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macgyvertape · 3 years

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thoughts on season of splicer ending

warning: spoilers for the entire season, general discussion of leaks, and absolutely being Bungie critical. Basically trying to write this out and figure out my own thoughts in the writing

I guess my first thoughts are what everyone's talking about: Osiris.

All the wild theories about if he's been replaced, controlled, playing 5d chess, etc. tldr: leaks say that from season of the Hunt it hasn't been Osiris but Savathun. Yeah I've read people's compilations of proof until I rapidly got bored with them. I'll be bluntly honest, if Bungie is going for some sort of imposter story-line then they're doing a fucking awful job at telling it.

a) A good imposter story-line needs to establish to the audience that there is the possibility or replacement/control

b) characters in the story themselves should be aware of point A and be actively considering it in their decision making

c) if the imposter is doing something the original didn't than clearly show audience the imposter is there.

I would say Bungie didn't do any of these, no the lore page of Savathun's human disguise falling apart around her doesn't count, because Bungie has long had a problem of putting story relevant plot details in lore pages and then not referencing them ingame. Lore should accentuate story, not provide key details to the story.

If you want to see a good imposter story-line look at Forsaken, and how they worked to make it obvious to someone who didn't know who Mara Sov was that something was up.

Most of the proof people cite is either cherry picking ambiguous things Osiris has said, or pointing out inconsistencies in writing. IMO not much of the evidence holds up because multiple characters this season (Saint, Lakshmi, Mithrax) have been written inconsistently with past appearances and without nuance; because their character has to carry the plot in a certain way or there are limits on recording dialogue for override/expunge.

My point in recapping the Osiris thing, is that from a thematic view at the end of the season Osiris is Osiris and I'm judging the story from the view of the season not how will the story be in the future.

very cynical take that as much praise as Bungie wants for working to make a high profile gay relationship be shown in game after a writer confirmed it on twitter

if leaks are right: if Osiris hasn't been Osiris for the past 3 seasons then none of the scenes with Saint are real or matter, and it invalidates all the emotional grief of Sagira being dead. It's 3 seasons of character development and effort wasted

or: they took the first chance they could to make one of them an unsympathetic villain and write him out of the story.

(yeah destiny has other queer character but how many of them are alive and matter to the story? When was the last time Ana's girlfriend was mentioned?)

The game is clear that for all the talk about "vex tech influence" Lakshmi's views and choices were her own, so the same for Osiris: he is responsible for helping Lakshmi and is responsible for all the civilian deaths, he's the 2ndary Human villain of the season.

Which brings me to my point (that I've seen others say) is that Bungie should have given a second thought to having their all of their human antagonists be PoC characters this expansion. Osiris, Lakshmi, and Saladin last season. For Lakshmi and Saladin they weren't just antagonists, they were written to be bigots for the community to dislike. Yes Destiny has a lot of PoC characters and anyone can be a villain, but IMO its a bad look from a company who talks so much about social justice. It wouldn't matter except Bungie wanted the message of the season to be anti-racism, and I'm comparing it within the context of how often minorities are the villains in games/US media. I don't think it was deliberately done, I just think it is something that like last season's issues with proving grounds and antisemitism they didn't care or bother with a sensitivity reader.

It's obvious this season they were going for a very obvious reference to Trump and modern day fears about refugees with Lakshmi, and it's a bad look that they did with a Indian female character and refugees are the enemy crab aliens. I'm also not saying that female characters can't be villains, but did the Bungie writers not think about just how nasty gamers would get in either slurs, insults, or expressing wishes for violence, and how pervasive and visible it would be?

I'm genuinely curious why the writers went for such a heavy handed analogy, and a story-line that feels like it comes from an afterschool special. The Eliksni have been enemies in atleast 4 expansions now, there could have been a more nuanced story other than "House of Light is good keep on killing all other Fallen". At the end of the season the game treated the attack on the City being Lakshmi and Osiris' fault, and all the people who don't like the Eliksni (say the people doing hate crimes in the lore) left with the factions so "problem resolved" . Lakshmi gets a simple karmatic death, in an area where multiple reddit threads express how they love tbagging the corpse. The ending cutscene didn't feel super inspiring to me it just felt unrealistic not just in real life where things aren't that simple but also within Destiny's story; the "you are my family" line felt cringe to me, probably because it felt unearned.

That's kind of the problem of the season isn't it, that the earliest planned game based decisions like having a Vex seasonal enemy and getting rid of the Factions determined the cast of characters with ties to the Vex and factions. So you just fight x many Vex bosses until you defeat Quria, then there's a break for Solstace, but on Reset-Tuesday with no warning things escalate because its epilogue time.

Sadly I forget who said that "it felt like the plot needed to hit one beat a week" meaning one issue had to get resolved enough for the community to talk about (except for when we take 3 weeks off for solstice). Each week there has to be some sort of hook to avoid the overblown "content drought". So multiple times you will have characters change their mind or their deep held beliefs after one counter argument is presented. (big example is Saint changing his mind not over the season but after one cutscene). City politics and factions don't matter aside from dialogue in a few different weeks because they'll be gone at the end of the season but in the meantime characters needed to talk about something to prompt fandom engagement. example: the fandom argues about governance of the last city for a while before the argument burn out since the relevant lore wasn't designed to hold up to close scrutiny.

just, I'm a politically active leftist in a red conservative state so maybe i just find this exhausting since I deal with similar issues irl and am more prone to thinking this season was tone deaf.

tldr: that wow this turned out really negative. Which I didn't really expect considering how much I enjoyed the first few weeks of the season. I enjoyed a lot of the gameplay this season (I really enjoy fun gambit aka Overrides and VoG). But as for replaying the story on my other characters, I don't think I'll bother.

#destiny 2 #season of the splicer #bungie critical #destiny critical #this is probably the most controversial thing ive posted #or atleast the most critical about things a lot of other people seem to like

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pynkhues · 3 years

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.... any succession fic recs? 👀

Yes!! I haven't read a lot for it yet, but some of the stuff I've read has been staggeringly good. I'm generally more into gen fic in this particular fandom, but have enjoyed some Stewy x Kendall, Gerri x Roman and Naomi x Tabitha too.

A few recs under the cut!

“I wanted to get out. From under all this. Take the money and run.”

Kendall tells Stewy even though he knows he’ll never get it, not like Naomi does. He’ll never understand the crush of it, the heart-stopping head-fucking fear of failing a tyrant. Kendall’s been ignoring the shape of it for a long time, putting pieces of it together in the back of his mind in total darkness like a blindfolded man. It doesn’t matter that one day his dad will die. It doesn’t matter about the money or the hostile takeover or the stolen files or any of it. There’s no running. Kendall’s Logan Roy lives inside his head.

Stewy laughs. Stewy laughs for a long time.

“There is no out, Ken, what the fuck are you talking about? You were born this and you’ll die this. You are what you are, and what you are is a fucking Roy.”

Kendall hates him, for a moment. Lightning-strike furious. What the fuck does he know about any of it, about his dad’s swinging dinner plate-sized hands, about getting 24% name recognition in reliable international polling, about puking every time you think about a car swerving off the road in the rain. About finding out that you can do something unthinkably, unimaginably terrible, and it doesn’t matter to anyone you know but you. There’s a scar on his arm that no one else who hasn’t already been told how it got there can ever know about, and he’s sick of it, and it’s not fair. He hates Stewy for a moment because Stewy’s right.

“I wanted to do the right thing, Stewy, for once in my fucking life.”

Stewy laughs again, more briefly, and the predator flash of his eyes in the neon of the motel sign is a torture all its own.

‘There is no right and wrong, Ken. How the fuck do you not know that yet? Not for people like you. Like us. There’s shit you get caught doing and there’s shit you don’t.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You really, really fucking don’t,” says Ken, and fuck, there it is. The road less travelled, that only he has ever driven on. The path he’s down where Stewy can’t follow. That place beyond Stewy Hosseini where he never thought he could go.

“You’re not telling me something, and when I find out what that is, and I will find out what it is, Kendall, don’t you think I won’t, so I am warning you that when I do find out I am going to be righteously fucking pissed,” says Stewy, and if Kendall thought those were a predator’s eyes before—

“Yeah, you will,” says Kendall, because he knows exactly how perceptive Stewy is. Exactly how weak he is. Exactly, precisely what both of them are.

And treat this night like it’ll happen again by postcardmystery. 8k words. Kendall x Stewy. Post s2. (CW: internalised homophobia, some homophobic language)

I tried to pick a shorter excerpt, but I literally couldn’t, this fic is so. good. The voices are pitch perfect, and it’s got this incredible build to it overall that goes back and forth between time and point of views and just rips your heart out. The premise itself is pretty simple – after the press conference at the end of 2.10, Kendall calls Stewy, and they drive through rural America while Kendall has a breakdown, and it’s just - - unspeakably good. I love it so so so much, I have no words.

r/roysucks Connor’s gf just posted on Instagram (instagram.com) submitted two months ago by webbedscrum_2279 23 comments share save hide report

[–] DM_ME_SAMESMAIL 40 points two months ago I too like to escape to my yacht in the Mediterranean when my family and I are on trial for covering up rape and murder. permalink embed save report reply

AITA for accusing my father of multiple crimes on his own news station? By amleth 3k words. Gen fic. Post s2.

And now for something completely different – epistolary fic which is just reddit news threads of the Roy family drama. I love an epistolary fic and this is just totally charming, and made me laugh a lot out loud.

“You’re quiet,” she observes. “That’s a first.”

“Yeah, well, the Turks beat it out of me. Gave you a run for their money.” He waggles his eyebrows. “So what is this? Whips and chains? Are we doing the whole boat-sex thing? I heard Shiv and Tom are looking for a third —“

Gerri finds what she’s looking for: a black leather binder. She drops it on the bed and begins paging through it, and Roman cranes his neck enough to recognize that it’s just full of documents, not like, dick pics. “I’ve given some thought to what you proposed a few weeks ago, and I agree that we should make things official in some way,” she says, and he blinks.

“Uh,” he says. “Which — what part of it?”

“Take a look.”

Gerri closes the folio and hands it over. It’s deceptively heavy, and the print on these pages is way too fucking fine, he thinks, paging through it. “Is this some kind of, like, Fifty Shades of Roy sex contract? Because it’s not that I’m not into it, but I think there’s a strong argument for going paperless —”

“Strictly speaking, this isn’t legally binding,” Gerri says. “Just something I threw together with regard to our business arrangement going forward. But with no respect to the family — the past few weeks have really illustrated that no one should take anyone at their word right now. Give me a little more than your word.”

Evacuation strategies for a yacht on fire by devourthemoon. 11k words. Gerri x Roman. Post s2. Explicit.

After the events of s2, Roman and Gerri fake being married as a professional alliance, only, y’know, maybe it’s not so fake. This fic is just so, so much fun, and messy in the best possible way. The author nails all the character voices, and the sex scenes are just the right amount of hot and ridiculous, and I just love it all a lot too.

Kendall estimates it will take an hour for the first articles to go up. Some rapid-fire blog without oversight—the New York Post, maybe, or wherever those Vaulter hippies have skulked off to—will slap a catchy headline on it and report his words verbatim. Give or take a gif of his face when he switches to script number two. New York Times, Washington Post, AP, those fuckers take longer. They like to bleed the story like Middle Ages plague doctors for its marrow, fact-check and add context and analysis and as many backlinks as their servers can handle. Still, a couple of hours, and his face will be plastered on every major news outlet. His voice will play over the nightly talk shows. He’ll trend on Twitter. A few more days, and he’ll be the star of analysis segments, podcasts, weekly briefings. Maybe, fuck it, maybe he’ll trend on Twitter again.

It’s been years since Kendall read Shakespeare. But that shit sticks with you, gets under your skin and emerges when you least expect it, like eczema or Keynesian economics. He knows how the media will spin this. Kendall Roy Attacks CEO Logan for Years of Corruption. Prodigal Son Disrupts Family Legacy to Restore Credibility. That’s how Hamlet ends, right? And Macbeth, Lear, Othello, Romeo and Juliet, even Titus fucking Andronicus. The spilled blood sinks into the ground, the seedlings sprout forth from the soil, and a new castle is built on the bones. Order out of chaos, or at least close enough an approximation that the tabloids will buy it.

Legacy for profit by owlinaminor Post-2.10. Kendall Roy. Kendall through Shakespeare analogies – just - - ooooof. It's a beautiful, lyrical character study that weaves through Roy family history and teases at a future none of them are even sure they want. It's gorgeous writing.

For the next few days Shiv would have to keep the pressure on Kira like an open wound because there were other women, victims that Nate’s people were going to find one by one as soon as that phone call disconnected. Mo was her father’s friend, good friend, for a long, long time. Nate and Gil, Sandy and Stewy, too many sharks in the water and the share price probably dipped to a new low but she would never check a stock ticker. Her husband’s nerves fraying at the edges on national television. She had promised a woman she’d never met before that she would kill roughly one third of the top male executives of her family’s company. Her company.

The last look Rhea gave her before she shut the car door was concern close to fear—no longer the same woman who heard their pitch in the safe room, who laughed with her at Argestes. Rhea had only looked into the abyss; she got cold feet and she didn’t even know what it’s like to grow up in it.

Her family’s company is hers, will be hers. Even from a whale fall, new life would spring.

Feed his flesh to wayward daughters by reogulus. 2k words. Shiv Roy. Set during 2.09.

This entire fic is set around Shiv bribing Kira not to testify, and god, it is so good. It’s bleak and rough, and really hones in on the complex ground Shiv walks as a character. It's another brilliant study of what it takes to be a Roy, and the way they make the awful choices in order to fulfill this legacy that they don't even know they want.

Kendall sets down his fork. “So. Tell me. Is it everything you wanted? Is it what you thought it would be?”

Roman stills. He never does that. He’s constantly a menace in motion, slouching and fidgeting, worse even than Kendall at his amphetamine peak. “What? The view from the tippy-tippy-top?”

“His regard.” Kendall wipes his mouth with the edge of the white cloth napkin. It comes away pink from the steak. “Dad. He’s all yours now.”

Roman still hasn’t moved. Finally, he lurches, like corroded machinery come uncertainly to life. “Yeah, man. It’s fucking tight as hell. I love every beautiful daddy and me moment I was a good enough little boy to earn.” He snorts. “Fuck you.” His face goes curiously slack then, like something Kendall’s own face would do. An intermission in the performance, an energy cut. Something genuine finding its way to the surface. “Why don’t you tell me. When you got everything you wanted, how the fuck did that make you feel?”

Nauseous, is the first word that springs to mind. Sick. Scared. I’ve never had everything I wanted, there’s that. I’ve never once had a single fucking thing I wanted. There’s that, too.

Interim leadership by arbitrarily 2k words. Roman + Kendall. Post s2.

I love Roman and Kendall scenes generally, but this one which features Kendall and Roman meeting for the first time a few months after the press conference in 2.10 is just a bit magic. The push pull dynamic that's just inherent to them mixed with the genuine affection and brotherly love is really special, and arbitrarily embraces both in equal measure. It's a great little fic.

There are lots more of course, and I'd also recommend checking out other works by these authors, but I hope this is a good place to start! :-)

#hbo succession #succession fic #fic recs #welcome to my ama #kendall x stewy #gerri x roman

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florrickandassociates · 3 years

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TGF Thoughts: 5x05-- And the firm had two partners...

