#romans not going to lose to kevin fuckin owens. not with a title on the line. surely not.

[cha0tician]

i need it to be rumble day. i miss cody. i know im going to see cody. i know it. i know he'll be there. and on wrestlemania day. he will take the championship from roman. and then ill be allowed to be a bloodline stan. and there will be peace and harmony in my house. and joy. joy unmatched.

[hazyheel]

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 10/4/19 Review

The season premier of Friday Night Smackdown basically ended up being a normal smackdown that just had a bunch of spectacle around it. Although we had the Rock, who had a good segment, all the other people who came to the event weren’t involved. But we have some interesting setups for some future matches, whether that is in the immediate future or Wrestlemania, along with a couple upsides, so there were some things that ended up promising. Here is my full review of this week’s Friday Night Smackdown.

The set for this show is actually awesome. I love the little tube thing that they have on the entrance ramp, it looks badass. Waaaaaaaaaay better than the Raw set, let me tell you. Stephanie and Vince McMahon came out first. They popped the crowd with a quick “Welcome to fox” type thing, before throwing it to the new theme song. This was all kind of a pre-show thing, so I’m not gonna grade it. And possibly the most exciting thing: A TWO MAN ANNOUNCE BOOTH. Corey Graves and Michael Cole were holding it down, and I’m so excited to see how well they do without a third wheel. 

Becky Lynch Promo: She thanked everyone at smackdown for boosting her up to title level. King Corbin interrupted and walked down to the ring. He told Lynch that she wasn’t the Man anymore, to which she said “step in the ring and we’ll find out.” He did, and I was excited to see Corbin get his comeuppance for attacking her at Extreme Rules, but The fuckin Rock came out instead, which is also good. He and Lynch slapped up in the ring as he posed in the corners, and even without talking, he exudes charisma. It is crazy. Rock talked about how he was the guy who invented the word smackdown. He put the show over a bit, before calling Corbin a Broke Ass Burger King on Crack. Then he hit his catchphrase, saying that he is back home. He was gonna keep going, but Corbin cut him off. Corbin said that Smackdown isn’t his home, and he isn’t the great one anymore. Corbin told him to shut up, so Rock told him that he wasn’t a King, and called him a 35 yer old version who hangs out at Comicon. He said that winning King of the Ring doesn’t make him a King, and just because Becky is the man doesn’t mean she is gonna carry a pair of testicles. Lynch said “yeah, but if I did, they’d be bigger than his.” Corbin kept heeling on LA, before Lynch hit the whole “it doesn’t matter what you think.” Rock then put him over a bit, before calling him a Super Tough Dude (STD), and the crowd chanted it, which Lynch said would stick with him for life (which it won’t but that was clever). Rock then told him that he was getting mad, and told him that Lynch and Rock would kick his ass. The two of them beat him down, and Rock hit the People’s Elbow, followed by a Rock Bottom. 

Grade: B. I liked this promo, and of course I loved the Rock. It was perfectly fun, and Lynch actually carried herself really well in this segment. She wasn’t groveling for the Rock at all, she was on equal footing with him, which was good. I don’t like when today’s stars stand shoulder to shoulder with attitude era guys and act like excited little kids. Becky is a star, and she caries herself like one. So yeah, really fun. Sucks that Corbin got the crap kicked out of him though, that kinda hurts him. Highlight of the night. 

Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks & Bayley: Bayley and Charlotte started things out, with Bayley giving Lynch a cheap shot on the apron, before Charlotte put her down with some strikes. Bayley quickly took control back, and tagged in Banks, only for Charlotte to nail several chops to the chest, and a big boot off the apron. Charlotte went to the top, and Bayley tried to push her off, but Lynch intercepted with a forearm. The ref yelled at Lynch for it, so Bayley was able to push Charlotte off anyway. We cut to commercial, and as we came back, Charlotte was able to give Lynch the hot tag. Lynch took down Bayley with a series of strikes and a huge superman forearm. Bayley was able to fight back by hanging her up on the top rope, but Charlotte got the blind tag. She kneed Bayley in the stomach to take her down, and hit Natural Selection, but Banks broke it up. Everyone then started to brawl in the ring, with the faces coming out on top and throwing both heels to the outside. Charlotte nailed them with a moonsault to the outside, and then threw Bayley back in the ring for the tapout win with the figure 8. 

