#say wolfwood has feelings for vash i would believe it. literally this reads like a shoujo manga what.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 3 Pt. 2

Oh boy. So this might be a little silly but I can't stop thinking about the face. I want to give my own interpretation of it because I did notice something earlier on that I think gives it a bit of context.

Yes, it's this face.

Ok. First off, this is undoubtedly a fond look. Unbearably fond, if you ask me. His eye is dark; there's no fear, shock, or feelings of being unsettled. There should be no contention at this point - he cares about Vash.

But the actual feelings expressed by this face are mixed. If you hold up your hand to cover the left side of his face, you'll find a closed eye and a smile. Cover the right side and you'll see an open, half-lidded eye and a small frown. The overall effect is conflicting.

All throughout this volume, Wolfwood has been struggling to come to terms with what Vash is, how he can have seemingly no survival instinct (which directly challenges his worldview), and, importantly, the concept of immortality.

We can split up this immortality concept into two types of immortality. The first is immortality of the self - that runs directly counter to the survival instinct that comprises much of the core of his worldview, and so entities that seem to display proof of immortality are unsettling to him (even more so in Vash's case, since somehow his pacifism survived all this time...).

Immortality of the self is disturbing yet possible to Wolfwood. It is something he can prove through mounting evidence and disprove with a gun. And to have Luida tell him that Vash's use of his immortality is not for healing or fixing himself but purely for others - that's important, because up until that point, Wolfwood had done mental gymnastics to convince himself that Vash could afford to jump into danger because of his immortality, something Vash even refuted earlier ("I don't do this for fun, you know.").

But Wolfwood is not fully convinced until he sees Vash's smile again.

Their entire dynamic started off with Wolfwood immediately noticing Vash's smile hides his pain - but what he's now realizing is that Vash's smile helps him move forwards in spite of the pain too. It's not a mask, it's his armour. It's his way of shielding himself in the same uncaring world they all inhabit. Vash's decision to choose kindness over and over then, isn't because his immortality means he can, but because it is necessary for his survival. It's not a whim, it's something he believes in. These are his ideals. They're genuine.

That's worth the right side's smile. He may still not understand what Vash is - but who he is, as a person, is rather straightforward.

And now, for the other type of immortality - immortality of ideals. Unfortunately, there is no wavering on this front, because there is no way to definitively prove that an ideal will survive, especially in a harsh world like this. Wolfwood's cynicism is on full display.

"Ya can keep on walkin' down this road 'til ya bite the dust. Nothin' will change."

To Wolfwood, ideals can never be immortal, not in a world like this. Vash's efforts seem fundamentally hopeless to a man with no hope.

And so, the left side of the expression; that bittersweet frown. Being unsure of Vash's intentions in the Ninelives scene, Wolfwood is able to appear rather darkly satisfied - he understands a truth of the world that Vash (apparently) does not. He's "won" the argument against Vash's apparently incomprehensible foolishness. Except then he comes to understand that Vash is genuine in his intentions and in his kindness, that he needs to believe in it himself, and suddenly there is no deriving any of this cynical satisfaction anymore.

Wolfwood is still convinced he's right, but now, that takes on a more tragic context.

Vash is good. His ideals are good. And, according to Wolfwood, nothing good lasts.

To me, this bittersweet expression reads as fondness from Wolfwood for Vash, for his kindness and persistence in the face of everything... but it's complicated by the certainty, in his eyes, that eventually, these ideals will die, either when he inevitably succumbs to the world's cruelty, or, what's seeming more likely at this point, when Vash dies himself.

Wolfwood has been sticking around closely with Vash. He might have to watch this happen. He doesn't want to watch this happen. But he thinks it's inevitable. Kind things don't grow.

...or I may just be dramatic and reading into it too much. But that's what I got from it.

[carulenes]

an analysis of wolfwood’s characterization in trigun stampede as well as his connection to vash (+ why i believe he’s likely much older than we think)

okay i’ve been thinking abt this since eps 10 or 11 were released (this show became my special interest the second it dropped if i'm being completely honest) but its been scratching at my brain ever since i read the sakuracon radio interview and since i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this yet i figured i may as well because it’s clear they really did pull very extensively from the manga and i really am loving how they adapted his character. also i occasionally keep seeing the “tristamp wolfwood is a kid/is 14-15” takes which i need to at least try to help put to rest bc they make no sense given his other iterations and would actively make the story worse.

a quick tldr of my main points before i get on my very long winded soapbox:

wolfwood in trigun stampede has been used as an undying, unkillable soldier by the eye of michael for decades.

rollo as a character, as opposed to monev the gale, was designed specifically as a metaphor for wolfwood’s backstory.

wolfwood and vash are written to be literal complements to one another.

I literally don’t think I have the space to talk abt all my thoughts, and ofc these are all my personal thoughts so any and all of what i’m saying could be wrong, but direct analysis of eps 4-7 (as I think they’re the most important) and discussion of his trajectory in general under the cut (obvious spoilers for the show but also the manga as well as tw: discussions of suicide/suicidal ideation as well as the general tw list for the show's graphic content):

Starting first with a side point that Wolfwood was never a child at any point he was with Vash during thecourse of the story, including the manga. He has always been a man in his 20s, with trimax ww having the appearance of being in his 30s or 40s. It is absolutely crucial to his and Vash’s characterizations, as well as their entire dynamic together, that Wolfwood is an adult. Could make an entire separate post about this, but I feel like starting here is important.

Onto the sakuracon japan radio interview. The team gave a LOT of interesting insight into the development of the show, but one specific point stood out to me:

This is important, because I definitely missed it during the show’s initial run, but I think it’s REALLY obvious once you know what you’re looking for, and is a big factor in why I think he’s likely older than we realized.

————

EP 4: These are the very first lines that are said about him in the show, and the very first time we see him, he is absolutely exhausted:

We know that at this point, Wolfwood is likely on his way to Jeneora Rock to meet up with Vash to fulfill his contract...until Vash and co. quite literally slam into him (and his life) unexpectedly, nearly killing him with their van. He probably should’ve died except… he’s on his feet almost instantly, able to walk perfectly fine and being a jackass as though he didn’t get launched halfway across the desert by a moving vehicle. Which is… odd, naturally.

When they try to find help and instead find the dead couple, he specifically mentions that he isn't a priest like he's been in other iterations. He's now an undertaker, someone meant to guide others through their deaths:

His personality is hard to tap down. He's goofy and childish and downright unlikeable, and there's a hint of something lurking deeper, something menacing and potentially dangerous. So much so that Roberto is on edge the entire time their group is together after being swallowed by the Grand Worm, and flat out tells Vash that Wolfwood is untrustworthy and likely an assassin, "a man who can kill with a smile on his face". And Vash’s response is… really fucking weird, given how long the two have known each other:

not to mention he's wearing sunglasses Wolfwood is rightfully very ??? in response because, what the fuck is he talking about, and why is he so genuine about it, they just met???

Fast forward to a bit later, when Wolfwood is like "hey man, you really shouldn't be so trusting. I could've shot you in the back several times now." To which Vash is like "but you didn't, though." And Wolfwood is even more confused because is this guy stupid???

And then it's time for the final act: Wolfwood reveals his Punisher, destroying the Grand Worm while giving the illusion of taking out Zazie as well. Meryl was informed by someone that Wolfwood had been the one to save them all, but when she tries to thank him, he immediately shifts the subject, being annoying and arguably completely unlikeable. Roberto points out that Wolfwood had lied about who he was, trying to get Vash to realize that he still can't be trusted, and again Vash shoots it down: "We're alive because of him."

Wolfwood showed his role as the Punisher without hesitation, and not only was Vash not really phased by it, but he actually seemed to be inspired by him, stopping his self-destructive tendencies and even repeating his own words back to him. And that's the moment we finally learn his name in the show:

But then, almost immediately, we have a complete reversal of his scene with Vash in the Worm. It’s also of note that Zazie always specifically says human lives:

————

EP 5: One of the most important episodes in this discussion, and it starts with the name alone, "Child of Blessing". Here’s a very general summary:

A young boy in a much less than ideal living situation is chosen to be 'a blessing upon the world through his sacrifice', which turns out to secretly be mutilative experimentation on children in search of a subject compatible with a mysterious medicine that can heal any injury. The meds warp him, morph him into something that doesn't even appear to be human. He tries to return home, but his mother, the only family he knows and loves, is terrified of him. She calls him a monster, and the boy finds himself struggling to articulate who he is. Then, he wanders alone alone without purpose in that unchanging altered body, a body that can withstand lethal amounts of damage directly because of the meds, for at least 20 years. All he has is a single name: Vash the Stampede, the person who promised to save him, and the one person who managed to bring back his consciousness in the end, if only for a moment.

