kinda like it.” At that, he threw his hands up in the air, a clear signal of his pride. And then, he really got excited. “Do you know what’s even better?” He asked as he took the plastic lid off of the milkshake cup. She waited, assuming that was a rhetorical question.

He dipped one of his fries into the chocolate milkshake and once again held it up in front of her. “This is actually the best. The combination of sweet and salty. Unf, it hits me every single time.” She laughed as she watched him basically fangirl over a chocolate milkshake covered fry but took his offer anyways.

He was right. It was even better than the normal fry. Her eyes widened and she excitedly nodded her head. “This is so good! Why do we not have this back home wow.”  As the girl raved on about the food, he took a moment to observe her. The light freckles starting to show as she was being exposed longer and longer to the natural light of the sun during her time on Earth. The dimples that appeared out of nowhere, he one day noticed and couldn’t get out of his head since. The way she crinkled her nose when he complimented her. He wants all of it. All of her. For all of time.

“Hey, you got a little something there.” He says softly as his thumb touches the corner of her mouth, wiping away a little bit of chocolate as a result of her trying another milkshake covered fry. She snaps out of her raving, entranced by his stare. She hadn’t noticed how close they had gotten until their noses were almost touching. His hand resting on her cheek, his thumb ghosting over her bottom lip.

“You take my breath away.” He whispers as he leans in, his soft lips carefully touching hers, giving her time to back out if she wants to. But that’s the peculiar thing...

She doesn’t want to.

A/N: I really had to work for this one cause the pond of inspiration was dry as hell this weekend (pun intended hehe). I hate sundays. So I figured why not attempt to make it a little better.

Hope you like it!

Let me know if you want me to make a part 3

Tags: @ohmypreciousgavinyeet @carostar2020 @i-love-you-green @kaepm981

Masterlist.

[marixpedition]

5 Risks That Gave 2019 a 180-Degree Turn

It is almost the end of the year, and here we are trying to look back at what basically happened in the year that is yet to end. I am guessing that it will either be a trip down to memory lane or a flashback of regrets. It is undeniable that we are all rooting for the former though.

2019 embodies a different personality for every person. I have scrolled through Instagram looking at people’s 2019 stories - travel, success, milestones, relationships, reconciliation, breakups, enlightenment, coffee, and more coffee. Some would say it is a year to be thankful for; some would say it is something they have to let go of. I am thinking each year boils down into two options: make or break. 

I have known people who got married this year, had their first child, graduated from college or graduate school, got back with their ex, traveled a lot this year, just got promoted at work. Others I have known of lost a family member, ended a long time relationship, got cheated on, lost an opportunity they have been waiting for so long, was rejected by a person they liked so much or friendzoned, had a friendship gap because of little things that got out of hand.

Disclaimer lang puu: ‘di ako nagbablind item or nangchichismis.

Each year that passes for us is a mathematical problem that just got solved or just left us even more puzzled than we were in this life. If I were to assess my 2019, I choose the latter. There are so many things this year that got me asking myself, “ What the heck was that?” or “What on Earth just happened?”

I am about to share to you 5 personal things that happened in my year and what I learned from them. These are not just 5 personal issues or drama or whatever you would call that, but they are “risks” I took this year that made me tell myself, “Damn, girl! Ano? Rebel ghorl?”

1. Pixie Cut

Christmas of 2018 was when I finally had a short haircut after 3 years of having a long hair, but 2018 was yet to be shaken. It was because I finally decided, middle of this year, to get a pixie after a year of push and pull conflict with myself. I was too excited to get my hair chopped real short that time and also nervous. Why was I nervous? SIZT! I was about to get the shortest length of haircut in my entire life (so far). Who knows I might sport myself a baldy some day? 

Do I consider it a risk? ENTIRELY. It was a huge risk because I was not fully confident that I will be able to pull it off after the magic of the salon blower expires. It turns out to be true. Reactions of the people I know were mixed. “Omg! You cut your hair? I love it!” “It suits you! How I wish I can do the same!” “What happened to your hair?!” “Why did you cut it?” “What are you doing with your life?” (Oo besh may ganun nagtanong, “Ano ginagawa mo sa buhay mo?”)

How did my family react to it? My brother - no comment. My mother - at first she was confused as to why I would cut my hair very short but she eventually accepted my decision. After months of having my pixie, she also got the same hairdo. Idol talaga ako ng nanay ko. ‘Di bale idol ko din naman siya. My father - he did not like it. He thought I looked like a “tomboy” in Filipino context. Jake Zyrus ganorn daw. Even my relatives from the province was not a fan of it especially the titas. I still love them, but I was on the verge of blaming the culture for what it has imposed on women with short hair and glorifying those with long ones. But I said to myself, WHATEVER. 

That is when it hit me. 

That is how it feels when you defy the norms without actually violating any rules. Cliché man pero EMPOWERED tayo mga mamshies. It was following my heart’s desire without compromising my faith and principles nor any relationship. It was a great leap for me - doing something new and beyond my comfort zone.

It reminded me of the day I put my life in the hands of the Lord. Many people would say it is very risky and scientifically unstable based on human calculations, but never in my entire life did I feel like I have done the right-est thing until I have surrendered everything to Him.

But why did I grow my hair again? P350 monthly haircut maintenance at Bench Fix Salon. Mahal, besh. Pulubi na ako.

2. 2nd Pair of Lobe and Helix Piercing

The second thing I will talk about is indeed RISKY. I admit that I have compromised few of my principles and relationships here. Example would be the promise to keep the body pure for it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, which means that having tattoos or cuts/wounds do not make the Lord pleased. Also, because I am an educator who is to be a role model in the academic institution, I must not have gotten a piercing that could push my students to do the same which obviously is not allowed in school.

Second best question is do I regret getting those piercings? Kind of. I am not the type of person who breaks the rules because I detest any form of hassle if it can be avoided. Now, having these piercings is so hassle when I am at work because they have to be removed then put on again at night to make sure the holes do not close.

Hassle talaga, mga besh. Wala eh. Priorities. I love my work more than my nice earrings and piercings.

Kathryn Bernardo made me get the piercings. Haaayy. I still love her though.

Do I recommend piercing? Yes, one pair only for girls. For boys, nah.

But to those who are wondering where I got them (hehe), I’ve had my first pair of lobe since I was a child. I don’t exactly remember where I got them. My second lobe piercings are from Unisilver which used an ear gun. It was more painful compared to needle piercing. My helix piercing was done by Iggy Boy Palma, a professional tattoo and piercing artist, at Whiplash Tattoo in BF Aguirre. Popular question: Which is safer and less painful? Definitely, needle piercing. I give it a 2/10 level of pain.

3. Bleaching my Hair

It was only this December that I finally decided to give my grown pixie a new look. I had the back part trimmed and gave in to the highlights club. At first, I was troubled by how it looked like after having it bleached. IT WAS SUPER LIGHT AND BRIGHT #ManokNaDilaw (yellowish orange). I got nervous because it looked bad on me, and I do not want to be called out again for another violation. So, I had the stylist layer the color with another coating which is gray.

Many people have asked how it was done. Let me share with you how simple it was. First, the stylist tied my hair in half pony tail. The loose part (untied) was the one that got bleached and colored gray. Finally, if you put the pony down, the light dye will be covered but is partially seen which is actually the idea of the style.

Was I happy about it? SUPER. I think this hairstyle is actually cool-subtle kind of rebel. It is not loud obvious, but it shows and stands out. Thank you, Pinterest.

Do I recommend it being done in a salon? Yes! Less hassle, and the stylists know better. However, if you have been coloring your own hair for years now, I guess you could do a DIY not to mention that it will be cheaper.

4. Getting Darker

What is wrong with being dark? NOTHING. But is there something wrong? Yes, many in this country believe that those who are fairer look better. Am I angry? No, but I am sad. Ganda ko kaya, char.

This year, I was blessed to have visited Boracay with my church friend. Despite it being crowded, it was a real paradise (Kala ko nga nasa abroad ako eh puro foreigners legit). The white sand was so fine just like flour. During the trip, I did bring with me sunscreen but not to make myself not get dark but to avoid sunburn. Yes. I was super ready to dive into the sea and just get all that rays on sunshine on my skin. When going on a beach trip, getting a tan is a must. I think tan looks pretty. To cut the long story short, I got darker intentionally lol.

Why is this a risk? I believe I have never been as dark as that in the past four years. After some time, our family went to our province in Quezon. Many of our relatives were like, “Ang itim mo!” “You got dark!” (Ano pa po? Keep it coming!) Well, it’s true, but what is saddening is the facial expressions that accompanied their remarks. Am I mad? Of course, not! It is a risk I do not regret at all. I do not mind getting dark as long as I get dark while on a beach trip and not here in Manila heat.

5. A New Work Responsibility

Now is some serious talk. (Kabado me sa part na ituu) What has changed this academic year for me? First, I got new additional tasks that are more challenging. Second, I am advising both students and teachers already. Third, I’m doing OTs again.

What exactly is this that I am talking about? It’s hard to explain, but let me put it this way. I used to be just an extra in a scene. Now, I am a some sort of a minor character who is tasked to help the protagonist achieve the goal and slay the enemies.

Am I happy about the opportunity? BIG YES. Is it mostly fun doing the job? No (nako nako talaga). There are more emotional heartbreaks, mental breakdowns, and sleepless nights. I have learned things in a not so easy way like how words could mean differently to the company and to the customer and how honest and transparent I must be to our clients. There were moments when I think I knew better, and it was so difficult to submit to authority. In those times, I was able to prove again that only God will remain consistent by my side. He is my constant help and supporter who encouraged me to choose what is right rather than what is convenient.

Did this opportunity put me in a better situation? Triple yes. I admit that the journey is an uphil climb. There is absolutely zero shortcuts (hirap kung hirap mga kapatid). However, God surrounded me with people who helped me mature, be graceful under pressure, control my emotions, laugh despite the hurt, and clearly see the beauty of being a teacher.

