#resolutions: make more shit
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So... 2024.
- Barney C.
- Learned some Blender basics
- Went back to Seattle and ECCC
- conceived and oversaw installation of massive new interactive exhibit at work
- conceived, designed, and produced massive temporary centennial display at work
- scored a Marriott room first try for D*Con 2025
- interviewed for and got senior curatorial position at work
- lost one of the horses to a terrible bout of colic
- lived in a cabin on an island for three days
- lost my new (very cool) boss five days ago in a climbing accident (still processing that one)
- met some of THE coolest possible people at D*Con this year
- half-assed a Blue Shift!Barney cosplay
- printed and built a whole-ass AR2
- rescued a very fresh calf that had spent the night in the ditch outside the barbwire fence
- acquired a resin printer and learned how to print 3D stuff in resin
- learned basic electronics for cosplay bullshit
- Barney's Civil Protection helmet
- got marginally better at running
- took lots of naps with the cats
- climbed one (1) mountain with @veradune
Here's to 2025!









#the greats have been great#and the bads have been deeply distressing#and will continue to be#but grateful for the health of family and friends#resolutions: make more shit#climb more mountains#draw more shit#get shit done at work#don't take shit at work#take more barney photos#including some proper ones of the Blue Shift kit#finish watching hlvrai so I know what the Kids™ are on about#play through HL2 with the dev commentary
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idk maybe it’s just because i’m aro but i truly could not give a shit if ivantill was requited or not. like i will ALWAYS hold firm in my belief that they were CLOSE, till always saw ivan as a friend, but like. i don’t know if it was romantic for him and i don’t really care.
because the tragedy of ivantill is what could have been. if they had more time. maybe till would be able to see past his idolization of mizi. maybe he’d return the kiss, or maybe he wouldn’t. maybe they’d never speak again. maybe nothing would change maybe everything would change maybe they’d stay exactly the same but now they hold hands sometimes.
but they never had the chance to find out. they’ll never know. i think post round 6 all till could think about in those few hours he had was what if. what if what if what if everything was different. and not having an answer. never having an answer.
i don’t know if till loved ivan the way ivan loved him, but he deserved the chance to find out.
#does this make sense the tragedy isn’t it being unrequited the tragedy is he didn’t know until it was too late there was no closure#no resolution#idk if it’s an aro thing to see “unrequited” love and say Who give a shit but it feels like it#shoutout to my “unrequited” shiguang that is more romantic from lg and more platonic from cxs is still loving and mutual and devoted#no one’s feelings are ever exactly the same that’s not a bad thing#sorry feeling aro about love and relationships again and because i love till he’s been arospeced#alien stage#alnst#till alnst#ivan alnst#ivantill
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heres my assorted black jack doodles i spoke of. idfk where my other ones are (last one is from MAY BTW.)
#my art#black jack#black jack manga#kuroo hazama#tezuka star system#see i didnt forget a tag this time HAHA!!!#ignore the curly hair glasses haver from the second to last one pleaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .#need to seriously get my shit together and finish art more i think i made less art than last year#that. was a resolution of mine#to make more completed pieces#average i93bpm L........#anywwaayss i hope someone enjoys these#theyre not amazing but i like them kinda
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Im bad at writing coherent things but I need to get this concept out of my head so it stops haunting me.
I had this idea for another fic called The Undine Colony.
The setting would be the second colony by the sea- started when Sol is in their forties- the story taking place an unknown time after that.
It starts with the alarm that the original Stratospheric colony has gone silent. Collapsed all its networks, killed every signal, spirited away every colonist. As it still houses much of humanity's most advanced tech, like the servers for their holonet, essential parts of the power grid, this is an issue of extreme urgency.
And who better to turn to in their moment of need than Sol? So here they are suddenly jolted into wakefulness.
Their first thought is that they cannot feel their body. They quickly learn they are not in fact the real Sol, but only an AI copy made of their brain-scan from many decades ago. Though they cannot access the future vision as an ephemeral bit of software, they have superior computing on their side.
The gist of it being that AI Sol is now in charge of the 2nd colony to replace the hole left by Congruence, all while being tasked to figure out whats happening to the og colony & trying to reestablish contact. Aaand trying to piece together their own existence on top of it. Trying to find out what even happened to the original Sol. If they have something to do with this blackout.
So yeah, itd be slowly unfurling that mystery, piecing together the gap in their memory & issues of personhood.
#texted post#why yes I have played SOMA and it did irrevocable damage to my psychology#true pain is still being unsure if I should just spill the twists and resolutions or not#on the off chance I do end up attempting to write it after all...#bcus yes I do know whats happening uwu#and if sol is alive n what they have been up to#theres some very very fun revelations abt that in particular#also very much based on my fave greg egan stories#aka making a fucking digital copy of yourself to inhabit your smart tech#severence also has good shit like that...#torture yourself until you finally agree to live this subpar existence#one big downside to it is that itd p much be an all new cast#much of the og cast would be dead or very old and most likely stayed w the original colony#like I could maaybe get away w a middle aged nougat or smthn but thats not much to go on. n maybe some gardener contact...#getting a small dose of good feedback(even when its on an unrelated fic) sure does awful things 2 my brain like suddenly inspire me to want#to do more of it#i was a teenage exocolonist#if somebody wants to adopt this idea we can talk uwu
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‘is this about that blue haired girl whose picture you keep in your wallet?’
#if i think i spent 2 hours on this just for the quality to be ass i might kms#a pic from my phone has more resolution than the actual i can’t make this shit up#anyway the sims wasn’t working so i made this yay#life is strange fanart#life is strange: double exposure#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#fanart#digital art#paint tool sai#okay now goodnight
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lcb sillyposting
#ishmael lcb#outis lcb#don quixote lcb#lcb#limbus company#mine 2024#lcb oc#teddy has more of a page but it’s way too big the tumblr resolution would be so bad#it’s on twitter if u wanna see the full thing#cw blood#cw smoking#don’t judge me too much for spongebobs load out i was just making shit up
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I hate when I search for a specific product, get the specific product page from Google, click in, and there's immediately three different popups suggesting other products, inviting me to their mailing list, and offering discounts (but only if I buy a certain amount). I MIGHT be interested in the discount, but not if I have to clear the popup just to look at the product page, and I don't want anything else! The fact that I searched the exact product and went right to the page suggests that I want to research and/or buy THAT PRODUCT. You already have me giving you money. Why are you making it MORE DIFFICULT to engage in that transaction?
#i know you want more transactions#but you're not gonna get that by annoying me!#i have more than once gone 'fuck this' and just. left the page. product unbought#when the popups didn't play nice with my 150% screen resolution#if you're gonna do that shit at least make it ACCESSIBLE to people#motherfuckers
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Also I'm just gonna say that even if it were true that Rodimus was a """""true Prime"""" and Optimus wasn't, that isn't as much of an L for Optimus as people seemingly want it to be.
Like so you're telling me Optimus was never a chosen hero and the burden of the Matrix/leadership pained him morally, emotionally, and physically, yet he still survived 4 million years of war?
You're telling me he wasn't God's Designated Special Boy but he still tried his best to live up to that impossible ideal to the point of developing serious depression and suicidal ideation as a result of so much goddamn loneliness and self-doubt?
Optimus wasn't a "true Prime" and yet he still believed in ideals of reconciliation and ending the cycle of violence? He wasn't a true Prime but he still stayed on Cybertron trying to fix a broken, broken society while also trying to stop Earth from being invaded for a second time? He didn't even need to do that he could've just stayed in exile which he was originally supposed to do all along, and which he would've personally preferred?? You're telling me that Optimus wasn't Primus' Specialest Boy And Chosen Leader and yet he stepped into leadership anyways bc he perceived that there was injustice to be fixed??
Wow yeah I guess Optimus is just such an inferior leader, clearly his actual actions/moral character as person don't matter and his "worthiness" should be judged solely on whether the Magic Cybertronian 8 Ball liked him or not.
#squiggposting#idw op love#literally the more you deconstruct it the less sense it makes#ppl want rodimus to be Validated By Canon as being better than optimus soooo badly#i get it you cant like rodimus without shitting on optimus#however when you get canon wrong i can and will roast your theories#if optimus went thru everything he went thru but somehow still isnt worthy of the matrix#then what WOULD make him worthy??? like seriously#fighting to protect organic species from colonization didnt make him worthy?#trying to find diplomatic resolutions to a 4 mil year long blood feud isnt worthy enough?#doing all of this at the cost of great personal suffering to himself doesnt make him worthy??#being willing to fight and imprison his own autobots for trying to break the peace wasnt enough?#becoming villified by most of earth/cybertron by forcing them to cooperate wasnt enough???#optimus siding with the ultimate victim of cybertronian oppression and 'defeating him' by acknowledging his pain#isnt enough to make him worthy?? THEN WTF IS ENOUGH TO YOU PPL#nothing bc 'worthy of the matrix' is just code for 'validation of my fave'#and most of the ppl in this fandom dont even know OP did all of those things anywYs#also like MOST PEOPLE arent wielders of the matrix are they unworthy too???#WHAT DO YOU MEAN WORTHINESS?? WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS ALLEGED WORTHINESS#ON THE MORAL AND THEMATIC FABRIC OF THIS STORY????#literally idw optimus embodies the same values that rodimus does#it's all about love and forgiveness and building a better future and choosing kindness over violence#And if you dont get that optimus represents those just as much as rodimus did well#you prolly didnt read very closely lol
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4 NEW BENDER DRAWING INTO THE FIRST WEEK OF THE NEW YEAR?!?!!? *explodes*
I don’t know where this energy is coming from, but I’m not complaining 😄
#i’m also on the verge of finishing the next chapter of familiar#i didn’t make a new years resolution to get my shit together or be more productive or anything#it’s just kind of happening#maybe it’s bc i’m being gentle and forgiving to myself idk#asks
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i haven't written anything for me in so long that i'm genuinely starting to feel like my soul is leaching out of my fucking body
#like no fanfic no oc stuff no nothing JUST SCHOOL. EMPTIES GUN IN THE AIR#like it genuinely makes me feel a little sick i cannot explain this. i feel like a little part of me is shrivelling up with every passing#month i havent really indulged in any real hobby outside of vidya games in a while#and even then.......... its not much#and its not like im at this massive loss u know its for good reason. im all as and bs in school#my new years resolution was to say yes to every plan and everything ive been invited to. im a very busy bee!#ive gone to more like parties and events and shit in the past four months than i did last year as a whole. i dont regret it#but like .............. its sad not to create#like idk i do hae this underlying sadness and yeah it can be attributed to ptsd or whatever but idk. this is different#this is sadness from not creating. I NEED TO FIX IT! BUT I HAVE NO TIME!
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#luly talks#i actually feel kinda iffy about this I'm gonna be kinda upset if they care more about the hand than the humans im not gonna lie#i really hope they pick up from riley and shit or close i need to see more.of that and of that blonde who actually looks a lot like the#skyrim guy y'know the one who makes the impressions on youtube yeah i want more of him#i WANT RESOLUTION FOR ALL THE PEOPLE INVOLVED AND FOR THE GHOSTS TOO#IF YOU THROW SUCH HUMAN AND TRAGIC GHOSTS AT ME IM GONNA YEARN FOR THEIR CURSE TO STOP MAN#talk to me 2023
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soooo if one of my old prentiss and sergio gifsets got hit with an involuntary mature content filter and i put 'wrong kind of pussy' in the appeal window do you think this will count against me orrrrrr
#i've decided to focus on my annoyance at this stupid filter thing going on to ignore real life and its actual problems#i've been resolutely putting 'this is a children's show for children' on my dw gifs that've gotten flagged bc Honestly#... some of my fanart however i'm honestly not sure what way they'll go with it#cuz like... i Did admittedly draw clothes on top of some mature fanart to make it suitable to post#but like... that means they're fully clothed lol what is your definition of mature here???#and some of the violence in the cm stuff is a ??#it's more blood stains in that lbr#cm shit
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If i seemed insufferable in 2024. Good. I intend to get even worse in 2025 <3
#i will make more art thats even more esoteric and strange.#i will watch more shows from the 80s and prior.#i will listen to music that nobody has ever heard of#and read just as niche books#maybe if i get my shit together i will find a martial arts class. um yeah my new years resolutions!
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ppl who larp about the Revolution™ almost seem to expect someone *else* to take the leading role in it all so they can sit inside on their asses and do jack shit, they know they have no meaningful skills to offer and would only slow people down, but expect to *somehow* magically radicalize most americans into doing all the work for them because awww dey're just such a weak wittle babu that needs to be pwotected and defwended awlways uwu
like. come on. get a grip. if everything went your way and someone actually stronger than you came along to take the lead, you're likely not being invited, and you'll likely be left behind... which means left to the alt right, who will no doubt come to your house to see if you're perpetuating anything "woke", and you gotta know they wont just ask, they'll barge in and look through everything even your computer.
though, you should really focus on your plan. your first step: get along with people enough to even actually convince them its a good idea, and we all know you'll never dare to try that shit. you cant even be on here w/o blocking someone like me for even suggesting you are approaching this like a child playing war and you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
you think you want a second holocaust (which is essentially letting trump win, i mean hitler got the majority vote in germany. thats how he rose to power. didn't just materialize out of thin air), but you dont seem to grasp the gravity of what that entails, or even that you'd be thrown in the camps with everyone else, all to stick it to jewish ppl and "the libs", even if it means you and all the ones you love die along with them. you are a net negative to humanity and quite frankly should be on a fucking watch list.
