#really glad we got someone be so effected by grief. Usually it's just “wow that's so sad sure miss my buddy eric. anyway lawyer time”

[massive-isopod]

CRYING I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS DON'T TALK TO ME

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Ruki Route ー Chapter 4

ー The scene starts on the Carnival’s venue

Yui: Wait, Ruki-kun! Where are we going?

Ruki: Apparently the Sky Terrace we were informed of earlier has a facility which treats injuries. We’re headed there.

Yui: A facility which treats injuries? At the Sky Terrace...?

Ruki: Don’t ask me about the details, but it says so on this flyer. It’s worth checking out, don’t you think?

Yui: ( Could it be...For the wound on my arm? )

Ruki-kun, the injury on my arm is fine, you know? I only lightly scraped it, and it already stopped bleeding as well, so...

Ruki: It’s not ‘fine’, is it. I’m the one who made you get hurt. I’ll take proper responsibility.

All you need to do is keep quiet and follow behind me.

Yui: ( It really is fine though...Ruki-kun must be really worried about it. )

( I got away with just a light scratch because Ruki-kun saved me...So he definitely shouldn’t blame himself. )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene skips to the Sky Terrace

Yui: ‘Refresh at our spa, a space for relaxation’...

So the facility to have your injuries treated is actually a spa...

( It looks like an open air bath. So they have these in the Demon World too... )

Ruki: The hot water in this bath is said to be highly effective for the treatment of injuries. The flyer from earlier made that very clear.

I don’t want to blindly trust those words...But it’s worth the try. Go ahead and take a nice, long bath.

Yui: Huh? You won’t take one too?

Ruki: I’m fine. I’ll wait for you here.

Yui: But...I feel bad for making you wait all by yourself...

Ruki: Haha...What’s that? You’re being rather bold today.

You even want to be together with me in the bath...Where you’d have to take off all your clothes to get inside?

Yui: Together...?

( Don’t tell me, it’s a mixed bath!? )

Ruki: Well, if you insist, I don’t mind considering it...

What do you say?

Yui: S-Sorry! Please wait here after all...!

Ruki: That’s why I told you. ...Besides.

ー He steps closer

*Rustle*

Yui: Eh? ...W-What? Ruki-kun?

Ruki: I’m sure you haven’t picked up on it, but I’ve been sensing a strange aura this whole time.

Yui: A strange aura...?

Ruki: Yes. It seems like there’s someone who is trying to sniff us out.

I can only assume you would be their target. You’re the Queen of the Carnival after all. 

If we were to be attacked, I would rather not be completely naked. That’s why I’ll stand guard right here.

Yui: ...Uhm, does that mean...I’d have to run away without any clothes on?

Ruki: Don’t worry. Livestock never needed clothes to begin with.

Yui: No way, how could you say that...!?

Ruki: Hah...Come on, just get going. I said you could take your time, but get out before you get dizzy, okay? (1)

Yui: ( I honestly don’t know if Ruki-kun is kind or not... )

ー The scene shifts to inside the spa

Yui: Hm...

( Ruki-kun said there’s someone tracking us down but...Who could it be? )

( I wonder if the ‘Queen of the Carnival’ thing Ruki-kun mentioned is related to it after all? )

( However, the scent of my blood should be suppressed, so why would they target me...? )

...Ah.

*Splash*

Yui: ( Amazing...! I’ve only been soaking in the water for a few minutes, but the wound is already healing! )

( So it really does have a healing effect. )

( ...I’m glad. Once my injuries are all better, Ruki-kun won’t have to worry about it anymore either. )

*SCENE SHIFT*

Ruki: ...

...So they’ve started moving.

However, this presence...

...

...Seems like things might get a little troublesome.

*SCENE SHIFT*

Yui: ( ...Wow. You can’t even tell I ever hurt myself anymore. )

( As to be expected of the Demon World, it’s almost like magic. In that case, I suppose I can get ouーー )

*Rattle*

Yui: ...Eh?

ー Ruki steps inside

Yui: Wha...Ruki-kun!?

Ruki: Quiet. Your voice echoes.

Yui: I can’t be quiet right now! Why are you here...!?

*Splash*

Yui: ( He’s touching the water...? W-What is he doing...? )

Ruki: ...Haah.

Yui: Uhm, Ruki-kun...?

Ruki: How long do you intend to stay in there? If your wounds have healed, hurry up and get out. Let’s go.

Yui: Eh!? H-Hold up!

ー Yui gets out of the water

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Wait, Ruki-kun! I haven’t properly put on my clothes yet...!

Ruki: Don’t dawdle. You should at least be able to get dressed swiftly.

Yui: Easy for you to say...

ー She fixes her clothes

Ruki: ...Oi.

*Rustle*

Yui: ( ...His hand is on my hip...! )

Ruki: Behave yourself. ...They’re here.

Yui: Eh...?

???: ーー Blood...

Thirsty Vampire A: The scent of delicious blood...!

Yui: ( W-What? We’re surrounded by Vampires...!? )

Thirsty Vampire B: Give us your blood, human...!

Yui: ( Compared to the Vampires we’ve crossed paths with up till now, there’s clearly something wrong with them...! )

( They’re all after my blood...? )

( However, the bleeding has stopped and the wound is gone too, so why...!? )

Ruki: ...I knew it.

Either way, we have to get past them first. I’ll explain everything laーー 

*Thud*

Yui: Ow...!

Ruki: Oi, Yui!

Yui: ( What pushed me just now? It was an incredible force...! )

( ...Oh no! I got separated from Ruki-kun! )

Ruki: Yui, stay here! I’llーー

*Rustle*

ー The screen becomes blurry

Yui: ...What!?

( Next is, some sort of powder...!? )

Ruki: Fuck, they even prepared this...!

ー Yui closes her eyes

Yui: ( What is this powder...!? I can’t keep my eyes open...! )

( At this rate, I’ll only get even further away from Ruki-kun...! )

Ruki: Yui, just stay there! Don’t move carelessly! 

Yui: O-Okay...!

*Rustle*

ー Somebody grabs hold of her wrist

Yui: Ah!

Thirsty Vampire C: Hehe...Gotcha...

Thirsty Vampire B: Aah, it’s the scent of delicious blood...Makes me want to suck her dry down to the very last drop. 

Yui: No, stop...!

Ruki: Yui!! Don’t move!

Yui: ( Even if he says that, the Vampires are pushing me...! )

Thirsty Vampire A: Well then, human...Let us savor you thoroughly...

Yui: ...Stop...!

ー She continues backing away, accidentally stepping off the edge

*Rustle*

Yui: ...Eh?

( There’s no...ground under my feet...? )

Ruki: Yui!!

( Right...This is a terrace so... )

( ...I’m fallingーー...!! )

ー Yui tumbles off the edge

*Thud*

Yui: ( ...Huh...? )

Ruki: ーー Open your eyes. Everything is okay now.

ー She opens her eyes

Yui: Ruki-kun...!

Ruki: Don’t make such pathetic noises. ...Were you that scared?

Yui: I mean, we got separated and I nearly had my blood sucked as well...I thought I was going to fall.

Ruki: That’s why I told you to keep still.

Good grief, how many times do you intend to give me a near heart attack (2)?

Yui: Sorry...

Ruki: I’ll listen to all your apologies later. For now...Don’t let go. Hold onto me tightly.

Yui: ...Yeah.

( Ruki-kun saved me again... )

...Say, Ruki-kun? How did you know where I was?

There were tons of Vampires flocking around me and you shouldn’t have been able to see because of the white powder they scattered about...

Ruki: Who knows.

I was most definitely blinded and without the scent of your blood to go off of, I couldn’t act on the spot.

But even so...From the second I knew you had tumbled off the terrace, I jumped off without thinking.

Without a single clue and relying only on vague sensations, I desperately reached out my arms.

Anyway, I simply trusted on my instinct and wholehearted intent to save you...Which is how I managed to catch you in my arms like this.

I’m usually not the type of person to rely on something unless I’ve confirmed it with my very own eyes though...Heh...It truly is strange.

Yui: ...Thank you, Ruki-kun. For coming to my rescue.

Ruki: I’m glad you’re safe.

Oi, hang on tight. While we’re up in the air, let’s head straight there.

Yui: Head...To where?

Ruki: To his castle. You are the Queen after all. Or have you forgotten your own duty perhaps?

Yui: Ah...Right. That’s true.

( Once we’re there...I’ll have my duties as the Queen, so I won’t be able to spend time at the Carnival with Ruki-kun like this. )

...

Ruki: Oh? Now this is new. You rarely snuggle up to me like this...

Yui: It’s because I’m scared I’ll fall...

Ruki: ...In that case, I’ll take you to the castle slowly.

We’re running short on time but...Well, I suppose it’s fine. The star of the show always arrives late.

Once we’ve reached the castle...My duty will come to an end.

Until then...Go ahead and enjoy this time to your heart’s content.

Yui: ( This really is the end... )

( I feel like our time together really flew by today. )

( Once we’re at the castle and I’ve fulfilled my duties as this ‘Queen of the Carnival’, I’ll have to say farewell to Ruki-kun, right? )

( ... )

( I want to spend more time with Ruki-kun after all... )

( I’d be sad if things were to end like this... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the area in front of the castle

Yui: ( ...We’ve already arrived. )

( This is where ‘that man’, the person Ruki-kun and the others obey, lives... )

Ruki: Yui, I’m putting you down.

Yui: Y-Yeah...

*Rustle*

Ruki: ...This is the venue. Let’s go.

Yui: Y-Yeah...

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: ( There’s nobody here...? )

Ruki: Yui, don’t wander around.

Yui: Ah, yeah.

Say, Ruki-kun? What exactly does the Queen have toーー

Ruki: My sincere apologies for the wait. ーー Karlheinz-sama.

Yui: ( Karlheinz-sama...? )

Karlheinz: Raise your head, Ruki. No need to be so humble.

Ruki: Yes.

Yui, you should greet him too. This is Karlheinz-sama...The owner of this castle, as well as the King of Vampires.

( Then this the infamous ‘that man’ who Ruki-kun and the others follow? )

( They owe their lives to him, right...? )

Karlheinz: Hello, Eve. I suppose it is my first time meeting you looking like this? My apologies for the belated greeting.

Yui: Ah, n-no! Nice to meet you. I’m Komori Yui. Uhm, you see...!

Ruki: Yui, calm down a little.

Karlheinz: Fufu...No need to bow your head to me. You are the star of tonight after all.

How was it, Ruki? Did you enjoy the Carnival?

Ruki: ...I did. Although we ran into a few close calls as well.

Karlheinz: Hooh? That must have been quite misfortunate.

However...You were able to deal with all of it, no?

Ruki: ...You were the one behind it after all, weren’t you? I figured that might be the case.

Yui: Eh? ...Ruki-kun, what do you mean?

Ruki: That everything which happened to us today was part of this man’s plan.

Yui: Everything...To which extent?

Ruki: Everything is everything. The creepy magician and clowns at Saint Nore Park...

I’m sure the Vampires who attacked us on the sky terrace were doing so under his direct order as well.