To end this post, I would like to just praise the God Almighty for His faithfulness in our lives. Getting through the 365 days is no joke. There were nights I thought of not going to work the next day because I had so many doubts and insecurities. Fortunately, I have only had one absence because I was sick. It was an ironman race to finish 2019. There were several curves and confusing directions which stressed me so much. Even though it was exhausting and tempting to give up, God pushed me to not stop moving until the end of the race (which of course I have not reached yet).

My 2019 is not as extravagant or controversially interesting as others’, but what I can say is that in those motivating experiences that happened in my year, I have earned a bigger faith in Him.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

v. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

v.7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[descensummichael]

My Heroine (Michael Langdon x fem!OC)— ix. the darker it gets

Hey hi, back at it again with another part! I’m having a lot of fun writing this, despite me taking literally over a year to only have ten full parts written. Staying inspired to write is hard and idk how most of you do it tbh. Anyways, hopefully this part will make more sense than the last (lol). Catch up here if you haven’t already! 

Warnings: depictions of violence, lots of religious imagery, Arella is generally p feisty/angsty in this one 

Arella continued down the sidewalk, her heels tapping rhythmically against the pavement. She kept up her pace, not even glancing back as Michael called for her. The conversation that had just occurred between the two of them freaked her out, though she was determined to ensure that Michael didn't see this. The slight upper hand she had gained on him had been a pleasant turn of events, and she wouldn't allow things to swing back the other way.

She couldn't help but snap at him, closing herself off as he explained himself. But it wasn't anger that caused the reaction this time; it was blatant fear.

She knew exactly what he meant.

The feeling that the words weren't hers, even though they were clearly coming out in her voice. Feeling as though she was being manipulated into saying things she otherwise wouldn't. She understood it all.

And it terrified her, producing a frigid chill that coursed through her and made a home in her bones.

But maybe this was Michael's intention; these strange happenings did ultimately begin to transpire after their very first meeting in the bar nearly two months prior. Perhaps it wasn't a coincidence, and all of this was just his sick way of fucking with her head. There had been an evident power struggle between them since the beginning, and he didn't seem to be one who would give up his hold on it that easily. She was quite cognizant of his kind, those with superiority complexes so substantial that any loss of sovereignty could cause them to spiral.

The way Michael seemingly submitted, all arrogance gone as if he was no longer the same person, did not make logical sense.

The entirety of the situation, and Michael in general, did not make sense. Nearly every brain cell was screaming at her to run, to never look back. When her eyes met his, vibrant red danger signs flashed in her mind. This boy was going to bring her nothing but trouble, and the overwhelming sense she had of this was palpable. She could feel it in her chest as her heart threatened to pound through her rib cage. She could taste it on her tongue, feel its nails clawing at her throat.

Run.

Run.

Get away.

She was moving faster now, the clicking of her heels growing louder, less balanced. Her fingers reached up to her neck, wrapping around the cross that hung there so tightly she could feel it pierce into her palm. She was hot, feverish almost as she glanced over her shoulder, almost half-expecting Michael to be there. When he wasn't, she breathed a sigh of relief, her hand falling to her side as she looked forward again.

If Michael intended to drive her mad, it was working, she thought, becoming irritated with herself more than anything.

Unaware of where she was headed, if anywhere at all, she allowed her subconscious to provide guidance. It always took her to where she needed to be. Pulling her hood low on her forehead, she let her mind to go blank, counting the number of steps in between each block of concrete.

One, two, three, one, two, three, four, one, two, three...

Shortly after, she stopped at the bottom of a massive set of stairs. Sighing, she ascended them hastily, yanking open the heavy doors at their peak. After removing her hood, she smoothed her hair down as she took in the dimly lit room. It was completely empty this time of night, the tapping of her boots noisily echoing as she made her way to the front pew. As she took a seat, her eyes settled on the large crucifix before her.

If anyone could help her, it was him. She allowed her eyes to fall shut, lips moving in a silent prayer as she clasped her hands on her lap.

But she couldn't stop thinking of Michael. She couldn't stop thinking about what he said, how she was desperate to fulfill her parents' image of her. How all of it was a lie.

Seems like bullshit to me, Michael's words murmured in her mind.

Maybe it was bullshit, she wondered, but promptly shoved these thoughts away as she began muttering a prayer aloud.

"I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth," she spoke, squeezing her eyes shut.

You come here, pleading to god, pleading he'll put you on the right path, his articulate statements came again.

"And in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit," she continued, her tone growing louder.

Let me tell you something.

"Born of the Virgin Mary," her voice cracked.

He's not listening.

"He descended into hell," she could no longer think straight, the saccharine intonations in her mind taking over.

He's not listening.

He's not listening.

He's not listening.

Was he? She wondered, the chorus in her mind ceasing all at once, leaving her in a deafening silence. The only sound was her breaths as she attempted to even them out.

The longer she sat there, the quiet atmosphere hanging uncomfortably around her, the more she believed Michael's words. Arella had spent much of her life struggling to correspond to the expectations her parents had for her, but none of it was ever enough. She had a temper, she was much too loud for a little girl, too stubborn, too bossy, and for heaven's sake, why couldn't she just take things for what they were without arguing about it?

She yearned for something different, to be free of the constraints placed on her since she was a child. And here Michael was, literally offering a chance at that. She was well aware of how wrong it was, the ache she had for him, but she was finding it harder and harder to resist.

Sighing, she pressed her palms against her eyes before speaking dryly: "God, help me."

But no help ever came.

❦❦❦

Arella was beginning to hate herself as she swiftly proceeded down the steps and onto the sidewalk once again. A chill had descended, and she shoved her hands deep into her pockets as she headed back in the direction of where she parked her car. Sliding her phone out, she was almost tempted to get an Uber back to the cafe.

Stupid, she thought to herself, tapping on the screen with her nearly frozen fingers.

She didn't have a chance to react as she collided with someone walking the opposite way. Slightly startled, she stepped back, going to move around them. Fingers grasped her left arm as her phone was taken out of her right hand. Her gaze drifted from the hand clutching her arm up to the face of its owner.

"You should watch where you're going, baby. Never know the kinds of people you could run into on these streets," the stranger spoke, a malicious smile forming across his features. He was still holding her phone above her head, a chuckle leaving his lips.

She smiled sweetly at him, juxtaposing the rage she could already feel amplifying, scraping at her chest, begging to be free. "You shouldn't have done that."

"What?" He questioned her, sneering. "What are you going to do about it, little girl?"

She wouldn't— couldn't— swallow it any longer, burning white-hot behind her eyelids until her irises were nearly black. Blatant ignorance was one thing, but condescension she refused to tolerate.

She tilted her head slightly to one side. A cracking sound resonated as each of his fingers were removed from its grip, bending unnaturally backwards.

"What the fuck?" the man exclaimed, falling to the pavement below him. "What did you do to me?"

"You're right," a final crack came from the arm holding her phone. Crouching down, she plucked it out of his hand. "You don't know the kinds of people you could run into on these streets. You should really be more careful."

She smirked down at him as he cradled his arm in his broken fingers, tears streaming down his face now. She stood back up, continuing on her way as she ignored the cries coming from behind her.

She knew exactly how she was going to handle Michael and the whole situation.

Maybe God was listening after all.

[sculmeetsbody-blog]

Cowboys and Angels |Selfie

Characters: Ella-Mae Gardner, Noah Winchester, other minor characters?

Summary: A quick glimpse into the past, also I love making myself sad, weeeee~

We ride side by side, A cloud of dust, a ray of light. My touch is her temptation, Her kiss is my salvation. She's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous.

Sunlight and dust filtered through the high school hallway, giving the morning a beautiful haze as Ella-Mae opened her locker for the first time. You’re a woman now, her mama told her that morning, bein’ a freshman and all. Ella-Mae wasn’t sure it marked womanhood for her, but it was certainly a new step. Her older brothers had already warned her about freshman hazing, though they were positive no one was going to mess with her-- either by her charm and notoriety from middle school, or because they’d lay the hurt on anyone who tried.

“Ellaaaaa!” She heard a squealing down the other end of the hall, peering past the metal sheen of the locker with glee.

“Annabelle!” She shrieked right back, throwing her bag in the locker and slamming it shut, running to throw her arms around her friend. She never knew why they had this reaction every start of the year, since they always saw each other all summer, but it was tradition at this point.

“Oh my gosh, Ella-Mae, I am so excited ‘bout classes this year! Do you have algebra first period?” 

“Yeah, do you?”

“Of course!” 

The two jabbered on for a bit as others began to filter into the halls. Ella-Mae had been so caught up in sharing stories with her friend that she almost missed the double-doors of the main hall swinging open and a figure striding in. Almost.

Her eyes rose as the dust kicked up again, and there he was. Tall, curly-haired, eyes bright and shoulders broad. Whatever Annabelle was saying turned into a background drone as her heart thudded in her ears. His overshirt flew back as he strutted in, the taut white shirt beneath it catching the sunlight and adding an extra little glow to him.

“Good Lord almighty,” Ella-Mae whispered under her breath, Annabelle stopping in her tracks and turning to face what was consuming her friend’s attention. Ella-Mae’s mouth went dry as he walked towards them, seeing his eyes shifting about, that walk of his so sure and steady. Their eyes met, he flashed the most dazzling smile she’d ever seen in her life, and she thought her heart had stopped entirely. He gave a nod and a quick, “ladies” as he passed by, and Ella-Mae could feel her entire body flush, fingertips tingling and cheeks burning. She waited until she heard his footsteps melt back in with the others before turning to Annabelle.

“Who is that?” She managed to choke out. Annabelle giggled, nudging her friend as they looked over their shoulder to his parting figure. 

“What do you mean, who’s that? That’s Noah Winchester. I didn’t know he was comin’ over from St. Mary’s...”

“He’s a St. Mary’s boy?” Ella-Mae wracked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen him around town. No, she would have recognized that face.

“Hell yeah he is. He was on their middle school football team. Real rough rider, I heard. Wouldn’t surprise me if he tries to take over quarterback for our team.”

