So here we have a women's soccer stroy for the Euros! Please tell me if you liked it, I have no idea what the women's football fanbase is like around here...
The Fox and The Gamma Ray
“Wendie!” Sara Gama called through the hall. While her team had just lost to France 5-1, she couldn’t pass up the chance to talk to her old friend, Wendeline Renard, before the two captains got busy captaining their respective teams. The only problem was, she couldn’t find the defender anywhere.
“Sly as a fox,” Gama couldn’t help but chuckle to herself as she left the press conference room without as much as a hair from Renard. Gama often called the Frenchwoman “the fox”, and, in turn, Renard would call her “the gamma ray”.
“If you’re on the ceiling, you know I’m coming after you, right?” Gama yelled at nobody in particular. “And I’m not your coach, so I actually have a chance of succeeding!”
But there was no reply.
Renard wasn’t giving a press conference, Gama realized, not anywhere. She always showered before addressing the rest of her team, but she couldn’t hear any running water and besides, the Frenchwoman would have showered already by now. Renard wasn’t in the locker room or her coach’s office, because she had checked both places.
That left only one possible place…
*
“Wendie!” Gama burst open the door of a dark, cluttered broom closet. If there was anywhere that Renard would be, it would be here. And there she was--curled into a ball?
“What are you doing here?” Gama then realized just how cold it was inside the closet. Renard was shaking--and she obviously hadn’t even changed out of her kit. That’s not like her, the Italian realized, sitting next to her on a bucket.
“Are you injured?”
A shake of the head. Renard had always been a silent sulker--but what in the world could she have been sulking about?
“Lost?”
Renard shook her head, more furiously this time. “Are you serious? Lost in a stadium?”
“Let me guess.” Gama quickly ran her mind through the game. “Blaming yourself for the one goal France conceded compared to the five they scored?”
“It’s not stupid, Sara,” Renard argued. “Every goal is important to the goal difference. I’m a defender and we conceded a goal, let me sulk for a while longer.” She then seemed to realize how ridiculous that sounded in front of a defender who had just conceded five goals. “Why aren’t you sulking, Sara?”
“Because unlike you, I actually realize that there are eleven women on the pitch for each team and that you can almost never place the blame on just one person.” Gama rolled her eyes. “And plus, we can still qualify from Group D, so you didn’t just ruin our Euros, Wendie.”
“But that’s not the point,” Renard sighed. “You guys are elite competition, y’know? People--the media--will be expecting us to thrash Belgium and Iceland. And then all the expectations will be upon us, even more than ‘it’s coming home’ England, and what if the girls just…crack? Y’know, under pressure?”
“They won’t, you’re a great captain to them!” Gama argued. “And your coach…”
“Is absolute crap at player management.”
“Well, that was…honest.”
“Hey, what do you expect? I play with Marie.”
“Anyways.” Gama pointed to her kit. “Look, Wendie. Why don’t you take a shower, and we can talk later? You’re going to catch a cold from being here, come out of the closet.”
“Um, no. What about the media?”
“Wendeline Therese Renard…”
“Fine.” Renard stood up, then extended her hand to Gama. “Could you…come with me?”
“What?”
“Please…” Renard begged, giving Gama the baby eyes. “I need you.”
“Ugh, okay. But stop looking at me like that!”
*
Renard had taken her shower (after much coaxing from Gama to go in there by herself), and now sat next to her, literally soldered to the Italian like a Sheffield blade. She still had that sad gaze in her eyes, like something (or was it somebody?) had stolen the light from them.
Now Gama was beginning to think that it wasn’t just the game.
“How’s the camp going?” Gama asked, trying to strike up a conversation with her friend for the third time. “Met anybody new?”
“No, I have better things to do.”
“Wendie, stop sulking! You just won 5-1, snap out of it!”
“Why don’t you start sulking like a regular human being who just lost 5-1, and snap into it?”
“Is that even a phrase?”
“I don’t know, do you think I grew up speaking English?”
“Yes?”
“No! I’m Martinican, you fool!”
“Whatever! And if I started sulking, you’d try everything to cheer me up, and then why would you want me to sulk in the first place?”
No answer from Renard.
“And they say men don’t communicate,” Gama grumbled. “This is ridiculous.”
“Woe is me.”