Yui: ( Then...He put us in danger on purpose...? )

( ...That’s just so... )

Karlheinz: I expected no less from you, Ruki. You are as clever as ever. When did you realize?

Ruki: The surrounding Vampires would target her, despite the fact the wound on her arm had healed.

Afterwards, I touched the bath water...and then my suspicions were confirmed. I could sense your magic in it.

Karlheinz: Inflicting injury upon Eve was not part of my plan. To make it up to you, I healed her wounds.

She is your precious Eve, right? You still have a long way to go Ruki, since you let her blood spill from something other than your fangs.

Ruki: My sincere apologies.

Yui: No way...Why are you apologizing, Ruki-kun...?

Ruki-kun protected me the best he could...!

Ruki-kun...Why would you say sorry?

Ruki: Yui?

Yui: I mean, we’re the ones who were in danger, right...?

Ruki: Cut it out, Yui. I get why you would grow defiant after everything you’ve been through butーー

Yui: No, that’s not what I’m trying to say...!

This person...He tested you, didn’t he?

Toying with a person’s feelings like that...Is simply something I can’t let slide.

( How dare he test Ruki-kun, who was so worried about my injuries, looking at me with a strained look in his eyes...That’s just too cruel! )

Karlheinz: Toy with a person’s feelings...Huh? I can’t deny that.

When you’ve lived as long as I have, you can’t help but develop some questionable tastes.

Yui: ...If you feel bad, then apologize to Ruki-kun, please.

Ruki: ...Don’t be ridiculous! How could you ask him to apologize?

Yui: You were being tested too, you know!? That’s just too mean...!

Ruki: Even if you think that way, you should realize who you are talking to. I’m sure you know that much, no?

Yui: ...However, it isn’t good to hide how you truly feel.

Ruki: What...?

Yui: You’re the one who said I should learn to be confident and walk with pride...Yet you’re hiding your feelings too.

Ruki: ...That’s not true. Iーー

Karlheinz: Hold it, Ruki.

I agree with her.

You are absolutely correct, Eve. I shall express my remorse.

My bad.

Yui: ...

Selection

→ Me too... (☾)

Yui: I’m sorry too. I really ran my mouth...

But...Having you think of my special someone that way makes me sad, I don’t like it...

Especially since I know how important you are to Ruki-kun...

Ruki: ...

Karlheinz: Right. ...Ruki, I’m sorry.

Ruki: No...

→ Please apologize to Ruki-kun

Yui: Please apologize to Ruki-kun instead of to me.

Karlheinz: I see. That is valid too.

Ruki, I’m sorry.

Ruki: N-No...

Ruki: ...Heh.

I never thought you’d get the person who is basically what you would consider this world’s God to bow his head to you. You truly are...

Yui: I-I know I said some rude things! But...!

Ruki: I’m not criticizing you. ...I just thought I could never match you.

No matter how ordinary, foolish or shallow-minded of a woman you may be...You really are Eve after all.

Yui: ( Ruki-kun... )

Ruki: ...Karlheinz-sama. Can I say something?

Karlheinz: Yes, I do not mind.

Ruki: I...am standing here right now because of you.

My loyalty I vowed to you back then...Has not changed one bit to this day.

Therefore, I tried my very hardest to become Adam. To fulfill your wish.

...However, it seems like I am uncapable of becoming Adam after all.

Eve is...This is who she is.

While I would not call her perfect in every sense, she is still too good for me. ...Not suitable for a faulty Vampire such as myself...

My sincere apologies for failing to meet your expectations, even though I was willing to give it my everything.

Karlheinz: Then, Ruki, will you ーー give up on her?

Ruki: ...She should not belong to a person who is unable of becoming Adam.

Karlheinz: You are simply stating the truth. I want to know how you truly feel.

I said I agreed with Eve when she claimed you are hiding your feelings, did I not?

I am sure Eve wants to hear them too. ...Right?

Yui: ...Yes.

Ruki-kun...I want to know how you feel too.

Unrelated to this whole Adam and Eve thing, your raw feelings.

Ruki: ...But.

Karlheinz: Ruki. You should be more free.

You are a capable guy. You did a fine job heeding my words, and did everything within your power to fulfill my wish.

And up till now, you’ve always suppressed your ego and your own desires...

I am aware that you have put in the effort to be a proud Vampire, living your life according to my ideals.

However...Have you realized that this has made you blind to what is actually most important?

Ruki: ...

Karlheinz: ...Ruki. How important is Eve to you?

Is the lady standing next to you right now...Not worth it to toss away those ideals and values for?

Ruki: ...Karlheinz-sama.

Karlheinz: I do not know how you feel about it, but my answer is simple, Ruki.

Ruki: I...

*Ding ding*

Karlheinz: Oh dear. It’s time already.

Eve...No, I suppose I shall call you Queen of the Carnival right now. You are the star of tonight. Go ahead and head to the venue.

The purpose of this Carnival is to celebrate the birth of Adam and Eve. In short, it’s a banquet held for your sake.

Originally, Adam would have been celebrated alongside you as King of the Carnival, however...

Ruki: ...

Karlheinz: I suppose it is fine. I am not that cruel to pick a fruit which has only just begun to ripen.

However...The people are waiting for you to become Adam, Ruki.

Those waiting are...The people who have seen you with Eve throughout today.

Why don’t you try doing the same, and believe in the things they saw with their very own eyes?

Well then Eve, until we meet again.

ー Karlheinz leaves

Yui: ( ...So that’s Karlheinz-san. He’s quite the mysterious person... )

Ruki: ...

Yui: ( ...Ruki-kun couldn’t give him an answer. )

( I wonder what’s on his mind right now? No matter how much time we spend together, I can’t tell unless he directly tells me... )

Ruki: ...There’s a hall in the back.

Yui: Eh...?

Ruki: If there’s people waiting for us there, we can’t run away now, can we?

Yui: ( Does that mean...? )

...You’ll come with me too?

Ruki: I don’t mind staying here if you claim you have the courage to open that door all by yourself?

Yui: I-I can’t do it by myself!

I want to be with you. It has to be you, nobody else.

Ruki: ...

I...still can’t believe that I can become Adam. Regardless of what others may tell me.

...Howeverーー

I suppose it wouldn’t be bad to play the role of Adam just for that...At least that’s what I think.

Standing proudly by your side.

Yui: Ruki-kun...

If I am allowed to prioritize my own feelings...I will grab your hand first thing without hesitation.

Yui: ...Yeah, go ahead. I believe in those feelings of you too.

Ruki: Yes...Yui, your hand please?

*Rustle*

Ruki: ...Even if it’s just for today, will you be mine?

Yui: ...Yes.

Ruki: ...Even if this is nothing but a fleeting dream which will be over in the blink of an eye.

Right now...You are mine, Yui.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) In Japan, people tend to take baths in really hot water, so it is not uncommon for people to soak for too long and grow dizzy as a result of the heat + the steam surrounding the bath.

(2) In Japanese, the expression literally means ‘to cool down one’s liver’ and it’s used to imply that you give someone a scare. 

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 3

→ PROCEED TO FINALE ENDING

→ PROCEED TO NORMAL ENDING

[davidmann95]

John Wick Livetweet Transcript

Spoilers, clearly

(With a couple minor spelling corrections and slight editing for clarity and to suit my usual format on here)

Tonight, with the intent of watching part 2 tomorrow and the new one on the big screen next weekend, I'm finally gonna watch the movie where the mob kills Keanu Reeves' dog and therefore Keanu Reeves must kill the entire mob.

I know 3 things about John Wick besides the premise: 1. He is not the boogeyman, he is the one you send to kill him. 2. There's a bit where he syncs his gunshots in a club with the music to go undetected. 3. Someone asks if he is back and he confirms that he is, in fact, back.

Extremely looking forward to an old dude probably muttering "Baba Yaga" in horrified awe right before Keanu Reeves shoots him in the face.

The opening radio narration is talking about a storm having passed, I assume in symbolic reference to John Wick no longer destroying fools post-retirement. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW.

Holy cow, I thought that mysterious figure in the shadows had something of a Williem Dafoe-esque shape to his jawline, I didn't know it was actually gonna be him

Still basically the opening and Reeves is doing some damn *acting*

Laughing out loud at the cereal bit

Oh shit, this music is WAY too loud and angry for it not to be the fools who are gonna kill the dog

Nice

Wait, WHAT? Is John Wick gonna be a pilot?

No, they just let him angrily drift all over the airfield all day, which makes sense because if he asked if he could there is no way they would say no. Bet he saved the boss’s family or something and he got a lifetime pass.

He and the dog have too much chemistry, they should have just maimed it so it could come back in the finale to help kill everyone

The sound design here is fantastically brutal, and I love the recurring jagged, unnaturalistic visual storytelling as he’s overcome by grief.

Ghhaaa the collar, ghaaa him scrubbing the floor so gently as he’s containing his rage

After all that he *thinks* he’ll keep the car, watching this dude be annihilated is going to be AMAZING

John Wick you clearly live in an extremely upscale neighborhood, how did you acquire public transportation while covered in blood

This car dude is AMAZING, at first because of his reaction when he realizes exactly what’s going to happen and then him cold not giving a shit. I understand already why people talk about these movies having amazing walk-on side characters.

“...oh.”

Who’s Viggo’s right hand man? Swear I recognize him, is he he dude who plays Chaos or Bad Luck or whatever it is in those insurance commercials, plus probably substantially bigger roles that are what I should be remembering?

Impressive framing with how Viggo is immediately visibly freaked out and in over his head yet still palpably a figure of Power and Menace.

BABA YAGA

The intensity of the hammering in sync with what part of the story is being told, so so good

Okay, how did he think that call was going to go

This dress-up scene is very aesthetically pleasing

Baba Yaga

Okay, that first fight slapped and made me absolutely believe this man has a preternatural capacity for violence after a half hour of understandable sadness, but the doorbell and what immediately followed was so much better

Everything looks and sounds and feels so smooth, and I do mean that on a sensory level. Like, this is a physically pleasant movie to watch.

Willem Dafoe’s got a whole thing with looming ominously in the foreground going on here, huh

This movie is killer with organically implied history, down to this latest little snarl of “Perkins”

I wonder how much of what we’ll never see has actually been worked out by the writers and actors, and how much is simply “He’s John Wick, Shit Happened”.

Lovin’ the sinister jazz

Dammit, Perkins is so gonna try and violate the rules of the Continental and thereby incur a *heavy* penalty

Ah, nevermind (for now), and whatzisface is a good egg

Surprise surprise, I absolutely thought he was just gonna use a coin to cut in line

Cackling at “Hello, Francis.” He knows EVERYONE. Honestly not surprised he was able to open up and find true love, John Wick has clearly always been incredibly sociable.

Gotta go on hold for a bit to allow buffering, but jeez,  why didn’t culture at large spend the last 5 years telling me I should watch this?

I’m back, as is John Wick even if he hasn’t dramatically declared it yet.

I’m pretty sure the intensity with which Keanu Reeves stared into that one mook’s eyes as he bled out did more to kill him than the knife.

The MOMENT Wick and the brat lock eyes and the latter finally grasps the gravity of the situation.