“Hell, wouldn’t surprise me if he got it, too,” Ella-Mae said softly. 

“Doubt it, he’s only a freshman too. Sure, he’s tall an’... built... but ain’t no one our team gonna’ let him run the show.” 

“He’s only a Freshman? But he’s so tall, an’... Cute.”

“Good lord, Ella-Mae, you lookin’ to start the school year with a crush?” Her friend teased, playfully ribbing her again. Ella-Mae turned to fully watch the boy continue down the hall, a smile curled on her lips.

“Nah, Annabelle, ain’t no crush. I’m gonna’ marry that boy.” 

Her parents had been so thrilled she’d made it onto the cheerleading team in her freshman year, and she was beside herself with pride. Classes, on the other hand, they weren’t her forte. She’d heard once you were on the squad, grades didn’t matter, but they did with her dad. It was already third quarter, and her grades were sinking, particularly in algebra. Maybe it was because Noah was in her class, sitting towards the front, while she cowered in the back near the pencil sharpener. They had just gotten back another test, with a big fat D in bold red on her paper. She sighed and slouched in her chair, as the teacher gave them their working time, not noticing, somehow, that Noah passed her until he was over her shoulder.

“Hell, girl, how’d you get yourself a D on that test?” She pouted and glared up at him, though she couldn’t bring herself to be truly angry. Not with him grinning down at her.

“Hey, grades ain’t everything,” she retorted, but she felt a little bit of shame in her grade. ...Not a little, quite a bit. She ran a hand through her hair, a frown crossing her lips. “I’m tryin’.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his expression soften. Without a word, he gathered up the books on her desk.

“Hey, what’re you--” She stood up as he walked towards the front of the class, standing up and shuffling behind him. She saw him lean down to the person in the seat next to him, a boy whose name she didn’t know.

“Hey pal, you mind takin’ Ella-Mae’s seat back there? She’s gonna’ sit up here so I can help her.” There was something about Noah, she’d already discovered: People were so willing to bend over backwards to be friendly to him. Maybe it was because he didn’t seem to have a mean bone in his body. The boy nodded and picked up his books, giving Ella-Mae a smile before taking her previous seat. Noah set the books on the empty desk and looked back to Ella-Mae.

“You’re ridin’ up here, girl. You got any questions, you holler on over to me an’ I’ll help you-- an’ tonight, you’re gonna meet me at Mickey’s, an’ we’re gonna do some more work together ‘til you get it.” Ella-Mae couldn’t find a single protest in mind as she shuffled over to the new desk, sitting down as Noah opened up her book back to the worksheet page. For the rest of the class period, he pulled his desk closer to hers, helping her through each question. Suddenly, algebra became Ella-Mae’s favorite subject.

The two sat across from each other at Mickey’s, a milkshake between the two of them with straws pointed in their directions. She thought after a year, she’d be tired of seeing those dimples and that wild hair, but she only loved it more.

“You know what today is?” Noah asked before casually taking a sip off of his straw.

“Whasat?” Ella-Mae propped her head up with her chin on her palms, elbows to the table.

“Today is a year ago since I asked you here to help you with your homework,” he replied, eyes dancing with delight.

“That was the flimsiest excuse for a first date, you know that, right?” She teased. The memory was burned into her mind, the way they’d sat there until closing just sharing stories and laughing. He had the best sense of humor, never without a smile on his face.

“Got your grades up though, dinnit?” He smirked, picking a fry from his plate to munch on. 

“What can I say? You’re almost as good a tutor as you are a boyfriend.”

“You think you’re real funny, don’tcha?”

“I reckon I am,” she giggled, her entire body lighting up when he reached out for her hand, locking their fingers together.

“I love you, Ella-Mae.” 

Those words never ceased to go to her head like a fine whiskey; no wonder she was constantly delirious with happiness.

“I love you too, Noah. Always, always, always.” 

They’d come a long way by senior year, with her as head cheerleader, rooting on the best quarterback Peach Grove High ever had. It all seemed like a blur, all the homecoming and prom winnings. Graduation was only a week away, and Noah had surprised her with a drive out to the countryside, beside a little brook in the golden fields. They laid in the back of his pick-up, staring up at the stars as she curled into his side. Noah had been strangely quiet all evening, but they’d both been nervous about graduating. 

“I got accepted into boot-camp,” he said quietly. Ella-Mae felt her heart drop; it was something they always talked about. She knew his daddy, and his daddy’s daddy, so on and so forth, had all been in the Marines. She knew it was what Noah wanted, but she always thought there would be more time, that he’d go to college first. 

“Oh,” she replied, just as softly.

“They want me in South Carolina in a few weeks.”

“...Well, that ain’t so far away. Few hours,” Ella-Mae whispered. 

“Yeah. Dunno’ where I’ll go after that, though. ...You could always come with me.”

“I already got everything set up with UGA. Daddy said he’s already got the money goin’ their way.” 

“...Oh.”

Silence fell between the two of them. There had never been such an unsettling, deafening silence that separated them. She closed her eyes, wishing it all away. She’d wake up and it would be the start of a bad dream she didn’t have to finish.

“...What do we do?” Noah asked in a strained voice.

“We could always try long-distance,” Ella-Mae offered. Noah said nothing-- they both knew it wouldn’t work. Not after seeing so many people in the years ahead of them try it and wind up breaking up weeks later, or cheating on one another. Not that they’d do the latter to each other... but distance seemed to have a funny way of changing people. 

“I love you,” Ella-Mae said softly into his chest. “Always, always, always.”

“I love you too, Elle. Don’t you ever forget that, you hear?” 

She nodded and shut her eyes again, listening to the cicadas and the grain rustling in the wind. 

She watched that beat-up pickup drive down the gravel road, her vision blurred with tears as she stood in the doorway. It’d been their last day, their last trip to Mickey’s, and their last goodbye. They hadn’t shared any parting gifts or momentos-- it almost seemed like it would make things worse. Just one last kiss, and one last “I love you” before he walked away, out of her life. Once the truck was out of sight, she staggered to her room, her parents watching silently, wishing there was something they could do to erase the pain. She shut the door, shut out the world, fell to her bed, and sobbed. She clutched the comforter, trying to block out every memory, every smile, every last bit of happiness they’d had together, because it was all a painful reminder that it was over now. It was all burned into her memory, though-- the way he walked through that hall the first time she saw him, the smell of his cologne when he leaned over her to explain variables, the taste of his lips after their first dinner at Mickey’s, the warmth of his chest when she held onto him as they rode around the fields on her horse, the sweat glinting off of his arms the first day he worked for her father on the ranch, the way he whispered ‘I love you’ the first time, at their Freshman end-of-year dance. Something so pure had turned into nothing but pain. She’d realize how silly she was a few years later, when she came to appreciate that love, and that time in her life-- but now, it only hurt.

Because she loved him. Always, always, always.

[rennyji]

July 21st Morning Tweets...

July 21st Morning Tweets...

---

So in the third mentioning of some of the epic Indian Mohanlal movies is the movie:“Yodha”-  not Star Wars yodha or is that Yoda?!- I feel YodHa is a movie ahead of its time, and am surprised that for that time period, the creators had the imagination and budget. It’s a movie about a man who travels to Nepal and rescues one of those Enlightened bald Buddha like kids from something evil, as he is destined to be a protector. The boy is referred to as “Rimpochay” but is nicknamed “Unni  Kutta” based on how his bald head reminds the main character of an egg. One of the advice passed onto Rimpochay, while they’re on the run, is, always be and look ur best. Mohanlal’s words, I believe, are to “look smart”. I think all Indians at one time or another,  before America were about ironing their clothes, shaving, looking their best. I think the Brits still have this idea. To be at the risk of being conceited, when my balding fat self goes places, it’d be nice if the superficial orchestrators stopped using my cultural practices for entertainment. Whatever I am, however I am, I’m just a regular guy, minding his own business.

---

After a decade of nonsense and degrading cr*p, using some things I wanted to pass on, after literally having my senses restored from removing myself from some things, the secondary orchestrators (different from the primary) may try to sum up the entirety of their phenomena as something spiritual and magical from whats passed on a decade later. In the Bible, it’s projected that we shouldn’t judge others. Why? Because what you see in an instant of time is the amalgamation of several preceding past incidents, emotions, memories, thought process, personal interactions, and so much more…without any of that, who the h*ll are any of us to judge another…But that doesn’t apply to the phenomena…you actually “know” it’s happening vs me, that too from the beginning, middle, and end. Don’t insult words and actions that stand out in the world or our minds, by comparing a disgusting scenario as something that also stands out, based on some interesting incidents in passing. To the orchestrators, how low will you go with evading personal space for entertainment? Will you even intrude in a prayer to Almighty God for your ends? I mean what do you say to that?

---

So I admire the gentleness in most women and the femininity to their voices...but I've also come to admire strength. A decade, a decade and a half ago, with the my same appreciation for nice things, beauty, and in that spirit: beautiful women, I think, when it came to looking towards serious things like a future, I would've settled on any pretty face. After a decade and a half in h*ll, where I face off against America, their sadistic government, law enforcement, military (who like to watch you bleed before taking ur life in whatever advanced means at their disposal), the America who mislead the entire world, being against me, I have one additional criteria to nice smiles in my life partner...

I need a strong woman like in the first clip...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tH1FzD1YY8

-I need a woman who I can face off armies with, figurative and maybe even literal (as who knows what America will do with mind reading/mind control, and then combining it with my perspectives on religion to result in crowds being sedated rather than acting on/living the perspective).

-Note the second clip. I mean white, black, brown, East Asian translucent to yellowish tan, whatever...ultimately, I need a woman who's insightful and will able to exercise her anger and powers of communication. I need a woman of strength. 

-From 300, Check out Leonidas's wife amidst the Spartan council/her speech, and how she doesn't cry when humiliated by the man towards the end, but acts accordingly to a traitor of her nation for that time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15pCcwtCS

I need a woman whose gentle and fierce/a fighter. Gentle as a breeze but fierce as a storm. Also someone who will give me peace of mind.

