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#reiner baby prepare to be sick of me!!!
pinkmirth · 1 year
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if reiner got an undercut, i would cum on the spot. like IMMEDIATELY
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colossal-fallout · 1 year
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Daddy Reiner 👶
New series of headcannons. What the character is like as a parent. Including conception, during the pregnancy and after.
Includes; Non-childbearing persons.
Warnings: smut. Fluff.
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Conception 🌺
It's well known in my headcannons that Reiner has heavy kinks within the areas of mating presses and a pregnancy kink. Taking this into account he almost blew his load on the spot when you bring up the subject of starting a family.
Seriously. Like first his heart almost leaped out of his chest, tears threatening those honeyed eyes... but once it hit home, he was beyond ferral.
Growling. Lots of growling into you and moans you've never heard come from him before as he dips as deep as he can into you.
He's desperate, pawing at you a lot more urgently than he's ever done before. High pitched squeaks are escaping him as he's far too gone to keep watch of what noises he makes.
"Gonna give you all my cum... nurgh.. every. Last. Drop."
"Fuck... take it all... take all of me baby... uh... fuck ~~"
"You're gonna be leaking my cum from everywhere. S-so full... your gonna be... so so full of me..."
Roars as he experiences the biggest orgasm of his life. He wanted to make sure his cock spewed everything he had so he'd been edging himself for hours. Fucking you painfully slowly. You're beyond gone from the amount of times his delicious fat head as sent you into the heavens.
Keeps himself plugged in you after, his cock hardening again quickly he's that turned on by the whole thing. He can't help but thrust his juices into you and to both of your surprise he cums again.
Pretty much every fuck is like that from now on because when you do conceive and your stomach starts to swell - he loses control for too easily.
For those who aren't able or chose not to bear children, Reiner gets just as excited when you suggest adoption. He'll still ravage you, pumping you full with his seed and kissing your lower stomach deeply before teasingly making his way to your sex.
During pregnancy 🌷
As much as he loves you and his little unborn bambino, he still has a couple of freak outs. He never had a dad. Could he be a Good one without witnessing it being modeled? You were the one who had to teach him how to do up his tie. How the hell could he be useful in this family dynamic?
You obviously reassure him. He'd be an amazing dad.
He's at your side 24/7. Makes sure you drink enough, eat enough, God help you if you lift something heavy - he'll scold you out of love.
Sick? He'll hold your hair and rub your back. If you're like me and prefer to be alone when you're spewing up the contents of your stomach, he'll reluctantly hover outside until you're done.
Adores making slow love to you while you're swollen and stuffed with his seed.
Reads loads of pregnancy and parenting books. He's preparing himself the best he can.
His face turns green when he learns about things like mucus plugs and the like. But it'll help him put on a brave face when the time arrives.
Adoption ♥
For those who aren't able or chose not to bear children, Reiner gets just as excited when you suggest adoption. He'll still ravage you, pumping you full with his seed and kissing your lower stomach deeply before teasingly making his way to your sex.
He can't contain how excited he is. He's like a kid on Christmas eve. He wants to shout it from the rooftops.
When you visit the orphanage, he's pretty sad. He knows what it's like to be in that situation (sort of) and he wants to take them all home and give them a loving family. He is so sweet.
Whether you adopt or conceive - if you aren't married yet, he will certainly be proposing very soon.
Other than this points, Reiner will be no different if you decide to adopt <3
Arrival 💐
Holds your hand the entire time. Doesn't flinch when you're almost breaking his fingers. He admires you so much, putting yourself through the pain to bring a small person into the world.
He's in awe. Totally in love. With both you and the little one. Silent tears stream down his face and as soon and it's just the three of you, sobs uncontrollably.
That moment he pledges his soul to his new little family ❤️
If you have twins or triplets, he breaks down sobbing regardless of who is in the room. He's just overwhelmed with love and joy.
"How could a man like me create something so tiny and perfect?" He'll whisper in awe.
Helps with the night feeds. He stays awake (he's used to that from training anyway) making sure you get your rest. He suggests you pump breast milk so he can feed them during the night.
Very protective. No animals around the baby for the first year. No strangers touching them. No one kissing them. Nothing. Nada. And he's not shy about letting people know his rules, either.
Almost broke Connie's jaw when he went to pinch their cheek.
Carries baby on his shoulders when they're a little older. He constantly plays with them and his favorite part of the day is coming home from work to see his two loves.
Goes ape shit if another child pushes yours over. He will demand to see their parent immediately.
Reiner will certainly want more than one. He'd have probably about five kids, given how much he loves them (and loves making them)
WOULD NOT care if his little girl wants to get muddy with football or his boy wants to be a ballerina. He'll support them unconditionally.
Reiner is an amazing father. A supportive and loyal husband too. He really is just the best <3
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quills-of-freedom · 1 year
Text
Daddy Reiner 👶
New series of headcanons. What the character is like as a parent. Including conception, during the pregnancy and after.
Includes; Non-childbearing persons.
Warnings: smut. Fluff.
Tag list info here 🐙
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Conception 🌺
It’s well known in my headcanons that Reiner has heavy kinks within the areas of mating presses and a pregnancy kink. Taking this into account he almost blew his load on the spot when you bring up the subject of starting a family.
Seriously. Like first his heart almost leapt out of his chest, tears threatening those honeyed eyes… but once it hit home, he was beyond feral.
Growling. Lots of growling into you and moans you’ve never heard come from him before as he dips as deep as he can into you.
He’s desperate, pawing at you a lot more urgently than he’s ever done before. High-pitched squeaks are escaping him as he’s far too gone to keep watch of what noises he makes.
“Gonna give you all my cum… nurgh.. every. Last. Drop.”
“Fuck… take it all… take all of me baby… uh… fuck ~~”
“You’re gonna be leaking my cum from everywhere. S-so full… your gonna be… so so full of me…”
Roars as he experiences the biggest orgasm of his life. He wanted to make sure his cock spewed everything he had so he’d been edging himself for hours. Fucking you painfully slowly. You’re beyond gone from the number of times his delicious fat head has sent you into the heavens.
Keeps himself plugged in you after, his cock hardening again quickly he’s that turned on by the whole thing. He can’t help but thrust his juices into you and to both of your surprise, he cums again.
Pretty much every fuck is like that from now on because when you do conceive and your stomach starts to swell - he loses control too easily.
For those who aren’t able or chose not to bear children, Reiner gets just as excited when you suggest adoption. He’ll still ravage you, pumping you full with his seed and kissing your lower stomach deeply before teasingly making his way to your sex.
During pregnancy 🌷
As much as he loves you and his little unborn bambino, he still has a couple of freak outs. He never had a dad. Could he be a Good one without witnessing it being modeled? You were the one who had to teach him how to do up his tie. How the hell could he be useful in this family dynamic?
You obviously reassure him. He’d be an amazing dad.
He’s at your side 24/7. Makes sure you drink enough, eat enough, God help you if you lift something heavy - he’ll scold you out of love.
Sick? He’ll hold your hair and rub your back. If you’re like me and prefer to be alone when you’re spewing up the contents of your stomach, he’ll reluctantly hover outside until you’re done.
Adores making slow love to you while you’re swollen and stuffed with his seed.
Reads loads of pregnancy and parenting books. He’s preparing himself the best he can.
His face turns green when he learns about things like mucus plugs and the like. But it’ll help him put on a brave face when the time arrives.
Adoption ♥
For those who aren’t able or chose not to bear children, Reiner gets just as excited when you suggest adoption. He’ll still ravage you, pumping you full with his seed and kissing your lower stomach deeply before teasingly making his way to your sex.
He can’t contain how excited he is. He’s like a kid on Christmas eve. He wants to shout it from the rooftops.
When you visit the orphanage, he’s pretty sad. He knows what it’s like to be in that situation (sort of) and he wants to take them all home and give them a loving family. He is so sweet.
Whether you adopt or conceive - if you aren’t married yet, he will certainly be proposing very soon.
Other than this points, Reiner will be no different if you decide to adopt <3
Arrival 💐
Holds your hand the entire time. Doesn’t flinch when you’re almost breaking his fingers. He admires you so much, putting yourself through the pain to bring a small person into the world.
He’s in awe. Totally in love. With both you and the little one. Silent tears stream down his face and as soon as it’s just the three of you, sobs uncontrollably.
That moment he pledges his soul to his new little family ❤️
If you have twins or triplets, he breaks down sobbing regardless of who is in the room. He’s just overwhelmed with love and joy.
“How could a man like me create something so tiny and perfect?” He’ll whisper in awe.
Helps with the night feeds. He stays awake (he’s used to that from training anyway) making sure you get your rest. He suggests you pump breast milk so he can feed them during the night.
Very protective. No animals around the baby for the first year. No strangers touching them. No one kissing them. Nothing. Nada. And he’s not shy about letting people know his rules, either.
Almost broke Connie’s jaw when he went to pinch their cheek.
Carries baby on his shoulders when they’re a little older. He constantly plays with them and his favourite part of the day is coming home from work to see his two loves.
Goes ape shit if another child pushes yours over. He will demand to see their parent immediately.
Reiner will certainly want more than one. He’d have probably about five kids, given how much he loves them (and loves making them)
WOULD NOT care if his little girl wants to get muddy with football or his boy wants to be a ballerina. He’ll support them unconditionally.
Reiner is an amazing father. A supportive and loyal husband too. He really is just the best <3
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missmeinyourbones · 2 years
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Hiiiii, I loved your dad!Armin headcanons! If you feel like writing about it, what do you think Armin would be like while his s/o is pregnant? And how would he react to labor and delivery, would he be one of those dads that passes out in the delivery room or nah??
i loved this idea so much that i turned it into a whole ass thing for all of the aot guys lol <3 these are just a few silly lil hcs of how they would be when expecting a baby / how they would act w a pregnant partner
armin buys every single book on parenting: caring for ur pregnant partner, best methods for birth, essentials to have when preparing for a baby, etc. he is COMMITTED to the bit. i don’t see him being super protective or anything, more so attentive to you and ur needs. like he’s constantly asking you if he can do anything to make u more comfortable or get you anything you need!!! he is just super excited and wants to be prepared for everything. has like 11 diaper bags
eren uses ur pregnancy as an excuse for everything LOL his work is like hey can you come in today and cover someone’s shift??? he’s like no sorry i have a baby on the way 🤒🤒🤒 someone cuts you guys off in traffic and he’s like “literally why would they do that … ur pregnant ….” as if everyone on the planet knows??? LIKEEE he thinks the earth orbits you and not the sun just bc ur expecting. also constantly brags to his friends about how he’s gonna be a dad before all of them :/
jean isn’t letting you lift a damn finger, to the point where it’s almost frustrating. very observant of you and ur needs. you reach to grab something and hes dead serious like “stop reaching for stuff 😐 let me do it” when he was literally 3 rooms away. you go to shower alone for a literal second and he’s jumping in like lemme wash ur hair i don’t want u lifting ur arms up 😟 😟 😟 …. HUH ???? he means so well but baby lemme breathe ur playing w ur life rn <3
connie does that thing where he’s like “you know i would carry and deliver the baby for you if i could, right :/” and it’s a cute thought but ur feet are throbbing and ur back is breaking and ur like yeah yeah sure u would :/ his heart breaks when you say ur scared to deliver ur baby :/ then you say the comparison is like “pushing a watermelon out of a lemon” and he almost passes out at the thought of it 
levi knows to shut the fuck up LOL this man is reading the room before you even breathe. he knows exactly when and why ur gonna be grouchy or overly emotional, he knows just what snacks to get and when you start to get sick of them. you wake him up in the middle of the night and he already has his shoes by the side of the bed incase he has to leave to get you something. he deals with the whole process so well its actually a lil scary ur like .... have u done this before 🤨🤨🤨
reiner is .... petrified LOL poor baby is so scared hes watching youtube tutorials on how to change a diaper as soon as your pregnancy test comes back positive. hes caressing ur baby bump and then crying at the thought of ur baby growing up too fast (when theyre not even born yet???) then he feels bad bc “youre carrying our child and im the one who is crying” 😭 give him a hug please and maybe a xanax
porco is clueless. theres not a thought going on behind those eyes. youre making a list of potential baby shower gifts to ask for and ur like “hey do we have a crib yet?” and hes like “why tf do we need a crib? the baby can sleep in the bed with us?” and ur like fuck no it cant and hes like “ok ok ur right, it can sleep on the couch” :/ and he’s dead serious too. you ask him for a weird food combo like pickles and peanut butter and hes so deadpan like “you know thats raunchy, right?” 😕 he has a death wish fr 
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folklorelise · 3 years
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Civilian girlfriend
MASTERLIST
Jean Kirstein – you visit him during his training days and after
—————
You grew up next to Jean’s house in Trost District. Since your mother was a baker, you would always eat leftovers and sometimes, your mother would call Jean’s family to join you for dinner. Jean was a shy and nice kid – you instantly connected with each other.
One stormy night, Jean took his pillow and run to your house. He opened your door and whisper your name multiple times before you woke up.
“What’s wrong?” you asked Jean worried. “What are you doing here so late?”
“I– I thought you would be scared… of the thunder so I came to protect you!”
“Oh.” you paused. “But I’m not.”
“Oh.” Jean trembled.
“Are you scared?” you asked cautiously.
“No! I’ll go, sorry.” Jean turned around but you caught his hand before he could move.
“You can stay with me if you’re scared, it’s ok.” You reassured him with a shy smile.
You both went to bed – it was a small bed, but you were both kids, so it was not a problem. In the morning, Jean’s mother was worried sick, but your mother quickly reassured her that her son was with you, both sleeping. From then on Jean would always come to you during thunderstorm. As he grew older, he stopped being afraid of it, but still came to you. Jean started to like you more than just as a friend very early on, but he was too shy to do anything about it.
When he told you that he was joining the training corps, you were devastated.
“We won’t be able to see other anymore…” you teared up.
“Y/N, of course we will. You’ll see, when I finally become a MP, I’ll bring you with me in Wall Sina and then we could–” Jean stopped abruptly.
“We could what?”
Jean stared at you hesitantly and then gave you a quick kiss on the lips. When he backed up, he looked terrified and he was all red. Your cheeks were hot too – it was your first kiss.
“Then we could get married maybe and live together.” Jean mumbled. “Because I like you… a lot.”
“You do?” you asked happily.
“Yes. What about you?”
“I like you too.”
“Good.”
Jean and you just smiled at each other, holding hands.
“In three years, we’ll be together again and from then on, it will be forever.”
Jean kissed you one last time before leaving. Jean and you sent each other letters from time to time, but he was busy. You were receiving fewer and fewer letters from him but then suddenly, in his letter, he told you about a visiting day and asked you to come. You took a day off – you were working with your mother – and your mother said yes. The morning before leaving, you baked a lot of pastries and breads for Jean. You dressed up nicely and went out. The training corps headquarters had their doors opened and lots of families were already there. You had your basket of food in your hand and walked in. You quickly found Jean at the entrance and walked up to him smiling.
“H-” but before you could greet him and his friends, Jean gave you a tight hug.
“I missed you so much.” Jean whispered.
“Is that food?” a girl asked excited.
“Stop Sasha! You don’t even know her!” Another boy said.
“This is Sasha and Connie.” Jean told you. “And this is Marco.”
“Hello.” you said awkwardly, no knowing what else to say.
“Are you horse face’s girlfriend?” asked a boy with two other people.
“What, you’re jealous?” Jean shouted back.
“No, just wondering who could veer be stupid enough to date you!” Eren, screamed back.
“You take that back you deep sh!t.” Jean shouted at him which surprised you. When Jean saw your expression, he quickly took you to another place, not wanting any other problems with Eren while you were here.
“What are these?” Jean pointed at the basket.
“Food I made for you.”
You ate together in his dorm – no one was there, everyone was with their families and friends anyway. You ate and caught up with what happened the last few months.
“How is it going? The training I mean.”
“It’s good – I’m good. I can definitely get in the top ten.”
“That’s great!” you cheered up.
“Yeah.” Jean said staring at you for a long minute before kissing you.
The kiss was awkward and cute. Neither of you knew where to put your hands but it was still a good kiss.
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A good kiss that was interrupted by Marco entering the room.
“Oh no! I’m sorry!” Marco shouted embarrassed.
Jean and you stoop up quickly and you were both embarrassed too. Your cheeks were hot, and you looked at everywhere except at Marco or Jean.
“I’m so sorry!” Marco apologised again. “I– I didn’t know!”
“It’s fine. We– let’s just join the others!” you said.
You took your basket full of food and ate with Jean, Marco, Connie, and Sasha. You all laughed together, and they told you embarrassing stories about Jean and you told them about baby Jean. A few hours later, Marco wanted to present Jean to his parents – he wanted to reassure them that their boy was not alone. When Jean left, two other boys arrived at your table – Reiner and Bertolt.
“You must be Jean’s girlfriend, right?” Reiner asked you.
“Mh… I guess I am yeah.” you answered joyfully.
“It’s weird.” Reiner continued.
“What is?”
“I always thought he was into Mikasa. Always complimenting her or something.”
“Wha – who?” you asked him confused.
“Reiner!” Bertolt yelled.
“Who’s Mikasa?” you asked but none of them answered. When Jean came back with Marco you asked him who she was.
“Why?” Jean asked.
“Just tell me.”
“It’s her.” Marco said pointing at the girl you saw earlier. “Why?” he asked you when he saw you were clenching your jaw. She is pretty.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Jean asked worried, resting his hand on your shoulder.
“Yeah… it’s late, I think it’s time for me to go home.” you stood up.
“Y/N what’s wrong?” Jean hesitated, “You don’t have to go until tonight and it’s not even–”
You were already walking away rapidly. Jean looked at his friends confused, waiting for someone to explain to him what just happened.
“Reiner told him you were into Mikasa.” Sasha explained.
“What!” Jean yelled at Reiner. “What is wrong with you, you sick son of a b–!” he screamed taking Reiner by the collar.
Marco and Bertolt had to restraint Jean – no one ever saw Jean that mad.
“Jean, stop!” Marco tried to calm his friend down. “Go after Y/N instead of wasting your time here.”
Jean run after you as quick as he could, and luckily for him, you were just at the entrance.
“Y/N!” Jean screamed catching up to you. “It’s not what you think! I do not like Mikasa. Plus, why would you believe a stranger?”
“Because it made sense to me.” you stammered. “You stopped writing to me as much as you used to and maybe that was because you didn’t want to talk to me anymore… because there was someone else.”
“Hey don’t cry.” Jean said holding your face in his hands. “There’s only you. You are the only one I want to talk to; you are the only one I want to see, and you are the only want I want to wake up to in the future. I know we’re still young, but I like you a lot.”
“I like you too.” you sobbed. “I’m sorry, I should’ve let you talk first.”
Jean hugged you close for a very long time. Once Jean graduated you were to celebrate with him, unfortunately it was not a happy one – Marco, Jean’s closest friend, died.
“I decided to join the survey corps.” Jean told you that night.
“Oh… okay. Isn’t that dangerous?”
“It is, but that’s what I want.”
“I just… I don’t want to lose you when you’re out there.” you said resting your head on his shoulder.
“You won’t. I promise.”
Once the cadets were settled in the survey corps, the commander organised a visiting day for them and the other members. You and Jean’s mother went together to visit him. Jean was with his group of friends. You went over where they were with Jean’s mother and she greeted them.
“Hey,” Reiner said to you, “I’m sorry about last time we saw each other, I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s fine, it’s all good now.” you affirmed looking at Jean. “Jeanie and I are good.”
“Jeanie huh.” Connie teased him, “I’m going to call him that from now on.” he laughed.
The whole day was spent talking to each other, getting to know all his friends. You also met Armin, Eren and Mikasa – they were all very nice. At night, Jean excused himself and took you with him.
“Where are we going?” you asked him.
“Trust me.”
Jean brought you outside and met with a Garrison soldier and exchange a few words with him before putting on his gear. He reached out his hand for you to take it, but you waited for an explanation.
“I trust you a lot Jean Kirstein but what did you plan?”
“Just come on, please.”
You took his hand and he just warned you to hold tight. He used his gear to take you on top of the wall. You were holding him so tight you could have strangled him.
“Oh, what are you doing! Don’t you dare drop me!”
“I won’t.” Jean reassured you. “You can let go now; we are here.”
“Oh, this is high. This is really high from the ground.” you rumbled. “Is it even legal to go there?”
“I asked permission, don’t worry. The commander is a nice person.”
“Why are we here?”
“I prepared dinner for us.” Jean showed you a basket full of food with a sheet on the ground. “We never actually had a proper date so I thought this would be the perfect occasion.”
“You did this for me?” you smiled.
“I’d do anything to see that beautiful smile of yours.” Jean said with a smirk that made your cheeks hot.
“You’re the best, have I ever told you that?”
“Have I ever told you that I love you?” Jean whispered.
“No.” you gasped. “I– but I love you too.” you said before he kissed you.
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sleepysnk · 3 years
Text
hello guys! this wasn't a request, but it is a small gift for @kwnblack ! i decided to make a third and final part for the two previous Zeke scenarios i wrote! i hope you enjoy :).
Zeke x Fem!Reader: I Promise
Warnings: slight manga spoilers and slight angst
Part 1 Part 2
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It had been about a month or so since Zeke had his last encounter with (Y/N). After that night, he left the island, and (Y/N) had no idea. She woke up the next morning, and notice he was gone. It confused her that day. Where the hell did he go?
She spent that whole day after searching for him. She went around Marley, but she never found him.
As the weeks went on, (Y/N) began to not feel like herself. She felt sick all the time, and she was very tired. She always blamed it on stress, but a few of her friends were concerned with her behavior. They didn't like the way she was acting. (Y/N) never looked good either.
After some arguments with friends, she decided to just finally go see the doctor. She explained to the doctor about her symptoms, he was concerned with how sick she was, and how she was fatigued most of the time.
"I'm going to run a few tests (Y/N), we should figure out what's going on" he said.
(Y/N) had multiple tests run on her, and what the doctor told her was shocking.
"Congratulations! Your expecting a baby"
Those words made her whole world stop.
She was pregnant? She never imagined in her entire life she would get pregnant, even with how young she was. (Y/N) knew who the dad was, it was Zeke for sure. She was the only man she was intimate with, but where was he?
The doctor explained her options. He explained that if she wanted to terminate it he could, but she insisted that she wanted to keep the baby. (Y/N) didn't want to let the opportunity slide, so she decided to keep it.
Her friends were extremely supportive of her and the baby. Thing was, they weren't exactly happy with who the dad was. They all shamed Zeke for leaving, in a way, her friends made it seem like Zeke only wanted to have sex with her. Nothing more than a one-night stand.
This made (Y/N) extremely emotional.
Many questions ran through her head during that month. Did Zeke only want her for one thing and one thing only? Did he lie about how he felt about her? So many questions with little answers.
Zeke on the other hand, had no idea she was pregnant. The time that they met fell at an unfortunate time, he had to head back to Paradis to obtain Eren. (Y/N) had no idea about these plans, and it sort of slipped Zeke's mind. His intention was to never leave her like that, he didn't have a choice.
She had some support from her best friend Mia (random name). Mia helped a lot with anything that she needed, and (Y/N) was extremely grateful for her. Without Mia, (Y/N) probably would have been so lonely.
"Imagine if it's a girl (Y/N)! A little you running around" Mia said.
Mia had been more excited than (Y/N) was for this baby. She dreamt about her best friend having a baby, and becoming an aunt or a God-parent.
As much as (Y/N) was excited, she couldn't help but feel those dark thoughts sometimes. She always thinks about Zeke, and she feels so much sadness run through her whenever she does.
"Are you thinking about him again?" Mia asked and looked at her.
(Y/N) nodded. "No! I'm fine, I just feel really moody right now. This pregnancy has made my hormones go all over the place" she replied and tried to seem convincing.
Mia had to deal with so much when it came to her best friend being pregnant. The mood swings, cravings, constantly peeing, and constant sleep. (Y/N) was thankful though, without Mia, she would have been stressed out to the max.
"I'll rip his damn head off (Y/N). You know I'm capable of that" she said and looked at her friend.
(Y/N) chuckled. "You won't need to do that. I think I want to nap being honest, so you can go if you'd like" she said and smiled.
Mia stood up. "Alright, well you know where I'm at if you need me" she said and made her way towards the door.
She watched as Mia exited. (Y/N) felt a sad wave hit her all at once, the emotions she felt were the usual. She felt tears fall down her cheeks as she thought about Zeke again. Was she really just a one-night stand to him? A woman who he got in bed just for one night?
(Y/N) went to her bed and began to sob. Her emotions running wild, and coming out once again. She's had countless days where she'd cry about it, who could blame her? The woman was pregnant and all she had was her friends.
All she had was the memory of him.
As the weeks went on, she began to feel a bit better. She actually put on a genuine smile, and she wasn't faking it. Her friends told her to not stress, it wasn't good for the baby. She had to take that in. (Y/N) was feeling better about herself, she went out with Mia and looked at different baby items that would be needed.
She had gotten a few items. (Y/N) was quite prepared for her baby, and she was very careful. Even being only about 2 or 3 months along.
But she was in for quite the situation.
(Y/N) stood looking outside her window. It was a warm and sunny day, she missed the summer breeze. It always reminded her of how beautiful the world was. She noticed some people beginning to run in the same direction.
"They're back!"
"Do you think they got him?"
(Y/N) was confused as to who was being talked about. She began to follow the people, and she noticed a pretty large crowd formed.
She noticed Mia was there. "What's going on?" (Y/N) asked.
She looked back at her. "I'm not sure... I'm just as curious as you are" Mia replied.
That's when she felt time stop.
Zeke was standing there with Reiner badly wounded. What the hell happened? As much as she wanted to run up to him, she knew she couldn't. Reiner and Zeke looked horrible.
"Where is Eren!?"
"Yeah! You promised to bring back the founding titan!"
Zeke just stood there quiet. The mission was a failure. Bertholdt was dead, and Paradis now had his power.
His eyes scanned the area as he noticed a familiar (h/c) haired girl standing there. (Y/N). Zeke noticed how upset she looked, he wasn't sure why, but he wanted to know.
"Let's go (Y/N)" Mia said and grabbed her arm.
She lead her away from the crowd. "Mia, what the hell happened? Who is Eren? What do they want with him?" she asked.
Mia sighed. "Couldn't tell you, all I heard was that they went with each other" she replied. "I guess we know where Zeke went after all this time..." she added.
(Y/N) looked down and stood by her friend. She didn't want to face him right now, it would be too much for her.
Zeke had been taken to the infirmary along with Reiner. Both were injured and needed to be checked on.
"Your injuries are minor, but it'll take you awhile to heal.." the nurse said and looked at Zeke.
He nodded. "May I request a visitor?" he asked.
The nurse furrowed her brows. "Are you sure about that? I can get someone to do that" she asked.
Zeke ran a hand through his hair. "Yes I'm sure, please get me (Y/N) (L/N) please" he replied.
She nodded. "Very well, I'll be right back" she said and exited the room.
Zeke waited as his heart began to race, he wanted to explain everything to her about the mission. She never knew about it, he didn't want her to worry that day, so he kept what he was doing out of it.
"Zeke?" The nurse said and entered the room.
He looked up and noticed she wasn't with the nurse. "Where is she?" he asked.
She sighed. "I'm not sure why but (Y/N) refused to see you. I can't force her, I'm sorry" she replied.
What the hell was up with her? She was avoiding him now? He knew leaving her so fast was kind of not a good idea. Zeke needed to talk to her as soon as possible.
Three days had gone by, and he hadn't seen (Y/N) around Marley. She had been a ghost. He wasn't sure where she could be, but he wanted to know.
(Y/N) did her best to avoid him. She did her shopping at odd hours, or she would make Mia do things for her. Mia completely understood, but she didn't want her to run away forever.
Mia sat in a bar by herself. She wanted (Y/N) to come for some company, but she was having morning sickness, so that was a huge no.
She noticed Pieck enter the bar. She had her crutch with her, since she spent so much time in her titan form, she forgot how to actually walk like a human.
"You look like you've seen better days" Pieck said and sat next to her.
Mia looked over. "Same to you" she replied and took a sip of her drink.
Pieck never knew Mia well. "Well.. when your mission becomes a total failure, you feel like shit so" she said and shrugged.
Mia laughed a little. "Hm... it can't be as bad as your best friend being a pregnant hormonal mess" she said.
The dark haired girl nodded. "Ah pregnancy huh? Why bring a child into this world" she said and leaned against the table.
"Not sure but it happened, (Y/N) deserves better though" Mia said and shrugged.
Pieck stopped. (Y/N)? She had heard Zeke talking about her during the mission, and pretty recently. Was that the girl he was trying to speak to? She heard his constant rant about this woman ignoring him.
"Excuse me.. I need to leave" Pieck said and began to make her way to find Zeke.
Mia found it odd how quickly the girl left. She shrugged and kept drinking. Pieck rushed as quickly as she could to find him.
"Zeke!" she yelled as she saw him talking with Reiner.
He furrowed his brows noticing her quick pace. "Something wrong Pieck?" he asked.
She looked at him. "Do you know (Y/N)?" she asked.
Zeke looked at Reiner and back at Pieck. "Yes... why?" he asked.
She nodded. "Did you know she was pregnant?" she asked.
His mind totally stopped when those words came out of Pieck. She was pregnant!? Maybe that's why she was avoiding him.
"I had no idea... excuse me, I need to go" Zeke said and began to make his way to her house.
(Y/N) sat in her home exhausted. Her morning sickness was horrible, so she spent most of the day in her bed and napping. She heard a knock at her front door. She assumed that it was Mia.
"Mia I-" she opened the door and saw Zeke standing there.
She stood there for a moment in shock. "(Y/N)... can we talk please?" he asked.
She sighed. "Come in.." she replied and moved so he could come in.
Zeke entered her home and watched as she shut the door. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
She furrowed her brows. "About what? What is there to talk about!?" she asked.
He rolled his eyes. "That you're pregnant!? What else?!" he replied.
Silence flooded the room between the two. "So you do know.." she said and sat down on her couch.
"I don't understand why you never told me. I've been here for days" he said.
She felt anger rushing through her. "Tell you? Why would I? You left me that day. You left me after we had SEX Zeke! You know how that made me feel? You made me feel like I was a one-night stand. I never knew you were going to leave like that" she yelled.
Zeke looked at her. "I'm sorry (Y/N). I should have told you that I had to go, I didn't want to worry you. Everything was at the wrong time" he replied.
She crossed her arms and shook her head. "You worried me 10x more when you left me that day, again" she said.
He felt horrible in the moment. "I know... I wanted to tell you" he said.
(Y/N) ran a hand down to her belly which was slowly getting bigger. "So why are you here?" she asked.
He looked up confused. "What? That's a stupid question. I'm here because I know I got you pregnant, who the fuck do you think I am (Y/N)? Some guy who bangs a girl, gets them pregnant, and then leaves? I care about you that's why I'm here. I want to be here for OUR child. If I didn't give a shit, I wouldn't have bothered showing up here" he replied.
She fell silent as he spoke, she didn't know what to say. "I'm about 3 months.." she said and looked down.
Zeke nodded and stood up. "I'm sorry for leaving you that day. Please forgive me" he said and held her hand.
She bit her lip and looked around. "I can forgive you Zeke, but how do I know you're gonna leave again?" she asked.
"I'll be more honest with you. This mission came fast and there wasn't much I could do to stop it" he replied.
(Y/N) nodded. "I see..." she said and looked at him.
He ran his hand down to her belly. "May I?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Yes" she replied and lifted her shirt a bit.
Zeke looked at how big her belly had gotten, it wasn't huge, but it was noticeable that she was bigger. He lied his head on her belly, and pulled her hips closer to him. The sight alone made her heart flutter. She ran her fingers through his hair.
"I can't wait to meet them, I don't have much time left" he said and looked down.
She nodded. "What do you mean?" she asked and furrowed her brows.
Zeke felt a bit emotional in the moment. "Curse of Ymir remember? I don't have much time left (Y/N).. I want to make it worth it for you and them" he said and stood up.
She noticed the tears in his eyes. "Zeke.. don't worry. I'll make sure it's worth it for you and the baby" she said and smiled a bit.
He wiped his eyes a bit. "I'd love that (Y/N), I promise I won't leave you ever again" he replied and hugged her.
She put her head on his chest. "Promise?" she asked.
He smiled. "I promise" he replied.
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saturnznct · 3 years
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attack on titan!au, mark lee x reader
word count: 3.4k words
warnings: head injury, physical fighting (for training purposes), descriptions of death, mention of knives and cult
note: will be working through this series slowly! hope u all like this xx
nct dream aot au masterlist
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The first time you laid eyes on Mark Lee was in that iconic dusty courtyard. Bearing in mind he was being ripped into by Commander Shadis.
‘And what about you, Lee?’
A twelve year old Mark Lee’s eyes shone with tears of fear. He was clearly somewhat sheltered from the horrors of this world; hailing from the town of Jinae, southern Wall Maria alongside fellow cadet Marco Bott. The two of them were the image of innocence, although they barely knew each other, both round-faced and freckly.
Mark had cowered beneath Shadis’ gaze, likely having never been spoken to in such a way, especially not by his loving family. You felt drawn to him. What was he doing here?
That night he barely said much, nibbling on stale bread. You could tell he did not want to eat, but food was scarce, so he kind of had to. He listened intently to the words of Eren Yaeger who spoke about his experiences with the Colossal Titan on that infamous day two years ago.
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Days faded into weeks. You passed your own balance test with flying colours, as did Mark, who’s face would become screwed up whenever his feet left the ground.
While you formed a casual alliance with Sasha, promising to go easy on each other during combat training, Mark swapped anecdotes with Marco and sharpened his wooden knife with Reiner.
One day Commander Shadis had demanded you pair up with Mikasa (likely because he was sick of you and Sasha throwing fake punches) and you were so distracted by Mark that she easily flipped you over, an ‘oof’ escaping your mouth as you hit the ground. When your back makes contact with the sand, your head snaps back, hitting the ground hard.
‘Wait, I didn’t mean that,’ Mikasa mumbles, seemingly unsure as to what to do.
Everything goes pitch black for a split second. When your eyes do open, your head is spinning, black spots dotting the sky above you like stars. You hear Commander Shadis yelling for the first-aid specialist cadets.
Admittedly in that moment you had absolutely no clue who was part of that squad. At this point in your training years, you were especially focused on yourself, working on your own skills and specialities. But when Mark Lee comes barrelling across the training yard your heart nearly leaps out of your chest.
‘Are you alright?’ He asks you as soon as he kneels down beside you, ‘can you see?’
Mark sounds far more concerned and more urgent than you feel, which you find somewhat charming, but your head is still spinning.
‘Mark, remember the procedures,’ Thomas Wagner seems to be somewhat supervising him.
‘Oh, uh,’ Mark holds up three fingers and waves them around as if to confuse you a little, ‘how many fingers am I holding up?’
He’s peering over you, almost like a pet trying to get your attention. You feel your chest swell at how cute he looks.
You blink, trying to decide whether or not you should play up your injury for his attention or get up so you can continue training.
‘Three,’ you mutter, deciding that returning to combat training was worth more than gaining the sympathy of a cute boy.
Mark and Thomas exchange a look.
‘Do you think you can sit up?’ Mark asks, eyebrows furrowed together in concern.
‘I don’t know,’ you mumbled, ‘I’ll try…’
You prepare yourself to have to lift yourself off the dirty ground, but you jump about a mile in the air when he holds the back of your head in his hand, slowly supporting your head as you sat up.
‘I’m sorry, Y/N,’ Mikasa apologises quietly.
‘It’s okay,’ you croak, ‘it’s my fault.’
‘Come on Y/N, we’ll have to take you back to your dorm room to lay down,’ Thomas has a sharp tone of authority, so you don’t even try to argue.
‘Dude, she can’t even stand,’ Mark points out.
‘How about you carry her then,’ Thomas huffs, turning on his heel to deal with some other cadet’s grazed arm.
‘I-I-Is that okay?’ Mark stutters, hand still on the small of your back as he held you up.
You nod groggily, ‘it’s okay.’
And so he scoops you up in his arms, and you automatically cling onto his neck. Mark is incredibly gentle, hand under your leg splayed out as to not touch your thigh.
You’re sleepy at this point, so the walk back to your dorm house is slow.
Mark tilts you to the side to twist the doorknob, the door loudly creaking open.
‘Which bunk is yours?’
‘Right beside the window,’ you mumble, ‘bottom bunk.’
He walks you over slowly, almost as though you were a baby in his arms, before gently lowering you down into your bed.
‘Are you comfortable?’
You nod, shifting around under the duvet to try and get comfortable.
‘Good. I’ll send one of the girls in occasionally to check on you,’ he says, ‘I hope you feel better soon.’
And then he shuffles out, clicking the door shut as quietly as possible.
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‘How’s your head?’
‘Huh?’
The cafeteria is relatively empty, it being late than the normal scheduled eating time. You had finished up with your cleaning duties a bit later than usual, hence why you were eating bread at nearly 10pm.
You had been interrupted by a certain Jinae resident.
‘Your head… have you been feeling better? I’ve been worried.’
‘You have?’ Your heart nearly skips a beat at the thought of him worrying about you, hoping that you’re alright, ‘I’m just fine Mark, all thanks to you.’
You don’t miss the way a pink blush creeps up his neck, and he avoids your gaze.
‘It’s what I’m trained to do,’ he brushes it off, ‘what kind of medic would I be if I couldn’t help?’
‘You’re incredibly selfless.’
‘Not really,’ Mark shrugs, ‘it’s the right thing to do.’
’Still selfless.’
He looks up at you then, trying to read your emotions.
‘I just mean that, in this world, people are selfish. People always care more about saving themselves than saving others. So you’re different, in that way.’
‘You think people care more about themselves than others?’
‘I-I saw a lot of things during the fall of Maria.. When my town was under attack, the titans had destroyed some of the houses, and there were people inside, who couldn’t get out. And they were shouting- screaming for someone to help them move the wood or the rubble but nobody listened. I told my dad to help them, obviously I couldn’t myself because I was only nine, but he didn’t. He told me that we had to leave ourselves, that we were responsible for ourselves. Now I know that those people died. They died because my father refused to help, because I was too weak. That’s most of the reason why I’m here, to help people if that were to happen again.’
‘I think your dad just cared about his family.’
‘In the refugee camps, I saw people steal food from other families, have knife fights over money and blankets. We were all in the same position, displaced and traumatised. I don’t know why people were so unwilling to help each other.’
‘Where are your family now?’ Mark asks innocently enough, but you feel your heart sink a bit.
‘My dad was sent out on the recapture mission, you know, when they tried to retake Wall Maria. He died.’
‘Oh I’m-‘ Mark looks at you with wide eyes, as if he had no idea how to react.
‘I don’t really feel any way about it,’ you admit, interrupting him, ‘he was comfortable letting those people trapped in the houses die terrified. I’m sure he had enough time to prepare himself for death before he left, and as he rode his horse out of Trost. I knew he was going to die when he said goodbye to me, and I was quite numb to it then too. My mother left me and my siblings alone in that camp and went to work in the interior to actually make money. I imagine she’s a prostitute or something. I don’t know. I don’t hear from her.’
‘Does she know you’re here?’
‘Maybe. My siblings may have told her. Anyway. Enough about me, what about you?’
‘My older brother is in the Military Police,’ Mark explains, ’the grand jewel of our family… I think my parents want me to follow in his footsteps. But I have no idea what I want to do yet.’
‘Do you think you’ll get in the top ten?’
‘Probably not. I’m not as fit or strong as Reiner, or even Annie. And I don’t have Armin’s brains or intellect. I’m kind of just in the middle.’
‘You have Eren’s will,’ you point out, ‘you care about helping people.’
‘You’re really comparing me to Eren?’ Mark chuckles.
‘I’m not saying you’re arrogant, just that you have the passion.’
‘I know. I just don’t think I have the passion for being a member of the Military Police. I don’t think they really help people as much as I want to.’
‘They’re very culty,’ you grimace, ‘so weird.’
Mark chuckles, ‘you’re not wrong. Every time I see my brother he’s walking around the interior with a huge gun, probably bullying some random kids.’
‘Do you know what regiment you want to go into?’ You ask.
‘I’m still weighing my options,’ he shrugs, ‘the Garrison always seemed like the easy route, just patrolling the streets and sitting around all day. But now they’re basically partners with the Survey Corps. If the walls get broken, they have to fight alongside each other. Either way, I’m fighting titans. It’s mainly just a decision of how often I want to.’
’Wall Rose hasn’t fallen,’ you point out, ‘it’s been nearly three years.’
‘As time goes on, it gets more likely,’ he remarks darkly, eyes fixed on the table, ‘by the sounds of it, this colossal titan seems intelligent. Who knows when it will decide to strike next. Our lecturer said that titan behaviour is incredibly unpredictable.’
‘Don’t you think we’ll be prepared enough to fight by then?’
‘It’s the Royal Government that comes up with the evacuation and fighting strategies. They care more about the preservation of the interior than those in the outer walls. They probably half-arsed the whole plan. As for our training, remember what Commander Shadis said on our first day. Most of us will just be titan feed in the end.’
‘You’re strong though, Mark,’ you state gently, as if he were sobbing and you were trying to console him.
‘You think so?’
‘I know you are. I watch you fight for future every single day.’
Mark stays silent, mulling over your words.
‘You really inspire me to try harder myself. And you’ll be an incredible soldier.’
When Mark continues to be silent, your eyes dart around the room. You catch the gaze of Sasha, who is stuffing her face with the tiny amount of leftovers.
She wiggles her eyebrows at you teasingly, before getting up and walking out of the cafeteria.
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‘Nice one Y/N!’ Mark yells as you land a kick on Sasha’s shin, prompting her to fall to the floor clutching her leg.
‘Ow, Y/N!’ She shrieks, ‘I thought you said you would go easy on me!’
‘No titan will go easy on you, Braus,’ you hear Annie comment flatly.
Sasha huffs while Mark comes up behind you, gently turning you around by your elbow and giving you a high ten.
‘You’ve gotten so much better recently,’ Mark compliments, ‘I’m so proud of you!’
’Thanks Mark,’ you grin, trying to ignore the way your heart skips a beat by his words.
‘Yeah, nice going,’ Sasha grumbles, wiping down her now dusty thighs and shins, before turning on her heel and walking off to find Connie.
‘I still feel as though my fighting skills are a bit lacking to be honest,’ he confesses, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
‘Really? Who have you been practicing with?’
‘…Armin.’
‘Ah.’
‘Not to say that he’s weak or anything- he’s definitely not. There’s just a certain level you can get to where you just can’t improve anymore.’
No, I know what you mean,’ you try to empathise.
‘Maybe we can practice together? I-I mean, your usual partner is kind of… limping away, and I just think that you’re really great at this kind of stuff-‘
‘Mark,’ you giggle, reaching out and touching his shoulder, ‘it’s okay. We can fight. But just know, I’ll win.’
You take a few steps back as he laughs nervously. You drop your smile for a much more intimidating glare, raising your arms up.
‘Ready, Lee?’
Mark nods, awkwardly holding his own arms up to mirror your own.
You both stare at each other for a few seconds before either one of you strikes. You lunge forwards at him, swinging your right arm around his neck, to trap him in a headlock. He splutters in your ear, flailing his own limbs around in an attempt to wriggle out of your grip, but fails to do so when you throw out your leg and clip the side of his ankle with your foot, sending both of you to the ground.
He lands first, back impacting against the ground with a thud and a grunt from Mark.
You had imagined that he would let you go as he tumbled to the ground, but he doesn’t, clinging onto your arms and bringing you down with him.
A split second later, you’re also making contact with something, but not the ground. Your abdomens clash together, causing you to make an automatic ‘oof’ sound.
It takes you a while to adjust to the situation. You’re face to face, legs tangled together. There’s orange dust in Mark’s hair, sweat glistening on his forehead, eyes squinting while trying to get used to the sun, cheeks and nose red with the heat, lips-
There’s a few moments of silence, the two of you studying each others faces.
‘Ar-are you ok?’ You stammer, and for a few seconds he does not respond, still just staring at you.
‘Oh! I’ll get off,’ you shake your head, unraveling your twisted legs and clambering off of him, much to Mark’s silent disappointment.
‘Uh, you did good!’ You murmur, ‘just, um, try not to be caught off guard, next time.’
When you turn to walk away, you don’t fail to notice the way Krista and Mina are sitting on the steps of the watchtower, whispering frantically to each other.
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You don’t see Mark for a few days after that. Training becomes infinitely more rigorous, since you were split into four groups and sent to different parts of the forest for field training.
You had spent several days trekking through the rain and snow with your backpack on, and afterwards spending a few days recuperating.
Mark was in a different group than you, hence why you did not see him. It feels weird that he’s not there, like there’s a part of you missing, but overall you somewhat enjoy your few days away.
It also gives you the perfect opportunity to completely forget about your weird moment during your fight, and focus on building relationships with other cadets.
‘You don’t think Marco is cute?’ Mina exclaims with wide eyes.
‘No, I mean he’s ok-‘
‘Just okay?’ Hannah Diamant replies, absolutely stunned at your indifference.
‘She only says so because she has her eyes on Lee,’ Sasha teases, sticking her tongue out when you turn to glare at her.
‘Do not!’ You argue.
‘Do too!’ Sasha is in fits of giggles, ‘and he clearly likes you too.’
‘I doubt it,’ you mumble, suddenly feeling quite embarrassed.
’Nah, he definitely likes you,’ Mina chimes in.
Unbeknownst to you, a certain blonde had been paying a bit of extra attention to your conversation.
Hence why you were here now, violently stabbing at your dinner with a fork, glaring holes into Krista Lenz’s back while she whispered to Mark Lee.
‘I thought she was going out with that Ymir girl?’ You don’t have a clue who’s speaking to you. Your brain is swimming with anger, so fuzzy you can hardly think straight.
When Krista goes to whisper in Mark’s ear again, she places a hand on his shoulder, after which you’re plotting ways in which you could cut her fingers off.
’I wouldn’t worry,’ Sasha shrugs, ‘we know, and I mean we all know he’s in love with you.’
‘Even if you’re right, which you are not, I’m not her.’
‘Don’t be so worried you idiot,’ Mina half snaps half chuckles, ‘you’re gorgeous. And a total catch, obviously. Mark Lee would be dumb to not want you.’
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Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
‘What the actual fuck,’ you mutter, sitting straight up in your bottom bunk bed, coming centimetres from smacking your head.
You whip your head in the direction of the source of the noise.
And there he stands, Mark Lee, in the purple night at your window.
‘What the hell?’ You mouth.
He beckons, asking you to come outside.
You give him an incredulous look, trying to be as quiet as physically possible while getting out of bed and putting on your jacket and boots.
‘What sort of time do you call this?’ You exclaim, exasperated.
‘The best time to go to the lake.’
You can’t help but notice the smirk on his face as he turns on his heel, walking down the gravel path.
You quickly look around for possible bystanders, before following him.
His lantern lights the way as you walk down the hill in a comfortable silence, arms swinging at every bump and skip in your step.
The lake is glittering at this time of night, especially because of how high and bright the moon is in the sky.
‘I like to sit and have picnics in the moon rather than the sun. The food doesn’t melt and I don’t get sunburned.’
‘We’re having a picnic?’ You practically squeak, eyes widening to basically the same size as the moon above.
‘Well, uh, no, we are in a food shortage,’ Mark stammers, ‘but I did swipe some bread from Armin. Well I mean, he gave it to me, said he would take one for the team or whatever…’
’Thank you Mark,’ you interrupt him, grinning uncontrollably, ‘this is really sweet.’
‘But if it’s any constellation, I would’ve loved to have made you a picnic. When they take back the wall I promise I’ll make up a nice spread of food.’
‘Where’s all this come from, Mark?’ You wonder aloud.
‘I’ve just had a realisation recently,’ he admits, gulping.
‘What is it?’
‘I really like you, Y/N,’ he confesses, taking both of your hands in his and rubbing them with his thumbs, ‘and I know that you probably don’t feel the same, and that we definitely have much bigger things to focus on, but-‘
You cut him off by practically launching yourself at him, kissing him.
For a moment he is stiff as a board underneath you with his surprise, before relaxing and reciprocating your kiss.
For a while you sit there, under the watchful eye of the moon, eventually peeling away from each other when you become breathless.
‘I like you too, Mark. Being with you takes me away from this horrible reality. And I don’t know what the future will be like, but I know that I want you in it.’
‘I feel exactly the same way,’ he whispers, still holding your hands.
‘We have to pick our regiments really soon. I think that I might join the survey corps,’ you say, staring out into the lake.
‘I’ll go wherever you go,’ Mark murmurs, rubbing your cheek with his hand, which you lean into.
You sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, your head resting on his shoulder, Mark occasionally turning his head to kiss your hair.
‘What made you decide to tell me this now?’ You ask.
‘Well, let’s just say I got some encouragement from Krista and Sasha.’
’I should’ve known,’ you chuckle, ‘I’ll get them back later.’
Mark laughs, perking up slightly as though he had remembered something.
‘Ready to crack open the bread, baby?’
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writersplight · 3 years
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THE FATHER IS A DEAD MAN
For: @elijahlittle A/N: This bitch took me so long to write. I will probably post more because I enjoy pain caused by Erwin Smith. Enjoy <3 ——— Ena’s dream for the longest time was to be a beloved mother and wife. She has been looking for a husband ever since she left home, the desire for her dream to come true burning within her. For years now, since joining the Survey Corps, it had been put on the back burner, always in the back of her mind. Unfortunately for her, she fell for the commander. Erwin Smith. A monster of a man to some, but to her—due to years of chipping away at his exterior walls in private—he had shown her some of his humanity. Deep, deep down below the veil of a commander was a human that she has risked it all for. In his own way, he has shown how fond he has grown of her, too. Like almost a month ago, when Ena entered his room to hand him some tea she made, and they shared a passionate night together. Ena never thought she'd get that far with the commander, so she cherished every moment She could have sworn he said something about loving her, but she didn’t ask. She held onto that like a lifeline. Through all the recent mornings of her getting sick and feeling nauseated, she thought: “He said he loved me, so I’m okay.” It was all worth it. With the betrayal of Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover—the Armored and Colossal titan—and now news of the titans in the wall, and the Beast Titan, Ena was instructed to stay in Wall Sina and see a doctor. She didn’t argue, because she was growing concerned about being this sick in the morning. Also the increase in appetite. In hindsight, she should have known what was happening to her. However, that didn’t stop her from pulling him off to the side, and, though his eyes were distant, and he wasn’t the Erwin she knew then, she told him to “Hurry back alive”. The doctor confirmed it, after she waited for a few hours. Half of her dream was being achieved. She was going to be a mother. Only three weeks along, she could see her life unfold. Maybe this will be the thing that grounds Erwin, and ties him to her officially. Up until now, she was content with the privacy, with the late night whispers and touches. But now. . . She awaited them to come back, a nervous smile on her face that didn’t match the others. There were always injured soldiers, and reasons why missions extended passed what she was told. That was normal. Her light blue eyes wandered for the commander, going from distressed teen face to distressed teen face. Something was off, that was more than apparent. She grabs onto Levi and Hanji’s arms, searching for something in their faces. “Where’s Erwin? I have some news I have to break.” Ena’s voice is wobbly, seeing their face grow grim. She’s sitting at a table, where some cadets and Levi join her. Armin sits farthest away, at the end of the table, head leaning down. “Ena. . .” Hanji starts, but quickly stops, looking at the ground. There’s no point in crying, is there? Not all over again, after crying before. It’s not what’s expected of them now. As the 14th commander of the Survey Corps. . . “He’s dead.” Levi finishes, getting up for tea. He gets her some. She’s filled in on the mission, the basement, the whole Armin being chosen over Erwin. She’s silent, taking it all in. Her eyes wander to Armin, who won’t even look up. Her heart squeezes, not able to imagine the pressure he must feel. Still, she listens, holding back her own news and tears. It feels wrong to be happy about it now. “So. . . Armin was chosen over Erwin?” Levi nods, slowly, bringing his cup to his lips. She nods slowly, mulling over the information. To her, though she misses him, it makes sense. She manages a small smile, turning her head. “Armin, come here.” She instructs, and he does so instantly. She takes his hands in her own when he sits in the chair to her left. “I can’t imagine the pressure you’re under. Bertholdt’s memories, the Colossal titan’s powers, feeling like you were chosen over Erwin—it’s a lot for a boy. However, you are not Erwin. You are your own
person. Do not let Levi or Hanji pressure you into filling his shoes. You’re brilliant on your own.” He looks mortified. She sighs, moving her hair off her shoulders. “You must, instead, promise me one thing.” She holds out her pink finger. “You must be the opposite of Erwin Smith, got it? You cannot lose sight of your dreams or your own humanity, okay? Can you promise me that?” Tears well in his eyes, as he locks pinkies with her. It was a difficult promise, one that he will most likely break, but Ena was already prepared for that. It was okay for Armin to break this promise, because it was only made to take the pressure off of him at this moment. “Right, thank you.” She pulls away from the burdened cadet. She sighs, looking down at her tea. It was untouched. She didn’t want any of it. She licks her lips, swallowing what little tears she had. Clearing her throat, she makes her announcement. “I’m pregnant.” And the father is a dead man.
She cries on her own time. She’s not going to be the strong soldier she built herself up to be. She’s not going to have the support of a husband. Her child isn’t going to have a child. Ena cries harder at the thought. On the left side of the room, but in a separate quarters, Levi hears her. It’s not like he was sleeping anyways. He says nothing, sitting in the loss of a friend and the mourning from another. ——— It’s a boy. Ena smiles, holding it close to her body. It was a long nine months, but so worth it. Her baby boy, so small and fragile. Her baby boy. Half of her dream is still completed. He’s alive and healthy. “What are you going to name him?” Levi asks, peering down at the small baby. He looks disgusted, but that’s just his face. “I don’t quite know. I haven’t given it much thought.” she whispers, the exhaustion kicking in. She didn’t know birth was so painful, or this long. She’s been in labor for ten hours. But, she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She has her baby boy, her dream, in her hands. What was once thought of unattainable, was struggling in her clothed breasts, peacefully sleeping. “What about ‘Erwin’—junior, of course,” Hanji suggests, and the mere thought of it made her clutch her baby closer to her chest. “If they share the same name,” she slowly says, continuing to mull it over, “will they have to share the same fate? Would I have to watch my son become desensitized to deaths he caused—to my own love? Would I have to watch him throw away his life, while I’m on the sidelines?” The blonde didn’t realize she was crying until Levi held out a handkerchief. She takes it, wiping her face haphazardly. Her eyes pierce the new commander, who gulps. “That’s not—” “No one can live up to his name, his selfish selflessness. I will give him a different name, and he’ll forge his own path.” She says, with finality, and Hanji nods, going to leave. Unlike Erwin, they could not stand awkward situations they made, and refused to sit in them. “I have thought about it,” Ena whispers, stopping them, “but look at him. My beautiful baby boy is part of me, too. It’s one thing to lose a lover that was barely yours, it’s another to lose your baby boy to a name he knows nothing of. . . I don’t want to rob him of any opportunities he has to be a regular boy.” They nod, leaving. Levi sighs, sitting back. Through everything, he’s still here. For some reason. It’s as confusing as it is comforting. Soon, the cadets come, amazed by the little baby. They were polite and quiet—those who got rowdy were threatened by Levi—and she handed her baby off to be held one by one. When it got to the last person, Connie, it had to be taken from him. He was crying hysterically for some reason, and his hands were shaky and unstable. He returned later, with flowers and an apology. “You’re going to apologize for crying, but not tell me why?” Ena jokes, shifting up in her bed. She was still sore and tired, but was restless. Her baby was sleeping in a cradle next to her. “Right, uhm—” he sits down, wiping his hands on his pants. “Sorry. He just—whatever his name is—he reminded me of when my youngest brother was born. I miss my family.” “Ah. . .” was all Ena said, leaning over to put her hand over one of Connie’s. Her eyes searched for the younger cadet’s, getting all the information she needed. Now that she was a mother, she could read people slightly better. It’ll only get stronger as he grows up. “Then I think you have a dream similar to mine. For different reasons. I had a bad, distant family, so I wanted to make one who was close. For how you act, I assume you had a close family.” The buzzcut teen nods, a deep frown on his lips. “You’ll find someone. Right now isn’t the best time, you’re still young, but it’ll come.” She advised, before pointing towards her baby. “That baby boy right there, should be enough motivation. You’ve got a big heart, Connie, I don’t doubt you’ll achieve your dreams.” He nods, and says something about how late it is, that they both need their beauty sleep. Ena stops the teen
soldier before he leaves, pointing to her son again. Her smile never falters. “His name is Ezran.” ——— It’s hard raising a baby and being in the Survey Corps, but she manages it as best as she can. What makes it easier is that everyone adores Ezran. He’s a bundle of joy, with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. Just like Erwin. In fact, he looks a lot like his father. Shares most of the same features. But his eyes. . . They’re a pale, dull blue just like Ena’s. Everything else is a copy of Erwin—as Hanji has said. Internally, she has agreed with them, but she refuses to say it is allowed. Ezran shouldn’t be compared to someone he doesn’t know. He doesn’t need that invisible pressure. Though, she hasn’t withheld stories of Erwin’s. . . accomplishments. She loves him, but she’s sure not to paint him in too good a light. He was immoral at times, and made their personal relationship rocky and uncertain, but a four year old didn’t need to know that. He just needed to know his dad was a hero before he was a man, and made raids like this possible. She stayed away from the fight, with Hanji and Onyankopon. She rocked Ezran, who was dozing off. He was such a sleepy baby, despite everything. He saw his first death tonight. Two little kids hopped onto the aircraft, and the smaller one shot Sasha. The commotion spooked Ena, and she ran to check. She couldn’t cover her son’s eyes in time. He saw Sasha’s limp body and everyone crying. He cried, too, much to his mother’s surprise. She expected him to gravely look down upon the dead body as if it meant nothing. It was in these minutes that she forgot her son was not his father. He still had his humanity. She held her son as he cried over his lost friend. Ena cried for another reason. ——— It’s all over. Eren sacrificed himself, and there are no more titans. Ezran and Ena are alive. Levi is alive. Hanji is not. It’s okay. Well, no, it’s actually not okay. Eren committed a mass genocide in seconds, leaving only a handful of people alive. She could rationalize it, however, because her baby boy was still alive. Though he had no intentions of killing him off, Ena recalled begging Eren on her knees in Paths to spare his life. “I don’t—he’s going to live,” Eren says, a promise in his tone. The blonde mother erupts in a new set of tears, pulling him into a hug. She couldn’t forgive him for that distanced, god complex he developed to trick Zeke, but this was a step in the right direction. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she chants, eyes blurry from the tears. If she couldn’t have Erwin, then she wanted her son. That’s all she remembers. But when it was wall over, the first thing she felt was Erzan running towards her with tears in his pale eyes. He couldn’t have understood this. She just reassures him that he’s okay, and that it’s all over now, though her leg is missing. It was chopped off before everyone went titan mode. She was okay with it being gone. Her son was okay, that’s all that mattered. She’ll explain it later, and as many times as he needs her to. But not in this moment, where she smiles and kisses his cheeks, mentally thanking Eren for being alive. Ezran is six years old. They live with Levi. He’s mainly confined to a wheelchair, so he needs help. With the help of Armin, Connie, and Jean, Ena was made a wooden prosthetic that is strapped to her hip. Her leg hurts most days, but she does her best to stay out of a wheelchair herself. Her son is so chatty, and he reads with an aptitude that even Armin can barely keep up with. His mind is a sponge, soaking up any information he can get his hand on. “Mama! I finished ‘A Wrinkle in Time’!” he called to her, holding out his copy. She wasn’t even halfway done. They talk about it, and she lets him spoil the ending for her, not wanting to stop his excitement. He looked so happy reciting his favorite parts of the book, she didn’t have the heart to stop him. “Mama, what are we going to read next?” She taps her chin, before shrugging. “We’ll ask Armin when he visits us later. I think it’s lunch time.” He
grabs her hands, pulling her into the kitchen. Ena puts her son on the counter so he can help. He stands, when her back is turned, and he nearly falls. She manages to dive and catch him at the last minute. She sighs, glad her reflexes are still working, before she begins tickling her son. “Be more careful, bug! You could have gotten hurt!” He squeals, trying to run from her. Pushing away from her didn’t stop her, and he couldn’t run far from her. He grabbed the first thing blindly, and pulled, not seeing until the last second it was her necklace. He gasps, looking down at the locket. He stops, prying open the heart. It was a picture of an older man, who looks just like him. It was the smallest drawing he’s ever seen. “Is this. . .” “Yeah, that’s your dad. Erwin Smith.” Ena sighed. Even with Ezran around, who looks like the spitting image of him, she still misses him. Sometimes, when she goes to bed at night, she dreams of Erwin meeting his son, and how happy he would be to see Ena’s dream. Once, she dreamed they got married, with little Ezran as the ring bearer. . . She sniffed, pulling Ezran onto her lap. She held him close, like letting him go would mean losing him forever. He didn’t seem to mind today, eyes on the locket. From what he could tell, it was drawn by that Horse Guy, whatever his name was. Gene, or Janet—it was hard to pronounce for the little guy. It was nice. For a moment, he thought: If I was like him, would Mama stop crying? It was only a whisper, before he turned to her with a question. “Can we go visit his grave today, mama? I need him to hear about the books I’ve read!” She thinks it over. When was the last time they both visited? Ena goes every other Saturday, but she only brings their son on rare occasions. With a content sigh, she nods. “Okay. We’ll go after Armin visits, okay?” She stands, offering him a hand. “Now, what did you want for lunch today, Ezran?”
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seirei-bh · 3 years
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Yes, I still love Eren
Ok, I didn't want to write this whole post because I don't like to discuss with other people and I always try to be patient, be quiet and just ignore this kind of stuff and keep moving foward with my life, but this is getting on my nerves.
Sometimes I wonder if some people on this fandom are a bunch of kids or teenagers who never have read/watch cruel and complex fiction stories before, like Berserk, Game of thrones, Evangelion, The last of us, etc, or just people so dumb they can't differ ficction from reality...
Repeat with me: people can love villains, people can love drama and horror in ficction and that doesn't mean those people are bad :)
It's frustating being an Eren's fan, because some people just can't understand that you can love villains and characters who are assasins or a bad person IN FICTION without being pro genocide in real life. Seriously, people SHOULD know the difference between fiction and reallity.
I love Eren Jaeger, because he's complex, well written and one of the most interesting MC I've seen in my life. I love the "hero-to-villain" arcs (like Anakin Skywalker). I love a lot of characters who are not good people because of their complex backstories, personnality or conflicted development. Ex: Joel of TLOU murdered a lot of innocent people at the ending only to save ONE person, but you can understand why he's doing that, despite you don't like his actions.
Besides, you know what? "White and perfect" heroes are boring.
A lot of people is saying now "I hate Eren, uuuhhh, you're a bad person if you love him uhhhh, Eren is the worst, he's the baddest of all the characters, the members of Alliance are the only good ones, Eren must die" only because in the last chapter we've seen the collosals trampling babies... seriously?? Yeah, I was shocked too and I feel sick and sad the first time I read it, but I can deal with it because SnK was ALWAYS cruel.
I guess people just conveniently decided to forget a lot of details of the first arcs and seasons.
Heeey, remember when Annie killed a lot of soldiers, all the Levi's squad and a lot of innocent people in the Central district while she was fighting agains Eren and the Survey Corps? She even played to yo-yo with one the the soldiers hahah :D Do you remember that Eren DIDN'T want to fight agains her and only did it because his comrades Armin Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Levi and others FORCED HIM to fight? oh, and innocent children suffered and died too in the middle of that fight. But of course, people just don't talk about it, because now Annie is now one of the cute wifeys of the "group of good heroes" :) (I love Annie and aruani, btw, but I just hate when some people are so hypocrytes to love Annie, Reiner and Bert, and also the members of Alliance and just sentence Eren for do something he was obligated to do to save his people, same as the Warriors tried to do to before to save people of Marley)
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Eren tried to find a pacific way to resolves the problems during 4 years. He infiltrated in Marley alone, cutted his leg and hurt his eye, and talked with Reiner, only to try to understand his actions. But while he was forgiving his enemy and old comrade, he was listening a lot of people of the world clapping and smiling when Willy Tybur declared the war and extermination of Paradis. And in that moment Eren got a sad expression on his face, because he understood the entire world was their enemy so he was forced to become in a mass murdered and the devil of the world to save his people.
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People of this fandom no longer talk about all the innocent people who were eaten by the titans that Marley dumped on the island. They don't talk of the number of Eldians that nations elsewhere have locked up in concentration camps, who are tortured and humiliated every day, simply for being Eldians, just like Jews in WWII, as we saw in Zeke's and Grisha's flashbacks. People forget Erwin, Carla, Armin's granpa, thousands of innocent people who lived inside wall Maria, and hundreds of soldiers died without even know the real reason why.
People in this fandom don't talk enough about Armin was the one who told Eren "to defeat your enemies, you have to become a monster", that Levi was the one who told Eren that he will have to take difficult choices if he wanted to survive, and that other people might die but he should be prepared to deal with it. That it was Mikasa who fought without hesitation against Annie and urged Eren to fight vs their enemies, along with Armin, Jean and Connie. That Hange and Levi tortured, killed and manipulated other soldiers in season three to archieve their purposes, that Reiner admitted in front of Eren that he destroyed the wall not because they forced him, but because he wanted to be a hero, so his parents could be together and be proud of him.
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No. Because it's much easy only to throw shit at Eren because he's killing babies of background characters who were totally fine with the idea to exterminate the eldians of Paradise, and yes, that includes inocent eldian children, Historia's baby and all the kids she saved at the orphanage. But I guess people is not ready to talk about this.
People don't talk about the fact Armin, Jean, Connie and the rest of the cast admited in ch 133 that they are sinners too. That they forced Eren to do this, that despite they wanted to stop him, they couldn't give him a realistic and a good alternative solution. That the Alliance killed their own comrades and ignored Eren's depression for four years. Now they regret ir but it's too late.
Btw, Armin is my favourite character of snk, and I LOVE Jean with all my heart and I like the rest of the cast. But all these things are true. Eren is the one who is commiting a global genocide, but the rest of the cast are not heroes, they're guilty about this as well. So stop picture them as heroes and Eren as the only villain of the world. This story is much more complex than that.
 If you can't deal with characters with complex moratily and cruel actions, perhaps you should go to read Fairy Tail, Bleach or Naruto, where things are solved because the perfect and heroic main character is a saint who can solves all the problems of the world with the power of friendship and/or is able to change the mind of everybody just using the "talk-no-jutsu". And I'm not saying this like a bad thing, Naruto is one of my faves mangas and I like B and FT too.
and about the ending, I see a lot of people expecting some kind of cliché and easy ending, like the typicals about heroes-vs-villains stories of most Marvel's movies and mainstream animes, despite of Isayama himself has said in lot of interviews he wanted to hurt his readers and he loves controversial stories of murderers and monsters.
I don't know how Isayama will finish this. I wish it could be a peaceafull ending where eldians and humans can solve all their problems, but snk was never so positive. If Alliance wins and kills Eren and Isayama still is able to do a realistic and logical ending, giving the world convincent reasons to forgive the eldians of Paradis after that, I will be satisficed. But if Eren wins and kill all the people of the world because that's really the only way to save eldians... I won't blame Isayama. I love bittersweet, different and controversial endings.
I don't want the Alliance to die, specially my babies Armin and Jean, I love them too much, but  whatever if is either Eren who wins or either the Alliance, I would like to see an ending where Eren's survives, because I think that would be very interesting, to see him dealing with the guilt of his crimes during the rest of his life, with some kind of PTSD and trying to keep moving foward with his life despite of that. That would be a million times more interesting than "just kill him because he's bad". No, he deserves to suffers the burden of his actions, same as Reiner did after he back to Marley. The scene when Reiner tried to suicided but didn't it because Falco and Gabi were his reasons to keep living made me felt a lot of emotions, I know a lot of people considered that scene like a meme now, but the emotional impact was amazing. So, if I could choose, I prefer to see a scene of Eren like that, instead ot just being murdered.
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sup-hoes-its-me · 6 years
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Castle on the Hill (Jean x reader)
A/N: Hi. I really like this song so i thought i should write something. This time, the story is in second person, and the reader is gender neutral. Basically, this is a friends to lovers story with a twist ending.
Word count: ~2,500
When I was six years old, I broke my leg. I was running from my brother and his friends.
The sidewalk was very unforgiving, as was your brother. He was playing with his big kid friends, since they all were twelve and you were only in kindergarten. Your big brother loved you a lot, more than your mother and father combined; but that didn't mean he was free from teasing you.
His friends were laughing at you again. Apparently, your hair was messy and your clothes were stained with dirt, making you look like a 'rag doll'. He wasn't laughing too much, but still, he was having fun with his buddies. Your little heart was breaking, as it did every time he teased you or made you feel like a little kid. You were six whole years old. That meant you were a big kid.
Quickly, you stood up, abandoning the mudpie building on the ground. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, but your hair covered it so they couldn't get a glimpse. How could he laugh at you like this? That's all you were thinking about in the moment.
As fast as your little legs could take you, you turned around and took off down the rocky path, heading anywhere but their direction. Your brother screamed behind you to come back, but you just kept running on short little legs. you was a good runner, and never ever fell. Yet, for some reason, you tripped on your own feet in the middle of the path.
When you went crashing down, a painful snap came from your leg, causing you to scream out. It hurt so much, worse than anything you'd ever felt before.
More tears streamed from your eyes as you continued to cry. You were such a baby.
As you struggled to stand and eventually gave up in a heap of heavy tears and painful aching, a boy walked up to your shaking form, his eyes wide with fear. He had a full head of shaggy dirty blond hair and his eyes were golden, like honey. He was about your age, but way taller. Everyone was taller than you...
"Hey! What are you doing here? My momma was scared since she heard you scream!" the boy exclaimed, kneeling beside the your scared and shaking form. You whimpered and pointed to the leg which was bent an awkward way. He cringed back, biting his lip to hold back his screams. You were shaking so bad, it would only make you feel worse.
He looked over his shoulder and then back down at you, holding out his hands. "My house is right there. Come on so my momma can call a doctor to help you," he urged, going to grab onto your hand. Hesitantly, you reached out and took his hands. Using all of his strength, he pulled you from the ground, only for you to scream more and shiver under his grasp. It hurt so badly to just move, and the pressure on your leg wasn't helping.
The boy took you under the arm and carried your hopping form to the front door of his house. "Mommy, let me in! We need help!" he shouted, waiting for a reply.
A tall woman with bright eyes and thick blond hair answered the door. Her eyes widened significantly upon seeing the sight before her. Two young children, one of her own in fact, injured and dirty. "Oh, Jean, what happened?! Get in here!" she exclaimed, taking you from her son and lifting you up over the threshold so she didn't hurt your leg more.
"Please, sit with them on the couch while I go send for a doctor."
And that's how you met Jean Kirstein. Your first and best friend.
Had my first kiss on a Friday night. I don't reckon I did it right.
You kissed Reiner in a game of truth or dare. It was late one Friday night, and everyone piled into the middle of the room, giggling and laughing their asses off, while trying to be quiet.
You remember leaning against Jean, whom everyone considered to be your surrogate brother by now. Outwardly, and even in your mind, you never really minded people calling the two of you siblings. It wasn't weird since you'd been friends ever since you were six. Yet, you found yourself cringing every time someone so lightly said it.
Were you really that close? Did everyone think of you as siblings? Did Jean think of you as a sibling? Your stomach turned awkwardly at the thought. You liked being close, but the thought of it being a family thing made you feel sick. At the time, you didn't know why either.
Suddenly, your name was called by Ymir, who was snickering like a wicked witch. That girl always gave you the major creeps, not to mention she was a total bully. Normally, she was only ever nice to her girlfriend Christa.
"How about I choose...(Y/N)," the dark-haired girl chuckled. You straightened a bit, eyes going completely wide with fear. "So, truth or dare?" No one ever picked you for these things. You always just hung out while everyone one else participated. Of course Ymir would be the one to force you to play.
You thought for a moment, but did you really have a choice? You would much rather do something embarrassing than give Ymir the power to learn any of your deepest secrets. "Dare."
"Wow, and I thought you were a coward," she laughed evilly.
Christa sighed, sending you a sympathetic look before reprimanding the tall girl beside her. "Ymir, that's rude-"
Sadly, her words were interrupted with the most terrifying request of the night. Her eyes were narrowed mischievously, so you knew that the second she spoke up, something awful could spout from her lips. "I dare you to make out with Reiner." Your heartbeat increased ten fold, and you clutched at Jean's coat anxiously.
She couldn't actually make you kiss Reiner? You really didn't want to. You were almost fifteen and hadn't had your first kiss yet. It was embarrassing and you never told anyone else but Jean. Now, you were going to be forced to waste it on something as stupid as a dare.
Part of you wanted to cry, and the other part wanted to run away. Either of those would have been better than what you actually did.
Reiner leaned over from two spots down, crawling over his best friend Bertholdt who sat between you. You cringed and looked away, trying to fight the urge to back out. "Come on. It's only a dare. I don't bite," he joked, his strong jaw fixed by the smirk on his face.
"B-but, guys...come on, isn't this a little impersonal?" You tried to ask, but Ymir only growled and pushed on your thigh with her boot.
"Don't be a prude, L/N!"
Jean just sat there the entire time, without saying a single thing or moving to help you. You were offended and hurt. Quickly, without taking a moment to think, you leaned forward and kissed Reiner as swiftly as possible. You pulled away and wiped your mouth of Reiner germs, grimacing intensely. That wasn't how you wanted your first kiss to be.
It felt so wrong. Completely and utterly disgusting.
"No way! I said to make out! You barely pecked him!" she protested. You sighed and leaned away, face beet red from utter embarrassment. Everyone was huddled in this circle, even Armin and Marco, and you didn't want to embarrass yourself any further.
You leaned forward again, letting Reiner take ahold of the back of your head. Her curled his fingers in your (h/c) hair, which was also a really weird feeling. Before you had a chance to prepare yourself, his lips pressed sloppily to yours. You didn't move much, and simply let him kiss you.
It felt all wrong and the person you were staring at was all wrong and the hand curled into your hair seemed too unnatural. Why? Why couldn't you just be a kid and enjoy kissing someone as handsome as Reiner? (lmao, reiner is definitely not that great of a catch)
I was younger then. Take me back to when I found my heart and broke it here, made friends and lost them through the years.
"Jean, I don't care what you say, I'm coming in!" You shouted, leaning against the door with a hand tightly wrapped around the knob. He'd been in the boys dorm room for hours. He didn't come down for breakfast, or lunch, or even dinner. In fact, he hadn't done his chores either but you covered for him.
You opened the door and walked in, shutting the heavy door behind you. Jean laid there on the bed, covers drawn up around his shoulders and his head tucked down into his pillow. Your heart broke for him, seeing him in such a crumbling state. He always tried to remain cocky in front of Eren and the others, but he was really upset.
Everyone is upset, how can they not be? The military is rough, and when someone dies every week from being in the survey corps, everything gets worse.
You didn't say anything else. Right now, all you could do was walk over to his bed side. You sat down on the edge of the bed, taking off your boots and throwing your jacket onto the floor. Without waiting for him to say anything, you collapsed on the bed beside him, curling up with your head resting on his pillow.
"I'll always be here for you, Jean. Don't ever suffer through this alone," You told him softly, pressing your nose into his hair. "Did something happen?"
"I was thinking about Marco, and Annie and Bertholdt and Reiner-" he confessed to quietly, his voice clean of any tears he might have cried before you walked in.
Sighing, you wrapped an arm tightly around his waist and hugged him. "I know. Marco was like a brother. I miss him a lot sometimes," your voice was merely a whisper. Truthfully, your heart ached for the freckle-faced boy who died too young by the worst means possible.
"And sometimes, I think about Reiner and Annie and Bert, and I still care about them. I still think it's cute how Bert always blushes and stutters, I still admire Annie for being so strong, and hell, Reiner was my first kiss. Those guys meant a lot to me, and even now that I know what happened, I still hate to believe it."
You just wanted to make him feel better. You loved Jean, you wanted to see him smile and fight proudly.
He shifted, lying on his back while you kept your arms wrapped around his waist. You stared at his profile while he mindlessly looked to the ceiling, his face void of emotion. His voice startled you when he asked, "Do you ever think about what life would be like if we grew up normal? If we still lived in Trost together?"
You thought about it a lot. In fact, you always thought of the two of you growing old together in that boring old town with his mother and your stupid brother. You would have been a member of the family business and he would have followed up his father's business.
You both knew that's what you really wanted. Didn't everyone want to go back in time and change the past...change that day when the wall fell?
"Yeah," you muttered, "We would have been so happy. My brother would have been a kick ass survey corps squad leader and my mom would have lived to see me working in the family business. You know... my mom always said we would get married one day. You and me, growing old together. Sounds like a dream now."
"My mom always said the same thing. She was always so excited about it."
"Jean, do you think we'll ever go back to those times? Living our lives?"
"I don't really know, (Y/N)."
You laid there for a while, simply resting to the beat of your hearts. His head came to rest in the crook of your neck and you rubbed his back along his spine, feeling his warmth through his shirt and on your calloused fingertips. Your lips were chapped from breathing so hard outside in the heat so you licked them subconsciously.
"Jean?" you asked, knowing he was going to answer.
"Hm?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
I still remember, these old country lanes, when we did not know the answers.
His lips were cold against yours, moving so slowly you thought you might melt in his arms. Your back was pressed softly in the doorway and your head was tipped back in his hand. You held onto his neck with one hand and the other was securely on his cheek, bringing him closer.
Even if this was the fortieth time you kissed, it was always a different experience. The hall was only lit by the moonlight coming from the window in your room, lighting your profiles subtly. Your heart was beating normally, unlike before when it would beat fast just when he held your hand.
You pulled away and pressed your forehead to his, hot breath hitting your lips at an even pace. It was bittersweet, the romance. Friends since childhood turned to lovers over the span of a decade. Sometimes, it still felt so weird to you. Was this even real? Were you even alive, kissing the one person in this world that made you feel nostalgic?
Beautiful?
Loved.
"It shouldn't be like this," You mumbled against his cheek, lips leaving phantom touches on his scarred skin.
"I know." He paused for a moment before kissing your temple. "I love you just the same, maybe more."
"Jean, we're eighteen. We could have been married by now. Sasha could be the maid of honor and Armin could be the best man and we could-"
"I wish."
There was silence, other than the rapid beating in your chests and your shallow breaths. The hall felt so cold and distant, as if you could never make it out alive. In a sense, that was completely true. No one would make it out alive, defeat all the titans, discover every secret of the universe...It wasn't going to work.
And one day, you all would die. Not by old age. You would die like all our fallen comrades
With honor and wings of freedom engraved into your hearts.
I miss the way you make me feel, it's real.
Eren sat beside the boy with two-toned hair, his hands resting on the ground while his eyes stared at the sky, the orange fading to pink and then fading to purple until the darkness was settling in. Jean was crying, silently, but nevertheless, thick tears were streaming down his cheeks.
For the first time in years, Eren actually felt bad for the boy. No one deserved this kind of pain. And for Jean to opening cry in front of him only showed how destroyed he really was. "I'm sorry."
What else was he supposed to say?
Jean pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly. His chin rested on his knees, still crying. He didn't dare look at Eren beside him. His heart was too broken to even think of talking to someone else at the moment. It would take time, he knew that, but at the moment, life was over. His entire world was burned.
"(Y/n) loved you a lot, you know? They used to tell Armin about your adventures together," he tried to say lightly, only to feel worse. Why would he say that? It probably only brought up memories. "I'm just so sorry-"
Eren felt the rage boiling in his stomach until he lost it, throwing his hands into the air and glaring out into the horizon. This wasn't right, nor was it something to be sorry about. It just made him angry. "God, why did this happen? Why do titans have to ruin everything?"
And we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill.
You were gone, just like everyone else in his life. The wings in his hand, stained with the blood of his fallen soldier, only served as a reminder to him just how much he lost. He lost his best friend, his lover, his soulmate.
His bed was sweet with your scent, sunken into his pillows and spilling from his sheets each time he threw back the blanket. No matter how many times he washed it, your soul still wafted there in the air like a ghost.
Yet, life goes on.
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titansealgair · 7 years
Note
✍ (For Sasha+Marco and+Eren if you want)
For marco: 
Dear non-living object,
Marco and I are going out again. We both have changed a bit. He became a vet and all that. It’s great. The party and the date were great and then I starteed going over for dinner from time to time. I had to stop yesterday though. 
I noticed that i was getting sick in the morning, and My feet seemed to be swelled. And now my period has been late for like two weeks. I looked it up and it said I might be pregnant all over the internet so i took a pregnancy test just in case.
And well, Im pregnant. I don’t know how to tell him. He’s the only man i’ve been with in a while so it’s obviously him. I want to tell him I really do but he is already super busy all the time and it’s this in person thing and all that. what if I tell him and he leaves me, what if he doesnt want anything to do with the kid. 
I mean I know he’s more sensible than that but.. I need to prepare for every possibility. I’m so scared right now. If he does get mad, or something then I already know what I have to do..
But i know i have a week till I can’t get an abortion, so I need to talk to him soon. I just. I need the courage to.He deserves to know. I just don’t want to loose him again like I did in highschool, I can’t go through that again. 
And it’s not like I can get an abortion and act like nothing ever happened. He needs to be told. He needs to take part in the dicision of what to do. IF he doesnt want it then i’ll get an abortion because i cant raise a kid on my own. but truthfully. I’d like to keep it if Marco would like to as well. 
I dont know right now to be honest my thoughts are everywhere. i guess-
i dont know. I’m gonna go i started craving fried chicken dipped in chocolate sauce.
~Sasha
For Eren:
Dear non-living object, 
Oh my gosh Eren is such a wus but other than that he’s great. 
Today i got a free lunch because he screamed first of a drop ride it was great. Then he was pretty fun in the squirrel cages, ussually people throwu when in a cart with me. ofh and then we phyced out reiner and got icecream out of it. You should have been there reiner screamed like a baby!. 
Other than that i totally hooked up connie and eren. I mean i already knew they liked eachother so it wasnt that hard. Im actually going to connies soon to gossip about it so bye!
~Sasha
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momtaku · 7 years
Text
SnK Chapter 92 Poll Results
The chapter 92 poll closed with 500 reported entries.
RATE THE CHAPTER (486 responses)
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This chapter had a better reception than the last one. Seeing Reiner and Zeke was cited as a factor by many. Also the action was hard to resist.
that was an interesting way to set up a new story arc. i don’t really know whether i liked it or not, and i’m really eager to see what’s going on with our main crew. i’m gonna reserve most of my judgement until there’s a bigger picture though, so i can fully see what’s going on and why Isayama decided to start like this.
I have no idea what’s going on anymore.
Switching perspectives and presenting intel for readers from new, fresh and different povs is an ability Isayama has like no other, tho can be criticized for its abruptness and the kinda unexplained way it came crashing to the story..but nevertheless I enjoyed it and I think Isayama aced it.
It’s odd, I can see the effort made for us to connect with these new characters. But that just isn’t working for me sadly. While this and the previous chapters have been useful, I would have preferred more SC content. In particular reactions to the recent losses
I have no idea if it was intentional or not but Zeke’s dramatic “War is bad” line right as he chucked a fistful of rocks at the boats was hilarious. Like stahp Isayama I can’t handle all this Edge.
Zeke did the superhero landing, now I can die in peace
I’m grateful as we’ve finally seen Zeke’s method of turning humans into titans and I believe it has nothing to do with his titan form since he’s able to use it without shifting
  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REINER’S NEW LOOK? (482 responses)
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Unsurprisingly, 86% of the fandom found something here to agree on. Reiner scored extremely well on the scale from “No Thanks” to “Hello Daddy”!
Reiner is getting hotter with each passing chapter. I fear we may rapidly be approaching a state of ultimate hotness that may be too much for us mere mortals to handle.
I am sad that “Hot Dayum Daddy-o” Is not an acceptable answer for Reiner’s hotness rating.
  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ZEKE’S SHORT HAIR? (483 responses)
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While the results were still favorable, Zeke’s long luscious locks were missed by a significant portion of the fandom. The scale from “No Thanks” to “Hella Hot” had the largest percentage of respondents sat right in the middle.
  THE DRUGGED ELDIANS BEING USED AS WEAPONS WAS THE MOST TRAGIC MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER. WHAT WAS THE #2? (483 responses)
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I was very curious what this result would be. I watch the poll numbers shift back and forth between sympathy for Reiner and the big picture view of Eldians as whole. In the end “The world’s view of Eldians” narrowly edged out Reiner’s flashback and comment about walls at the 2nd most tragic moment.
Seeing what actually fighting within the walls has done to Reiner–his trauma, etc. was an excellent contrast to the relative innocence the new cast gives off, and it’s heartbreaking to consider that the Warriors we know may have once been the same way. Eren & co. please arrive promptly and save them.
Reiners flashback scene was the most impactful moment in my opinion. It was so heartbreaking.
I thought poop machine was bad, titan carpet bombing is even more wtf
Devastating. To see the Eldians being used as mindless weapons was severely disturbing. And Zeke finally realising that War is indeed a terrible thing. 
These chapters are hella intense and enlightening about the world outside. It’s still really sick though. Totally sick I can’t even.
  LAST MONTH THERE WAS OVERWHELMING SUPPORT FOR GABI. HAS THIS CHAPTER CHANGED YOUR OPINION OF HER? (445 responses)
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Gabi’s glee in the last chapter didn’t sit well with some people. In this chapter she was more sedate, but still very much in it to win it, even accusing Falco of having ulterior motives for rescuing that dying enemy soldier. While the majority claim to have had no real shift in opinion, I urge you to look at the next question to see how popularity numbers have changed.
Her sympathy for her older warriors. that line with “Reiner… be careful” killed me
Her character seems more sympathetic. She was kind of a brat last chapter. This chapter she seems to actually see the realities of war.I was supposed to have an opinion on her?
I lost a lot of respect for her when she didn’t support Falco’s choice to help the soldier from the other side
Something that stuck out to me was Gabi’s concern for Reiner, “Reiner… be careful.”   It’s a bit odd, she wants his power (aka eat him) but is concerned for him?
I think it was kinda satisfying to see Gabi’s view on the world change since she seemed so cocky before hand.
I was supposed to have an opinion on her?
  WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE OF THE NEW RECRUITS? (471 responses)
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In the last chapter poll, support for Gabi is overwhelming. She had 38% of the popular vote and Colt was second with 25%. Falco was sitting in 3rd with only 19%. But look at how opinions have changed! Falco is new best boy with 37.2% picking him as favorite while Gabi has dropped more than 10 percentage points.
Gabi and Falco warmed on me but not enough. I still want to spend the whole volume on Marley before moving on.
It was really disturbing to realize that Annie, Bertolt, Reiner, and Marcel were once probably just like Gabi, Falco, Udo, etc. They might have been idealistic, prone to kindness even to their enemies (like Falco)…
  HAS REINER’S LUCK FINALLY RUN OUT? (474 responses)
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The overwhelming majority think Reiner’s streak of immortality will continue. This is one of those times that I disagree. I think Reiner’s titan age plus the severity of his hit may have weakened him to the point of no return.
I’m still sad about Reiner’s potential fate but I have to get prepared for him to die next chapter or in the chapter after. Poor boy only dedicated his life to an imposed duty since childhood without a break, on top of losing everybody he loved.
Since Reiner’s been knocked out (again XD) it could be a good time for the next chapter to open up with a flashback and end with him waking up?  He’s been kept alive for a while, and there’s obviously a reason for it.
Maybe im in denial but Reiner cant die yet, he’s the warrior that knows the enemy best and needs to teach someone to use the 3dmg (If he hasnt already in these 4 years)
  WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO INHERIT REINER’S TITAN FORM? (477 responses)
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Last month 39.3% thought Reiner would keep his power. Confidence has grown slightly in chapter 92 with 42.3% thinking he’ll stay around a bit longer.
i hope reiner will not gonna die because of gabi , if isayama want to kill him no matter what i want him to die like a hero
I really don’t want Reiner and Zeke to be replaced, as I don’t see how that would add anything to the story and many conflicts would never be resolved.
  WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO INHERIT ZEKE’S TITAN FORM? (473 responses)
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Last month 55.4% thought Zeke would keep his power. That number has increased to 58.6% with The Jaeger Brothers Reunion Tour cited as the primary reason. 
The real difference here is that last month 26% thought Colt would be his successor. That number is down to only 16.3% with Falco gaining the difference.
I wish they would show why zeke was the holder of the key to the whole story.
I don’t think Zeke is going to get eaten, not soon, at least. He’s got so many plot points that require him
I can’t wait until Eren re-unites with Zeke.
Perhaps I’m really reaching, but I hope Zeke was genuine when he said he’d save Eren.
I refuse to bid Zeke farwell before he gets to see his lil bro once more
DA BEAST DADDY IS DA BEST DADDY.
  WE GOT A LOOK AT GALLIARD’S EXTREME AGILITY. DO YOU THINK HE ATE YMIR? (474 responses)
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Last month 39.8% of people thought Ymir was dead. While this question isnt identical, it carries the same thought. 69.2% of people think Galliard is a new and unique shifter and not a recycled Ymir.
While Gaillard is agile, Ymir’s titan didn’t have the special jaw design, which would be weird AF if she really was the “Jaw Titan.” So I’m pretty sure she’s still safe
I feel 50/50 about the probabilities of Galliard eating Ymir, but the agility he has is not a proof, i don’t believe the “every titan has a unique ability” thing.
I hope Ymir isn’t dead not just bc she’s my bae, but bc, contrary to Reiner to who I don’t see relevant to the story anymore, so, Ymir is…
YAMS my man dude bro I wanna know the dealy-o with Ymir ASAP thx
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE PIECK AND GALLIARD’S HUMAN FORMS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER? (475 responses)
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People are curious, but seeing Pieck and Galliard as humans is not as important as seeing the main cast.
I’m really hoping to see Galliard and Pieck’s human forms soon. Since there were many parallels between RBA and EMA and Zeke is said to be like a warrior Levi, I’m hoping for Galliard and Pieck to be like some warrior versions of Erwin and Hange.
I do want to see Galliard and Pieck’s human forms but not if it means we get another Marley chapter. It’s time to go back to the real protagonists.
HOW READY ARE YOU FOR THE MANGA TO MOVE BACK TO OUR MAIN CAST? (486 responses)
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I’ll leave this one without my usual commentary :D
All I hoped for was to at least see Reiner and Zeke again. But I’m ready to see my children again next month. :’)
honestly I really want to see Eren’s side again, but I think it would be extremely entertaining to discover what exactly changed within the Walls and the Scouting Legion from Reiner/Zeke/Marley’s point of view once they will actually attack them. It would mean more surprises which is always good, no matter how much I’m dying to see what our other characters look like now.
please @ god i miss our main cast babies
I can’t wait to see Eren & Co! \>o</ Maybe Armin had grew his hair into a Ponytail too!
back to eren, please
fans are making too much drama for the recent lack of the main trio and the 104th squad. I’m more happy to learn about new characters outside the island and see differents points of view about the world
It’s all well and good to introduce new characters but this late in the story, after all these very dramatic plot/character changes and massive mystery revelations it’s a bit… abrupt, to suddenly be with all these new people.  I feel like it’s a different series and no one told me about it.
WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST (484 responses)
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Last month 42.1% cited the 104th as faves; 33% favored the vets; 10.9% said the warriors. This month the warriors saw the a nice increase, moving up to 14.7%.
Final thoughts
There are more chapter thoughts in this post. If I didn’t publish your comment, please know that I read it and I thank you for the support. Even though these polls are more silly than serious, I enjoy getting a perspective that’s wider than my own. Thank you!
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