Hello and happy season 6 renewal! I think I assumed TGF would last three years when it premiered—not five, and certainly not six (this assumption was because I thought the CBS All Access experiment would fail and it would take three seasons for them to admit defeat). Now, I kinda think TGF might just run as long as the people involved want to do it. The way I’ve come to think of TGF is that, because it has no overarching arc or plot and because it is always topical, it is a show without a clear end point. That’s why it’s still fresh even though it is a spin-off in its fifth season. I could see it still feeling fresh in its tenth season if it continues to evolve and change. Anyway, here’s to season six!

Thoughts on season five, episode five, which I didn’t really love, under the cut.

The episode kicks off with TikTok and Jay’s hallucinations... yay. I’m hooked.

Look, before we get further into this episode, I’m going to comment on Jay’s plot as a whole. I am really, really glad this show decided to dedicate screentime to showing how horrific COVID is, and especially how horrific the disparities in treatment by race and class were. The hallucinations pay off about as well as they could. And I still do not like anything about this plot. I wish I could say I did.

Rivi is now out of the hospital and suing Harbor Hospital. He claims that his daughter died of COVID due to their improper care.

I’m intrigued by Rivi’s wife. She’s deaf and reads lips, and her first scene—where she reads the lips of Harbor Hospital’s lawyers privately discussing settlement—establishes that she’s a partner to Rivi and not “just a wife.” (I think this is going to also help distinguish Rivi from Bishop. Both care about families, but we all know Bishop had his wife killed.)

Julius and Diane talk about Kurt’s case. Diane looks incredulous when Julius floats the idea of Kurt taking a deal. I almost laughed at Diane’s expression because, well, she’s talking to Julius, her former client who spent time in prison for something he didn’t do. Luckily the show remembers its history, and Julius notes this to Diane.

Julius also points out that Diane is acting more like Kurt’s wife than his lawyer in this situation, and he won’t share things that are relevant to her personal life but not her professional life.

I am also not going to recap too much of the COVID stuff. Everything I have to say about it is going to be a variation on what I said above-- I'm glad they’re spotlighting important themes but I still don’t like this plot.

I do like that Jay notices Carmen saying “darn” instead of “damn.” She blames parental training and notes she also starts every email with “Dear.”

I do not like that Jay now hallucinates a woman who is literally credited as “naked woman” to illustrate that he has a little bit of a crush on Carmen.

Why are they already bringing the suit before they have found any evidence of discrimination at Harbor Hospital and before they’ve looked into what type of care Pia Rivi actually received?

Jay asks Carmen if she wants to join a group of RL staffers for drinks. Carmen says she’ll think about it. Yay for Carmen plots that bring her into the firm’s social circle.

I also don’t think I’ll have much to say about the Diane and Kurt plot. These FBI investigation plots are always the same: a lot of rehashing of the same fights, lots of new twists and turns where it always feels like the facts are changing, and a clean slate when all is said and done. I was thinking about this the other day and was like, “Ah, wouldn’t it be nice to go back to the good old days before the stakes got so high that the FBI was always investigating one of the regulars”? And then I remembered that season 1 of Wife has a plotline (which ends up being mostly inconsequential) in which the FBI investigate Peter.

The FBI’s investigation of Peter in season 1 is so inconsequential, in fact, that it brings us Elsbeth’s first appearance and I STILL see people thinking that Executive Order 13224 in season 3 is her first appearance. It is forgettable enough that people manage to forget ELSBETH TASCIONI.

Anyway my point here is just that this feels like familiar territory and until the writers prove to me they have something new to say, about Jan 6 or about the FBI or about Diane and Kurt’s marriage, I... am not that invested.

Julius calls Diane out on being part of every conversation with Kurt. This is a good point. This is something that I would like to see the show address more. Didn’t Kurt ask Diane last episode not to be involved? Why don’t we get to see the fallout of that decision and how it impacts their marriage? I know this show is not character driven in the way I’d like it to be, and I know that is part of why it always feels fresh. It just tries my patience sometimes.

Diane looks really red in this scene.

LOL @ the stock footage of an ambulance pulling up in front of Harbor Hospital that clearly says “LOS ANGELES CITY FIRE DEPARTMENT.”

One problem I have with Jay’s plot in this episode is that it feels very, very similar to the hospital episode of Evil. This is only a problem because the episode of Evil is much better. The hospital episode of Evil uses horror to show racism in the healthcare system; it’s very innovative and suspenseful. This episode wants to do the same thing... but I don’t think the writers found the exact right tone to pull it off. I can see what they are trying to do and admire that they are trying, at least.

I am struggling to articulate why I dislike this plot so much! The best I can say is that something just isn’t clicking. And, honestly, this may just be a problem with how little I’ve ever understood the hype around Jay. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said this before, but the show seems more enamored with Jay than I am, and I’m always at a little bit of a distance from the character. (I suspect it’s an acting thing, not a writing thing.)

There is also just a LOT going on in all of the Jay/hospital scenes, probably more than is needed to get the point across. It’s like the episode can’t decide if it’s all in on being horror, if it’s trying to be surreal, if it’s trying to be quirky, if it’s trying to be heartfelt, if it’s trying to be pointed, or if it’s trying to be about Jay’s emotions. I actually think this plot would’ve worked better if it were a little toned down.

Starkey is in Diane’s office and it’s time for one of those scenes that happens in all of these FBI plots where the FBI agent is annoying and then the person they’re annoying walks away and is sassy towards the FBI. This scene feels like a mix of the one in the season two premiere where Starkey tries this strategy on Maia and some of the clunkier moments of the TGW series finale.

Danny Pino is on The Good Fight now! I’m excited to see him! He’s super charismatic; I see why they had him playing a politician on BrainDead. On this show, he insists everyone call him Racehorse.

Racehorse is now representing the hospital, and Carmen is a little outmatched.

Predictably, Racehorse’s strategy is to try to force Rivi to testify by bringing a countersuit. Testifying is obviously bad for Rivi since he runs a criminal enterprise and would have to answer questions under oath.

Really long pause before the credits. Also, I don’t like this thing where we don’t get to see Liz until after the credits. I demand more Liz!

This episode is called “And the firm had two partners” but has nothing to do with Diane and Liz and the drama about who should be a name partner. It barely even has anything to do with Liz! Misleading.

Yay for Nikki M. James, who directed this episode!

Okay, I saw a post on Reddit about how everyone looks red in this episode and didn’t think anything of it, but on rewatch? That post is spot-on; everyone looks red. The scenes in Diane’s home are particularly bad. Kurt looks like he has an awful sunburn.

I’m glad to see Diane’s home also has a kitchen; I was getting concerned it really was just that one room.

I love Diane and Kurt but sometimes their plots rely too heavily on just being like, she’s a liberal! He's a conservative! Tension ensues!

This episode is, sadly, Wackner free and very light on Marissa. I am fine without Wackner for an episode (sometimes a break from gimmick is nice) but I really miss Marissa’s energy.

Diane asks Marissa to investigate something related to Kurt’s case. Marissa’s not thrilled, seeing as she is no longer an investigator and has two other jobs, but she agrees anyway.

Diane doesn’t learn, does she? Two scenes ago she was apologizing to Kurt for meddling and revealing info he didn’t want her to reveal (the name of the rioter) and now she’s trying to get more information so she can... put herself in a position where she can act on more information Kurt doesn’t want her to act on? Cool.

LIZ!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

Rivi and Isabel want to talk to Liz without Carmen present. Isabel, wisely, wants Liz to be on the case along with Carmen. Liz protests, but Isabel insists. She notes that she could see some associates using a racial slur against Rivi... and Liz knows she has to join the case to keep Rivi on as a client. She apologizes and then fires all three associates involved in the joke.

There’s a whole subplot about a doctor who posts TikToks that allege racism at Harbor Hospital, but also silly TikToks to boost her follower count. I do like that they allow this doctor to be both someone who wanted to do good and someone who wanted fame.

After this, though, we lose the thread of the TikTok dancer (and of the COTW, kind of) because the plot becomes more about Jay. That’s fine, though it’s a little bit clunky.

There’s a reveal that Jay’s hallucination of Frederick Douglass is actually a fellow patient who was in the COVID pit at Harbor Hospital with him. As I said before, this is the best payoff for the hallucinations possible, but there were still too many scenes of the hallucinations.

Wow, I actively do not want to watch these scenes a second time.

NRA lady from the season 2 panel (with Adrian, Mr. Elk, the Florrick fan, etc.) is back. She is friends with Kurt, because of course she is, and could speak up and defend him. She doesn’t want to.

God, I hope he isn’t fucking her. I can barely do another one of these FBI plots—don't make me sit through another Kurt Likes Pretty Ladies with Guns plot.

Even though NRA lady doesn’t want to speak up, Marissa has followed Kurt and identified her.

More stuff happens with Jay.

What if the hallucinations don’t end with this episode? I like showing that Jay is a long hauler but omg do I loathe these hallucinations.

I do like that Jay clues Carmen in on the hallucinations.

Why is Julius even allowing Diane to tag along on visits to Starkey, and why must this gag with the dead birds keep going?!?

More Jay stuff.

I just don’t get why they’re asking about the Pit, where Jay and lots of other black or brown people with COVID were held, before they have any idea where Pia Rivi was held in the hospital. Are they just trying to fact-find?

Shockingly, Pia Rivi was never sent to the Pit and actually received special care because no one wanted to anger Rivi. I... would have assumed this from the start or looked into this before bringing the suit? I know the whole point of this case is to get to explore Jay’s experience in the hospital and shine light on disparities in healthcare but I can still nitpick!

Jay recalls hearing someone say that he was taken out of the Pit and given better care after the hospital received a call. He asks Liz if she made that call—she didn’t. She says she wishes it had been her, but she didn’t know the situation was that bad. I’m a little surprised we didn’t get references to Adrian or Marissa here. If they could’ve made a call, they absolutely would’ve. Adrian’s like a father to Jay, and Marissa is a loyal friend. Adrian has enough sway to get Jay better care, and you KNOW Marissa is resourceful and connected enough to get him good care.

I really love this Liz and Carmen scene where Carmen asks Liz for advice and Liz helps her out. I like that Carmen still has things to learn—and knows it—even as she’s a great, capable, talented lawyer.

Carmen starts to leave, then turns around and says, “I want to learn from you. I don’t... My attitude is knowing, but it’s just my attitude. It’s not who I am.” YES! I’m so glad we’re getting lines like this that make Carmen’s personality clearer. She’s not a malicious sociopath who wants to defend drug dealers and help bad people get away with horrible crimes. She’s a new lawyer who wants to be ready to handle anything, make a name for herself, and come across as untouchable. This line makes everything click into place: this is why she’s willing to represent Rivi, put forward her own strategies, and be so polite it's rude to Liz... and why she also would rather stay at RL than go work full time for Lester.

Liz smiles, realizing she’s gotten through. “Carmen. When I was your age, I acted exactly the same way. I wanted to be perfect. So, I acted like I was perfect. Because bluff is always a part of it, but just... just let me help you, when I can. Ask questions.” I believe it. And now I really just want to see an episode where young Liz and young Alicia face off. My guess is Liz tried to project boldness and fearlessness, while Alicia tried to project hyper competence and that’s why they clashed (and why Alicia was thought to lack a “killer instinct”). Okay, okay, I’ll stop talking about Alicia.

Racehorse deposes Rivi and it ends with Rivi beating the crap out of Racehorse. I assume this is setting up a longer arc. You don’t introduce a personality as big as Racehorse played by a Kings-favorite like Danny Pino without having plans.

Also, it’s heavily implied that Isabel is a huge part of the leadership of Rivi’s drug empire. I’m no longer surprised by “actually the wife isn’t so innocent and is also a criminal!” reveals, but I still like this. I think it works better because there’s never any implication that Isabel is an unknowing innocent. Rivi treats her like his equal from their first scene together; she clearly is aware and okay with his prison time and the accusations against him.

We spend a lot of time on how the whole fight was caught on camera. Wonder if that will come back. (I can’t remember—did that accidental sex tape of Maia and the DNC girl ever come back into play?)

Diane threatens NRA lady until she agrees to help Kurt out.

Jay asks Diane if she made the call to help him. She didn’t. Like Liz, she’s apologetic that it wasn’t her.

Turns out it was David Lee. He claims it was a business decision. Sure, David. This is so fitting with David Lee’s character—he's always doing stuff like this. And he always likes to say it was about business. I think he secretly has a heart, though.

(I don’t have much to say about this reveal since it’s familiar territory for David Lee.)

I like that Jay’s hallucination appears to him as his friend, rather than Frederick Douglass, in his last scene of the episode. I hope that is the end of the hallucination plot.

Kurt gets the news that NRA lady is going to speak up for him. He tells Diane and says “it’s amazing how close we came to disaster right then,” as they have a drink. KURT AND DIANE, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER—IT IS NOT OVER UNTIL IT’S OVER. And this? Is not over! Does anyone really think this is over!? It will be more surprising to me if NRA lady actually follows through and this all gets wrapped up than if there’s a Big Twist.

I know these writers and I know these arcs. They are meandering and full of twists and turns and add up to a complete picture that doesn’t really hold together. That’s why I’m so negative on this episode even though I’ve been positive on the arc in the past. This feels like the mid-season misdirection that it almost certainly is, and I was hoping this arc would be a little more about commentary and a little less about convoluted plot nonsense.

Diane and Kurt dancing at the end of the episode HAS to be a reference to Diane and Will’s post-victory dances, right?

#this is definitely shorter than most of my recaps because i had VERY little to say about most of the plots in this ep #the good fight #tgfthoughts

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imaginethathaikyuu · 5 years

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I'm not sure if youre okay with these kinds of requests so if you don't wanna write it its okay! And I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with it and I just don't know but, would you write a scenario about how Bokuto, Akaashi, and Iwaizumi would react to finding out their fem s/o has self harm scars? Like they're healed and she's recovered but she still has a lot of the old scars and she's insecure about them and trying to hide them from him?

of course this is a sensitive topic - but i relate to this situation all too well, so i honestly wanted to write about it. cuz yaknow, i write about my struggles, it’s kind of my thing.

*** TRIGGER WARNING *** for mentions of self harm/scars - but there are no descriptions of the act, nor any direct references to doing it. it is not graphic, there are only mentions.

please, if reading these scenarios could be triggering for you, skip out on them. just in case:

here’s a link to a happier scenario, a funnier scenario, a sweet scenario, and a long read if you just need a distraction.

i try to keep my blog a safe space, and if you’re struggling with a similar situation, i’m rooting for you. never be afraid to reach out to a friend, a family member, or even me for support.

thank you for requesting! and again, remember, i’m rooting for you. the scenarios are all under “keep reading.”

akaashi keiji

Well, you knew this would happen eventually. You had gotten out of it so many times before that you used up every excuse in the book. So by now, your friends and your boyfriend wouldn’t let you get out of it.

You had a hard time swimming - wearing a swimsuit only induced your anxieties. It felt like everyone was watching you - everyone could see the proof of you past struggles carved on your skin.

You weren’t ashamed of your scars - in fact, most of the time you forgot that you even had them. By now, you had come to terms with them.

But you couldn’t handle the probing questions that were thrown at you - rather, the possibility of the questions. You’d never let other people see them, so they couldn’t even get the chance to stare, to wonder, to judge.

While you stood in front of the mirror, wearing the swimsuit your boyfriend bought for you, you couldn’t stop thinking about the questions your friends would ask you.

What happened to you?

Why would you do that to yourself?

How’d you do it?

Why would you show those off?

You were terrified. You couldn’t handle the looks, much less the judgement.