Grade: B. These four together always make for a really good match. This was short, but it did what it had to do. It teased the violent Hell in a Cell match, while setting up a Smackdown Women’s Championship match as well. Good stuff, and a fitting first ever smackdown match. 

New Day Interview: Erin Anderson interviewed them, and I wasn’t going to emphasize her at all, but holy crap she is way better than most of WWE’s interviewers. She actually had a personality, so that was refreshing. Kofi Kingston said that he will win despite being the underdog, and Big E and Xavier Woods confirmed that they wouldn’t be in Kingston’s corner in the main event. Hopefully we will get more Renee Young backstage, with a similar amount of personality. 

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura: Before the match, Bray Wyatt came on the screen, and introduced his puppets. Ramblin Rabbit told Rollins not to fight the Fiend, but Wyatt interrupted him. They then showed Mercy the Buzzard killing Ramblin Rabbit in a Hell in a Cell representation. He told Rollins that was what will happen to him in their match on Sunday, before leaving. Nakamura came out with Sami Zayn. The match started, and Nakamura immediately tried for an armbar. Rollins powered him up and nailed a buckle bomb, followed by a pair of suicide dives. The two then fought back into the ring, where Rollins nailed a springboard knee, and then a superkick to the face. He had Nakamura set up for the Curb stomp, but the lights went out. Rollins booked it to the top of the stage, where the Fiend was able to lock in the mandible claw once again, before throwing him off the stage. 

Grade: C+. The match was going pretty well, and the attack was cliche at this point although somehow managed to be fresh with a bit of fight from Rollins. But this was just good enough in my opinion. 

Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon in a Career vs. Career Ladder Match: As the announcer was giving Shane his huge introduction, Owens attacked, and the match was off. Owens took Shane down by smacking him into a ladder bridge, and tried to get up the ladder. Shane pulled him off and hit a side Russian leg sweep. The two brawled beside the ladder, until Owens took it down and threw it at Shane, who ducked. Shane took control after nailing Owens in the back with the ladder, and then set Owens up on the table. He smacked Owens in the head with part of the announce table, before putting him through it with an elbow drop. We cut to commercial, and when we came back, Owens put Shane through a ladder bridge with a huge frog splash. Owens started to climb up, but Shane got back up and started to attack him with a chair. He beat the hell out of Owens with it for a bit, before putting him down in the corner and then setting up a Coast to Coast with the ladder. He was able to nail it, and Owens rolled out of the ring. Shane then started to climb the ladder slowly, but Owens grabbed his foot, and pulled him down for a powerbomb into a ladder that was set up in the corner. Owens then grabbed the briefcase and got the win. 

After the match, Owens told Shane that he was fired, and gave him a stunner. 

Grade: B-. This match was fine, it had a few big spots. This was just good enough to be in the positive, and the right guy won. Good stuff. That splash through the ladder looked brutal though. 

Paul Heyman interview: He just yelled a little bit about how Kingston was gonna lose to Lesnar. 

Heavy Machinery, Braun Strowman and The Miz vs. AJ Styles, Randy Orton, Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode: Miz and Ziggler started out, and Ziggler nailed a Zig Zag almost right away, but Miz countered back with a DDT. Strowman then tagged in, and took out Ziggler a couple times with huge tackles, only for Roode to break up the pin. Everyone hit a finisher real quick, and landed on the outside. Stromwan then ran around the ring to give everyone a shoulder tackle. Strowman then started to yelled at Tyson fury in the front row, and they playfully jaw jacked a bit, until he threw Ziggler into him on the barricade. Fury then started to scream at him, allowing Ziggler to nail a superkick. That only made Strowman more mad, and he gave Ziggler a Running Powerslam for the win. 

After the match, Fury tried to ump the barricade, but a bunch of security ran out to stop him. Eventually, after swearing a lot, he backed down.

Grade: C-. I’m bumping this down for celebrity involvement. The match was just kinda boring and simple, but the real story of this match is Fury and Strowman. I smell a Wrestlemania match, unless they wanna blow their load early. 

