#sandra wilkinson

[bi4pan-polls]

Poll: Finale

[dolphelecat]

Backstage Revolve Nonsense

From Chris Leask’s London Theatre Direct Instagram takeover

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

i love it when women

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

anyway here’s my cornley polytechnic drama society into the woods fancast because I think it’s the perfect sort of show for them to fuck up 👍

jonathan plays the baker, alongside sandra as the baker’s wife. I imagine this is shortly enough after peter pan that they’re still very bitter at one another. said bitterness absolutely shows onstage, but it fits the characters perfectly and the audience ends up thinking that they’ve just finally gotten good at acting. jonathan brings a homemade “medieval feast” to celebrate opening night and it poisons the entire cast

annie plays the witch. this was the only casting decision that was unanimously regarded as good until chris let it slip that he’d ultimately done it because she was “the loudest singer.” robert took great offense at this and, despite having no interest in the part before, began campaigning to play the witch instead. it did not work. annie’s witch costume has two layers to make the quickchange at the end of act 1 easier, but the top layer keeps falling off before the reveal is supposed to happen. her magic staff is supposed to emit a smoke effect but it keeps malfunctioning, and at a certain point she just gives up and tapes lit cigarettes (stolen from trevor) to it. this goes about as well as you’d think

dennis plays the narrator. everyone had assumed it’d be an easy role for him since he could just read all of his lines off his book prop, but this is proven wrong near instantly when he starts genuinely reading the book instead. when dennis actually does start reading from the script, it becomes immediately clear that he somehow has the director’s copy and the entirety of the rehearsal notes are read out loud, including several deeply personal things that chris has written in his script for convenience

dennis also plays the mysterious man, but he keeps forgetting which way he’s supposed to be related to the baker. over the course of the show he goes from father, to son, to brother, to father again, to distant cousin, to grandmother

chris plays cinderella’s prince, alongside robert as rapunzel’s prince. they spend the entire show trying to out-act one another, and it goes without saying that this ends up a complete disaster. robert makes any moment into an unplanned duet to try and prove that he could have succeeded in seducing the baker’s wife. chris shows up at rapunzel’s tower and attempts to choke robert out with her wig. they get in an opt-up battle at the end of agony (reprise) that ends with robert singing a note so high it shatters a stage light

in accordance with typical into the woods casting, chris also plays the wolf. he orders a very expensive “wolf suit” online from someone he thinks is a bespoke costume artist. it doesn’t arrive until opening day, and it becomes immediately clear that what chris has actually bought is a full on fursuit. it’s very hard to see in and he keeps running into the fake trees

robert is double cast as milky white. there is no practical reason for this whatsoever, as milky white could’ve just as easily been a puppet or some kind of cutout on wheels, and it’s very obvious the whole thing is just a power move on chris’ part. during the scene where milky white is meant to “eat” the props, vanessa misunderstands and literally feeds them to him. he chips a tooth on cinderella’s shoe

due to a lack of numbers, vanessa is playing both cinderella and rapunzel. her costume is split down the middle, and due to this she can only face in one direction as each part. this means that half of the time she’s facing away from whoever she’s talking to, and that she frequently has to walk/run backwards without turning her head at all. whenever cinderella and rapunzel talk to each other she faces straight forward. the break-off mechanism in rapunzel’s side of the wig doesn’t work (sandra ends up stealing a single, barely visible hair), so she’s also constantly tripping on her hair

max, being in a new relationship with sandra, desperately wanted to play alongside her as the baker so that they could kiss onstage. unfortunately for him, he is playing jack instead. although this is maybe the single most-fitting role he’s ever been cast in and he’s genuinely giving a great performance, the opportunity is ruined by his having to do every scene accompanied by robert’s milky white

lucy was supposed to play little red, but was pulled from the production the day before opening by her parents, who have banned her from performing with “robert’s troupe” after what happened in peter pan

consequently, little red is now being played by trevor, who is wearing a costume far, far too small for him. trevor manages to get away with reading his lines off papers pinned to the inside of his cloak, but he doesn’t know any of the songs, so sandra has to sing them offstage for him while he lipsyncs

all of the ensemble characters are played by a celebrity “guest” frantically switching between various comically large hats. chris tried to get francis back for this part but after some careful deliberation he determined that it would genuinely be easier to kidnap a famous person than to get francis to come back after the disaster that was peter pan. the tension is only worsened when, via a botched music cue, it’s revealed that francis is now an active member of trevor’s metal band

the giant was supposed to have been played by trevor via voiceover from the sound booth, but now that he’s onstage playing little red the part is left to approximately four members of the run crew who are desperately trying and failing to say the lines in unison. lucy breaks into the theatre sometime during the baker’s wife search sequence and takes over the giant’s part the next time she’s on, much to trevor’s dismay

the worst fuck-up award goes to annie, for accidentally knocking the supports out from under dennis’ narrator platform during last midnight and triggering a chain reaction in which every fake tree onstage topples each other one by one like some terrible, life-threatening game of dominos. honorable mention goes to chris for spending $6000 of max’s inheritance on a custom costume without actually seeing it at any point during the process

the worst injury award goes to max, for getting his circulation cut off and almost losing a hand after his arm got stuck inside the golden hen puppet midway through act 2. honorable mention goes once again to chris, who got stabbed with a bunch of glass shards when robert broke that stage light

[fallulahballulah]

Yes there are two for the last one, I couldn’t decide which I liked better. But anyway, it’s getting late and I thought these were funny

[personinthepalace]

from Mischief's instagram

[insomniac4000]

Me to the person who cancelled the goes wrong show

[enter-drfrog]

CPDS as quotes from my theatre department’s discord pt. 2

“PLEASE let me finish my map game” -Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway

“Take your bread you small Victorian children!” -Chris Bean spoken with the utmost disgust (I can’t really explain why)

“Give me $2 and I will remove your eyes” -Trevor Watson

“They’re spy cars. They’re cars that are spies! They’re fucking spies!!!” -Max Bennett arguing why Cars 2 is the best Cars movie

“Which just goes to show, you can’t stop gay” -Annie Twilloil

“Twat…slut…..fuckkk youuuu” -Trevor playing mario kart

*cackling* “…….boinking…..” -Max Bennett

“Were you used for emo diversity?” -Jonathan Harris (directed at Trevor)

“If you do that in my ear I’m gonna stick my hand down your throat” -Robert Grove

“Why do we have animals in the house? You’re a sheep! What are you doing!?” -Chris Bean (this feels like every interaction he’s ever had with Dennis)

“I was victimizing people” -Robert Grove

“I didn’t know this girl was gay! I thought she was a dancer!” -Sandra Wilkinson (I can’t really explain why, but she’s definitely talking about Vanessa)

“Sometimes mouth say word brain don’t mean” -Annie Twilloil (this is just because of her former techie energy)

“He turned the shower on!” -Chris Bean “Yeah he’s just thirsty” -Max Bennett (about Dennis)

“I’m proud to admit it. I would suck down a grape Fanta” -Annie Twilloil (again it’s the former techie energy)

“Bubble solution? What’s the bubble problem?” -Max Bennett

“I’m asexual, not BLIND” -Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway (I feel like she gives ace energy)

“I love gay. I love pirates. Put them together. I love gay pirates” -Chris Bean

“I wouldn’t have sex with a wolf if that’s what you’re asking” -Trevor Watson (techie energy again)

“Okay, this is where I have to jump in. I’ve been listening to you talking about fucking wolves for five minutes. That’s what I woke up to” -Jonathan Harris (I can’t explain why he's involved in this convo)

“Did you guys know the Statue of Liberty is like really sexy?” -Sandra Wilkinson

“What’s it like being you?” -Robert Grove (about Dennis)