---

So knowing the orchestrators will provoke me more if I say it, I’m gonna say I’m gonna stop with talk related to the following cr*p anyway (I.e. trying to get me to think things):

So, call me crazy, “but I detect a pattern of movement” that comes along as “what is this really about?/or is that what it is?/ as a matter of fact this/that…” in speech/conversation. 

There are “other patterns of human behavior,” but this is what caught my interest.

You wanna know the truth? For the last decade and a half, I have been talking about the very thing steering you, getting you to talk, as it evolved through the years in the things it involves or it’s various complexities. I mean, list it out in terms of what all this increasingly involves…what does it for the primary (v.s. the Secondary)orchestrators when they’re horny, is to get me to go on for years about a girl… I think they try to make all of this about a girl, a stray group of kids…and hey, maybe the party school may not have been as bad as pictured-when they could’ve been managing something with the cards dealt to them (rather carelessly), from someone more authoritative… Now, for the sake of argument, I moved to another country and lived there for a year, when the orchestrators, randomly, abruptly, had family members, remove me from that country for bizarre reasons at the time.  I’m back in America and the rest is history. I was being in another country like India, while being named first in programming training camps, 5 times in a row, when I, a computer science graduate from a state school, was studying/competing, among electrical, chemical or whatever engineers…what is the relevance of a girl or stray kids for that context/time period? A decade and a half later, what is its relevance? If any of you really share the sentiment of “hey bro, what is this really about?” This is about ur American government trying to complete a secret project with everyone’s help, hiding in plain sight, while what comes off as a party school in behavior in sounds, distracts everyone with sweet/wonderful things, to sedate your true reactions to an abomination, while numbing me with ECT procedures for talking about the reality that is actually transpiring, or to get you the audience to take it lightly when ur police make me walk without shoes without talking to me, or years later, gather round me again through 4 suvs… Not even Hitler and the Nazis were this cunning when they experimented on the Jews for eye color and things…and how long was World War II?according to Google, it was 6 years long, from September 1, 1939 – September 2, 1945 . 6 years for the Jews and more for me, because they don’t look as Middle Eastern as me, maybe? how long was the individual experiments on the Jews in Nazi Germany? Did it involve the world, or even that part of Europe, in its entirety? Ive learned through this decade plus of war/experimentation on an individual-that too shamefully to me i.e. one of your American citizens-“you can never trust an American. “ They’re all instruction based acts as a people. Your actions speak louder than words. Americans will stab you in the back, in their relentless actions, be it getting family members to betray you, doctors to shock ur brain, or having the police come at you in 4 vehicles. 

-At this time, I’m asking the American pagan gods to leave me be…out of my mind, out of my life. Know I spit on your flags in front of my house daily and if I could uproot it from the front of my house, I’d wipe my a*s with it, for a decade of senseless torture.--…a devil worse than Hitler shouldn’t even get that much nourishment through my spit on its symbol of hatred and lack of freedom…man it’s the craziest thing…right after writing this, it felt like my mom nodded in approval. So happy she magically knew and agree. -Punish my family and me more oh esteemed (but not really esteemed) nation of nations, oh America…I’d bow before you but ummm I have sour knees…

I mean there’s that, and of course free will - I only bow before The God, capital "G".

---

In an old 300 page elaboration of a complaint, upon realizing there’s a reaction to my writing from the cars below the hill my studio apartment house that it rested on, I said “darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to lasting light.” In broad daylight, a great evil is happening. Because of modern times, American corniness to things, seeing me in the ways I’m seen, you don’t take those words with the same seriousness.  Darkness thrives in the void means in broad daylight, something, by very nature against the legal system l and free will, is happening. Be warned. I even said “time immemorial with the that sentence mentioned. The flaws of human behavior date at least as far back as 2000 years, in the days of Christ. Human nature, in its flaws, continues…

My perception towards all this is through a Psalm, a priest from my old Church directed my way: Psalm 3…

It goes:

1

Lord, how many are my foes!

   How many rise up against me!

(Literally the world is one team of conviction and practice towards me, at least through instruction following in place of what’s in the heart. In this regard, a foe, an enemy, are those who don’t heed my words and talk to me, but instead obey the instructions from the false American gods about how I allegedly want my reality, my world, to be.

2

Many are saying of me,

   “God will not deliver him.(B)”[b]

(The primary orchestrators wants me to ponder,through a spiteful tone, in the spirit of the pagans of old: “where is your God?”)

3

But you, Lord, are a shield(C) around me,

   my glory, the One who lifts my head high.(D)

(If I “appear ‘in forms’ of my head high”, (and don’t want ur pity in this”) know that I ur neighbor( in the spirit of the Golden Rule) am the product of a decade plus abuse. Inside is fire.

4

I call out to the Lord,(E)

   and he answers me from his holy mountain.(F)

(The Lord directs me with seemingly ridiculous answers in places and purchases and words and actions, so that I may endure)

5

I lie down and sleep;(G)

   I wake again,(H) because the Lord sustains me.

(Self explanatory)

-6 

I will not fear(I) though tens of thousands

    assail me on every side.(J)

(I.e. the world, that America’s deception and trickery,  misled against me. I will not bow to the law enforcement or military or the false American gods 

-or their undeserved technology - probably given to them in the same way the Greek god, Ares, screws humankind by giving them weapons ahead of their time, in the movie, Wonder Woman, so that theyll destroy each other...)

7

Arise,(K) Lord!

   Deliver me,(L) my God!

Strike(M) all my enemies on the jaw;

   break the teeth(N) of the wicked.

(After a decade plus of invisible torture, while publicly portrayed in a different, probably pleasant, light, be sure justice and vengeance are a deep desire of mine.

With some people, they truly are destined for h*ll itself. A decade plus of showing the other cheek, using words-this verse from Psalm 3 shows, from the Old Testament, that even vengeance in place of forgiveness, will be with God’s backing, in extraordinary circumstances.

In Matthew 13:41-42, our preacher of love and forgiveness, but who also speaks of bringing the sword, says:

41 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. 42 They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Not even Christ will act on the weeping and gnashing of teeth of those thrown into the fire to be burned, after great evils…as I said before, if we are the Body Of Christ, those responsible for my situation are like tumors/cancers that will be removed from the Body of Christ.

Christians, at least, from whom I’ve run into, are thinking religion is a wishy washy thing where your minds get into some drunken high.

Christianity “is” “about” peace, but also about being vigilant, alert, focused, through pursuits of the mental Kingdom of God.)

From the Lord comes deliverance.(O)

   May your blessing(P) be on your people.

(The evil Americans, after a decade of realization on my part and indigestible evil from theirs, (from my Indian dialect vs the overall language: “gray-hic-an pat-Atha maha vir-thee-aid-a/do-shum…”), the Americans will not stop, despite actual cries for help from me for 10+ years - and that’s when their delusion based thinking, thinks that God will pity their cries in the eternal fire.

It is said by Christ,

In Matthew 25:40,

It is said,

And the King shall answer and say unto them, ‘Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.’

In these hard times, all I needed was a witness to tell me my conclusions on what’s transpiring are true or confirming that something is in fact, transpiring. I could’ve used that to end a decade plus of suffering and abuse. But you chose and followed the false gods, in the primary orchestrators

It is said:

In Matthew 25:35-40,

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,(A) 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,(B) I was sick and you looked after me,(C) I was in prison and you came to visit me.’(D)

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

You inflicted this 10 year nonsense on God Himself, through the third person of the Christian Trinity: the Holy Spirit, which resides in every human and walks with them from Baptism. For the Hindus and others, I think this relates to the belief of “Atman”…

I pray that at the designated time for the end of my problem, before this world and the orchestrators and their timeline, that God will bless me with divine deliverance, with or without His true people.

---

Always bear in mind that World War II lasted 6 years, where 6 million Jews were murdered & some experimented on with things like eye color...that was by European Hitler...- -today theAmerican false gods, inMoreThan aDecade of mindExperiments,usingHumanity as itsRightHand, torment anIndian, or MiddleEastern lookingMan... Even World War II-a 6 yearSituation where @ least those Jews had privilege of humanCompany - does it compare 2 what theAmericans do, where they leave me with no one to even talk to for a decade plus, and have humanity on one side in belief/practice vs me?

---

[urdearestmom]

Lights, Sound, Screwdriver! | Chapter 6

A week after his chance dinner with the chief of police, Mike hadn't seen El again outside of school. They'd both been busy with other end of semester projects as well as work (she worked at the ice cream shop in town and he worked at The Hawk down the street), but they had made plans to meet again on Friday (which was today) to start putting their presentation together. They'd spent the week working on things separately, and now it was going to be time to put them together and make sure everything was okay. Then they would have a week and a half before the presentations were due to start to make sure everything was in place and ready to go.

During the week, Mike had had time to think about the things Hopper had said and El's reactions to them. Apparently, she talked about him at home all the time? That was a surprise. Mike had never thought he was interesting enough to be talked about, seeing as his own parents never really seemed to care about anything he was doing, much less someone outside his family. And on top of that, a girl? To her dad? Jeez.

And she'd blushed! He'd never seen her do that before. She had also glared at Hopper with a ferocity that scared Mike a little, hoping he'd never see that look directed at himself because he was pretty sure he'd be dead right after. It was the definition of if looks could kill.

Hopper had also said he was excited they were finally getting to know each other, which, what the fuck does that mean? Finally? Taken in conjunction with his previous statement, Hopper was making it sound like El had been wanting to know Mike for a long time, possibly years, which boggled his mind because how had he never noticed? He considered himself an observer, and not noticing something so groundbreaking was, to say the least, unusual.

What is going on? He was lying in his bed on Tuesday night when he allowed himself to come to the only conclusion that made sense, no matter how little faith he had in it. She must like me, or something. But how? He turned over and stared at the poster of The Dark Crystal he still had on his wall. What the hell is there about me to like? But then the giddiness took over, and the stupid smile on his face could not have been a good look for him.