These partygoers are just beautifully out of it, and also beautiful: this doomed fool’s mustache.

Think I hit the shot-syncing, even better was him exasperatedly reloading to kill the guy.

That tiny bit of blood splatter on the camera for a second

Surprisingly, mustache guy’s undoing was actually his beard!

Wick yelling not really because he’s been shot but because the guy got away meaning this whole night was a bust, right before going back into it.

Love me a good ominous declaration by a protagonist over the phone.

I don’t know the murder hotel etiquette and perhaps they have history too, but I really feel like John should be thanking the guy behind the counter for his excellent service at this point.

I knew it!

There’s a clear demarcation between how John Wick’s essentially superhuman and what he’s merely very good at, and that is not going in his favor right now.

So much quality acting in the space of about 3 seconds of changes in facial expressions from Adrianne Palicki.

Not positive this church music will convert into a glorious orchestral violence soundtrack, but it seems like a safe enough bet.

That, uh, was not the slow burn I was anticipating. Kinda wish he’d responded to “Do you know who you’re FUCKING with?” with “Yeah, some motherfucker who’s not John Wick.”

Literally repressed a squeal at “Uh-huh.”

Failed entirely to suppress a laugh at “Have a nice day.”

PriiiIIIIIceless!!!!!!!

Quality villain speech, but same as with the phone call: what response exactly was he expecting?

Putting the subtitles on Baba Yaga at this point is basically a Claremontism.

HE’S BACK

Owowowowowbitingow

Aw, cool it, John.

Well, that was as satisfying as could have been hoped for, but how are there 25 minutes left?

Glad he finally said thank you.

Ah, that’s how.

Between lingering on Dafoe taking his off and how Wick wears his, wondering if watches are gonna be a thing for the end here or in the next one.

Perkins’ little silent ‘oohhhh’.

The Ominous Foreground Energy has transferred to his vanquisher.

By thine own hhaaaand

Harry’s back! I like Harry, seems real salt-of-the-Earth.

Viggo finally realizing whose movie he’s in

He’s basically using the car as goddamn body armor and the lackey is still trying to make a plan

You gotta be kiddin’ me with where he’s getting these medical supplies. Not at all a complaint, but wow.

He looks so frustrated by his own pain more than agonized.

And credits are rolling, folks! This has been a journey.

My big thought: the big villain speech about John is right, but not in the way Viggo thinks. He hasn’t changed, but that’s because his capacity for being a (by the standards of his profession) decent dude was always in there.

He’d be dead or stymied a dozen times over in here if not for the connections he built up over the years before we or likely even his wife met him, and half the time they’re willing to break the *strictly* enforced rules or go against their own interests to help him.

He’s not a monster who found and lost redemption, he’s a dude who just incredibly, unstoppably Gives A Shit, who for a time found something better to devote that to. And even now those around him respond to that and respect that.

Not that that might not lead him into ruin, but everything we see and all the ripple effects of what we don’t tell us that this is who he’s always been, in ways good and bad, and that’s what saves and damns him.

Also I’m pretty sure the lady who dropped off the dog at the beginning is literally the only character who speaks so much as a single line (other than a few yelling in a fight) who doesn’t have a visible personality. Everyone is someone in this baby.

Thinking when I watch 2 I’ll just react to that after the fact, so I’ll leave it here for now.

[doomedandstoned]

Southern Sludge Acolytes Midmourner Talk Roots, Drop New Sounds from Cavity Split

~Interview by Shawn Gibson~

Foreword by Billy Goate

It's been just a few years since I encountered MIDMOURNER at a show. The southern sludge band from Birmingham, Alabama was making a rare West Coast appearance and stopped in Eugene, Oregon to play an all ages venue called The Boreal (which sadly has since closed its doors). I was on hand with my trusty camcorder to capture the action and the sound turned out so well that the band issued it as a live album. For all the savagery of their music (and when you're standing right in front, just feet away, it is quite frightening, believe you me), I found the guys to be quite friendly -- reminding me of the fabled southern hospitality I missed most when I lived in the Bible Belt as a kiddo.

Since that encounter, Midmourner has been busy, most recently issuing a split with the band Cavity. Doomed & Stoned is proud to debut the song "When Knives Still Drove Conversation" from the Midmourner side of the record and, to accompany your listening, we've got an in-depth interview conducted by Shawn Gibson, who has made it something of a mission to document the unsung heroes in the underground sludge metal scene. Here, he speaks with fiery vocalist Shane Geoge and guitarist Bobbie Harris and they take an unexpected turn into the history of the punk scene in the southern states. A fascinating conversation in deed. Enjoy it while you soak in Midmourner's new track, "When Knives Still Drove Conversation."

Give ear...

An Interivew with Midmourner

Shane: Have you got a punk background? Because we do.

The first shows I went to were punk and hardcore shows in high school. That would be early to mid-nineties.

Shane: Beautiful, beautiful.

In school I listened to The Clash, Sex Pistols, The Exploited, Charged, G.B.H...

Shane: Oh, my god!

Misfits, Minor Threat, Day Glo Abortions. I told Billy Goate I love sludge and heavier doom just because it's some of the fucking heaviest styles of music.

Shane: I'm glad you can appreciate it. That's the thing, is people classify us as doom. All of us come from punk backgrounds. I think we hit our limit. Punks discovering metal. We add the heavy element to it. You've got to have the punk background, man. That's what differentiates between doom and sludge. I think that's why I gravitated towards sludge. It still has that "fuck you!" attitude. There is a lot of professionalism in doom that I can't subscribe to, you know?

Bobby Harris: It has a lot of punk D.I.Y vibe to it.

Shane: Exactly.

Bobby: You got old punk rockers who grew their hair long and have beards playing sludge. They dig the doom stuff. It's so metal and we are not metal. It's a little metal, more punk. We grew up in Birmingham Alabama punk scene. We'd go watch Cavity in the early nineties. I didn't know about sludge until I saw Cavity. Have you heard of ATP?

Alabama Thunder Pussy? Oh, yeah, I've seen 'em! Dude, I took my Mom to that show! She lives in Nashville, Tennessee, and wanted me to go to The Grand Ole Oprey. "No problem, mom, you have to come with me to a GWAR show." I was not going to tell her about the fluids!

Shane: Everybody must see GWAR before they die!

We were in Charleston, South Carolina. She was in town and Clutch, Alabama Thunder Pussy, and Suplecs played at the Music Farm. I said, "Mom, we got to go to this" and she did. She always jokes, "What was the name of that band we saw?" "Alabama Thunder Pussy, mom!" We laugh.

Shane: All that comes back to Kilara. Eric from ATP played drums. There was also the drummer from Avail, which was the greatest punk band that ever fucking existed, in my opinion. We went to a show, Kilara and Cavity inside a record store one night. Dude! Blew the fucking roof off the place! I don't know if your into Cavity or not?

I have heard of them. I haven't heard their music yet. I'll check em out.

Shane: You need to check em out!

Bobby: Without Cavity, I wouldn't be doing this right now. That's how much Cavity had an effect on me as a kid. That made me realize there was more beyond punk rock. It was more pissed off than punk! How can you be more pissed off than punk?

I'd say punk's pretty pissed!

Shane: Midmourner is Cavity plus Grief. That is Midmourner. That's it right there, man.

Bobby: It's a big fascination with Cavity. It's a big fascination with Grief. Cavity has that pissed off, fast, aggressive sound. Grief has that crushing heavy sound, you know? Together that's what we dig.

Shane: That is why we are tickled fucking pink knowing that next year we are going to play with Come To Grief!

Bobby: This is going to be a dream come true! I've been a fan since 'Disrupt,' man!

Shane: That's definitely a bucket list check, you know? We've got Carl, the merch guy from Come To Grief, with us.

Yeah, I talked to him when I was getting some Midmourner shirts from the table. Good guy!

Bobby: He's awesome!

Adorned in Fear and Error by Midmourner

Shane: So who is your favorite sludge band? Let's hear it!

There's a really good sludge band from Tulsa, Oklahoma I love, Senior Fellows. What's up, James!

Shane: Never heard of 'em.

Bobby: I've heard of 'em.

Shane: Good shit?

Dude go check them out on Bandcamp. 'Ecclesiastical Servitude' (2013) is my favorite album, their first. Very bitter, very dry. Heavy! I think Carl and I were talking about "No Cross and No Crown" attitude and ethos. One of their slogans is "Religion Mandates Oppression." Very pissed off!

Shane: I could see that.

I would say Midmourner is some badass sludge that annihilates. Glad to see you guys live and rip it up!

Shane: What did you think of it? We are interviewing you. How about that?

Uh, wow. First time. Usually the other way around. (laughs)

Shane: We are interested in what you think. How did you get into this, ya know? That's what I'm interested in.

I got into this because I love music! I will always do this. I will always share music that I like and know other people that would love to hear the same music. Music brings us together for a small moment. We are part of a family in this musical scene and I want the world to take notice.

Shane: Beautiful thing. Beautiful thing.

It still feels like a scene for me. I caught the ass-end of tape trading, but I love it and want to keep some that going. Now it's digital. You share music all day, anywhere!

You are going back home and wrap up this tour real soon. You were at St. Vitus bar in New York, as well as Charleston and Birmingham. It is a small world! When you meet people and you go on tour next year with Come To Grief: "Holy fuck, Midmourner! I love you guys, man!" Someone will say that to you guys and they will be stoked to see you live.

Shane: We are definitely going to remember you.

The comradery. I don't think you have this much of a family with other styles of music.

Shane: People don't give a shit, man.

I love meeting people and making new connections. Meeting people that you'll keep in touch with for a long time, if not forever.

Bobby: It's getting to know people on a personal level.

Shane: That's the fun of this whole thing.

It's intimate. It's a bond that some people don't understand.

Bobby: Unfortunately, they don't. I don't get it.

Shane: Keep it small. Keep it underground.

(Billy Luttrell of Hexxus sits down and rolls a cigarette.)

Billy: I'm not interrupting, am I?

No not all. Join us.

Shane: We were talking about influences of Midmourner.

Billy: Molehill.

Shane: I don't know if you know Molehill.

No.

Shane: Sludge pioneers from 2000? '97 to 2000-something.

Billy: '98 to 2002.

Shane: That was the beginning of this. Me and Billy, who is our fill-in guy, we've been friends for thirty fucking years! We did a band called Molehill. We raised a few eyebrows. If you go back and look, you can find it on Bandcamp. Matt, who passed away, and Sonny, the guy taking pictures -- he played bass in Molehill. Now I'm 44 and still doing this shit. It's ridiculous. It's for the love of fucking music, man! That's why it pumps our nads to meet people like you, you know? Who enjoy listening to this shit!

I'm excited to listen to it, to be able to discover new heavy bands or obscure heavy bands that are definitely underground.

Bobby: Oh, we're definitely underground! (laughs)

That's why I'm glad to meet you, shake your hands, hear and feel your music live. We've been talking prior to this show about meeting up, being able to grab an interview in person, and especially grab some merch.

Shane: That is the most meaningful shit.

I've shared this show tonight for awhile now, psyched to finally be here.

