Art by @tsukihasnolife
Story by @scoobydoo-ghoulschool
Read it on AO3!
INT. WATSON’S ROOM
JOHN
Hello, Hello, Hello! It’s Doc Watson here to uh- or just John, John is fine too. Um, but I am here to share another spine chilling case with you lovely listeners. This was a dark one folks, so be cautious. Warnings for death, a couple of those, uh parental abuse, some light usage of the S word, and one inflammatory F bomb by yours truly. If none of that is enough to scare you off, well then, good luck and enjoy the adventure of the Speckled Band.
AUDIO CUT
INT. WATSON’S ROOM
Door opens with a bang.
SHERLOCK
Your presence is required in the living room.
John gasps awake. Sherlock removes John’s bed covers.
JOHN
Huh? What?
SHERLOCK
We have a client. In the living room. Ms. Hudson informed me at 6:45, I let you sleep an extra half hour but you really must be up now.
John yawns.
JOHN
It’s 7:15? And you’re awake?
SHERLOCK
(darkly)
Like I said, Ms. Hudson woke me.
JOHN
Alright, alright, uh- let me just get some trousers on.
Sherlock moves to leave.
JOHN (CONT.)
Hold on, is that my microphone?
SHERLOCK
I assumed you’d want it.
JOHN
(pleasantly surprised)
Well, uh, yes, thank you.
SHERLOCK
You’re welcome. Now come along, Ms. Hudson is bringing up tea.
Intro music plays
INT. 221B BAKER STREET - LIVING ROOM
John enters the living room, trousers successfully retrieved.
JOHN
Hello there. John Watson, nice to meet you.
HELEN
(quietly)
Helen Stoner.
John takes a seat.
JOHN
So you're a fan of the podcast?
HELEN
Sorry, what?
JOHN
Oh I just- the Sherlock & Co podcast. It’s my, well, part of our business. I assumed that’s how you found us.
HELEN
No, uh I found you on Reddit actually. r/Holmes. I read about a case with these missing opals, from the account FarintoshRed. I thought Mr. Holmes might be able to help me too.
SHERLOCK
I vaguely remember the name Farintosh, the opal tiara even more. Now Ms. Stoner what is it that brings you all the way from Surrey this early in the morning?
HELEN
I- Did someone tell you I was coming?
SHERLOCK
The return ticket is sticking out of your purse.
HELEN
(nervously)
Oh, right.
Mariana enters the room.
MARIANA
I have several cups of very caffeinated tea and a couple of day-old scones. They're only half rock hard.
JOHN
Ah, Mariana, you're an angel.
SHERLOCK
Yes, thank you. Although I’d prefer something a little stronger than caffeine…
JOHN
Not this early in the morning, please. I’d at least like to keep the substance abuse to an afternoon activity.
MARIANA
(to Helen)
You can just ignore them.
HELEN
Um, thanks.
SHERLOCK
So early train, and by the mud on your coat, a taxi before with an unexpected rain shower. A little dangerous to be out by yourself before the sun's up. I assume you took this trip without permission?
MARIANA
(whispered to Sherlock)
Sherlock, that's a little patronizing.
SHERLOCK
It would be if our client wasn’t a teenager.
JOHN
(also whispered to Sherlock)
Mate she’s got grey hair.
HELEN
No he’s right, I’m 17.
JOHN
Oh! I’m- God, sorry I just didn’t. Blimey.
HELEN
I get that sort of reaction a lot. The hair’s genetic or something. My sister had it too. But that’s sort of why I’ve come. Not because of my hair but um… My 18th birthday’s in a couple weeks and… I think maybe I might be dead before then.
MARIANA
(tentatively)
And… why do you think that?
HELEN
Because it happened to my sister, 2 years ago.
Pause.
HELEN (CONT.)