It was on Wednesday morning that Michael Wheeler decided that he was going to take the plunge and ask the girl of his dreams (literally, because he had dreamed about her before) if she would like to go on a date.

So here he was, Friday afternoon after school in the library, sitting at a table near the windows and waiting on El to show up. And show up she did, a few minutes later, but looking like someone had just told her the worst news of her life. It instantly put a damper on his nervous excitement.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, watching her slam her backpack onto the table across from him.

She glared at his books. "I think this fell out of your bag last week." Sitting down, she took a small notebook out of her bag and pushed it to his side of the table. "I had a fight with Max."

Taking it, he noticed that it was his D & D notebook, the one he'd spent the last few days turning his room and the basement upside down for. "Thanks," he said, sliding it into his bag. "Do you want to talk about it?"

El was silent for a few moments, and he was starting to freak out because he thought that maybe those were tears glittering in her eyes. "It's complicated."

Mike nodded. "Of course, you don't have to tell me. I was just asking." He was trying to keep calm. Everything he'd planned to say about the feelings he'd been sitting on for a while was immediately tossed out the window, concern for El taking over. What could be this bad? He'd never seen or even heard of El Hopper crying about anything.

She was El. She was a badass, and she was absolutely amazing. Not that crying would make her any less amazing, it just wasn't something he'd ever really considered her doing. He thought maybe it also wasn't a thing she herself ever considered doing.

Sometimes it just happened. He would know.

"It's just-" She started, taking a deep breath. "Her stepdad is an asshole and she needs to report him or something and I've told her to a million times but she doesn't listen! I'm just worried about her," she added in a whisper. "My stepdad was an asshole too."

Oh Jesus. That's what's bad. Mike reached across the table to grasp one of her hands. "Well, if you had a fight about it maybe she doesn't want to talk about it right now?" He wasn't going to say it because he didn't want to make El even more stressed out, but hearing about it now made him concerned for Max. He didn't know any of the details, but from El's reaction he could guess that Max's stepdad was not an asshole in the way his own father was (but much, much worse).

She sighed, dropping her head onto her bag. "I don't know what to do, I'm just trying to help but now she's mad at me and I'm afraid things'll get worse and she won't tell me if they do."

Understanding her point, he nodded, even though she couldn't see him. "Okay, but clearly she's not in the best headspace at the moment, so maybe let her cool off a bit before talking to her again?"

El didn't move, but he heard her mumble into the fabric. "You're probably right." She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

Mike didn't say anything for a few moments, waiting for her to make the next move. After about half a minute of silence, El sat up and pulled a binder from her bag.

"Let's get started, yeah?"

He nodded and they looked over their stuff, but the entire time they were working he could tell that she was miles away. He didn't know what she was thinking and he really wished he did because then he could say exactly the right thing to make her feel better. But people were complex, and of course the universe couldn't make it any fucking easier to understand them.

His mind wandered to Max a few times, wondering how she dealt with a shitty home life so well. Outwardly, she was just a regular girl making the most of her high school career, but now that he knew there was a lot more going on he realized that most of her outward personality was probably a front. He figured she'd be most herself when with El because they'd been friends, well, since El moved to Hawkins, but was she even herself with the boys around? Mike wondered if Lucas knew, but then remembered that it wasn't his business to ask.

And that brought him to another train of thought: Lucas, Dustin, and Max. Dustin very obviously had taken a liking to the redheaded member of their Party, but the girl in question didn't seem like she was interested in that way. However, besides El she was closest with Lucas. Mike wasn't sure if Lucas had lied to him when he'd asked about the nature of the other boy's relationship with her, and it seemed Dustin was insecure about the fact. Tensions had been high between the two recently, as Dustin was of course too awkward to talk to Max without being weird and Lucas was constantly ragging on him about it. It was making Mike and Will quite tired of them.

"Hey." El waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Mike? I need to get home, okay?"

He snapped out of his thoughts and started putting his stuff away. "Sorry! Did you want me to walk you?"

She shuffled her feet. "If you want to."

"Kind of funny neither of us has our bikes today, isn't it?" He asked, walking around the table.

El shrugged. "I guess."

She looked tired and like she needed a hug, so on their way to the door Mike ignored the bundle of nerves in his stomach and the little voice in his head telling him it was a bad idea and swung an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"If you ever need anything, I'm here for you, okay?" He said.

"Thanks."

They were interrupted by a girl who looked like a freshman telling them that they made a very cute couple, which left Mike a blushing and stuttering mess of denial.

"It's fine, Mike, just leave it," El sighed. "Can we go, please?"

She didn't say much on the way to her house, only making the random comment on a passing car or the colour of someone's pants every few minutes, but Mike kept his arm around her the whole way, trying to offer some semblance of comfort. It was the one thing he'd always been good at, making people feel comfortable. He would always be open to someone in need.

He dropped her off at her front door with a squeeze. Stepping back, he watched her go inside. "I'll probably see you Monday, but if you need anything at all, call me and I'll be there, alright?"

El didn't say anything for a moment, and Mike took it as his cue to leave. He was only a few steps down the street when he heard the shout and turned around.

"Wait up!" El came running in his direction, coming to a stop and throwing her arms around him. She's hugging me, oh my god.

"Thanks again, Mike." She stood back. "You're really sweet," she added, a half-smile on her face, before leaning up and planting a swift kiss on his cheek. Holy lord almighty!

She ran back into her house and shut the door before he could say anything, but he was pretty sure she'd had enough time to see the stupid smile she'd caused. Mike walked all the way home with a hand to his cheek and an earsplitting grin. I am never washing my face again, God, do you hear me?!

It was only later that Mike considered that maybe the fact that it had been today that El had fought with Max was a sign from the universe, or something. Maybe something was trying to tell him now was not the time to ask her out, maybe never was the time.

The more he thought about it, the more insecure he felt. Friends hugged each other, right? And friends kissed each other's cheeks. It wasn't like she'd done anything to him that she wouldn't have done with any of the other boys. In fact, Mike had noticed that El seemed to click really well with Will. The two were usually the quietest out of the bunch, although Will was overall more of a peacekeeper and El could be a firecracker when she wanted to be.

Maybe she likes Will. Fuck, maybe she does! He turned over to the window side of his bed, staring at the wall of science fair trophies and certificates of accomplishment on the other side of the room. He'd be a better boyfriend than me, that's for sure. I should probably stop… whatever I'm even doing. "Jesus," he sighed, closing his eyes. His heart hurt. I am so screwed.

[moodymindymusereactions]

When their s/o sends them a pic of their newly pierced nipples and asks for a massage because they hurt

This was fun to write...I think I made it dirtier than it was supposed to be, but...I hope you still like it!

Suho:

There’s a lot going on here.  Let’s just put it that way.  He’s barely holding it together.  He will go through a myriad of emotions before settling on one.  Junmyeon seems like a traditional type of guy, someone who is well put together, holds himself gracefully, and is otherwise usually unruffled.  You sending him a picture of your naked upper body with the new bling is going to take his mind for a wild ride.  At first, he’ll stare at the picture, frozen and trying to comprehend what he’s seeing, then his face will go red, his eyes will get real big and his jaw will probably drop.  First comes surprise (probably shell shock), then it’s bewilderment.  He’ll glance around to see where other people are.  This picture is for him alone.  There’s no way in hell he’s going to share this with anyone and god help the unfortunate soul that gets a peek.  He’s going to wonder just what the hell you were thinking getting them pierced in the first place...but then the OTHER side of his brain kicks in and suddenly he’s very aroused.  Mind you he hasn’t even really read the text you sent along with the picture.  When he does, the whole process starts over again, only faster.  By the time he reaches ‘holy shit that’s hot’, he’s empty inside.  He can’t leave.  He’s the leader.  He has to stay until practice is over.  You can bet he’ll push the guys harder, wanting to hurry up and get rid of the imperfections in their dance so they can all go home.  Let’s just say, by the time he’s through the door, you had better not have a shirt on.  “You’ve been very mischievous, Jagiyah.  You’re going to have to pay for that.”

Xiumin:

It takes him less time to get to aroused than Junmyeon.  In fact, he read the text message and took in the picture all at the same time and now his brain is malfunctioning.  Minseok has one hell of a poker face so you can bet that if he was out with the guys on a schedule or in the practice room/recording studio, they’ll be none the wiser.  He’ll send you a scathing text back, warning you about being a bad girl/boy, before channeling his frustration into whatever he’s doing.  He might even have to step into the bathroom if he has the time.  You know, just to put himself back together ;).  In any case, he’s not going to let this slide, just so you know.  The second he gets home you’re going to regret sending such a risque picture and text.  For some reason, I can see him being super into nipple piercings.  Like he can live without them, but now that you have them, a whole new world has opened up in front of him.  Now, if (and it’s a big if cuz, like, it’s Minseok) you weren’t in the mood for a little something something, because you’re actually in pain and not fucking with him, Minseok would be more than happy to comply with your earlier request.  He’ll hold it against you the next time he gets you in the bedroom, though.  It takes immense about of resolve to not ravish you right then and there.  “You are such a naughty, naughty boy/girl.  You are so lucky I love you.”

Lay:

Okay, this guy has the quickest turn around time from cute to sexy.  Let’s not pretend that isn’t true, alright?  Honesty is the best policy.  Yixing is one of those types that doesn’t actually realize half the shit he does is problematic.  Like who does he think he is for giving us those cute af eyes and being all pouty and then the next second licking his lips while running his hand through his hair?  PROBLEMATIC.  And he ain’t even my bias.  Honestly, I see his s/o pulling this stunt simply to get back at the guy for trying to kill them with his .2 second bullshit.  Sweet revenge!  Let me tell you, this would be an epic way to get back at him.  You know the face!  You know which one I’m talking about!  He’ll make THAT face, mouth open and eyes as big as saucers.  He’ll feel so attacked!  Like, how could you even?!  Karma, sir, karma!  He would do his best to ignore the picture, not even replying back, but he won’t last for long.  Every time he tries to get through the sexier parts of whatever dance he’s doing, he’s not going to be able to get you out of his head.  It’s going to drive him up the wall and out the door!  He’ll be at your door before you know it, demanding to know why the hell you’re like this cuz PROBLEMATIC!  He’s got a problem, you’ve got a problem, and the two of you combined I’m sure can come to a solution.  Don’t do this to him while he’s away.  Like, please.  He’ll go nuts!  “Why, Baobei!  Why would you send me this picture?  How could you be so cruel?” “Cruel? You send me half naked pictures all the time!  WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!”

