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megalony · 11 months ago

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Resemblance- Part 7

Thank you all for the lovely feedback on this Evan Buckley series and for all the ideas you've been sending in, they really help.

I hope you will all like this part, thank you for waiting while I finally got round to finishing this part.

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Summary: When Evan introduces (Y/n) to Eddie, she resembles someone he used to know. And he can't help himself when he's around her, leading to frightening behaviour.

Enjoy.

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"I don't understand…"

Tilting his head back, Evan ran his hand across his jaw and down the back of his neck. His nails scratched into his skin enough to draw blood and create deep indents into his skin. Deep rouge lines appeared like cracks in his pale skin and dragged down beneath the collar of his shirt.

He could feel the doorframe digging into his back right near his spine, but Evan couldn't take his eyes off of Chris.

Then twelve year old looked the smallest Evan had ever seen him. He looked fragile, fractured, panicked. And Evan couldn't blame him.

His eyes raked over Chris, watching as his legs slowly swung back and forth with the heels of his feet disappearing behind the bed, hitting whatever games or toys he had hidden under there. Both hands were clenching around the bed cover and his body was leant forward like he was about to flop down onto the floor.

His chin was tilted down into his chest but his eyes were staring up through his lashes, locked onto Evan like he was a beacon.

"Where's dad going?" Chris sounded awfully young when he said that and it brought a shiver tearing down Evan's spine.

With a sigh, he pushed off the door frame and trudged across the bedroom. He thought it was a good idea to try and talk to Chris here, at home, and then get him to pack. And it had to be Evan who had to explain. He couldn't trust Eddie to explain without breaking down or giving up and trying to talk everyone out of this idea.

But they had all agreed.

Eddie had found a programme he could work with. It involved staying on a ward and entering therapy group sessions and one to one sessions with a counsellor. He would be around doctors twenty four seven and if he agreed and they thought he might need medication, they could do that too.

He couldn't go back to work yet anyway, Bobby had signed him off on leave and he couldn't go back to work without having an assessment first to clear him.

He knew he was lucky. (Y/n) didn't want to press charges, she didn't want the hassle that would entail and it felt cruel. Despite everything Eddie had done, he needed help and charging him wasn't going to help him.

All that was going to be on file was a domestic incident. It was Evan's way of having security. If Eddie tried anything ever again, they would already have it on file that he had been involved in a domestic incident so they had some sort of proof if they ever needed it.

"He… he's coming back, right?" Chris didn't give Evan chance to respond to his first question. "Mum left us, she didn't wanna come back."

He watched Evan plonk down on the bed next to him and reach out to slide one hand up and down Chris's back. His other hand brushed across his jaw again as he tried to gather his senses.

"Your dad would never leave you if he didn't have to, and he will always come back to you. He doesn't wanna go."

Evan knew this was going to be hard. He knew the moment he told Chris that Eddie had to go and he had to come and stay with Evan, that Chris was going to panic. He didn't want his dad to go, he would revert back to the memories of his mum leaving and when she came back, it was clear Shannon wasn't sure if she wanted to be in Chris's life permanently or not. And then she died, she ultimately left and he could never see or talk to her again.

Chris didn't want that to happen with his dad. He couldn't lose both parents, he had to have his dad around, he didn't want to be apart from him.

"Then why's he going? Where's he going that I can't go too?" His dad had brought him down here to LA from Texas.

When Eddie needed a fresh start away from his overbearing family and away from the memories of Shannon, he brought Chris with him. He couldn't bear the thought of his parents looking after Chris and being apart from his boy. Why was this time any different? Why couldn't Chris go with him this time?

Evan took a deep breath and shuffled back an inch on the bed so he could twist to the left. He wanted to be able to look at Chris when he told him what was happening, he wanted this to go smoothly and he didn't want Chris to panic. This was his nephew, the kid he looked out for and cared about as if he were his own son. Evan never wanted to hurt him or have anything else hurt Chris, he wanted to shield him from the world.

"Your dad… he's- he's going to stay at a facility for a while, in a hospital. At the minute, it might just be for a month, but it could be longer, and you can't go to a hospital with him, buddy."

"He's sick, like grandma?"

The fear in Chris's eyes had Evan's chest shuddering and he let out a trembling breath, doing his best to stop himself from shaking all over. He knew Shannon's mum had battled cancer and eventually lost. He knew Chris barely got to know his grandma before she died and that was why he was closer to Eddie's parents, they were the only grandparents he had left.

