#sans likes to poke at his lil bro when he's protected

[twentydaysofdrabbles]

The Concierge’s Day Off - ...And... (Part 32)

True to Sans’ word, the food is good. Better than good, even. Though by habit, you test it for poisons. 

Touch lips, stop. Touch tongue, stop. Chew, stop. Swallow, stop.

No tingling or numbing sensations outside that of heat and spice. No sense of wrongness, or the heavy taste of magic. 

Safe. And delicious.

“good, right?” Sans rumbles at you, halfway through his spaghetti. “boss knows what he’s doin’.” Though his crimson eye lights gleam at you, like he knew what you were doing. You suppose monsters might not have much use for poison, but among humans it’s exceedingly popular.

You nod in response, a soft sound of satisfaction coming from your throat as you take another bite. 

The peace doesn’t last very long, however. You’re only maybe halfway through your lasagna when someone comes in through the door. You flick your attention to them, your face still forward, your eyes to the side slightly so you can look at them out of your peripheral vision. 

Purpose. Intent. On a mission. No weapons in hand, one on hip. Smartly dressed, fedora hat. Monster. 

Sans is unbothered, not even looking at the newcomer. 

Not hostile. 

You don’t relax, but you certainly don’t gear up for a fight. 

“Sans,” they say, a little out of breath as they come up to the table. Ah, a more masculine voice. ‘He’ perhaps, until you find out otherwise. “We got ‘em.”

The skeleton monster grins wider at the news. He leans back in his seat, waves the...underling away. “Be there in a moment,” he drawls, licking across his teeth in a familiar gesture, with a familiar look. “Just let me finish my dinner first.”

You had continued to eat as if nothing had happened, patting at your lip with your napkin. “If you need to go, please don’t let me stop you.” You’re almost done with your meal anyway.

Rather than run off, Sans just leers at you. As he does, you place that familiar look - bloodlust. He polishes off the rest of his spaghetti, pats his teeth clean with his napkin, and purrs, “oh sweetheart, it’s going to be dinner and a show.”

You can only guess what this ‘show’ is. If it’s connected to the information he had bought and the phone call...

Well. You’d never wish a long, painful death on anyone.

Inclining your head, you take a sip of water. “I see.” 

Sans seems to wait for you to say something more. He waits but a moment more before he asks, “wanna go see a show, sweetheart?”

A pause. You could benefit a lot from going with him - inner operations, at the very least interrogation techniques. At the cost of watching someone you know die. 

Well, it’s not as if you were overly familiar with the Lieutenant; even if you did some contract work for her a long time ago. 

The Manager would like to know any intelligence you can bring back.

So you nod, taking another sip of water. “I would enjoy that, Mister Sans.”

Sans groans playfully, slouching in his seat. “i’ll get ya ta drop the ‘mister’ in public soon, sweetcheeks.”

A smile threatens to tip your lips up. “You may try, Mister Sans.”

“SANS, STOP ANNOYING THE CONCIERGE.”

The almost smile on your face drops immediately and you look up with dead eyes towards the towering skeleton chef. “Mister Papyrus.”

“CONCIERGE,” he tips his head at you, then gestures at your clean plate. “I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR MEAL.”

“I did. It was delicious, thank you.” You incline your head in kind. 

“hey, not gonna ask me if i enjoyed my meal?” 

Papyrus growls and turns his blood red pips for eye lights on his brother, his sockets narrowed dangerously. “I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIKED IT OR NOT, AS LONG AS YOU FINISHED IT. NOW, WHAT’S THIS ABOUT A ‘SHOW’?” 

Sans shrugs, downing the rest of his drink. “wanna come with?”

“YOU’RE NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION, BONEHEAD.”

As much as you’re enjoying their banter, you’re not sure anyone else in the restaurant is. Particularly since Papyrus is so very, very loud. 

“what, you feelin’ like a third wheel?”