The moment Nicholas sees Rollo regenerate is the second the switch flips. He instantly demands to know what the fuck is up with him, and when Vash responds telling him that he was too late to give him the medicine he needed, Wolfwood shuts down, because he recognizes himself. From this moment until the rest of the episode, we are no longer seeing Nicholas D. Wolfwood; we're seeing Nicholas the Punisher.

Vash continues to push Rollo to remember who he is, while Nicholas continuously says that there's no way to save him, that he's already a monster now. In the final moments, Nicholas inevitably feels tasked with Rollo's death like the undertaker he is, and when Vash angrily demands to know why he took the shot, his response is:

When discussing Rollo's killer, Elendira refers to Nicholas by name, but Conrad specifically states that no, he is the Punisher.

In vol 10 of the manga, Vash thinks to himself: “I met a strange man. Just as I thought we had come to an understanding, I found that our core beliefs were opposed to each other. I was used to such situations, but I wonder how he felt.”

————

EP 6: This episode builds directly upon the foundations set by the episode prior. Child of Blessing ended with Rollo being referred to repeatedly as a monster, and this episode begins with Nicholas in the middle of completing a kill. Right before he does, his victim gets one final glance at his assailant, an inhuman looking executioner, and calls him a monster… directly because he will not die. He’s also been shown knocking back meds like tequila shots in tristamp, which we all know was NOT possible in the manga. During the flashback scene, Nicholas is literally called the Child of Blessing.

We see a very similar sequence with Nicholas that we saw with Rollo; the horrific torture, the bodily mutilation (during which Conrad specifically mentions that the drug will heal all damage done the body, as well as rebuild and strengthen the cells), and the attempt to return home:

Something different happens with Nicholas, though. Nicholas can't go home; he’s literally yanked away from his chance at freedom by Legato. Nicholas can’t go home, likely ever again in his mind, because Hopeland Orphanage and the Eye of Michael represent two fundamentally different ideals.

Hopeland (and thus Livio) is exactly like its name for Nicholas: it is is land of hope, the only place in the world where Wolfwood was allowed to exist freely. When Nicholas was taken by EoM, Wolfwood began to die.

The entirety of the EoM is shrouded in imagery of death and rebirth, specifically in regards to humanity. Humanity in this case has a dual meaning: humanity as a species, and humanity as a concept. Their philosophy is that the end justifies the means in that humans in this form will be preserved and would likely live exceedingly longer lives but, as repeatedly mentioned, there are side effects.

Aging and death are integral parts of the human experience, the two aspects of life that we ALL experience regardless of circumstance. Can you be human without humanity?

The message behind these two episodes is to show that the process of becoming part of the EoM is a metaphorical crucifixion symbolizing the death of one’s humanity. And Nicholas is interesting, because he’s almost the perfect specimen in their eyes and is treated as such. Almost. The only thing holding him back are the two strands of humanity he has left, both which are nearly destroyed in the very next episode.

————

EP 7: In the previous episode, during the animated flashback of Nicholas and Livio, we see a few scattered scenes of other people living at the orphanage. Interestingly, while almost all of the children are seen with very sparse detail (or even none really at all), there is one person, the caretaker, whose face we get a pretty clear picture of. At the very beginning of this episode, we have the first and only shot of the inside of the orphanage in the usual style. While none of the children are familiar and actually aren’t incredibly distinguishable from one another, there is one figure in the room with recognizable hair, but looks considerably older than in the flashback:

During the majority of their interactions, you don’t see Nicholas and Livio interacting with any of the other children. They are simply a background, a set piece to the story and a representation of just how other they were forced to become.

This episode features them fighting each other, dealing each other what should be mortal wounds, but somehow remain standing, as though they’re perfectly fine. As if on cue, the soldiers stationed call them both monsters and run away in fear.

But Vash doesn’t run from the danger. He runs towards it.

Nicholas tries to stop him, and all he gets in return is “he’s important to you, isn’t he?” as though that’s enough. But it is enough for Vash. And Nicholas doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nicholas comes dangerously close to giving up, to giving into his role as the Punisher and killing the last bit of Wolfwood to do so, but it’s Vash who stops him. He diverts his shot and, instead of hurting Livio, literally frees Nicholas from Legato and Zazie’s trap. Vash tells him to make him remember, and Nicholas thinks it’s bullshit… until he doesn’t.

And when he finally relents, when he tries to emulate what the silly blonde idiot keeps screaming at him about… It works. For a moment, but Livio does wake up for a moment. Nicholas hadn’t been able to see Rollo, but he did see this. And he really doesn’t know what to do about it.

To drive the point home, Livio drives a bullet into his own head and falls to the ground in a scene very reminiscent of Rollo’s death… but is implied to still be alive. With him saved, now it’s time for Hopeland. And this is when the narrative really turns a focus to the balance between Nicholas and Vash.

The group is half convinced that they’re about to die snd that the town will be destroyed when, all of a sudden, it’s Nicholas who’s yelling that they have to do something. Because despite all the noise Nicholas makes about self-sacrifice and calling Vash a weirdo, he’s directly inspired by his energy, which is proven correct when Vash is the first one to side with him.

Then, somehow despite the odds, the two of them manage to work together to stop the ion cannon. Which should have been impossible. And because of this, Nicholas is finally willing to give Vash the chance to take the lead on things.

When Vash and Wolfwood discuss their plan to save Hopeland, and after they argue about which method is the correct one, the conversation they have is probably the clearest depiction of Nicholas’ inner struggle:

Nicholas: Have it your way. Just for today. I do owe you one… but if the orphanage doesn’t survive this, I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll wish you were dead before I kill you.

Vash: Wolfwood…

Nicholas: Shut up! I’m the Punisher! I’m not like you… I’m Nicholas the Punisher…

He murmurs the last line as though he’s trying to convince himself. He uses his persona as the Punisher almost like a mask, like a cat puffing up and hissing to deter predators. It’s a defense mechanism, and a trauma response. Except.. it still doesn’t work, because the entire time Vash is simply not listening. Regardless of what Nicholas says, Vash does not stop fighting Nicholas on the title that was forced on him by the EoM and, in fact, blatantly rejects it. And the moment Nicholas finishes speaking, when he declares himself to be the Punisher, the episode’s title card finally appears: Wolfwood.

It's a direct representation of this panel of Nicholas' inner monologue from the manga:

——

Nicholas and Vash’s roles as each other’s complements is emphasized very deliberately when the two work to stop the sand steamer from smashing into Hopeland. These screenshots occur one directly after the other:

Another detail the team mentioned often during the interview was attention to use of color. In color theory, blue and orange are complementary colors: hues that are opposite each other on the color wheel but, when used together, come together to create harmony and balance. Additionally, Vash is the character typically associated with warm hues, while Nicholas is paired with colder ones; with the colors flipped, it’s almost as if they are literally mirror images of each other.

The two are in the same position, in the middle of similar actions, both drawing strength from that which makes them “other” in order to work together to protect a common goal. And once again, miraculously, they succeed, able to do together what neither could ever have done together.

This mirror motif is even clearer when comparing these respective scenes from each of their respective backstory episodes:

For Nicholas and Vash, on top of sharing such a crucial common thread in their backstories, often in the show they are seen together, either side by side or back to back. Often they’re shown doing the same thing at the same time, almost as though they’re moving as one. And they consistently save each other over and over again, with Nicholas acting to save Vash physically, and Vash working to protect Nicholas’ psyche. Vash refuses to let anyone continue to see themselves as a monster, as lesser than, in much the same way Nicholas refuses to let anyone else be used as one.

They are a pair, a unit working together to create a force that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

They are both “other”, they are both different, and they both seek to protect the things they love and care about despite the excruciating pain it can put them through.

Nicholas and Vash’s entite dynamic is basically “I don’t understand you, but I recognize you. I recognize myself in you. And somehow, that’s enough for me to trust you.”

————

So with all this in mind, here is how I’ve come to understand Nicholas’ arc throughout tristamp:

When we first meet Nicholas D. Wolfwood we meet a weary man longing for death to save him, longing to be free from the purposelessness of his life but knowing the hope is futile. He works for the Eye of Michael as an assassin against his will and has for God knows how long. Not only is he no longer a priest, but he’s no longer religious at all, having no belief in God at all and a particular disdain for the false promises and hopes of salvation that are portrayed by it. He doesn’t care about the clothes he wears, whether he looks messy, whether it’s suited for the desert, because he literally doesn’t care about anything, really. He has no home, and can never go back to the orphanage— there’s likely no one left there that he knows anyway, and even of there were, they wouldn’t recognize the monster he’s become. Nicholas is tired, he’s angry, he’s potentially depressed. He fights impractically, sometimes leaving himself open to attacks he could probably block with his Punisher, but he just doesn’t care. He’s just here to do his job, which is to escort his piece of shit CEO’s assumedly equally piece of shit brother to him so they can destroy the world together and he can hopefully die off in peace.