"No, no no buddy he's not sick like that I swear."

"Then why's he going to hospital? Buck, why?"

"Chris… you know the phrase die of a broken heart? Well it's true, scientists don't actually know how or why or have a name for it, but sometimes when people lose the one they love, their heart gives up. They can't carry on and they die from heartache."

Chris nodded. He was with Evan so far. He didn't know that was true, but he knew Evan was full of random, fun and inquisitive facts about almost every situation possible. He was always telling Chris something new.

"Your dad's got a broken heart. He misses your mum, and he's not gonna die from it, but he needs help. He's not well in his mind, he's made some bad choices recently and we want to get him help so he can come back to work, and come back to be with you."

Evan wholeheartedly believed in the phenomenon that people died of a broken heart when their loved ones passed. He had seen it. He had seen couples pass away after the other one died. He had seen parents wither away and fade when they lost their children. The mind gave up trying to continue and the heart couldn't beat on its own anymore. He had seen it in animals too, it was real.

And right now, Eddie was heading that way. He was lovesick after someone he lost. It didn't matter that Eddie's relationship with Shannon had been turbulent and broken and estrangled. She had been the one for Eddie and now she was gone. His heart was still beating strong, but his mind was fragmented from loss.

If he didn't get help he was going to hurt himself or do more damage to Evan and (Y/n) and Chris and everyone around him. He was going to hurt them all and if he pushed things too far, none of them would ever recover.

"What did he do?"

Evan didn't want to say. It seemed wrong, everything inside of him was crying out for him to gloss over this, to tell Chris the moderated version of events. But Chris was twelve, he understood a lot more than people gave him credit for and he deserved the truth. He deserved to know what had happened because he needed to see how unwell Eddie was and why he needed help.

If Chris knew what had happened, then he would be the reason Eddie got help. Chris would want Eddie to get help and Eddie wouldn't be able to refuse or back out if hs son told him to get better.

"You know (Y/n)?"

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, well, she reminded your dad of your mum… a lot. And it upset him, he started to think she was alive again. He uh, he had a breakdown the other night, and he hurt (Y/n) by accident. I don't want him to get any worse or hurt himself, do you get what I mean?"

There was more, there was so much more that Evan wanted to say. He didn't want Eddie to hurt (Y/n) again, he didn't want Eddie to frighten her more than he already had. Or to pin her to the wall or force himself on her or smash her through a door or try and lock her in her own home and take her hostage.

Evan wanted to keep (Y/n) safe because he loved her to the end of the Earth and he wasn't going to let her get hurt or let her walk away from him to save his friendship with Eddie.

Eddie was the one causing all this mess, he was the one who needed help and right now, sat here with Chris, Evan could see things through a different perspective.

He could see the person Eddie was. A kind soul, protective of those closest to him, striving to do the best he could for his son, wanting to help people and look out for them. He could see Eddie struggling, wanting the old life he had, wanting someone to love him the way he had felt only once, with Shannon. Feeling so broken and desperate that his mind played tricks on him and made him do anything to get his girl back.

He could see all of that because Chris loved his dad and he knew Chris was Eddie's world.

But when Evan was at home, when he had (Y/n) in his arms, all he could think of was how cruel Eddie was.

He had forced himself on (Y/n). He had frightened her. He got so blindly drunk that he let himself into her home, locked her in and then tried to pin her down and hold her hostage. He attacked her when she denied him and tried to get him to see the truth. He fought her so hard that he knocked her through a glass door and caused her to aspirate.

He shell shocked (Y/n) and almost made her break up with Evan because she didn't want to come between their friendship. And despite being influenced by grief and drowned in sorrow, there had to be part of Eddie that knew what he had done. Because he cried. He said sorry. He begged for forgiveness. He could see in the daylight that (Y/n) wasn't his wife and he had no right to do what he did, even if part of Eddie didn't remember everything he had done.

There were two sides to every story, and Evan was trying to see this from both sides, but it was hard.

"Is she okay?"

"She's okay, I promise. And your dad will be better once he's got help. I said you can come and stay with me and (Y/n), so you can still go to school and I'll always look after you. But if you'd rather stay with your grandparents in Texas, I can always make that call for you. It's your choice, buddy."

It was always going to be Chris's choice, but it was never going to be Eddie's choice.

If Eddie wanted his son in his life, he had to get help. If he didn't, Evan would let Athena take matters further. He would go to social services and explain what had happened. They wouldn't let Chris stay with Eddie when he had attacked someone and held them hostage in a drunken rage.

But if Eddie got help, they would do this informally. Chris would stay with whoever he chose and it would be like a mini vacation, just staying with a friend for a while. No social services involved and Eddie would get Chris back as soon as he was better.

When Eddie made Evan Chris's guardian in his will, he made Chris his responsibility. It was Evan's duty to look out for him and if he thought or saw that Chris wasn't safe, he would do what he could to protect him.

It seemed like a better choice for Chris to stay with Evan and (Y/n). They had a spare room downstairs behind the living room, it was small but it would do just fine for Chris to stay with them. He could bring any of his games and books and the loft was close to his school, his friends and his Abuela. But if Chris would feel safer going to Texas, Evan would try and make that happen.

All he wanted was for Chris to be safe and looked after, he didn't want him to go but if he wanted to, Evan wouldn't stand in his way.

"If I stay with you, can I visit dad?"

"You can see him every week."

***

When the sound of tepid, tender footsteps caught his attention, Evan cast a glance over his shoulder. His lips immediately curved up into a grin and his nose crinkled when he looked across at (Y/n).

She one of his oversized jumper on that pulled down over her hands making her look like a child in their parent's clothes, but it was a somewhat sweet look. Both her hands were rubbing up and down her arms and scratching through the thick material of her jumper.

The smile on her face was one that made Evan's stomach pool with adrenaline and had him wanting to melt on the spot.

Evan realised a second too late that he had been staring for a while when (Y/n)'s lips rolled together and her head tilted down to hide her blush. He could stand there and drink her in forever if he had the time.

"What're you boys making?"

(Y/n) moved over to the island counter and leaned forward, arching her back out as she folded her arms over the countertop.

She would admit that Evan looked very appealing in his 'Kiss the Cook' apron which was dark black with a spatula on the front and lots of red and pink kisses dotted all around the front. He had a short shirt on which showed off the way his arms flexed when he moved around the kitchen and his lips creased lovingly when he smiled. Even from this distance, (Y/n) could see the stubble painted across his face and it only made him more appealing.

Then there was Chris. Stood beside Evan like his apprentice chef, a ladle in one hand and a taste-testing spoon in the other. He had a smudging of orange at the corner of his mouth and a cheesy smile on his face that creased his eyes so much he could barely see.

"Lasagne," Evan finally responded, clearing his throat and swiping his tongue out over his lower lip which had suddenly gone very dry.

The steam from the cooker made a shiver roll down (Y/n)'s spine and she realised it was making Evan a bit tense, his arms were straining against the short and rather tight sleeves of his shirt. And a trickle of sweat rolled down his cheek and traced along the vein in his neck.

"Smells good,"

Her eyes cast over the cooker and the worktops, taking in how much effort they had put into making a simple lasagne, making it anything but plain. The white cheese sauce had been made from scratch and so had the bolognaise, the only thing store-bought was the pasta sheets. But (Y/n) knew Evan could make those sheets if he was in a proper cooking mood.

"Want to taste test it?" Chris waved the spoon in his hand towards (Y/n), begging her with his eyes to come over and test their work of art.

Every day off Evan had, he and Chris had been cooking together. They had made cottage pie, homemade pizzas with homemade sauce, they even ventured into making ratatouille which had been a success.

Both of them had done their best to make Chris feel at ease and comfortable while he stayed with them. Of course he had stayed with Evan before and Evan knew all of his routines, but this was different. He had never stayed with Evan for a long period of time, except for when Eddie got shot a few years ago and they had stayed at Chris and Eddie's home that time.

It seemed to be going well. Chris was settled in after the first day and they all had their routines. (Y/n) picked Chris up from school, Evan dropped him off when he wasn't at work. Chris helped with the cleaning, they had a lot of movie nights and cooking together and they were trying to plan two days out a week, whether that was going out to the zoo or just for a walk in the park.

Chris was happy and settled with them and that was all that mattered.

"Of course I do."

(Y/n) grinned brightly and headed over to the boys. She rested her hand on Chris's shoulder and her other hand clamped down on her hip. When she lifted her eyes, she caught the way Evan was looking at her and the way he swiped his tongue over his lower lip which had her shivering.

She leaned down so Chris could hand her the spoon to test the bolognaise. "You two could open up a restaurant, you know." She ruffled Chris's hair and took a step back so they could start layering up the lasagne in the dish.