“Now you sound ridiculous,” Gama pointed out. “I wish I’d taped you saying that.”
“Whatever.” Renard took Gama’s hand, clutching it close. “Look…if I stay away from the team any longer, they’ll get worried. But…”
But you want to stay with me, Gama finished in her brain. But all she did was silently nod. “I’ll call you.”
“We can go on holiday after the Euros--if Corrine doesn’t see.”
“You’re scared of her.”
“No…okay, maybe a bit.” The defender sighed, running a hand through her hair. “It’s just that…Sarah retired because of her, y’know? And Valerie wasn’t called up this time…and what’s going to be next? The girls need me.” And she stood, finally releasing Gama’s hand. “It was nice seeing you, Sara…see you in the quarterfinals?”
“Yeah, see you then,” Gama agreed, watching Renard walk off. Her shoulders were slumped, worry writ all over her face--but she straightened up as soon as she spotted Diani approaching, plastering on a smile.
“You good, Wendie? We didn’t see you in the locker room,” Diani noted. So Gama wasn’t the only one who noticed.
“Oui, Kadi, I’m good. Let’s go down to dinner! You played very well today.”
Renard was obviously faking the cheer in her tone, and Gama made a mental note to check up on her later. Renard was an extremely compassionate leader to her troops--but with the way Corrine Diacre was, Gama feared that her friend might be biting off far more than she could chew.
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A Sweet Success
Tags: @reborn-from-your-ashes, @hello-paralyzed-world, @millythegoat
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, it gets better, Diacre bashing (lots of it)
Read these 4 so this will make sense:
The Fox With the Long Face
Chocolate-Covered Pretzels
The Fox With the Long Face
Bleu vs. Oranje
Rather than the clear, brilliant sky the city had displayed at sunset, Milton Keynes--where France and Germany had just squared off--was a storm.
Roses that had expected a clear night with a silver moon now raced to shield their delicate petals from the pouring rain.
France, heading into the game almost equal with Germany, had been well and truly beaten.
Diacre hadn’t even bothered to talk to her players. She’d quickly stormed into her office, grabbing all the instant coffee and slamming the door.
And the rest of the team?
For once, they had opted to scatter.
*
Wendie Renard laid sprawled out onto her bed, completely numb. She had no idea what to feel, or what to do. It was like the game had never happened--but every time she’d Googled the result, it showed the same thing. A 2-1 win for Germany.
A 2-1 loss for France.
A brace for Alexandra Popp, and an “own goal” from the Germany keeper (which Renard personally thought was a wonderfully goal-worthy strike from Diani).
A sure sign that Renard hadn’t been able to prevent those goals--twice.
Renard knew better than to check the news or social media. It was literally the worst thing a player could do after a bad performance--she knew that from experience.
Wait a minute. But did her teammates know that? Maybe Diani and Bathy knew, and some of the other players. But what about the younger ones?
Renard couldn’t let anything happen to them. It was bad enough that none of the media were particular France fans, or that about three-quarters of the team were either black or mixed-race. The skipper had to do something.
She hesitated for a bit before deciding that WhatsApp was the best way to reach out to the team quickly and efficiently. Upon clicking the green icon on her phone, Renard discovered--to her surprise--that she only had 1 notification--a message from Sara Gama.
thegammaray: Wendie? You awake? Sorry, I KNOW you finished at 11 in the night! 😆
wendiefox03: Well, I’m responding to your text
thegammaray: I just watched the match. Sorry about the result--you did everything you could. Even pulled a couple of Zidanes in the midfield
wendiefox03: Seriously? Marco Materazzi is retired
thegammaray: I meant some of those passes were Zidan-esque, Wendie. But really, you played well today
wendiefox03: Wish I’d stopped one of thos goals, though :(
thegammaray: You did your best. That second goal was Sakina’s fault, then Griedge’s. The first goal was just weird, no one’s fault, really. Except maybe Pauline could’ve done better.
wendiefox03: That's what I’m afraid of. What will Diacre say to those three, now that she’s got something to blame them for?
thegammaray: Wendie! For the last time, you can’t erase the fact that your team wasn’t at their best today. Even I could’ve scored some of those chances Kadi missed.
wendiefox03: Ca c’est vrais, BUT you know Corrine Diacre. She’ll go too far, and gaslight everything :( I can’t let that happen.