But Akaashi was waiting outside the door, waiting for you to step out and show him your bathing suit. You were sure he was expecting to see a sight he’d like; to see a girl who was excited to spend time with him and his friends. But it was the opposite.

Still - he was the only one whose judgement you didn’t fear. And right now, you needed his support more than anything.

“Keiji,” you called, and he replied immediately.

“Yeah?”

With a towel wrapped around your body, you said, “Can you come in here?”

He opened the door slowly and greeted you with a smile, despite your teary eyes.

“I can’t go.”

“Why not? Let’s talk it out, kitten, what’s bothering you?”

You shook your head, “I just - I don’t want anyone to see.”

“I’m sure you look amazing,” he replied, his sweet smile never faltering. You appreciated it, but your nerves were still running rampid.

“Can I show you?” you asked him, holding onto the towel as if it was your lifeline.

“Yeah, of course.”

You definitely took your time taking the towel off. You wanted to warn him but you couldn’t find your voice - instead, you just let the towel fall to the ground.

He didn’t reply immediately - he looked you up and down, genuinely enjoying the sight, while you didn’t let yourself look at him.

“You look perfect,” he told you, sliding his hand into yours. “I understand why you’re hesitant, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “But they… your scars, I mean - they look fine, kitten. I’m sure none of our friends will give them a second glance.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, shaking your head. “They’re going to ask so many questions -”

“Well, if they do, just let me handle it for you, okay? And I’ll just tell them the truth,” he wrapped his arms around your waist before continuing. “That our Edward Scissorhands roleplay gets gruesome.”

Both of you laughed, immediately lifting your mood.

“Will you really tell them that?”

“I’ll tell them whatever you want me to,” he replied. “But you - you don’t have to tell them a thing. I’ll make sure you can have fun, alright?”

Without Keiji by your side, you’d never be able to even think about leaving that room wearing a swimsuit. But it’s because of him that you found the courage to do it - and you were determined to have a good time, despite your scars.

bokuto koutaro

It was so intense - Bokuto’s body felt quite heavy on top of yours, and you were feeling every inch of him. From his tongue in your mouth to your hands in his shirt to his entire lower half pressed firmly against yours - there was nothing else on your mind but him.

So much so that you couldn’t remember to tell him to turn off the light - hell, you didn’t even remember that there were things you didn’t want him to see.

It wasn’t until he had already stripped you of everything, when you felt the cool air hit your thighs, that you remembered those lines embedded on your skin - those embarrassing reminders of who you used to be.

“Koutarou -”

And usually you wouldn’t even care to let someone see them. You’ve had one night stands and it didn’t matter to you whether or not those guys saw your skin so up close. You’d wear shorts during summer and show them off to any stranger walking by - because none of those people mattered.

But the man who was hovering over you, who was kissing you and stripping you and pleasuring you, you loved him. Your entire body craved his touch, your heart yearned for his love, your soul was hell bent on being entwined with his.

Would this take him away? Would your god awful past scare him off, would your old habits come back to haunt you?

You grabbed his face and held it in place above yours and hoped he didn’t see - you were praying, as his beautiful eyes were staring at yours, that he wasn’t able to catch a glance.

But you knew. From the way his golden eyes were becoming so glossy, you could tell.

“Are those… what I think they are?”

“Koutarou…”

It was over. The love you shared with this beautiful man was going to be taken away - he finally saw you. The broken parts of you. And you were sure - no, you were positive - that someone as absolutely perfect as the man you so luckily fell in love with did not deserve someone broken and scarred and haunted.

Your hands still rested on his cheeks, and right as you were about to drop them - to let him pull away from you - his face dropped to your neck.

“Thank god,” he sighed. “I’m so happy.”

Immediately your eyebrows drew together. “What?”

“No, wait - I didn’t mean it like that! Hold on, um…”

He fumbled to pull his shorts off, trying to stand up and take off the garment at the same time. And when he successfully did those things, the only thing you saw was the outline of something big in his tight underwear - is this what he’s trying to show you?

With a deep breath he hooked his thumbs into his underwear and pulled them down, low enough to reveal his hips.

And what you saw was something you never expected to see on him.

“I was scared you’d react like my last girlfriend… and the one before that…”

Decorating his hips were messy white lines - jagged, rough, prominent. They were much like your own.

“You… you understand, don’t you?”

If you didn’t know the struggle with self harm as well as you did, you would’ve called this a heartbreaking sight. Even still, your eyes wanted to tear up.

When you nodded, he took his place hovering over you again.

“I knew you would,” he said with a smile. “I’m so glad you understand - and I understand, too. I love you - I love you so much, Y/N.”

Even after seeing that part of him, you believed he was perfect. Everything about Bokuto was perfect to you, those unfortunate scars included. And it dawned on you that it was possible - in fact, it was very likely - that he saw you in the same way.

“I love you too, Kou.”

iwaizumi hajime

“Can I… talk to you?”

“Mhm, sure,” Iwaizumi replied. He didn’t look up from the textbook he was reading, though - maybe your nerves weren’t all that evident in your voice.

So now’s your chance to back out - but if you don’t do this now, you never would.

“…Iwa?”

He heard you that time - really heard you. You could tell from the way his eyes immediately darted up to you.

The boy moved from his seat at his desk to his bed where you sat, and he made himself comfortable sitting in front of you. He tried to take your hand into his, but you quickly crossed your arms over your chest.

He realized that something may actually be wrong - he knows you guys haven’t been dating for very long, but the last month has been filled with the best days of his life because of you. And Iwaizumi was sure he hadn’t done something wrong - at least, he thought he was sure.

But rather than spiraling into his anxieties, he would much rather hear you out.

You were trying your hardest to make this a casual conversation - according to all the research you’d been doing, you decided that was the best for you. You didn’t want to make this a big deal because it wasn’t one - not to you, anyway. You hoped Hajime wouldn’t see it as a big deal, either.

So you gave him a forced smile, hoping to lighten the mood and make this feel easier for you. But it didn’t help all that much.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I just wanted to tell you about something.”

“Okay, well. Tell me.”

He sat with criss-crossed legs to mimic the way you sat, letting his hands rest on your knees.

“Take your time, baby.”

“Okay, so…”

You took a deep breath, remembering what all the articles and reddit threads said.

“So, remember, um… a few nights ago, when we were in your car and… and we were making out and then we… you know…”

“…yeah, I remember,” he replied, his face flushed. “That was okay, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded. “But… So, I know that we’ll… probably go farther, right? Like… more than just touching over our clothes?”

“Hopefully… what are you getting at, babe?”

“I just - I want to tell you now, so that you aren’t… surprised, you know, when we finally… I dunno, do more…”

How should you word this? Are you going to scare him off? Is he even going to care?

“It’s just, a while ago I was going through some things and… and I didn’t have the best way of coping with it… so I have a lot of scars. A-And I’m okay now! I don’t… do that anymore, so you shouldn’t worry - I don’t want you to worry - I’ll just… feel better if I tell you.”

“Okay… is that all you have to say, babe?”

You swallowed hard and finally mustered up the courage to look at him as you nodded.

“Okay, well… you know it’s okay, right? I don’t mind your scars or anything like that - they’re apart of you, and I like everything about you. I’m really glad you told me.”

You knew he’d be understanding - but to hear him say that made you feel so validated and comfortable.

“I’m glad I told you, too.”

#trigger warning #mentions of self harm #akaashi keiji #bokuto koutarou #iwaizumi hajime #akaashi keiji x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader

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toomicsguide · 4 years

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Toomics Cheats

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pinelife3 · 4 years

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What Women Think Men Think

In the 2000 film What Women Want, Mel Gibson accidentally electrocutes himself with a hairdryer in the bathtub which for some reason gives him the ability to hear women’s thoughts. This comes at a great time for him personally and professionally as it allows him to perform well in his job as an advertising exec, woo the lovely Helen Hunt, and bond with his estranged daughter.

youtube

Sadly, the genius of What Women Want was not recognised by critics in its time and the film received poor reviews - however, it did perform well commercially, making it a great candidate for a gender-flip remake. Our prayers were answered earlier this year with What Men Want, in which Taraji P. Henson plays a sports agent who misses out on a promotion because she doesn’t get men. Surprising no one, What Men Want received worse reviews than the original, but managed to one-up it by also being a commercial disappointment. I haven’t seen it (I hear it is genuinely unwatchable) but from Wikipedia I gather that she drinks some magic tea and then can hear men’s thoughts which... makes her good in bed but doesn’t lead to as much professional success as you might expect. While What Women Want, directed by the great Nancy Meyers, is about a chauvinist learning to respect women, What Men Want is about a woman learning that most men suck and that they don’t deserve respect so it’s better not to work for them. What Men Want was directed by a man which, if you ask me, seems kind of pandering: why would a man make a film about how cartoonishly awful men are?

The rough premise of both What X Want films is that when the protagonist has access to the inner thoughts of the opposite sex, what they hear is revelatory: the opposite sex is apparently unknowable, inscrutable, vastly foreign. It requires magic (or bathtub electrocution) to know what others really think. Ha! Well, I have that magic. A portal to another world. A world where men, unobserved, unfettered by social barriers, freely say whatever they really think of any idea, image or product you present to them: Reddit.

I’ve often complained to Matt that practically any post on Reddit which features a young and/or attractive female woman girl will draw comments from men saying that they’re going to jerk off to the picture. Why do you think we care that you’re going to mash your genitals while watching this gif of a girl in a bikini using a homemade water slide? Why did my eyes and mind have to be subjected to this information about your plans for the afternoon? Did that first improbable spark of life, apes descending from trees, straightened spines, the birth of technology, everything our forebears strived for across eternity, really lead up to this moment where you wrote that on the internet? Why are we pack animals?

So the shtick of this blog post is: I sneak about on Reddit to find out want men want, what they care about, and think about. But! We ladies don’t care what they think about beer and barbecues (we already know that all men are practically BBQsexual, am I right?) so let’s identify a few things where we do care about what they think.

For our purposes, I think women only care about men’s opinions on women - and possibly also sexual politics. For sports, most political issues, food, music, etc. I think we all agree that if you ask a man what he thinks, he’ll probably give you a pretty straight answer. The fantasy of knowing what men really want is that it’s information you would not normally have access to, because you’re too shy to ask, or you’re concerned his answer would be evasive or dishonest. Most people aren’t dishonest because they’re mean liars. They’re dishonest because they doesn’t want to hurt your feelings - or perhaps because they can’t be bothered to argue. So some of the impulse to eavesdrop on someone’s thinking is an insecurity, it’s suspecting they’ve withheld or softened an opinion - and wanting to know the full truth even if it’s hurtful.

In particular (and mostly because I want to talk to someone about these books), I’m going to pick ideas from Sally Rooney’s novels to compare romantic men as written by a woman with the actuality of men on Reddit. Rooney writes love stories (or at least love-adjacent stories) which are widely read by women and have been enormously popular: this to me suggests that her idea of romantic men has resonated with many women and therefore it may be interesting to see if the interiority of the men she’s written could exist in the real world (or, at least on Reddit).

My methodology for trawling Reddit for relevant information is simple:

1. Is the attribute mentioned in Reddit’s NSFW directory? I don’t want to solely rely on the Reddit NSFW directory as a barometer for men’s interest in things, but I believe when trying to assess what men find attractive, this is a decent tool. I would venture to say that every (legal) niche interest is addressed by a NSFW subreddit: gamer girls, women in sundresses, redheads, anime princesses, cute girls, sexy girls, skinny girls, mums, teens, big boobs (attached to women with rich interiorities, I’m sure), mascara stained tears, and so on forever. Related to this: just because a subreddit exists to address a particular niche (e.g. braces), this doesn’t mean all men find that age group, attribute, body type, piece of clothing, etc. attractive - but it at least illustrates that someone found it attractive enough to create a community dedicated to it.

2. Is the attribute mentioned in any of Ask Reddit’s 'Men, what’s one unusual thing you find really attractive about women’ type threads? Men seem to sense that these threads are always started by women, so the responses are more romantic than sexual. Dudes tend to say the ‘unusual things’ they find attractive are freckles, when women can’t reach things on high shelves, messy up-dos, etc.

Question 1: Do men like the pale, non-sexy parts of women?

In Rooney’s second book Normal People, the male protagonist spends a lot of time looking at the female protagonist and admiring her pale delicacy.

You look really well, he says.

I know. It’s classic me. I came to college and got pretty.

He starts laughing. He doesn’t even want to laugh but something about the weird dynamic between them is making him do it. ‘Classic me’ is a very Marianne thing to say, a little self-mocking, and at the same time gesturing to some mutual understanding between them, an understanding that she is special. Her dress is cut low at the front, showing her pale collarbones like two white hyphens.

Later, he admires her pale lips and wrists:

He hasn’t seen her in person since July, when she came home for her father’s Mass. Her lips look pale now and slightly chapped, and she has dark circles under her eyes. Although he takes pleasure in seeing her look good, he feels a special sympathy with her when she looks ill or her skin is bad, like when someone who’s usually very good at sports has a poor game. It makes her seem nicer somehow. She’s wearing a very elegant black blouse, her wrists look slender and white, and her hair is twisted back loosely at her neck.

Women hope men think of them in this way: that men closely observe us and like what they see, that they can thrill romantically at non-sexy parts of our bodies like our under eye bags or bony elbows, that they’re so devoted they like us even when we’re sickly. Lolita has this to thank for its enduring popularity. Sure, Humbert Humbert is a broken man and a pedophile but he’s so lyrical:

I looked and looked at her, and I knew, as clearly as I know that I will die, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth. She was only the dead-leaf echo of the nymphet from long ago - but I loved her, this Lolita, pale and polluted and big with another man's child. She could fade and wither - I didn't care. I would still go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of her face.

Men want to be him, women want to be adoringly described by him.

Anyway. Let’s check Reddit to see what men really think of pale wrists and collarbones - or if they think of them at all.

There are no communities in Reddit’s NSFW directory focused on wrists or collarbones or any bony protrusion through pale skin. There is a subreddit dedicated to NSFW content featuring pale girls with ~420,000 subscribers but the focus of this content is sexy areas of the body (enormous pale breasts, perfect pale butts, etc.) and there is not much coverage of pale wrists and/or collarbones.

I also couldn’t find any references to pale non-sexy parts of women in any AskReddit threads related to things men find attractive about women.

Conclusion: I do not believe that men as a cohort are particularly into dark under eye bags, bony chests, etc. These are just things women wish men liked about them.

Question 2: Do men like damaged women?

In Rooney’s first novel, Conversations with Friends, the protagonist has the following conversation with her ~lover~ in bed:

I want you to hit me. I don’t think I want to do that, he said. I knew that he was sitting up now, looking down at me, though I kept my eyes closed. Some people like it, I said. You mean during sex? I didn’t realise you were interested in that kind of thing. I opened my eyes then. He was frowning. Wait, are you okay? he said. Why are you crying? I’m not crying. Incidentally it turned out that I was crying. It was just something my eyes were doing while we were talking. He touched the side of my face where it was wet. I’m not crying, I said. Do you think I want to hurt you? ... I don’t know, I said. I’m just telling you that you can.