Roman Reigns vs. Erick Rowan in a Lumberjack Match: Daniel Bryan was on commentary, and Luke Harper wasn’t at ringside at all. They all both put each other on the outside early on, but when Rowan was on the outside, he fought off the lumberjacks, and even caught Reigns as he came in with a flying splash and threw him into the barricade. When we came back from commercial, they fought each other a bit with their signature offense. As they were fighting, Luke Harper started to walk down. Bryan met him in the ramp and they brawled, and the lumberjacks tried to gain control, only for Reigns to take everyone out with his splash into the crowd. Rowan then powerbombed Ali into Reigns, before bringing him into the ring with a running splash. He was about to hit the iron claw, but Reigns countered and hit a superman punch. Harper then ran in to save Rowan, only for Bryan to nail a Running Knee. Rowan then went to give Bryan the iron Claw, but Reigns nailed a spear for the win. 

After the match, Reigns and Bryan shook hands. 

Grade: C. I don’t really like lumberjack matches, but we need these types of Lumberjack matches in order to have a good one once in a blue moon. The closing stretch was pretty fun, with Harper and Rowan getting involved. Although this match did get me excited for the tag match on Sunday, so it did what it had to. Not a great match though. 

Kofi Kingston vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship: Kofi actually came out last, which was good, because I didn’t expect him to. Kofi tried to jump at Lesnar, only for him to catch him on his shoulders and it one F5 for the win. 

After the match, Rey Mysterio and CAIN FUCKING VELASQUEZ came down to the ring. And took him down, and started to hammer him with shots. Lesnar quickly retreated, and contemplated fighting Velasquez for a bit, before ultimately walking away with fear in his eyes. 

Grade: C. So, at first I was pissed about the match going so quick, but honestly, it was kinda effective. I think that, if they were gonna just give Lesnar the WWE Championship, they should’ve had him cash in on Kingston to win it here. Disappointing, and a real missed opportunity, but the squash was a good way to get heat on Lesnar. That being said, that was a very unexpected debut, and I definitely popped for it. That is a big get, even if he is just freelancing for them. Quite the way to close the first Friday Night Smackdown. 

Overall Grade: C+

Pros: The Rock and The Man promo; Lynch & Flair vs. Bayley and Banks

Cons: 8-man tag; lumberjack match; main event

[tyedyebaby]

my opinion on the 4/23 smackdown

meant to do this a lot earlier but yknow. Stupidity is Rampant where I am involved. also btw I watched the episode but I have a bad memory so I'm getting most of my info from an article im linking at the end

anyway!!

the beginning

if I remember correctly, cesaro was about to cut a promo but then seth interrupted him and cut a promo and they argue just a little and then jey interrupted both of them and cut a maybe promo and seth and jey team up and start circling cesaro and it looked badass and then daniel bryan interrupted him and cut a promo (basically owning seth and jey) and then ROMAN interrupted everyone and started bitching and then roman left and commercial break and boom tag match. after a match that lasts through two commercial breaks and 45 minutes with seth up and fucking leaving ¾ of the way through, daniel and cesaro win.

I love and hate this because a) it's the closest seth and roman have come to interacting in a damn while [to my knowledge anyway] and hey, daniel hyping cesaro is fucking great, and jey. jey!, b) it felt strange to have roman address everyone but seth because he literally verbally addressed everyone but seth. yeah seth was dealt a rain check but still I want WORDS man. CONVERSATION. it also strikes me as strange that seth left jey to the mercy of the face team because "I don't have time for this, I'm seth freakin' rollins" and he's AWOL for the rest of the show. dubious.

then theres a backstage segment with adam pearce, sonya deville, and apollo crews in which apollo complains about having to defend his title tonight (that's how wrestling works, genius). adam eventually reveals that apollos opponent is kevin owens, which, HUH?!? what happened to beating sense into sami?? tho maybe he's planning to get a title to prove a point to sami or something. it felt weirdly sudden to me either way.

then jey shows up, blah blah you disrespected the tribal chief blah blah and then he says he feels sick and smth about getting put down. typical guard dog jey imo, nothing incredibly notable.

then your regularly scheduled Women's Match That Feels Like It Was Thrown In Arbitrarily featuring nia jax and tamina. reginald, shayna, and natalya were also there, because why wouldn't they be. shayna interferes and it's not seen by the ref, but tamina wins regardless, so all is well I guess? idk I just wish there was more depth in the women's division and less tag action and a LOT less reginald.