Until he actually meets Vash, and he’s… really fucking weird. He’s dumb and naive and acts like he knows Nicholas on some deep level after they’ve just met, but… he’s not a bad guy. Just another crybaby who doesn’t understand the world. He can see the Punisher and not be frightened by it. That means something, means enough that he feels that he can introduce himself now. He still doesn’t know how to handle kindness, so he deflects whenever it’s shown to him, making irreverent jokes and being annoying in order push people away. But then he meets Rollo and has a flashback to himself. He learns that Vash is no stranger to false promises, has sold the same thing to the kid who ended up just like him, and yeah, Vash is no better than the EoM. He talks a big game but doesn’t actually know anything. Nicholas kills Rollo out of mercy because it’s what he wishes could be done to him; every day of living his life is torture.

But then his hometown and childhood best friend are suddenly in danger. He’d completely forgotten what it felt like to have something to lose, to protect. And without planning for it, Vash also becomes something to protect, because even if he doesn’t act like it, Nicholas desperately wants to believe in him. He doesn’t want the EoM to be right. But the feeling of having something to protect is terrifying, because it means you have something to lose. Nicholas gets incredibly stressed out by this, because it’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember what it feels like. But it’s enough to get him, for likely the first time in a very long time, to hope. And it’s Vash who helps him so that he’s able to hang on to that hope for a little while longer.

He still can’t get too excited, because he hasn’t actually finished his job yet. Before he does, though, he sees Vash’s scars (which was a deliberate choice, as in both the manga AND the og anime this scene went to the girls) and wow, if it weren’t for the regenerative properties of the drug, he would likely look the same. He drops Vash off with Knives and knows that Vash will likely be killed, but he’s also expecting to die himself in the fallout, so it doesn’t matter, really. Except for some reason, it does a bit. And then, yet again, Vash miraculously doesn’t die, and in fact changes the game and actually looks like he might stand a chance against Knives, and is clearly willing to die to do it.

And then July is destroyed. But, miraculously, Nicholas isn’t dead. He still finished the contract, but now… now what?

The show began with Nicholas at his lowest, and ends with Vash at his lowest point. And Nicholas owes him one.

————

INCREDIBLY long story short, it really is clear that they weren’t kidding, the team really drew SO MUCH inspiration from the themes trimax it’s unbelievable and I really really think we’re in for something incredible during the second phase. I also think it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.

[kakubun]

noooo! don't turn me into a marketable plushie!!

about: trigun guys with a reader who likes to make plushies

a/n: tiny vash (this is also short cause i was impatient to post this limau (lmao) )

pairings: vash x reader, wolfwood x reader

vash

best believe he does a little squel when he sees your works

he ADORES all of the little animal, fruit, veggie, whatever you make plushies you make and squeezes the living hell out of it in excitement

if you like gift giving, he will gladly show it off, keeping them on his bags as keychains, putting it on his table, hell even on his ears if he wants to feel silly

he's also the type to send those good morning messages with the small plush that you made sitting right next to his plate of eggs and bacon

and when you make a tiny version of him, he thinks he died and went to heaven (not literally though i haven't read the manga bro isn't dead right)

it is the most cutest fcking thing he has ever seen in his life, you even got down to the shade of his hair and coat!

for funsies, you would defitenely make his gun and he would scream if you added something that could make tiny him hold it

he would hug you and the plushie at the same time to thank you

he will cherish this gift forever

just know if anybody ever sees it and mskes fun of it, he'll just say that they don't have a wonderful, most coolest person to make plushies for them and fake cries to make fun of them and run off to giggle

gives it silly nicknames like vashie or vash the junior

wolfwood

would grip the ever living shit out of your plushies as if they'll respond

he thinks it's a cute hobby (and that you're cute too

i see him as a guy who just fucks with it, you do you

would buy you materials if you ever run out and you would panic every single time if you think you're running out but a new fresh batch (the exact same colour too!) would pop up in your sewing basket!

he doesn't admit this though, he thinks he's slick

he keeps some in his pockets and gives them to children if they're in need of a small companion/ cheer them up

very much suprising you when kids come at your doorstep to thank you for the plushies and they would grin in thanks

but his favourite one is the tiny version of him, how adorable

he places it into his pocket like it was his kid and brings it everywhere, so if he ever wants to pull out a cigeratte to smoke, he would always have to push away tiny him deeper into his pocket to get at his box of cigerattes

calls it little guy

knives

he doesn't have a need of plushies, it clogs up his space, he finds it useless

second chill guy? he doesn't care at all of what you do and he doesn't bother with your gifts, keeping it into a basket at first

until you made effort in creating a tiny version of himself to which he scoffs in amusement

and hey!! there's detachable blade coils, isn't that fun???!?!?

you have to look at him closely for a reaction, just a tense constipated look of focus on what you've done, intricate details of his suit means he kinda likes it (he doesn't want to admit he finds this action cute whether friend or spouse, it was nice to receive something that was really worked hard on especially when it was him, literally)

there was also a slight twitch of his lips, a quick lift at the end like he wanted to smile but he didn't want to give you the pleasure

(he find your methaphorical droppy ears on your head funny, what a meanie)

he keeps it on his piano, although he finds it bothersome when it falls face flat because of the piano's vibrations or his tiny him blade coils making it heavy on the back, he still likes keeping it close

he goes through that same basket of what you sewed for him and gradually the plushies you thought he threw/dump it elsewhere were now popping up in every corner of the house as decoration (atleast there was some use..? right?)

vash calls it little nai (knives doesn't do nicknames)

[hikennosabo]

trimax vol 10 random thoughts (ch 1-4)

usually my method for writing these posts is to read the volume in full, then read it again while writing out my thoughts. sometimes i have to read a volume more than just twice. i don't want to read this one again... mom come pick me up i'm scared

also it's finally gotten to the point that i have to split this post up into multiple parts... lol

why is nightow recycling chapter titles. or is this a translation thing? we already had chapters titled 'wolfwood' (vol2ch4) and 'death omen' (vol6ch4)... heck, the first 'wolfwood'-titled chapter is DIRECTLY REFERENCED in this very volume... anyway.

chapter 1:

this chapter cover FUCKS... it's just the punishers because this is all razlo is... a weapon. to chapel, anyway.

the bullet holes in ww's back... they've healed by now i think, but still, it's so visceral...

i don't know what to say about wolfwood's faith in vash that hasn't already been said. just. fuck, man.

can chapel die please please please please please youre nothing

razlo getting in between chapel and wolfwood is... interesting. even if he just wants to prolong ww's suffering... i don't know. it's not like razlo cares about wolfwood, but, hmmm, i don't know. just something i wanted to point out i guess.

...remind me to count how many vials wolfwood drinks when i rewatch stampede.

razlo's expressions while chapel is talking about how ww needs to die NOW while shooting him and stabbing him with the gun... hmmm... he's thinking...

chapter 2:

i like seeing razlo being pensive.

the way chapel has his talons in razlo... razlo is so loyal to him because he literally shot himself to beg for razlo's life, but this line of thinking tells me there's also lowkey fear there. the level of obsessiveness for which he injured himself so badly is the same one that makes him want to hurt wolfwood so much and razlo knows it. this is how far chapel is willing to go...

razlo... :( all he ever wanted was to be needed. and chapel fully took advantage of that.

ww is trembling here. is this him trying to physically resist chapel pushing his head back or is he trembling out of fear...

chapel is the evilest motherfucker in this whole fucking manga. seriously, fuck this guy.

melanie's words to wolfwood... despite it being a scolding, they're clearly coming from a place of love, not fear or anger. i think other people have already said everything that i could say about this. so instead i'm going to talk about razlo some more, since nightow made it a point to show us that he's listening to this.

i wonder what he's thinking... this chapter opened with him thinking about what happens to those who "betray" chapel... and he's observing this interaction, of a mother, a guardian, not reacting with anger, but with love, to seeing what's become of wolfwood. such a far cry from chapel's unbridled rage. melanie took care of razlo, too, technically. so i wonder if this is another... i don't know how to put it... another way that razlo's belief in chapel is being chipped away at.

and wolfwood thinks of vash, and once again, vash appears. like he's answering his prayer again.

i said this last volume, but i love seeing vash use his feathers to protect. and use his powers willingly. of course i worry about him when he does it, but it's just such a powerful character moment every time. because it's for wolfwood.

chapter 3:

wolfwood reaffirms his feelings about vash - absolute faith, someone he believes in and considers a friend - but doesn't understand why vash would come for him. i'm feeling some type of way. it's mutual, you fucking idiot!!!

razlo's smile is cute...

he's just excited to fight who he deems a worthy opponent... i wish the situation wasn't so dire...