Bobby: It was cool because I did know you from Facebook.

Shane: He said your name, I was like I know that fucking guy! Are you friends with Billy on there?

Uh...

Shane: Billy plays in Hexxus. Man I'm promoting all your shit today! He cut in three weeks before we were going to leave. We were going to cancel this shit! He came in and said, "Let's fucking do this, man."

Wow! Love to hear about stuff like that.

Billy: You don't have to twist my nipples to make me go on tour! (laughs) I do a lot of fill-in stuff because I'm self-employed. I can leave anytime. I do stuff in friends' bands. They hit me up two to three weeks before the tour and Bobby was like, "Can you fill in for this tour"? "Shit, bro. When do we practice? Let's go!"

I'm glad you did! I'm glad you guys trekked forward.

Shane: It's been a blast! This is the last night. I could go another six months, maybe.

Bobby: No! (laughs) You've run out of Molehill money!(laughs) He was homesick before he got to Ohio! (laughs)

Shane: I'm ready to see the wife. I'm excited! It's cool to be talking to Doomed and Stoned again, man! That's cool!

Yeah!

Shane: We were hoping that wasn't a one of a kind of thing.

Not if I have anything to do with it. I would like to keep in touch with you guys. I'd love to share or promote anything I can for you guys. Next year when your on tour with Come To Grief -- holy fuck!

Bobby: We are going to have a new album come out with Matt [Heath] on bass.

Shane: We have a CD coming out eventually. Excited! We were able to keep all bass lines and bass recordings. That was cool as shit. I am looking forward to that! Doing what the fuck ever! Try to have fun!

That's what it's all about, having fun. Life is too short.

Shane: Oh, exactly!

Live at The Boreal , Eugene, Oregon by Midmourner

You guys are from Birmingham? So Roll Tide?

Shane: Absolutely, man!

I'm from South Carolina, so I'm a Clemson fan!

Shane: Uggghhh, sorry man! (laughs)

I player hate on Alabama big time! I give em respect them even though Nick Saban is the devil (laughs)

Shane: I got to give it to you guys, you took it one year.

Renfrow sneakin in there! Whew!

Shane: Tua is the shit man! We're proud, man! It was good to almost see Clemson get beat by Syracuse again.

I was nervous as shit! They pulled it out. Lawrence had a concussion, Brice and the Tigers did it.

Shane: I'm kinda worried about LSU just a little bit.

I saw they beat Miami.

Shane: They beat Auburn, too. I think Georgia is going to fall.

On that note, I'm good with what I have from you guys. Is there anything else?

Shane: Find Midmourner on Bandcamp! Find the latest shit. We have a new CD coming out. We have a 10" split with Cavity coming up. Very fucking excited about that. They are personal heroes of ours! Somebody is putting out the new album on vinyl in Europe, so we will have a vinyl release which is fucking awesome! We are looking forward to the Coming To Grief tour. We got to find a bass player. If you know anybody that's interested. (laughs) Have the gear and the drive to do this shit and we can talk! It was fucking great talking to you, man.

Yes!

Shane: We appreciate it. We love Doomed And Stoned! Fucking cool man!

Bobby: Thanks for coming out!

Shane it was nice to meet you and finally see you guys live!

Shane: Very nice to meet you, too! It's nice to see the actual face behind the posts on Facebook. We have nothing but good things to say about Doomed And Stoned and Shawn Gibson!(laughs)

I've got nothing but nice things to say about Midmourner!

Shane: Thank you very much! It means so much more than people realize! You know, it keeps you going. Unfortunately, the post-tour depression begins now. We are going to get back out there and slug it out!

Hell, yeah!

Shane: Hopefully get back here. That's about it, appreciate the hell out of it!

Thanks again!

Shane: Thank you man! Doomed And Stoned all the way! There's Billy packing cigarettes! (laughs)

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[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Check My Heart Rate Because I Think I'm Falling For You Part 2

Summary: Sebastian takes a tumble on the set of Civil War and becomes enamored with the paramedic who arrives on the scene. But she decides to give him a hard time.

Chapter Summary: The second part no one asked for. 

Warnings: None just fluffy fluff

Also, I could’ve sworn there was a gif out there of Sebastian playing pool. If anyone can find it, please give me it. I can only find gifs of him IN a pool which isn’t too bad but doesn’t really correlate. 

           “Val!”

           She turned when she heard a nurse, Maggie, in the emergency room calling her over. “What’s up?” She wondered.

           “Someone brought you flowers.” The young nurse, who Val knew from crossing paths many times, smiled widely.

           “Really?” Val walked over to the nurse’s station with her and sure enough, a large bouquet of blue and purple flowers sat on the desk.

           “Mhm, do you know him?”

           “Uh…if I’m thinking it’s the guy I met then yes.” Val found the card among the petals and opened it.

           “You should’ve seen him, he was so handsome. He was wearing this leather jacket and jeans. Oh my God, he was so dreamy. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t speaking English when he started talking to me.”

           Val read over the note in disbelief.

           Valentina,

Thank you so much for our paramedic expertise. Doc says I have a small concussion but I’m on the mend. Should be back filming soon. Hopefully, we won’t run into each other again on the basis of medical emergencies. But I’d like to see you again when we’re both off work. Here’s my number so we can get in touch.

           Hope to see you soon,

           Sebastian

           “Wow…” Val whispered quietly. Even after all the grief, she gave him, he wanted to spend more time with her.

           “He was adorable, he asked if you were around but I told him he just missed you. I told him you’d probably be back soon and he was worried the flowers wouldn’t get to you. But I assured him I’d text you. There was also this little boy who broke his arm and recognized him. I guess he’s an actor or something, I didn’t know who he was. And he signed the boy’s cast. Isn’t that adorable?” Maggie squealed.

           “That’s pretty cute.” Val agreed. “So he brought them in himself?” She was impressed. Usually, if a boyfriend or potential boyfriend bought her flowers, they just had them delivered to her.

           “He said he wanted to see you.” Maggie shrugged.

           Val’s face turned red. “Wow, okay…I guess I should text him.” She put his number into her phone.

           “He gave you his number? Oh my God, lock him down.” The nurse replied sternly. There was a sharp beeping and she groaned. “This girl has been buzzing nonstop. She’s been demanding everything.” She rolled her eyes and got up.

           “Mags, will you keep these safe until my shift is over?”

           “Of course. I’ll keep a good eye on them.”

==============

           Val: Thank you so much for the flowers, they were beautiful. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you.

           Sebastian: No worries. You were out saving lives

           Val: Want to get dinner tomorrow? I’m working in the morning. Are you shooting anything?

           Sebastian: Nah, I’m done for the week. They postponed my scenes while I recover. We can get dinner.

           Val: Great, you can pick where we go. I don’t need anything fancy.

           Sebastian: There’s a good pub around the corner from the hospital. It’s casual; we can get a few drinks, shoot some pool.

           Val: Sounds fun. I’ll meet you there at eight?

           Sebastian: It’s a date. Can’t wait to see you.

======================

           Val stood by the entrance of the pub and checked her phone for the time again. She sighed when it read quarter after eight.

           She’d been thrilled to see Sebastian again. She spent hours trying to figure out the perfect outfit. One that was nice but didn’t try too hard. She settled on a skirt and a nice ruffled tank top paired with a jean jacket. She double-checked with Grace and got the thumbs-up. Now she was standing on the sidewalk, worried that she was about to be stood up.

           He was a nice, attractive actor who probably got hit on all the time. She was just an EMT from a small town. And she didn’t feel she was nearly as pretty as the actresses in Hollywood. She didn’t buy into the fakeness of LA. There was no point. If people didn’t like who she was naturally, then they could fuck right off. But she hoped Sebastian liked who she was.

           “I’m here, I’m here.” Sebastian came jogging down the sidewalk. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I know I’m late.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And I…” He paused when he looked at Val for the first time. “Shit.”

           She felt a huge amount of insecurity and her eyes widened. “What?”

           “Man, I thought you looked beautiful in your uniform but…damn, I didn’t think you could get more gorgeous.”

           Val smiled and ducked her head. “Stop, you know that’s not true.”

           “I’m not blind.” Sebastian scoffed. “But I am sorry for being late. I’ll make it up to you.” He promised.

           “It’s alright. It’s not like you were a few hours late.”

           “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m not stupid. I would never pass up an opportunity like this. Frankly, I’m just glad you texted me. I was worried the flowers would be a little much.” He admitted and opened the door into the bar for her.

           “No, they were perfect. They look beautiful in my tiny little kitchen.”

           He chuckled. “I’m glad you liked them. I wasn’t sure what your favorite color was but your uniform was blue so I just…it’s sort of stupid.”

           “No, I like blue. Purple is my favorite though, so you nailed that.”

           “Nice…glad I let the florist decide.” He laughed and grabbed a seat at the high-top tables for them. “So how was your day?” He asked as they got settled.

           Val lost herself in his eyes for a moment as he shrugged off his leather jacket. “I uh…” She was so close that she caught the scent of his cologne and almost melted. “It was good, pretty typical.”

           “Any dumb actors with concussions?” He grinned cheekily.

           “Can’t say there were. I did save Natalie Portman’s life though.”

           “Shut up, you did?”  

           Val giggled and shook her head. “You’re the first actor I’ve treated. The first actor I’ve met actually.”

           “How long have you lived in LA?” He wove his fingers together and rested his hands on the table, just centimeters away from hers.

           “A few years. I grew up in Nevada.”

           “And you’ve never met an actor?” He raised an eyebrow.

           “Well, I’m always working so…” She shrugged. “I might have run into one though and I just didn’t know it. I mean I didn’t really recognize you.” She reminded him. “But! I did watch Captain America!”

           He smiled shyly. “You did?”

           “Yeah, you were pretty cute. Sorry, you died…wait if you died then why are you filming with them?” She realized for the first time.

           “Well, that would be unfair if I spoiled it for you. You’re just going to have to watch the rest of them.”

           “Alright…maybe we can watch them together?” She tilted her head to the side. “Unless this date goes really bad and I find out you’re a selfish douchebag.”

           “Have you gotten that impression so far?” He wondered.

           “No…you seem different than most of the people in LA or in your line of work I guess. I knew this one girl who worked on the set of a movie as like an intern and she automatically assumed she was better than me because she rubbed elbows with Hollywood’s elite.” Val rolled her eyes.

           “People who work on movies aren’t better than anyone. Hell, you’re probably better than me because you actually help people. I just stand in front of a camera and talk.”

           “Judging people isn’t really my thing.” Val shrugged and fiddled with the salt shaker on the table. “I either like someone or I don’t. It doesn’t matter status, it’s about their personality.”

           “That sounds perfectly reasonable.”

           “And I like you.” She admitted and glanced up at him sheepishly.

           He smiled genuinely. “I like you too.”

====================

           “Tell me you’ve played pool before.”

           “I can’t say I’ve actually seriously tried.” Val grabbed the cue Sebastian was handing her.

           “This is going to get really cliché, okay? Because I’m going to stand behind you and teach you how to play. And you’re going to swoon over how manly I am. And I’m going to realize how absolutely perfect you are.” He said with a dead-serious look on his face.