"Alright, wanna go set up a game before tea?" Evan leaned back against the counter once the dish was in the oven.

He patted Chris's shoulder and watched him hurry out the kitchen towards the living room. He had been here two weeks now and he was doing great in adjusting to such big changes.

Once he was off, (Y/n) turned towards Evan and narrowed her eyes when she noticed the quirky smile on his lips. But when he leaned his right hand on the counter and looked down at his apron, her shoulders sagged and she couldn't help the giggle that left her lips.

"Oh, I see." She murmured quietly, looping her arms around his neck and pushing up on her tiptoes so she could press a chaste kiss to his lips.

She felt Evan's arms circle around her waist, his hands flat out against the middle of her back while he pulled her chest flush against his. She could feel each breath he took, deep and slow but when he stooped down for another kiss, she noticed his pulse quickening. He couldn't seem to help but smile into the kiss, especially when their lips parted and his tongue darted into her mouth, fighting for control.

Her nails scratched lowly into the back of his neck, raking across the short hairs before reaching up to knot her fingers in the curls at the top of his head.

When they pulled apart, (Y/n) let her cheek rest on his shoulder while her hand came down to drag her fingertip slowly across his cheek. She couldn't help the smile that danced across her lips that peppered tender wet kisses against Evan's neck.

"What's that look for?" Evan spoke softly against the top of her head, realising he was swaying them from left to right as if they were having their first dance at their wedding.

"Hm?"

"That melting look." He reached up to drag his thumb across (Y/n)'s cheek and near the corner of her eyes.

There was something tender in her eyes and the way her lips quirked up to one side made her look so adoring and sweet. Evan wanted to know what was going through her mind right now, he wanted to know what was making her smile like that so he could see that look more often.

"You're really good with him, you're a natural." The way Evan was with Chris was what made (Y/n) smile like that. Seeing him get defensive and protective over Chris was one thing, but to see him around him was something else.

To see the way Evan always tried to listen and understand or how he got Chris involved in everything made (Y/n)'s stomach pool with adrenaline. Evan made sure Chris didn't feel left out, that he did all he was capable of, he helped him with homework and calmed him down when he didn't understand the work and got confused. He always stayed calm and she had yet to see either of them fall out. Their dynamic was sweet.

"Thank you." He chuckled softly and tilted his head down to kiss the top of her head.

It wasn't the first time Evan had heard that. He was always babysitting his friend's kids, he had always been first on the list to look after Chris and Maddie knew Jee loved Evan the best out of all their family.

(Y/n) knew he was good with kids, he had a personality that radiated with them and he could always get on their level and understand and listen and be patient. And he was a beaming, enthusiastic person that could light up a room so of course kids levitated to him. But it was lovely to see Evan day in and day out with Chris rather than just seeing glimpses of him with kids for a few hours here and there.

"You'd be a great dad." She murmured the words so quietly into his neck that he almost misheard her. But when her words registered in his ears, his smile turned beaming.

He pushed back against the counter and spread his legs so (Y/n) could stand between them. He slithered his hands down to hold (Y/n)'s hips and he tilted his head down so he could look at her properly. He felt (Y/n)'s hands graze down from his neck to rest against his chest, her fingers slowly scratching into his shirt that she seemed to be focused on.

"Oh yeah? You thinking about us having kids?"

The thought made Evan smirk, he couldn't help it. It was the same way he had looked and thought about (Y/n) when he saw her having a mini tea party with Jee a few weeks ago. He loved that (Y/n) was integrated into his family, that everyone loved her and she made the effort with Jee, one of the most important kids in Evan's life.

He knew (Y/n) would be a great mum and of course they had talked about it, they were engaged now after all.

"I'm late."

"What?" Evan's smirk changed into a smile and his nose crinkled upwards as his lips parted. "What are you late for?" They didn't have any plans that Evan knew about.

But when (Y/n)'s head dipped to one side and her lips pressed together with a deep breath, Evan's lips formed an oh shape.

A shudder jolted down his shoulders and along his spine and his hands tightened on (Y/n)'s hips until his fingers were almost puncturing through into her hips. He stood up straighter, pushing off the counter while he held his breath, hoping this wasn't some kind of joke or a trick being played on him.

"Really, w- how late?"

(Y/n) kept her eyes on Evan's chest until one hand left her hip which tingled in his absence and she felt his fingertips gripping her chin. He tilted her head back and leaned down until she finally let their gazes interlock.