I live with my step father, Greg Roylott, uh in this old family estate of his, Stoke Moran. My mum married him when my sister and I were both two. And you know, everything was fine, we were a totally normal family, but when my mum died, when we were about eight, uh, well Greg got really depressed. We were all torn up about it, but he… he could get really, really angry. The last couple of years my sister and I had to get him out of a lot of bad situations. Julia- my sister, she had a really hard time with it. Kids at school could get pretty nasty about it all, and I mean everyone in our village talks. It was a lot, still is a lot. But she decided, two years ago, that she'd had enough. She snuck off one night to stay with one of my mum's old friends, Honoria Westphail, for a couple of weeks.
SHERLOCK
And you stayed?
HELEN
Greg is- he's the only father I've ever known. I thought you know- everyone deals with grief differently, if I just gave him enough time... He never touched me or Julia.
SHERLOCK
But Julia ran away.
HELEN
Yeah, and not just. Ms. Westphail was helping her file for emancipation. We were both 15, and she didn't even have a bank account yet, but she wanted to get as far away from Greg as possible. She needed the money from our mother's inheritance.
SHERLOCK
Which neither of you receive until your 18th birthday.
JOHN
Or you're legally declared independent.
HELEN
Right. But then Greg, he, well he reached out to Julia, said he wanted to make amends, that he'd been talking with people, trying to get better. I thought he was telling the truth, I mean at that point it had been weeks since he'd gotten into a fight in town, or come home drunk from the pub.
Helen pauses.
HELEN (CONT.)
(voice choked)
I convinced Julia to come back when he asked her over for dinner.
MARIANA
If you want to take a moment-
Helen sniffs.
HELEN
No it's- I can keep going. Dinner went fine, I mean Julia and Greg were never the closest, but you could tell he was trying. He didn't even bring up the whole emancipation dealings. We all went to bed around the same time, but Julia had come into my room complaining of a headache pretty soon after that. Greg likes smoking these Indian cigars before bed, and Julia and his rooms have connected ventilation, and she, uh, was always sensitive to smells like that. I didn’t mind the company, there was this awful storm going on outside, and in a house as old as ours, it gets kind of spooky.
JOHN
Old manor house on a dark and stormy night? I bet.
HELEN
Exactly. And um, Julie only stayed for a bit but- she asked me if I'd heard any whistling at night while she’d been gone. Like a tea kettle going off, I remember her describing it. It was such a weird question, and I know I hadn't heard anything like it before, but like I said the house is really old, and we don't have the money for many repairs. I just told her it had to be some drafty part of the house. I don’t think she actually ever believed me… and then uh, that's when she went back to her room. I watched her lock her door.
SHERLOCK
Did you both routinely lock your doors at night?
HELEN
Yeah, force of habit I guess. When we were younger we were always scared the Cheetah or Baboon would escape in the middle of the night.
Weighted Pause.
JOHN
Er- Cheetah and Baboon?
HELEN
Sorry, yeah, Greg's dad, back in the 80's was mad obsessed with India I guess? He lived there for a while, and he decided to like- make an attraction of the old Manor. There used to be a pretty massive menagerie of Indian wildlife attached to the house. Honestly it's why Greg had no money coming into the marriage with my mum. His dad spent it all. These days all that's left are the Cheetah and Baboon. Just one more reason for people to talk, you know?
MARIANA
I can imagine...
SHERLOCK
So the door was locked.
Helen takes a deep breath.
HELEN
I woke up to her screaming. It was- I've never heard anything like that scream. Then there it was, a whistle, like a tea kettle, and uh then this large metal clang, and it shocked me enough I was able to get myself out of bed.
SHERLOCK
The locked door-?
HELEN
She was able to open it herself. That’s how I found her, the door opened before I got to it. She was- her eyes were bulging, and I could- I could see the veins in her forehead. The storm had knocked out the power by then but she was holding her phone flashlight. I- I caught her there, in the hallway. She fell into my arms and I could tell she couldn’t breath, she couldn’t- but she managed to tell me “Helen! It was the band! The speckled band!” That’s how Greg found us, I don’t remember much after. I think he tried to do CPR, and I called 999… She was dead before they got there.
MARIANA
(very sincerely)
I am so sorry.
Helen continues as if she hasn’t heard.
