#ryan lucan imagines

[ruewrote]

𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑦.

PAIRING: ryan lucan x fem!reader WARNINGS: strong language and a lot of crushing GENRE: fluff SONG INSPIRATION: kiss the girl from the little mermaid WORD COUNT: 500+

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saying you liked ryan was the understatement of the year.

you had a crush on this man as soon as you got to Colorado.

when you first met him, it felt like a breath of fresh air.

this man one hundred percent gives off golden retriever vibes.

it doesn’t help squash your feelings on how good of a person he is!

him helping out steph with the record store when she’s stressing,

helping old ladies cross the road.

he’s a park ranger for god sakes.

you can’t lie and say that he wasn’t the cause of you running purposefully near the park every other day because he was. you never even thought to pick up a pair of running shoes until you found that out.

yeah, you might not ever be able to have him, but you could at least admire him. he’s just so pretty to look at.

 you decided to leave a little flower at the bench he’d rest at half way through his shift. it was worth the smile it put on his face, jogging away when he had received it.

more recently you wrote little affirmations on a piece of paper tucked away with the flower.

now? you were sat on the record store counter keeping stephanie company as she did inventory, talking her ear off as she flicked through some of the vinyl’s. her eyebrows furrow concentrating on what she was doing but not hard enough that she could still hear you loud and clear.

your legs swinging back and forth sighing happily at the groovy music that ran throughout the place. that’s when the bell rang, it was ryan. he looked heated, but polite enough to say hi to her as he walked in.

walking straight for you, gulping as he got closer. legs stopped kicking when he got so close that you were faced to face. both of his hands were pressed either side of you cornering you, to do nothing but just look at him.

“i got your flowers and your little notes.”

oh fuck. you had been found out. maybe you could play it off?

“uh- what flowers?” you could feel your face flush. so much for playing coy.

“nu-uh you know exactly what i’m talking about.” his face was so close to yours, wondering if itd even help leaning back right now, just closing your eyes hoping the floor would swallow you whole right now.

“fine it was me, you happy?” closing your eyes scared of his reaction.

that’s when everything went quiet, the song changed in the shop and the melody of ‘i was made for lovin’ you’ by kiss played.

steph trying to wingman for you in the radio room.

eyes still closed a giggle left your mouth, but stopped when you felt his lips on yours, tensing up but almost immediately melting into the kiss. wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer to deepen it.

hearing a door shut and the girl in the corner cheer, making the two of you pull away laughing.

“i was hoping it was you.”

© ruewrote.

[2dmenenthusiast]

"I love you."

(Ryan Lucan x Gn!Reader)

Hey heeyyyy um disclaimer this one is DEPRESSING. I wrote this every time I felt a lil sad so like, I am basically pouring my soul out to yall lmaooo but I hope some of you find comfort in this fic if you relate at all, and remember that you are loved :)

Reblogs and feedback is always encouraged and appreciated!

Words: 3k

Summary: feeling lonely and cooped up in your apartment, you call Ryan in the middle of the night to help quiet the racing thoughts in your head.

Warnings: talks of depression, self-hate, anxiety, just a whole lotta sad, Ryan loves you so much

1:30

2:03

2:47

Your head lolled to the side as you checked the time again.

3:15

A groan left you, bringing your hands up and dragging your palms over your face. Exhaustion tugged at your eyelids, urging you to close them and doze off. But every time you tried, you just couldn’t. And you had tried everything. Counting sheep, drinking tea, watching some relaxing videos. Nothing seemed to work. Throwing the blankets off you, your bare feet touched the cold wood floor as you padded over to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. You quickly felt bile rise up in your throat and choked the water down, spluttering out a cough and spitting into the sink. God, you felt like shit.

It had been like this for the past couple days. You’d stay cooped up in your small apartment, never going out unless it was for work, and you’d lay in bed, feeling like absolute shit for just laying around, but feeling too tired to do anything else. Tired, yes, considering the fact that you could barely catch more than three hours of sleep these past couple nights.

Tears of frustration sprung and you quickly wiped at your eyes, mentally scolding yourself for how silly you were being. Christ, some days you just felt like you were suffocating, like everything happening around you was just too much to deal with. And there were moments where you wished you could just sink into the floor, and never be seen or heard from again.

But not tonight.

The loneliness you felt was overwhelming, desperately wanting to reach out and talk to one of your friends, but feeling too ashamed to burden them with your frantic thoughts and shifting emotions. You knew they were worried about you. They would place their reassuring hands on your shoulder and give you that look, that single expression that always asked the same thing.

Are you okay?

And you’d give them that simple halfhearted smile, lips twitching up in a small effort to lie to them.

I’m okay.

With trembling hands, you searched for your phone on your bed and scrolled through your limited contacts, lip pulled between your teeth as you contemplated who to reach out to. You were hyper aware of the sound of your own heartbeat, and you tentatively pressed on Ryan’s name, thumbs hovering over the phone's keyboard. It felt like minutes had passed as you contemplated what to say, frantically typing a sentence before quickly deleting it, and typing up another one. You deleted it again, and again, and again. Nothing sounded right, and you were too worried about sounding desperate or clingy.

You eventually gave up and threw the phone on the bed with a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms over your chest and pacing back and forth.

He’s probably sleeping anyway.

But you couldn’t stop staring at your phone, the thing practically screaming at you to pick it back up. Your thoughts fought with one another, everything threatening to come spilling out all at once. Before you could scream out your frustration, you snatched your phone back up and jammed your thumb on the call button. You heard it ring, once, twice, and hung up before the third.

Fuck, what am I doing?

You pressed the call button again.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring—

You hung up.

“This is stupid. God, this is so fucking stupid!”

Taking a deep breath, you called him again, frantically tapping your foot and bringing the phone up to your ear.

Please pick up. Or don’t pick up. Either is fine. Fuck, do I want him to pick up? This is stupid, this is fucking stupid, I’m fucking stupid—

“Uh, hey?”

Your eyes widened at the sound of Ryan’s groggy voice, not believing that he actually answered, and you struggled to find your voice.

“You there—?”

“Hey! Um— sorry, I just… Did I wake you?”

There was a moment of silence on his end, and you knew that you had.

“No! No, I was just uh, reading. You know, nature stuff.”

You couldn’t help but grin at the thought of Ryan staying up this late just to read about plants and animals, as if he didn’t already know everything about them.

“Wow, sounds riveting.”