^ how it feels to read trigun maximum (eating glass)

also, i need to share that when i watched stampede for the first time, this is what i said, copypasted directly from the group chat:

"as if the giant cross he carries isnt enough of a death flag on its own, the glass vials he's drinking are like. major flying high death flags."

i was thinking along the lines of "a character taking mysterious medicine is a death flag," but little did i know that the vials would literally be his cause of death. i was closer to the truth than i thought.

someone in the tag said something about ww going "catholic beast mode" and truly this is it. chapel was REALLY sent flying... fuck you fuck you fuck you you deserved that. i do feel a bit bad for razlo though.

a LOT of people have already questioned/referenced the theory that vash can literally hear ww's thoughts, but honestly i think this one is just a case of vash knowing ww so well that he understands what ww wants without doing that.

GOOD!!!!!

i actually do, truly, feel bad for razlo though. chapel was the closest thing he has to a father. thing is, chapel was just as abusive and controlling as livio's parents were. not in the exact same way, obviously, but abusive all the same. razlo has just... not been in a good situation. like, ever. he doesn't know anything else. he didn't see chapel's abuse for what it was.

*head in hands* VASHWOOD.......

they're so fucking stupid. they understand each other so well and yet so little. they can fight back-to-back seamlessly but fall so short when it comes to words. i'm going to cry.

chapter 4:

vashwood banter is back, but oh look, more dread. i've talked before about chapters that use familiar setups/scenarios but have an air of dread over them. 'colorless expression' was one. 'bastards and the blues' was another. i think this scene also falls into that.

what if i microwaved myself.

no!!! no silly expression!!! not when my heart is so full of dread!!!!

vash thinking about his feelings for wolfwood. i can't even articulate anything. i just want to cry.

"i wanted to see tomorrow with him." I WANTED. TO. SEE. TOMORROW. WITH!!! HIM!!!! i feel like shinji on the chair.

he can feel wolfwood's body dying. what if i ate rocks.

the way he clings so hard. he doesn't want to let wolfwood go, literally and figuratively.

the embrace. the hesitation. what if i ate glass.

the apology...... ww knows he's dying and he knows that vash knows. in yet another "i know he knows i know" situation. their whole fucking relationship.

i can't read this chapter without crying, fuck.

even razlo is like, "i want to fight both of you!" but even if vash joined wolfwood against razlo now, it would be too late...

i have nothing coherent to say. this post has become a record of my vashwood-induced mental breakdown, sorry. and we're only halfway through the volume...

[wander-wren]

i’m on my third rewatch of tristamp and HUNGRY! (ep4) as an episode is so so special to me. i love it so much.

first of all if you know me in any capacity you’ll understand that i am so. ack. about the inclusion of vash’s food issues as a part of the episode’s arc and not just a one-off line. we see it again in ep8. both times he refuses to eat after a disaster that nai caused (but he blames himself for). but! in episode 8 he only eats again after saving lives/proving himself useful, whereas in episode 4 he eats because wolfwood said he deserves to. indirectly. he doesn’t save anyone. he tries! he’s doing his best! but in the end it’s wolfwood who does all the work. and vash still eats. ack

but yeah i fully believe that comment to zazie, “no matter how heavy the cross is you carry, you deserve to eat. and to laugh!” is why vash later said wolfwood has “the eyes of a good guy.”

(and hey, i do think there’s some significance to him defending wolfwood specifically in the context of wolfwood offering vash food and roberto accusing him of poisoning it. just saying.)

first, the way wolfwood phrases that (especially since right before, he said to zazie “i’m like you”) makes it seem like he knows what it is to carry a (metaphorical) cross, and to feel like you don’t deserve things. so vash feels a kinship with him and admires that he’s apparently overcome that and is trying to help zazie do the same.

(now, we find out later that wolfwood already knows zazie, but i’m working with the assumption that he didn’t realize it was her yet. correct me if im wrong on that. if i am wrong i’ll be sad bc i’ll have to reevaluate a lot :(()

second, it definitely matches up with things rem and luida said about food, which boils down to “whether you choose to eat it or not it still matters that you get it, that you have that choice.” which, uh. we’re gonna unpack my own feelings on that at a later time, possibly never. but that definitely would help vash to see wolfwood as trustworthy/good.

to be clear, vash isn’t naive. from their limited interactions he can see wolfwood has some darkness to him, and he can see that he’s used to being disliked, distrusted. he doesn’t bat an eye at meryl and roberto questioning him, but he does react to vash calling him good. vash has had 150+ years to get good at reading people. wolfwood even calls him out about turning his back multiple times, calling him stupid, but rhen he proves vash right by not hurting him.

of course, there’s another layer to the whole eating thing, which is that vash might not need to eat? it’s implied that he likes food/eating in flashbacks, and we learn later that he isn’t a defective plant, he can generate things (in a way), so it would follow that he doesn’t need food??

which might seem, initially, like it lessens the impact of his disordered eating. but it doesn’t. first of all, it’s still a thing vash takes pleasure in, which he has very little of, so denying himself food as punishment is still Very Bad. but also…it’s kind of the only effective form of self-harm he has. he heals quickly and has an insane pain tolerance, and he has literally nothing to lose because he doesn’t have anything/anyone to start with. maybe he won’t starve, but that’s not the point.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 1 (Part 2)

*me rushing after the bookclub timeline* My brain does not work in summer heat!

*continues to waffle about the smallesT details* And I will only get worse, nyehehehe

Chapter 03: Bravo Girls!

Meryl!

Uh… Neither can a man?!? Karen, what kind of sexist logic do you have there? 

Everyone should be capable and independent, that’s how you avoid landing in abusive situations. (It also does not mean that you shouldn’t rely on people. That’s how communities work.) Knowing your worth and loving yourself is the key here.

Those who know, know -_-

This is the first time that Meryl got any lifesign from Vash for about 2,5 years. She must have thought he died until now. No wonder she is near tears. Her friend is alive! She must feel so relieved! Boyo survived whatever the fifth moon incident has been!

Oh, I immediately dislike Mr. Keele. Keele = Kill, did anyone else zoom in on the phonetic similarities?

Again! Mr. Keele is a tradesman! An Assassin! I didn’t imagine it! Somebody tell me that I didn’t imagine it when I said that Wolfwood literally advertises he’s a trained killer in Ultimate 2! Karen gives Meryl all the hints! “Yeah, I would not want to be there, even if I was you, with Mr. Keele being a killer. Y’know, the ex-elite-military-dude.” We see the penny drop on Meryl’s face!

This has to be one of the bigger cities, since it was build around a ship. But it looks so small. Like 1.000 people, maybe 2000 max. I read somewhere that like 20 Million humans of 100 Million survived the fall (correct me if I remember that incorrectly). But with such small settlements… I cannot believe that. There was surely a second Great Dying in the aftermath, but this… this is so small. And it is a big, well-established city. If Vash is able to run around without people realising who he is, there need to be more people for that anonymity. Big cities offer anonymity, small communities do not!

I like this shot of Vash. He looks like he is Batman, all brooding and watchful. Through that establishing shot, we, as readers, aren’t really surprised when Keele is busted immediately. How exactly, besides Vash being careful, I don’t know. Is it the body language? The way he carries himself and his weapons? Does he hear them talking at the reception desk?

I like this whole scene. Vash is not naive. He knows of the dangers, he knows he is still hunted down, even without the bounty.

Keele is ruthless! To get to his target, he is willing to kill innocents. The woman in the car is an innocent bystander. Vash needs to shield her with his body. While the other assassins until now also killed people, they didn’t use them to get to Vash. That’s a key difference and makes Keele so much more coldblooded.

How much pain tolerance has he? He is smiling and joking after it. Yes, he is showing pain, but he is more obsessed with making everything seem less dire. Of course, Wolfwood sees through it and gets help. I am not sure, he may even carry Vash, since it is highly stupid to let Vash lay there in the open with a fucking hitman on the lose. I wonder how Wolfwood feels when being confronted with that kind of hit man. While we know that Wolfwood is able to “easily” kill, he does not seem like a person who would use innocents to get to his target. He is too direct and honest for that. You could also use the word too ethical, but that is… *looks at the killer for hire part* Well, even professionals have standards?

I love Meryl’s cool speech, but… Keele was hired by her boss. Her boss would have known that Keele is a hit man. Even Karen commented on it. What does that say about her organisation as a whole? I want consequences for it! Be it structural changes or anything, but we never get any. Please, if you have something like this in the story, Nightow, please, do something with it. What are the consequences about this for Meryl and her job, what are the consequences for Milly? Do they report this? It would be in character for both of them! And if they don’t… SHOW IT TO US! PLEASE! What is their reasoning then!

I’d say, Keele is not without logic, but it is not insurance logic. It is the logic that the state works with in “The minority-report”. The idea of a self fulfilling prophecy is also present here, too. Though, it is unethical from the perspective that it infringes on the human’s agency. Another little thing that is important for me (and most likely for Meryl, too) is that Vash is not the disaster! Things happen to and around Vash, but he is not the one who decides to go bat-shit crazy, he runs, he flees and most importantly, he keeps the casualties low! There is no intent there! She would have put that in her reports! Keele didn’t care, her boss didn’t care. 

Can you punish someone for something he doesn’t do? It would be punishing his existence. 