HELEN
I was… shell shocked. Everyone was pointing fingers at our step-dad, and even then I couldn’t, I couldn’t really believe. The windows of her room are barred, the fireplace was bricked up, the door was locked. There’s nothing he could have done to her.
JOHN
The coroner couldn’t find anything? No foul play, no poison in her system?
HELEN
I know they did a thorough search, like I said everyone was sure Greg had something to do with it. There wasn’t anything. Eventually they marked it down as a “cerebral embolism”.
Helen gives a very sharp laugh
HELEN (CONT.)
She was 15!
Heavy pause. Helen collects herself.
SHERLOCK
This all happened two years ago, you’ve had time to doubt him, to look for help elsewhere- but something changed recently. Ms. Stoner, what happened?
HELEN
Last week, Greg said that- there was some work around my room that needed to be done. Structural stuff that needed to be fixed. He moved me into Julia’s bedroom and-
(Helen takes a shuddering breath)
I heard the whistle. Last night, Mr. Holmes, I heard the whistle again.
AUDIO CUT
Interlude music plays briefly.
INT. 221A BAKER STREET - MARIANA’S OFFICE
MARIANA
I’ll make sure she gets to the train station alright. I have a bad feeling about leaving her alone.
JOHN
Thank you, Mariana… God I can’t- doesn’t this feel a little wrong? That we’re her last line of defense I mean?
MARIANA
I suppose, it is frustrating that it’s taken all this for something to be done. But there’s no one I trust more than Sherlock to help her. She only has us, but at least it’s us.
JOHN
Right. No you’re right.
Pause.
MARIANA
I’ll see you in a bit.
JOHN
Be safe.
The front door to 221 Baker Street opens. The sounds of the street filter in. The door closes and it is quiet once more.
JOHN
(to the listeners)
So, we’ve taken the case. Obviously. There’s still a part of me that can’t quite believe it, but well- it was hard to say anything but yes.
John enters the flat.
INT. 221B BAKER STREET - LIVING ROOM
JOHN
I’ve got us train tickets leaving in an hour. You better start packing.
SHERLOCK
I’ve already finished. I’ve got noise canceling headphones, my pistol and my toothbrush.
JOHN
(john laughs)
Ah, planning on shooting your mouth off then?
SHERLOCK
(baffled)
What? No, of course not.
JOHN
No its- it’s a joke from M*A*S*H. Ya know- Frank took his gun and his toothbrush, there he goes shooting his mouth off again… I’m realizing, suddenly, this was one of my more obscure references so I am… going to stop.
SHERLOCK
Good.
Pause. John takes a deep breath in.
JOHN
You don't think we're being pranked do you? I mean, that was all- a little mad. I mean the Cheetah and Baboon detail? It sounds like something that would go viral on TikTok.
SHERLOCK
You’re only saying that because she’s 17. It was the truth, every detail of it, there's no doubt in my mind. Besides, the Indian menagerie in Surrey is about the easiest detail to corroborate, here look.
Sherlock hands over his phone.
JOHN
“They Bought a Zoo Before it was Cool: the sordid tale of Surrey’s oldest family and their lost fortune” Jeeze, okay. So not a TikTok prank then.
John sighs.
JOHN (CONT.)
Maybe I just don't want to imagine someone willing to kill a 15 year old girl. I mean… why?
SHERLOCK
Why else Watson? Money. In both instances, Julia’s emancipation, and Helen’s 18th birthday, he loses the money from their mother’s inheritance.
Pause.
JOHN
You don't think Helen was lying about Roylott not... not hitting them do you?
SHERLOCK
(carefully)
No, she was telling the truth there too, I assume that would leave too much evidence for the courts. There are other ways to keep someone under control...
JOHN
Well Roylott better hope we don't meet up with him anytime soon, I swear I see his face and it's one, two lights out.
SHERLOCK
You may be getting that wish sooner than later.
JOHN
What do you mean?
SHERLOCK
Greg Roylott is on our front stoop-
The downstairs door slams open. Muffled yelling. Heavy footsteps.