“My feet have touched the floor since I was eight years old” -Chris Bean (he’s such a tall willowy man)

Part 1

[bowling-with-ham]

i don’t know what blog to put goes wrong stuff on but. mock-up of a cornley au where it’s kind of a herman’s head and/or an inside out with trevor as the one whose head it is

[emiko-matsui]

sandra wilkinson and max bennett: the king and queen of mugging

[natashasbitxh]

Finally got to see Peter Pan Goes Wrong in West End with Charlie Russell, Matthew Cavendish, Greg Tannahill, Matthew Howell, Harry Kershaw, Clark Devlin, Jamie Birkett, Chris Leask, Ellie Morris, and Jean-Luke Worrell! They were all amazing, I thought I'd share some of my fav bits! (Warning: There's a lot)

• Firstly, programme stuff: the note from the director basically just being Chris and Trevor arguing like a married couple. Chris being too scientific and Trevor having to remind him it's supposed to be festive.

● Them leaving a note asking if anybody was a flying operator as they didn't currently have one😭

• Robert leaving the children of the Cornley Youth Theatre abandoned in a forest with limited food and knives,to prepare for their performance of Lord of the Flies. NSPCC and police had to intervene, 2 of the children are still missing today (Ben McIntyre and Sarah Cordell)

• Jonathon's interview where's he's practically begging the interviewer to take note he was 'fashionably late', when he was actually waiting for 6 hours.

• Jonathon saying (in the interview), he's been focusing on humanitarian work, such as adopting a child from Ethiopia and a child from Vietnam. And then the interviewer just replied with "That is Brad Pitt. Everything you have just said is about Brad Pitt and not yourself."

• In the cast section, Chris Bean writing "I would like to remind my father that there is a spare ticket at the box office for him if he chooses to show up." That's so sad😭

• Trevor's section ended with "trevorzbeatz/YouTube.co.uk" 😭

• Pip (assistant stage manager) just says: "They call me Big Pip up north. Trevor's cousin. Out and about and that. Nice one." Like okay yh me too Big Pip

• They tried to feed the crocodile an alarm clock😭 (RIP Nadia tho😔)

• Annie left a little note saying she's "looking for a man" and then there's some description of what she's (not) looking for

• A page saying welcome to the theatre, but it is still very much in character😭 "Director Chris Bean always fulfils his promise of giving us a show we will remember for a very long time."

•Pre-show antics: one of the assistant stage managers (I'm gonna guess Pip? Not too sure tho) was walking around looking for a hammer. I noticed that he'd act like he was looking around and then when he spotted a child he'd go and ask them. I thought that was cute🥹

• I couldn't see the wires going through the audience cause I had seats up high, but I did see Robert pulling the end of the wire whilst on stage with the help of an audience member

• Dennis was late I think, ran across the stage from the audience with a bag on

• Lucy suddenly ran off stage, Robert not far behind shouting things like "You have to do it!" (And then later on she ran back on stage,but it seemed Robert got caught up in a convo)

• Now onto the actual show, I thought Dennis singing les mis due to his headgear was pretty funny seeing as les mis was about a door or 2 down

• At one point we were clapping for something (can't remember what, but it was during the beginning Darling Family scene), and Max joined in with the clapping. Sandra had to tell him to stop with a pointed glare and a lil hand gesture

• Every appearance with Robert as the shadow was amazing, I know it's simple but I'm always impressed with the rug pull and the way he lands

• During the bit where there's too much smoke and it engulfs the pirates, Trevor comes to the rescue but does hit Chris in the arse by accident, christrev anybody?