In Normal People, the protagonists have a similar exchange during sex:

Will you hit me? she says. For a few seconds she hears nothing, not even his breath. No, he says. I don’t think I want that. Sorry. She says nothing. Is that okay? he asks. She still says nothing. Do you want to stop? he says. She nods her head. She feel his weigh lift off her. She feels empty again and suddenly chill. He sits on the bed and pulls the quilt over himself. She lies there face down, not moving, unable to think of any acceptable movement. Are you okay? he says. I’m sorry I didn’t want to do that, I just think it would be weird. I mean, not weird, but... I don’t know. I don’t think it would be a good idea.

in the context of these novels, this behaviour is a form of self-harm from women who hate themselves: even those I’m closest to want to take advantage of me, will do what they want with me, will hurt me if I let them. The perfect men, confused and innocent to this self-destructive behaviour, are concerned and decline the offer. The women interpret this as a form of sexual rejection but the reader knows this rejection is actually romantic. Could we really thrill over a man who agreed to beat her? No one talks about 50 Shades of Grey anymore but Mr Darcy lingers in the minds of mothers and BBC-watching daughters the world over. Rooney’s romantic leads are very nice men for not hitting the protagonist during sex.

Importantly, while the offer of subservience and sexual violence is not an immediate aphrodisiac, it adds to the overall appeal of our lady protagonists as women who are soft, damaged, not easily available, but also deeply vulnerable. Bob Dylan muses, basically (she’s delicate and seem’s like veneer. Sidebar on that line: I heard it when I was 17 and was jealous because it’s so good. Turns out this line is hotly contested in places where people contest Dylan lyrics. One tribe thinks it’s: she’s delicate and seems like veneer. Another tribe thinks it’s: she’s delicate and seems like the mirror. The tribe which is 100% wrong thinks it’s: she’s delicate and seems like Vermeer.).

These books both have this thread of college-aged women who hate themselves and want to be mistreated by their lovers, and lovers who are perfect and sensitive enough to like the control they have in the relationship, but not abuse it. My read on this is that women like to think that men like to save damaged women. Damaged meaning women who are clearly dealing with one or more of the following:

Untreated mental health problems

Self-medication dependencies

Daddy issues

Memories of growing up with violence/abuse/Teletubbies/war crimes/poverty

Heavy baggage from previous relationships

You know what I mean. So, let’s check Reddit to see what men think of damaged women. In the NSFW directory there are a number of BDSM subs, most of which are focused on women being dominated by men: women trussed up in elaborate rigs of ropes and straps, women being used in various ways, beaten, dominated. Most of these subs have between 100,000 - 200,000+ subscribers. This would indicate that there are a decent number of Reddit users who are interested in hurting their sexual partner.

(DISCLAIMER: I don’t mean to kinkshame. ContraPoints (I think in this video) argued that while it’s fine to be into BDSM and enjoy being hurt or hurting someone else, it does suggest some things about you. BDSM isn’t just fun. No one wants to be tied up and beaten/pissed on for no reason. You want those things because it means something to you to be treated badly or to treat others badly. Liking BDSM doesn’t mean you’re damaged, but it might mean something adjacent to that.)

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Furthermore, re: Reddit’s attitude to ‘damaged’ women, any time a guy on Reddit tells a ‘crazy ex’ story, someone from the 3 brain cells club will flop out an old cliché: don’t stick your dick in crazy. Men like to warn each other about damaged women. That cliché often attracts a popular counterpoint:

Crazy chicks are good in bed! What a treat: there are perks to dating a damaged woman. More than anything, men on Reddit love acting like they know a lot about women and wild sex. A damaged, compliant woman is great for clocking up these experiences.

I think we can say that some men do indeed like damaged women. The impression you get from Reddit is that a lot of these men would take advantage of the vulnerable Rooney protagonists, but that’s the point even within the novels: the man could have said yes, could have hit her - which the reader wouldn’t find romantic because we know that on some subcutaneous level she didn’t really want to be treated that way. A lot of romance only reads as romantic because we’re aware of the unromantic alternative: what if Richard Gere had treated Julia Roberts the way most men treat prostitutes? What if Bob Dylan compared a beautiful, mysterious woman to the 17th century Dutch painter Vermeer?

In the final act of What Women Want, Gibson loses the ability to hear women’s thoughts. The point the film makes is that he’s been so reformed by hearing women’s perspectives and relating to them as actual human beings, that he doesn’t need magic anymore to behave like a nice person. This is also because it would not be romantic to be in a relationship with a man who was eavesdropping on your inner monologue. If the relationship is real and working, then you don’t need psychic powers to anticipate how the other person is going to feel and respond to things. You can always just ask - and you’ll have to trust that the answer is honest.

Bonus: more of that lovable scamp Mel Gibson:

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#What Women Want #Nancy Myers #Mel Gibson #Helen Hunt #What Men Want #Reddit

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plush-anon · 5 years

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tejoxys

I finally saw the Endgame spoilers clip

*rubbing my grubby little hands together bc I love a good roast*

Welp, if it’s a roast you want, a roast you shall receive!

(Note: I think I spoke vaguely enough about everything big in the Clips below NOT to warrant an outright Spoilers tag, so I’m leaving it with just an Endgame Leaks tag and a ‘Read More’ line. Message me if you’ve a.) seen the Clips/gone scrolling for more info in the Spoilers tag and b.) think it’s more spoilery than I try to vague it to be, and I’ll tag it post haste)

Christ Almighty, the Clips just make everything look like an enormous MESS.

Thor looks just... awful. In every scene. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE HE’S IN IN THESE SPOILERIFIC CLIPS, HE LOOKS TERRIBLE. There isn’t a single one where he doesn’t look like a mess. Everyone else gets a glow-up (new hair, tattoos, freshly shaved) and looks put together in general (which is admittedly baffling - really, EVERYONE looks good in the face of mass genocide and failure to stop it from occurring?) but Thor decided to whip out his Big Lebowski cosplay at their big ‘save the world’ get-together... why??? (seriously Thor, was a shower too much to ask for?)

Now, if we’d had ANY inclination that anyone else looked rough aside from Tony and Nebula a la the stuck-in-space teaser trailers we saw originally, that would be one thing. Everyone there lost a loved one, everyone there has probably had to come to terms with the fact that they FAILED TO STOP THANOS when they were all right freakin’ there! NO ONE SHOULD LOOK 100% OKAY HERE. Show me dishevelment, poor coping mechanisms, show them having to struggle for weeks (maybe even MONTHS) after the events.

But nope! They are ALL in perfect health according to the trailers we’ve seen before. Even Tony, after nearly dying in space multiple times, just takes a bath and appears to be in fine health after getting back (with some bags under the eyes). Everyone’s perfectly fine, except for Thor (and maaaaaybe Hawkeye, who looks to have gone full-on Frank Miller Batman in his quest for vengeance, but still had time to get a mullet and some sweet sleeve tats in between!).

Nice.

This is a MASSIVE problem with the MCU as a whole, and has been for a while: their repeated attempts to gloss over and sweep consequences of mental trauma and illness away under the rug until it suits them for plot convenience or for comedy. You see this in the Thor sequels a LOT (Selvig being institutionalized for comedy after being possessed, Loki being kept in literal solitary confinement for roughly 2 years, Valkyrie’s PTSD and alcoholism played for laughs, mocking Loki’s suicide attempt from Thor 1 and the actual death he survived in Thor 2, ALL of Odin’s outright dickishness as a parent a la narcissistic parenting, Hela being imprisoned in isolation for literal CENTURIES), as well as anything to do with Tony Stark and his thought process (everything he does is pretty much as a result of the trauma he endures, and everyone in the Avengers just??? doesn’t recognize it??? and attacks him for it without going ‘hey, maybe he’s got PTSD’ or something???? what the hell, man). GOTG does a MUCH better job of it with Rocket and Nebula, but Mantis is left woefully unrealized (thought they do touch upon it briefly, and handle it with relative seriousness).

Either way, Thor concerns me a LOT, because he is the king of a very small group of Asgardian refugees (and given the scene that shows in the Clips, as well as the appearance of another Thor character later on, we KNOW there were multiple survivors), trying to find a new life on Midgard in the face of not one, not two, but THREE fcuking tragedies - the destruction of Asgard, Thanos’ attack on their ship, and the Snap. Why is he the way he is, in the location he’s in (which actually appears to be the apartment from Team Thor’s mockumentary)? He is the only semblance of leadership left for these people who have lost everything and he’s Like That. Where is a Thor stressed and fretting over being fully responsible for once in his life over the lives of his people, over what little remains of his kingdom? Where is a Thor struggling with guilt as he tries to build a new life for his people, struggling with rule and politics and trade? WHERE IS HE??? Bc right now, all I see is Chris Hemsworth auditioning for the remake of The Big Lebowski, having wandered onto the Avengers set instead of his audition location by mistake -_-

The scenes with Steve leave me absolutely baffled (and some of them just ooze cheese, and not in a great way), because how in the fcuk do we get to those?? His scenes feel the most disjointed here, bc they all have a similar vibe to his personality in Whedon’s Avenger movies. Kind of the ‘Boy Scout’ presentation, which is particularly odd in the aftermath of the Russo Fools’ two Cap movies and Infinity Fcuk Up, which made him more serious, less - bright? I can’t think of a good word for it rn. This is particularly highlighted in his big ‘save the world’ speech we hear - it feels kind of like an ‘okay team, time to save the world!’ speech, instead of something more serious. Is it to try to bring everyone’s hopes up? What else is missing here that we’re not seeing? Why does he feel like he’s back to this persona in light of all that’s happened? Is it to highlight how good and awesome he is in order to {SPOILER REDACTED} like we see in that final sequence? (Also, the imagery for SPOILER REDACTED, while meant to be badass and awesome, feels... kind of awkward, IMHO. Which is weird, bc I thought it would be more amazing and awesome. IDK, maybe I’m just super jaded with the MCU by now).

Carol Danvers’ scenes are actually pretty on point. She gets to be a badass in her fighting scenes and gets an awesome new look that pretty much only functions to further cement her Lesbian Status. The only way she would be more obviously a Lesbian is if her suit were in the colors of (one of) the Lesbian Pride flags and a Cyndi Lauper song was playing in the background (or maybe Joan Jett).

Hulk/Bruce Banner... I don’t even know how they’re going to swing this. Like, at all. I’m particularly baffled bc given how some of the scenes appear to be set early in the film, it resolves extremely quickly to get to that point, and after all the drama of Hulk not coming out in Infinity Fcuk Up, I just - who the fcuk knows at this point. Also, that one scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} could be effective depending on how they set it up, but then... why exactly is he the one in the scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} and not Carol or Thor, due to Obvious Plot Reasons?

Finally, Peter Parker. He’s adorable in his scenes, ‘nuff said.

Now, after seeing these scenes, I am left EXTREMELY CONCERNED for this movie’s tone. Granted, it was only 5 minutes of footage for a 3 hour movie. Quite clearly, there is a LOT we aren’t seeing. All the same though, it feels extremely disjointed. I know they’re trying to pull away from the dark and grim ending of Infinity War, but these clips make it all feel a little too casual, a little too ‘let’s go beat the bad guy!’ as opposed to ‘we have suffered a great failure and a great tragedy - as heroes, we MUST work to undo this for the sake of those we have lost, and everyone left alive who has lost the people they loved’. Idk, that may just be me on this one.

But you know the worst part of all of THIS? The worst part is that this is probably what we’re going to get on the release date. This isn’t a trailer Marvel released with deleted live-action scenes featuring minimal to no CGI, or sections clumsily edited over with explosion effects - this was a slew of scenes with a TON of special effects fully rendered in painstaking detail, recorded with a phone on its side in what looks like a movie theater, with foreign subtitles on the screen (I honestly don’t recognize the alphabet, but it might be Middle Eastern). That CGI is expensive and time-consuming as all hell to do, and considering how many of these scenes had it? Either they wasted a shit-ton of money on scenes they didn’t use (seriously, a number of them have Rocket in them, or Hulk - those aren’t the easiest characters to render, I would imagine), or these are in the movie, end of story.

Not to mention, TPTB clamped down on these Clips HARD - like, IMMEDIATELY - as opposed to the process behind deleting Reddit comments. The fast and heavy response from Marvel and the Russo Fools, COMPLETE WITH OFFICIAL TWEET LETTER, along with a Chris Evans tweet not to Spoil the Shit, was to chastise the ones who did (which is somewhat warranted here, given how extreme the security on leaks for Endgame have been).

This response, combined with the quality of the clips, and some of the plot threads that actually seem to be mentioned/referenced in the Lego sets, leads me to believe it’s real.

And I’m not really impressed.

On the flipside, I’m actually kind of relieved, knowing what I’m going into when I walk into the theater opening weekend. I’m not going to be completely shocked and horrified by what I see. This works well in breaking the ice, and also eases some of my anxiety on what to expect (bc I have had a LOT of it for this movie).

The downside to this is that at the end of the day, this is what 22 films ultimately amounted to. Something that feels a little too glib, a little too rushed. Something that doesn’t feel like it’s doing right by the characters who were left, and the characters we love (at least, not in full).

I understand that this is an insurmountable task - to bring to film, with limited time, a satisfying conclusion to so many characters. To arrange hundreds of people within thousands of hours on a set budget to bring this massive story, building for over ten years now, to a close that will resonate and sate with as many fans as possible. But I read fanfiction that does just that with less time, fewer moments, no budget - hell, there are 10k oneshots that rewrote Infinity Fcuk to make sense and treat the characters with the respect that they’ve earned over 20+ films.

This? Doesn’t feel like those.

I will happily admit, I am guesstimating a LOT here, based off of what essentially amounts to 3% of the movie (slightly more, depending on how long the credits are sans post-credit scenes, but still roughly 3%). There is a LOT that is missing, which could fill in these gaps successfully and make this whole post look completely pointless. If it does that, I will gleefully concede that it fooled us on this one. Maybe all of these scenes really ARE hoaxes (even if they were painstakingly subtitled in a foreign language and shown on a movie theater-size screen, but I digress).

But the framing of the scenes looks like it was meant to showcase what the movie would be as a whole, in terms of tone and what to expect. And from that, I’m not excited, or overjoyed. I’m just tired.

And I cannot WAIT for this all to be over, bc I’m fcuking exhausted just watching 5 minutes. Lord knows what 182 of them will leave me like in the end.

*peers up at massive unending ranty analysis post* ...ah. Well then. that happened again. Ah well. Hope you had fun reading my nonsense brain goop, kiddos.

#tejoxys #avengers endgame #endgame leaks #analysis #plush rants #kind of #i am so tired #long post #if anyone wants to watch the Clips #i found a tumblr link that still has the video #dm me and i'll send it your way #normally i can actually guess a movie plot pretty damn well #i laid out both httyd2 and the good place's plots out just based off of trailers right off the bat #but this time? i REAAAAAAALLY hope i'm wrong #the only good part of this is that loki hasn't popped up in the Clips #also a bad part bc i Want To Know dammit #but after seeing thor here? it's a relief like no other

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crypticnala · 6 years

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r/supdating

Erumike supernatural week!

Day 1: Vampires and Werewolves

Summary: In Erwin long life he had seen many things. He wasn't really surprised by anything anymore. Sure, he still felt fascination and wonder. But nothing like having your breath taken away. And yet...

Rating : T Warning : No warning applies Wordcount : 1k6

Read on ao3 here or under the cut!