thegammaray: I get it.
wendiefox03: I know you do, Sara. You’re like the older sister I never had.
thegammaray: You can’t do EVERYTHING. Even if Diacre was a nice coach and didn’t micromanage you, it wouldn’t be fair for her either. You’re a team for a reason. You ALL have to support and defend each other, you can’t just do it by yourself, Wendie.
thegammaray: I know it’s hard for you. You have a point to prove.
wendiefox03: Excusez moi?
thegammaray: you’re trying to shield your teammates from Diacre, but you’re also trying to be il capitano perfetto. You’re wearing yourself thin by juggling everything so Diacre can have a reason not to drop you.
thegammaray: It’s not healthy AT ALL. I understand why you’re doing it, but this time you have to allow your teammates to help support each other, as well as you. And you all have to support each other TOGETHER.
wendiefox03: Wow, didn’t know you were so wise at midnight XD
thegammaray: Yep!
thegammaray: Nothing to see here, just a footballer with a secret double life as a therapist
wendiefox03: LOL are you trying to kill me?!
wendiefox03: OK, we just got eliminated from the Euros, but here I am die-laughing my mouth off
thegammaray: Mission accomplished, then! ✊
wendiefox03: Call me if you need therapy
wendiefox03: I might take you up on that offer, Griedge is staring at me like I just escaped from a madhouse
thegammaray: See you in the psycho ward, then
wendiefox03: yeah, as the therapist
“Wendie.” Bathy sat next to Renard, pity in her eyes. “You don’t need to pretend that you’re happy.”
“I’m not pretending! Sara decided to whip out her funny bone,” Renard explained, showing Bathy the texts. They both couldn’t help but laugh at the therapy bit.
“You’re right, she’s a good joker.” Bathy scrolled upwards and saw the texts above. “Wait, what’s this? The bit about working together?”
“Supporting each other. You know, encouragement, comfort, compassion.” Renard yawned, flopping into the pile of pillows. She would have disappeared in the sea of white if it wasn’t for her blue pajamas and the big puff of hair sticking out from the bedclothes. “I’ve gotta contact the youngsters. They have to keep off social media. It’s bad for their pretzels.”
“What?” Bathy chuckled, grabbing a throw pillow. “Wendie, you sure you shouldn’t go to sleep?”
“Huh?”
“You said social media is bad for the youngster’s pretzels,” Bathy repeated, muffling her laughter with the comforter.
“Oh God, did I? I meant to say it’s bad for their brains.” Renard picked up her phone, but then Bathy swiped it out of her hand.
“Hey!” In an instant Renard shot up, gaping at Bathy’s strange move. “What are you doing, Griedge?”
“Texting the youngsters for you.” Bathy frowned, her face illuminated by the glowing screen. “What’s your password?”
“What business of yours is it?”
“Wendie, if you text at this time, you’re going to say something stupid that you can’t take back.”
“I can notify them, it’s alright, Griedge,” Renard tried to convince her, taking back her phone to put in the password. But Bathy grabbed it as soon as Renard was done, and she refused to let go of Renard’s phone. She clicked the team group chat, typed something into it, and only shut the phone off once she hit send.
“Wendie, I’ve let you carry these burdens by yourself for too long,” Bathy explained, setting Renard’s phone on the nightstand. “I kept comforting you, but Sara’s right. It’s not enough.”
“What do you mean?” Renard yawned, suddenly realizing how sleepy she actually was. “I mean, I get the pressure, but--”
“I read what Sara said. We all need to step up and do our bit. Right now Diacre thinks she can act like this because you’re shielding all of us and wearing yourself out, but if we all stand up for each other…” Bathy laid next to Renard, pulling her braids back into a ponytail. “We could actually have a chance of getting her to reform.”
“Sounds nice.” Renard pulled on her eye mask, twisting her own hair into a bun. “You know what, Griedge, I’m beat. Let’s finish in the morning.”
“Suit yourself, marmotte.” Bathy pulled the covers over herself, getting cozy. She decided to take one last look at Renard before falling asleep, but to her amusement, her skipper was already snoring away.
“Sweet dreams,” she yawned, collapsing onto her pillow and going out like a light.