Keele goes to threaten Meryl with a gun, intending to kill her. He is not only a hit man, he is a murderer. His reasoning is greed and covering his own tracks. You could say, in this chapter, he is somewhat the antithesis to Vash. Vash brings destruction without intent and does his best to avoid it. Keele kills for personal gain without care for anyone other than himself. Who is worse? The answer is easy, but somehow from a purely capitalistic view the insurance agency came to another result.

Meryl thinking back to what Karen said, but I don’t think she thinks about herself in that position. She thinks about Vash and how he is thrown into life threatening situations again and again (at least that is my interpretation) and how he cannot be happy like that. His smiling picture contrasts what they have been through together. Yes, it is a shitty position that Meryl finds herself in, but she chooses to stay at Vash’s side. And damn, that’s fucking nice of her. She is his friend. She is brave. And she has ethics!

Milly to the rescue! I love the whole framing of that pic. Her smile and then the close up that shows it is an angry one!

It’s subtle, but does Meryl help Keele to fly by tripping him? Her position changes so much from the former page. She looks so completely unimpressed by Keele. Also, isn’t it nice that people other than Vash get panty shots, too?

WHY?! You smoked Vash out! You followed him! You literally got into a life threatening situation! Why don’t you go to him? AHHHHHHHHHH

Gosh, Wolfwood is so petty. Yes, he keeps Vash’s ethical standground and does not kill his fellow hitman, but Vash never said something against torture… And I didn't get why his face is so bloody, I thought that was the sauce, but no, he skitted on his face due to Milly's hit. Dayumm.

Meryl’s reasoning reads so weird. She used the vacation to look for him, but now she says that they will deal with him through work… Is it her being shy? And Keele never got busted… Nothing changed at her workplace even though it did something so unethical. I… really don’t like this plotpoint.

Chapter 04: Hero returns

Knives! My second best worstie! New readers still don’t get to know his face! Though, this is a memory from Vash. His brother is distorted to a monstrous being, inhuman with crazy eyes and a smile with so many teeth, it is a threat. Knives is not human, but Vash, his brother, is not human, too. 

“Forgetting brings too much sorrow, remembering brings everlasting pain.” That’s grief and it makes Vash's whole being. Sure, if you forget the person you lost, your pain may be gone, but you also lose what made you you. But now, every memory is tainted with the loss. Time should heal those wounds, pain becomes bearable and now painful memories become bittersweet. But I don’t think Vash ever reached that point. Rem is still a sore spot for him, he can’t even talk about her, but she haunts every step. Every scar on his body is a sacrifice to her godhood. Vash is less his own person and more a priest to her existence. While I am sad for Vash, I also feel for Rem. If she was able to know how her son idolises her to his own detriment, she would despair.

Vash having nightmares due to trauma, confirmed.

Damn, that contrast. Wolfwood, the black smudge, between all that white space and all the coffins hanging over his head. We already know that he deals with death at this point, being a gun ho gun and all that shebang, but it also evokes something claustrophobic in me. Wolfwood watching as more and more coffins -corpses- pile up, ready to crush him under their weight. And he just stands and stares.

Wolfwood, the town gossip. “Thank heaven you asked! It’s a long story, though it is kinda a short one! Anyway-” 

Eh, the town going all Montaque and Capulet, just without the lovers and more sexual assault. Kinda sad, but that is greed working. The planet truly brings out the worst of humanity. And Vash is still able to be sad about it. Because he knows humanity can be better. And Wolfwood is his bitter, contemptuous self, not without reason. I don’t see him saying that as misanthropy, though. Wolfwood said in his introduction chapter that he has an orphanage to care about. While Vash cares about the whole of humanity, Wolfwood cares for his smaller circle and he needs to stay alive to do so. He cannot allow himself the risk. 

And damn, Vash just plainly calling him out for having secrets and Wolfwood again, not denying it and just falling silent. They know. And it hurts.

Brad!

He is 17. Why do 17 year olds in manga either look kawaii or like the worst Jojo-delinquents

His hair reminds me so much of Ryu (or Josuke mixed with Jotaro)

Damn, Brad, you are such an arrogant arsehole here. Oh, yes, the people who are trying their best to survive daily on a planet that is unable to really accommodate their needs are not the nicest around… Dude, you are living at a place that guarantees that your basic needs are taken care of. Brad lived with a priviledge that other people literally would die for. I know Brad will grow on me, but damn, his introduction is always… I wanna kick him! At least you are not as bad as ‘98 Brad.

What conversation? The one about plants? The one about having to kill to protect your close ones? Are you trying to make him understand that you, Wolfwood, need to stay alive to keep the orphanage going? Or the one about you hiding stuff? Are you going to confess? Why you are here, Wolfwood? What is it? It is open to interpretation.

But I love this! This shows what a truly honest and open dude Wolfwood truly is. Yes, he goes so easily on the defensive and, damn, he speaks in absolutes and thus can be seen as condescending. But he reaches out to Vash again and again. He literally runs after him to talk! He tries to go by Vash’s rules. He didn’t kill anyone with his fucking machine gun cross, because Vash asked him to, and that is a feat in on itself.

Oh! There is a new coat in the suitcase, too! Didn’t see that in the first readthrough.

Brad: “I don’t think we have a choice, do we? Lost technology for lost technology.” I read this in my first readthrough as Vash trading stuff with the colony, most likely because I still had the scene with Kaite in my head, where Vash just pulls out a radio in the form of a pen. But now it reads as Brad putting Vash down as a plant and dehumanising him.

No! Vash, you are the fucking gun! Yes, you have dangerous powers, but you did not pull the trigger! I know it feels like it! And damn, your body must feel foreign and hostile to you, but you did not chose this, the responsibility lies not on you, however much you put it onto yourself.

“We have no choice but to depend on him”

“The only one who cannot flee or surrender, who will even return from the dead is that nice man right there.”

Damn, that hurts. I know the doctor has a better relationship with Vash than Brad has, but it reads like they are only using him and that only because there is no other option. It mirrors how Vash treats himself.

Brad struggles with Vash seemingly being immortal and inhuman. His hissy fit kinda fits what is brewing in Wolfwood. But with the Docs explanation of Brad being a fucking brat that has a temper trantrum because his age mate Jessica has a puppy crush on Vash... He is just a fucking hormonal teenager. Brad the brat. And that makes Vash’s bout of hating his plantness immediately less dire. I love Doc. (I wanted to write like, but my hands wrote love, so love it is.)

Wolfwood can never eat in peace part two electric boogaloo. He looks so cute, squatting down and just eating XD. It is one of my favourite Wolfwood panels. He just looks so innocent and curious. Annnnd… the softness is immediately gone with his scowl returning. Interesting, how Wolfwood takes the police/army force intervening as something that can go either way and not something purely positive. We don’t see much of them in the manga anyway, so how much power do they truly have? Not enough, considering Knives is scheming in the background with the whole of the gun-ho-guns.

Also, Brad, just go away with your prejudice. I’d like to see how you would have come out living not in a safe space but a world in which you can be shot just for looking stupid.

Kinda hypocritical of Wolfwood. He wants to go away and not interfere. While that is a choice, it is a passive one. His action is nonaction. But nonaction is also an action. He wants to avoid having to make this decision of life and death. But that also tells us, the readers, that while Wolfwood is capable of doing so, he hates taking a life, he hates this part of life and himself. 

And his decision is to decide which conflict he interferes with, because his main goal is to keep the orphanage afloat. Wolfwood has to decide for himself who is worth saving and who is not. No wonder he calls himself a demon. But it is also very human.

He does not have the capacity to help everyone and if he dies here, the orphanage would suffer. His life is worth something for that very cause. While Wolfwood is right that you cannot not make a choice, he doesn’t seem to completely understand it, either. Surely, he breaks the choice down to kill or let live, but there are myriads of other choices that have to be decided before it comes to this. His choice right here is not to kill or to kill, but avoid interfering so he does not risk his own life at the detriment of the orphanage.

And Vash is… Not understanding Wolfwood or humanity. From Vash’s perspective every life is important. He cannot fathom that for some people some lives are more important than others and that alienates him from humanity. From his position it seems unimaginable for him that he does not jump into the fray to rescue the hostages. And it reads a bit patronising or judgemental that other people are unable to do so. It reads like: I can do it, why can't you? Wolfwood has a point, but Vash slaps it away by telling him it is just talk. Vash is not human here, he is far from it.

For me, this also opens up another question. Is Vash using this unconsciously to avoid Knives? By concentrating on helping the locals, he gets distracted again and again from their real goal, smoking out Knives. While Vash said that he wants to kill Knives, it goes against his ideals. Rem also died for Knives, not only humanity. And Vash still loves him, even though Knives did something unmentionable to him. Considering that Vash is also latently suicidal… is there an unconscious hope that he could die before having to meet Knives? It also makes his position of I can do it, why can't humanity do it, kinda sad. He can't imagine people wanting to live and considering staying alive a priority. 