2018 - City Unknown

I clicked on the small round red icon with a white robot on it and soon enough was redirected to the home page of reddit. The small red envelope on top let me knew that I had one message to read, but I set it aside, preferring to browse the "best" of the subs I was following. Five minutes later, and a little deeper than where I was at the beginning, I couldn't take it anymore. That little red icon kept calling me, the bright color always in the corner of my vision, in the corner of my mind. I knew who it was. It could only be him, and the thought both filled me with excitation and dread. I ignored it for three threads before giving in. Sighing, I clicked on the inbox button. And as expected, there is was, the only message in my unread box. Mikemotor had answered. You would ask "What the hell is a vampire doing on reddit?" And I would answer with "Well, everyone needs to pass the time, especially vampires who have copious amount of it on their hands". So yes, this is how I found myself on reddit, wasting hours and hours away on popular and not so popular subs. What had brought me here first was my interest in modern mechanics and more particularly in mechanical transports. Cars, buses, trains, planes, motorcycle… It was so fascinating the way humans found new ideas to move themselves! Hell, I was as excited as a child when the overboard got out! And yes, I did buy one. And also, yes, I did fall and then kept the damn thing in my closet never to be brought out again. But it had been fun. So, in my constant search for more information about these moving vehicles that did not involves any animal of any kind, I stumbled upon the website reddit and decided it was good enough to feed me information that I was seeking. The community aspect was also what drew me to it. You actually interacted with other people, and for a vampire as old as me, it was something I was always searching. Interacting with other humans, it helped me stay in touch with the real world, helped learn the slangs, the new trends… It was the best way for me to try to keep an ounce of humanity. It was hard trying to keep up when you could only come out at night. And even if I could come out during the day, the truth was, after years of being a vampire, there was this impassable barrier that kept you from the humans. You sought them out when you needed them, but socializing? God forbid.

So I took what I could and lived on social interaction through a screen with stranger. And this is how I met u/mikemotor. It had started with small interactions, I saw him make a comment on r/MotorcyclePorn, and then on r/Motorcycle and then on every subs that I had a relation by far or not with motorcycles. I had first responded to one of his comments on one sub, then on another sub, and before I knew it, we were following each other and started a private conversation about whether one should go Italian or Japanese when choosing a racing motorcycle. But that was two five hundred messages ago. I had learned quite a few things about him, his name was Mike (big surprise there), he was a mechanic working in a garage that specialized in motorcycles (which explained all the motorcycle subs he was on), he was 34, was an only child, liked old and classic rock though he rarely went to concert or festival, liked spicy food (that one was very interesting as people eating a lot of spicy food had… interesting blood), and a surprise encounter on a gay nsfw sub let me knew what was Mike's sexuality and that he took working out very seriously and was what the gay community would label as "a wolf". We both learned that we lived in the same city, and it was only a matter of time before one of us asked to meet "irl". The day was tomorrow night. Mike had asked if I fancied having a beer with him, and while I told him I did not drink beer (I did not drink except blood really) I agreed to meet him after sundown. The message he had just sent me was to confirm the time and place. I replied shortly, telling it was fine on my end. I closed the computer, rubbing my eyes, it was an old habit very humanlike that I had actually never gotten rid of. I never needed to actually rub my eyes. Musing about our meeting of tomorrow I closed the computer and went about my night. As I lay in my bed, getting ready to sleep for the day, I couldn't help the small flutter of nerve that buzzed in my stomach. That was new, and I for one, did not dislike it. I glanced around the street, crossing when there was a pause in traffic, heading to the pub on the other side. The Beacon red in green letter above the door of the bar. It wasn't a fancy or too modern bar like you found in the city center. This one was in a discreet street, the front in warm brown wood, the dark green letters on it giving a comforting vibe. The music inside was good, the people there nice, the drink (from what I gathered) where good, everything inside was comfy and clean. Said like that, it was a perfect bar. Little did people know, The Beacon was also a "mixed" bar, like the community liked to call them. And I'm speaking about the general supernatural community. The bar was owned by a couple of demons, and contrary to some more selective club that used witchcraft to keep humans at bay, The Beacon welcomed everyone. Now, did Mike knew that? Or was he just a normal human that had stumbled upon this gem and decided it would be a good place for a first date. I mean, first meeting an "irl" friend. I shrugged the slight discomfort that had settled in my stomach and opened the door. Immediately the noise and the smell were too much for me. Cons of being a vampire with super sensitive sense. Still in the entrance, I tried to get my bearing. Relaxing, I searched through the crowd for Mike. He had told me he would be wearing a black leather jacket, but really, how many people wore leather jacket to go out? That's right, a shit ton. Apprehension growing, I scanned the crow once more, trying to find something, picking up leather jackets man before setting them aside, and then, there, at the back, sitting alone at a table, I saw him. I would have recognized the built and the presence everywhere. Strong arms, large chest, long brown hair, and eyes so dark they almost seemed black in the dimmed light. Something dropped, setting heavy in the pit of my stomach. I made my way to Mike, keeping my eyes on him, soon enough he shifted and looked up my way. His gazed fixed mine, and there, just now it came, his eyes widened in realization. I stopped in front of the table and looking him up and down. For a wolf, Mike was a damn wolf. As in, a fucking werewolf. I opened my mouth to speak, not even knowing what was going to come out, before Mike’s guffaw interrupted me. "You must be Erwin, I'm Mike" he stood, extending a hand, "it's a surprise, but I can't say I'm mad.", we shook hand, and I belatedly noticed that my body had decided to act on its own accord. I nodded to him, hand still clapped together. When they had first touched, the deep feeling in my stomach had stirred, filling from my head to my toes with warmth. Mike's hand still in mine, I stared at him, that feeling, that warm feeling, I knew it. It was the feeling that I knew this man. I was familiar with this hand, with this half smile, with that twinkle in his eyes. I knew him. And as sure as I knew him, I also knew that this was the first time I was seeing this man in my entire life. "Mike," I finally took my hand away, not sure how to respond to this new development. Mike smiled back, but it was strained, like something was also on his mind. His eyes went unfocused a short time before fixing on me again. "Erwin", he sat down, gesturing to the seat in front of him for me to sit too, "I'd offer you something to drink, but I guess you wouldn't be quite pleased with what they have on the menu here". I sat, smiling faintly, still trying to figure out how to go from there. We sat, staring at each other, not saying a word. A damn werewolf. Mike was probably thinking the same thing, trying to figure out how in hell had he befriended a damn vampire. I cleared my throat, trying to find something to say. "So you come here often?" I heard my mouth utter the word, while my brain was simultaneously screaming at me to shut it. All those years living, all the beauty of poetry, romance, music I lived through, and all I could say was that awful pickup line? But Mike laughed, his eyes crinkling, and once again that warm feeling washed all over me. "Come on, I'll go get something to drink, we'll talk and who knows, maybe you will get something to drink later tonight", he said standing up. He winked at me before disappearing in the crowd. Oh hell. You might as well enjoy your night, you old bat.

#erumikesuper2k18 #erumikeweek #erumike #erwin smith #mike zacharias #day 1 : vampires and werewolves #my fic

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maevefiction · 5 years

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 44

Blind rage washed over me, and my first instinct was to grab Luke’s phone and throw it off the balcony, as if doing so would make everything associated with it disappear as well. I could feel my eyes darting back and forth as my thoughts tried to force their way through the dense red fog, and out of the corner of my left one I caught sight of Tom falling backward into the wall, his knees buckling beneath him, and I realized that this, this singular moment in time…this was one of his greatest fears becoming reality. The anger drained from me, starting at the crown of my head and continuing until it reached the tips of my toes, quickly vanquished, and all of my focus turned to Tom, to reassuring him that everything was going to be fine. We had a plan, we were as ready as anyone could ever be, and we’d face it all, and handle it all, together.

Turning to him, I placed my hands on his shoulders and met his gaze. His pupils were dilated, his breathing much more rapid than normal. I spoke slowly and, I hoped, calmly.

“Babe. Relax. We’ve got this. It’s okay.”

He shook his head, breaking eye contact. “I don’t have this…I don’t think I have this…”

I moved my hands from his shoulders to either side of his head and forced him to look at me. “You know what? That’s okay. You don’t need to have this. Because I’ve got this. I’ve got it for both of us. I’ve got it, and I’ve got you, and it’s okay. Full steam ahead, remember?”

He bit his lip and inhaled deeply, then exhaled, voice shaky but strong. “Nothing’s going to stop this train. I liked it, and I’m gonna put a ring on it.”

I nodded. “And wow am I regretting what I said on the plane right about now…”

Tom reached out and ran his index finger down the left side of my face, stroking slowly along my cheek, then my jaw. “Perhaps you’re a bit psychic.”

“Did you mean a bit…psychotic? Because that seems more plausible.”

He smiled, which indicated that I was free to take action. I turned back to Luke.

“Okay, assuming you’ve read the full article, what’s her angle here?”

Luke frowned, nodding. “She’s framing it as Tom bought her silence in order to maintain his impeccable reputation and avoid damage to his career but she now regrets ‘covering up for him’ and says ‘it’s time everyone knew what kind of person he truly is’. Her words.”

“Fucking seriously? That’s what she went with?”

“Correct. It first appeared on a Reddit thread she started, entitled ‘The Real Tom Hiddleston’, with links to the videos hosted at a website with an url that corresponds to the thread title. The timeframe when they were made is unspecified, so there has been speculation that infidelity may be involved, especially since she’s chosen to release them the day before the wedding. And…”

Tom interjected, his voice now strong and dripping with venom, fueled by righteous indignation. “Well of COURSE that’s exactly what she’d go with. And that will probably be the next shitstorm to hit the media, right, Luke? That I cheated on Maude? That’s what you were going to say, isn’t it?”

Sighing, Luke glanced down at the floor, then back up at Tom. “It’s a possibility we should prepare for, yes. Believe me, I wish it wasn’t.”

Tom stepped forward and hugged him. “I’m sorry, man. You know that wasn’t really meant for you. I’m just…I…very, very sorry.”

Luke patted his back gently. “I know. And I’m sorry. This is…it’s awful.”

I left them embracing and walked to the desk, powering up my laptop as I sat down. They both turned their head in my direction, and I stared back. “What?”

Tom released Luke and walked to my side, resting one hand on my shoulder. “Are you…are you alright?”

Shrugging, I looked up at him. “Hell no.” He bit his lip, and I smirked. “But I’m going to channel everything I’m feeling into doing what I do best. It’s showtime, baby. And I am going to CRUSH. HER.”

Luke joined us, stone-faced as he struggled to keep his anger in check.

“Maude, you shouldn’t have to do this. Not now. You shouldn’t.”

Having to maintain some modicum of professionalism in the midst of something that was so deeply personal was a hazard that came with representing friends and family, and despite us having a plan in place, we had known all along that an incident of this scale simply had to be handled by one of us. Our junior agents, though very skilled, weren’t yet ready for the scope of…well, a scandal. That’s what this had turned out to be, really. An out-and-out scandal. And we also knew that though Luke had an important part to play, I was the one that had to be cast in the leading role.

I shrugged again. “Ideally, no. I shouldn’t. But also ideally, I’ve been down this road before with other clients and know the ropes. You…haven’t and don’t. So it’s just got to be me. Pull up a chair or sit on the desk, fellas. The clock is ticking, and we need to hustle.”

Luke dragged one of the wing-backs over and sat facing me, Tom opted to squat down at my side. I took a deep breath, then began.

“Okay. I considered addressing all our guests first, but I think that ship may have sailed…and we really can’t spare the time to do it properly now. So we’ll save explanations for after if they’re needed. Luke, I know we planned on distributing press releases immediately, but let’s hold off.”

His left eyebrow rose, then both brows furrowed as he pondered what other avenue we could possibly utilize. “I want to question that, but intuition tells me to zip it and listen up.”

“Wise choice, sir.” He chuckled, as did I. “Here’s what I want you to do…talk to the business reservations manager, tell her we need a conference room or some other indoor space for 9 AM. It shouldn’t be a problem because they didn’t book any other events this week other than ours. Once you have a location, go outside. I’m sure the media coverage has multiplied by a factor of ten this morning…advise each and every outlet that we’ll be holding a closed press conference at 9:10.”

Neither of them commented, though Tom swallowed hard and Luke’s lips were pressed together with such force they’d lost their typical pinkish hue.

“Yes, I’m aware that sounds terrifying. But. BUT. It’s really a golden opportunity. Instead of just written statements, we’ll be able to speak, and there will be video and stills. They’ll have an opportunity to ask questions, so we can dispel rumors immediately. And, I’m going to give them an incentive. If, and only if, they run the story within an hour after the close of the conference and agree to leave us alone for the rest of today and all day tomorrow, they’ll be admitted to a fifteen minute post-ceremony, pre-reception photo opportunity. Just the two of us, in a location to be determined.” I turned to Tom. “If you’re okay with us pimping ourselves out on our wedding day, that is.”

“If you think it will afford us and our guests’ privacy and peace, yes, I am.”

“They’ll be getting two exclusives, and I’ll throw in that we won’t post anything to social media until the weekend, so that should seal the deal.” I frowned. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not something either of us would typically consider doing…”

He stood up, then sat on the desk next to my laptop, taking my hand in his and then kissing it. “Don’t you dare apologize, not for any of this. All the fault is mine, Maude. Thank you for finding us a way through this.”

I squeezed his hand. “You’re welcome.” Shifting in my seat, I rotated to face Luke. “I’ve got all the documents I need, so I’m going to start uploading them. Will you go hit the press? Not, like, hit them hit them. Not yet, anyway. You know what I mean. I’ll go over everything with Tom that he needs to cover in the interim. I think I just want you do corral the media and get their info, do the briefing, then introduce Tom, if that works.”

Luke nodded, rising to his feet quickly. “It does. I’ll go see what we’re dealing with so I can give you an idea of what to expect. Be back as soon as I can.”

As the door closed Tom released my hand, stood up once again, then walked around the desk and eased into the wingback next to me. A small smile appeared across his face, but the shine to his eyes told a different story…Tom’s default reaction to being afraid. Tears. I leaned forward, placing my hands on his knees as I met his gaze.

“All you’re going to have to do is read what I write for you. We’re going to do that right now, together. Your side, the facts. You will NOT be taking any questions. You finish your statement, and then I take over. That’s all. I know it’s awful, but it’s going to be okay. I’ll be right by your side the entire time.”

He bit his lip, eyes turning downward to stare at the pattern on the carpet for a good thirty seconds, breathing slowly in an effort to calm down. Finally, his eyes returned to mine and he nodded. “Okay. Thank you. You’ll be there, I can do this. I can do this.”

I stood, then bent forward to embrace him. He buried his face in my neck, and we remained as such, silently connecting, until I forced myself to let go and get to work. We’d been given a chance to get out ahead of this, and I couldn’t let it slip through my fingers, no matter how much I just wanted to hold him until everything else just faded away.

***************************************

Tom and I stood outside the Chart Room, waiting for everyone to be seated. At least 30 outlets were expected, and Luke had chosen this particular space not just for its square footage…it possessed two entrances, one of them on the main hotel drive, the other from inside the hotel itself, which made it possible to allow the press access to us, but not the hotel or its guests. The door we’d be entering was closed, and would remain so until Luke texted us before he began to speak to the crowd. I was wearing a black cotton tank dress, and Tom had donned black jeans and a long-sleeved white button down. When preparing his statement, I remembered what he’d said back in March in LA when confronting Claudia and sought the recording I’d made to transcribe it. That, along with a few additions, made for a brief but impactful description of what had actually occurred…and, unlike Claudia’s version, we had proof to back it up. My phone dinged, and I looked up at Tom, took a deep breath and opened the door. We walked slowly toward the podium as Luke greeted the media and walked them through what to expect.

