#s4d!st

[phoenixdown755]

[fruttituttiagal]

My OCS with Andy Rico's OC, Charlie (aka Charlotte) on the photo. The photo is based on a base that I saw on a video of LPS YouTuber called Coalette LPS. S4d!st's OC is the one wearing a pink ribbon. [Those dresses they are wearing were based on some cartoons and a brazilian children series]

Note: Emily is wearing socks. She wears socks and sandals, and the only who wears nothing in her feet is Daisy Roberts

[balladofandromeda]

(Translation at halfway point.)

H! 3v3ryon3 ^-^ you dont have to !nt3r4ct w!th th!s, ! just w4nt3d to post !t.

! dont f33l l!k3 !m qu!t3 3nough to b3 4nyth!ng. ! dont f33l l!k3 ! show 3nough symptoms of 4nyth!ng to v4l!d4t3 suff3r!ng from !t. Th3 p3opl3 4round m3 dont h4t3 m3 or lov3 m3 3nough for th3m to f33l 4nyth!ng 4bout m3. !m not p3rc3pt!v3 3nough to know wh4t ! w4nt, but ! c4n t3ll ! d!sl!k3 th!ngs. !m not s!ck 3nough to b3 !ll or w4rr4nt sk!pp!ng out on 4nyth!ng but ! N3V3R f33l good 3nough to f33l good. ! c4n t3ll ! shouldnt f33l th3 w4y ! do b3c4us3 you dont h4v3 to b3 3nough but ! st!ll f33l th3 w4y ! do so cl34rly !m not fuck!ng good 4t r34ssur!ng mys3lf 4nd ! n3v3r m4k3 qu!t3 3nough s3ns3 for p3opl3 to und3rst4nd. 4nd 3v3n wh3n th3y do th3y dont und3rst4nd wh4t th3 fuck !m s4y!ng. 4nd ! dont f33l l!k3 ! suff3r 4s much 4s 3v3ryon3 3ls3 so ! c4nt !n 4 b4d h34dsp4c3. !m not oppr3ss3d 3nough to w4rr4nt suff3r!ng, 4nd ! f33l l!K3 !m just try!ng to g4!n 4tt3nt!on wh3n p3opl3 try 4nd r34ssur3 m3, but I w4nt to b3 r34ssur3d 4nd ! f33l fuck!ng t3rr!bl3 4bout w4nt!ng th4t. !m not pr3tty 3nough to b3 4ttr4ct!v3 4nd !M not ugly 3nough to t4lk 4bout !t.

! h4t3 th4t wh3n !m sc4r3d th3r3s nobody ! c4n t4lk 4bout !t to. Th3r3s noon3 ! h4v3 to hug wh3n ! cry 3xc3pt 4 fuck!ng sh4rk plush. ! w4nt som3on3 to lov3 4nd som3on3 who would lov3 m3 too, 4nd ! dont trust my f4m!ly !n th3 w4y to go to th3m wh3n !m s4d or sc4r3d or to show th3m 4nyth!ng 4nd ! dont f33l th4t w4y 4bout 4ny of my fr!3nds 3!th3r. ! fuck!ng h4t3 th4t my !mm3d!4t3 r34ct!on to th!nk!ng som3th!ng 4bout mys3lf m4y b3 b3c4us3 of som3th!ng th4ts b4d !s to try 4nd f!nd 4ny 3xcus3 to !nv4l!d4t3 !t. !f ! cl34rly show s!gns of som3th!ng ! f!nd 4ny w4y to t3ll mys3lf !m not show!ng 3nough s!gns to 4 h!gh 3nough d3gr33. ! dont w4nt to b3 4 boy but ! f33l l!k3 ! dont f33l strong 3nough 4bout th4t. ! h4t3 mys3lf for w4nt!ng th3r3 to b3 som3th!ng ! know !s wrong w!th m3 so ! c4n v4l!d4t3 b3!ng wrong. !m sorry for m4k!ng th!s, sorry !f you f33l burd3n3d b3c4us3 of !t. ! dont w4nt you to f33l burd3n3d.

