#rhapsode plays DR1

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair watch DR1 pt 11

Monokuma: Allow me to read Sakura’s REAL suicide note…

*Remnant HQ*

Souda: Oh shit man, here it comes!

Ibuki: Pass the popcorn!

Sakura’s Note: My family’s dojo was threatened by Monokuma. He said he would spare it if I worked with him. At that moment, I became a tool.

Hiyoko: Oh, so the Ogre is a Peko?

Peko: A what?

Komaeda: Oh it’s a little joke we have. Anytime someone says tool we replace it with “Peko”.

Teruteru: For example, “Souda fixes cars using Pekos.”

Sonia: “You need to learn the Pekos of the trade.”

Gundham: “There’s a Pekoshed outside.”

Imposter: “Byakuya Togami is a massive Peko.”

Peko: I’ve never been so flattered and insulted at the same time.

*Back at the killing game*

Byakuya: Well, I’m bowing out of this game.

Monokuma: You’re WHA?!

Byakuya: This game no longer interests me. As such, I see no reason to play it.

Monokuma: Grrr! Byakuya, stop being a massive Peko!

Naegi: A what?

Monokuma: Tool. I said tool!

[arkus-rhapsode]

Byakuya: Honestly, if she wanted to prove she was innocent she should’ve just killed herself.

*Aoi slaps Byakuya*

Aoi: How could you say something like that? You’re a monster!

Byakuya: Did she just slap me? She just slapped me! I… I… I have never been so turned on than I have been at this moment.

Aoi: What do have to say for yourself?!

Byakuya: Anything you want me to, mommy…

Aoi: What?

Byakuya: I mean-H-how dare you, plebeian!

Naegi: What the hell am I watching?

[arkus-rhapsode]

Yasuhiro: If we’re gonna be here forever and not kill each other. We all need to get something straight.

Naegi: What’s that?

Yasuhiro: Our partners! I mean if we’re going to be stuck here, we may want to fall in love and recreate!

Aoi: Gross!

Kyoko: You’re jumping to conclusions.

Yasuhiro: Nah, man. I did some math. There’s five girls and five guys. Prefect pairs. So I call dibs on Hina as my wife!

Aoi: You can’t just “call dibs”!

Byakuya: What if one of us isn’t into women?

Celestia: Well if we are, I choose Byakuya. The Togami name would fit a noble like me, don’t you think?

Byakuya: In your dreams.

Hifumi: I love only 2D. But Kirigiri is so... doll like. *drools*

Naegi: Okay, hold the fuck up.

Kyoko: I consent to none of this!

Sakura: If I had to choose. I suppose Taka is the most moral man here.

Ishimaru: There shall be no relations until marriage!

Naegi: You’re missing the point!

Toko: So I’m stuck with Makoto? Damnit! He’s not even close to my type!

Naegi: HAS EVERYONE LOST THEIR MINDS?!

Monokuma: *Holding up shipping chart* Oh darn. I had so many wrong predictions.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair watch DR1 pt 9

Kyoko: Because you have my trust. I believe in you, Naegi.

Naegi: I believe in you too, Kyoko.

*At Remnants HQ*

Sonia: Eeeee! Makoto and Kyoko are so cute together! I hope they both live long enough to confess their love.

Soda: Uh... Miss Sonia... I gotta be honest, Kirigiri seems way too cold to Makoto. I mean she has kinda left him hanging. I think he and Sayaka were better.

Sonia: But she tried to frame Naegi for murder?

Soda: But she’s a bit justified...

Hiyoko: Sayaka is a base bitch! You just like her cause she’s hot.

Mahiru: Hiyoko. There was more to Sayaka than that...

Peko: Personally, I don’t really like Naegi with either of them. I felt more of a connection with Naegi and Ikusaba’s relationship. They really could’ve had something.

Fuyuhiko: What are ya talkin about, Peko? I thought you’d be on the Naegi and Celeste train.

Teruteru: Celestia was really sending a bunch of signals.

Peko: But she was lying?

Gundham: All lies are founded on a fragment of truth!

Nekomaru: What do you think, Akane?

Akane: I don’t know... Guess I’m here for Makoto and Sakura. I mean she’s the strongest.

Ibuki: Ibuki is really feelin Makoto and Toko! Byakuya seems like he’s passing on a prime girl. Go get it, Big Mack!

Mikan: If you ask me... Makoto and Aoi seem to make the most sense. They really seem like they’re on the same wavelength. Both similar in many ways, but different enough so they push themselves towards new horizons.

