#scriptdeviant

[lultimagoccia]

@scriptdeviant is calling, pick up phone!

Shield! Peppina's got her trusty pizza cutters, and looking particularly furious at some cheap shots being made against the other...

— close call! Hadn't noticed the danger looming behind him until what looked to be a schoolgirl intercepted them. Funny, she was dressed very similarly to himself ... was she another of his various selves, maybe?

Whoever she was, she'd saved his ass.

" Grazie mille! I got your back! " he thanked her, shooting her a quick thumbs up before producing his OWN pizza cutter buzzsaw from — actually he wasn't sure. Whatever. Not the biggest of his concerns, in the moment. The saw revved dangerously before he followed after her into the crowd.

[thebananwithaplan]

It wasn't long after that the show just wrapped up the last round for the day. Seeing the audience attendance dwindle due to their fears meant they couldn't do as many recordings as they normally would in a day, which was not what Banana was used to (for the rest of the staff, it was both a relief and a concern.)

The good thing about being in the Hollywood industry and already feeling like eyes are constantly on him and his actions for long enough is knowing how to act the way the audience want him to. Can't show fear, can't show regret , can't show that the stress of recent thoughts and events was getting to him, either. Showbiz, amirite? Stupid Fake Noise making his audience be wary of gameshows with toon-heavy gimmicks, juice blenders, and the feeling of constantly being watched...

"Well. It's better than no-shows for no shows. I better go find Dandie and the boys to head back home, then-"

The sound of the gameshow stage's main doors abruptly opening took him out of his thoughts.

What's that big red blur heading his way? Apple-?

@scriptdeviant asked:

Pepperman BURSTS through the studio, in typical Pepperman fashion, skidding to a stop before the Dancing Banana. Is. Is he even aware of the happenings right now? Before there's even time to question him, the pepper gave a dramatic bow - With glittering teeth included. My GOD. He isn't aware, is he? Once opened, the letter of recommendation would read: "Don't change your expression or react strongly when you read this. Don't say anything about this message, and don't tell anyone where you're going. Any of the camera feeds I have set up are now his. I've thought this through, and you're the only one that can reach me without being spotted. See me as soon as possible. Attached are the coordinates. Oh! And offer the pepper a job painting something, I guess. -PH." ❝ I keep my portfolio on me at all times, if it helps. ❞ He continued to grin. Just as instructed, he hadn't peeked. Blissfully unaware of the letter's actual contents...

...Oh. Nope. Just another pompous pepper.

DB couldn't even get a word in before being given the envelope. A 'letter of recommendation'? He was surprised anybody was still willing to ask for work with the way things are at.

"Well, well, well. Let's see what we have, here." Eh, what the heck, he'll see what it had to say. Would be rude to send him off without at least giving it a quick read...

..............

.............. And boy, was he right on the mark with his earlier instinct on this one.

Remember when we said at the top of this post that the Dancing Banana was really good at acting? Well, here comes another example of that.

"...Hmm. We could use some much needed Artistic Integrity." Wasting no time to place that letter in his Hammerspace Inventory, DB gave Pepperman the good ol' 'CEO-Approved Handshake'.

"Tell you what - we are kinda closing up shop for the day, but I can assure ya that the next time I need a paint job done, you'll be the first I'll go to ask. I can also assure ya that any of your work done for Shovelware Studios property will be credited in full and paid accordingly. How's that sound?"

At least he finally has somewhere to work with.

The question now is WHEN to do so.

[pizzatrocious]

❝ I almost feel ... naughty. ❞ Pepperman suppressed some giggles as he poured what could only be some of the most ancient wine he'd ever laid his eyes upon. Sure, Pizzahead never elaborated on why they were in the bunker, but that didn't mean they couldn't make the most of it ... right? He was sure it was valid for whatever reason he had to be here. ❝ What movie did we decide on again? ❞

Looks like Pepperman decided to stick around a bit! Not that Pizzahead minded this time, he could use the company while he takes a breather down here. He could've SWORN there was a reason why he was down here to begin with, but... oh well! It probably wasn't that bad after all. Maybe he'll go back up in a few days.

He shuffled through a few VHS tapes, attempting to recall the ones they'd settled on just a moment ago.

"Weeeeeeell, lemme seeeee... we got Eyes Without a Face, The Man Who Laughs, and... The Good, the Bad and the Ugly! Let's just go in that order, yeah?"

Popping in the first film, he reached for his own glass of wine—the 1800's really were a great time for wine, he's glad he saved a few crates! He sat back on the couch, watching intently as the tape started rolling through its initial screens.

Reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaching across the room for the bowl of popcorn he almost forgot about, he offered it to his trusty employee.