He chuckled, and the sound had your chest feeling warm. Neither of you said anything for a moment, not sure how to continue a conversation at almost three-thirty in the morning. You almost hung up, too embarrassed to admit why you called when you heard him clear his throat.

“Uh, is there a reason you called so late? Is everything okay?”

You spluttered for a moment, hand rubbing the back of your neck as heat uncomfortably crawled over your skin. “Y-Yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine. Just uh… you know.” You cringed at your awkward behavior, pressing the edge of the phone against your forehead. “Sorry, I— this was dumb, I shouldn’t have called. I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Wait, wait. Hold on.”

You sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed and playing with a loose thread on your blanket as you waited for him to continue. Great, now he was definitely going to know that something’s wrong.

“Hey, you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever’s bugging you, you can tell me.”

You and Ryan had been dating for the past five months, and while you undeniably felt more comfortable around him than you ever had another person, you had never let him see this side of you. This version of you where your brain was constantly on overdrive, overthinking every little thing, your breath always catching in your throat from the overwhelming anxiety that built up in the pit of your stomach. You felt like you were standing on the outside, looking down at yourself. And you loathed it. And while you wanted to confide in him, you felt like you couldn’t. Ryan was a constant positive in your life, and you didn’t want to muddy it up by letting your gloomy thoughts and feelings interfere.

But god, you were so tired. While you could usually power through it, the weight of the loneliness and frustration you felt was almost crushing, and your hand curled into a fist at your side as your jaw clenched painfully, the tears from earlier resurfacing.

“Um, c-can I see you? It’s okay if you don’t want to, I know it’s really late and you probably just wanna sleep. But I just- I didn’t know who else to call, a-and I know I’m probably just being stupid and—”

“Hey, you’re not stupid, okay? I’ll be over in a little bit.”

Your eyes slightly widened. “Really? Like I said, you really don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to. I want to see you.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, softly sniffling as you quickly wiped at your eyes, and you hoped that Ryan didn’t catch onto the fact that you were crying. “Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in ten, alright?”

You hummed into the phone before hanging up, shoulders slumping as you placed your hand against your forehead.

It’s fine. Everythings fine.

Rifling through your drawers, you took out a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a loose fitted shirt, throwing Ryan’s flannel that he left at your place over it, and catching a small whiff of his scent. The familiar smell of the outdoors and amber was almost comforting, and you found yourself pressing your cheek into your shoulder to get a better smell. 

Ten minutes couldn’t have gone by fast enough, and you were racing down the steps of your apartment as soon as you saw the headlights of Ryan’s truck in front of your building, not wanting to spend another second without his presence. He was in the process of unbuckling his seatbelt when you threw open the door and hopped inside, slightly surprised at how frantic you were.

“Oh, I was gonna come up. I thought—”

“No. No, I just— I need to get out of there,” you muttered, slowly looking over at him and witnessing as he carefully examined you, a mix of confusion and concern in his gaze. “Can we just drive around for a little bit?”

He paused before nodding, putting his seatbelt back on and pulling out of the parking lot. The silence that settled between you wasn’t as awkward as you felt it would’ve been, but it still left you unsettled, your fingers fidgeting as you wracked your brain for something to say. As you opened your mouth to finally speak, your thoughts were cut off when Ryan reached over and lightly tugged at the sleeve of his flannel, sending you a small smile.

“You know, I was wondering where this went.” His hand slid down your arm, intertwining his fingers with yours and giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

You flustered at his touch, head leaning back as your body slumped down in the seat. “Hey, I didn’t steal it this time. You left it. As well as one of your shirts, and your toothbrush. I think I have some of your underwear in my laundry basket.”

“Oh, come on. Like there isn’t an entire drawer I cleaned out specifically for your things back at my place.”

“Wow, a whole drawer? You really know how to spoil someone, Lucan.”

He just glared at you while you sent a large grin his way. His hand moved to your thigh, pitching the area under your knee that had you squealing and shifting away from him, frantically slapping his arm.

“Hey— Ow! You’re gonna make me crash,” he laughed, no longer pinching your flesh, but his hand remained, thumb stroking back and forth over your thigh.

You hummed, leaning towards Ryan and resting against the center console, eyes trained on his face. There was always something about him that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. His voice, his touch. Hell, Steph told you once that you looked like some lovesick fool when she caught you mindlessly staring at him. How couldn’t you, though?

Ryan cast a quick glance at you, lightly squeezing your thigh. “Whatchya lookin’ at, hm?”

You smiled. ”You.”

“Oh, yeah? Is my face that interesting?”

“Mhm. You’re pretty.”

His eyes widened a fraction as his face visibly flushed, and you couldn't help but laugh as he awkwardly cleared his throat, hand squeezing the wheel.

“I, uh… Glad you think so.”

“Oh, I know so.”

He scoffed and shook his head, your hand fondly resting over his. It was moments like this that you were grateful for. Where you could forget your burdens, even if for only a second. Ryan’s presence was always a fast-acting cure for when you felt like this. Numb and rotten. Like you wanted to crawl out of your own skin because every sensation feels so fucking wrong and uncomfortable. But it was tolerable with him at your side.

The silence in the truck was almost deafening, the ringing in your ears getting increasingly louder as the seconds went by. You were anxious to turn on the radio, flicking the knob and—

Oh, you’re shitting me.

“For the love of god, please tell me I’m not actually hearing this right now,” you said, voice on the verge of laughter as your hand dragged over your eyes.

You could hear Ryan sigh over the melodic chirping coming from the radio, and he reached over to shut it off. “You remember what I do for a living, right?”

“Oh, I can guarantee with almost a hundred percent certainty that you were not listening to that for your job,” you laughed, throwing your head back against the seat.

“And so what if I wasn’t, huh?”

Your laughter died down into quiet giggles, and you leaned over the center console to press a quick kiss to Ryan’s scruffy cheek. “Well, I think it’s cute. Even if it is a bit dorky.”

He swiftly grabbed your hand when you pulled away, tangling your fingers and bringing the back of your hand to his lips. The action sent a tingling down from your fingertips, through your arm, and right into your chest. It was almost overwhelming how he made you feel sometimes. He touched you so gently, looked at you like you were the only person in the world. And you loved him with every breath you were worth.

Closing your eyes, you leaned your head back and listened to Ryan fiddle with the radio until he tuned in to a local station, a gentle melody you think you might’ve heard twice before overtaking the silence in the truck. You could hear him humming along after a moment, the deepness of his voice reverberating in your ears and sending pleasant waves washing over you. You didn’t need him to say anything or try to reassure you with positive words or gestures. He didn’t have to spend his time expressing his love for you in any physical or emotional ways, despite his overbearing want to. No, his presence next to you was comfort enough. To just know that he was within arms reach, his touch and his comfort readily available, that was more than enough.