#tankies#accelerationists#i dont think the power of love and friendship is gonna carry you through this one guys#you're waiting for someone to come along and save you- this revolution is nothing more than a complex fantasy of you being saved#and protected. nothing more.#i understand you're scared. i understand you've made this idea your whole life and the only thing you dream about to feel better#about living in a world where you're oppressed and constantly in pain and have no power. it makes sense. i create such fantasies for myself#sometimes. but when we come back to reality- we cant expect to take the whole fantasy with us per se#the world isnt one day going to magically go exactly your way. its just not going to happen. it'd be nice if it did- we think- but it wont#you have to be more practical in this. you can use your fantasy as a motivator. a goal. be the change you want to see etc. etc.#but YOU have to take steps making it a reality. no one is going to be the all knowing person who saves you from all the problems#and can do all the things you cant do and save the day or whatever. it's never going to happen. you have to be that person#for yourself. if you're gonna larp about a revolution you have to at the bare minimum have this understood.#after that- you need conflict resolutions skills and to know how to communicate#you'll need to learn how to get along with people you dont like at all. you'll need to learn how to communicate your ideas effectively#you'll need to learn how to argue and defend your ideas and how to have the humility to be wrong and accept it and the ability#to change your mind. you'll have to educate yourself and keep educating yourself. you'll have to learn how to actually listen to other#ppl instead of trying to find a way to manipulate them to believe what you do#and after all that social stuff is out of the way- you need to learn some mother fucking SURVIVAL SKILLS BITCH#how to FIGHT and SURVIVE in any kind of environment. how to use weapons and build fires out of nothing n shit#if you cant manage all of that? you're fucked.
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now realizing that i haven't seen an edgepuff fic any longer than a oneshot since fucking. 2022. and not even a oneshot since 2023. god.
#I CAN'T KEEP MAKING MY OWN FOOD WHEN I ONLY GET MOTIVATION TWICE A YEAR AND BURNT OUT FOR THE REST. SOMEBODY ELSE DO IT PLEASEEEEEEEEEE#coffee shop mafia au fic that i stopped commenting on bc of burnout pls come back................i miss u so bad...........................#sigh. it doesn't help that with selfcest fics ao3 search is borderline unusable i'm not gonna lie#click on any tag that even remotely specifies what ship it is and get sent to the papyrus/papyrus tag. its all spicyhoney now fuck you#then even if u grab the search function by the neck and force it to specify the actual ship nobody tags their shit consistently 😭😭#sometimes it's the actual word edgepuff by itself. sometimes it's edgepuff - relationship. sometimes it's Ut Papyrus/Uf Papyrus - Freeform#sometimes it's undertale papyrus/underfell papyrus. sometimes it's papyrus/underfell papyrus#all of these tags need to be manually typed out in the additional tags filter and you can only search one at a time#but no matter which tag it is the most recent fic is a 1 chapter smutfic from 2023 by someone who primarily writes fontcest#sometimes i hate my ability to happily sustain myself without needing anything new. things would be so simple if i could just Move On#alas if i had the ability to lose interest in things due to lack of content i would have left the undertale fandom by like 2018#and well. happy new year#i kinda failed at my resolution to get more cringe on the normal blog last year tbh. maybe i should go even harder now to make up for it#i gotta talk about the intricacies of edge wanting to get dicked down by russ in the middle of snowdin forest on main. for my health#a full essay about russ's biting kink and why it makes their ship a whole different level of complex and compelling 2 me....i can dream
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Just wanted to pop in and say I love your work and that you keep creating! 💕💕
thanks you 🩷🩷🩷 i shall do my best!!!!!!!!!!
#spacie splains#new yeares resolution: make more garbage art#i think part of my problem this year has been that im too worried about making something spectacular. let me just make#some slop#whooo gives a shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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