“MY GOOD FOR NOTHING BROTHER, YOU WILL EXPLAIN THIS ‘SHOW’ TO ME RIGHT THIS MOMENT OR--”

“you don’t have ta worry ‘bout stealin’ the spotlight. ‘m sure sweetheart only has eyes fer me.”

“SANS--”

“gotta give ya props though, sweetheart’s a right catch.”

“STOP--”

“welp, this situation is theatre-iorating quickly.”

A low growl precedes the summoning of a big, red bone, big as a club and no doubt as lethal. It smashes on the table between you and Sans, and by perhaps the precision of a man who knows how to use his weapon of choice, the bone doesn’t even come close to grazing your legs. Sans’, on the other hand, have to move swiftly out of the way before Papyrus shatters them just like he did the table.

“I WILL END YOU.”

“if ya wanted an encore, ya should’ve just said.”

A truly disgusted scream can be heard from outside the restaurant.

[chrissyutimagines]

7. You have a familiar which has the personality of your soulmate and is identical to your soulmate’s familiar in every way (appearance) with Classic Sans and female SO for the soulmate prompts?

Alright! I've got an idea for this. Some info, familiars are made of magic, an' is basically the same as a monster. So they understand what ppl say (can't talk tho), anything they eat becomes magic (aka no waste), but still needs to be cleaned (like showered, but they generally like showers as they are like monsters). Also, they can change their size and is very light. And they will want to follow their loyals everywhere.

Also, this will be written just a lil different from my usual style, it'll shift POVs. If you see a line of '-' you'll know that the POV has changed. It will only switch in between Classic's and the Reader's POV. Settings will be on the surface if not specified.

Waking up with a yawn, you look down at the fluffy white, cyan blue striped cat in your arms. The cat is not your pet, it's your familiar, and great company.

Checking the time, you realized that you had woken up earlier than your alarm. Yawning again, you decide to get prepared for work, and maybe spend the extra time petting your sweet fluffy cat. You put your hand on his body and gently smoothed out his fur, massaging it in a waking motion, just the way he likes it.

He yawns a bit and mews in protest for being waken up at an earlier hour than usual.

"Come on sweetie. I need to get ready for work, and I will be appreciated if you can leave the room for a bit." He gives you a shit-eating grin.

"No, you can't stay here. You perv. Just leave for a bit. Then when we go get breakfast, I'll get you some bacon and ketchup, ok?" His fuzzy face lights up immediately at the word 'ketchup' and promptly jumps off the bed and scurries off to the living room.

You sigh, a soft smile on your face. He's just too cute. Changing into your work clothes, you open the door to see your familiar sitting in front of the door, the tip of his tail batting the ground happily at the sight of you. You smile and kneel down, opening your arms knowingly. Being the lazy cat he is, he jumps right into your arms and curls into a comfortable position. You chuckle.

"You lazy kitty. I'll put you on the dining table alright?" He mews.

"I'll take that as a yes."

You get to the kitchen and put him on the table before making breakfast. When breakfast is ready, you put it all on one plate and grabbed the ketchup bottle, pouring a generous amount on another plate, then placed the bottle back. Putting it all on the dining table, you glanced at your cat, who apparently fell asleep while you were making breakfast.

"Wake up cutie, breakfast is done."

And he shots up, typical.

He doesn't seem to like using a pet bowl, or another plate, choosing to just snatch a piece of bacon or egg out of your plate instead. He also has a weird obsession with ketchup... Well, that probably means your soulmate likes ketchup since the kitty in front of you has the personality of your soulmate.

You continue to eat your breakfast, your kitty snatching one or two pieces of bacon and egg every now and then. Finishing up breakfast, you wash the dishes and put them away. Checking the time, you realize that you need to get going right now if you don't want to be late for work.

"Come on sweetie. Hop in." You open your work bag and your familiar jumps in, making himself small enough to fit into the bag then curling up for another nap.

"Lazy kitty." You mumble with a smile.