Your eyes cracked open, and the headlights illuminated a lone road you’ve been on many times before.The overwhelming want to go somewhere different was ever present in your mind. Familiarity was always something you could cherish. The same street signs, the same buildings, the same people waving at you as you walked the same path to work. And you couldn’t deny that Haven has always and will always be your home. But, you desired change. Craved it in the most desperate way. 

You longed for different sights, the unfamiliarity of a brand new space. You wanted to learn the names of new streets, be able to barely make out the faces of people you’ve just met. Go to a recently opened cafe and try to pick out what your regular favorite would be. The mundanity of it all seemed unreachable almost. Like a life somewhere else would be forever unattainable and would remain as remnants of a dream in your clouded mind.

You felt trapped. Your tiny apartment was your safe space and your prison, this town you loved so dearly something you could never escape from. You were stagnant— stuck. With life moving at a snail's pace, and going by all too quickly at the same time. Yet, you remained. This place remained. This same, complacent existence.

“Have you ever thought of leaving Haven, Ryan?” Your voice sounded almost unfamiliar to you, so used to just sitting in idle silence.

He huffed out a breath, glancing at you and shrugging. “Can’t say I’ve put much thought into it. Why? In the mood for a little road trip?”

You know he meant it as a joke, maybe he thought you were joking. But, he had no clue the weight of reality his words held. Because yes, you would leave Haven right now if he wanted to. You’d tell him to stop the truck only when it ran out of gas so you both could get far away. But you knew Ryan would never agree to that. 

This was his home. 

The place he grew up, where all his fondest and saddest memories were shared.

He would never leave them behind.

“Hey.” He squeezed your hand. “Where do you keep going, hm? What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?”

“A lot, I guess. Feels like someone else is in there screaming at me right now.”

A pregnant pause, and then—

“Anything I can do to quiet it?”

Your bottom lip sucked between your teeth, biting down hard until the skin tingled as your eyes burned with tears. Fingers curling around Ryan’s hand, your nails lightly dug into his skin in some lame attempt to ground yourself, to keep yourself from vomiting your guts out in his truck. A silent tear rolled down your cheek, and you felt the car shift whilst he pulled over.

“Hey, hey.”

There were hands on your face, gently tugging to get you to look at the man beside you. He was gentle, far more than you deserved as his thumbs wiped away the wetness on your skin, and you wanted nothing more than to hide away. You pulled out of his grip and leaned forward, burying your head into his neck and sliding your arms around his waist under his flannel coat. His warmth seeped into your clothes and settled deep in your bones, your tears wetting his shirt and his hands rubbing up and down your back.

You could spend hours like this, crying your soul out in the front of his truck as he held you. It was painfully blissful, like the hurt didn’t matter because he was here to ease it.

“Tell me what to do. Tell me how to make it better.”

You shook your head, arms tightening around him as your heart lodged itself in your throat. He was so fucking nice. So caring and considerate. It made you want to scream, because when was the last time someone made you feel like this? Made you feel so overwhelmingly valued and loved? He had given himself so selflessly to you, and you were ready to throw yourself at his feet in return.

“Just this. This is enough.” you muttered, and he pressed his lips into your hair.

“I love you, you know?”

You did know. How could you not with the countless ways he constantly showed it?

“You deserve to be loved.”

A quiet whimper escaped your throat, and you only burrowed further into him,  arms tightening around his middle.

“You sound so sure of that,” you said, voice weak and shaky. Fuck, you felt so pathetic.

He muttered your name, gently pushing you back so he could hold your face and brush his thumbs over your tear stained cheeks. You leaned into his warmth, and a part of you wondered if this was real. If he was real. You were almost sure if you pinched yourself, you would wake up in your cold bed, and reality would be so much worse than your blissful dreams where Ryan Lucan was the center of them all.

If it was a dream, you never wanted to wake up.

“I’ve never met someone who gives so much of themselves without needing anything in return. You are the most caring, selfless, amazing person I’ve ever met. And I care so much about you.”

The praise and reassuring words were so unfamiliar, you almost didn’t believe it. But this was Ryan, and he would never lie to you. So, maybe he was just a bit delusional.

“I don’t know if any of that is true,” you said around a wet chuckle, trying to get your tears under control.

Ryan shook his head. “It’s facts. Don’t ever doubt how much you mean to me.”

You took a breath, pulling your face out of his hands so you could wipe at your eyes. Somehow, he always knew what to say to make you feel better, even if it only lasted for a moment. The comfort was welcome. Needed. Craved. And Ryan’s love for you, something he swore to you more times than you can remember, was enough to mend how broken you felt. Most days, you felt like you were being cut in half, and he was here to help put you back together. Like he was your other half to make you feel whole again.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you said, a sad smile playing on your lips.

“Ryan shook his head. “Pretty sure you have that backwards.”

You chuckled, and the warmth of his hand enveloped your own.

“I love you.”

Your thoughts are quiet, and you look up at him with misty eyes.

“I love you, too.”

[bulletbilltime]

Ryan Lucan of Life is Strange True Colors and Android 16 of Dragon Ball Z Abridged would totally just hang out and info dump at each other at birds. I believe this with my whole heart

[bigfan-fanfic]

I always forget Ryan Lucan until my brain or your blog reminds me violently about the himbo. Appreciated.

Since we're coming up on the snowy months, how would Ryan keep his boyfriend entertained they got snowed in, and the power's out?

(We all sleep on Ryan Lucan too much! Our gentle ace himbo deserves more love)

I imagine that after Ryan takes over the Black Lantern, he switches out apartments for one on main street, close by. Maybe Eleanor Lethe is selling so she can be closer to Riley at college. But in any case, the town is snowed in, and Ryan knows from experience and his park ranger days that it'll be probably about a day until they can get Main Street unblocked.

The power's out but he's got the fireplace stocked so the place can be heated, and I just know he has board games. Trivial Pursuit at least. I don't think Ryan plays video games on his own, so if there's a console, it's probably yours, but the power's out anyway, so board games it is.

I feel like Ryan would be really good to listen to reading aloud. He's kind of a quieter person in general, though, so any entertaining his does is generally more sedate. I think he might get a little crazy and suggest a drinking game or a Never Have I Ever with some trail mix or candy.

But he does end up investing in a backup generator for the house/apartment just in case for next time. Because I also think Ryan's the kind of guy that likes to have ambient music playing in the background.

[flying-ryan]

Lucan

“Mister Ryan.” Luca’s slim hand splayed across his chest and it was all the pilot could do not to think of the warm, smooth brown skin under the shirt that hid him. “Are you trying to woo me?”

Ryan wasn’t sure if the surprise and delight in Luca’s eyes and voice was feigned for dramatics or not. But it ultimately didn’t matter. “That depends,” he breathed, reaching for the engineer. One eyebrow arched up as Luca’s chest pressed against the older man. “Is it working?”

-

“Dinnae move, love.” The pilot almost broke a sweat with the force of his restraint. His cock head, dark, swollen, and glistening in the low light, teased around the boy’s puckered entrance.

Luca had orgasmed so hard he nearly passed out when Ry pushed him down, climbed over him, took both of their dicks in hand and stroked them together. He whispered glorious filth, stroking the pent up boy to a quick and sticky finish, careful to catch as much of the creamy white fluid erupting from Luca onto his own cock and shamelessly smearing it over himself.

The pilot leaned down to taste Luca once more, cum-coated, thick, and throbbing with need against the boy’s tight hole. The older man’s tongue brushed the boy’s full lips, snatching his open mouth when he smiled into the kiss and allowing the pilot further into his greedy mouth. Luca’s hands curled into Ryan’s hair, stroking his red beard and moaning incoherently into his hungry kisses even as the pilot shifted his hips to line their bodies up.

“I love ye, boy.” He hadn’t mean to say it but wasn’t scared enough to hide the truth. The truth that banged out a familiar rhythm in his chest. The truth that coursed through his veins. The truth that had him rock hard and beginning to press into his lover with an ancient desire.

“Ry-“ Luca could only gasp and kiss, clinging to the older man, trying to pull him closer and trying not to fall apart as the tears welled up at the corners of his squeezed shut eyes.

“Relax, love,” Ryan crooned, every muscle in him straining against the urge to slam his hips. To force his way inside. They’d played as much as they could handle but a few of Ryan’s fingers couldn’t match the girth of his hard cock and Luca whined and winced with every inch deeper. But ever to his credit, he never asked to stop.

“Fuck- Ry- Khalihira, you’re so big-“

“Aye, boy.” The pilot couldn’t help his snarl. Luca’s warm little body was like a vice around him. So much better than he’d imagined all those nights alone in his bed, in his shower. “But yer doin so well. My bonnie boy.”

Luca’s eyes flew open with a gasp and his body twitched around and beneath the older man when he was just about halfway in. Ryan made a mental note, pulling his hips back slightly just to push back at that same angle. Luca reacted again and the pilot throbbed, teasing the boy’s sensitive prostate with his swollen head and the slick friction of his veiny shaft. Luca’s dick, previously spent from earlier exertions began to twitch to life.

“I love yer little body, boy.” He kissed the engineer again, swallowing his little gasps and whines, savoring the dull scratch of painted nails against his tattooed back. “I love the sounds you make.” Another kiss. A deeper thrust. “I love the way your pretty little hole squeezes my cock.” Another hungry kiss. An even deeper thrust. “I’m gonna give yer every drop of me.”

[javisfreckles]

No respect for anyone who doesn't like Ryan Lucan

[queennerd81793]

So if we were to get a hypothetical LIS:TC sequel with Ryan as the main character, one particular thing would need to happen. 

Five words: A doppelganger of Ryan’s mother.

I can already imagine how emotionally destroying the story would be.

I think the final decision of the game would be very similar to that fateful stormy day on the cliff...

[rinexart]

Night Jams in Haven Springs - Life is Strange: True Colors @lifeisstrange-blog

[took me 31 app crashes and a drop of tear lmao i think its worth it. also, spot the arcadia bay references! i imagined steph bringing so much memories of it in the booth!]

STEPH GINGRICH

RYAN LUCAN AND ALEX CHEN

[kyndaris]

Relationship FOMO

Jo March is a character that holds a dear place in my heart. In the 2019 adaption, There is a particularly poignant scene that speaks to me. It is when Jo tells her mother that despite her desires to better herself and be more than just her designated station in life, she finds herself adrift and lonely.

“Women, they have minds and they have souls as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition and they've got talent as well as just beauty, and I'm so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I'm so sick of it! But... I am so lonely.”

I don’t really know if I’m asexual or if I’ve simply not had good luck when it comes to ‘meeting the one,’ but I do know that after giving it much thought, I do want a companion in life. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can be myself with. And someone who won’t judge me for any of my choices: poor or good.

Although, to be honest, the sexual aspect of a relationship just isn’t something that has truly appealed to me. I say this knowing that my internet browsing history would attest otherwise. Sometimes, though, you just have got to get down and dirty with your favourite ships! 

Cliched though it may sound, and possibly driven by the pre-programmed wants and needs of social contact that has been bred into humans, I just want a best friend that I can lean on. I saw it in school when everyone had their own best friends that they could confide all their deepest, darkest secrets. And I see it among my friends as they pair off - first marrying and then having children.

As someone who likes their independence (mostly just to play video games and do whatever the hell I want with the spare time that I have), it feels somewhat constricting to be chained to another person. No longer will I be able to read late into the night or spend most of my waking moments enjoying fantastical worlds birthed by game developers. 

And yet...

At time of writing this post, I have a coffee date (read better as a meet and greet) with someone that my grandmother’s friend has set me up with. We’ve chatted a few times over Whatsapp but it’s all been quite surface. To be quite honest, I’m not particularly enthused about this imposition on my precious time. We’ll most likely chat a while, sip some average hot chocolate and maybe eat a dessert or two (should things turn out a bit better than how I imagine it to be, perhaps I’ll edit this post. If not, just assume it went as described).

The problem probably rests solely with me and the mentality I have going into these situations. Romantic comedies have trained me to look for the spark. When I feel nothing for the stranger seated opposite me, I give up the ghost and deem the meeting a lost cause. It doesn’t help when I’ve failed to make much of an impression on them either. There’s no continuation to the conversation. Just silence.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s because they find me intimidating. A woman who games? A woman who reads a lot? A woman who has her own blog that she occasionally uses to discuss the failures of her non-existent love life?

Yeah. I suppose that can give anyone pause - man, woman, non-binary and everything in-between.