“Welcome. Please pause or stop any recording devices you have active at this time.” He waited for thirty seconds, then resumed. “I expect all of you to conduct yourselves in a professional manner and to refrain from interrupting prior to the question and answer portion of the conference. As we discussed earlier, this is a closed press conference, which means you may not broadcast any material live. While I accept that you may choose otherwise, I’d like to encourage you to be respectful to both Mr. Hiddleston and Ms. Gallagher when publishing articles relating to the situation at hand. Mr. Hiddleston will be making a statement, then Ms. Gallager, Prosper’s Social Media Director, will provide you with additional details pertaining to the matter. She will also be answering your questions. You are permitted to record and publish material from only Mr. Hiddleston’s statement, Ms. Gallagher’s formal statement, and the Q & A. There will be an off the record briefing prior to Ms. Gallagher’s formal statement, and she will advise you when you may resume recording.” He turned his head toward us, then stepped back, waving Tom in to take his place.

Tom felt uncomfortable with the idea reading what he planned to say, so he’d spent an hour memorizing it, though I’d insisted he bring my tablet along with the text readily available just in case. He set it down on the podium, adjusted the microphone, cleared this throat, and began.

“Good morning. Thank you for being here on such short notice. I very much appreciate your willingness to listen to my perspective and allow me to address the claims Ms. Heidrich has made. I met Ms. Heidrich towards the end of 2014. She was an extra on the set of I Saw the Light, and shortly after the director opted to cast her in a minor role, we began a sexual relationship. During filming, we did frequent sex clubs and engaged in what would certainly be considered non-traditional activities with other consenting adults. Ms. Heidrich and I also hosted other couples with similar interests privately, typically in my hotel room. Once the shoot ended, I travelled back to California with her, where we continued our sexual relationship until I discovered that she had been recording video and audio of our encounters with neither my knowledge nor permission. At that time, I made it abundantly clear that her having done so eroded all trust between us and as a result I no longer wished to be involved with her in any capacity. She expressed regret and, for the first time, indicated her perception of our relationship was that we were romantically involved, which differed from my own. I explained that regardless of how either of us felt, my decision to separate stood and I asked her to leave my hotel room. After her departure, I opted to return to London immediately, and before my plane even landed Ms. Heidrich had begun to harass me via phone and text messages. When I did not reply to those messages, they escalated from excuses and apologies to threats. She threatened to provide a detailed account of our interactions to my family and friends, she threatened to publish all of the videos she’d made online, and she threatened to ruin my career and make my life a living hell. It was at that point when I realized I’d found myself in a situation I wasn’t equipped to handle on my own and alerted my PR team, who called in legal representation. In an effort to stop the harassment, as well as to protect my family, my friends, and the various studios and organizations I represent and am associated with from the negative attention and potential loss of income that often results from the public revelation of personal, private matters, my team suggested that I enter into a non-disclosure agreement with Ms. Heidrich, and I willingly consented to doing so. I had neither seen nor heard from her until March of this year, when she attended the after party of the I Saw the Light Los Angeles premiere. Ms. Heidrich, without invitation, joined me on stage during a musical performance, and when the song finished she kissed me on the lips in front of my friends, colleagues and my fiancée. She then handed me a key to her hotel room and invited both me and my fiancée to join her for a tryst. It was, as you’d expect, mortifying, and though it was difficult to maintain any degree of professionalism, we managed to exit the party shortly after Ms. Heidrich did without drawing any undue attention to ourselves. I decided to use the opportunity to confront her face to face, so, with Ms. Gallagher as my witness, I did just that. I reiterated what I’d said to her when we initially parted ways, then told her in no uncertain terms that she was to never approach me in public or private ever again, and that if she did, I’d file a restraining order against her. Her response was to bring up the videos she’d made, first threatening that she’d publish them to embarrass my fiancée, whom she thought was not aware of their existence. When it was revealed that wasn’t the case, she then indicated that she would indeed publish them anyway. After Ms. Gallagher explained the actions that would be taken if any material was published, Ms. Heidrich responded by claiming she’d take action of her own, but when informed evidence existed which would prevent her from being victorious in that particular endeavor, she threw a highball glass at Ms. Gallagher. The object would have without a doubt hit her in the face if I had not pulled her out of the way. We then exited and returned to our own room, and decided to hope for the best…that Ms. Heidrich would finally move on. Today’s development is far from that ‘best’ we were hoping for, though not entirely unexpected. The timing is obviously intended to do the most harm…but rest assured it will not interfere in any way with our upcoming nuptials.”

I sighed, grateful that he’d made it all the way through, with the exception of the closing where he’d turn things over to me. A few seconds passed, and I thought he’d froze, but as he cleared his throat I sighed once more in relief.

“As a public figure, I have the opportunity to speak to a wider audience, and in this moment, I feel compelled to use my voice to draw attention to something that affects so many all around the world. Though I wasn’t aware of it at the time, during the second half of 2014 I was exhibiting symptoms of clinical depression, and I began self-medicating with alcohol to the point where I’d frequently black out. The behavior I exhibited during that time period was not typical, for me or of me. I don’t say that as an excuse, because I take full responsibility for my actions. I say it because I wish I’d been more informed about the symptoms of depression, I wish I hadn’t dismissed my feelings, and, most of all, I wish I had sought the help I needed sooner as opposed to later. There’s a stigma, a shame, still linked to any type of mental illness…one I didn’t even know I held fast to within myself. My own ignorance had a significant impact on my life, and what I wish to say is…if you’re feeling overwhelmed, less-than, grief-stricken, lost, angry, alone, anything that’s so powerful that it hinders you, who you are, who you try to be…tell someone. Make the call. Make an appointment. Get the help you need. There should be no shame in it…if you injured your body, you’d go to A&E. If your mind, your soul is injured…they deserve the same care and healing, do they not? Therapy helped bring me back from a very dark place, and taught me how to solve problems instead of trying to avoid them, or bury them. Without it, I don’t think I’d be here today, standing in front of you, about to stand tomorrow before gods and humanity and declare my undying love for and celebrate my commitment to the most amazing human being I’ve ever been blessed to encounter in this life.” He wiped away a tear from his cheek. “It’s okay to ask for help. It’s something we all need at some point in our lives, and it’s nothing anyone should ever be embarrassed by, or ashamed of. Thank you, again, for being here.”

He left my tablet at the podium as I’d requested, turning toward me, and it took everything I had to not break protocol and embrace him. Instead, I met his gaze and mouthed the words ‘I love you’ as he brushed against me on his way to Luke, and then both of them exited via the side door we’d entered by. We’d agreed he wouldn’t stick around for the rest, not only for his sake, but for mine as well. I needed to be in full on don’t fuck with this bitch mode, which would have likely been impossible if I knew he was there listening, and hurting. I stepped behind the podium, clicked my tablet out of sleep mode, and saw that Tom had used a drawing app to scrawl a note for me.

Your words are your scepter. They will all kneel before you. I love you. – T

I was unable to suppress my grin, so I used it as an ice-breaker.

“Man, I don’t recall sending any of you an invitation. This might be a Guinness world record for the most crashers at a single wedding.” They laughed, and I could feel that switch within me flip. “Before you begin barraging me with ridiculously intrusive questions, we’re going to play let’s make a deal. Ready? Here’s the deal. If, and only if, you run with this story within an hour after I’m done speaking AND you agree to leave us – Tom, me, our guests, the hotel staff, everyone involved – alone for the rest of today and all day tomorrow, you will be admitted to a fifteen minute photo and video session with Tom and me immediately after the ceremony and prior to the reception. The location will be emailed to you upon confirmation that the story was published before the deadline. And trust me, I’m going to check. Repeatedly. Because I want this everywhere. Like, right now. I’ll be sharing our path forward, I have information and supporting documentation and other goodies all of which only be available to YOU for distribution. Granted, there are a lot of you…but wow, what an incentive to be the, you know, first, am I right?”

More laughter, which I silenced by holding up my right hand briefly. “Don’t get too excited, because I’m not saying another word until you agree to the terms. Get this story out there within an hour, leave us in peace for the rest of today and all day tomorrow, and you get exclusive wedding couple coverage. We’re even going to hold off on posting to social media accounts until the weekend. So. If you don’t agree, please exit immediately. Remaining will be considered consent, and allow me to reiterate that I. WILL. BE. WATCHING. YOU. Also, permission is now granted to resume recording.”

I counted to thirty, and everyone remained right where they were, fiddling with their devices. “Mr. Hiddleston provided you with a brief summary of his relationship with Ms. Hedrich, and at this time I’d like to expand upon several points as they relate directly to our intentions in regard to her actions. It’s important to note that Mr. Hiddleston entered into an NDA with Ms. Heidrich on the advice of his PR and legal representation, and that his concern was not for himself, but instead for those around him. His team, though, was absolutely concerned about him…not only his reputation, which they were hired to protect, but for his safety and emotional well-being. Not only had he just discovered that his privacy had been violated by someone he trusted, he was in the midst of enduring a campaign of harassment and threats as a result of ceasing contact with the violator. Over the course of three days, Ms. Heidrich sent numerous text messages and called his cell phone two-hundred and sixteen times, leaving fifty three messages, each more bizarre than the last. She threatened to kill herself, contact his family, and publish the videos she’d filmed without his knowledge or consent on the internet. Mr. Hiddleston has in his possession the phone he’d been using during this time, on which all voicemails and texts remain in their original, unaltered state. I’ve captured screenshots and audio of a few, which you’ll be able to access with a link contained in an email you’ll be sent at the end of this conference.”

That got their attention like nothing else had as yet, and the room began buzzing with indecipherable murmuring, and I could feel myself begin to feed off their energy as I continued.

“You will also be able to access the non-disclosure agreement itself, which is obviously no longer valid as Ms. Heidrich has violated the terms contained within it. Quite spectacularly, if I may add. And, as you’ll soon see in the draft copies I’ve included for your perusal, she refused to sign on the dotted line until the settlement sum reached one million dollars.” Gasps and low whistles replaced the murmurs.

“Which brings me to…what’s next. Unfortunately, Mr. Hiddleston’s legal representation back in 2014 was not aware that what Ms. Heidrich was threatening to do was considered revenge porn, which is against the law in California and Louisiana, the states in which the videos were filmed. Had that not been the case, Mr. Hiddleston would likely not have had to enter into an NDA, nor paid out any sum in order to keep Ms. Heidrich in check, as the threat of jail time is often incredibly persuasive in and of itself. Now that she’s published the material she was contractually obligated to NOT publish, we will take action against her. In fact, this process has already begun. The hosting service she chose to use has taken down the website she created and moved all the content that was uploaded to a secure server. By their count, said content consists of 37 mp4 files. Reddit has agreed to remove the thread she opened after they’ve completed archiving all the posts and replies. Data from both will be retained for later use, as Mr. Hiddleston has opted to pursue criminal charges against Ms. Heidrich under both the revenge porn and invasion of privacy statues, and to file a civil suit as well for breach of contract. Be advised that the terms of the NDA were very clear and that Ms. Heidrich is now required to return the settlement compensation she received. All monies received by Mr. Hiddleston as restitution will be donated to a charity of his choosing. We anticipate having everything in motion by the end of next week.”

I paused, scanning the room, gauging whether or not I should ‘go personal’ again, as I had during my let’s make a deal segment. I knew they wanted me to…they always want that, the realness, evidence of emotional investment and, hopefully, pain. It’s what generates the most clicks. And then I remembered what Tom had written…and personal went right out the fucking window and I dove headfirst in the fray.

“Okay. Questions. Try to be concise so we can fit as many in as possible. One per outlet maximum. And when I say done, we’re done.” Hands rose in a wave. “Daily Mail. You’re at the top of my naughty list today, so let’s get your query out of the way first.”

There was snickering, but the woman stood, undeterred. “How long have you known about the videos? Have you watched them?”

I gave her the Frank Underwood sipping a beverage glare of disgust. “That’s two questions. Next time put an ‘and’ in between them and perhaps your inability to follow the rules won’t be quite as obvious. Tom and I first discussed his relationship with Claudia a few weeks after we met. And no, I haven’t watched them. Have you?”

Her cheeks reddened as she sat down quickly. Ah, another opportunity for a Loki-esque smirk.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then. TMZ, go.”

A man with long dark hair in a well-worn Ramones shirt rose quickly from his chair. “Ms. Heidrich mentioned the premiere and hotel meeting on the Reddit thread, and according to her she and Tom spent the night together…you were all staying at the same property, and he went upstairs to her suite after you fell asleep, then snuck back in before you woke. AKA, he cheated on you and you had no clue. Tom’s version of events is completely different. Which one is the truth?”

“There’s a reason why Tom didn’t go up to her hotel room alone…and it’s precisely because it was a perfect set up. Cameras all over the property, right outside the room to get him coming and going but leaving everything in between up in the air in order to craft a he-said, she-said scenario to which there’d be no concrete resolution. Which is why I recorded audio of the exchange in its entirety on my phone and, during the checkout process back in March, requested that the hotel retain a full 24 hours of surveillance covering both our room entrance as well as Claudia’s. Oh, right. I didn’t answer your question. Sorry. Tom’s version is the truth. Next, Sun.”

“Maria Fontaine, Ms. Gallagher. So you’re saying a recording of the exchange exists…will you be releasing that?” Her dark blonde eyebrows rose above the black rectangular frames of her glasses.

“I hadn’t planned on it, but the file just needs to be uploaded to the location of all the rest of the materials available to you. So, yes.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and held it up. “The original is still right here, safe and sound and timestamped.”

As I slipped it back in, a stringer from the Hollywood Reporter, one I recognized from previous conferences, jumped up and blurted out his question. “Was Ms. Heidrich made aware that you were recording her?”

I snorted. “I’m going to have to subtract a hundred points for not waiting your turn but wow, you’re quick on the uptake today, Cody. No. She was not made aware that she was being recorded. Yes, California is a two party state and I fully understand that I may be subject to criminal and civil penalties as a result of my negligence to do so. E! News, you’re up.”

Rising slowly from her seat and smoothing her black and white chevron printed dress along the way, a woman with black hair to her waist and dark red lipstick titled her head at me as she placed one hand on her hip. “Since you haven’t seen them, how can you be sure that none of the videos were filmed after you met Tom? Maybe he was actually cheating with her, if not that night in LA, then some other time?”

That took my mind in an unpleasant direction, even though I knew there wasn’t a shred of truth to it. “Well, the best way to analyze them is by evaluating his hair style, coloring, and body type. In order to play the role of Hank, Tom lost a significant amount of weight and dyed his hair dark brown. We met in June of 2015, right after he completed filming for the Night Manager, for which he bulked up, adding a great deal of muscle mass and definition. His hair was also shorter, and lighter. The difference should be glaringly apparent.” From the look on red lipstick’s face, I could tell she was super disappointed that her question hadn’t pushed me over the edge and into boo-hoo personal territory, but it did make me reflect on the very first question I’d received. The fact began to sink in that though I hadn’t seen the videos, a vast number of people HAD viewed them, and would continue to do so unto perpetuity now that they were in the wild. Folks everywhere were watching my very soon to be husband having sex. With people who weren’t me. Seeing him in the most intimate situations possible, receiving a torrid glimpse into what likely happened when he and I were behind closed doors. And probably getting off on it. My heart began to pound and I was accosted by a mild wave of nausea, at which point I knew I needed to shut the conference down, and quickly.

“Two more questions. Hollywood Life, your turn.” I was stunned they had a body present…their normal modus operandi was to make shit up. Said body was female, and, if I had to guess, an intern. Her gum cracked as she spoke.

“Aren’t you concerned about being with someone who’s had so many sex partners? Has Tom been treated for any STIs?”

