#saezuru chapter 54

[saezurusteve]

TERMINATOR D!

[artemisrisen]

I don’t think yashiro and nanahara are out of the woods yet with yakuza trouble, since kai (the thug with the kidnapping group) saw yashiro from the window. I don’t think it’s wrong to assume that kai can put some info together and realize that yashiro is doumeki’s former boss who just HAPPENS to be hanging around where yamakawa is hiding. and it seems like one of the main goals of this group is to get doumeki. a bit stressful!

[danmeibrainrot]

Yup. It's official. It's Inami that tells Doumeki about Yashiro's impotency. I'm both happy that he FINALLY knows and sad that it's goddamned Inami that he gets to hear it from.

[neartheeasternfence]

Doumeki Sells Something That Is Not Oil

Impressions; Chapter 54

When Mama first appeared in the full dress (ch.38, vol.7), she seemed to be possibly in her 40s or so (mature or toshima [aged]), but in reality, she must be much younger. Kamiya tells her she is not suited for this business, and she talks to herself the same thing. She may have been told the same thing by someone else, or she might know someone likewise in an unsuitable business.

Yashiro is tangled with Kai’s men and boasts that he was not ‘educated’ to give personal information out to people he did not know well. Both Yashiro and Nanahara are proud of their status as “regularly ‘educated’ yakuza (currently, quasi-constituent members),” and for them, the street gangs are nothing more than hoodlums. Later, Yashiro says it was lucky Doumeki left the scene because they knew his face. Nanahara replies, “Where is that guy ‘selling oil’?” Yashiro looks away and mutters, “He would have gone to sell something that is not oil.” “Selling oil” means “talking unnecessarily and neglecting one’s work,” and picking a fight with another is called “selling a fight.” Yashiro looks perplexed that Doumeki has been taking one part of his problem on his shoulders.

Doumeki became more ‘protective’ of Yashiro after having an affair with no excuse in chapter 52. From another viewpoint, there are underlying ownership and control. Yashiro has always had a strong aversion to them. I think his childhood experience had been the epitome of “being owned and controlled by sex,” and as he had grown up, he had tried to regain (at least) ‘agency’ in sex (if he was unable to refuse it). He has wanted to do it roughly, to be even gang raped and aimed to derive pleasure from it (and indeed he could). But now, Yashiro is going to give himself over to Doumeki’s ‘protection.’ It is true that Doumeki is no longer his subordinate and cannot give him orders. Also, the reunion and the subsequent relationship between the two is moderately business-related and is difficult to handle as private alone. However, there must also be the inner transformation of Yashiro. The indiscriminate pleasure for him has been lost since the night with Doumeki four years ago. While he has regained it by Doumeki, it is not indiscriminate anymore.

Tsunakawa knew Kai. The fact has been immediately brought to Doumeki. So Inami has had little new information to offer Doumeki. That means, in short, Doumeki comes to Inami almost for Yashiro. He destroys and wrests whatever Yashiro’s video in Inami’s hands, and tells him never to meet ano-hito again. It is like a plea.

[lustfulcat]

Chapter 54 Spoilers

-Kamiya beats up some dude who he thinks has stolen money from the Club Mother (you know, the one who calls Doumeki "Chikara") and at some point he asks her about Doumeki being her boyfriend. She's like waitwhat.

-Yashiro and Nanahara are on the hunt for Yamakawa and stalking some gang members. Apparently, Yashiro flirts with them and somehow Nanahara gets beat up like it's Volume One.

-Doumeki is meeting Inami for information, instead of Yashiro, and Inami is not liking that, so he shows Doumeki the blackmail reel, AND DOUMEKI PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE. wooohoooooo

-Another big reveal in this chapter is that Inami tells Doumeki that Yashiro is impotent and insinuates that Doumeki is assaulting Yashiro "too." Doumeki must be so confused...or really not bc if someone told me they couldn't get an erection when they were with Inami I would be like "yeah, why would you, he's gross"

[nendoshinkai]

Looks like we are speeding along into the Yakuza plot. Pretty, unsettlingly fast.