           Val giggled. “Then could we just skip this part because I think we’re already there?”

           “Nah, it’ll be cute.” He situated himself behind her and placed his hands over hers. “And by the end of the game, I’m going to kiss you.”

           Val’s hands shook slightly and she couldn’t believe this was really happening to her. Gently held in his arms, feeling his warmth, inhaling his scent, and listening to his gentle, low voice was too much for her. She felt faint but she couldn’t let him get the last word.

           “Well, if I win, I’m going to kiss you.”

           He chuckled and his cheek grazed her hair. “Fair enough. I win both ways though.” He pointed out.

           “Me too.”

           Once it was all said and done, Sebastian won the game. But it didn’t matter to Val. Because he walked around the table and took her cheeks in his hands. It was like there wasn’t anyone else in the bar. He kept her close and his eyes flicked over her face briefly.

           Val licked her bottom lip and nodded slightly to give him the go-ahead. He smiled slightly and leaned in to kiss her. He was right about one thing; it was every cliché she’d ever heard of.

           Her ears were ringing as she felt sparks jolting down her spine. The only thought in Val’s head was the way his lips felt. Her knees buckled and she wondered how she had missed out on this experience her entire life. Maybe because she just hadn’t met the right guy. Sebastian was that guy.

           His thumb brushed over her cheek as he drew away. “Wow…” He breathed and the tip of his nose brushed against her cheekbone. “Uh…I think my brain just short-circuited.”

           Val laughed softly and nodded. “Yeah, I totally know how that feels. It just happened to me too.”

           “Want to see if it happens again?” His eyes sparkled and he moved one hand to her waist.

           “Well if we don’t try we’ll never know.”

           “Exactly my thoughts.” He pulled her closer and kissed her again. She did everything she could to not lose her mind completely but he had some sort of effect on her. It was like a drug and her heart raced uncontrollably. It was dizzying but she craved more.

           They pulled away for air and Sebastian laughed. “Yeah, wow, I could get used to this.”

           “I think you need to check my heart rate,” Val whispered.

           “Yeah? Might as well check mine too.”

           She grabbed his shirt to pull him back to her lips.

Part 1

[kwispayne]

The Top 10 Films Of The Decade (2010-2019)

This decade for film was fantastic. Blockbusters coming out from every corner, the superhero genre dominating the market with actual quality and directors pushing out their greatest work with a freer range of ability. There has been alot of stinkers too, but I think the quality outweighs the dirge, if not in quantity. 

So here are some rules:

1. I may have changed my opinion from previous lists. Sometimes things stick…sometimes they don’t.

2. I didn’t see every film this decade. But I am open to recommendations.

3. This is all personal opinion. And my tastes are odd.

10. Nocturnal Animals (Tom Ford)

Year of release: 2016

While A Simple Man saw Tom Ford step into the film world as if he had been here for years, Nocturnal Animals saw him throw down the glove as one of the most stylistic and vibrant ones currently active. For a man to go from the fashion world into this is really something to be admired. But the best thing about his movies, as glitzy and glum as they look, the stories and how he presents the narrative is most impressive. He does not take the audience on easy ride, both with content and order, but the pay off is earned completely in this film. Also the cast he chose was spectacular, but the biggest props has to be given to Aaron Taylor Johnson who plays one the greatest villains I have ever seen in the past few years.

9. Sightseers (Ben Wheatley)

Year of release: 2012

What started off as a stage show got turned into one of the most memorable and funniest comedies to come out in the past few years. Now, Ben Wheatley's most recent filmography has been brilliant, but I think this is his underlooked masterpiece, as it takes his earlier style and accentuates Steve Oram & Alice Lowe's hilarious writing and acting. A movie not for the faint hearted, it really delves into really odd places to pull laughs. Also, Wheatley's odd cult and psychedelic obsession also bodes well to the really obtuse and odd tone of the film. I can still watch this and get a laugh.

8. Arrival (Denis Villeneuve)

Year of release: 2016

The biggest plead and cause for humanity to come together I have seen in a very long time. Denis Villeneuve's filmography has also been fantastic this decade, but overall this is his hidden masterpiece, as it's subtly is what makes it so powerful. Effects wise, the film looks spectacular and incredibly life like.  The cast do a fantastic job, but what really is the hook is the fantastic screenplay.

7. I Saw The Devil (Kim Jee-woon)

Year of release: 2010

When it comes to revenge movies, the Koreans are the best. Previously Park Chan-wook was the king of revenge films with the Revenge Trilogy being a prime example, but Kim Jee-woon has put his eyes on the crown with this mad dark twisted tale of a serial killer being hunted like game from the husband of one of his victims. Choi Min-sik does an amazing performance as a villain who does unspeakable crimes, but his torture is almost sympathetic, while the hero Lee Byung-hun has the hardest job of all, playing a hero doing the most unthinkable things in the spirit of revenge. Bloody, gory and constantly entertaining.

6. The Greasy Strangler (Jim Hoskings)

Year of release: 2016

This is on this list for all the wrong reasons. Unimaginably disgusting and asburdingly annoying, this film can't get out of my head. And after some of my friends saw it, we can's stop quoting it to each other, to the point where we can verbally speak most of the dialogue from scenes. Jim Hosking is a film-maker who is going to make really weird shit in the next few years. His sense of humour is so unique, its hypnotising. He's my rootie tootie disco cutie.

5. Calvary (John Michael McDonagh)

Year of release: 2014

After making a hilarious debut with The Guard, John Michael McDonagh surprised everyone with this dark comedy drama about a priest who has been threatened with murder from an anonymous source. But instead of it being a Guess Who, it's a character study of those closest to him. Brendan Gleeson's performance is fantastic, but the surprise of this film is the dramatic performances from Chris O'Dowd & Dylan Moran who usually are confined to comic roles. Not many people have seen this film, and I highly recommend this one for fans of fantastic screenplays.

4. Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino)

Year of release: 2013

Tarantino before this had made his masterpieces, so this movie really was just an add on to a continuous streak. But one of the reasons its on this list is for the pure enjoyment from it. Now the subject matter behind it is very bleak, and it can almost be a distraction, but Tarantino approaches it with an honorable style. The screenplay itself is fantastic, but the real joy of the movie is watching Jamie Fox, Christoph Waltz & Leonardo DiCaprio battle for chewing the scenery. Any excuse to watch this movie is a good excuse.

3. The Wolf Of Wall Street (Leonardo DiCaprio)

Year of release: 2014

Speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio chewing the scenery, this film is pretty much nothing but that. Ok that's a lie, Jonah Hill and Margo Robbie are also battling for a piece too. But besides the fantastic acting, this film is highly entertaining to an almost pornographic level, full of sex, drugs and excess. But it comes with a price, and Scorcese in pure Goodfellas style has made the consequences dire and to a point, rather absurd. It's 3 hours, but once its over, you want to watch it again.

2. Polisse (Maïwenn)

Year of release: 2011

Who ever thought that blue haired alien from The Fifth Element would have made one of all time favourite films. Maïwenn's screenplay and directing in this is top notch, even to a point where she's an actor in the film, who is  a photographer and journalist, to witness the events what's going on and reporting back to the audience (now that's what I call meta). The emotions in this film are high, going from drama to comedy, which sounds odd when it comes to the subject matter, but it just shows what life is like whenever you have one of the world's most stressful and emotional jobs. The acting is fantastic, but the real star is JoeyStarr, who before this film was a rapper. Another example of taking someone from one art to another to get a perfect performance. Emotionally draining but a fantastic spectacle.

1. Tyrannosaur (Paddy Considine)

Year of release: 2011

Wow, 2011 was one good year for film. I have always been a fan of Paddy Considine as an actor, and I was glad to know that he was going into directing (his previous writing in Dead Man's Shoes is fantastic). So what we got was a very very bleak film about a man dealing with depression and grief who finds friendship with a carefree Christian with a dark secret. The acting in this film is one for the record books. Peter Mullan and Eddie Marsden give fantastic performances, but Olivia Coleman steals the show with one of the most emotional performances I have ever seen on screen (she deserved that Oscar years before she got one, and I am very glad her acting talents are now being recognised). This is probably the best film ever made.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #262

“Staff Meetings, Tantrum, Big Fire Punch”

[Notch] shouts for Cp and the force of his irritation rocks the foundations of Lie's house slightly-

[Lie] Stirs awake in the bed, CP had wandered off somewhere- The hell?

[Notch] Bangs urgently on her door-

[Lie] Grumpily she gets out of bed and wraps a blanket around herself before going to open the door- Notch?

[Notch] Is standing there holding his phone and shaking a little bit- Where is Cp?!

[Lie] - At the moment I don't know...  Why?

[Notch] Because I'm in a- a- conference call and I need him! It was bad enough he scared my old collegues half to death but he put one of them to sleep and now they can't wake him up!

[Lie] - Oh for fucks sake...  Hang on a sec, I'll see if I can't get him here...- She closes her eyes and sends out a mental tendril for her husband.  Within a moment he's there, slinking out of the shadows to wrap himself around her

[Notch] Cp.... Wake. Tokig. up.

[CP] - Who?

[Notch] Holds up the phone so the camera is on Cp. He can easily see the image of a conference room and several frightened faces. There's a heavyset man laying prone and still on the table-

[CP] - Oh yeah...  Him...  And I want to do this why?

[Lie] - CP I will extend the no sex indefinitely...

[CP] - Oh come on!  Why!?

[Notch] DO IT. You're fucking lucky they're still my friends, or you might have put the whole server in danger!

-Faint sound of Jeb being amused that Cp is getting yelled at-

[CP] Grumbles but does release a ripple of his power- Wake up

[Tokig] Wakes with a panicked gasp of air-

[CP] - Happy now?

[Lie] - You're sleeping on the couch

[Notch] Gritted teeth- Yeeeessss

[Lie] Looks at the others on the screen- I apologize for my husband, some of his old habits are still a bit...  Strong

[Fangbo] Are we in any danger?

[Lie] - No, not unless the SCP takes any interest in you

[CP] - Liiiiiiiiie

[Lie] - No

[CP] - Oh come on

[Lie] - If you keep acting like a cat then I will turn you into one

[Yster] I did kinda hit him with a clipboard and pepper spray....

[CP] - Eh, pepper spray only tingles a little

[Lie] - Of course it would for you...

[Jeb] Snickers at Cp a little bit-

[Notch] Good grief-

[CP] - I heard that

[Jeb] Little frightened gulp-

[CP] - Can we go to bed now?

[Lie] - Uh what is this we you're talking about?  I just told you you're on the couch tonight

[Drona] Markus... is there anything we can do for you?

[Notch] No... I'm stuck. But it beats being dead and it's usually really peaceful here.

[CP] - I mean, I could always take you back out so you can regain a physical form

[Notch] And be in horrible pain for several weeks... I'm not ready for that.

[CP] - It wouldn't be that long

[Jeb] So why did you want that super old server anyway?

[CP] Thumbs at Notch- His girlfriend

[Notch] Blushes- Giving it to her keeps her protected. I don't know what I'd do if she got deleted...

[Jeb] sudden suprise - That was her server?!