It’s not like there’s a Ryan Lucan just waiting for me on the horizon. Gosh. After playing through Life is Strange: True Colours, I want to find my own Haven Springs, Colorado. Not sure if one exists in Australia (probably neighbouring New Zealand), but that’s the place I want to set down roots and retire in.

Tangent aside, maybe it’s time to just admit that I’m either ace or grey and just invest in a pet that will love me unconditionally. 

Now, if only these people in actual relationships would stop shoving it down my throat how happy and in love they all are. 

Mother, if you’re reading this, I’d also like you to stop trying to force all these heterosexual expectations on my persons. Continuing the family line? Pumping out grandchildren for you to spoil? It’s the 21st century for goodness’s sake! And while I think I’d make an excellent mother as I try to get them to be the next brilliant genius by reading them books and encouraging a love for STEM fields regardless of what gender they’ll turn out to be, maybe just resign yourself to adopted grandchildren? 

There is IVF, I suppose...

But we’ll see. It is a new year after all and COVID-19 will hopefully just be in the rearview mirror. Maybe 2022 will be that year!

Just to be sure, I’ll put it down as a resolution. We all know how well those end up.

[x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x]

being closeted is a thing so that anon can fuck off. why would ryan a few months after steph moved there just up and tell her “oh hey i’m not straight” ???? because she’s not? sorry it doesn’t work that way. anyways ryan’s not straight. they need to admit it was an error in the system 🤣

LMAOOOOO but i love the idea of Steph moving to town and suddenly half the town has confided in her that they're queer HAHA

ur making several good points tho! I think if Jed Lucan was my dad I wouldn't want to come out, either. I can only imagine how many "life is about 3 things. hunting, sex, and women" talks happened *shudders* he definitely gives off those vibes, anyways

[crepuscolo-vibes]

Trolls left dozens of comments on Lucan’s most recent pic for hours and I think a few on Ryan’s can’t imagine why that poor guy might want to do anything he could to stop that shit. These people are horrible.

[ruewrote]

𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠 ℎ𝑐𝑠.

navigation | inbox | fem!reader

– it wasn’t hard to fall for ryan

– weekends going camping to bird watch and make smores

– him being overprotective over you since you were little

– every other day stargazing with each other maybe a little too close

– him taking you on a date in the mountains to a field of flowers because he knows how much you like them

– you making the two of you matching friendship bracelets and he begs you to remake it when it falls off with age

– he realised he liked you first, but didn’t say anything till after college

– keeps a polaroid of you in his car vanity mirror

– taking daily morning strolls in the park together

– him buying you your favourites vinyls

© ruewrote.

[2dmenenthusiast]

“I’m not even sure if that’s a real species.”

(Ryan Lucan x GN!Reader)

this didn't turn out as great as I wanted it to cuz I'm absolute shit at writing fluff but I already have another Ryan fic in the works to make up for it (that break shit was apparently a lie) I hope ya'll enjoy anyway.

Reblogs are always appreciated!

Summary: Between shitty drawings of birds and struggling with your feelings for your best friend, Ryan is determined to make your birthday one to remember

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings/other info: major spoilers for LIS: True Colors, swearing, shitty pacing, my mediocre attempt at writing fluff

“Are you done yet?”

Your feet skidded against the floor, the rubber soles of your shoes creating a loud squeak as you stopped the chair from rolling forward. Spinning to face Ryan, you give him a wide grin.

“Nope.”

He shakes his head and leans forward in his seat, looking over his work as he lets you continue your antics.

It was a beautiful day in Haven Springs, the sun shining in the bright blue sky, a comfortable breeze shaking the leaves. Most people in town were probably going hiking along the trails. You? Well, you couldn’t think of a more perfect time to bother your dear friend, Ryan, at his place of work. He wasn’t surprised to see you walk into the ranger station with two cups of coffee and a box of takeout from the bar, used to your random visits. But he told you with a guilty expression and those familiar puppy dog eyes that he had too much work to take a break with you. You had waved him off, letting him know that it was okay and you could just hang around to keep him company. Though, he didn’t think agreeing would mean you acting like an absolute menace around him.

Rolling over to the other desk, you began looking through the drawers for something to fidget with when you found a walkie, smiling to yourself as you clicked it on and held down the button.

“... Lookin’ good over there, mountain man.”

Ryan let out a soft curse and flinched when he heard his own walkie go off next to him, grabbing it before turning towards you with a narrowed gaze. “Really?”

“Ah ah! You have to talk into the walkie. Over”

“I’m not speaking into the-”

“I’m sorry, I think I’m getting a little static, can you repeat that? Over.”

Letting out a sigh, he couldn’t help but smile as he brought the walkie closer to his face. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m what? Over.”

“You’re ridiculous! Over.”

A wide smile broke out on your face as Ryan let out a soft chuckle, and you placed the walkie back inside the desk drawer before rolling over to him and lightly nudging him with your chair.

“What’s got you all stressed out? You’re usually more easy going than this,” you asked, taking a glance at what was on his desk.

He shrugged. “Just- you know, new regulations and things to go over. It’s no big deal. Just not the most fun part of my job, I guess.”

You nodded, spotting a yellow notepad and sliding it towards yourself before grabbing a pen. He watched as you drew a quick doodle of a bird, and you propped it against the lamp on the corner of the desk.

“There, now you have a feathered friend to keep you company while you're inside.”

Ryan tilted his head, examining the drawing. “I’m not even sure if that’s a real species.”

You scoffed, smacking his shoulder as he laughed. “Oh, whatever. Next time draw your own damn bird.” Standing up, you fished your phone out of your pocket to check the time. “Oh shit, I’m gonna be late. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, and don’t forget to meet me at the Lantern tonight.”

Nodding, you gave Ryan a quick hug before racing out the door and driving to work. Ever since Riley left, you quickly took over her position at the flower shop so Eleanor wouldn’t be managing the store alone. You could tell she needed the help, no matter how often she told you she was fine. Luckily, she was getting more used to accepting your help as time went on.

You stepped into the flower shop with minutes to spare, letting out a breath as you walked into the back office. Grabbing your apron, you tied it around yourself before clocking in, and as you stepped out of the room, Eleanor came out of the greenhouse with a bundle of flowers in her hand.

“Oh! Dear, what are you doing here?”

“Uh, working my shift?”

“Oh. I was sure I had you scheduled off for today,” Eleanor said, walking into the office to check your schedule.

You looked at her with your eyebrows drawn up in confusion. “But, I usually work today, don’t I?”

“Well, yes, but I assumed you didn’t want to spend your birthday working.”