You got to work on time and sat down at your desk and opened up your bag. Your kitty hops out, and made himself big again, then hops on your lap, sitting down and started watching you work.

He often does this, just sitting in your lap and watching you. Nuzzling you every time you get a little bit too stressed, and helping you grab a box of juice or a bottle of water whenever you need it. Your colleagues are quite surprised to see a cat familiar coming to the tea room and mewing at the fridge until someone opens it and gives him a drink to fetch back to his loyal at first, but then got used to it, and often teases you that your cat takes better care of you than yourself.

Though what they didn't know, was that your beloved kitty and you take care of each other, you often soothe your kitty when he wakes up in the middle of the night by a nightmare, helping him through the traumatic situation...

Stop thinking, (Y/N). You need to work. You told yourself as you start working.

----------------------------------------------------

Sans was woken up by his sweet cat familiar licking his cheek.

"Alright, alright, I'm awake, I'm awake."

He chuckles at the cute kitty staring at him with its tongue still sticking out. His familiar is a sweet, caring kitty with fluffy white fur and cyan blue stripes. And is apparently an earlier bird than he is.

Looking at the clock, he notices that it's not actually really early, it was nine in the morning. Sweet kitty, he thought.

He had a nightmare last night, and his familiar had batted at his face, being careful to tuck her claws away, until he woke up. Then soothed him with nuzzles and soft licks. After she had made complete sure he was alright she curled up on his ribcage and went back to sleep. She even woke him up a bit later than usual so he can get enough sleep.

"Ya sweet lil' kitty. How does some sweet gummies sound?" Her ears perk up, the tip of her tail swishing happily.

"Well, lemme go getcha some." He snaps his fingers and his clothes change into his usual outfit. He kneels down.

"Hop in kitty." At those words, his familiar jumps into the hood of his jacket and curls up in it, her small head poking out and resting on his clavicle.

"Ya cute kitty." He says as he pets her head, feeling her lean into the touch while purring loudly.

He shortcuts to the shop, then reaches up to gently massage his familiar's head, knowing that she often gets dizzy after a shortcut. After making sure she's not dizzy anymore, he walks into the shop and buys a medium pack of fruit gummies along with some milk and ketchup. His familiar nuzzling his neck every now and then.

When he found everything he needed and reached to the cashier to check it out, the kitty resting in his hood shrunk its head back in. The cashier smiled.

"Shy familiar?" Sans chuckled.

"Yup. She's a rather shy lil' kitty."

"Aww."

After checking out his items and shortcutting back to his house, he drank his ketchup as he pets the purring cat. When she's not feeling dizzy anymore, Sans opened up the gummies and fed a few to the waiting kitty.

Cute, he thought.

----------------------------------------------------

You have finally finished work and closed off your laptop. Your familiar hops on your table and waits for you to pack up. When you're done, he shrunk himself and hops on your shoulder.

Though he is a lazy cat, he never napped when you're heading home at night. You didn't know why until someone tried to harass you. Your familiar snapped into action, jumping in front of the person, hissing and clawing the air, threatening to strike. The person took one look at the kitty before running away, afraid to get clawed by the angry cat.

You felt safe heading home with your cat perched on your shoulder ever since.

But, there are still times when the situation couldn't be solved by just your familiar by your side.

A hand grabs your wrist and pulls you into a dark alley. You fell on the ground and your familiar jumps in action, growling and clawing at your attacker.

But he just chuckled and snapped his fingers. A group of men walks out.

"Sorry, but a mere kitty cat is no match to all of us."

You whimper as you think of what would happen to you.

At that moment you suddenly heard loud mewing. Turning to the sound, you saw another cat, completely identical to yours, standing just outside of the dark alleyway.

"Ha. How's two cats going to stop us?"

Right as he said those words, a dark figure appears at the opening of the alley.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"

----------------------------------------------------

It was a beautiful night, and Sans was taking a nap. That is, before Papyrus told him to head out to buy more spaghetti. He sighs and gets up for the couch.

"Sure thing bro. Don't 'forgettii' to buy more spaghetti next time."

"NYEEEH! YOU ARE TERRIBLE SANS!"

Sans chuckles as he avoided the spoon that was thrown at him. His familiar just mews happily at the pun and hops in his hood.

Sans decided to not take a shortcut to the shop this time. And it's definitely not because he didn't want to eat his brother's cooking, nope, he loves his brother... And his cooking...

While strolling on the streets, he feels that something is a bit off, but he can't tell what it is.

Suddenly, his familiar perks up, jumps out of his hood, and scampers away.

"Hey! Where're ya going kitty? Wait up!" Sans rushes after his familiar.

She stopped right in front of an alleyway, mewing loudly. Sans catches up to her, only to hear someone's voice.

"Ha. How's two cats going to stop us?"

He got to the opening of the alley and saw a woman pressed against the wall, a cat completely identical to his familiar standing protectively in front of her, growling and clawing at the men surrounding the two.

That woman must be his soulmate! He feels an extremely strong urge to protect the helpless woman and yelled out.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"

"Who do you think you are?! A knight in shining armor?"

"Well, more like, knight in shining 'bones' but that'll do as well."

The man balls up his fists.

"You wanna fight?!" His gang all got in a fighting stance.

"Nah. But I will if you don't leave this helpless lady alone." His eyelight flickers a battle blue.

"I'll give you three seconds. One..."

Bones manifested behind him, some men looks a bit worried.

"Two..."

A few Gaster Blasters manifests beside him, and some of the thugs ran off.

"Three."

The Gaster Blasters charges up, and the rest of the gang took one look of it then ran off.

"Cowards." Sans mutters, the attacks disappearing into thin air. He extended a hand toward the tramitized woman.

"Hey, you ok?"

----------------------------------------------------

You stared at the skeletal hand of your savior, taking it. He helps you stand up.

"You, is that, your familiar?"

"Yup. Is the one protectin' ya yours?"

"M-mhm." You nod.

"Guess we're soulmates then. I'm Sans, Sans the skeleton."

"I'm (Y/N), (Y/N) the, Human?"

You both looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, before bursting out laughing.

"Hehehe. Well, I've gotta go to the shop to grab some spaghetti for my bro, wanna come with?"

"Well, I think our familiars have decided for us."

Sans turned to look at both of your kitty companions, and saw the two nuzzling and purring happily together. He turns back to you with a smile.

"Well, it seems to me, that they're gettin' quite acquainted with each other. I'm feelin' a bit left out here."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yea..."

Sans slowly wraps his arms around your waist.

"You know we should probably become friends first, and go on dates before this, right?" He gives you a cheeky grin.

"I don't think that's necessary, we're soulmates. We're meant to be. Do ya mind?"

"Well, I can't really say I do..." He leans in closer, his breath landing on your lips.

"Then would ya mind if I, kiss, ya?"

"Not rea- Mmf!"

He closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you. Your lips melded with each other, and with each passing second, the kiss became more and more passionate. When you finally pulled away, you both were panting heavily. You opened your mouth to speak, but was cut off by a small 'mew'.

You both turned to see that Sans's familiar was snuggled into your familiar's side, while your familiar looked at the both of you with a Cheshire grin.

"Oh shut up."

The both of you decided to go to the store together, stopping by your house to put your stuff down. After getting the spaghetti for Sans's brother, who you found out was called Papyrus, Sans offered to accompany you home. And, well, why would you decline a hot skeleton offering to bring you back home? When you both had to part, you exchanged phone numbers, and promised to meet up again tomorrow for a Proper date.

...you might have stolen a kiss or two before he left for real, but who can blame you for that? Both your familiars also seems reluctant to part as well, nuzzling longingly, booping their noses, and softly grooming each other till they both had to part.

But you're not too sad about it. Besides, you have found your soulmate. And a long and beautiful future awaits you.