But Yashiro….Damn!!! 🥰🍑

[cosmicjoke]

Alright, chapter 54 of Saezuru.

Some really interesting developments this chapter, I think.

The first thing I want to talk about is the bar maid, who we finally get a name for, Izumi. What struck me this chapter was the parallel that seems to be drawn between her and Yashiro. We see her protesting Kamiya beating up the guy who stole the money from the bar, and see that she's being made very uncomfortable by the display of violence. She later asks Kamiya to forgive him. What I noticed here was what Kamiya says to her then, about this life not "suiting her" and telling her she's "too kind". That's exactly what Ryuuzaki said about Yashiro once. The life of a Yakuza, a violent life, doesn't suit either Izumi, or Yashiro. Yashiro is ALSO too kind. He can't ever bring himself to be ruthless the way one really needs to be to make it in that world. There's countless examples of this throughout the story, of Yashiro not being able to just turn his back on others, not being able to abandon anyone, always helping others, even at his own expense, etc... I've talked before about Yashiro's feminine qualities, and why I think he's fearful of admitting to Doumeki that he wants to be treated gently, because it recalls for him what his step-father used to say to him about really "being a woman". If Yashiro admits that he doesn't like to be treated roughly, or violently, if he admits he doesn't like being abused, it's like admitting his step-father was right about him. When you really think about Yashiro's coping mechanism, this persona he's built for himself of being a masochist, and you put it into context with what his step-father used to tell him about himself, it makes all the more sense why Yashiro clung to that persona for so long. It was an attempt to free himself from the idea of being a victim, but also an attempt to prove his step-father wrong. We later see Inami calling Yashiro a "masochist freak", too. I feel like Yoneda is drawing a deliberate parallel here between Yashiro and Izumi. Kamiya confronts her about being Doumeki's girlfriend, and we know Yashiro is also under the impression that Doumeki is with her romantically, and that he's secretly been longing for Doumeki to treat him with the same gentility and kindness that he's observed him treating her with. I think Yoneda is kind of suggesting here again that Yashiro is very much like a woman in his sensibilities, in his temperament, in his desires.

That's not to say Yashiro is transgender. I don't think that. He wasn't meant to be a woman, like his step-father told him, and he doesn't feel like he's in the wrong body. But what he does share in common with a woman, like Izumi, is that he doesn't belong or fit into a world of violence and this sort of toxic, masculine behavior that's so prevalent in and among the yakuza. There's a reason everyone in that world has always treated Yashiro the way they do. They view him I think, in some ways, like he's a woman. That might be why they don't consider it "gay" when they use him for sex. Because they've designated him almost like he's some sort of female object to be used and abused in whichever ways they like. Ryuuzaki even asked Yashiro, famously, if he ever wished he was a woman, and Yashiro told him no, but then said he thinks it would be easier if he was, because it wouldn't be so difficult for him to have sex with men. Yashiro is gay, but he wants to have a relationship with another man that, generally, he believes, would more resemble a man's relationship with a woman. He once thought about knowing the pain of a man loving another man. That pain being one he was, tragically, intimately familiar with at that point. Yashiro associates brutality and rape with gay relationships, because that's all he's ever really known. Yashiro is a gay man with feminine sensibilities, but even those who recognized that, like Ryuuzki, wished he were a woman, so he could "protect" him. This is the kind of message Yashiro's been getting his whole life. He's a man, so he gets abused by other men, and he could only get what he really wants, that is, to be treated gently, if he were a woman. But being a woman would mean his step-father was right about him. So he finds himself in sort of this no-mans land, where he he isn't really a man or a woman. Again, instead, he ends up feeling like he's some sort of deformed monster or alien that doesn't fit anywhere. The truly heartbreaking thing about all of that, of course, is that it continues to perpetuate and reinforce for Yashiro exactly the sorts of things his step-father used to say to him, and what his step-father made him believe about himself. That there's something wrong with him. I feel like all of this is going to come to a head at some point. With Doumeki becoming more and more firmly entrenched in the world of the yakuza, and us as an audience being given more and more clues about Yashiro's own lack of compatibility with that same world, eventually something's going to have to give. I truly believe that Yashiro can't remain a yakuza, or even connected to the yakuza, and ever really find happiness, or contentment. Living in that world, in that environment, surrounded by those kinds of people, makes it impossible for Yashiro to ever, truly be himself, or to discover who he really even is.