JOHN
Oh God, I forgot to lock it when Mariana left.
SHERLOCK
(harshly)
Get back from the door.
The heavy footsteps approach faster.
JOHN
Well this one is locked-
The door to 221B is thrown open with a crash.
JOHN
Shit!
DR. ROYLOTT
Where is she? Where the Hell is my daughter?!
JOHN
Sir you can't just barge in here-!
DR. ROYLOTT
Which one of you is Holmes?
SHERLOCK
That would be me, but I'm afraid you have the advantage, I don't know you.
DR. ROYLOTT
Dr. Gregory Roylott, as if you don't know you slippery bastard.
SHERLOCK
Of course Doctor, please have a seat. We were just finishing our morning tea.
DR. ROYLOTT
I'm not here for tea, my step-daughter's been here. I tracked her phone so don't try and lie Holmes. She was here not 4 minutes ago.
JOHN
Now hold on-
SHERLOCK
You know, it is a little cold for this time of the year.
JOHN
(under his breath)
What?
DR. ROYLOTT
What's she said to you?!
SHERLOCK
But I have heard we'll be getting an early spring, the crocuses are close to blooming. I have a feeling it's going to be quite lovely.
DR. ROYLOTT
Oh come off it, I know what you’re doing! I looked you up online, you're a couple of con artists looking to make a buck off my girl, huh? Put her on your bloody podcast right? She's 17, what are two men of your age doing letting her into your flat? I could have the police-
Sherlock laughs. It goes on longer than it should.
SHERLOCK
Your conversational skills are entertaining, when you leave, mind closing the door. Like I said, it is cold for this time of the year.
Pause. Dr. Roylott chuckles darkly.
DR. ROYLOTT
Alright, have it your way. But hear this, stay away from my girl, I'm a man of means, I wouldn't take my threats lightly gentleman.
Dr. Roylott turns to leave.
JOHN
(very sarcastically)
Great meeting you Mr. Roylott.
DR. ROYLOTT
It’s Dr. Roylott to you.
JOHN
Yeah well, it’s Dr. Watson to you, you pratt.
Dr. Roylott leaves. The door is slammed with tremendous force.
John lets out a very relieved sigh.
Sherlock laughs again.
SHERLOCK
Fine fellow, we’ll have to have him round again.
JOHN
(not paying attention)
I think he broke the door hinges!
SHERLOCK
I suppose it’s best it didn’t come to anything physical, but I’m fairly certain I could have taken him. He lagged slightly to the right.
JOHN
(still not paying attention)
He definitely broke the door.
SHERLOCK
Grab your stuff Watson, I think it’s time we were on our way as well.
JOHN
You know I’ll have to call Mariana about this.
AUDIO CUT
INT. LONDON WATERLOO TRAIN STATION
The noises of a busy train station. The intermingling of engines, voices, and footsteps.
JOHN
Yeah, I know- clear off the hinges. Forced the lock through the door frame-
(pause)
Alright. Thanks Mariana. Yep. Yeah. Talk soon, bye.
(to Sherlock)
The whole door’s gonna have to be replaced, can you believe that?
SHERLOCK
Yes, I think you’ve mentioned it once or twice now.
JOHN
Sorry, I’m just coming to the realization I live in a world where a man can literally break down my door in one go.
John sighs. A distant intercom plays.
JOHN (NARRATING)
I suppose now is as good a time as any for some shout outs. I’m still new to Tumblr but the community on there has been nothing but supportive, so I’ve some awesome people I’d like to mention from there. So special hello to @tsukihasnolife who I’ve already commissioned to do some incredible art for this episode. We’ve also got @eardefenders, @starfruitsomething and @littleoceanbabe who I hear are all working hard on a flash bang for other fans of Sherlock & Co. Not sure what a flash bang is, but I appreciate the publicity and support! And lets see maybe some people from Twitter or er X now-
SHERLOCK
Watson the train.
JOHN
Oh God, yeah. Uh, bye! Thanks again.
AUDIO CUT
INT. UBER
The car drives alone on the road, engine humming softly.