(Translation)

Hi everyone ^-^ you dont have to interact with this, i just wanted to post it.

i dont feel like im quite enough to be anything. I dont feel like i show enough symptoms of anything to validate suffering from it. The people around me dont hate me or love me enough for them to feel anything about me. im not perceptive enough to know what i want but i can tell i dislike things. Im not sick enough to be ill or warrant skipping out on anything but i NEVER feel good enough to feel good. I can tell i shouldnt feel the way i do because you dont have to be enough but i still feel the way i do so clearly im not fucking good at reassuring myself and i never make quite enough sense for people to understand. And even when they do they dont understand what the fuck im saying. And i dont feel like i suffer as much as everyone else so i cant be in a bad headspace. Im not oppressed enough to warrant suffering, and i feel like im just trying to gain attention when people try and reassure me, but i want to be reassured and i feel fucking terrible about wanting that. Im not pretty enough to be attractive and im not ugly enough to talk about it.

I hate that when im scared theres nobody i can talk about it to. Theres noone i have to hug when i cry except for a fucking shark plush. I want someone to love and someone who would love me too, and i dont trust my family in the way to go to them when im sad or scared or to show them anything and i dont feel that way about any of my friends either. I fucking hate that my immediate reaction to thinking something about myself may be because of something thats bad is to try and find any excuse to invalidate it. if i clearly show signs of something i find any way to tell myself im not showing enough signs to a high enough degree. i dont want to be a boy but i feel like i dont feel strong enough about that. I hate myself for wanting there to be something i know is wrong with me so i can validate being wrong. Im sorry for making this, sorry if you feel burdened because of it. I dont want you to feel burdened.

[agapaic]

tag game

thank you so much to @ginmayo and @namenamejk for tagging me! ✨

nickname: beth or betty (family nickname)

zodiac sign: libra/scorpio cusp

height: 5′7″ / 5′ 8″ depending on my mood

hogwarts house: ravenclaw i think?

last thing i googled: jiuzhaigou national park fauna

song stuck in my head: stripes by alix page and rose coloured by foreign fields

following and followers: 268 / 2,313

amount i sleep: 8-9 hours on good days

lucky number(s): lol all the birthdays of my family - i use these for the lottery haha

dream job: writing

wearing: oversized black t-shirt i got at a brewery/bar in st lucia and a pair of my grandfather’s black cargo shorts lmfao. i call it my ‘writing and gardening and don’t want to sit in running clothes all day’ look.

favourite song(s): snow in october by chelsea cutler and maybe all i wanna say by lontalius

random fact: we have three paintings by an argentinian artist in our house (fabian perez), and we’d like to collect more. i went to birmingham once with my partner, and we had dinner in the restaurant of our hotel, and the artist was sitting on a table across from us - i still have his autograph. 

favourite author(s): phillip pullman, terry pratchett, c.s. pacat,  leigh bardugo, sarah perry, donna tartt, early trudi canavan and karen miller, etc.

favourite animal noises: a forest full of birds, my cat being rudely awoken, my dog when she’s excited to go on a walk.

aesthetic: chamomile tea and super sweet iced coffee, plants, neutral tones and natural fibres, sitting in the sun, diy and secondhand, watching the same movie/show over and over again, running as the sun starts to set, constant music, a well-stocked bookcase, blue skies, vague IG captions, photos of the moon and sunset and budding flowers, clean sheets drying in the wind, dog-eared books and cookbooks, listening to good podcasts.

tagging: (no obligation!) @plumb19 @geoviki @casually-inlove @vixen-hunt @beautifulboysbeingbusy @s4d-b0t-r4d 

[amazingdancetalent]