She hadn't been sure how happy Evan would be about this, the timing wasn't great, she knew that. It hadn't been long since the ordeal with Eddie who was still in the hospital in the middle of his recovery. They had Chris staying with them, things weren't right at the station now that the core team knew what had happened. No one knew how to regulate and get back to a sense of normality.

But she couldn't change it, all she could do was wait to find out if she was actually pregnant or not. It could be a false alarm, but she wasn't so sure.

"Enough… I was gonna wait another week to be sure, and do a test. You okay, w-what are you thinking?"

A gasp tumbled past her lips when Evan's hands slid down her thighs as quick as lightning and he hoisted her up. Her arms moved to lock around his neck again and she held her breath, biting down on her lip as she hooked her legs around his waist to secure herself on his torso.

She had never seen such a broad smile on his face and the look in his eyes was one that (Y/n) could drown in. She could already feel her lungs about to pop and adrenaline was swarming throughout her body that was turning numb.

She thought Evan would be apprehensive because of the timing and the situation. They were looking after Chris, they didn't know how long he was going to be here with them. A baby meant they would have to look for somewhere a bit bigger to live. They had only just gotten engaged, they weren't even married yet.

But this reaction showed he was more than overjoyed at the thought of having a baby and (Y/n) was almost worried that if it turned out she was just late, telling Evan was going to be disappointing.

"I think you're gonna look gorgeous with a bump."

***

A sigh tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips as she looked up at the clock on the wall while her nails raked up and down her thighs.

Maddie was late.

If she didn't get here soon, Chris was going to miss his visit to go and see Eddie. For almost three weeks since Chris had moved in with them, he had been going to visit Eddie at the hospital twice a week. He went on a Wednesday after school which Carla took him for the visit, and then he went on a Saturday afternoon and had a bit longer to spend with his dad.

It seemed to be doing them both some good, Chris didn't feel so confused or lost when he still got to see his dad and he could see that Eddie was in fact doing okay. He was consolidated that Eddie wasn't about to die or disappear on him. And Eddie calmed down when he saw Chris, he had his reason for continuing with the programme and to get himself better.

If Evan wasn't able to take Chris to one of his visits, either Carla or Maddie had been stepping in to help. Maddie was always offering to do whatever she could to try and help, she had dropped (Y/n) off to her own therapy sessions quite a lot too.

(Y/n) jumped back against the sofa cushion when her phone started to buzz on the coffee table.

It was Maddie. Maybe she was parked outside ready to take Chris and bring him back later this afternoon. Maybe she was finally on her way and was ringing to say she wouldn't be long and to get Chris ready.

"Hi," She breathed down the receiver, moving her other hand to rake through her hair as she sat forward and slumped her elbows onto her knees.

"Hey, I know I'm supposed to be taking Chris today but Jee's been throwing up and now she's having a meltdown. I don't think I can take him."

(Y/n) felt like she was going to be sick. What was she supposed to do now? Evan was at work and so was Chimney, Hen and Bobby. None of them would be able to come over and take Chris there and it wasn't as if Chris just needed to be dropped off and picked up.

Because he was under eighteen, Chris had to have supervised visits, he wasn't allowed to be left at the hospital. He could be left in the room with Eddie for a few minutes at a time as long as someone was right outside the door and able to look through the window. Whoever took Chris had to stay there with him for the entire visit.

How was (Y/n) supposed to do that? Would it be good for Eddie if she turned up right in the middle of his recovery? Was seeing (Y/n) going to set Eddie back?

Something deep down within (Y/n) told her that Eddie wasn't going to make progress or do well if he saw her right now. She could set him back miles in his progress. But if she didn't go, Chris was going to miss a visit. He needed these visits, he needed these few hours to be with his dad and keep that connection. And these visits were what Eddie was living for, he would break if he missed a visit and had to go a week without seeing his son.

"It's okay, I'll sort it."

"Are you sure? I don't want to let him down-"

"No, no you're not, don't worry. Just ring me later so we know how Jee is, will you?" (Y/n) couldn't believe the calmness that tangled through her tone and masked the panic bubbling up inside of her.

She didn't want Maddie to feel bad or panic about this when she was clearly worried about her own daughter. As long as she let (Y/n) and Evan know later if Jee was alright or not, there was no need for Maddie to panic.

"Of course I will, thanks."