JOHN
We are back in Surrey listeners, you may remember the last time we were here was for the case of the Solitary Cyclist.
(to Sherlock)
You know maybe we should check in with Violet-
SHERLOCK
I sincerely doubt Ms. Carruthers would enjoy seeing us Waston. We were at least slightly culpable in her brother's outburst.
JOHN
(muttered)
I wasn't the one with the gun.
(John coughs)
But Uh- yeah, yeah that's probably for the best.
DRIVER
So where are you guys headed exactly?
SHERLOCK
(in his just-one-of-the-mates voice)
Stoke Moran, I've heard it's a real piece of work.
DRIVER
Yeah, the place should be demolished if you ask me, it’s a death trap.
SHERLOCK
Well that's why we're here, come to make a couple of estimates for the bloke who lives up there.
DRIVER
Fair warning mate, lots of contractors have been through there. The Doctor, Roylott, he doesn't have the money to pay.
SHERLOCK
Really? Big family estate like that with no money?
JOHN
Sherlock, look-
SHERLOCK
Sorry, would you mind stopping here?
DRIVER
We're still a mile out-
JOHN
We like the fresh air, thanks for the ride. Uh- five stars!
John and Sherlock exit the car. The car drives off.
EXT. THE GROUNDS OF STOKE MORAN
JOHN
That is Helen over there isn't it?
SHERLOCK
(in his normal voice)
Yes. Probably best we catch her here, I don't want to get too close to the house until we're sure the good Doctor is nowhere near.
(voice raised)
Ms. Stoner!
Sherlock and John walk to catch up with Helen. Helen approaches, slightly out of breath.
HELEN
Hi. I was hoping I’d catch your car on the way in.
SHERLOCK
We had a visit with your step-father this morning, just after you left.
HELEN
(taken off guard)
What but I- he’s barely ever up by 11, and no one would have told him-
SHERLOCK
You’re phone Ms. Stoner, I’m afraid he’s been tracking your phone. I would suggest checking your settings for the parental controls he installed without your knowledge.
HELEN
If he knows that I- that I came to you-
SHERLOCK
If he makes any motion to harm you Ms. Stoner we will personally escort you to Ms. Westphail’s house tonight. But I doubt with the way things are turning out he will try anything that obvious.
JOHN
Like busting down a door.
HELEN
What?!
Sherlock clears his throat pointedly.
SHERLOCK
We’re getting ourselves a room at the village Inn, we have no intention of leaving you alone. Now Ms. Stoner is it possible we could enter the house undetected? I would very much like to see your sister and Dr. Roylott’s rooms.
HELEN
Yeah, yeah I can manage that. He had work in London today, I thought- anyway he won’t be back till this evening.
SHERLOCK
Lead the way Ms. Stoner
AUDIO CUT
EXT. STOKE MORAN
JOHN
(out of breath)
We are just now approaching the manor. It's uh- it really is something to see. Which since you can't see listeners, you'll have to take my word for it. Stoke Moran is uh grey, and big. Uh- I can do better than that, hold on. It's... lichen-blotched stone, with a high central portion and two curving wings, like the... claws of a crab. Sort of. Like if a crab had its pincers raised, you know? The left crab claw has broken windows blocked with wooden boards, and the roof is partly caved in, a uh picture of ruin. The middle bit- the body I guess? It’s in okay shape, it’s got some large observation windows near the ground floor. The right-claw looks to be the only section of the house that's still livable. Pretty modern, at least it's got blinds in the windows, and appears to be standing on its own.
HELEN
What’s he doing?
SHERLOCK
Narrating. He does it when he’s nervous.
JOHN
I do it because a podcast is an auditory experience. Can’t exactly wave a camera around to show them- hold on, what’s this over here?
HELEN
Oh I wouldn’t-
An animal screeches, a mammal howl, and it slams itself into its glass walled enclosure.
John screams.
The microphone falls. Helen and Sherlock break out into surprised laughter.
HELEN
(through laughter)
That's the menagerie. Sorry.
