#really they’re getting off easy because they ALSO ate Itachi’s cinammon rolls and Kisame’s crab cakes

[yowyowyaoi]

*Kakuzu walks into the living room*

Kakuzu: Ah, just the ones I wanted to see. *holds something up* What is this?

Hidan: Are you as fuckin’ blind as red-eyes now? It’s an egg carton.

Kakuzu: *opens it* It’s an EMPTY egg carton, brat. There were eighteen eggs in here. EIGHTEEN!! And not a single one is left. I put this in the refrigerator YESTERDAY NIGHT. How did you manage to go through a dozen and a half eggs, by yourselves, in less than 24 hours?!

Deidara: Did you know that swallowing eggs raw is a good way to get protein, hm?

Hidan: Also if you try to make super-omelettes with less than six eggs per omelette, then it doesn’t count. 

Deidara: Speaking of which, the cheese is probably gone too.

Hidan: And the tomatoes. And onions. And peppers.

Deidara: And we had to have toast so that loaf of bread you got yesterday MIGHT be go —

Kakuzu: *shoots out his tentacles and grabs Deidara and Hidan by the necks*

Kakuzu: You little bastards!! Do you have any idea how expensive food is?! Do you think money grows on trees?? What in the hell do —

*Konan walks into the room*

Deidara: K-Konan! Help us!

Hidan: Can’t … b-breathe …

Konan: Kakuzu! Let those poor boys go!

Kakuzu: I can’t do that, Konan. I’m afraid you’ll have to find replacements for them; they’ve gone too far this time.

Konan: You’re really going to kill them, over a few groceries?? Everything that they ate can be replaced! 

Kakuzu: I’m glad you think that, dear … *uses another tentacle to reach into his pocket and pull out an empty bag* You know those peanut butter cups you were hiding? They ate those, too.

Konan: 

Konan: *locks the door and changes her body into razor-sharp blades of paper*

Konan: Let go of them. I get them first.

Hidan and Deidara: