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Hello, Void

[stuff a reader should know about me] I have had a few blogs but I have never included myself in them. An attorney I briefly worked for encouraged me to study puzzles in college if I wanted to take the LSAT one day. So I chose computer science as my science requirement, and spent college learning that I know little and fall short. It became clear to me then that law school was not in my future and maybe writing wasn’t either. It takes courage to write and I had run out of that.

[how I got here] A history professor told me that I should consider becoming a music writer or music critic. I was shocked; I was failing his class and had only done a piece on a performance for extra credit. But it mattered a great deal to me that he shared that and I still wonder today why I’m not doing that. I focused on finishing my degree, becoming a developer on a software team, going to grad school. And all of those things have happened. Why couldn’t I have a blog?

[the “not like other girls” syndrome] I once joked to a friend in college that too many girls were taking our classes and thus the bathroom was crowded. She told me she knew I wasn’t really joking. I wanted to be “the girl” in the computer science hall. In my writing classes, I was praised for my narration, my pacing, the emotion I could evoke. But when I read what my peers wrote, I felt so… normal. I had wanted to fit in with everyone else my whole life but to realize that I actually did fit in, that I wasn’t a prodigious writer or some demigod chosen one, crushed me.

[making a space for me so that others might make some, too] That means that my advice is applicable and my questions, doubts, solutions can resonate. When I was little I thought to have an impact I had to be unique or special to be important to my community. I’ve found that my sameness is what makes my seat at the table powerful.