I… just love this very interaction. It feels a bit jarring that they had such an intense argument just a page ago and now they are back to silly nillies.

Chapter 05: Dancing revolvers

Hehehehe, Baby Vash immediately wanting to eat the geranium. Geraniums are also used to repel mosquitos. How does Zazie feel about them? Do the plants smell of geraniums? Imagine Zazie meeting Knives and having to retch.

Interestingly, I mostly found geranium meaning protection and warding off evil, even as a promise to meet at a specific place. Only after a deeper search did I find the meaning of determination. Rem’s face in that scene. She takes strength from that meaning, her own determination to leave behind something or start anew. The woman has a deeply seated regret or two.

We learn later what this exactly means, but Luraude not losing a drop of sweat… HINTS! It looks like he was controlled somehow.

Vash, that can kill a person… A pacifist, you are…

Then why are you bleeding from the mouth?!

I love the framing of Vash’s shooting scene and the aftermath. How his training comes to fruition and how much of his fighting is like high level mathematics. We also don’t know why the storage is shown in the aftermath until we get the resolution of them having been shot open. 

Chapter 06: Sin

I love that framing. It shows the sin and the grief that follows it. It doesn’t show the act, it shows the victims! That makes it much more poignant for me. It is about how innocent people are forced into such situations, how much loss there is from ONE wrong act. 

And while it makes a full circle back to Wolfwood’s words and gives them much needed human context, it also opens up the idea of Wolfwood being a victim that had to take up arms, too. His expression is also important. There is no: “Gotcha! Spikey! There is not his angry stubbornness or this neutral, stoic facade that normally accompanies him trying to make Vash understand. It is just absolute sadness and, maybe (I am really bad with faces) apathy by helplessness. I like that we get a callback to the scene a few chapters beforehand, because this close up tells us a whole different story and frames Wolfwood’s position much more as a position made by need and not by want. As much as Vash cried in that scene, Wolfwood looks like someone who wants to cry, too, but has no tears left.

Wolfwood says that Vash is foolish and stubborn. He looks kinda like a devil, enjoying Vash’s plightful situation. Could it be misguided care for Vash’s survival, because Wolfwood himself had to learn the hard way how to survive? Or does he want confirmation that Vash is someone who reacts and thus is in the end human? There is the hint that there is more to Wolfwood joining Vash’s travels. Our man is sus.

There are other questions that I have as a reader. How often does Vash regret the outcome of these situations? Does he only regret those where he couldn’t save everyone? Or in which people choose to be greedy? How does he keep up his hope towards humanity after those situations? Every life is holy for him, so the life of the murderer and the life of the daughter has to be on the same level. Doesn’t how we fill our life’s make a difference? Vash needs to say no to this due to all encompassing love for humanity. And that makes him inhuman. 

I love how the panelling kinda says two completely different things. By lowering his gun, Vash takes a step back and lets the father decide how to punish his daughter’s murderer. Framing Knives in the middle could be read as Vash’s own acceptance of his hypocrisy. If he is willing to kill Knives for what he did, why should he stop the father. But it also shows Vash’s inner fight for me. He lowers the gun, while we are presented with Knives’s portrait. Vash is unsure if he even can kill Knives.

You can’t save everyone, but you should at least try. And Vash acts upon it. Not putting the father in danger by using his gun, but by trying to save the rapist with only his hands. It is about not burdening the father with being a killer. And… it is an end that makes Vash keep up his promise, but it also feels hollow. The girl was tortured to death and her killer lives. It is unfair. The father’s grief won’t lessen, he may even feel like a failure. And everything about this is just sad.

Another point for Vash being decidedly inhuman and separated from humanity. How would I feel if I saw my family that I put under my protection tear themselves apart. I look down from far above and their scuffles would seem so menial to me and I still lose family members to it, other grief and take more lives in revenge. But also, if everyone is your family, no one is. Family is that important because it is our in-group. But an in-group automatically has an out-group. Vash is ripping himself apart with his point of view.

Yeah, I would also yawn if my boo bombs up my holding cell and gets me with his cool bike. As if Vash expected Wolfwood to come to his rescue.

I like this little tidbit of Wolfwood showing empathy to the father and offering him an escape. Our boy is a softie! Even though he immediately grows defensive when Vash calls him out on it.

I also like Wolfwood stressing to Vash that Vash’s luck will someday run out. And Vash knows it. Vash knows he has been lucky til now. Wolfwood means it in a Vash’s life or the other person’s. Wolfwood wants Vash to chose his own life.

Annnnd Luraude was a puppet and no one knew. Even Vash with his supersenses didn’t sniff or hear him out. 

And I lov…hate… love… Legato. I mean, it is a planet full of bdsm-gear-wearing cowboys shooting each other up and he walks up like from a HIM concert all in a fucking iron maiden. Damn.

[pancake-breakfast]

Trigun Book Club! Maybe Wolfwood will show up in today's reading....

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 2, Chapters 2-4 below.

Chapter 2: Diablo

Ok, Legato Bluesummers is a HUGE problem child, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE his character design. This guy would adore goth fashion.

I wonder who's decided Vash deserves this particular hell. Also, it's noteworthy that the fact that they're sending TWELVE assassins after him (presumably one at a time) suggests they expect at least the first few to fail.

"Anyone in their right mind would keep that man locked up!" Hahahahahahahaha, try it.

Ugh, poor Vash.... He looks so sad and angry... and a bit scary. I'm worried for him.

It would be absolutely understandable if his feelings here were toward the humans unjustly locking him up, but the text goes on to let us know that the primary thing on his mind... the source of all his feelings right now... is Knives.

Flashback time!

Ohhhh, this is a place where '98 hard deviated, but Stampede stayed the course. '98 had Vash, Knives, and Rem running around with a handful of other characters back then, but here, it's just them.

Honestly, I feel like this panel is hitting on more story themes than are immediately apparent.

How sad that loneliness drove her to join Project Seeds. Sad, but understandable.

Oh, Vash, babygirl. Someone hug him.

You know, there's another character who wears an outfit that looks very similar to this in present day. And it's not Vash.

Full-on mom mode here in telling them what to do.

Vash looks older in this scene than he did in either anime adaptation.

Obscuring Knives's face. Smart. Can't see too much of him until it's Time.

TBH, Knives's argument here feels like justification after the fact. Like he needs a reason for everything that just happened to be right despite any elements of it going sideways.

For a pacifist, he sure can rock some serious murderface.

The ease with which he flips from murderface to softboi face is a bit disturbing.

He says this, but babygirl here looks SO TIRED. Whether or not he believes what he's saying, I think he really needs their kindness right now.

I don't know what Milly is trying to say/do here, but I wish her the best!

I just want to note that knowing my kana has made the sound effects a LOT more fun for me than they'd be otherwise.

Mmmmmm, something tells me Vash is likely to be out of there before morning. It might be this big guy who just showed up and opened fire, it might not. Who can say?

Oh, honey. Vash is NEVER unarmed. Even when he's literally missing an arm.

Hi, Monev! Thank you for introducing yourself to the class! You can sit down now. There's an empty seat right over there.

Yeah, the LAST thing Vash needs is to be trying to protect some bystanders against anyone making this level of posturing.

Good question, Monev. I don't think Vash is quite sure what he's up against, but he's clearly not going to underestimate you or take any chances. Not after meeting Legato.

Goshdarnit, the girls are still here.

Yeah, this could get messy.

I feel like Meryl taking a hit here was kind of nodded to in Stampede, where she also rushed in against Monev and nearly got herself killed.

See? Gun arm. Vash is never unarmed.

Annnd he's no longer chained down, either.

Not sure what's going on here, but I doubt it will be good for the building.

Yep. Sayonara, windows. We barely knew thee.

What's wrong, Monev? Looks like you might have bit off more than you can chew.

Oh, man. This end panel, though. Current favorite Vash murder pose.

Something something Hellsing something Alucard something aesthetic inspiration.

Chapter 3: Fragile

(The title makes me think of this song.)

Oof, little Meryl. I'm glad Milly's taking care of her.

I wish it was apparent who was thinking they can't let Vash go. I'm guessing it's Meryl, but that's based on metagame knowledge.

Iconic Vash pose.

Oof, goodbye, buildings. May you meet up with the windows from the previous chapter in whatever afterlife architecture ends up in.

Ok, this pause, though. This deliberate pause. The way the panels move from Vash shouting as loud as he can, to this almost peaceful pose of his back with the "ooooo" hum being the only indication of movement as he looks at a literal wall, to the GIANT SWISS CHEESE EXPLOSION. That's such a good build.

Ahhhh, and then this show of him focusing on the next page. People are getting shot, the world is exploding, and his gun is PERFECTLY LEVEL, his eyes are open. He's watching and waiting like a freaking ambush predator.

Aaaand he's injured. Darnit.