Showbiz Minneapolis Results 2019

Sapphire Level

Mini Large Groups

1 - Yankee Doodle, Northern Force

2 - Small Foot, Northern Force

3 - Heaven Hop, Summit

4 - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Summit

5 - Frog Prince, Northern Force

6 - Surfin’ USA, Summit

7 - It’s a Dog, Studio 4

8 - It’s a Small World, Studio 4

9 - Tarzan, 4th Street

10 - Keep Your Eye on the Ball, 4th Street

Teen Large Groups

1 - Heart Cry, Larkin

2 - Spell on You, St. Cloud

3 - Hit the Road Jack Remix, Lorenz

4 - Clap Snap, Lorenz

5 - Time Warp, Larkin

6 - Lucas with the Lid Off, St. Cloud

7 - Dance Dance Ole, 4th Street

8 - Instruction, St. Cloud

9 - Light It Up Remix, Lorenz

10 - Toxic, St. Cloud

Teen Lines

1 - I Will Wait, St. Cloud

2 - Rock On, Dance Conservatory

Teen Productions

1 - We the People, Lorenz

Senior Large Groups

1 - Beautiful, St. Cloud

2 - Young and Beautiful, St. Cloud

3 - Come Together, St. Cloud

Ruby Level

Mini Large Groups

1 - Black Cat, Larkin

2 - If You’re Happy and You Know It, Larkin

Junior Productions

1 - Moulin Rouge, Studio 4

Teen Large Groups

1 - Color in Anything, St. Cloud

2 - Party Rocker, Summit

3 - I Surrender, St. Cloud

4 - Pushing On, Summit

5 - Survivor, St. Cloud

6 - State of Mind, Dance Arts Centre

7 - Never Let Me Go, Studio 4

8 - Lost Without You, Summit

9 - Ashes, Summit

10 - Always Midnight, Dance Arts Centre

Teen Lines

1 - Used to be Mine, Northern Force

2 - Next to You, Northern Force

3 - Focus, Northern Force

4 - Smooth Criminal, Northern Force

5 - Work Song, Summit

6 - Count Me Out, Summit

7 - Sax, Summit

8 - Shipping Up to Boston, Northern Force

9 - Mission Impossible, St. Cloud

10 - Supermodel, Summit

Teen Productions

1 - ESPN, Summit

2 - J-Lo, 4th Street

Senior Large Groups

1 - Smother, St. Cloud

2 - Where Have You Been, Summit

3 - Born for This, 4th Street

4 - Hurt, Summit

5 - Sing Sing Sing, Summit

6 - Stay Alive, 4th Street

7 - Good Rhythm, 4th Street

8 - I Got You, 4th Street

9 - Toxic, St. Cloud

10 - Fire Meets Fate, Summit

Diamond Level

Teen Large Groups

1 - Beauty, Larkin [Elite]

2 - Time, Summit [Elite]

3 - The Wanderer, Northern Force [Elite]

4 - Metamorphosis, Summit [Elite]

5 - Go, Summit [Elite]

6 - Don’t Miss It, Northern Force [Elite]

7 - Already Home, Northern Force [Elite]

8 - Easy, Northern Force

9 - Lessons Learned, Studio 4

10 - Mi Gente, Northern Force

Teen Lines

1 - Fall on Me, Larkin [Elite]

2 - Senorita, Larkin [Elite]

3 - Wild is the Wind, Larkin [Elite]

4 - Suite No. 1, Larkin

5 - Rhythm and Drums, Summit [Elite]

6 - Misplaced, Larkin

7- Thataway, Studio 4

8 - I Got Faith, Larkin

9 - Drumline, Larkin

10 - Long Distance, Larkin

Teen Productions

1 - Bohemian Rhapsody, Northern Force [Elite]

2 - Can You Feel It, Summit [Elite]

3 - Saloon, Larkin [Elite]

4 - Crazy in Love, Dance Arts Centre [Elite]

5 - Live at S4D, Studio 4 [Elite]

Senior Large Groups

1 - 9 Crimes, Larkin [Elite]

2 - Alone, Northern Force [Elite]

3 - Rock Your Soul, Northern Force [Elite]

4 - Something Bad, Dance Arts Centre [Elite]

5 - My Lair, Dance Arts Centre [Elite]

6 - Miss You, Dance Arts Centre [Elite]

7 - Forget Where We Were, Northern Force [Elite]

8 - The Greatest of All Time, Summit [Elite]

9 - No Peace, Summit [Elite]

10 - Rescue, Studio 4

Senior Lines

1 - Sophisticated, Larkin [Elite]

2 - If You Went Away, Larkin [Elite]

3 - Our Favorite Son, Northern Force [Elite]

4 - Route 66, Larkin [Elite]

5 - Are You Ready for This, Summit

6 - Carry You, Studio 4

Senior Productions

1 - A Chorus Line, Larkin [Elite]

Special Awards

Choreography

Student Choreography - Kalli Fitterer, You Say, Kelly’s Dance Academy

Sapphire - I’m Still Standing, St. Cloud

Sapphire - Yankee Doodle, Northern Force

Ruby - Stand by Me, 4th Street

Ruby - A War, Dance Arts Centre

Diamond - Hey Pachuco!, Studio 4

Diamond - Metamorphosis, Summit

Regional - Sophisticated, Larkin

Elite Top Studio

Larkin

Sportsmanship

St. Cloud School of Dance

Prop Award

Fabulous, Larkin

Group Costume

Where Are You Christmas, Northern Force

Judges Choice

Time, Summit

Bohemian Rhapsody, Northern Force

Adult Judges Choice

#Daditude, Studio 4

Group Icon Awards

Sapphire - Like a Girl, Larkin

Ruby - Above the Clouds, Northern Force

Diamond - Sophisticated, Larkin

[phoenixdown755]