The Baboon calls out softly through the glass. There's rustling as John quickly retrieves the microphone.
Sherlock and Helen continue to laugh.
JOHN
Seriously, how is this even legal?
AUDIO CUT
INT. STOKE MORAN MANOR - JULIA'S ROOM
A door creaks open slowly. Helen, Sherlock and John enter the room, footsteps echoing loudly.
HELEN
So this is- this is Julia’s room. Mine’s just next door to the right, and then to the left is Greg’s room.
SHERLOCK
And this is where you’re currently staying because of the restoration work?
HELEN
Yes.
Sherlock walks around the room.
SHERLOCK
These bed drapes- were they Julia’s?
HELEN
Uh- no. No they weren’t really her taste. I think Greg had them put up when she was living with Ms. Westphail.
JOHN
(darkly)
He seems to have a habit of making living decisions for you.
Sherlock steps up onto the bed, bed springs squeal.
JOHN (CONT.)
(pained)
Sherlock, your shoes on the bed-
SHERLOCK
(ignoring John)
This ventilator, right above the bed, does it work?
HELEN
Oh that, no, at least not since I’ve moved in. It’s completely freezing here at night.
SHERLOCK
Interesting for such a recent refurbishment. Do you remember when this was installed?
HELEN
Uh- it- it actually may have been around the same time as Greg hung the bed drapes. When Julia was gone.
Sherlock jumps down from the bed.
SHERLOCK
I think I’ve seen enough here. Would you mind leading us to your step-father’s room?
HELEN
Sure, like I said, It’s right next door.
Helen, Sherlock and John leave the room.
INT. STOKE MORAN MANOR - DR. ROYLOTT’S ROOM
The door to Roylott’s room opens.
John gives a low whistle.
JOHN
Well. This is- something.
HELEN
Yeah, it’s a lot. Mostly stuff he inherited from his dad.
JOHN
For our listeners, the Doctor has, well lots of… collectables lets say, I am presuming from India. Almost every wall and shelf is covered in Hindu icon paintings and sculptures.
SHERLOCK
Murtis, not icons. They’re meant to be used in homes and temples for worship. Not... as collectables.
JOHN
Yeah, so- it’s extremely distasteful. Not like I needed another reason to dislike this guy. Besides all of the uh- memorabilia in the Doctor’s room, there’s this massive safe- and uh, a bowl of milk is set on top. Helen, do you happen to have a cat around here?
HELEN
(pause)
No. I’m allergic.
JOHN
Could be for the Cheetah, maybe?
SHERLOCK
Perhaps… Helen, is it your step father that deals with the animals?
HELEN
Er, not really. He feeds em, but he stays out of their enclosures. Honestly he doesn’t pay much attention to them these days. He’s got a vet who comes to see them every couple months or so- but she comes by with her own equipment.
Sherlock moves further into the room.
SHERLOCK
Have you ever seen him use this?
HELEN
No. What is that?
SHERLOCK
It’s a catch pole. Normally these are used by professionals in animal control.
HELEN
Right- well maybe the vet left it behind last time she was here?
Pause.
SHERLOCK
Possibly… Well Ms. Stoner, I have seen what I’ve needed.
HELEN
Well, do you know how it happened? How he did it?
SHERLOCK
I can’t answer that quite yet. But we will be back tonight. Your old room, you can still comfortably sleep there at the moment?
HELEN
(guardedly)
I could…
SHERLOCK
Good. Tonight, when your step-father falls asleep, shine a light through your bedroom window, and then leave to sleep there. Watson and I will be spending the night in your place. We will see for ourselves what plans he had for you.
AUDIO CUT
Musical interlude.
INT. SURREY INN - JOHN AND SHERLOCK’S ROOM
The room is quiet. John taps absentmindedly at the microphone. It is super annoying.
SHERLOCK
You have a question?
JOHN
No. Nope, just… thinking.
SHERLOCK
(begrudgingly)
I’m not certain what it is.
JOHN
But you have a pretty good idea.
SHERLOCK
I’ve been wrong before.