Ok! That's a wrap! Phew! That took a while. Hope you like it!

[potterblogs-blog]

ok y'all have been sorting pjo characters into hogwarts houses which would be nice if you were doing it right

it’s great that you’re trying and all but the thing is, I find a lot of them following the same pattern:

All the demigods are automatically in Gryffindor, because they’re super brave. Octavian and Ethan Nakamura and Clarisse and all sorts of people the fandom doesn’t like are obviously in Slytherin because, you know, Slytherin is hella evil. Then we’ve got the stuck-ups in Ravenclaw and the background characters in Hufflepuff, ‘cause apparently it’s the potato House.

Since all this is hella stereotypical and not at all correct, I was like, well, what would I do? Well hERE IS THE ANSWER ASSHATS

*bill nye voice* please...cOnSiDeR tHe FoLLoWiNg

Percy is a hella Hufflepuff, no denying it, not one bit. He doesn’t care about a position or nothing, he is just a pure Hufflepuff inside and out.

Let’s talk about some major Hufflepuff qualities here:

• Dedication (yo my boy percy is pretty dedicated to the camp and to staying alive am i right i mean he was literally not at all tempted to join kronos’ army like ever soo yeah. also. consider a thing. have u even read the books. if they are a smol bean and he has met them at least 15 mins ago u bet ur lil ass he’s dedicated)

• Patience (percy has not decapitated a SINGLE god on purpose and they all keep coming back, i mean it’s bound to happen someday but CMON YOU GOTTA ADMIRE HIM FOR THAT. literally so patient. even by ADHD standards and its ok u can ask me i have ADHD but that’s beside the point back to percy now)

• Loyalty (it’s his freaking fatal flaw wtf else do you want from him??? to jump into tartarus out of loyalty to his girlfriend??? you do one wrong thing to percy’s friend and he will mESS UP YOUR SHIT LIKE A TRUE HUFFLEPUFF DON’T EVEN PRETEND HE WON’T. remember nancy? I THOUGHT SO. FIRST FEW PAGES OF THE SERIES. AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER)

THAT BEING SAID: ALL THESE THINGS ARE DEF PRETTY IMPORTANT TO PERCY OKAY

Conclusion: HELGA HUFFLEPUFF IS HAPPY THAT SHE HAS SUCH A HELLA HUFFLEPUFF IN HER HOUSE WHERE HE BELONGS.

Don’t try to tell me my girl Annabeth is a Ravenclaw because she ain’t no Ravenclaw get outta my face and let me lay down some FACTS here

LOOK AT THESE SLYTHERIN/ANNABAE TRAITS

• Cunning (we all know what this means so lemme just throw down some hella rad SYNONYMS because those are just the bOMB DIGGITY: we got crafting, scheming, designing, and calculating rn. YOU KNOW WHO IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS? MY GIRL ANNIE. FIGHT ME. I GOT ANNABETH ON MY TEAM AND SHE WILL SLAY YOU WITH HER CLEVERNESS AND DECEIT BEFORE SHE EVEN TAKES OUT HER DAGGER. SHE TRICKED ARACHNE INTO WEAVING HER OWN DEATH TRAP FOR ZEUS’ SAKE)

• Resourcefulness (lil bby annabeth ran away from home in SAN FRANCISCO when she was SEVEN and met luke and thalia in RICHMOND which is in VIRGINIA. SHE WAS SEVEN AND SOMEHOW WENT FROM THE WEST COAST TO THE EAST COAST. GOTTA BE RESOURCEFUL FOR THAT. also remember that time when she broke her ankle, scolded it, then made a cast out of bUBBLE WRAP? BECAUSE I DO. AND THEN THE WHOLE WEAVING A BRIDGE THING. DANG GIRL.)

• Ambition (don’t deny it this girl’s fatal flaw is pride and those two things are connected aS SHIT. SHE’S SO INTENT ON BEING AN ARCHITECT THAT SHE GOT THE GODS TO GIVE HER A JOB REDESIGNING MOUNT OLYMPUS AND THATS A BIG ASS THING IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. reminder that this girl had the chance to get away from a sphinx but she challenged it instead because it was sorta insulting?? who else do we know is like this?? oh yeah fUCKIGN SLYTHERINS)

ANNABETH BAMF CHASE HAS ALL THESE QUALITIES AND SHE KNOWS IT. THAT’S WHY SHE USES THEM TO HER ADVANTAGE SO OFTEN.

Conclusion: SALAZAR SLYTHERIN SAYS ANNABETH CHASE CAN SLAY HIS BASILISK ANYTIME THAT’S HOW PERFECT SHE IS FOR THIS HOUSE.

LEMME TALK TO YOU ABOUT A THING HERE. A BIG THING. AN IMPORTANT THING. JASON IS A RAD LIL RAVENCLAW BOOGER AND HERE’S WHY. THERE ARE A WHOLE LOTTA RAVENCLAW TRAITS BUT IMMA GIVE YOU 3.

• Wisdom (yeah annabeth’s mom may be the goddess of wisdom but if jason wasn’t wise then how the heckity heck would he have survived long enough to be made a freaking PRAETOR. also you know what fight me. jason is the equivalent of a giant dog that is a floofer and goes boof and loves small children but that has nothing to do with wisdom anyway he is one of the smartest out of the seven)

• Individuality (yeah that’s a thing go ask my girl JK. if jason isn’t so Original™ then explain to me please how he restored the Fifth Cohort to awesomeness?? he was a total badass who didn’t take any shit and turned it around for the whole cohort that’s how. this lil boi is an individual yis. one might ask how can one be a badass but also be a fluffball? well jason did it so stop asking ok)

• Acceptance (we are talking about the official mom friend and the founder of the nico di angelo protection squad what else do you want him to do, hug mother earth??? he wrote the song you’ve got a friend in me because he loves everyone)

SEE HERE: JASON IS A TOTAL DORK NERD WHO POKES PIPER AND GOES “PIPER. PIPER LISTEN TO THIS THING I FOUND OUT TODAY. PIPER ISN’T IT AWESOME”

Conclusion: NOWHERE ELSE IS WHERE JASON GOES. HE WEARS THE RAVENCLAW DIADEM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES. FIGHT ME. ALSO THE GREY LADY BC HE MAKES HER COOKIES AND SHE LOVES IT EVEN THOUGH SHE’S DEAD AND CAN’T EAT THEM.

Consider yourself a thing. Consider all of the Gryffindor Piper things. JUST CONSIDER THEM.

• Recklessness (subtle reminder that Piper used her charmspeak to fuckign steal stuff even though she knew she would get caught. also consider yourself some other things. remember when she anNIHILATED A FRICKIN GODDESS WITH HER IMPULSIVENESS BECAUSE YES. remember when she and anniebell had to do the thing with the stuff that was all about feelings and shit but lil orphan annie over there was totally lost and all like “this is hella illogical” and pipes was just all “we just gotta dO THE THING ANNABETH” and it was total badassery bc it’s the reason i live)

• Bravery (this girl went on her first quest like a week after she found out she was a demigod and would probably die a painful death bUT DID SHE STUTTER?? nah. REMEMBER WHEN SHE SCREAMED AT A CROWD OF ANGRY ROMAN CHILDREN WHO WANTED MURDER BECAUSE JASON GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK AND SHE HAD TO PROTECT HIM??? BRAVE. went on her first quest knowing that her dad was probably gonna die and did all the things to make the giants angry and plan a rescue??? BRAVE AF.)

• Chivalry (HELLA amazing friend because she’s just sO GENUINE AND KIND and you know that if someone hurts you she will CUT THEM WITH HER SUPER BADASS KNIFE THAT GIVES PEOPLE NIGHTMARES. stands by jason ALL THE TIME especially when he needs her and actually everyone can count on her for all of the things.)