Resisting the urge to flip her off was tantamount to not scratching a bug bite. “Ah, there are the ridiculously intrusive questions I was waiting for. Also, are you serious right now? Neither of those are anyone’s business. Take that judgmental bullshit down the road. And if I see you’ve printed anything at all about either, now or somewhere down the line, you’ll be hearing from me. You may think that’s preferable to hearing from my attorney, but trust me…it isn’t.” Her eyes were huge, and she sat down in slow motion.

“Last question. Radar Online.”

Their reporter hadn’t even bothered to take of his sunglasses. “Will the wedding be postponed?”

I leaned forward, jaw having dropped open at his idiocy…but, thankfully, I realized only Tom had addressed that particular issue on the record and this dude wanted something from my lips he could actually use. “The wedding will proceed as planned, and we’re going to relax and enjoy ourselves with our friends and family. Like people who fall in love and get married do every day all over the globe. But with more Marvel character actors. Probably. Thanks for coming, everyone. Emails should be sent out within the next fifteen minutes for you.”

There were shouts, which I ignored as I grabbed my tablet and headed for the side door. Blocking my path was a man about my age, maybe a little older, perhaps mid-40’s, wearing a black t-shirt, chili-pepper print Bermuda shorts and black plastic flip-flops. His hair was light brown, up in a bun, and he sported a goatee flecked with grey. My stomach was roiling, and I was just about to shove him when I thought better of it, using my words instead.

“Can I help you with something?”

He smiled sheepishly. “Listen, I know you just want to jet and I’m really sorry to bother you, but I freelance for a lot of outlets, some of which are actually, you know, reputable. The New York Times has been asking me to do a story on something tech within the entertainment industry, and I was wondering if you’d agree to sitting down for an interview about your app. I saw it on someone’s phone last week, and downloaded it myself, and it’s incredible. Like, life changing incredible. Your marketing has been targeted mainly at studios and actors and PR, but it should be wider. Way wider. I’m Chad Morrison. Here’s my card, call me if you’re interested when things settle down. Best wishes to you and Tom.”

I accepted the shiny paper rectangle, trying my best to not puke on his feet. “Wow, thank you. I will. Thanks again.”

He stepped aside and I hurried out into the hall, passed by Tom and Luke, and darted to the restroom just down the corridor. I could hear Tom calling my name, but I was too preoccupied with barfing into the sink to answer. The door creaked open as I was on heave number five, nothing coming up by then other than what I was sure would be my innards. I saw his reflection in the mirror, and he gathered my hair into one hand, holding it back from my face, then began to rub my back gently with the other. I heaved twice more, and…that was that. Tom passed me a stack of paper towels, and I washed my hands and face, then turned around, my eyes meeting his, which were full of concern. I smiled meekly.

“Sorry about that.”

He frowned, taking my hands in his. “Are you alright? What happened in there? We listened, and…”

“Dude, you weren’t supposed to listen. It went fine, I just…it kinda slammed me, the idea that the masses are watching you fucking someone who isn’t me. But I think I’m over it already. Water under the bridge. Digestive fluids down the drain. And I probably should have had breakfast. Coffee is not breakfast.”

He pulled me into an embrace, stroking my hair as he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

I leaned back to look at him again. “It’s okay. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed I throw up. Like a two year old after a crying fit. Or something. I feel fine now, though. Actually, I’m hungry. Which is weird because christ, that was gross. Let me make sure the sink is clean before we leave.”

He kissed my temple, released me, then checked the sink himself. “It’s fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded. “Yep. My brain decided that the solution to my problem was to realize that while there may be lots of people seeing you do the deed, I’m the one who gets to actually DO the deed with you, from this day forward forever and ever amen, so I win.”

“Your logic never fails to amaze me.” Reaching out, he took my chin in his hand. “I’m still very, very sorry. Thank you for standing there and handling it all.”

“Well, I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t kneel before me.”

He laughed, leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose. “Only because they were sitting, my love.” He released my chin and took my hand in its place.

“True. It’s like too lazy to get off the floor kneeling. Totally acceptable. Also, what you said, your improvisation…that was…it was beautiful, and very, very brave, and I’m so proud of you, Tom. And also ridiculously, totally, completely in love with you.”

A big, beautiful smile spread across his face. “Same, Maude. Same. And thank you. It’s been in the back of my mind for quite some time, but it never seemed right until that moment. If it helps even just one person, it’s worth it. Plus, if the world’s going to know I’m not perfect, they should know just how imperfect I truly am.”

“Thomas, I’m going to have to go ahead and disagree with you there. You are TOTALLY perfect.”

He laughed, a full on three gear ehehehehe. “Come on, then. Let’s get you fed.” He held the door for me, and we walked back to join Luke, and Simon, who’d arrived in our absence.

“Lets. I have one file to upload, then the first email can go out. By the time we’re done eating, the story should be spreading like wildfire. And after I send the invitations, this is going to be Luke’s problem until after the weekend unless it’s absolutely necessary for us to get involved. Right, Luke?”

Luke glanced at Tom, silently inquiring as to whether or not I was okay. Tom nodded, and Luke sighed with relief.

“Sure thing, Maude.”

Simon pointed at me. “Whatever Bridezilla wants, Bridezilla gets.”

I pointed back. “And don’t you fucking forget it, mister.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 44

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zippdementia · 6 years

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The Main Resident Evil Games, Ranked

I’ve been playing Resident Evil games since Resident Evil 2 first terrified me as a 14 year old. I have fond memories of having to have my friend play through the sewer sections in that game, the ones involving giant spiders... and I also have fond memories of eventually overcoming those fears to achieve the coveted A Rank on the game and unlocking Hunk and Tofu (God, I had way more time back then). Since those early days, I’ve played through every main game in the series and have mostly kept up with the lore of the side games. It remains one of my favorite go-to franchises for its atmosphere and fun mix of horror and action, not to mention its over-the-top story, which always feels a little bit like Capcom browsed Reddit for its favorite fan fiction than turned it into an official game.

That said, this list looks at only the nine main games in the series (that’s Resident Evil 0 through 7, plus Code Veronica) as those are the only ones I’ve played, outside of obsessing for a month or two on Umbrella Chronicles... oh, and a brief, extremely un-fun run through Outbreak.

Because I started the series so long ago, I have a love in my heart for the old school fixed camera games and those that give us a healthy dose of survival horror over action, but I’ve tried to be as objective as possible in creating this list, keeping in mind that of course such things can never stray too far from the subjective. Also, as an added bonus, I’ve included a “scariness” ranking for each game separate from the main ranking. This, of course, is COMPLETELY subjective.

And with that, let’s do *assumes dark growly voice* RESIDENT EVIL: RANKING.

#9: Resident Evil 6

Resident Evil 6 is a mess of ideas and intentions. From the beginning, its development was hampered by too many cooks in the kitchen as various directors and producers continually changed their mind as to what the game should be. Eventually they settled on making it everything by breaking up the game into three extremely different short games, one that relies heavily on horror aspects, one on action aspects, and one on shooting aspects (including heavy use of a widely panned cover system). Unfortunately, these three approaches are intrinsically opposed to each other in terms of genre, gameplay, and aesthetic. Instead of pleasing all fans, this approach guaranteed that no matter who you are, you are going to like exactly one third of Resident Evil 6 and hate two thirds of it. It also highlighted for fans that Capcom no longer knew what its series wanted to be. The asinine story which arguably jumped the shark as far back as Code Veronica now captured that shark, put a saddle on it, and rode it around an arena while Chris Redfield did steroids. In short: the story was so nonsensical, it seemed to leave nowhere else for the series to go (a problem they just sort’ve ignored in Resident Evil 7). Resident Evil 6 has some fun elements to it, and it fixed many of the problems people had with bad companion AI and clunky run and gun mechanics, but it wasn’t enough to make the experience a good one.

Scary rank #9: In addition to being a poor game, Resident Evil 6 almost completely moves away from the game’s horror routes. Leon’s campaign has some nice tip of the hats to the old series, but the game never becomes scary. The fact that you run around with a partner for the entire thing and that those partners quip ridiculous lines like “it’s really powerful, especially against living things” means you’ll be cringing in embarrassment more than fear from this title.

#8: Resident Evil 0

Released in 2002, Resident Evil 0 feels like the final evolution of the old school style and systems of Resident Evil’s fixed camera games. The controls are smoother, the use of weapons easier, you can drop items directly on the floor and the game will keep them there for later retrieval, and there is the buddy system which represents a very early attempt at cooperative AI. Unfortunately, despite all of these improvements to the mechanics, the experience itself feels too well worn by this point to be very exciting. You can tell that the developers themselves were growing tired of the formula as they start to move away from zombies to other monsters... like, er, frogs. Yes, unfortunately the replacements aren’t very interesting: frogs, baboons, a giant bat, and an operatic villain feel like weak additions to the series and make it seem like the developers were out of ideas. The story fills in some of the backstory of the mansion incident but ultimately doesn’t push us forward towards anything new (which is what fans really wanted and wouldn’t get until RE4). Aside from an incredible opening sequence on a train and the criminally underused character of Billy, Resident Evil 0 is a very polished but very bland experience.

Scary Rank #6: The scariest thing about Resident Evil 0 is managing two characters. Trying to gather enough supplies for one person in Raccoon City is a trick in itself. Having to keep both members of your team well equipped, well healed, and ready to deal with the plethora of enemies they will face can be harrowing. It’s the rare occasion where having two does not feel better than having one. And then there’s the leechmen. I don’t know if it’s because they are sturdy or seem to pop up whenever you least expect it, or maybe it’s that music that plays when they attack, but the leechmen will freak me out and leave me with the jitters every time they show up. None of the other enemies are very frightening, though, and anytime I get too scared I just think back to that cinema scene of Markus singing opera to his leeches... and burst out laughing.

#7: Resident Evil Code Veronica

After the events of Resident Evil: Nemesis, no one was sure where Capcom could take the story next. Raccoon City had been destroyed, Umbrella Corps had fallen, and all of our heroes had been given somewhat happy endings. Enter Code Veronica, which blew open the possibilities again by reintroducing Albert Wesker. By now, Wesker is so well associated with Resident Evil as to be a cliche, but it was a huge surprise in 2000 when he was revived, green lizard eyes and all, to take on Chris Redfield once again. Suddenly people were talking about Resident Evil again and where it might go in the future. This success, however, is less impressive now that that future has arrived and there are better games to play in the series. Code Veronica always favored innovation over polish and it has not aged well as a result. Most notably, the game seems to demand more speed and fighting ability of its player than previous entries, pitting Claire and Chris against such fast moving villains as the Matrix-inspired Wesker and his pack of lightning quick hunter beasts. Combats tend to be fought in tighter quarters, sometimes to extremely frustrating effect, such as the infamous “Steve” battle (also, I hate Steve), or the Tyrant fight in the back of an airplane. Players who have not properly kept up their inventory with powerful weapons and healing items can find themselves stuck in these places, struggling with the clunky controls to try and dodge extremely damaging attacks. The atmosphere and story make Code Veronica worth the experience... but only barely.

Scary Rank #4: A lot of Code Veronica’s scares are due to the feeling that you can’t handle what the game is throwing at you. This is, as described above, a mixture of awful controls and enemies that are far too fast and resilient for most players to be able to take on with that control scheme. Still, it does make the experience harrowing. More legitimate scares come from the creepy gothic atmosphere and the bizarre nature of the Ashford twins. Alex is... ridiculous. But his sister Alexia brings to bear all the things we all hate about creepy little girls and then throws in some incest and patricide to boot. Alexia is a genuinely disturbing addition to the Resident Evil roster.

#6: Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil 7 had the Herculean task of redeeming Resident Evil as a series after the missteps of Resident Evil 6. And, for the most part, it succeeded at this. Choosing to return to the series’ horror routes, RE7 draws upon the influences of other games in the genre, most notably Alien Isolation and Outlast, to craft an experience that feels modernized and on par, atmospherically, with some of the best Resident Evil titles. There are moments that are absolutely terrifying and the game doesn’t stop feeling tense until very near the end. Gamers like myself who grew up with RE1 and RE2 love this return to form and find that the first-person perspective retains the feel of the old fixed camera without being as restrictive, creating a horror experience where you are constantly wondering what’s behind you (but at least have the ability to turn around and check). Even fans who are newer to the series seemed to collectively breath a sigh of relief when they played the game. Reading forums and Reddit threads reveals that most gamers find the game to be fresh and smart, and are happy that it lacked the emphasis on lore and the over the top mustache-twirling villains that dominated previous titles. Objectively, though, there are flaws that I think will not be looked on favorably the more it ages. The blocking system, for instance, feels shoehorned in as a quick fix to disguise the fact that you can’t dodge or easily slow an approaching enemy down. Then, too, the game tries to be an action game near the end and utterly fails at it, only highlighting its unsatisfying shooting mechanics. The Molded are scary but overall a let down as enemies, with little variety between their forms, and the boss fights are the worst in the entire series, being clumsy and frustrating and a weird tonal break from the rest of the game. So for as much as it gets right, Resident Evil 7 is hopefully a stepping stone to something better.

Scary Rank #3: For the most part, RE7 does stop being scary after the first couple of hours, but holy shit those first couple of hours. There is more terror crammed into the initial exploration of the Baker house than in the entirety of most of the other games in the series. I was actually glad when the scares let up a bit to give me a breather, but it never quite reaches the same “heart attack” level again. That doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of terror sprinkled throughout: the wrecked ship has wonderful atmosphere, and despite having terrible boss fights, the battle against Margueritte is a stand out experience, making you constantly spin around to see if that creepy woman is crawling around behind you. More often than not, just as you turn, she’ll drop on you from above. Seriously, I don’t know how people play this on VR.

#5: Resident Evil 5

As the game that introduced functional multiplayer into the series, Resident Evil 5 remains popular to this day. As I type this, there are probably at least a dozen people live-streaming the game on twitch for the billionth time, and people are still tuning in to watch. Resident Evil 5′s lasting power comes from an absolutely incredible campaign that takes players through a wealth of diverse environments. Its combat situations are well crafted and each one feels a little different from the last, demanding different things of its players in each new area. Whether it’s fighting your way out of a crowd or solving puzzles while keeping back hordes of enemies, Resident Evil 5 keeps throwing new things at the player to ensure they don’t get bored. Its boss fights are similarly diverse and well paced (with a couple exceptions... that stupid jeep fight key among them). Graphically, it still looks good and mechanically some people think (myself included) that it actually plays a little smoother than its successor, Resident Evil 6 (some people say it looks better, too). The game’s main failings come from the fact that it is about 100% less fun to play as a single player experience and from the fact that the game let go of pretty much any horror elements, opting instead for pure action. The result is a game that is one of the most fun to play in the entire series even while it is also the furthest removed from the roots of the series and probably feels the least like a Resident Evil game.

Scary Rank #8: Resident Evil 5 traded in dark nights for African sunshine and switched out zombies for... tribal warriors? No matter what RE5 does, it just seems to be less scary then when it was done before. The Lickers make a triumphant return... but aren’t as scary as they were in Resident Evil 2. The El Gigante fight in the jeep is frustrating and feels like a weird arcade game. Only the fight against Jill and Wesker manages to be tense and even there tension is somewhat broken by Wesker’s drawling accent and ridiculous dialog. Resident Evil 5 is an action game first and foremost, which does little to sell it in the scariness department.