*
“Let’s go get ice cream,” Bathy decided the next morning, putting down her book. The loss was still fresh in her memory, but after some reflection, the centerback had changed her attitude. She was grateful for coming so far, further than France had ever done in a Euros. And that put Bathy into a celebratory mood.
Wendie Renard, who Bathy had been hanging out with the whole morning, eyed her with suspicion. “Are you serious, Griedge?”
“I’m dead serious, Wendie!” said Bathy. She pointed to her phone, set on Google Maps. “There’s an ice-cream parlor about twenty minutes from here. We can make a quick stop there.”
“What?!” Renard yelped, then realized how awkward that sounded. She chuckled, shaking her head. Her brown hair flew out as she did. “I mean, it’s bound to be expensive…”
“It’s not! I checked their website. They’ve got pretty good reputations.” Bathy eyed her friend suspiciously, as if Renard was trying to hide something. “Are you okay, Wendie?”
“Yeah--I mean, I’ve never been better! It’s just that…didn’t I eat a whole lot of that cake the other day?” Renard couldn’t help but smile as she thought of the restaurant she and her teammates had visited. “You know what I’m talking about, haha! Gotta watch that weight!”
“Wendeline.” Bathy sighed, running a hand through her own dark braids. “Why are you always so worried about your weight? You’re a professional athlete--a very fit and trim one. Why would some ice cream put you completely out of shape?”
“But the cake--”
“Was completely burnt off with all those minutes we played the day before.”
Renard shook her head, and Bathy internally groaned. Since they had come together for France duty, before the Euros had started, she and Diani had found that their skipper had been under a lot of stress and pressure, which she’d internalized until Diani had let the bomb loose by saying that Renard “needed therapy”--in front of the whole squad.
“Fine, I’ll admit it. The real reason I’m refusing is because…what Corrine did to Amadine.”
Ah-ha. Of course it would be Diacre. Bathy’s manager was…complex. She was a good tactian--nobody could take that away from her--but Diacre’s high expectations of her team often caused multiple conflicts and disagreements. Diacre was also ill-tempered when things went against her plans, and she would often take it out on the rest of the team. Renard, being the strong, brave captain she was, had tried to shield them from Diacre--but the stress had been getting to her lately, to the point where she’d ran away from an outing after hearing a mention of a quarterfinal.
“Wendie,” Bathy chided her, but softer this time. “Kadi and I keep telling you that you can’t change your whole life for Diacre.”
“Huh?” Renard almost jumped in her seat when Bathy announced her name. The skipper had zoned out again, another thing Bathy couldn’t help but find adorable about her.
“I said that you shouldn’t let Corrine dictate your life. Sure, she’s our head coach, but is she our boss?”
Renard shook her head--a resolute no. “You’re right, I guess. But what do we do about it now?”
Bathy rose from her seat, motioning for Renard to follow her. “Why, we get dangerous, mon cherie.”
“Why do you INSIST on calling me that?!”
*
It started with Bathy dragging Reynard into her room and pushing her friend into the shower.
“Griedge! This is your room and shower,” Renard stuttered once she realized what Bathy expected of her.
“Yes, and we’re both women here. We’ve seen each other without clothing plenty of times. Now come on! Inside!”
Renard sighed, grabbing a towel and heading into the shower. Bathy couldn’t help but chuckle as she took two gift bags from a suitcase that she’d only opened once before.
Ten minutes later, Bathy and Renard were engaged in a full-fledged war of words--over a dress.
“It’s got your name written all over it!” Bathy protested, holding up the shimmery, rose-gold dress. “And it’s your favorite color, Wendie!”
“It’s cut…awfully low in the back, isn’t it?” Renard pointed to the scoop back of the dress, made of a sheer material. “Are you sure…”
“Wendie, it’s lace on the back. It’s not that bad.” Bathy set it on the bed. “The dress will look gorgeous on you.”
“I don’t remember going dress shopping with you,” Renard joked, taking a seat on a chair and fingering the dress. “How’d you even know that it would fit?”
“I’ve seen your dress size. You know, that time we accidentally mixed up our suitcases?” Bathy reached into her suitcase and took out another, equally shimmery dress, this one in sea green. “And plus, we’ll look so great together.”
“We’re going to dress up…to get ice cream?” Renard, already halfway into the dress, stuck a hand out of a sleeve with a muffled “help!”.