[Lie] - Also CP's original

[Fangbo] You're dating a server?

[Jeb] That means that his NOTCH.... wow.... one of the first ones...

[Notch] Yeah...

[Fangbo] Excuse me, I think we're glossing over the fact that he's dating an AI...

[Tokig] Who's doing what now?!

[Fangbo] Markus is dating an AI.

[Tokig] Oh.... is she hot?

[Notch] Flustered - Yes and in addition; shut up.

[Lie] - She's also very powerful, an embodiment of magic

[Yster] Like occult stuff? Or she can mess with the software and make the physics fail and whatnot?

[CP] - That would be more Deer, Flux's magic is more raw, like what allows crafting to work

[Jeb] Basically making his collegue look bad- She's also hot. And often randomly naked.  

[Tokig] Niiiiice.

[Drona] Eye roll-

[Lie] - Deer is another server

[Fangbo] I feel like I'm going insane...

[Notch] I can imagine. I'm sorry to drag you all into this. But you need to understand the gravity of the situation. It's so important that this is kept secret. We actually know someone who can wipe memories, but you're still my friends and I don't want to do that to you.

[Yster] Thank you then.

[CP] - Plus Slender may actually try to eat them

[Tokig] SLENDER?!

[Drona] Okay, now you have to be messing with us!

[CP] - Why do you think I'm referred to as CP?

[Jeb] Because you're a serial cock puncher?

[Fangbo] Can't help but laugh-

[Notch] He's got you there...

[CP] Growls-

[Lie] - It's because he's a creepy pasta

[Tokig] Scootches off the table and goes underneath it instead-

[Lie] - Mind you he's gotten much better since coming here

[Jeb] He's still assaulted me several times...

[Lie] - Yeah there's still a ways to go

[Notch] We're working on it. He's still a stubborn Herobrine.

[Drona] Markus? If we code things for you, can you install mods?

[Notch] No. But I can go to other seeds and bring items in.

[Lie] - What do you have in mind?

[Drona] I'm not sure. It was just a thought. Do you need anything?

[Lie] Not off the top of my head...- She leans back into CP for the warmth

[CP] - How about something to counteract my NOTCH's fucking sword?

[Jeb] I thought your NOTCH was dead?

[CP] - The...- Turns his head away a little- The original one is...

[Notch] He means Harvestman Jeb... the bastard has a sword that deletes things.

[Yster] Harvestman is after you guys?! Are you the ones that fucked him up?

[CP] - I wish...

[Lie] Shudders a little-

[Jeb] He hasn't encountered another NOTCH or brine for at least two weeks, but he's acting like he's fresh from battle when the system checks on him. I caught a glimpse of him a few days ago while he was crossing an empty series of test seeds, he was limping and coughing up blood.

[Notch] He was what?!

[Lie] - Probably Dawns doing...

[CP] - Fucker

[Notch] Anything helps... I didn't know you could curse an AI that effectively.

[Lie] There's a soft glow barely visible under the blanket wrapped around Lie as she tries to calm CP down-

[Fangbo] Who's Dawn?

[Notch] She's a witch. Irl. And thankfully a friend of ours. Not someone you want to allienate.

[CP] - Is there a reason you're still standing in our doorway?

[Notch] Yes. I'm going to walk you to the couch and then finish my call.

[CP] - I do not need you to walk me!?

[Notch] Is already moving. - Lie?

[Lie] - Take him, the couch is down in his private chambers

[Notch] Takes Cp's arm in his free hand and tugs on him-

[CP] - Fucker let go!

[Lie] Waves at her husband before heading back to the bedroom- Your son might be grumpy about going to bed!

[Lie] Is at the bar the next day around noon, she's enjoying a rather nice chat with Sam-

[Doc] Opens the door and holds it so Yaunfen can trot in first.

[Yaunfen] Walks in in human form- Food!  Food!

[Sam] Waves merrily, spreading his hands to indicate they should ask for something.

[Lie] Yawns, still tired from the previous night-

[Doc] Done at the library and now it's time for lunch huh?

[Yaunfen] - Uh-huh!  And then more library!

[Doc] Don't you think we got enough? You should read what you have and then we'll get more. - Makes a circular gesture and Sam nods before heading back to the kitchen.

[Yaunfen] - But...  But...  Books!

[Doc] I know. Books are awesome. I'm proud of you for wanting to learn.

[Lie] - Hey Doc.

[Doc] Hey Lie. I take it you didn't sleep too well?

[Lie] - Not exactly...  Notch woke me up in the middle of the night

[Doc] That's weirdly rude for him.

[Sam] Comes back with a bacon pizza for Doc and a very large flat cookie covered with icing and sprinkles for Yaunfen

[Lie] - That's because CP did a little more than just get Flux's server when he went out

[Yaunfen] Takes the cookie- Thank you

[Doc] I saw him come and go on the chat in the morning. - Takes a slice and gestures for her to take some if she wants. - Thank you Sam.

[Lie] - He ran into some of Notch's former employees and put one of them to sleep- Accepts the offer

[Doc] Groans- Does he have to fucking.... Ugh! Do I need to do any damage control? Bribe anyone?

[Lie] - I don't think so, I think between CP terrorizing them, Notch, and Jeb they might have it.  Honestly Notch's employees seemed more concerned about him

[Doc] I'm glad they still care about him. I think he was hard done by, getting pushed out like that. - nomming-

[Lie] Lets out a little laugh- Notch actually dragged CP down to his private chambers last night to make certain he was sleeping on the couch like I requested, he was that mad

[Doc] Wow.... He's gonna put me to shame with this dad thing. But I guess it's nice to not be alone in curbing his less pleasant tendancies.

[Lie] - I may have also griefed him just a tiny bit...

[eddy and Edward] -run into the bar Edward clearly pretending to chase eddy with snake holding onto Edward-

[Doc] YOU? What did you do Lie?! Oh hey kids! What's up?

[Lie] - I may have mentioned just loudly enough while Notch was leaving with CP, for the others to hear, that CP is his son...

[eddy and Edward] -wave before climbing on to one of the bar stools-

[Doc] Pats Lie on the shoulder - Considering all the times he's embarassed you...? That's more then fair.

[Sam] Looks over the bar at the little visitors motioning for them to order if they want.

[Lie] - It did feel a little good...

[Yaunfen] Has gotten cookie crumbs everywhere-

[Doc] Snickers- I take it Cp is sulking? Likely in a tree someplace? Having fun there kiddo?

[Lie] - And avoiding Notch, if it hadn't been so late Notch may have berated him a bit more

[Yaunfen] Nods- We go back to books?

[Doc] Not gonna let me eat first? - still nomming

[Yaunfen] - BOOKS!

[Sam] Has a sudden thought and pulls out a bowl of dragonwort-

[Doc] Gives Sam an eyebrow- That's an odd thought, but it might work.

[snake] -is curled up on Edwards head-

[Doc] Do you guys want to try the plant Lie made for the dragons? It's nice and dry and the leaves are sweet and soft.

[eddy and Edward] -tries some of the dragon wart and they like it and start noming on it-

[Doc] Want a little pepper or something? It's so weird to think of eating everything dry.

[Lie] Yawns again-

[Edward] -shakes his head-

[Doc] So how long is he in the cat house for this time?

[Lie] - Don't know yet

[Yaunfen] Tugs on Doc's coattails-

[Doc] Yes?

[Yaunfen] - More books?

[Doc] I can't, your inventory is full remember? You should have emptied it before you left the house. [Each book takes up one slot]

[Yaunfen] Whines- But I want more!

[Doc] Pats them on the head - I know. Sometimes you have to do things in moderation though. Besides, the library is for sharing. You can't hog everything.

[Yaunfen] Puffs cheeks out in irritation and stomps a little- But I want!

[Doc] Now, now, don't be like that. It makes you sound like Cp!

[Yaunfen] Suddenly flops to the floor and starts banging their fists and kicking their feet- I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT!

[Doc] Side eyes Lie- Ummm... Yaunfen...? Don't do that please. Are you over-stimulated?

[Yaunfen] As they let out a scream the floor begins to shake with each hit-

[Lie] - Sometimes they just have to get it out of their system

[Doc] Whoah! Yaunfen?! Stop that! You're going to shake the bar down!

[Sam] Looks panicked [since it is daylight outside.]

[Lie] Sighs and approaches Yaunfen- That's enough Yaunfen, naughty dragons don't get to take any books home

[Yaunfen] - But...  But...

[Lie] - No buts

[snake] -fall on to the floor-

[eddy and Edward] -starts making panicked ender sounds-

[Doc] Is still marvelling that they managed to shake the build around them - Yaunfen...

[Yaunfen] Just lays on the floor crying now-

[Lie] - I think somebody may need a nap...

[Doc] Sits down on the floor and gathers them into hir lap - It's okay.  Nobody is mad at you. You just got over-exicited. Lets just slow down a little.

[Yaunfen] Sniffles and rubs eyes-

[Doc] Kisses them on the forehead- That was some pretty hard hitting you were doing.

[Yaunfen] - But books...

[Lie] - The books will still be there Yaunfen

[Doc] I think you're going to help me harvest sugarcanes. Then we can make even more raw books that I can fill up for you.

[Yaunfen] Tiny voice- Okay...

[Doc] Smooths Yaunfen's long locks - Feeling a little better?

[Yaunfen] Nods a little-

[Doc] Gives them a hug- And I think we might be on to something too. Wait... - gets a naughty smile- Maybe we should talk to Cp for a bit-

[Lie] Gives Doc a questioning look-

[Doc] Carries Yaunfen outside. [They can still pick up their child when Yaunfen is in hir humanoid form] They shift to their own dragon form so the little one can lay between the doctors shoulder spirals. - I'll walk slow. You nap. - and they set off at a snails pace towards Lie's house. Counting on the rocking motion to soothe the small dragon.

[Yaunfen] Yawns and does fall asleep-

[CP] Is up in his pouting tree-

[Doc] Curls up around the base of the tree. Xe's okay with just waiting to be noticed since Yaunfen is napping.

[Doc] Gives a soft little yawn of hir own. Just full of food and warm in the sunshine.

[CP] - The fuck do you want?

[Doc] Not so loud. I just wanted to pick your brain a little. You are the resident baby dragon expert.

[CP] - What is it?

[Doc] Yaunfen had a little outburst and managed to punch and kick the bar floor hard enough to shake the building.

[CP] - ... Okay?

[Doc] You have more experience teaching people to use emerging powers then I do. I think it's an interesting development.

[CP] - Probably one of its powers

[Doc] I hope so. They need something to defend with. -Xe gives Yaunfen a gentle nuzzle with hir nose. - poor child can't even fly. It seems rather unfair.

[CP] - Anything else?

[Doc] I don't know...

[CP] - Then fuck off, I don't want Notch to know where I am

[Doc] it's not like he's vindictive. He already yelled at you once.

[CP] - He used the dad voice

[Doc] Does that really bother you?

[CP] - It's a bit unsettling, voices should not be able to do that... Unless your from Skyrim

[Doc] ... Cp... He's just worried. Wait... You're not... Does it scare you when he does that?