Anyway, about Inami. I think he showed that video to Doumeki just to sow discord between him and Yashiro. Inami is a genuine sadist. He's someone who just wants to and enjoys hurting people. He's trying to upset Doumeki by showing him the video of him raping Yashiro, and then expressing how much fun he gets out of doing it. He tells Doumeki that Yashiro is impotent and that doing it with him equates, essentially, to rape, which he says is "too good" to just call "killing time". He's saying that he enjoys raping Yashiro to the point that it's an activity he wants to seek out and continue with. And then he suggests to Doumeki that Yashiro is having sex with both of them as a means of hurting himself. He calls Yashiro a "masochist freak" and tells Doumeki that he comes to him after having sex with Doumeki because he isn't satisfied with just one man raping him. In Inami's sick and twisted mind, he thinks this is what Yashiro wants. He's projecting his own perversions onto Yashiro. What's interesting here is what Doumeki will do with this information. Because Inami doesn't know that Yashiro isn't impotent when he's with Doumeki, but he's just revealed to him that Yashiro seeks him out as a means of punishing, or hurting, himself, or so he believes. He tells Doumeki to make sure Yashiro is "good and satisfied" next time, since "that isn't working anymore". I think what Inami means here is that he thinks Yashiro is becoming more extreme in his masochism, needing MORE punishment to get it up, but it's really the opposite. And I think maybe Doumeki is going to realize what Inami doesn't. Maybe Doumeki will put two and two together and realize that Yashiro's impotence is a result of him no longer enjoying that kind of rough treatment, and maybe from there, he'll start to realize what it is Yashiro really wants.

Just to end this on, I loved how Yashiro was on to that waiter watching them. Can't fool this dude for anything, haha. His entire interaction with Nanahara was great this chapter. They really do just come across as friends. Yashiro laughing at Nanahra's suit getting messed up, seeming to abandon him to fight those thugs by himself, but coming back for him and then helping to get him patched up afterward. But they always have each others backs, in their own ways.

[crayonkant]

Saezuru Chapter Titles

Well, my archival obsession with the chapter covers continues. Here are all titles to date as of October 2023.

Legend, based on the illustration:

Yashiro - italics Doumeki - bold font Yashiro and Doumeki - blue font

[1] Defiant, or twisted, there's nothing else to do... but continue living.

[2] Unconsciously, love is born.

[3] Sentimental, irritating, suffocating.

[4] Quietly, secretly... passionately.

[5] Just staying by your side...

[6] So close, yet our hearts are afar.

[7] There are things I want to tell you, but I have no words to convey them...

[8] You don't know how important someone is to you until you're about to loose them...

[9] It's so cold, it gives people a lancinating kind of pain, yet, there is an unspeakable sense of comfort. (note: unusual color cover with Misumi and Yashiro's naked legs)

[10] Back then, when he was still a nobody...

[11] Those unseen wounds, hurting little by little.

[12] Something is about to change...

[13] Downtrodden, life continues -

[14] The past... begins to stir - (note: unusual color cover with a bird's pov and tiny unrecognizable figures)

[15] (no text)

[16] I want to protect... I want to be protected... this contradiction is - (note: unusual cover with story panel of Hirata on the ground and speech bubbles. One bubble could be read as continuation of the title : "[this contradiction is - ] ... pretty dangerous".)

[17] I don't want to vanish from your gaze. (note: unusual cover with story panel and speech bubbles. D: "You could say I'm no match for the force of this person." Y: "I don't want to vanish from your gaze".)

[18] Everyone goes on living with the weight of the past on their shoulders. (note: unusual Nanahara? cover)

[19] Even the smallest things can alter fate.

[20] Someone's hatred towards someone Someone's feelings towards someone - (note: unusual car chase cover)

[21] no cover

[22] The time for everything to change has come -

[23] Even though all I want is to love him it will only hurt him...