KO shows up, talks about how it's his first IC title match in years, how he was delighted, how he wasnt expecting this but isn't complaining, how he's gonna knock apollo down, and then big e shows up because he's cool like that! then big es like "hahaha ur cool n shit but this is my match" and kevin goes "yeah this is ur match but not this week because this week is my match and I'll be champ" and they go "hahahahahaha" yknow the white girl fake laugh

it was funny to me but I didn't expect kevin still.

daniel bryan then tells adam pearce to make the match between roman and cesaro and when adam says he'll try dbry tells him to do more than try. persistent.

then comes the ic title match! sami joins commentary midway through the match and watches apollo retain after quite a bit via Surprise Rollup My Beloved (/s), kevin hit the stunner after losing, and the huge azeez guy fuckin' nail kevin in the face. then, sami gets up and dances over kevin which is the funniest damn thing

anyway I love kevin and hate apollo but I'm glad things ended how they did because this really is big es match.

then this segment, which I can only describe with this screenshot of the article I'm using to refresh my memory

just paul heyman rambling. typical.

then apollo shows up, talks, gets attacked by big e, and then gets checked up on by azeez.

then, we see aleister black (good to know you're alive, buddy!) and hes surrounded by candles, wearing glasses with a book in his hands. he tells a story from his childhood that involves dragons and then cuts a promo that digs at the viewers. I think aleisters character is interesting but I was also on video call with my partner so I didn't catch all of it BDIXNAODBSKS

then we see dolph ziggler and robbery noodle, and they cut a promo on how rey mysterio is epic but his son has "big gucci shoes" to fill. then we get the street profits, who are interrupted by BAYLEY MY BELOVED. she cuts a promo on how she's gonna kick biancas selfish spoiled ass basically BUT THE FUNNY PART is that montez was on the phone tattle tailing on bayley TO BIANCA. bianca shows up and a match between bianca and bayley is made for backla- scuse me, wrestlemania backlash. seeing bianca and bayley in the same frame made my heart happy regardless of context.

the mysterios take on the alpha academy, have some close calls, and then rey wins with the 619 as he does. smooth. there was nothing overly remarkable about it. it was just...a good match. wrestling.

then Good Ole Tony (cesaro) comes out with dbry. they taunt (?) roman, who comes out and challenges daniel for his own title, blatantly ignoring cesaro. BUT if daniel loses he has to leave smackdown. cesaro urges daniel to accept, and daniel does, loudly.

overall:

I think it was okay! I've always preferred smackdown to raw but there were things I couldn't make sense of, like kevin owens's seemingly sudden addition to the IC title scene and the women's tag matches in general. I was also miffed that seth just kinda...disappeared...in the middle of his match...and didn't show up...for the rest of the show. could just be me.

thank you for coming to my TEDtalk

[nevycore]

Nevy’s Wrestlemania 33 Picks

just documenting them here for funsies

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. All The Other Girls

Naomi has to win this. Hometown glory, hot off coming back from an injury that took the title away from her? Naomi’s gonna win. The bigger question for me is what can happen in this match to lead into new feuds in the new Wrestle Year. I’m hoping Carmella gets a push. I’d even be fine with Ellsworth sticking around if he becomes a straight-up tool for Carmella to use and help her be the best heel she can be.

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries

fuck why is this in the pre-show. This is one of the matches where I feel like I have no idea where it’s gonna go. Neville could hold onto the gold cause he’s a great champion and a great heel and I could stand pretty much every cruiserweight feuding with him before he drops that belt. However, when he does drop it, he should drop it to Austin Aries, whether it’s now or later. For now, I’m pitching that Austin’s gonna walk away with it but Neville won’t be out of the title picture for a Long Time.

The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

it should probably be Braun Strowman, who’s built up enough credibility he really should have more of a presence at Wrestlemania than just this pre-show match. But it should be him, OR, against great odds, Sami Zayn. I want it to come down to those two and Sami makes a big surprise and comes out on top. If they wanna make this matter, they should use it to throw the dog a bone and start pushing Sami Zayn.