[CP] - NnnnnnnnYes!- Clamps hand over mouth

[Doc] Oh, Cp, you know he cares about you. Even when you're being bad, I don't think he'd hurt you on purpose.

[CP] - Shut up! I didn't mean to say that!

[Doc] It's okay to feel vulnerable around your loved ones, and it's okay to trust people too. Heck, Deerheart could smash me if she really wanted too. But I know she loves me, so I don't worry about it.

[CP] Huffs and grumbles- It's not like he hasn't been more of a father figure than the other two...

[Doc] He really wants the job, so he's doing his best.

[CP] Groans- Well congrats, he's better than the other two- Realizes what he said and curses under his breath

[Doc] Smiles- I'll let him know. It's seems like you've had a productive meditation up there today. Planning on apologizing to Lie when she comes home?

[CP] - No, she hit me with honesty pollen

[Doc] Oh! I was wondering. No wonder you wanted me to go away. I know how much it kills you to be nice to me.

[CP] Growls-

[Doc] Steps up the air blocks in a spiral around the tree until Xe's level with Cp and smiles softly - love you brother brine.

[CP] - Fuck off!  And you will not repeat what I just said!

[Doc] Okay then, I think he already knows... Now it's just a matter of reconnecting with your beleaguered brother.

[CP] Glares-

[Doc] teeny tiny smile-

[CP] - Go away Doc, you're making it obvious where I am

[Doc] We could go somewhere else?

[CP] - How about you just go away instead

[Doc] Come on Cp, come play with us. We're gonna make a mess. - Xe gently grabs him with a paw and puts him on hir mane- it'll take your mind off things

[CP] - No

[Doc] pfft. You're just sulking anyway. And Markus won't know where you are if you come with us. - trots across the air heading for the desert-

[CP] - I will stab you, you fucker

[Doc] Shhh, you'll wake the baby- Xe lands in the sand and heads around the side of the shrine towards the signaling tower.

[CP] - Why are we here?

[Doc] it's a good place to punch things- Xe lets him down and shifts under Yaunfen so they end up in hir arms-

[CP] Just floats in the air-

[Doc] Bumps open the door - come on-

[CP] - No

[Doc] Please?

[CP] Glares-

[Doc] Nudges Yaunfen- sweetie? We're home.

[Yaunfen] Sleepy mumbles as they curl in closer to Doc- Mada...

[Doc] Cuddles them - Wake up little one.

[Yaunfen] Eyes open- Mada?

[Doc] Yep. Come on, I need you to walk a little since Cp won't come in without being pushed.

[Yaunfen] - Okay...  Down please

[Doc] Lets them down gently with a pat on the head-

[Yaunfen] Smiles and then watches Doc walk back towards CP-

[Doc] Gets a sly look and rushes Cp, changing and dipping underground before reaching him-

[CP] tries to dart upwards and away-

[Doc] Arches gracefully up behind him and uses hir snout to shove him bodily through the open door and down the stairs before stopping him at the bottom by grabbing his belt

[CP] - FUCKER!

[Yaunfen] Giggles- Again!  Again!

[Doc] Goes past him, slipping in and out of the walls like a ghost - Well this is as far as I was going to go-

[Buff] Pokes his head out a room that's set alongside the stairs- What's all the ruckus?

[Doc] Shifts back and drops onto the floor with a clack of boots. - Just a bit of fun.

[CP] - Refuses to move any farther as Yaunfen slips past and hurries to Doc-

[Doc] We were gonna hit the little gym for a bit-

[Buff] That sounds like a great idea!

[Doc] Cp is just being stubborn as usual-

[Buff] Big grin- Is he now?

[CP] - Fuck off!

[Buff] Goes eye to eye with Cp - Maybe he just needs a big hug?

[CP] Darts backwards with a growl- No!

[Buff] Aww come on Cp. We could box! - Hops around a bit holding his fists up playfully-

[CP] Growls and flexes his fingers a little, considering summoning his sword-

[Doc] Play nice guys. - Xe takes Cp's shirttail and awkwardly tugs him sideways into the little gym.

[CP] Still growling-

[Doc] Now. Cp I have a request you'll like. Please teach Yaunfen how to throw a proper punch. And use the bag. Not me!

[Buff] Good save. Hehe

[CP] - Why?

[Doc] Because. I want to see if they can replicate what happened in the bar by focusing.

[CP] - And if I don't want to?

[Doc] You're passing up a chance to both teach and punch things?

[Buff] Gives Yaunfen a pat - They're silly aren't they?

[CP] - Teaching a child...  When my wife is already mad at me...  To fight

[Doc] You taught Stevie how to use a sword...

[CP] - That was different

[Doc] Expectant stare-

[Yaunfen] - Is big fire sick?  Mada says big fire likes fighting...

[CP] - It's true!

[Buff] I think he's just holding off to annoy your mada.

[Doc] Yeah it's different in that swords are more dangerous.

[CP] - And it was necessary, Stevie and I were the only ones there, I had to teach him in case something did happen

[Doc] And you think my child shouldn't at least know the most basic move for protecting oneself? Even the weakest Steve can punch a tree down.

[CP] - Then teach them yourself, unless you don't know how

[Yaunfen] - But your big fire...  You're strongest...

[CP] Growls a little-

[Doc] You're going to disappoint under that banner Cp?

[CP] Glares- Fine.  Show me what you can do kid

[Yaunfen] Trots over to the punching bag...  Only to start crying as they are splattered with blood- Mada!

[Doc] Hey I said we were going to make a mess! I've seen you gleefully get paint everywhere kiddo.

[Yaunfen] Cries a little- This is icky and smells bad!

[CP] Laughs a little-

[Doc] Okay. I'll turn the drip coding off. - Xe runs hir hands over Yaunfen and flicks all the bloody pixels onto the floor.

[Buff] Gives Cp a pointed look for laughing.

[Yaunfen] - No more icky?

[Doc] No more icky. Cp likes that kind of thing though. The amount of splatter shows how hard you're hitting too. - Xe fiddles with a bag a bit and slaps a button on the ceiling above it. the Doctor pokes the button with a stick and the bag goes suddenly dry.

[CP] - Try again kid

[Yaunfen] Doesn't look sure but does try again, this time when they punch there is no splatter-

[CP] Watches and approaches, beginning to correct things-

[Buff] Slides over and picks up the big dumbell, lifting it up and down in one hand and then the other.

[Doc] Watches proudly-

[Yaunfen] Keeps attacking the bag with small corrections from CP-

[Doc] Try and replicate what you did before. You were really hitting the floor with some crazy strength.

[Yaunfen] - I don't know...

[Buff] Oh, are they showing some powers Doc?

[Doc] Perhaps. Try focusing on something that fires you up. Imagine the bag is someone mean you don't like.

[Yaunfen] Frowns and tries hitting again, thinking about DN.  There are several small punches, but the last one sends the bag swinging wildly with a bit of power-

[Buff] Whoah!

[Doc] There we go! That had some serious weight behind it!

[CP] Steps back, wondering if he can slink away-

[Yaunfen] - I did it!  I did it!

[Doc] You did! I'm so proud of you! - Subtly blocks Cp from going out the door- Thoughts Cp?

[CP] - They've got the basics down, don't know what to think of their power

[Doc] I'm just imagining what that would be like in a donkey kick instead of a punch...

[CP] - I think that's more your area to teach

[Doc] On the contrary, it might be Lie's area. I'm too long in the tail to do good donkey kicks.

[CP] - How would it be her area?

[Doc] Duh. She trains horses. I heard about her impromptu lesson with Steve and China. And Yaunfen is horse-sized now.

[CP] - No

[Doc] No what? I can call her. Tell her how helpful you're being and ask for her assistance.

[CP] - Just fuck off and let me leave

[Doc] You don't want to be around for me praising you in front of her?

[CP] Flips Doc off as he shoves past them-

[Buff] Thanks Cp!

[Doc] Chuckles- Hey Yaunfen? Want to have auntie Lie teach you something next?

[Yaunfen] - Yeah!

[Doc] We should probably go outside though. It's too close in here and the quartz floor of the shrine is too slippery. - types- Hey Lie? Are you busy?

[Lie] - Still eating, why?

[Doc] Are you still at the bar?

[Lie] - Yeah

[Doc] Okay. I'll come to you. Hey Yaunfen, in the mood for a faster ride this time?

[Yaunfen] Nods eagerly-

[Buff] Puts a towel around his neck. - Mind if I come?

[Doc] Goes to say yes and shakes hir head as he gets close - UGH! Take a dip first. Please and thank you.

[Yaunfen] Sneezes a little-

[Buff] Heh! Sure. - He jumps into the pool at the back of the room and does a quick scrub before coming back out.

[Doc] That's better. You were a bit ripe. - Xe walks the two of them outside and shifts quickly, scooping them up and shooting crazily into the sky. Xe makes a point to zoom closely past Cp walking home and do a tight barrel roll overhead-

[agentdagonet]

Echoes, Ch. 8

can’t believe I forgot to put the last 2 chapters of Echoes up here. Seeing as I’m about to upload chapter 9, I’ll put 7 and 8 up beforehand. Thanks for sticking around, guys!

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

        And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

          'Why did we watch this again?' The credits are going, and a film Eggsy would love to erase from his memory is finally over. 'Rotten Tomatoes said it was good!'           'The popcorn was empty Rox, tha' means people didn't like it!' '40 percent isn't an awful rating, and we did say we were going to watch a shitty film.'           'There are limits! If I had a time machine the first thing I'd do is prevent this shit from existing!'

          'Really? The first thing you'd do with the ability to go back in time is stop this shitfest from existing?' He knows what she's getting at, but he can't think of that, not just then. He still needed time.           'It's called the butterfly effect, Rox, changin' one thing can affect a million others- who knows what erasing this film would do to the future! Imagine the good I could do!'           'Wow, Eggs' I'd never've guessed you knew about the butterfly effect- so full of surprises.'           'Oh, fuck off.' He shoves her off the arm of the couch, and she thumps to the ground with a yelp. He pretends he did it for comedic effect, but knows he did it to distract himself. He didn't need more will-o'-wisps of Harry in the house. 'Gotta have shit to impress the birds with, y'get me? An' alright some of the blokes, too; but I've always been wicked smart when I wanna be.'           'Sure you have, Eggsy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.' She pats his shoulder, nods sympathetically, and that's what pushes things from teasing to all out war.

          'Oi!' He throws a pillow in her general direction, sure to avoid the greasy pizza boxes sitting on the table in front of him. It knocks the glass from her hand, thankfully empty, and serves its purpose.           The night passes with relative ease, thankfully. The pillow war had resulted in them both being far too tired to move, and instead they had ended up cuddled up in the wreckage- JB curled up at their feet. Unfortunately, good things can't last, and they're woken by Roxy's glasses ringing from the coffee table.