#4: Resident Evil 1 (REmake)

Resident Evil 1 (even before being remade in all its graphical and mechanical glory on the Nintendo Gamecube in 2002) had all of the right elements to create a lasting franchise. It featured incredible sound design and cinematic camera angles, designed not only to keep you guessing what was around the corner but to emulate camera shots used in actual horror movies. For the time it was released, it was mind blowing, unlike anything else on the market in terms of both ambition and quality. More than anything, it was its precise timing that was so impressive. For a horror experience to be good, the timing has to be perfect. That’s easier to do in a film, where the director has control over what the audience experiences and when they experience it. But in an interactive game it’s very difficult. There has to be just enough breathing room to get the player comfortable. Musical cues have to be spot on. That jump scare has to happen at exactly the right moment to have its full impact. And for all of this to work the director has to be able to anticipate what the player will do and where they will go and when they will do it. Resident Evil understood these barriers and crushed them with a key understanding of how gamers play. REmake only improved on this with added enemies (like the infamous Crimson Heads and Lisa Trevor) and new jump scares. The result? Very few of the Resident Evil games since REmake have felt quite so well made. Some took bigger risks, and some are more memorable, but the one that started it all established a formula so good that everything else the series does has been informed by it. Wesker, the Tyrant, creepy mansions... they are all here and as good as ever they will get.

Scary Rank #1: Resident Evil 1 never stops being tense. You never seem to have enough ammo, never enough healing items. You always wonder if this time through the hallway will be the time something jumps out at you. The remake makes this worse with the inclusion of Crimson Heads, which make zombies rise from the dead faster and more resilient (and with a heck of a scary growl), but even the original kept the mansion scary by throwing in those damnable Hunters just when you thought you’d cleared the place out. Speaking of the Remake, can anyone say Lisa Trevor? Dear lord, she alone gives this the number one spot on the list. It may never make your heart pound as hard as Resident Evil 7 does in its most intense moments, but Resident Evil 1 keeps the pressure on for longer and it truly is a sigh of relief when you get picked up by Brad’s helicopter at the end of the game. The first is still the best when it comes to putting your heart in your throat.

#3: Resident Evil Nemesis

Resident Evil Nemesis is a roller-coaster from start to finish, packed with so much action that it is hard to remember that it is possibly the shortest game in the main series. Nemesis doesn’t waste space, transforming Raccoon City into a constantly changing arena. Running around the ruins of Raccoon City as the zombie invasion hits full swing, you witness the city fall further and further into destruction as the streets gradually fill up with harder and harder enemies. No area feels safe in Nemesis, as even spots you’ve cleared previously can repopulate with new enemies. I say “can” because Nemesis keeps players on their toes with a randomly generating enemy system that changes where and when certain enemies appear, meaning you can’t get too comfortable in Raccoon City, even on subsequent playthroughs. And any time you do finally get some breathing room, the quiet is interrupted by a deep voice growling out “STARS...” Originally intended to be only a side story, Nemesis earns its rightful place among the main series mostly due to its titular villain, who is the most impressive of all of Resident Evil’s monsters. Years before Papa Baker would chase you through the halls of his bayou home, the nearly unstoppable Nemesis was already terrifying players by breaking all the old rules of where an enemy would go, chasing players around huge portions of the game’s map, breaking through doors and walls to continue the chase and even equipping a rocket launcher to target players at a distance. There are other innovations that shouldn’t go unnoticed here, either, such as a last-second dodge feature that encourages players to be more aggressive and get up close with enemies. There’s also the “choose your own adventure” timed choices that pop up in intense moments, like when the Nemesis is bearing down on you and you have to choose to jump out of a window or try and blow him up. Sometimes one option is better than another, and sometimes the option changes the story, leading to high replayability. And if you ever get tired of the main game, there is the unlocked Mercenaries mode. That’s right, it wasn’t Resident Evil 4 that started that. Like so many things, Nemesis did it first. All of these quirks and innovations, alongside the incredible non-stop pace, make Nemesis still a blast to play today and one heck of a send off to Raccoon City.

Scary Rank #2: Because the action moves so fast in Nemesis, you will never get a chance to calm down. Not to mention Nemesis himself is a walking jump scare. If Resident Evil 7 proves that being chased makes for some of the scariest moments in a video game, then Nemesis makes you feel chased for the entire game. The only thing that keeps it from being as scary as Resident Evil 1 is that it is over sooner.

#2: Resident Evil 4

Resident Evil 4 represented a revolution in the series, ushering it from its old-school fixed camera routes into a more modern over the shoulder style of play. I struggled with this change throughout my entire first playthrough, upset with the fact that it abandoned the old formulas. Gone were zombies, gone were most of the scares, gone were most aspects of survival horror. But then I also found myself dreaming of it, saying “heheh, what are you buying?” until my girlfriend asked me to stop, and starting over and playing it over from the beginning as soon as I had beaten it. Despite the change in direction, it was a game I didn’t want to end, and I’ve gone on to purchase it on nearly every system its been released on. I’m not alone in this: Resident Evil 4 is one of the most successful games in the franchise and indeed one of the most influential video games of all time. It didn’t only redefine what Resident Evil was for an entire new generation of gamers, it also redefined how people thought of third person shooters, opening the doors for everything from Gears of War to Uncharted. If you load it up today, you’ll find it takes an hour or so to get used to the older controls, but the game was so well designed that once you do you’ll see how everything in the game caters to those controls, creating an enticing run, stop, aim, shoot cycle that is addictive and never stretches beyond its limitations. Of the over the shoulder Resident Evil games, Resident Evil 4 feels the most complete, not requiring a co-op experience to make it good nor relying on years of lore to understand and care about its story and characters. Resident Evil 5 may have been fun, but it never got quite this good again.

Scary Rank #7: Resident Evil 4 is often tense, because of the nature of its gameplay, which forces you to stand still while shakily aiming at oncoming enemies. It never really gets scary, though. Enemies are too slow and your bullets too numerous, your spin kicks too awesome, to make you truly feel vulnerable. It does get props for a certain boss that chases you relentlessly through a certain caged area... oh, and for the Regeneradors. The Regeneradors, with their constant snuffling sound and their twitchy gait, are among the scariest enemies ever in Resident Evil. But a few minutes of pure terror isn’t enough to ignore the heavy focus on action and the fact that Leon carries enough firepower to wage his own war.

#1: Resident Evil 2

Resident Evil 1 may have started the franchise but it was Resident Evil 2 which jumpstarted the fan base. Resident Evil 2 had a lot to prove, mainly that this series could survive (pun intended) more than a single outing, that it could expand its scope, grow its cast of characters, and build on its setting. And boy did it deliver. If Resident Evil 1 broke ground when it came out, then Resident Evil 2 dug deeper. One mansion became a city. The two selectable characters did more than have different items and slightly change the order of events. Now, you had to play both characters one after the other to experience the full story. As if that wasn’t enough, the game changed depending on which character you played first, and in order to see everything the game had to offer, you had to play four times. Granted, two of those times would feel awfully similar, but the A&B scenarios changed just enough about the story and scenarios to make it well worth every second. The scares of the first game remained mostly intact but now a healthy dose of video game action was thrown in and boss fights became more numerous and dynamic, creating what remain the series’ best and most diverse boss fights. Simply put, Resident Evil 2 is a masterpiece of realized ambition that hasn't been matched by any other game in the series. It’s one failing now is that it is old, both graphically and in terms of controls. There’s a reason that fans have been clamoring for a remake of this for so long! But I’m glad Capcom waited so long to do it. Resident Evil 2 needs more than a new coat of paint. It is a carefully constructed experience and care is going to be required to give it a second life on par with the original experience. Here's hoping 2019 delivers on that.

Scary Rank #5: One of the best things about Resident Evil 2 is that you aren’t playing special forces this time around. Claire Redfield is a simple citizen and Leon Kennedy a rookie cop. They feel, from the opening cutscenes, completely out of their element which added a wonderful connection between them and the player. Unlike the first game, you don’t start off in a safe situation that grows worse the longer you explore. No, you start off in a goddamned car wreck, surrounded by zombies and not nearly enough bullets to fight them. From the beginning, Resident Evil 2 highlights that you need to run to survive. Then it introduces Lickers, which add a whole new element to jump scares and you think that the game may be too frightening to keep playing. But also around this time it introduces you to grenade launchers and shotguns and lots of ammo for both of them. This makes the Resident Evil 2 scares manageable because the reaction to anything that moves in that game is to scream and then douse it with either buckshot or acid rounds.

#Resident Evil #Frightening #Scary

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thenightisland · 7 years

Text

you know the drill:

this is becoming like its own series but idk how else to explain this awful year i don’t even feeling like properly linking so here’s just the URLs of the other ones in the series: 1. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/161087786689/explanationsupdates-under-the-cutmore-i 2. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/161920216354/additional-updatesexplanations-under-the-cut 3. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/163767959805/updates-under-the-cutmore-post-one-post-two-on 4. http://thenightisland.tumblr.com/post/164398486219/on-the-fourth-edition-of-what-the-fuck-is

one of the assessors got jumped a while back. she was just walking past a pt in the main assessment dept and he jumped up, punched her in the back of the head, took her to the ground and beat the fuck out of her. she was out for weeks and weeks and had broken facial bones. i can’t believe she didn’t quit.

our nurse executive quit though. not like, went prn or gave two weeks notice, like just straight up was like I’M DONE and walked out which honestly is the closest i’ve ever come to respecting him.

while having more psychologically unstable pts isn’t new, having more medically unstable pts has been a problem lately. like our crash cart is not like a medical hospital’s crash cart it’s like. an ambu bag some iv supplies and a stethoscope no lifesaving medications. when a pt has a medical issue we send them out to a medical hospital because obv we don’t have the resources to treat complex medical issues where we work. which didn’t used to be an issue because you’d used to see maybe two medical codes a year on my unit. we’ve had /ten/ since my last update post /just on my shift/. two of which weren’t even “pt is going downhill fast” codes they were “pt has no heartbeat and isn’t breathing” like we had to fucking bring two people back from the goddamn dead /within ten minutes of each other/. we’re all like we’re psych nurses man if we wanted to do this shit we’d work er. [and the er we’re required to send these pts to is awful like they sent us back a guy who had almost died twice in three days who had an /untreated brain tumor/ bc obv he’s totally fine]. or we’ve been doing mash unit style medicine like the suicidal kid with partial thickness burns all over his chest and neck that literally no one was doing anything about. we were debriding burns with a mixture of different PO IM and SQ drugs to achieve the same effect as IV morphine because debriding is extremely painful but not doing it will just make things worse and no one else seemed to care so we just fucking did it. like we’ve done so much medical nursing lately. like the one with the uncontrolled severe seizures that led to the medical hospital labeling her first break schizophrenia despite no family history of mental illness but /five different medical issues that all cause psychosis/. or the one they let on the unit despite being on the do not readmit who has untreated hiv that he actively tries to give to other people and /active tuberculosis/. or the one with the aneurysm. or the one with severe CHF. and on and on and on. and remember: we’re not the most medically unstable unit in the hospital because we have a 40 bed /geriatric psych unit/ so you can imagine the kind of pts /they’re/ getting. on the plus side, all of our ten odd codes lived.

my personal life is still a goddamn mess, of course, but that’s a given. don’t even know where to begin with all that. and i can’t talk about a lot of it which makes it that much more fun.

i had an entire crisis about the odyssey [which tbh is still kind of going on even after /weeks/] because i’m getting so cagey in memphis because i fucking hate this town. and i just got back from new orleans which is the closest thing i have to an ithaca at the moment and it killed me to come back to this fucking city.

i’m also really paranoid right now because after i come back from vacations, something terrible always happens and i’m not exaggerating it’s like clockwork to the point that the bad things have all happened between friday and sunday after i’ve returned from my vacation, each time, without fail. well that would be this weekend so i am just waiting to see what great horrors await me this goddamn time. [last time, it was the whole coworker killed in vehicular homicide thing]. but i guess paranoia isn’t the right word. you’re only paranoid if you’re wrong, and my life has already set the precedent. so i guess anxious is the better word.

the anxiety is increased given that my mother has been out of work all week because they’ve had trouble regulating her blood sugar and so she’s been really sick and even said so herself she’ll probably end up in the er over the weekend because she doesn’t think she can make it till her next doc appt because she’s miserable, and she’s already been in the er once when this weird shit started happening a month or so ago so the Vacation Curse has me even more concerned than usual, which is saying something.

there’s a new psych doc working now and everyone is really unsettled by him and we’re pretty sure he’s a genuine psychopath like completely without exaggeration and he’s already done a lot of really creepy things to/with staff members and one nurse said in passing “i’ve known a lot of doctors like him he’ll end up fucking a pt at some point” which we initially left to hyperbole but he’s been doing shit like transporting female pts to other units without the staff’s consent in his own car which is like all kinds of not allowed, and the way he talks to some of the staff is just downright rapey honestly. and so we had a rough case this summer who, through the combined efforts of my squad, we got her from a diagnosis of intellectual disability with schizophrenia, nonverbal, self harming all the time, history of physical and sexual abuse, constantly in restraints and on a 1:1 obs level to a new diagnosis of autism spec with ptsd because her “hallucinations” were /flashbacks/ and she ended up very social and verbose and like fucking read william blake for fun and had a great sense of humor and was off all special observations and had a transfer to another facility pending so she could get more 1:1 long term therapy, and the creepy doctor was covering her case while her actual doc was out of town and he rode all the way to the other hospital with her which is another thing you do not do, and we found out from a coworker that she is now a /2:1/ [two staff members within arm’s reach 24/7], self harming again, in full shutdown/meltdown mode, and nonverbal. and it was such a rapid deterioration that all of us lost sleep over the possibility that this creepy doctor might have done something because even after she was at the other hospital and therefore no longer our pt, /he kept going to see her/. which fucked us up a lot because we were the ones who worked so hard for so long with her. like even the thought of it.

recently had 25th birthday so naturally had a crisis about that because i’d always said my goal was to be out of memphis by 25 and yet here we are.

another of our fave pts, esp one of /my/ fave pts, died out of literally nowhere. the day before my birthday. so that was great.

also felt really surreal to see the news about the convictions in the holly bobo case, which i found out about when one of my coworkers was reading the news on his phone during a lull one night i forgot that to him and everyone else it’s a national news story [hell it even has its own wikpedia page] but to me it’s just /holly/ because she was /in the class above me in our nursing program/. my first semester in college i remember seeing her face on missing posters on every building on campus. so it was really a weird moment of dissociation for me. glad the motherfucker was found guilty on all charges, obv.

the tech of mine who got his skull slammed into the floor, the one who’s been out with what can only be called severe psychological trauma, is supposed to be coming back the third week in october. which i just. i mean i’m glad because he’s one of our best guys, but i’m also like /why the fuck would he come back/ because he could be a fucking english professor again. motherfucker spent part of his youth growing up in italy and montreal, lived on the west coast for years, /was/ a college professor, did time as a script doctor in LA, and was a fucking thriller novelist who just gone girled himself for whatever reason and ended up working with us. there’s literally a reddit thread asking if anyone knows what happened to him and i want to be like don’t worry it’s fine he works with me. but so we’re like why would you come back to this place after what happened to you when you have so many other options available to you????? what are you running from that makes you so desperate to keep centering your life around a locked acute psych ward???? why did you gone girl yourself to begin with??? like he was screwed up enough there for a while that he wasn’t even answering his calls or texts and our boss had to send the police to do welfare checks on him because he lives alone so it’s like man why not go back to the life you had before and /get away from all of this/ it’s not like my situation where i’d rather be living a different life but have never done so, he already has the foundation because he’s already lived a different life he has an in that i don’t have and i can’t for the life of me figure out why he thinks working as an acute pysch tech is the better option.

but i mean. we /do/ call our unit the hotel california for a reason.

#karen's adventures in trying to sort her life out #this got longer than i intended whoops

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