SO: IF YOU DON’T THINK PIPER IS HELLA BRAVE THEN YOU ARE VERY WRONG MY DEAR FRIEND.

Conclusion: Piper would have defeated Voldemort by year 2 but sadly she was not the chosen one. GODRIC GRYFFINDOR SAYS HER FACE SHOULD BE PERMANENTLY ENGRAVED ON HIS SWORD SO THAT THE LAST THING THEIR ENEMIES SEE IS THE CUTE AND UNFORGIVING FACE OF PIPER MCLEAN.

On the subject of Leo: This child is a Ravenclaw through and through no evidence needed but jUST IN CASE I WILL TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE STUFF.

• Creativity (we are talking about a smol bean who makes tiny helicopters and stuff that actually works WHEN HE IS NOT EVEN LOOKING AT WHAT HE IS DOING OR PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO IT. remember how this child saw a terrifying bronze dragon that everyone had tried and failed to tame and just went “sweet, imma grab that so we can ride off into the Canadian sunset”??? yeahp. remember when apollo needed a thing so he just casually freaking iNVENTED A BRAND NEW INSTRUMENT LIKE IT WAS NBD??? I DO. BADASS)

• Originality (leo practically becomes famous for his abilities to come up with plans that are so ridiculously original that nobody figures out what’s happening before it’s too late and if that’s not good enough for you then idk what is. allow me to raise you the cyclops incident, right next to the robot eidolons thing plus that whole fiasco where he fuckign died, also did i mention the valdezinator or the fact that he was the only person to ever figure out how to return to ogygia?? this kid is a mechanical engineer already and he’s 16 im pretty sure baby eight year old leo sat through calculus classes at a local college and got the best grades tbh)

• Wit (leo is the master of comebacks and rash two-minute ideas that actually end up working like damn son this is a purebred Ravenclaw right here lemme just appreciate this. also hey remember that time where he got launched off of a flying ship and was hurtling downwards at a very alarming rate because you know that’s what happens when you fall and he literally actually built himself a working helicopter so that he wouldn’t die all while free falling from probably at least a few thousand feet in the air like damn son)

AS A FOOTNOTE: LEO CAN RIVAL ANNABETH IN KNOWLEDGE I MEAN HE IS A MECHANICAL ENGINEER WHAT MORE DO YOU ASK FOR

Conclusion: Leo and Jason share the diadem. Leo gets it on mondays, wednesdays and fridays and Jason gets to wear it on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays and on sundays they surrender it to the marble bust of Rowena Ravenclaw in the Ravenclaw Tower who says that LEO DESERVES TO BE IN RAVENCLAW EVEN MORE SO THAN YOUR AVERAGE STUDENT COME AT ME BRO

ok well hazel is somehow both my child and my mom so I’m not exactly sure how that works but anyway hERE ARE ALL THE REASONS THAT HAZEL IS A BEAUTIFUL, BADASS SLYTHERIN.

• Cunning (hey y'all remember that time with the cliff and the turtle and the feet?? terrifying huh?? yeah girl slay!! hazel will trick you and manipulate you and you won’t have any idea it’s happening until you’re being gobbled up by your own gargantuan pet sea turtle. Slytherins are also known for achieving their ends in any and all ways and all i could think of was how my child actually literally fuckign died so that she could stop the rise of acelonywhatever and the whole time she was 13 and staring death and gaea right in the frickin face and she didn’t give any shits at all)

• Resourcefulness (let’s talk about that time when hazel was “captured” by the amazons and basically had nothing so she did the only logical thing which was drown them in massive piles of jewelry from the warehouse and make them beg for mercy, also there was this horse thing that nobody could touch and she just casually goes “oh just a sec lemme summon a giant gold nugget that was probably at least a mile into the dirt because how else would it be this big” and he loves her and she rides him into victory. did i mention that hazel is my mom?? this is just one (1) of the sUPER RAD RESOURCEFUL THINGS that hazel manages to pull off)