          'Yes, Merlin?' She's stood up, all proper posture despite there being no one to impress, and faced the wall. He guesses it's a concentration thing, or maybe she (rightfully) thinks Eggsy would be making crass gestures and funny faces at her. Small pleasures.           'I'll be right in.' It's fucking weird to only hear half a conversation, but Eggsy's pretty sure he wouldn't have paid much attention even if he could hear. Being half asleep does that.           'I'm sorry to cut this short, Eggs-' She froze, mouth still open, eyes focused on something by the stairwell that he couldn't see. Sitting down on the floor made it difficult to see past couches and such.           'S'okay, Rox, Kingsman comes first- wouldn't have you withou' them now would I? ...Rox?' He waved a hand in front of her face, which wasn't such a smart idea because a startled Roxy is a dangerous Roxy, and she gripped his wrist so tightly he was certain it would bruise.           'How the fuck is Harry Hart in your house?'           'Oh, that don't you worry about it; it's just a thing Harry had that turned on after he died to show us his Will. You can ask Merlin and everythin'- why d'you think I don't wear my specs inside?' please don't ask anything else, please don't ask for details, I don't think I can say more without breaking, please, please, please... She looked at him for a moment, head tilted slightly, before she nodded.

          'Merlin's backing you up, so I guess I believe you; but, can't you just turn it off? I mean, Eggsy, avoiding a problem doesn't make it go away, you know? You've got to let him go; I don't like seeing you in pain.' She looks at him like one would look at a natural disaster from a distance- with pity and immeasurable sadness- and it takes everything in him not to scream. Can't you see I'm trying? But that wouldn't help anyone.

          'Dunno how to turn it off- not like Harry left instructions, we don't even know how it turned on. Or how it works, honestly. So I'm just working around it. We'll figure it out.' They're empty words, things he has no real intention of expanding on, but they placate Roxy into leaving. A mission can't be delayed for too long- they are, after all, usually matters of international importance- and he's incredibly glad to see her leave.           Roxy's an incredible mate, she is, but she had too much distance between herself and her emotions to really sympathise with him. Or maybe it was that Eggsy didn't have enough space between himself and his emotions. He was the one who was out of whack, not her. That made a fair bit more sense- she wasn't nearly as messed up as he was. It was probably just another defect of his.

          'Fuuuuuuuuuck.' Eggsy flopped backward onto the floor. He was messed up. He was living his life to the standard of a man who would never see the results. He was so set against actually working through his grief that he'd snapped at his mum and ran out on her.           (Though, honestly, it wasn't like she'd been all that sensitive in how she'd tried to tackle the issue, right? "Hey a guy you know came to tell me about how your dad died, also why are you crying about his dead mate over a year later?" is just not a tactful way to try to deal with an emotional situation. At least, he didn't think it was. Was it? He doubted a lot of things, at the moment)           He'd apologise, once he knew what to say. It wasn't like there was one of those self-help books "what to do when your mentor dies, you had to see the bullet come at you, and you may or may not have been in love with the idea of him" cos shit that would be a mouthful of a title. Probably wouldn't sell a lot of copies, neither, being so specific an' all.           'I fucked up... Mum def don't deserve that shit from me...' He hadn't meant to be so harsh with her- but he hadn't lied. He wouldn't lie to her like that- and, no (he told himself harshly) withholding the truth wasn't lying. She'd never asked if he'd known how his dad died, had she, so he hadn't lied to her. Not really. But that didn't excuse what he'd done- even if she was pushing a bit much. Honestly, he was a grown man with his own house and he could handle himself- had done for a long while now.

But was he actually handling himself?           He was living in the house of a dead man to keep alive yet somehow avoid his memory. He was avoiding the Hologram of said man, who had in fact spent the majority of their acquaintanceship (because, honestly, were they ever truly friends?) in a coma. A man he had barely known, but had nonetheless believed in him and seen something behind the grime that life in the estates had covered him in. Had seen someone worth something; not someone to rescue (at least, not solely) but someone to be given the tools to rescue himself. Someone to give a chance so that their overall success or failure couldn't be handed off to someone else; their results would be their own.           He'd never mourned Harry the way he deserved to be mourned, with laughter at his expense and drinks to his memory. He didn't have any stories. Oh, the drinks would be easy enough to procure, but drinking without a purpose and drinking to mourn were too close to the things his mum had done growing up; that was a road he did not want to walk down. He wasn't mourning Harry by living in this house, or by taking up his name, he wasn't honouring the memory of a dead man because... Eggsy didn't really believe he was dead. They hadn't ever been able to find his body, they'd buried an empty coffin, Merlin had basically taken over as Arthur, and Kingsman had moved on.           But Harry, the ghost of him or the live one whichever was the reality, wouldn't have wanted him to live like this. Wouldn't have wanted to see an Eggsy stagnated, operating on autopilot in the cenotaph of a man who (by his own measure) was undeserving of such sentiments.           'The fuck are you doing, Eggsy- pull yourself together,' Harry had looked at Eggsy and had seen potential and now Eggsy was squandering it by living in a past he was never actually a part of. Eggsy was still on the floor, flat on his back with the heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, hissing breaths through his teeth. Everything'd changed when he'd seen that Hologram what seems like a lifetime ago, but maybe- maybe it was stuff that needed changing.           It hurt, there weren't enough words in every language he'd heard of to describe the pain to think about this. Eggsy wanted to let go of Harry Hart about as much as he had wanted to leave the Marines. But, the needs of the many over the wants of the few (or one, in this case) and all that bullshit; he had a duty to Kingsman to be at his best, and this wasn't it.           Eggsy sat up slowly, pulling up the bottom of his shirt to wipe away the few tears that had escaped, giving himself a few more moments to pull himself together. He made his way upstairs to the guest room, pulling open the drawer that contained his specs before going back downstairs empty handed. Not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow and maybe not next week but soon he was going to face at least one of the ghosts that haunted him.

[drlauralwalsh]

Fantasy Comebacks

Ever had an imaginary fight with someone in your head?  With the perfect mic-drop closer, your witty one liners shut down the assholes left and right.  My wife and I shared our best ones with each other.  Usually inappropriate, harsh, or pot stirring, our “fantasy conversations” were unlaunched snowballs.  Admiring each others’ perfect spheres was processing.

These fantasies also avoided telling the other what she should have done.  Sidestepping many marital arguments, it evolved a way to show support.  It starts with, “Babe, I had another fantasy conversation with _________.”  Using babe is optional and doesn’t change the effect.  If you’re in a hurry and want to capture the moment, start with, “In my fantasy, I say ________!”  Feel free to swap out the word fantasy for pretend, daydream, or imaginary.  Words like fake detract from the cold power of a fictitious splat.

You might enjoy a sampling of my most recent musings.  Normally whole conversations, I’ve condensed these for maximum amusement.  In order to protect the ignorant, I declare the following statements are entirely fiction as no one would actually utter these words.  But just in case, I’ve prepared a few comebacks:

Widow is such an ugly term.

I used the widow card the other day to get a $20 refund from Amazon.  It sure is coming in handy.  Kinda like the AARP discount card.

You’re so strong; you’re going to be okay.

I’m glad that reassures you.

I heard she died by suicide.  What happened????

Um, she killed herself.  Most people consider it self explanatory.  Did you want details?

At least Patty didn’t divorce you.  That would have been harder.

I’ve been through a divorce and am confident this is worse.  Plus this way, I get life insurance.

I didn’t know she was depressed.  I should have called her.

She wasn’t.  If her wife and sister couldn’t help, I highly doubt your annual phone call would have made the difference.

I don’t know how you do it.  I’d fall apart.

I must be a great actress because this is what falling apart looks like.

So, is everything a sign from your dead wife?

Conveniently, yes!  It’s all in how you look at it.

You’re a psychologist - why didn’t you stop it?

I did everything I could but our current mental health system failed us.  You should lobby your senator to fully fund services and training.

Wasn’t the last season of Homeland awesome?

Yes!  I cried through every episode because it was the last show we binge watched together.

My ex-uncle-in-law just died so we’re going through the same thing.

Oh wow, so you understand how every item in your house reminds you of him?

Don’t you worry that talking about her makes the kids sad?

I’m more worried that they’d bury their sadness until it sprouts into addiction, behavior issues or a life of gothic artistry.

When I lost Taco the Chihuahua, I was devastated!  He was a family member.

No opposable thumbs didn’t stop him from doing chores, eh?  You must miss Taco’s financial contribution to the household.

Wow, you have a lot of pictures of her up in the house.

I apologize for this offensive reminder of your grief.

I couldn’t live in a house where someone killed themself.

Think of it like spit.  I don’t like just anyone’s spit but I liked my wife’s spit.

Are you back to work yet?

I don’t think my clients need to hear, “Oh you think you’ve got it bad….”

I’m so busy at work!  I wish I could be on leave like you.

Well, the grass is always greener!  Or in my case, dead and yellow.

If you’re going to live in that house, you’ve got to change things up.

I’m going to turn her clothing into quilts and throw blankets.  Want one?

How are you really doing?

Is this a trick question?

Are the kids okay?

Is this a rhetorical question?  

Wow, you post a lot about suicide and grief.

Yeah, it’s kind of my passion.  I’m thinking of starting a cult.

It’s so hard to be isolated during COVID with my family.  I want to kill my husband!

Yeah, I miss that feeling.

Are you still the kids’ stepmother?

Funny how I went from evil stepmother to witchy widow.  To answer your question, yes.

What are you going to do with her stuff?  Donate it to charity?

I’d prefer her prized Ramones t-shirt didn’t end up in the bargain bin at GoodWill.

You’ve gained weight.  Are you eating properly?

Actually, I lost 120 lbs. and feel better than ever!

It's time to stop wearing your wedding rings.

Thanks.  I was thinking of melting them down for scrap and bedazzling my jeans.

You’re young.  You’ve got another 40 years ahead of you.

I’m thinking about rebranding myself as a spinster.  Make it cool like Toyota did to swagger up minivans.

Would Patty want you to do that?

If she didn’t, she better speak up now.  She left all the big decisions to me.

You should move away and start a new life.

Ah, yes.  That’s what will finally stop the frequent flashbacks to our life together!  I’m doing it to myself, you know.

You’ve changed.  You’re kinda morbid and blunt these days.

Thanks for noticing!  Your validation is everything to me.

I just found out Patty died a few months ago!  I’m in shock!

Don’t worry, it wears off quicker for acquaintances.

Did you know that committing suicide used to be illegal?

Luckily, she avoided jail time.  By the way, when you say ‘committed suicide,’ it sounds like you believe she broke the law.  Might want to evaluate that.

Now that you know what I’m not saying, feel free to judge me.  People act like I’m a grief whisperer.  Just because I’m special doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly got a key to universal knowledge.  If you blunder or don’t know what to say, don’t assume I do either.  Or that I’m judging you.  Sometimes I only know what's bad when I hear it.  I wish I could warn you.  I’m working on embodying the mysterious widow persona.  I shredded an old black dress and I’m letting my roots grow out.  Fingers crossed, I think the bereavement kit comes with bonus nuggets of wisdom for posting to social media.

One last disclaimer.  I don’t mean to downplay anyone’s grief or turn away support.  I hope you get that I’m just being silly here.  And helpful!  Feel free to repeat any or all to someone who says something dumb to you.  I’ve heard it’s even worse for supporters who get asked for the juicy death gossip.  I’ve got comebacks for y’all, too.