Bathy, in her own tights dress but still unzippered, shook her head and went to untangle Renard’s arm from the dress. “Well, we couldn’t celebrate your birthday properly, with all that was going on. So consider this our late outing--our hangout time. You and me, and nobody else.”
“Well, that sounds good.” She finally managed to slip the garment over her trunk and refocused on tying the silken sash. “But what will we say to Diacre?”
“Here’s how it goes.” Bathy swept her braids into a high ponytail with a brush, still able to see Renard from the mirror. “We get dressed, grab our purses, and walk down the hall looking like fashionistas. Then we see Diacre and have our 15 minutes of fame.”
After buttoning and zipping and buckling, Bathy strode out of the room with her head high. After a bit of convincing, Renard emerged as well--and eight feet away from Bathy’s door, bumped into Diani. Cascarino was next to her, showing off the new embroidery on her boxing gloves.
“Okay, did I miss an invitation or something?” Diani chuckled when she spotted the pair all dressed up. “Because you two are certainly looking august today.”
Renard frowned in confusion, blowing away a stray ringlet from her face. “It’s July.”
“No, august. It’s an adjective, meaning elegant. I’ve been reading the dictionary lately,” Diani explained. “But no, where are you two going?”
“To get ice cream,” Bathy told them. “You two want to come?”
“Sure…” Cascarino glanced down the hall, in the direction of Diacre’s office. “But what about Diacre?”
“Forget about her.”
Diani and Cascarino stared at Renard in shock. For the whole tournament, Renard had been afraid of Diacre--and now this?
“We’re grown women, adults. If we want to dress up and grab some ice cream, that’s our choice.” Renard spoke with resolute certainty, and even a hint of anger. “It’s not against the rules, and it’s not going to risk our lives. And if Diacre doesn’t see that, she can go choke on an escargot.”
“What did you say to her last night?” Diani whispered to Bathy, shocked at Renard’s newfound confidence.
“You go, girl!” Karchaoui cheered, approaching them with Katoto. Apparently, they had been there the whole time. “We’re coming along, and like you, I’m not going to care about what that grumpy old tortoise says!”
“Alright, then,” Renard agreed. “Get dressed and meet us outside. Sakina will be driving.”
“WHAT?!” four horrified voices exclaimed at the same time.
“Just kidding!” Renard laughed. “I’m driving.”
*
The group was halfway towards the door when they bumped into Corrine Diacre, their coach. She still didn’t seem any happier than she was last night--but her jaw dropped open when she saw the six dressed up, coiffed and heading out the door.
“Renard!” She marched up to Reyardt like she was the only one in the room, even though the rest of their team was behind her. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like she’s doing?!” Karchaoui snapped back. She was wearing a sunset orange dress, and her handbag swung from her arm as she placed her hands on her hips. “Going out with us, that’s what!”
“Sakina…” Renard stepped in front of Karchaoui, facing Diacre. “But she’s right, Diacre. We’re going out to get some ice cream. We don’t have training or anything, so I thought that we should enjoy it.”
“Wendie…” Bathy was surprised, to say the least, at Renard’s statement. The skipper wasn’t usually one to take credit for others’ ideas.
“I know, Griedge,” Renard whispered, still facing Diacre.
“What have I told you about leaving the camp 24 hours after a game?” Diacre snapped. “Not to do it! What about the paparazzi?”
“We can deal with paparazzi.” Renard rolled her eyes. “We’re grown women, adults. We can survive on our own.”
Diacre shook her head, crossing her arms. “Look. I’m just trying to protect you girls. You don’t know what’s there--”
“If you were trying to protect us, you would at least try to make the environment pleasant.” Renard spoke quietly but firmly, and Bathy smiled at seeing some of Renard’s old conviction return to her, the self-assurance and bravery that had been robbed from her by the national team they all loved so much.
“Because of you, Melvine has been pressured to be a substitute Marie,” Renard went on, her hands balling into fists. “Because of you, Kadi’s struggled with her form, and you don’t even care enough to help her find out why. Sandy’s been having nightmares of you dropping her from the squad, and do you know where she’s been going? Moi.”
“Because you’re being a complete idiot for opening your heart too much,” said Diacre. “Now everybody’s coming to you, and you’re facing the consequences.”