BUT HE MADE THE SHOT. TWICE. And Monev knows it.

Milly, still trying to help. <3

Heh, Vash might have lost the arm, but he didn't lose the arm. Hahahahahahahaha

Babygirl, remember the lesson you were trying to impress on Katie in the last volume. Don't get so caught up in your memories that you forget to be in the moment. The past is already fixed. The moment is where you can do the most good.

Something something it may seem silly something will to survive.

Uhhhh, why are we going to the bank now? Maybe something about that vault being thick and potentially safe?

Dang, we can just follow the blood trail, can't we?

Oof, trying to reload one-handed like this. Hands shaking. Trying to remember his own potential despite everything.

Uhhh... why was there just a bag of weapons hanging out there? Did Monev put it there earlier? It looks like something you'd find in a video game.

Honestly, this security guard should just take the night off.

Can't have Trigun without the bigass guns...

Vash is using the door as a shield. Just not the way one would suspect.

Again, with that perfectly steady hand.

Goodbye, Monev tough-guy mask. Hello, knee to the face.

Even after all this, Vash's resolve immediately cracks when he sees Monev's genuine fear of dying.

Again, with Rem's form blending into his and dominating the page. Meanwhile, he's just a shadow in the corner. Again, with the heavenly imagery of her, where here the only think keeping her from looking like a traditional angel is the lack of wings. But her hair, the way the cloth flows around her, and her whole pose speaks of angel's flight.

And, shaking, his gun dripping with blood from the force with which he shoved it in Monev's eye, he comes back to himself. And loses it in an entirely different way.

I love this last panel. It makes Vash seem so small and so alone. At the same time, literally everyone else in the panel aside from Monev is coming toward him to help. He might feel alone, but he's far from it.

Chapter 4: Scars

Ah, yes. Fragile things do end up with scars, if they don't break.

Honestly, what Meryl is typing here sounds far more journalistic than insurance agent-y.

She's starting to realize that, while Vash himself is a nice and gentle soul, there's a lot about him she doesn't know. I'm reminded of that quote, "No one will ever know the violence it took to become this gentle."

(BTW, I'm listening to the Stampede soundtrack and it's currently playing the version of Knives's theme with vocals and it's NOT HELPING.)

(Also, it sounds like SOMEONE is developing a bit of a crush on Mr. The Stampede.)

Monev seems to have grown some respect for Vash.

Ha, they gave this line to Wolfwood in Stampede.

I appreciate Vash's response. It says a lot about his character. Even when he seems like he's trusting, he's generally being far more cautious than people think he's being.

Quest #1: Complete! You've acquired a Coin Half!

*sigh* Everyone's scared, but he saved them all. But... their concerns aren't unjustified. If one assassin found him, the others likely will, too. And it's not like they'd send their biggest guns for Round 1.

You really shouldn't just walk straight into people's rooms. Even if you knock. Lucky for everyone he already had pants on.

Ugh, he's such a mess....

LOL, buddy. I hope that's not why you're turning down the opportunity for sex. And... if a partner really cared about you, it's not like she'd think less of you for them. Hasn't anyone ever told you chicks dig scars? Good on Meryl for calling him out.

Vash might have initially been put off by them seeing his scars, but now that they have, he doesn't seem to see a reason to hide them.

I don't think Vash could live a quiet life if he wanted to. Not with the Gung-Ho Guns hunting him. We'll not get into Ericks for the time being.

This is such a thing, though. I don't think she would fault him or think any less of him if he never bothered to settle that score. Then again, all things considered, him taking a back seat in all this would kind of be ignoring a ticking time bomb that might undo all she sacrificed for.

Huh, it's a bit of a surprise they let Monev stay for a few days, too.

There's something hilarious about Meryl's roller suitcase in the middle of the desert here.

LOLOLOL, Milly calling out Meryl for her intense interest in Vash.

Milly is a lot more devious than she looks....

Uhhhhh, what's with the cross? What's with Vash's panic?

Ohhhh, shit. Is that Monev??

Yep, it's Monev. Is... is he still alive??? Crucifixion is specifically designed to 1) be IMMENSELY painful (the spikes are generally hammered not through the palms, where they'd just rip out, but through the nerve bundle that runs up the forearm between the bones, which are holding the majority of your weight), and 2) slowly kill via exposure.

Nooooo, I don't like this guy alreadyyyyyyy....

I... I don't think Monev had a home. Not really. Not like the Gung-Ho Guns were gonna welcome him back to the mansion basement. He'd need to make a new path for himself in the world.

Yyyyep, it's E.G. Mine. Please send him back where you found him. I don't like him.

Vash, staying focused in this.

TBH, that get-up looks EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

I agree, Vash. I agree. I hope you can dodge this trolley problem with an Option 3.

Hahahaha, Vash manages to disable E.G. before his bag has a chance to drop to below shoulder level.

Howwww. How did he know Legato was watching?!

Oh, good. Legato's surprised by it all, too. And almost got shot. He's taking it pretty well, though.

Go for the source of the problem rather than the riffraff it's kicking up. Wise. Legato doesn't look pleased by this change of plans. But I think Vash is right to decide this quest is shit.

I feel very Two Cakes-y about manga Monev vs. TriStamp Monev.

(Warning: Spoilers for Trigun: Stampede ahead.)

There are things I like about both. And while TriStamp wrapping Vash directly into his backstory and mucking much more clearly with Monev's head might be a bit off-putting to some, I appreciated how much more personal they made his arc to Vash. You have all the same elements; a boy betrayed and trained to be a monster, released primarily to cause Vash pain, and then just as it seems he might be saved from everything he's been through, his life is cut short in a way that does NOT endear Vash to his killer.

But in Stampede, Monev's arc also holds the full weight of 20 years of Vash being too late. Too late to save the town. Too late to save the boy. To short-sighted to see the consequences of just trying to help. Too slow to save the man.

It makes it hit in a far more meaningful fashion... but I don't know that it would be right for manga Vash at this point in his story arc. Right now, he needs to recognize and reconcile what he is and isn't. We've seen far more of him being silly than we've seen of him being dangerous, and here, we see him leaning into his more dangerous side. Through his arc in the manga, we too must start to ask the questions Meryl asks, and might begin to wonder if, perhaps, the Humanoid Typhoon is far closer to the edge than he immediately appears.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 10 Pt. 1

Stream of consciousness again. Here goes (I say with a lot of trepidation even though I have a sinking feeling I already know what's going to happen)

Coming back to edit the beginning here to, ah... inform you all that this pretty quickly devolved into a record of my complete mental breakdown. So, uh, idk, maybe this will be actually somewhat funny to read, especially for those of you who knew what was coming. My tears will be your balm for this week. Maybe.

I don't know how to verbalize this but there's something about this image I really like compositionally. There's something about it that evokes a kind of bittersweet peace. It just really sets a tone for what I'm pretty sure I know is to come. I am not ready.

"It's 'specially because of times like these that an idiot like him plays an important role. He's doin' somethin' extraordinary. He believes." <- so so so very true! A light in the dark is not just rebellious, it's necessary. He's allowing himself to hope, not because he suddenly believes as strongly as Vash in the world at large (he's still far from that) but because he believes in Vash himself.

Fuck right off Chapel.

He's literally being impaled by a cross. There's. Something to read in that but I'm sorry I know nothing about Catholicism/Christianity...

"obsessive sense of attachment" <- so long as his disciples do as he molds them to do. in that sense, it's a little reminiscent of Knives' desperation to keep Vash with him and his quick anger when Vash does not behave the way he expects him to, but it also kind of makes Chapel the anti-Wolfwood, in a way. The true lack of hope, the way he would apparently do just about anything for his child disciples, but only out of a sense of them being easier to mold/manipulate, rather than Wolfwood's genuine love for the kids at the orphanage, and the compassion he's shown downtrodden kids in general. Chapel values Razlo because he values his usefulness, which unfortunately makes sense as to why Razlo would be so loyal to him. I have to wonder the circumstances that led to Razlo killing all those people... I don't think it would've been for no reason at all - he killed Livio's parents because they were abusing them, killed the dog likely because of a grave miscalculation of cause-and-effect when it came to Jasmine almost dying, and killed the men who were tormenting Livio when he ran off. But anyways I hate how the EoM keeps shackling him and restraining him like he's some feral animal. Has anyone ever been kind to Razlo? Has anyone ever rewarded him for anything other than being useful? Look, kid had some serious issues that needed to have been addressed (instead of training the severely traumatized hair-trigger violent kid to be... even more violent lol what did they expect would happen?), but... look at him. He was still very much a kid who saw someone who proved that he was useful to them through an incredibly violent act - the only language Razlo actually understood. Idk if there's any reaching him now but... ugh.