Baekhyun:

Okay, I’m just going to throw this out there.  Not a good idea.  Please, for all that is good in the world, please do not tease the bull.  He’s a Taurus, people, a Taurus!  Do Not Tease The Taurus!  He has more stamina and more sass than you on any given day.  I’m just saying.  It’s for your own safety.  But, I guess for reaction sake, say you are a glutton for pain and you do send him a picture of your chest with your freshly pierced nipples.  This guy is going to have a silent meltdown in his brain.  If he can get out of whatever schedule he has, he will.  You had better hope he can, cuz the longer he has to wait to get home to you, the longer you’re going to be up that night.  If he doesn’t sleep, neither will you. I'M JUST SAYING!  Baekhyun strikes me as a guy that likes to appreciate the human body, take his time with it.  You adding some bling is only going to excite him more.  Asking him to massage your sore chest is a given.  This guy didn’t need to read your text.  He was already planning to put his hands right there as soon as he gets home.  The lovely thing about Baekhyun is that despite how intensely horny he probably is, he’s a gentle soul.  A lot of people seem to think he goes balls to the walls, and while I don’t necessarily disagree, I doubt that’s him 100% of the time.  This one is a lover first and foremost.  He’s going to be so careful with you, so soft and gentle.  Look, all I’m saying is when you get a nice new pillow or a new pillow case, you want to try it out, right?  Roll around on hit, caress it?  Baekhyun is no different.  “J-jagi, you didn’t…” *eyes wide, hand over mouth* *takes in deep breath* “Just you wait, Jagiyah, I won’t forget this.”  (he really won’t btw)

Chen:

I know I say this a lot, but like King Troll!  Even if you sending that picture was with the most innocent intentions, this guy can’t help himself.  Jongdae is someone I imagine has a lot of restraint.  He just strikes me as a very patient person.  Perhaps that comes from the countless times we’ve heard from Sehun and other members about the way he mother’s them endlessly, but let’s be honest, the guy has to have a lot of patience to mother that group of grown ass men, plus be a full time beagle.  That’s pranks galore.  Virgos by nature aren’t ones for immediate retaliation unless the opportunity is golden and in front of them.  They like to take their time when plotting the demise of a loved one and/or close friend.  Anyway, you can expect a verbal barrage of witty comments.  “Oh ho! Are you implying something” or “The committee is out!  What’s the verdict?”  Anything playful and the complete opposite of what you’re actually asking for.  Is he turned on?  Without a doubt.  Will anyone know, including you?  Not a chance.  In fact out of all the members, Jongdae would be the most collected.  His face would give nothing away.  Maybe he might add some finesse to his body rolls during a schedule or a dance practice, but that’s about the extent of his outward reaction.  Until he gets home that is.  His outward facade would fall instantly and he’d probably have you out of your clothes faster than you can say ‘welcome home’.  All I’ll add to this is:  Good Luck, Soldier!  Have Fun!  “Ah-ah-ah, Jagi!  I don’t know why you’re bothering to try and run from me.  You brought this on yourself.”

Chanyeol:

Weak.  The weakest member.  So weak!  The gif above says it all.  This is the biggest “oh shit!” he’s ever let out.  It’s a damn good thing he’s so tall, cuz the beagles want to know why their giant friend is beet red from his toes to the tips of his ears.  I mean they can hazard a guess, I’m sure, but Chanyeol will protect that phone like his life depends on it.  Also, he’ll have a very strong problem that I imagine can’t wait till he gets home.  If you think he’s staying at work?  OH-HO-HO! No.  Not happening.  He’s not only embarrassed, he’s  horny.  He’s not only horny, he’s in shock.  He’s not only in shock, he’s pissed to hell with you for doing something just so unfair and good lord he’s going to make sure you regret sending him that picture.  He does not regret the choice as a whole, just the picture sending part.  Can you imagine?  Those large, warm hands on your chest?  Wonderfully soft and callous at the same time?  Does that not sound like a piece of heaven?  I think it does!  He might be the weakest member because he’s weak for you, but let’s just be clear: the only person who’s going to be weak by the time he’s through is you.  I see Chanyeol being more of a butt person, but the incentive to pay attention to your chest is well received.  “I didn’t realize you were so needy up here.” “I’m not!” “Ah, but you’re body is saying otherwise.”  “That sounds dirty, Chan…”  “It’s meant to be.”

D.O:

Flushed and Blushed.  Good lord almighty!  Those beautiful cheeks of his would blossom and those wonderful doe eyes of his would be so wide.  Of course the other guys would pick up on this, but damn if he doesn’t beat them into next century for putting their noses where they don’t belong.  Flustered baby is flustered.  He’ll want to send some kind of rebuking reply, but he can’t get the words out.  Over and over again, he’ll write something and then delete it.  Kyungsoo’s brain is short circuiting and desperately trying to reboot.  Silence.  That’s what comes next.  An eerie silence as he goes through the motions of his daily schedule.  People might actually think he’s legitimately angry with them or about something, but they don’t think it’s safe to ask (well unless you’re Kim Jongin, but that’s besides the point).  It might take a few minutes or even a couple hours, but eventually he’ll pick up the phone again and just call you.  You’ll answer and the only thing you’re going to get from him is the shortest retort: “You’re in trouble.”  That’s it.  He’ll hang up and go about his schedule like nothing is wrong, like he didn’t spend half the day trying to put the pieces of his brain and composure back together.  Honestly, though, I feel like he’d secretly be so into nip piercings.  They’re something new to play with and boy will he!  Let’s put it this way, if he can’t have his way with you that night, he’ll hold a grudge until he can.  “A massage?” “Yeah, they’re really sore.”  “....” “....”  “That’s it?”  “...yeah…” “Alright.” (it’s not, just btw.  He’ll get you next time.  Fight me, Daddysoo is real.)

Kai:

I feel like his reaction would depend on his mood when he receives the picture and request.  Like, if he’s tired to all hell, he’ll likely ignore the message and roll over...and then have a vivid wet dream, which he’ll blame on you and either pout or make you pay or both.  Jongin is such a curious nugget.  Like he has so many different facets to his personality.  Most people do, but I find his to be the most intriguing, and he’s not even my bias!  If he’s in a playful mood, you’ll get a cheeky reply back.  If he’s playful and you’ve turned him on, there’s a good chance you’ll have a certain type of reply picture and the text “only if you massage me too (winky face)” Honestly, Jongin will probably really like them.  He already enjoys laying his head on your chest, now he has something to mess with while he’s relaxing.  That and much like Kyungsoo, he’ll view them as something to spice up the bedroom life.  I feel like it would be a major turn on.  Do you know the kind of power you’ll be wielding?  You won’t have to say anything, do anything!  All you have to do is exist, cuz any time he sees those lovely piercings through your shirt POW horny Jongin is horny.  Also, I feel like your chest will become an ingrained part of your makeout sessions.  Honestly, this is a win-win situation!  Congrats you now have Jongin wrapped around your finger!  “Jagiyah, are those?”  “Yup!”  “And I can…?”  “...yup!”  *blink blink* *pats his lap* “I want a closer look.” (innocent face that isn’t innocent)

Sehun:

You know there are a ton of people who seem to think this child is sex lord, but honestly, I see him being more shy than anything.  I imagine him being like Baekhyun, a lover through and through.  He’s playful like Jongdae and a total sass king, but you’re his queen and he would never be mean to you--not completely anyway.  I feel like Sehun is someone who likes to try new things.  Maybe the two of you were sitting down one evening talking about the most random topics and you breached the subject of piercings.  I feel like Sehun would be the type who wouldn’t really know how he would feel about them until they were presented to him.  Like he’s be all “well, I guess that would be cool” or “I can see how that would be sexy.”  Even though he’s verbally affirmative, there would be some hesitation on his part just because he has to wrap his mind around it.  So when you surprise him and send in that picture all that hesitation evaporates, as does his cool composure.  Like Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, his face would burn and his jaw would slacken a fraction.  He didn’t expect you to go out and get them pierced, but damn if it doesn’t look hot as hell!  This poor guy will spend the rest of his schedule trying not to think about how amazing they look on you and all the naughty, naughty things he can do now that you have them.  So he’s not a sex lord, but Sehun is still one hell of a lover. He’s an Aries after all.  You want to keep that Aries in your life?  Spice things up a bit.  Nipple piercings?  I’d say that’s one hell of a move, but a very good one!  “You-you, but we just...Is that why…” “Are you okay, Sehun-ah?”  “You’re devious.”  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  “Of course you don’t...just wait till I get home.”

[kimmyfries]

“One Final Dance with Him”

There was a story of a girl who had a dream, a dream to have her father as the first dance on her 18th birthday but she knew that she could not have that special moment with her father. She feels envious to those girls who are having that special moment with their fathers. She once asked the Almighty, “Of all people, why him? Why my father? Why did you let this happen? Why am I still alive?” So many questions but no response. It took years for her to contemplate. She found the answers to her questions then finally she moved on. But the question is that what really happened? To answer that question, let us go back to the beginning of her story, my story.

November 12, 2012, I was walking back home from school when a cab stopped by me. I heard a familiar voice calling out my name. It was my brother. He didn’t go to school that day because he went to the city to help my mother in our shop.

“Girl, faster! Hop in.” he said in a hurriedly manner. “Dad is in a coma. He had a motorcycle accident. We need to go home and bring the kids with us to the hospital.” he added.

While he was talking, I didn’t know what or how to react that time. It was like decoding an encoder’s message. The words he uttered was still sinking on my mind. I just could not believe that day happened. I was thinking maybe it was all just a dream, no, a nightmare. We reached home, packed our things, and took our siblings with us and went back to the cab.