[24] I can't allow myself to be touched by those hands

[25] What is this The way this is Is not the way that I know (note: crazy double page cover that will get its own post)

[26] nothing

[27] When it's too late I always think... "Why..?"

[28] A past that can never be erased Memories that won't be forgotten

[29] The feelings that ensnare and the feelings that are real... In the end, will they be revealed as love, or...

[30] Little by little... Things start to go crazy.

[31] So many thoughts, So much anticipation, All blending together...

[32] There's something I've always wanted to know.

[33] I've never needed Anyone Or any thing

[34] nothing

[35] Endings and beginnings Beginnings and endings (note: could also be read "Beginnings and endings Endings and beginnings")

[36] nothing

[37] 4 years have passed... and time flew by in parallel lines

[38] Living under the same sky

[39] Finally, things are moving

[40] There is something in the memory that can't be erased.

[41] I never planned on meeting him again

[42] Feelings are aching

[43] Things that changed Things that haven't And some things that cannot be changed.

[44] Yashiro and Doumeki's On equal footing New relationship Begins! (note: strangest title, so different in style than all others)

[45] After being separated for 4 years, The thing Doumeki saw was...

[46] I thought I fully understood that guy...

[47] What is it you desire?

[48] Pretending as if nothing happened

[49] Even if our positions changed, The feelings are...

[50] Wanting to destroy everything (note: unusual cover, portrait of Yashiro with only Doumeki's gloved hand in the picture...)

[51] I didn't know. Was this what I wished for? (note: unusual cover showing only legs, assuming it's the both of them)

[52] nothing

[53] What I really wished for was...

[54] For us both, There are things we don't know

[novabl]

Saezuru Chapter 54

Spoilers!!!

Disclaimer: this is based on summaries from twitter and will have my opinion throughout.

The chapter starts out with Kamiya questioning the yakuza guy about the robbery. It seems like the sakura has been having issues with robberies lately. I am not sure if he was able to actually find out who was involved but once the questioning is completed Kamiya makes a remark to the mama about Doumeki being her boyfriend and she neither confirms nor denies. I saw somebody say she has a reaction that shows denial but it is hard to say because I haven’t seen the chapter. It is funny to me that Kamiya is the one who straight up confronts her about it but I guess he has a good amount of interaction with her being apart of sakura. Yashiro and Nanahara get confronted by the waiter that was eyeing them at the end of 53 and Yashiro tries to flirt his way out. It doesn’t seem to work though and Nanahara protects him from getting hit. Can I just say that I am glad that they never hooked up. Yashiro needs friends and Nanahara is the closest one right now. Then we get to Doumeki and Inami where Inami is suspicious of Doumeki and tries to have a mutual exchange of info. Inami then tries to threaten Doumeki with a video of Yashiro and Inami havong sex. Doumeki punches him, destroys his phone and grabs Inami to try to get it off the cloud which wouldn’t work in that moment lol. Doumeki tells Inami to stay away but Inami says that is not for Doumeki to decide and says Doumeki is a rapist for having sex with an impotent man which surprises Doumeki and that is the end. My predictions were somewhat right. Doumeki did demonstrate a level of control and didn’t beat the shit out of Inami. There is a chance of that next chapter but Inami was being plenty gross this chapter and even showed a sex tape of Yashiro. If Doumeki can control himself in that situation then I think he could in the upcoming chapter. Inami also clearly states that Doumeki won’t scare him off so I am pretty sure getting rid of Inami is for Yashiro to do.

It is still early and I am sure more details will come out to change how I feel about the chapter but I wanted to get some feelings out now.

[saezurusteve]

Hello SaezuruSteve team, I hope that you're all doing well! ❤

I was wondering if you are planning to release chapter 53 and 54? I always love your high quality scans though I always buy the magazine.

And I also wanna say thank you so much for all of your hard work.

Hello Anon, and thank you!

I want to release chapters 53, 54, and the impending 55, at least I think I do. I'm sure my team would like to do so as well, at least I think they do. However, life is a shit sandwich... and sometimes you just don't have enough bread to not taste the shit.