Orphanage lady I adore you. Also the kids refusing to scatter hjdfhbvsjdf

"Why else would he bite the hand of his master?" Really, with this and the way Razlo is restrained in flashbacks, we're going for a strong "trained attack dog" theme going on here huh? Fuck you dude. (There's also "bite the hand that feeds you" as an expression... which is interesting too, because Chapel clearly feels Wolfwood should feel honoured by his teachings... but his was never the hand that fed. Chapel tore this child down.)

NO FUCK OFF THIS IS WHAT HE WAS MOST AFRAID OF. And I hate this so much more because this means that Chapel actually knows Wolfwood's fears quite well... but ASSHOLE WHOSE FAULT IS THIS?

Yes!!! They love you! Get loved, idiot!!!!! You never had to do everything alone... :')

*ugly sobbing*

I still think Wolfwood tried to do this alone out of a sense of personal accountability and not wanting to burden Vash with his own problems - while he thinks they could've done this as a team here, I think he's still only thinking in "I failed" rather than realizing that helping would've been far from a burden. If that makes any sense. I still think Wolfwood devalues how much he matters to the people he cares about.

Here he is! Using his Plant powers without hesitation again to intervene and help Wolfwood. I can't believe the way they allow each other to become less afraid.

"I made a friend." Yes! You! Did!!! I reiterate! GET LOVED.

Aaaaaaand Wolfwood still can't quite wrap his head around the idea that his personal struggles might actually be incredibly important to Vash. See, I don't think it's that Wolfwood thinks Vash doesn't care about him - far from it, I think he definitely knows that - the heartbreaking part is the way he never seems to think he is anyone's priority. (And he really has become a priority to Vash hasn't he? He's postponing the confrontation with Knives to help him. :O) Also the way "I can't believe it." is overlayed on the panel with the church bell and the "angel" wing. Ha. Nice. Nice. This is fine.

I'm sorry but this made me laugh so hard. Imagine some angel looking guy appears out of nowhere and blocks all your bullets. Like. Yeah. That would be the response hdjfhbsdjfvh (Also I think this is a fantastic reaction image pfft)

"That overdose will make your heart rupture!" ...no...

Did he just throw Chapel? Is he dead???

AUGH I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE SUNGLASSES. He's trying to hide his eyes again (just like he does earlier in the series when he's about to shoot with lethal intent/is trying to hide his feelings) because he thinks they reveal him as a monster or irredeemable - they do not. They never have. But Vash... apparently either hearing his thoughts or just knowing him well enough to know what he needs and responding to that instantly... :'(

...I wonder... is this the first time Razlo has registered a death as cruel? Chapel died instantly; that's not really all that cruel... the cruel part is that Razlo is experiencing personal loss.

NOOOO WE'RE GETTING A FLASHBACK TO THEIR FIRST MEETING WITH VASH'S THOUGHTS AND THE FUCKING BIRD??? THE BIRD REALLY IS MEANT TO BE VASH AND HIS IDEALS, ISN'T IT? AUGH

AW YEAH THEY'RE TAG-TEAMING BABY!!! Everything is different when they are back to back :)

Ahdjfhvbd and now they're saying the exact same things at the same time. Soulmate behaviour fr

I missed them being silly together so much... it's amazing too, because in spite of the situation, they both seem so much less tense than earlier. Still though... "why are you here?" and he can't spit out an answer, even though it should be really obvious... like I think they both know but accepting/admitting that is another matter.

God this is such an "I missed you I'm so glad you're here" moment. Probably as close as Wolfwood is going to get to outright saying that

Hello? Wolfwood's loved ones in one panel right next to Vash's loved ones in the other? Vash repeating Wolfwood's arguments of "realism" and "have to get back to the kids"? Wolfwood, you're scaring him...

I'm fascinated that the "he had become very close to me" part is overlayed with the scene where Wolfwood tries to get Vash to shoot. The whole "if I pull that out of you"... then combined with "What is important? What are we willing to do to protect it?" ...Livio and Vash are important to Wolfwood, so he is trying hard not to kill. Has Wolfwood become so important to Vash that... he might?

YOU CAN SEE HIS EYES THROUGH THE SUNGLASSES AHHHH

NO. NO. NO. HE WANTS TO LIVE PAST KNIVES. HE WANTS A FUTURE. HE WANTS A FUTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE STORY. HE WANTS WOLFWOOD THERE WITH HIM. ALSO I JUST NOTICED HE TOSSED HIS FUCKING GUN ASIDE TO CATCH HIM. He doesn't want this kind of life for them... he wants peace for them both... he wants them to stick together, even when there are no more battles to fight... he wants to live for Wolfwood. He wants to live with Wolfwood. Oh my god. No. No.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

STOP. WHY WOULD YOU FOCUS ON THE HAND. IT'S DIGGING INTO HIS BACK. He can't hold him... he can't...

Hey uh. Does it mean something that Vash didn't even react or feel the knives (the knives) in his shoulder because the pain of this hurts so much worse right now? (Also did I need to cause myself emotional damage by writing that out?)

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh damn I think he is mad enough to kill. Holy shit.

In other news. I hate everything.

The sunglasses blown off his face again. When Razlo threatens Vash. Fuck off.

This fight scene is awesome and I love how brutal yet clever of a fighter Wolfwood is. ...I wish I could enjoy it more. Alas. I feel only pain.

I'LL NEVER BE WHOLE AGAIN. I'LL NEVER BE WHOLE AGAIN. RAZLO'S LINE AND THEN THIS. WHY WHY WHY

:O (reminds me of the Diablo chapter...)

Ok first off how the hell was Chapel still alive. Secondly, AHEOHJBFSHUCBSJVHSBJHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Livio :') (I feel pretty bad for Razlo though all things considered... I hope he's not gone for good? That'd be weird I think...)

Wolfwood, after all this shit, just laying on the ground: "yeah seems like a good time for a cigarette"

AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHHHHHHHHHH

HNNNNGGGHDFBSUHCBUHSB... HHHHH A BAPY

wait. how could it have only been six years. what.

NOOOOOOO GOD THIS IS JUST LIKE VASH THINKING MERYL WAS SCARED OF HIM ALL OVER AGAIN. SWEETIE NO I AM POSITIVE THAT KID ONLY SCREAMED BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD. THEY LOVE YOUUUUU

...oof. I think Livio's hiding too. :(

GHHHHHHHHHHH THE COINS

Hjfshvbdfjhbv Livio comic relief. I'm so sorry buddy but I needed that. Hope you're ok...?

...so this is the scene the "infamous couch" is from. Okay. Okay. I get it now. Ow.

...I'm actually fighting back tears right now. I. I don't usually cry at stuff like this. I don't know if I can do this man.

He wants him to smile even if it's not a real one. He just wants to know he'll be ok. But Vash can't smile. He can't handle this kind of genuine talk. It'll make it all real. He's actually praying. Praying for just this one person. He's. He's never done that before, has he...?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

ugh yeah no i'm crying. i'm tearing up. oww...

Oh, well, so is Wolfwood. Ugh. Ow. Ow.

...I saw the bell and had to stop and take a break. I don't want to turn the page. I don't want this. I'll come back tomorrow. Bye.

--

Hhhhh... What if you died knowing you were loved and you didn't realize how much until the end. What if you died realizing you always could've come home; that you would always be recognized for who you are, not what you'd been cruelly forced to become. What if you died seeing a possible future with the ones you loved but never being able to obtain it. Because it is far, far too late for that. The gratitude, the relief, the anguish that it all ends just as you realize what you could've had, and you cry out. But you still died knowing you were loved. And that's far more than you ever imagined for yourself.

I like to think he was smiling at the end because... it finally sank in.

And the bottle is labelled Bride??? What does that mean??? (Oh wait now I want to go back and look at the other alcohol bottles in the series to see if there's anything interesting on them) But uh, yeah, is this a religious thing, because I'm... why Bride. Why "The Bride". Huh?

^Hey this is really effective. Also, fuck off.

^Nightow sensei WHAT THE HELL MAN. Was this necessary?

Yeah I saw the first page of chapter 8 and my entire stomach just lurched. I think we should all receive compensation for emotional damage here. The bird... but it's not the black kite (Vash)... what kind of bird is that, I wonder?

Ah... Vash buried him. Alone. Hm. Yes, feeling normal about this. (Also Livio woke up inside the house which means... he must've moved him there too...)

"What do you mean "why"? You of all people should know why." <-oh. ow. yikes...

Oh... oh. His hair. :(

And it's so... he protected the area from the Ark. Ok he's protecting the place Wolfwood died to protect. Par for the course for Vash really. Except... hasn't everyone here evacuated already? He's protecting the place itself. ...also idk if this is right or not, but given the way the black hair is expending his own lifeforce it's... kind of hard not to see this a little as him expending the time he was planning on sharing with Wolfwood... and also that his hair went black... like the colour of mourning. ...with the "Bride" thing too it's... no. I shan't say it. I hate it here.

Hhhhhh... they both associate him with food...

Well. This has wrecked me. Thank you guys. I don't think I can analyze anything this week I'm too sad.