Your eyes slightly widened before your expression fell and you let out a sigh. “Shit. I’m sorry, Eleanor. I’ve been so busy, I guess I just forgot.”

“Oh, I understand, dear. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t forget important things, too. Do you wanna go home?”

You shook your head. “No. No, it’s fine. I’m already here, so, might as well get some work done.”

Eleanor nodded, handing you the bundle of flowers before walking back into the greenhouse. A quiet sigh left you as you walked behind the counter and wrapped up the bundle of lilies, taking them over to the case of flowers. It didn’t surprise you that you forgot. In the past, your birthday had never been something you made a big deal about, so why should you now? The most you ever did was watch movies and have a few drinks with Ryan, Steph, and Alex, and there was nothing you enjoyed more than hanging out with them.

Steph and Ryan had been your best friends ever since you could remember, along with Gabe. When Alex came to Haven, she fit right in with all of you. And when Gabe died… well, safe to say it was hard on all of you. Like a piece had been ripped out and replaced with a giant hole. You made sure to be there for each other, especially when all the drama went down with Typhon and Jed. And when Ryan found out about his father, you could only imagine how he felt.

You remember countless nights staying up with him as he yelled and cried and questioned how his father could do such a terrible thing. There was nothing more you wanted to do than take his pain away, but all you could do was be there for him, and let him know that the people around him loved him.

You felt your face heat up when you recalled the nights he fell asleep on your shoulder after staying up late and filling up on takeout, and you shook your head as you walked back behind the counter. You knew your feelings for Ryan went way above platonic. The way he smiled, his laugh, that puppy dog look he gave you when he was confused or flustered. Everything about him made your heart flutter. And the way he would light up when he talked about his job or listed off random facts about the birds he saw when you two went on hikes, it all just made you fall for him even more.

Though, there was something nagging at the back of your head. If it was your birthday, why didn’t Ryan say anything to you earlier? You glanced up when you heard the bell above the door ring, and Alex greeted you with a small smile and a wave.

“Hey! How’ve you been, Alex?” you asked as she walked up, placing her hands on the counter. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Just came to pick up some flowers.”

You nodded and gestured over to the cooler, and she took her time as she looked over them, seeming to look for something specific. She finally reached in and pulled out a bouquet of roses, and you raised your eyebrows with a small smirk as she placed them in front of you.

“Ah. Special night with Steph?”

She shifted her gaze for a moment and let out a small laugh, reaching a hand up to rub the back of her neck. “You could say that. Oh, happy birthday, by the way.”

You smiled as you rang her up. “Thank you. Seems like everyone’s remembered except me. Well, and Ryan.”

Alex tilted her head as her brows furrowed. “Did he not say anything?” she asked, able to pick up the disappointment in your voice.

“No. But he was busy and seemed distracted when I saw him, so I don’t blame him.”

“I’m sure he’ll make it up to you.”

You nodded, and she gave you a reassuring look before grabbing the flowers and leaving, the jingling of the bell ringing loudly in the empty room. Fingers gripping the counter, you let out a shaky breath and dropped your head, trying to calm down the rapid beating of your heart. You felt pathetic. The mere mention or thought of Ryan seemed to make your heart race these days. It was a miracle you could even keep your composure around him. After being friends with him for so many years, you guess your conscience just couldn’t take it anymore.

But how could you ever confess to him? No, you couldn’t ruin your friendship like that. Ryan was one of the best things in your life, and you wouldn’t risk it for anything. Even if it meant keeping your feelings hidden.

“Hon, are you okay?”

You jumped when you heard Eleanor’s voice, looking up to meet her concerned gaze. You gave her a tight lipped smile and nodded.

“Yeah. Guess I’m just in my own head today.”

She hesitated before nodding and leaving you alone again, and you huffed as you placed your elbows against the counter. Today was going to be long.

***

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay a little longer? I know there’s more to be done.”

“Oh stop it, you. I can take care of it. Go enjoy the rest of your night,” Eleanor said, practically pushing you out the door.

You sighed and reluctantly walked out of the shop, waving at her through the window before adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking to your car. You were about to get in when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, and you took it out to see that Ryan texted you.

-6:11 Ryan:

Remember. Black Lantern after your shift.

You chuckled to yourself, quickly typing up a response.

-6:12 You:

Yes, Mister Park Ranger, sir

Har har. Just get your butt here.

-6:14 Ryan:

But not the rest of me? Idk if that’s possible, Ry.

-6:14 You:

You’re ridiculous.

-6:15 Ryan:

So you’ve told me. Be there in a few.

-6:16 You:

Pocketing your phone, you locked your car before walking down the main road towards the bar, wondering what Ryan’s urgency was. If it was to try another experimental drink, you were going to kick his ass. Last time that happened, you ended up throwing up your lunch. You arrived at the Black Lantern in just a few minutes, but when you opened the door and all the lights were off, you wondered if Ryan made a mistake.

“What the hell-”

“SURPRISE!”

The lights suddenly flickered on as people jumped up from where they were hiding, and Steph walked over with the biggest grin on her face as she blew into a noisemaker and threw paper confetti into the air.

“Happy birthday, loser.”

You scoffed, still reeling from the surprise before reaching up to pull a few pieces of confetti out of your hair. “You’re helping me get all this out later.”

She just laughed and threw an arm around your shoulders, leading you further into the bar. Everyone that you passed wished you a happy birthday, and you smiled and thanked them all, even accepting the hug Duckie gave you before you could walk past him.

“You guys really didn’t have to do this, you know,” you muttered, stopping at the bar when Steph went to grab a few beers.

“Nonsense! You never let us do anything special for your birthday. At least let us spoil you a bit this year.”

You sighed, shaking your head with a smile before looking down when you felt someone poke your arm. “Ethan! See, I knew the life of the party was here somewhere.”

He gave you a toothy grin before reaching behind him and pulling out one of his comics, nervously holding it out to you. “I uh, I wanted to give you something for your birthday. It’s an early copy of the newest volume I’m working on. I wanted you to get the first look at it.”

Your eyes slightly widened as you looked at the beautifully drawn cover, gently running your fingers over it. You had to admit, Ethan was crazy talented for a kid his age.

“Thank you, Ethan. I’m sure I’ll love it,” you said, and the boy nodded excitedly.

Hearing someone call your name, you looked up and saw Steph waving you over, Alex sitting with her in the booth. Taking a seat across from them, you narrowed your eyes as your gaze shifted between them.

“Alright, whose bright idea was this?”