“They’re coming to me, because they have to!” Renard shouted, pointing to the picture hanging on the wall. It showed the coaching staff, all smiling for the camera in front of their home base in France. “Except you, all the coaching staff are men. That just doesn’t work. What we all need is a woman. We need a mother figure, right here. And since you downright refuse to even be halfway pleasant, as the captain and the oldest on the team I have been the one.”
“And that’s what a captain is supposed to do. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do.” Diacre tried to push Renard away, but then somebody else stepped up. It was Pauline Peyraud-Magnin--and for the first time since arriving at the France camp, the goalkeeper was absolutely livid.
“You know what? You’re right.” Peyraud-Magnin let out a bitter chuckle as she stood between Renard and Diacre. “Wendie has been doing what a captain is supposed to do. She’s been strong, and selfless, and a good example. And she’s so much more--but you’re taking that away from her.”
“Pauline, I must go sort out the files--”
“NO.” Peyraud-Magnin didn’t move an inch, continuing to stand in front of her manager. “If you had enough time to fight with Wendie and try and prevent the others from going out, then you have enough time to listen to me.”
“I have appointments to attend--”
“My ex-partner died,” the goalkeeper went on, refusing to flinch. “It was all over the news, and you didn’t even do a single thing about it. Marie got an injury that would keep her out for months, and you never offered any support.”
“Pauline Peyraud-Magnin, you get out of my face right now--”
“At night, I stay up late because of insomnia, caused by nerves. So I hear everything.” Peyraud-Magnin stepped aside so Diacre could see the six women facing them. “At night, I hear Delphine, punching the mattress in her room to vent her frustration. I hear Sakina singing Nana Mouskouri at the top of her lungs to drown out her own negative thoughts. I hear Marie’s swear yoga, which doesn’t have anything to do with this, but I thought I’d just mention that. And I hear Wendie’s door opening and closing every single night. Everybody goes and knocks there--including myself.”
“But--”
“NO buts. Wendie’s had a diary to vent into for three weeks and it’s already filled. She paces around the halls at night, Diacre, late at night. I can always hear her stuttering and stumbling, muttering and mumbling. She carries those little sandtimers from the hotel bedrooms with her so she calm herself before she breaks down in the middle of the hall.” As if to prove it, Peyraud-Magnin held up the tiny plastic sandtimer for everybody to see. “That shouldn’t happen.”
“Pauline’s right.” Cascarino stepped up, her lavender dress sashaying along with her. “We can’t go on like this, we can’t let any of us have to go through this. When Pogba broke up with Wendie, we all promised never to let each other get hurt like this again.” She exchanged glances with the rest of the team. “But it did happen, and since it did, we’re going to help each other out of this.”
“We can’t fire you,” said Bathy, approaching Diacre. “But what we will do is withdraw to survive. Until you shape up, consider the privileges of us confiding in you gone.”
Renard nodded. She and Bathy had talked about their plan that morning. “We’re a bunch of footballers, with experience and teammates. And if one of us can find an answer out of somebody we know, there’s always other people than you we can talk to. So the only person really missing anything is you.”
“Y-you can’t do this.” Diacre tried to sound imposing, but Bathy’s earlier analysis was proving to be right. When she was facing a stressed-out and tired Renard, Diacre could push her around. But against multiple members of the team, the coach was powerless.
“We’re required to follow your tactics, Diacre. There’s nothing in the rules that says that we must confide in you.” Renard shouldered her bag. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re leaving camp. All of us.”
“That’s right!” Bathy motioned for the rest of the team to come with her. “Pack your bags, everybody!”
“All of you?!” Diacre screeched. “Why?!”
“We told you already, Diacre. The environment here is toxic, and it’s affecting all of us.” Renard’s voice dropped as the others filtered through the halls and up to their rooms. “I hope you think about this, Diacre. And can I give you some advice?”
Too stunned by the sudden turn of the tables, Diacre just nodded, gaping at the empty hall. Only her and Renard were left there.
“We have a month and a half until we meet again, to qualify for the World Cup. So seize the moment, Diacre.” Renard took Diacre’s hand, and for the first time she saw what seemed like regret in the manager’s eyes. “It’s never too late to change.”
“But Wendie!”
“I hope you think about this, Diacre. See you in six weeks.”
And Renard turned away, walking out of Diacre’s sight.
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