• I will forever love Robert trying to get Dennis to pick up the sword, Dennis picking up the boat paddle and Robert going on a rant about how he's been moving his arms for the past 5 mins why would he need the paddle

• During the interval the lights would still go out occasionally, fun touch

• As Jonathan flew up before crashing down, a banner fell down with Robert holding a bean, a reference of his show Jack and the bean

• Before this, I'd only seen the BBC recorded version of Peter Pan Goes Wrong, so I rlly enjoyed the changes. Such as the mermaids, but I RLLY laughed at Robert being the Mr Bumble in Oliver that killed a child. Especially when he went to be Peter Pan before starting to sing 'Food, Glorious Food"

• The whole poison bit was incredible, Harry's improv was on FIRE. We obvs did the traditional pantomime business which made Chris mad, he very much gave teacher vibes as he sat down on the set and said it was our own time we were wasting. He also complained that this was only the matinée and they still had an evening performance to get to. Then he pointed out how somebody in the audience was hissing, "Nobody goes to a show and says 'Yeah it was good but the person in the fourth row wouldn't stop hissing'" (this resulted in a lot of children hissing whenever he appeared on stage). Then when it got to the poison bit, a child was yelling at him to hurry up, causing Chris to go on a rant about how he didn't even want children there, sitting there on their booster seats. After the child yelled at him multiple times, Chris gave up and told the child to open it for him, which they did. Then as he was leaving, we were booing again and he was like "NO NO DONT BOO ME, IT WAS THE CHILD THAT POISIONED HIM." Then as he exited, he said something along the lines of "blame the child murderer." It was insane.

• Then, when Peter asked who would try to poison him, Tink/Annie pointed at the child that opened the bottle. I think Chris Leask actually had to turn his head downwards and to the side to hide his laughing.

• I've pointed this out before, but I'm so endeared with how worried Chris was when Annie was unconscious. HE KNEELED THERE HOVERING OVER HER BODY JUST LIKE TOUCHING HER FACE, NOT SPEAKING FOR AWHILE. Adorable. Every characters reaction was adorable...sorry Annie

• I just have to say Francis' Cabaret performance to distract us from Annie was amazing. Loved the audience clapping along as well and the rest of the cast looking absolutely shocked and confused

• I loved that we heard a whole marriage fall apart through Dennis' headgear. I want to know more abt them, the husband that took over to help Dennis sounded sweet

• When Lucy slid down the ship in her wheelchair she was flung out and then caught by Trevor in a sort of bear hug, Lucy's legs wrapped around his torso. Trevor was SEVERELY judging the cast HE WAS NOT HAPPY WITH THEM. They're besties ur honour, I thought it was so cute

• Loved Francis' Cabaret performance again during the big fight scene with the set moving.

• Trevor saying something like "You've got to be joking" when Lucy picked up the book 😭

• I wanted to scream laugh at Chris lying in the bed like an ill victorian child as Lucy closed up the story, and then Dennis choosing to lie on the squished bottom bunk

• As Lucy continued to read, Chris, Sandra, Trevor, Dennis, and Max were all checking up on one another in the background. Hugs, shoulder grabs. Guys, I love Sandra and Chris' dynamic so much, Sandra was making sure he got off the bed alright and then gave him a hug

• Of course the whole end song, Max as the crocodile encouraging us to clap

It was so amazing, everybody was fantastic!! My jaw still aches from laughing so hard! Hope ppl found this interesting cause I always love when other ppl share what happened during their show😭

[bi4pan-polls]

Poll: Round 4 #1

Image ID in Alt text*

[dolphelecat]

Do you also need headphones?

From Chris Leask’s London Theatre Direct Instagram takeover

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

is this anything

[styx-the-stick]

the cornley brainrot has a chokehold on me so introducing: my headcanons about the cornley polytechnic drama society's identities

annie is genderfluid and a lesbian

trevor is trans and gay (same w tessa)

chris is demiromantic, graysexual and gay

sandra and max are both bi

Jonathan is omnisexual

Vanessa is pan and demiromantic

dennis is aroace

Robert is pan

[personinthepalace]

Peter Pan Goes Wrong UK Tour: Before and After the Show

from Clare Noy's tiktok