(Y/n) began to tap her phone against the palm of her hand before she looked back up at the clock. There wasn't time to call round and see if she could find someone else to help her out. If she wanted Chris to keep this meeting and not be late or miss out on any time with his dad, she was going to have to take him now.

She was going to have to see Eddie.

She hadn't seen Eddie since the night he took her hostage in the flat. The last memory she had of him was Eddie pinning her to the wall. His hot breath on her neck. His rough fingers scratching up and down her thighs. Pulling her shirt and yanking on her underwear. The feeling of his heavy body crushing hers when they fell into an abyss.

A shudder crawled down her spine and she realised a tear had traced down her cheek at the memory.

She brushed her hand across her face and stood up, feeling her head start to spin and her stomach churn as she turned towards the small box room at the back of the living room. It was poxy, barely bigger than a cupboard, but it was the only spare room they had in the apartment. And it was easier for them all to stay here than for the couple to move into Eddie's home for the time being.

And Chris didn't seem to mind the small room. He had put posters on the walls and the door, his games and books were neatly lined up beneath the bed. There was a tv on the desk that was squashed between the foot of the bed and the wall. And Evan had stuck up hundreds of glow in the dark stars to the ceiling because Chris's new obsession was space.

(Y/n) tried to stop herself from shaking as she rapped her knuckles on the door and gave it a gentle nudge.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

Chris was sat on the bed, jacket on, backpack beside him with a few books and drawings that he wanted to show his dad. He turned off the tv and grinned, nodding his head enthusiastically.

"Is Maddie here?"

"Um, no, Jee's not well today so I'm gonna take you. If that's alright." She slid her phone into her back pocket and started to rub her hands nervously up and down her hips.

She was surprised to watch Chris's smile broaden and he nodded, bouncing up to his feet like a kangaroo before he reached out for her hand. He had grown fond of (Y/n), he was starting to refer to her and Evan as his aunt and uncle and he was more than willing for her to take him today.

It didn't seem to dawn on Chris that (Y/n) tagging along might stir up some memories and problems for his dad.

(Y/n) hooked her bag on her shoulder and once Chris had his bag and shoes on, they headed out the apartment. She let him swing their hands back and forth, rambling about one of the new tv shows he had started to watch. He was a lot like Evan, once he learned something new he loved to ramble and spill every detail and new fact he had learned. And (Y/n) was more than happy to listen to him.

Her hand absentmindedly moved to her stomach that was churning and rotating like a washing machine. She was going to be sick. Her throat was turning dry and the muscles were tightening and closing off, rubbing together awkwardly. Everything was bubbling and fizzing in her veins and she could feel the shakes setting in her system.

It didn't take long to reach the hospital and as soon as they pulled up, (Y/n) felt her fingertips turning numb and her arms began to shake.

"I uh, I don't know where we go honey, you're gonna have to guide me." She held her hand out for Chris who happily entwined their fingers and took the lead.

"It's not far, dad's on the Daffodil ward." Chris found all the different ward names rather amusing, but he wasn't fond of the name of his dad's ward.

Although he thought the ward itself was lovely. Lots of large feature walls dotted around, a clear white tiled floor with flecks of sparkles and black spots glazed on top. Bright lights and skylights built into the ceiling, and all the visiting rooms were lovely.

Plush chairs, books, music, windows looking out onto the gardens and the room he got to visit Eddie in was spacious and they got to be alone.

(Y/n) let Chris drag her through the main entrance, head to the stairs and up to the second floor. All the while, her free arm bound across her waist like an iron bar to try and prevent herself from being sick.

God, if (Y/n) really was pregnant, the baby was going to be doing summersaults and it was turning (Y/n) green at the gills.

She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be doing this. Seeing Eddie was going to bring the nightmares back and it was only going to cause problems for Eddie. But they didn't have a choice. Chris needed this, he needed to see his dad and Eddie needed the stability and comfort of being around his son.

And if Eddie saw (Y/n), it might put all his hard work to good use. He would have to control himself and the thoughts he had when he was around her. Eddie would have to remind himself that this was (Y/n), a completely different person to his wife. She wasn't Shannon, she didn't belong to him and he couldn't kiss her or hold her or be close to her. Eddie would have to start seeing reality and this would give them a rough guess at how well Eddie was doing in his recovery.

If this meeting went well it would prove that the programme was working for Eddie. If it went south, it showed he needed more concentrated help or a different method of treatment to get his mind back in order and control the impulses he had whenever he saw (Y/n).