They gave each other a look, trying to hold back their smiles as you heard someone behind you clear their throat.

“That would be me, actually.”

Turning in your seat, your eyes landed on Ryan standing behind you, a nervous smile on his face and his hands behind his back. Of course.

“Why am I not surprised?”

His grin widened for a split second before suddenly dropping, looking down at his shoes for a moment. “Um, can we talk outside for a sec?”

Nodding, you stood up from your seat to follow him, but you didn’t miss the giggles and quiet hushes coming from the two girls. You only got to glance back at them for a second before Ryan was placing a hand on your back and leading you out of the Lantern. The sun was almost finished setting, barely peeking out from the mountains in the distance as the water reflected beautiful oranges and yellows. No matter how long you lived in Haven Springs, you didn’t think you’d ever get used to how beautiful the sky was.

You and Ryan walked to the end of the dock, looking out at the water and mountains before you stole a glance at him. The way the light shone on his face, accentuating the curves and sharp lines of his features and reflected off his blue eyes- god, how could a man be so fucking pretty?

You quickly looked away before he could catch you staring, swallowing down the lump in your throat before you eventually turned your body towards him.

“Y’know, you didn’t have to-”

You could barely get your sentence out when Ryan was suddenly holding a bouquet of roses towards you, and you looked between his anxious expression and the red flowers for a moment before something in your head clicked.

Oh. Oh.

And then you were laughing. Ryan released the breath he seemed to be holding, his expression morphing into one of confusion before he let out a quiet chuckle of his own. “What’s- What’s so funny?”

Reaching out, your fist lightly punched his chest before you carefully took the flowers out of his hand, your laughter dying down into sporadic giggles.

“Nothing, just- wow. You’ve really outdone yourself, Lucan. Sending Alex to do your dirty work?”

A look of realization flashed across his features before he smiled and reached up to rub the back of his neck, face becoming flushed. “Uh, yeah. I didn’t want you finding out before the surprise, so…”

“Find out what?”

You could tell he was trying to come up with a proper response before he gestured towards the bouquet, and you took your time as you looked down at the beautiful arrangement. Roses. Red Roses. Flowers that made a very specific statement. And Ryan was giving them to… you. Disbelief filled you as you felt your heart suddenly jump up into your throat, and you looked up at Ryan with wide eyes.

“Ryan. I…”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just…” Taking the flowers from you, he carefully set them down and hesitantly reached out to grab your hands, the rough pads of his fingers brushing over your palms before your hands were entirely enveloped in his. “I… I don’t know if I can keep this a secret from you anymore.”

The way he was touching you was sending pulses up your arms, and you felt like you could barely breathe with how fast your heart was beating. “Ryan-”

“Please, just let me get this out. Then you can do whatever, walk away and never talk to me again if you want. I just need you to hear this.” You nodded, and he let out a breath as his grip on your hands tightened. “We’ve been friends ever since I can remember. Doing everything together, telling each other our deepest secrets and our greatest fears. I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone before… And, I can’t exactly pinpoint in all that time where I fell in love with you, but I know it’s been a while since then.”

It was like the ground had just been taken out from under you, Ryan the only thing keeping you from falling as his confession slowly sunk in. He… loves you?

Holy fuck. Ryan loves you??

“I guess I just wanted today to be special for you, to show you how special you are to me. You’ve been with me through everything, seen every side there is to me. And the only person I can imagine having any type of future with… is you.”

The chirping of the crickets quickly filled the gaps of silence, the noise almost getting louder after Ryan stopped talking, and you could barely think about what he said when you had so many thoughts racing in your head. Shit, what were you supposed to say?

“Um, if you want me to leave-”

“No! No, um, I just need a second to process-”

“Oh! Yeah, no, totally. Uh, go ahead,” he said, letting go of your hands.

God, you were both fucking wrecks of human beings. You could mark off Getting a confession of love from your childhood best friend from your Shit I Never Expected to Happen list. Taking a deep breath, you stepped closer to Ryan and took one of his hands in both of yours, giving him a small smile.

“Listen, Ryan. I don’t need flowers or a surprise birthday party to feel special. I… I always feel special when I’m around you.”

“Sooo that means?”

You rolled your eyes, your smile growing. “It means kiss me, you dork.”

He didn’t waste any time as he carefully held your face in his hands before connecting your lips to his, and you smiled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around him. You could mark kissing Ryan off that list, too. His hands moved from your face to wrap his arms around you, holding you close to his front as your hands came up to weave your fingers through his hair. As you leaned further into him, you heard a soft crinkling of paper, and momentarily broke the kiss so you could reach into the pocket of his flannel. Pulling out a piece of yellow paper, you unfolded it to reveal- Oh, jesus.

“Oh, my fucking god. Are you kidding me, Ry?” you laughed, turning the shitty sketch of the bird you’d drawn earlier towards him.

He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “I thought it could be a good luck charm, you know? Maybe while I’m out, I’ll actually find a rare species or something that looks like that. Could make you famous one day.”

You just shook your head as Ryan laughed, the sound causing a warm, fuzzy feeling to bloom in your chest.

“Who’s the ridiculous one now?”

“Oh, I think we tie for that one.”

Ryan cut your laugh off with another kiss, and you practically melted into him as that warm feeling spread throughout your body. It goes without saying, this was the best birthday ever.

[bigfan-fanfic]

The Spirit of Haven Springs (Male!Reader x Ryan Lucan)

Oh wait, you know what sounds like a really cute idea?  Since people in the Life is Strange Universe just kinda have powers sometimes, imagine reader with druidic type abilities (able to communicate with nature and command the elements to an extent) meeting Ryan in the woods while they were traveling the country and the two instantly hit it off. 

As a park ranger, it's Ryan's job to make sure things are going alright in the forest around Haven Springs.

And Haven Springs isn't exactly a place people just come to, it's pretty secluded. Pretty much the only reason people show up is to do some day hiking in the woods or because they work with or at the mine. Or if they were born there.

"Hey! You okay over there?" Ryan calls when he sees the tent. He's not worried about poachers - there aren't a whole lot of protected or valuable species, and the woods don't have a lot of good game in them, due to the mine blasts.

He's more thinking someone's gotten lost.

"S-stay back!" you call, emerging from your tent, hands outstretched. The wind begins to howl, a chill running through you both.

Ryan pauses, stretching out his hands as well. "It's okay. I'm not armed. Not here to hurt you. I'm a park ranger."

He yelps in surprise when the branch sneakily tangling around his waist pulls taut and lifts him into the air. It curls around his arms and legs with frightening speed, holding him fast.