Komaeda: Naegi is becoming the Ultimate Hope. That logically means that he needs equal Despair to be in tandem with him. So the answer is Naegi and Junko. Hope and Despair as one!

Kamakura: ...Nanami...

Komaeda: Did you say something, Izuru?

Kamakura: No.

Imposter: How are you all so ignorant?! We saw who Makoto would stand beside despite their differences. It’s obviously Makoto and Byakuya.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Celestia: I’m quite comfortable here. Why don’t we just live together forever Makoto?

Naegi: I’d rather not, Celes.

Celestia: Oh come now, Makoto. Can’t you picture me as your wife?

Naegi: I kinda can, but I’d assume you’d rather want to get married in Atlantic City.

Celestia: Atlantic... What?

Naegi: It’s a place in America where you can get married and gamble at the same time.

Celestia: ...

Celestia: We need to leave this place now!

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair Watch DR1 pt 11

Aoi: Sakura... is dead?

Naegi: Why did this have to happen?!

*At Remnants HQ*

Soda: Alright, new body! We placing money down or what?

Komaeda: Hmm...

Teruteru: With such a reduced cast, it’s harder to place bets.

Peko: We know it can’t be Makoto or Kyoko. So that leaves Aoi, Byakuya, Toko, and Yasuhiro.

Mahiru: But it’d make no sense for Aoi to murder her best friend.

Mikan: Unless she’s finally succumbing to despair.

Imposter: No. she seems like she’s genuinely broken up.

Sonia: And we know it can’t be Genocider Syo as she only murders cute boys.

Ibuki: And Hiro is Hiro.

Nekomaru: SO THAT LEAVES BYAKUYA AS THE CULPRIT!

Komaeda: I don’t think so. Nothing about the crime scene makes sense for someone of Byakuya’s caliber. The crime scene is far too... Simplistic.

Fuyuhiko: So then who was it, wise guy?

Komaeda: I’m putting a hundred down on Sakura committing suicide.

Soda: Damn, dude!

Komaeda: Such a shame really. If only she fully gave into despair. The Ultimate Despair would grow even stronger with the Ultimate Martial Artist on our side!

[arkus-rhapsode]

Monokuma Reveals the traitor a little shortsightedly

*Remaining Students in the Gym*

Naegi: Are you here to present us with another motive like last time?

Monokuma: What? No no no no no no no. I’m hear to get out my pent up frustrations!

Byakuya: And that means what exactly?

Monokuma: Remember how Byakuya suggested he might be a spy working for me?

Kyoko: A spy?

Monokuma: Well the real spy is Sakura Ogami!

*In the monitor room*

Junko: -Sakura Ogami!

Mukuro: Sis, why did you just reveal who your mole was?

Junko: Because, my fat and dull witted sister, this way I can turn them against each other while also getting to watch Sakura suffer in despair for her deal with me.

Junko: Also, Makoto knew. So I decided that it be to put it all out in the open.

Mukuro: Okay, well... Did you think about what Sakura could do to you now that she has no reason to work with you anymore?

Junko: Elaborate.

Mukuro: Well she knows about the monitor room and the door-

Junko: Oh, like she would even dare-

Mukuro: Sakura left the gym.

*Smashing sound heard on the other side of the master door*

Sakura: MASTERMIND!

Junko: Maybe I didn’t think this far ahead. Siiiiis, would you be so kind as to defend me against the ogre?

Mukuro: * already fled from the room*

Junko: Oh... Crap...

Sakura: *Rips open master door*

Junko: Eep!

Sakura: *Radiating killer aura* You done goofed...!

[arkus-rhapsode]

Naegi: So this is the sixth floor…

Aoi: Something about this feels different than the other floors.

Naegi: Well… It has a karate studio, for one.

Aoi: No it’s something else. Like a darkness…

Naegi: I don’t think this place can get anymore creepy.

*Opens door to reveal a destroyed and bloody classroom*

Naegi: AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAH!

*Cut to Monitor Room*

Junko: Aaaaand Screencap. This is totally gonna be my wallpaper for the week.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair watch DR1

Naegi: Is that a camera? What sadist enjoys watching kids kill each other?

*Remnants of Despair watching the killing game on TV*

Komaeda: I have five bucks on Sayaka’s murderer being Leon.

Fuyuhiko: I’ll take that bet. I say it’s Kirigiri for five bucks.

Akane: It’s totally Celeste! That chick creepy!

Hiyoko: It was probably Hifumi. Pervs are often violent!

Sonia: What do you think Kamakura?

Kamakura: I don’t care.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Mondo: What are you, an idiot?

Ishimaru: Idiot...? I’m not an idiot, YOU’RE an idiot!