"Over there." Chris leaned his head on (Y/n)'s arm and pointed to the reception desk once they walked through the bright yellow doors to the Daffodil ward.

(Y/n) forced her feet to move and pushed herself over to the desk which took her weight when she slumped her hip against it.

"Hi, we're here to visit Eddie Diaz."

"Of course, room two, as usual. Go through lovey." The receptionist smiled across at Chris and gave him a little wink which told (Y/n) she was usually on shift whenever Chris came to visit his dad.

Every pulse of her heartbeat vibrated through (Y/n)'s skin and thumped horribly in her ears. Her lungs expanded to the max, pushing out against her ribs as she realised she couldn't release or take in a new breath. Sweat started to form like crystals glistening on her skin and her palms were slick and grubby with sweat.

Each step closer to the door had (Y/n)'s body breaking out in shakes and a quiet murmur stuck at the back of her throat when Chris let go of her hand and pushed open the door.

Why couldn't she just wait out here for him?

Eddie wasn't a danger to Chris, he was going to be a danger to (Y/n) if she walked in that room. He would be fine to be alone with his son for their session, it would do them both some good. But (Y/n) had to go in, she knew she did. This was her moment to prove to herself that she was okay, that she could stand up for herself and be around the man that had attacked her more than once.

She could see how well Eddie was doing in his recovery and try to get them all back onto a normal track.

If she and Evan were going to get married, Eddie had to get used to her being with his best friend. Eddie had to get better for (Y/n) and Evan to be able to move on. They had to get Eddie back on track if they really were having a baby and if they were going to tell him that they were having a baby.

And (Y/n) instinctively knew that they were going to have to tell Eddie if they were pregnant, while he was in this facility. There was no way they could let him recover and get settled back at home to then break the news. Telling him they were getting married and possibly having a baby was going to send Eddie into another spiral.

It would be best to tell him while he was here so he could be monitored and looked after and if the news set him back in his progress, it wouldn't matter. Because he would be here and be helped and pushed to get back on track again.

Terror pulsed through (Y/n) like she was a boombox when she shuffled over the threshold and quietly shut the door behind her.

Her eyes locked on Chris as he dumped his bag down on one of the chairs and bolted across to the plush leather sofa in the middle of the room where Eddie was sat.

Eddie slumped forward and deadlocked his arms around Chris, letting out a breathless laugh as he pulled his son between his legs, crushing him into his chest. His lips pressed against Chris's curls and he squeezed him tight, swaying from side to side.

"There's my boy! You okay? How are you doing?" Eddie pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek and pulled back enough to look at him. He cupped Chris's face and kissed his temple.

"I'm good, I missed you."

"Oh I missed you too."

Chris looped his arms back around Eddie's neck and reeled him in for another hug which elicited another laugh from deep within Eddie's chest.

But when he opened his eyes and lifted his gaze towards the door, every part of Eddie's body went rigid. His heart hammered itself into his ribs like it was trying to impale itself on his bones. His blood turned thick and cold and gloopy in his veins like it was clogging up and becoming stuck. His muscles went taut and stiff and locked in place when his eyes set on that familiar figure.

That long glossy hair. Those deep swirling pools in her eyes. The dip in the middle of her lips and the way they were plump and lively. How she had both arms wrapped around her waist in that anxious habit he remembered so well.

Every nerve in his brain started to misfire. Wrong signals were sent every which way, his arms tensed and relaxed continuously. His feet began to tap against the floor, his lungs stuttered and had him gasping for breath.

"Hi Eddie."

Just her voice was enough to restart his blood rushing throughout his body and Eddie couldn't help the way he gulped and closed his eyes for a second or two longer. Revelling in the sound of her voice and the way she said his name like it was sugar on her tongue.

"Hi."

He sounded breathless and somewhat confused which (Y/n) could understand and relate to. She leaned her shoulders back against the door, staying as close to the exit as she could in case this meeting went south. She didn't dare step forward, she didn't want to be close enough to Eddie that he would be able to reach out and touch her. She didn't want his gaze on her, let alone remember the feeling of his rough hands groping and pulling at her.

As she stared across at him, she fidgeted from foot to foot, anxiously trying to decipher something. The way Eddie was looking at her was confusing her.

Looking at her like that, did he see (Y/n)… or Shannon?

#imagine #911 imagine #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley imagine #buck x reader #buck imagine #eddie diaz #resemblance

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