After awhile, we reached the hospital. I saw patients in a fine situation but one patient really caught my eye. He was laying on the bed with blood over his head and bloodstains on his clothes. He was wearing an oxygen mask but since we were in the public hospital, my brother was the one pumping the device with oxygen so that the man could breathe. People in there were busy trying to save the man from death. Yet I was just standing, doing nothing but burning my eyes with tears. I did not do anything. I did not even hug him that time in which until now, I regret of not doing so. As what I heard, his head was cracked and it caused internal bleeding in his head. I was drowned of my random thoughts and tried to escape that nightmare.

“Lord, please not today. Please not my father.“

I kept on uttering these words. I thought He would listen to me. I thought He would listen to my prayers.

Approximately 1 A.M. on November 13, 2012 when mom told me that my father has passed away. I did not have any reactions at all. I just turned my back, faced a void wall and started contemplating.

I asked God, no, I questioned Him, “Lord, of all people why my father? He is a good man with a kind heart. Why did you take him away from us? If you are really God, bring him back to life.”

Until now, uttering these words gives me goose bumps. I was still in grade 6 that time and I had no idea what I was saying, thinking, or murmuring.

Starting from June to October 2012, I was always present and no absences at all because my goal was to have a Perfect Attendance Award. But it was the month of November year 2012 when I became an irresponsible student. I was always the 1st Honor but my grades became lower and I could say that the incident affected my grades for the 3rd Quarter. I went to school like nothing happened. My face was just so empty, void. My teacher and classmates were cheering me up and reminding me that I still have a goal in life. They told me that if I would do well in school, my father would surely be happy.

We celebrated Christmas Day, New Year, and Valentine’s Day without my father. I felt emptiness inside me. I felt like something was missing. I just realized that dad left us without saying anything and same for us. I did not even have the chance to say good bye and to tell how much I loved him.

Before our graduation, our adviser announced the Valedictorian, Salutatorian, and honorable mention students. I felt blissful when our adviser told me that I did a very great job and that my father would be very proud of my biggest achievement. My adviser helped me for my speech because she knew I was not totally healed yet. Graduation Day came and all of my classmates brought their parents with them. I felt nervous as I was reciting my speech and at the same time my tears started to fall. I caught the hearts of everybody and that gave me a relief. I was imagining my father sitting on the edge of the stairs, looking at me, and smiling widely.

Years passed by, I finally found the answers to my questions though it is not a direct answer but I do believe in this response. Everything happens for a reason either it is a blessing or a lesson. What I’ve learned throughout my life is that everything has a purpose. Even the smallest thing on earth has a purpose. And everything that happened or will happen, there’s always a reason. Only the Almighty God knows everything. We just need to have faith in Him because His plans are better than ours. What really happened? Only God knows. In addition, one of my dream is to have a dance with my father, even just one final dance with him on my 18th birthday because I am wondering how it feels to have a dance with your father on your 18th birthday.

Thank you for reading my story! I hope you liked it. 😊

(Sorry for the wrong grammar and punctuations)

[softupshur]

Imperfect Faith: Chapter 1

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Can also be read here

When her mother is arrested on Lydia Degan's ranch, a young Marta finds herself amidst the Testament of New Ezekiel in its infancy. As she travels with the other escapees, she watches the church grow, the gospel teachings evolve, and create a close bond with the reverend Sullivan Knoth.

Characters: Marta and Sullivan Knoth

Chapter 1-September 21, 1969:

The last Marta saw of her mother was through the window of the police car.

She never once took her eyes off Marta. Not even when the cops cuffed her hands, and threw her into the car. She cried out Marta’s name so loud that the child could hear her through the glass.

Marta took a step towards her, when someone grabbed her hand. She looked up and recognized the good Reverend Knoth.

“We’re all meeting behind the big barn,” he told her. Amidst the chaos, his expression remained calm. “There’s an exit there that the cops didn’t find.”

“Where the old bus is?” Marta asked.

“That’s right.” Knoth opened his mouth to say something else, but when he noticed a pair of his followers in hysterics, he rushed to offer them the same choice.

Marta froze. She could still hear her mother calling her name, and her fists pounding the window, but over the voices, the calls, and the pounding, she heard Knoth’s preachings.

Only the chosen few will see paradise. We are as Noah and his kin, afloat in the flood of sinners. One day the storm will pass and the floods will recede. We will see a new world, a paradise of our own. We will not have to fear the eternal damnation our lord has forseen for the rest of this wicked world.

She took a deep breath, and looked upon her mother one last time before running as fast as she could. She dodged the flashlight paths, climbed over fences and obstacles she came across, and thanked God for her too long legs that brought her to the secret exit.

The exit was a rusted gate, covered in ivy that no one bothered with anymore, but now Marta recognized two of Knoth’s trusted deacons standing guard at the gate.

Marta stopped at the familiar faces and caught her breath.

“Knoth said to come here,” she said, when she could breathe again.

Though the men exchanged confused glances, they did pry open the gate for her to squeeze through.

Once through the gate, there was a third man guiding the stragglers to the old bus.

Marta joined the fellow escapees and found there to be a couple dozen of them on the bus. Most of them were young men, but there was a fair share of women among them, several of whom held crying infants to them, and one that prayed as she clung to her swelling stomach. All of them stopped to stare when Marta stepped in the bus. First at her, and then at one another, trying to place where she belonged, but before anyone could inquire about the stray child, one of the men outside ran in.

“Is everyone ready? The cops are getting deeper in and we don’t have much time until they find this area.”

“But what about Knoth,” asked one of the women. “We can’t go without him!”

The crowd murmured in agreement, and the man groaned. “Fine, but we need someone at the wheel when he’s here.”

He returned to his post outside, while one of the men took the driver’s seat.

For all of two minutes, the passengers waited. Many of the men fidgeted and frequently checked the windows. Meanwhile, the women murmured their prayers, and the mothers did their best to hush their bundled babies.

Marta only stood and watched their reactions until Knoth stumbled into the bus with two of the testament's women.

In tears, the women hurried to the back of the bus, and huddled together.

Once they were settled in, Knoth called for the patrols to join them, but before the driver could floor it, one of the women with an infant cried out.

“Father, wait! Don’t go yet!”

“What is it, child?” Knoth snapped. “Don’t you realize that the enemy is at our doorstep? We haven’t much time!”

“But the little girl,” she said of Marta. “Her parents aren’t here. Is it really okay for us to steal her away like this without them?”

Knoth looked to the child and raised an eyebrow. When he came towards her, Marta neither flinched nor shrank away, though her brow did furrow in concern.

“Child, what is your name?” His tone was considerably softer than before, and he smiled as if the chaos outside their hideout was nonexistent.

“It’s Marta.”

“Marta.” Knoth nodded as he echoed her name. “You’re the midwife’s daughter, aren’t you? I believe her name was Rachel?”

“Yes, Father Knoth.” Marta’s eyes fell to the floor at the mention of her mother. “The cops took her away, and I ran.”

“I see,” Knoth’s smile vanished, and he put a comforting hand on the child’s shoulder. “I’m very sorry.”

“Thank you,” Marta said, in a voice so small that she could barely hear it herself.

“And I’m also sorry to burden you with this choice, but we are leaving this place tonight and we need your answer. Will you be joining us?”

Marta bit her lip, and shifted in her seat. Her mother’s cries echoed through her head again. “What will happen if I stay behind?” she asked.

Knoth sighed. “You are still young, and for that the evils at our feet will surely show you mercy, but keep in mind that your youth will one day be spent and I cannot promise your safety beyond that. Knowing that, which do you choose?”

Though Marta fixed her gaze to the ground, she felt the stares on her. They told her to trust in Father Knoth, to believe in paradise, but it was only through recalling her mother’s regard for the reverend that she found the courage to look back up at Knoth.

“I choose salvation.”

“That’s a good girl.” Knoth’s voice was gentle as he put his hands on her shoulders. He turned her so she could face the naysayers. “You should all look to this child as an example!” He spoke as if he were at one of his sermons. “For even in her fear, she chooses that path to redemption, as treacherous as it may be. Her faith is a perfect kind, and for that she will receive the greatest rewards in Heaven!”

Before the crowd could either cheer or jeer, Knoth looked to the driver. “Go for the wooded path. Keep slow and don’t turn the lights on. Don’t be reckless unless you know for certain that we’re being pursued.”

Everyone held their breaths as the driver started the bus. They waited to hear those sirens and see the flashing lights at their tail, but as the seconds turned into minutes, there was only darkness and the hum of the engine.

It was then that Marta realized that she stood alone, even though there were plenty of open seats.

Many of the women offered her encouraging smiles, but Marta turned from them to the nearest open spot beside Knoth.

“Father Knoth?”

“Yes, my child?”

“May I?” she asked of the seat beside him.

“Of course.” He pat the spot once to welcome her.

At first, Marta was quiet. She sat straight and proper, picking at a loose thread on her skirt.

Knoth allowed her silence, without complaint, but when she found her voice again, he gave his attention.

“Father Knoth, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

Only then did Marta notice his bloodshot eyes.

“What will happen to my mother? I saw the cops take her away and I’m scared. Only the few can be saved, but she couldn’t follow us. I know she would have if she could, but...she just couldn’t. It’s not her fault. God wouldn’t punish her for something she couldn’t help, would he?”

Marta’s eyes watered as she spoke, but Knoth only smiled.

“The good Lord knows what is in her heart, and shall reward her justly.”

“Oh…” Marta feared revealing her ignorance, but Knoth continued.

“You understand what a ‘martyr’ is, do you not?”

“Yes, like Jesus Christ.”

“Just like Jesus Christ. And he is the most holy, right?”

“Right.”

“But do you remember what he had to do to become most holy?”

Marta frowned. “He had to die.”

“True, but through his death, he became our almighty, all powerful savior. For a martyr’s suffering is the most beautiful in God’s eyes, therefore their rewards are the greatest.”