Mondo: You calling me stupid?!

Ishimaru: I’m not saying you’re smart!

Mondo: Onion-headed jackass!

Ishimaru: Corncob hooligan!

Mondo: Boot-licker!

Ishimaru: Rebel without a cause!

Mondo: I hate you!

Ishimaru: Hate you more!

Yasuhiro: Just fuck already!

[arkus-rhapsode]

Alter Ego: From what I’ve gathered, the mastermind could be the headmaster of Hope’s Peak Academy.

Kyoko: The headmaster?!

Naegi: Who are they?

Alter Ego: I couldn’t get a name, but the files state that they’re a man in their late thirties.

Hagakure: Wait, has this whole killing game just been how someone is handling their quarter-life crisis?

Genocider Syo: Couldn’t they just buy an overcompensating motorcycle like the rest of us?

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair watch DR1 pt2

Komaeda: Looks like I called it on Leon being the killer. Pay up.

Fuyuhiko: Fair is fair.

Sonia: Do you accept Novoselic currency?

Nekomaru: ...

Kamakura: You’re pretty silent, Nidai. Any thoughts on the death of your former pupil?

Nekomaru: Yeah... Kuwata deserved it for skipping practice all the damn time!

*At Hope’s Peak*

Naegi: I just got a chill up my spine and don’t know why.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Naegi: *Examining the Monokuma Bottles* Hmm…

Kyoko: So have you found the correlation yet, Makoto?

Naegi: *Looks at broken glass on the ground and bottle on the self* Mmm… Nope.

Kyoko: You… Can’t think of anything?

Naegi: I am stumped.

Kyoko: Not even like a little correlation? Like an obvious conclusion anyone would jump so?

Naegi: Nah, I just can’t figure out what this Monokuma Bottle and broken glass bottle next to a loose Monokuma figure would have to do with each other.

Kyoko: …

Naegi: Can you give me a hint?

Kyoko: Just sweep up the damn glass.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair watch DR1 pt 7

*In the bathhouse*

Ishimaru: It’s all clear to me now...

Naegi: Taka... Are you okay?

Ishimaru: My fighting spirit is overflowing? UUUUUUHHHHHHHAAA! *White energy surging off him and eyes on fire*

Naegi: ...

*Remnants of Despair hideout*

Mahiru: ...

Peko: ...

Ibuki: ...

Souda: ...

Gundham: ...

Komaeda ...

Imposter: It appears that Ishimaru has just gone Super Saiyan.

Kamakura: Okay, but WHY though?

[arkus-rhapsode]

Naegi: This magazine has ‘Toko’ written in blood inside it!

Aoi: Then that settles it! It was Toko!

Kyoko: I don’t think so…

Aoi: What? How?!

Kyoko: This doesn’t seem like something Fukawa would do.

Aoi: SHE HAS A SEPARATE PERSONALITY THAT’S A SERIAL KILLER!

Naegi: Oh yeah, she does.

Aoi: How did you forget that?!

Naegi: Well for an Ultimate Murderous Fiend, she really hasn’t killed anyone. And if we’re being honest here, I kinda like Jack more than Fukawa so I don’t really notice.

Kyoko: Same.

Aoi: …Okay, fair.

[arkus-rhapsode]

Remnants of Despair watch DR1 pt 8

Naegi: First Hifumi, now Taka’s dead too?! No!

*Remnants of Despair hideout*

Souda: Alright, it’s a two bodies this time! We putting money-

Komaeda: Don’t bother. It’s so obvious it wouldn’t even be a gamble.

Hiyoko: It’s so obviously Celestia it’s painful!

Sonia: She’s far more vocal an animated than she has been in the last cases.

Imposter: Celestia was also the only person to disclose her finances when the money was presented as a motive.

Teruteru: Celes has also been leading everyone around.

Mahiru: Screaming, taking Hina to the bathroom, taking a photo of the assailant.

Akane: And no one outside Sakura could actually move Hifumi without leaving a trail. So he was probably fakin being dead.

Gundham: And you saw how he served Celestia! He would be bendable to her will.

Peko: And if the assailant wanted to murder multiple individuals, why let Celes live out of all of them?

Ibuki: And if Robo Justice told her to grovel, then obviously Celes would’ve heard a voice of some kind and she’s not telling anyone that.

Mikan: For an Ultimate Gambler this is kinda... Obvious.

Fuyuhiko: Honestly, you’d have to be a real fuckin idiot to not immediately figure this one out.

Souda: ...

Souda: Y-yeah. You took the words right out of my mouth!