JOHN
(skeptical)
Rarely. If ever.
SHERLOCK
You have theories I’m sure.
JOHN
Not- not really. The new heating vent that doesn't work… that’s unusual, and purposeful. I thought maybe a nerve gas agent-
Sherlock makes a quiet noise of dissent.
JOHN
But- I know that makes no sense, so I’ve got nothing. And then there's the whole issue of the speckled band... a clothing item, a poison...
SHERLOCK
You’re picking up on the important details.
JOHN
So are you going to share with the class what's actually going on?
SHERLOCK
We’ll see tonight. Or we won’t.
JOHN
(joking)
I see how it is, plausible deniability. Can’t be wrong if you don’t say it out loud.
SHERLOCK
John.
JOHN
Yes?
SHERLOCK
I think you should get some sleep before tonight.
JOHN
Right, yeah.
(pause)
You’re not wrong though, whatever you're thinking, I know you’re not wrong.
Pause.
JOHN (CONT.)
Goodnight.
Pause. John settles into bed.
SHERLOCK
Thank you.
AUDIO CUT
Musical interlude
SHERLOCK
Watson. Wake up, Ms. Stoner has given us the signal.
John shifts in bed. He yawns.
JOHN
I really hope this isn’t a habit you're developing. Waking me up in the early hours of the morning I mean.
SHERLOCK
Come along, Watson, no time to dawdle.
JOHN
Dawdle. Funny word, dawdle. Dawdle. dawdle... and now it just sounds fake.
(pause)
Hang on… where did you get a cane?
AUDIO CUT
EXT. STOKE MORAN
JOHN
(out of breath)
We are back on the grounds of Stoke Moran, making our way up to the house. And- I am really wishing we could pick cases that didn’t require so much walking in the dark.
SHERLOCK
We’re close to the door Helen said she’d leave open for us. Keep quiet, and keep your flashlight down.
JOHN
Yep. Yep got it. Uh- aren’t we also close by to the-
Something thumps against the glass wall. Sherlock yelps.
The Baboon gives a howling laugh, tearing away from the window.
Sherlock takes in several gasping breaths. John snickers.
JOHN
See? Not so funny when it’s you, the Baboon jumps.
SHERLOCK
No. Comment.
John laughs quietly. He moves forward.
JOHN
The doors over here by the way.
AUDIO CUT
INT. STOKE MORAN MANOR - JULIA’S ROOM
JOHN
So we took a back entrance that Helen showed us early today. We have safely made it into Julia’s old room. So… now we just wait and listen for a whistle I guess.
SHERLOCK
I’ll take the bed, under the vent. For your safety, the rocking chair in the corner is best.
JOHN
You just don’t want me to accidentally fall asleep on a stake out again.
SHERLOCK
(whispered)
It is imperative we stay as quiet as possible now.
JOHN
(whispered back)
Of course.
SHERLOCK
Which means we’ll be sitting in silence for a good portion of the night.
JOHN
Yeah mate, I know how quiet works.
SHERLOCK
I thought a warning might be nice.
JOHN
Well, thanks, I appreciate that.
(to himself and the microphone)
Of all the things he chooses to warn me about and- oh Christ, the listeners, right-
AUDIO CUT
JOHN
(whispered)
It is… currently four in the morning. We haven’t heard a peep. I don’t know if we scared Roylott off today, or threw him off his game, but I don’t know if it’s happening tonight.
SHERLOCK
Watson.
JOHN
What? Did you hear something?
SHERLOCK
No.
JOHN
Alright. Yeah, quiet. I can do quiet.
SHERLOCK
Watson...
JOHN
Sorry yeah-
SHERLOCK
No, listen!
A high pitched whistle blows softly from above.
SHERLOCK
Stay back.
JOHN
Hold on, let me get my camera light on, I can’t see.
SHERLOCK
No, John the vent is opening!
A large CLANG as Sherlock’s cane hits the vent. A hiss, something slithers back through the vent away from them.
Dr. Roylott SCREAMS from the other room.
JOHN
(panicked)
What on Earth was that?