Gallows/Anderson (c) vs. Enzo/Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Enzo and Cass. They are Wonderful to watch, Every, Single, Time. Great performers, one of the best parts of RAW and they deserve some recognition. Nothing is interesting in the Tag Team scene right now besides them, much as I personally like Sheamus and Cesaro.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin

i want Dean Ambrose to win because I really just do not give a single fuck about Baron Corbin. they should do more with the IC Title and make it feel important and if they gotta toss it to Corbin to start making it matter again fine but either way. It sucks that they built up this whole feud and then at the end just, remembered “oh right Dean’s the IC champ we should make it about that” as an afterthought.

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

god i did not expect to care about this match for a second, but God Damn can Cena and the Miz sell a feud. Honestly in terms of how Real and Personal a match feels leading into this, this one’s second only to Owens vs. Jericho. I want The Miz and Maryse to walk away the victors on this one, since Cena’s going away for awhile, from what i hear, Nikki might not wrestle much more either, this match should elevate the talent that’s sticking around. Especially after the verbal decapitation Cena gave to the Miz last Smackdown? He needs to re-establish some credibility if he’s gonna be a threat to anyone ever again. John and Nikki can do the proposal thing after though and it can be a feel good moment.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens

I WANT JERICHO TO WIN SO BADLY. I HATE OWENS. HOW COULD HE?? UGH, this was such a masterfully pulled out betrayal in a show where betrayal is pretty much inevitable in almost any friendship ever. I can barely appreciate Owens for the Great Fuckin Heel he is considering how much I want to see him suffer for what he did to Jericho. God. Damn. BECAUSE OF THAT THOUGH, because their feud is relatively new and so emotionally and Hot, i don’t think we’re gonna get our happy ending Just Yet, and i think Kevin Owens walks away the champ.

Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

i’ve seen some people suggest that Sasha’s gonna turn heel and win the title here and i def agree she’s getting set up for a big feud with Bayley i don’t think it’ll happen here. with Naomi’s probable win in the pre-show (ugh), Owens and Lesnar seemin likely to walk away champs, and the Main Event with Randy and Bray not having a Face at all, i think Wrestlemania needs a huge feel good blow out Good Guys Win moment and i think it’s Bayley winning this match clean.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

it is impossible for AJ Styles to lose this. but i’m interested to see what they’re gonna do to make this match Somethin Special.

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

I’M HYPE. THE BUILD UP. SETH’S REDEMPTION. TRIPLE H VErBALLY MURDERING MICK FOLEY, UNF, GOOD SHIT. I can’t imagine Seth Rollins won’t walk out the victor and I’m gonna love seeing it happen. If there’s interference to be had, and I think there will, I’d love to see a Wrestlemania blow out where Triples enemies like Jericho, Foley and/or Zayn coming out to even the odds against Samoa Joe and maybe Kevin Owens getting involved, but any of that should be done carefully so as not to take away from Seth’s victory over Triple H!!

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

y’know Undertaker’s been my favorite since i was 10 and it hurts me to say but i want Roman Reigns to win this one so long as it isn’t clean. Undertaker sure doesn’t seem like he’s gonna be making many more Classics at Wrestlemania and could use a retirement, and if they ride the Hatred of Roman and turn him into some sort of Badass Super Heel, it’ll be worth it. If they don’t, and continue to force him face, thennn it’ll be awful and i’ll hate it.

Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

i hope they tear it up and make it good and Brock Lesnar finally gets his win over Goldberg after 13 years. then he needs to drop the belt to someone who’s around more often, possibly a new-to-Raw AJ Styles~~

Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

honestly my only complaint going into Wrestlemania is that the championships feel like such an afterthought? Jericho/Owens, Ambrose/Corbin, Goldberg/Lesnar, and this one as well, the top four belts in the main roster feel like second thoughts in the face of the feuds their being traded on and that’s a little lame.

but i’m pumped for this match! especially because Bray Wyatt! he looks like he’s going fucking Nutters and only getting more powerful from it and i want him to Terrify us by sending Randy Orton packing. Title reigns need to be longer so the champs feel more powerful and the title means More, and Bray deserves to be Champ! and he makes a damn good one! Randy does not need another championship, or at least shouldn’t take someone’s first from them so soon from someone so deserving.