• Ambition (hazel both believes and knows for a fact that she can literally do all of the things and she never once doubts herself like at all because she is AMAZEBALLS LIKE THAT. SHE WAS 13 AND THE AMAZONS WERE ALL LIKE “DANG GIRL WE WANT YOU ON OUR TEAM” and she was like “i got this huge to-do list but nbd i’ll get her done” like she is pURE CONFIDENCE AND. YES)

Also: SHE’S TOTALLY SUPER COOL WITH ALL THE THINGS AND IS NEVER FAZED. THAT IS MY GIRL.

Conclusion: HAZEL LEVESQUE IS SLYTHERIN AF AND WILL ALWAYS ACHIEVE HER ENDS NO MATTER HOW MANY GIANT SEA TURTLES SHE HAS TO FEED YOU TO. SALAZAR SLYTHERIN FRICKIN APPROVES AND THINKS THAT SHE IS JUST AS TERRIFYING AS ANNABETH.

Not gonna deny that my lil noob Frankie's a tRUE PURE-HEARTED GRYFFINDOR. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD AGREE WITH ME.

• Chivalry (WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A CHILD WHO WILL TRIP OVER HIS OWN FEET AND PUNCH HIMSELF IN THE FACE IF IT MEANS HE’S SHOWING RESPECT TO YOU. my dude doesn’t care who you are, he will literally always show you respect until he’s given a reason not to. everything he eVER DOES is because he’s PROTECTING SOMEONE or he’s GETTING A LIL BIT OF PAYBACK and if that’s noT A GRYFFINDOR THING THEN DAMN SON YOU SHOULD REALLY SORT OUT YOUR PRIORITIES)

• Bravery (if you’re going to come into mY HOUSE and tell me that FRANK ZHANG ISN’T BRAVE then feel free to hit yourself in the face with a hammer because guess what losers?? this kid loses his mom and then his gma just goes “oh by the way you’re half god and you have a gift that you need to figure out for yourself and also here’s this piece of wood, don’t burn it or else you will actually die, now go with this pack of fuckign wolves to camp so that monsters won’t attack you and you won’t die, plus when you get there you have to beg forgiveness for this thing that your great grandfather did or else they might literally murder you. have fun” and frankie just rOLLS WITH IT AND KICKS ASS WHILE BEING A CUTE LIL CHUBBY BUNNY. LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT HOW HE COMPLETELY OBLITERATED A WHOLE CITY’S WORTH OF MONSTERS to appease a stupid ass god and save nico and hazel from being forever plants and he gets back and trippy is absolutely terrified of him because omg he’s glowing red and he actually did the thing and oh also he kind of scared me so much that i sort of forgot i was a god and had power over him)

• Nerve (let me repeat how FRANK ENOUGH NERVE TO THREATEN A GOD WITHOUT EVEN THINKING OF THE CONSEQUENCES. I’M SO DONE WITH THIS. THIS IS MY SHIT THANKS. PLS APPRECIATE FRANKIE YOURE ALL BREAKING MY HEART. Also remember how he entrusted his real actual lifeline to somebody who wasn’t him like daaang boi that is so pure)

Additionally: FRANK ZHANG IS THE REASON I AM ALIVE AND WELL. ALSO REMEMBER HOW HE BECAME PRAETOR?? I DO BELIEVE THAT IS THE MOST BADASS WAY ANYONE HAS EVER BECOME PRAETOR PLEASE AND THANKS

Conclusion: GODRIC GRYFFINDOR CRIED WHEN FRANK WAS SORTED INTO HIS HOUSE. GODRIC DOESN’T THINK HE EVEN DESERVES FRANK. FRANK CAN HAVE 4 OF HIS SWORDS.

THIS HAS BEEN A THING. A THING WITH HOUSES AND PJO. I HOPE THIS WAS ENTERTAINING AT LEAST. THANK YOU KINDLY.