The Steves have suffered some losses of friends, family, homes and countries. It's been a fucking horrible-ass year, in fact it's been a horrible-ass TWO years! And even though I scanned chapter 53, chapter 54 is still sitting here untouched because I lost my copies of it for about a month. Grief and misery have a way of blinding you to the fact that you put it on the table by the door when you came in, and even though you are looking right at it, it's invisible because for a moment it was the last thing I wanted to think about.

Maybe things happen for a reason, and I'm so grateful that @itwearsadress came along and saved everyone from having to wait for the chapter. It's been a sigh of relief.

As for us... once the rain stops... I will answer with a strong and hopeful "Maybe? Probably? Perhaps?" Because scanning Saezuru sure has been fun and I would hate to not see it through to the end.

I'll keep you posted!

Love Always,

Steve

P.S. Be good kids and do what @itwearsadress asks of you, and don't fuck up a good thing! ;D

P.P.S.

Someone dropped this:

What the frick? Someone dropped this too???? Must be Saezuru Month! ;D

[artemisrisen]

if somehow nothing else goes wrong and doumeki is able to meet up with yashiro and nanahara again, I can only imagine yashiro asking, “did you get the info about the man in the photo?” and doumeki responding, “kai? I already knew him.”

cut to yashiro, speechless, because why did you go see inami then…??? 👊🏻 📱 👞

[danmeibrainrot]

DOUMEKI PUNCHED INAMI ON THE FACE HELL YEAH!!! 🎉🎉

[neartheeasternfence]

ihr HertZ November 2023 has just been released. 24 pages. We can find the Author’s name on the announcement of the next issue that will be released on 30th November.

[lustfulcat]

A quick clean of chapter 54's cover, along with a phone wallpaper for all y'all. Enjoy!

[artemisrisen]

we’ll have to see in two months, but I’m pretty convinced that inami is in contact with kai/the ryuuzu group (the yakuza-backed gang whose members kidnapped niki) and trying to trade doumeki over to them on this impulse meeting. why else get so excited to talk to a guy who beat the shit out of you the last time you were together? why chit-chat around in an empty parking lot with a guy who has only become meaner and more powerful? lol. I hope doumeki isn’t so gobsmacked over yashiro’s “condition” (and starts combing through all their interactions up until that point and painstakingly re-assessing everything that has happened) that inami actually gets the upper hand. at least inami’s phone is in heaven now. 🙏🏻

[novabl]

Question about estimating how much of Saezuru is left. I think we had some previous discussions since we know Saezuru is winding to a conclusion soonish. Looking at the previous volumes, there seems to be typically 6-7 chapters. We are now hitting chapter 8 for volume 9 (unless they don't name which chapters are in which volumes? are we still in vol. 9?) so I am thinking this will be the final vol. 9 chapter and we'll have either a, them admitting feelings and reaching a new level of stuff to work through or maybe b, hit another denial wall that pushes them further apart. And with either scenario we enter vol. 10 with the Yakuza plotline picking up and the convoluted feelings also growing in speed (be it overwhelming acceptance or reckless distance). Kind of how vol 5. had them coming together then Y pushing D away and vol 6. having D try to get back into Y's life and the Hirata climax with Y's final exile of D. I still think vol 10 will be the final, but is there any way vol. 9 might be longer and this all somehow wrapped up in like 2 chapters? There's no way, right? I don't know, thoughts? Estimates?

Volume 9 so far consists of ch 51, 52, 53, 54, 55 and now 56. It is possible we can get one more ch for this volume but there has been only 6 chapters so far. I definitely think that there will be at least one more volume left because nothing has been really resolved. Unless Yoneda Kou is determined to finish saezuru up in this volume which would probably require at least 5 or more chapters but it would be rushed compared to everything else in saezuru. I was hoping that Inami would be dealt with in the last few chapters since that would represent them starting to deal with the issues and conflicts they have but unfortunately he will still be around. I am also sure that she would want to move on to other mangas eventually. She has some on hiatus until saezuru is finished since saezuru has become her priority.