SHERLOCK
We’ll need the light Watson, hurry.
INT. STOKE MORAN - DR. ROYLOTT’S ROOM
Rushed footsteps. A door bursts open.
Roylott moans.
JOHN
Fuck! Is that-?
DR. ROYLOTT
(strained and slightly slurred)
Get it off me!
JOHN
A snake, the speckled band was a snake?!
SHERLOCK
Hand me the catch pole. By his leg, there!
JOHN
Right-
John moves, he grabs the catch pole. Sherlock takes the pole. The snake hisses, Roylott blubbers in panic and pain.
SHERLOCK
The safe, open the door to the safe!
JOHN
The- oh! There’s a whole terrarium in there.
The snake hisses again. Louder.
SHERLOCK
Watson!
JOHN
Got it!
The safe is forced open more. Sherlock places the angered snake inside. John closes the safe with a loud METALLIC CLANG.
John gives a sigh of relief. Roylott moans again, and then tumbles to the floor.
DR. ROYLOTT
(gasping)
It’s- Swamp Adder- the venom- it bit me.
JOHN
Oh God, right, okay, just, hold on- Dr. Roylott, I need you to stay calm.
(to Sherlock)
Call emergency services! He’s going into anaphylactic shock, I can’t-
SHERLOCK
(seriously)
They won’t have the anti-venom.
JOHN
Just call! I don’t- Maybe I can do another tracheotomy, there’s got to be a pen around here, maybe a letter opener.
John stands. He looks frantically for tools to help.
SHERLOCK
John-
JOHN
I’m thinking!
SHERLOCK
John!
JOHN
What?!
SHERLOCK
He’s dead.
JOHN
But he-
(pause)
His pulse stopped.
SHERLOCK
I’ll call now.
JOHN
Um- yeah. Okay.
(pause)
I’ll- I’ll go get Helen. I’ll see if we can get a hold of Ms. Westphail.
Tense pause.
SHERLOCK
He did it to himself, John. He did this to Julia, and he was going to do it to Helen.
JOHN
(strained)
You’re right, yeah.
(John sniffs)
I’ll go get Helen.
John leaves, the door closes softly behind him.
AUDIO CUT
Musical interlude.
INT. JOHN’S ROOM
JOHN
Well folks, that is the end of the case. Say au revoir to the speckled band, which is now, along with the Cheetah and Baboon being safely handled by some animal conservationist group. Apparently cheetahs are a very endangered species so, Roylott was definitely keeping that illegally. Um, as for Helen, she is now happily settled with her aunt. Obviously, this was a bit of a shock for her but… she’s, she’s in a better place now thank God. And Roylott, well you all know how he ended up. I don’t uh- I don't have much else to say other than that. The Swamp Adder venom really-
The door to the bedroom opens. Sherlock walks in.
SHERLOCK
Oh, you’re not done yet.
JOHN
Nope, just doing the wrap up.
SHERLOCK
Do you mind?
JOHN
No, come on in. I was just talking about the Swamp Adder.
Pause.
SHERLOCK
You know... there’s no such thing.
JOHN
What?
SHERLOCK
He misidentified the snake, there’s no such thing as a Swamp Adder.
JOHN
But we saw it-
SHERLOCK
We saw an Indian Saw-Scaled viper, Echis Carinatus if you want to be technical, and while extremely venomous, it is by no means the most venomous snake in India. That would be the Common Krait.
JOHN
You know all that, but you couldn’t name one Madonna song last week at the pub?
SHERLOCK
Well the next time Madonna gains the ability to inject 12 milligrams of venom into her victims in one bite, then I’ll try my best to remember her discography.
JOHN
Right okay, well you heard it here folks, world class detective, violinist, podcast co-host, Sherlock Holmes, can also add snake expert to his list of accomplishments.
SHERLOCK
Herpetologist.
JOHN
What?
SHERLOCK
An expert in reptiles and amphibians, a Herpetologist.
JOHN
Okay that- that can’t be real.
AUDIO CUTS. OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS.
END OF PART ONE OF ONE
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