But then, he watches as a bird flutters down, landing on your outstretched arm. It warbles a little, and you tilt your head to listen.

"You're Ryan? Ryan Lucan?"

He nods, almost more surprised that you seemed to have spoken to the bird.

The tree branch sets him down and uncoils, freeing him.

"The birds say you're... a good man."

"I try to be."

"I'm sorry. It's just... I've been kinda jumpy lately. The bears say there's hunters around."

Ryan frowns. "So... why are you out here?"

You shrug. "Sometimes it's more peaceful in nature. I like wandering around. And, well... the whole talking to birds thing tend to make people think I'm nuts."

Ryan gives you a soft smile. "I mean... over in Haven Springs, they'll look at ya weird, but nothing much worse. Otherwise I'd have been sent away a long time back."

You chuckle at that, and Ryan continues. "I have this friend over there. They've got a... similar situation to yours. Maybe you two should meet? I'm sure we could get you a place to stay in town, if you don't mind."

"I... I dunno." you sigh. "It's hard to try and put down roots after so many times of having them torn up."

"I can't imagine what that's like." Ryan nods. "And I can't promise that you'll definitely want to stay, but... you seem like good people. And there are good people there. It's a better place than most to make a new start."

You nod. "I think that sounds... good."

He smiles warmly, and offers to help you break camp.

"So... you talk to birds too? At least I have an excuse that I understand them..." you tease.

"Everyone's a critic..." Ryan jokes, before helping you carry your stuff.

In the coming weeks, you'll meet Ryan's friend Alex, who has powers she barely understands, like you. You'll come to enjoy your life in Haven, and even help catch some illegal hunters. But when the time comes that you decide to stay, and Haven throws you a "homestaying" party and you kiss Ryan for the first time that night - you know that really, it was Ryan's open heart that helped you reach this point.

Home.

[flying-ryan]

ok background - imagine this is after the rooftop scene. the next morning. isaac goes looking for luca and finds lucan. he probably storms out and ryan follows him and we end up here. i imagine this happens in a sort of sitting/drawing room outside the main bedroom of the hotel suite.

“You must be feeling very bold.” The cool tone of Isaac’s voice did not betray the icy rage just underneath his surface. Anyone that knew the man, or his family, knew that neither were on the table when it came to being fucked with. No small part of Ryan wondered exactly what that meant for them.

“It’s not hubris, Isaac.” The pilot held his hands out, ignoring the way they trembled. “It’s love.”

Isaac only sighed and sat his weight down in the closest chair. He folded his hands in front of his face like he was praying but Ryan knew it was just the way he liked to hide when he was forcing himself to breathe through a meltdown.

The pilot rubbed a hand through his bright beard, helpless to still the way his anxious leg bounced beneath him. “I gave him the Luckenbooth.”

“You- What?” Isaac’s prayer hands folded to rub against his eyes. They were both wondering if he was about to cry. “Why.”

Ryan watched the floor, too aware of the man awaiting a reasonable answer and wishing one existed to provide it. “I’m serious about him.”

“Why. Him.” It was less a question than demand and the pilot felt a creeping unease at the fire in his old friend’s familiar brown eyes.

Isaac loved his children more than life itself - Ryan’s included. He shifted uncomfortably beneath the man’s ire. “Do you want me to tell you that I’m sorry? I’m not.” He couldn’t help the way he smiled and Isaac looked one step closer to losing it. “Would you rather him have it out with some shit-for-brains teenager?” The pilot couldn’t help the way his voice raised. Everything about Luca Moreno made him feel crazy. “Some greedy fucking piece of shit with no regard for his heart?”

“Of course not.” Isaac growled. His eyes were narrowed and dangerous.

“Then what is the fucking problem?”

“He is my son!” Isaac’s outburst was uncharacteristic and something darker bubbled behind his eyes even as he collected himself to affix his trademark cool exterior. “And you were my friend.”

“That has not changed, Isaac.” Ryan’s blue eyes sparkled with the wetness signifying his emotion. His voice sounded so small.

“You’re fucking my son, Blake.” Isaac sniffed, adjusting the tight collar on his buttoned-up shirt. “Everything has changed.” Isaac was at the door, his back to Ryan and the darkened sitting room. “Get him in the shower and have him in the lobby in one hour.” He didn’t need to voice the or else.

[jlalitac]

Portraiture as performance

This lecture will consider what a photographic portrait can say about an individual. How the photograph can assist in understanding who we are and how we construct a sense of self.

How we look when we turn ourselves into portrait? The image in the mirror might not be the same as we look.

Do we construct a world for ourselves? OR is the world constructed for us? OR does the answer lie somewhere between the two?

Artists

Vivien Maier

Cindy Sherman

Sue Packer - The Babies

Helen Levitt (street photographer)

William Eggleston

Andre Kertesz : Ernest, Paris, 1931

Loretta Lux, Jessie and virginia 1989

Nicholas Nixon - The brown sisters

Francesca Woodman, Rhode Island, 1975 : exploring intol body

‘The beast in the nursery’ Phillip’s text from the book

Phillips is interest in

; the Child’s appetite, serious, imagination perception.

; how we grow up or as Phillips puts it grow out of things.

; the facts of life ( the fiction of life)

“The imagination creates reality and as desire is part of the imagination, the world we desire is more real than the world as passively accept.” (Adam Phillips)

Fashion is about projecting through photograph into fantasy. There is no real relationship with the object.

The importance to define the world.

I can’t see the world without a word to describe it - the word acts as a lens.

‘The capacity for transformation, for the imaginative and often bizarre refashioning of everyday experience.’

‘All photograph of ‘type’ were framed be a wider culture discourse which marked and read human character through visual signs of the human body.’ James Ryan - Picturing Empire.

‘The relationship between external likeness and internal identity’

The Pose

soothing that is learnt

Children imitating Adult behaviour

History of Photography and the history of the Pose

‘When we pose we make ourselves into a frozen image. We make ourselves into a photograph’

‘So identification becomes a construction, a process never completed always in process’ Stuart Hall

A sense of cultural belonging whilst at the same time our need to assert our individuality.

‘What I am trying to describe is that it's impossible to get out of your slain into somebody else’s, and that is all about’

Sigmund Freud - formation of identity involves the way the unconscious informs our conscious selves,

Jaques Lucan 0 through language we articulate a sense of who we are.

Born into a condition of lack and it desire is driven by the end to overcome this lack (Lacan)