Marta took a moment to process his words. “So is my mother going to be a martyr? Like Jesus Christ?”

“I suspect so,” Knoth said. “For she’s done our people a great service.” He looked to the whining infants. “She’s helped bring the next generation to life, and for that she will be remembered and revered among our people. Not only among what you see before you, but when those babes grow, they shall know it was your mother who delivered them to life, and when they offer their own children into this world, those children shall remember her, and so will their children, and so forth.” Knoth looked back at Marta. “I regret that your mother was taken by the enemy, but you are still here, and I believe your mother’s story will continue through her, and you shall keep her memory alive among our people.”

“But I’m just a child,” Marta murmured.

“For now, you are, but I believe that God has a mighty purpose for you, having delivered you from the hands of evil. Already, you have shown great courage this darkest of nights, and I believe it is only the start of many great things you shall do in the Lord’s name.”

Finally, Marta managed a smile. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” Knoth said. “And I’m eager for God to tell me his plans for you.”

“Thank you, Father Knoth,” Marta said, bowing her head.

“Don’t thank me.” Knoth gently lifted her face so she looked at him again before letting go. “Thank the Lord in your prayers tonight before you sleep.”

“Will you pray with me, Father Knoth?” Marta asked. “Not just for me, but for my mother as well?”

“Of course, child.”

Marta bowed her head and clasped her hands together. When she felt Knoth’s hand on her head, she began her prayer.

“Thou Father who art in Heaven, thank you for delivering me from the hands of evil. I will work hard to ensure you did not save me in vain. Protect us on the road ahead, wherever you may take us. I pray you bring us to paradise and that I will live to see it. Protect the men, the women, and the little ones and give us courage. Also protect my mother and those that are left behind. Should you not guide them back to us, then welcome them into your paradise with open arms. They love you so and wish to see your face, as I do.” She gripped her hands tighter. “Praise be to the God of Abraham, and of Isaac, and of Knoth. Amen.”

Marta opened her eyes.

“That was a lovely prayer, Marta,” Knoth said. He took his hand from her head and stood from his seat.

“Where are you going?” Marta asked.

“A shepherd must watch his flock,” he replied. “I’m going to offer solace to the others. You rest your eyes. The road ahead of us is long, and you should seize these moments of peace while you still can.”

“Yes, Father Knoth.”

With the reverend checking on the rest of the testament, Marta had the whole seat to herself. She laid her head down and brought her legs to her chest. Sleep came quickly, but at one point she stirred.

Her mother’s fists beat on the window, begging to be let in.

The pounding woke Marta up, and she jolted up to look out the window, but there was nothing. Only an endless expanse of desert. She soon realized it was nothing but a bump in the road, and she went back to sleep easily.

[its-a-wongderfullife]

Urbana, day 2

The second day felt like a continuation of the first night -- following a feeling of the crumbling of all my preconceived notions of Jesus & Revelation & my purpose at Urbana, God began weaving together His plan & image for what Urbana would speak into me. 

BIBLE STUDY

That morning at Bible study was arguably the most interactive I’ve felt with a manuscript study, possibly ever. It’s odd because I’ve been on both sides of one, in leading and in participating. But something felt different, I felt overly engaged with the passage (Revelation 2:8-17), and *everything* was popping out at me. The differences in God’s approach & introductions for Smyrna and Pergamum, what hidden manna was, the concept of one who is victorious.. all of it! 

MORNING SESSION

The morning session was amazing. It was René as the exhibitor, again. This time, though, he’s already set the stage for the book of Revelation & God’s scrolls to the seven churches in the province of Asia. In the morning, we covered Smyrna and Pergamum. Now, we were approaching the church of Laodicea. It’s interesting because it’s not a letter that I’m wholly unfamiliar with. I’d even go so far as to say that among the seven scrolls, it’d be on the I was the *most* familiar with. There’s a very popular chunk of this letter in particular that speaks into the sin of being lukewarm -- neither hot nor cold with Jesus, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Revelation 3:15-16) God’s letter to Laodicea was one that spoke of their sin of being self-sufficient. They were a rich city, abundant in natural resources, a trading post for many other cities of the region, and a mass producer of goods. Because of that, they found themselves becoming entirely self-reliant and thereby straying away from any need of God’s provision. They were also a city that was planted far from two sources of water, one being a hot spring that provided warming, rejuvenating water and the other being a cold spring that allowed for crisp, refreshing water. Both served a purpose. However, by the time the water was brought to the city, it was merely.. lukewarm.. almost disgusting to the mouth & often resulted in vomiting & nausea. René spoke into the parallel of our lives, especially to the audience, the majority of which were well-off students and young adults who could afford to come all the way out to this conference. We’ve migrated into a state of our lives in which Jesus is no longer our cornerstone, our foundation, our rock. But rather, He is an add-on to our lives, a God that we come to for *wanting* more, rather than *wanting* Him. This hit home for me.

SEMINAR & FREE TIME

Phil talked about this particular seminar, “Designing Your Life: Following the Spirit’s Lead”, lead by Dave Evans, a prominent speaker & previous high-level employee at big-brand tech companies in the Silicon Valley. He spoke on what design thinking would look like in the perspective of future thinking, in looking forward & openly at what Jesus’ plan for our futures. We were each given a worksheet, with three swimlanes, each referencing a different 5-year life plan. The idea of the activity was that we often idealize and focus on a particular life plan, without really putting much thought into other possibilities, which inadvertently gives our own plans precedence over Jesus’. For the first two swimlanes, Dave had us jot down generic plans / possible futures, branching out slightly for the second. The third was where it got a little crazier, he had us consider what a future would look like in a “wild card” situation -- in which finances, social outlook, and time were not of the essence. In that scenario, what we want to pursue? What would bring us joy? I played with the idea of full-time ministry, in the context of staffing for InterVarsity or living abroad missionally or starting a tech startup devoted to spreading the gospel. He then had us look down and identify what we felt the most drawn to: I looked at full-time staffing with InterVarsity and working in the tech setting (my current, world-centric plan). It felt like I was at a crossroads.

I came out of that seminar with no concrete plans for what to see next, it felt as though there was way too much to do, and way too little time to do it all (see: Supermarket Effect). I opted to visit the Asian American / Canadian Lounge, recognizing that in Urbana ‘15, I had placed a huge priority on ingesting all of the information that I could, with little focus on actually socializing and meeting others. It wasn’t too long of sitting around until one of the staff working the lounge, Tami, came up and started making conversation as I sat there. We exchanged brief introductions & I got to hear a little bit about her experiences in staffing. It was really eye-opening to learn that she and I were the same year and that she was finding great joy in responding to God’s calling in her life towards ministry & planting a chapter at Santa Ana College. It was incredible, I couldn’t help by feel as though God was speaking truth into my life, that my fears of uncertainty and discomfort were minimal relative to the joy that His calling brings. 

EVENING SESSION

This session was jam-packed. The worship was good - as per Urbana standards - but there was a song in particular that pulled on all of my heart strings. It was “Lead Us Back” by Sojourn, lead by a man in a red & black plaid shirt, who absolutely worked the song to its full potential. There was one part that resounded strongly with me, 

“Lord we fall upon our knees

We have shunned the weak and poor Worshipped beauty, courted kings And the things their gold affords”. 

These particular lines sat with me because just a couple of weeks before Urbana, I found out that I was delegated to lead the passages of Daniel 1-2, which wrote of King Nebuchadnezzar and his encounter with Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah - God-fearing Israelites of Jerusalem who were brought before the Babylonian king to be trained and brought into his service. The four men were commanded to eat of the king’s food, that they would be fattened & trained. However, they refused to court the king and instead fasted with just vegetables and water. By the end of the bout, they were the healthiest and smartest of all the other men brought before the king. They showed great faith in not allowing the world to consume them but instead, relying on Jesus’ provision - an act of faith that I failed to recognize in myself.

The entire day leading up to this point was filled with crippling realizations that whatever assumption I had made about my good standing with God, was all wrong. I felt lost. 

Danielle Strickland came up to speak rather than René, whom I was growing fond of. Her demeanor & approach towards exhibiting was polarizingly different. Rather than breaking down the passage line by line, verse by verse in illustrating a picture of Jesus, she opted to focus on a small section of the passage (Revelation 4:1-11), in which the living creatures and elders of heaven bow before God, praising Him and saying “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come” (Revelation 4:8). She gave three anecdotes that stood out to me and stuck with me:

The first of her experience in skiing with her friend. She had gone to the mountain and saw a moon that looked *absolutely* spectacular, unlike any moon she’d ever seen before. When mentioning this to her friend, her friend would simply respond with confusion and shrug it off. This interaction happened three times when going up the ski lift in the direction towards the moon, until the last occurrence, when her friend did a triple take to realize that Danielle was viewing the moon with rose-tinted goggles, letting her see the moon as more glorious than regular perception.

The second of her friend, an ex-criminal who had found Jesus in prison, and was actively pursuing and looking into scripture. He came to her with an eye-opening realization that he understood the passage of Revelation clearly. The beings of heaven weren’t saying “holy” as mere praise, but as an innate reaction towards the glory of God, similarly to how her experience with the moon.

The third, and final of her holding a wedding for two missionaries in the same place where they had met, an area of town that could only be recognized as the “slums”. The ceremony consisted of a flower girl walking down needle and garbage ridden streets, with random locals being openly invited to the ceremony and reception afterward. The ceremony was held in an alley, with a large dumpster behind Danielle as she officiated the wedding. She illustrated a scene in which a homeless man had peeked his head out of the dumpster to see a mass of people attending the ceremony, only to apologize and retreat back inside. As the ceremony ended and everyone began heading to the reception, she came back for the man in the dumpster and openly invited him as well to the reception, saying “it wouldn’t be complete without you”. 

Danielle painted a beautiful picture of Jesus, His glory, and His love for us. He is a God who even heavenly beings can only natural respond to with “HOLY” (see: “holy smokes”), yet is still a God who invites all of us, the most broken, barren, and unworthy, to His divine wedding & grace. I felt redeemed.