Such a shame his other employees never offered to hang out. ESPECIALLY Fake Peppino, er, Zucchini. The guy's practically Pizzahead's son!

...OH RIGHT, THE NEW CLONE. THAT'S WHAT HE FORGOT ABOUT.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Oh well, it'll sort itself out eventually!

[hal-in-the-family]

...He doesn't get the dynamic of those three, honestly.

[delouieofgrandeur]

@scriptdeviant 🥐

As luck would have it, Brittany would walk in on the terrible little creature of a man as he seemingly got up from the floor, a screwdriver and can of mechanical lubricant in one hand. Normally, the sight of someone like Louie lurking around in someone's personal office space would be alarming. Thankfully it seemed that Louie had zero interest in snooping around, as everything seemed relatively untouched.

He seemed... fairly pleased with himself? Yet his face quickly contorted to that of irritation once his gaze met the other's. She hadn't done anything wrong, but walking in on him being productive in ANY way, shape, or form, felt like an embarrassment. If people saw him working, then they might think of it as a regular thing. And if they thought of it as a regular thing, they might raise their expectations...

Atrocious. He would, genuinely, rather hurl himself off of a rocky cliff and die a VIOLENT death.

But a beast had to be slain. That beast being the ear-grating squeak of Brittany's office chair. For too long had its horrific sounds cursed his ears during the other's 3 AM binges of some mid-level dreck.

"fixed your chair, pinky. it was annoying me..."

[nintendodeathsystem]

❝ Next time you wanna break my back could you wait until I'm single and not do it in front of my Boyfriend. Thanks. ❞

"I'm deactivating this account now."

[djhallyboo]

@scriptdeviant || he would've preferred getting one from jimmy buffet.

...That's it? No, really. That's it?

He went through all that trouble to put the little delinquent behind bars like he deserved (including being thrown into a blender with one million Marios, a thousand Luigis, two Peaches, a Wario head, and an overrated Hollywood actor), and he gets a bar napkin with chicken scratch on it?

And, to make things worse...

Daddy Dearest can't even get his name right.

"YA KNOW, DEAREST. I EXPECT NOTHIN' FROM DOIN' MY JOB CORRECTLY."

"AND YET. AND YET, YA STILL DISAPPOINT ME."

[americanpepperman]

As much as it fucking PAINS me to leave this URL behind, I decided one of the best things for my attention span RN is to move Pepperman to my multi, @scriptdeviant ! Consider this blog officially archived.

[thebananwithaplan]

Shield! Peppina's got a Toppin' to rescue!

Send “Shield” for my muse’s reaction to yours placing themselves between my muse and danger. ((Accepting!))

Just as DB thought he'd seen everything to go in this fight, here comes this Miku-looking girl with the Peppino palette and costume swap charging through with oversized pizza cutters.

...Maybe he shouldn't be as surprised, honestly. There's probably a big Peppinoverse out there.

"Thanks for the save! Don't suppose you got a giant leek on ya, do you?"

[pizzatrocious]

❝ That was fun! But it's proooobably time I headed out. ❞ Pepperman said with pained enthusiasm. He gripped himself, still wobbly from the colossal hangover. (How do you get that drunk off of wine...?) He felt bad — hosting someone at home while (accidentally) spending the night here. ❝ Anything I can do for ya before I go? ❞

Oh, what a SWELL time! All those movies, the heated debates over artists that Pizzahead personally met, not to mention the chess matches! Truly, it almost made Pizzahead forget that Pepperman was Pepperman for a moment.

"Ya know what! I think ya CAN help me out here, actually!" Holding up an index finger to signal a pause, he grabbed a sheet of paper from the desk by the monitors, and scribbled something down at lightning speed.

"Y'see, there's this guy I know—not really WELL, but we've bumped into each other once or twice in our respective businesses! Can't miss 'em — he's yellow, wears a bowtie like me, and is a talking banana."

Grabbing an envelope and licking the edges to shut it with the message inside, he stamped it with the words 'LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION'

"I think he might have a potential job for ya, soooooooo... As thanks for being such a GREAT employee, I want you to deliver this letter to 'em! But ABSOLUTELY NO PEEKING, okay?"

Pausing for half a beat, he turned to grab the small wooden statue.

"Oh! And if The Noise bugs ya for anything, give him THIS! Y'know with all the buzz about it, he proooooobably wants to see! You know how he is about Peppino, after all!" He gave Pepperman a jovial slap on the back, hangover be damned.

"After that... weeeeeeeell... Just take a week off from work, yeah? Things are REEEEEEEAAAAAAAL SLOW around here right now, anyway!"

[delouieofgrandeur]

❝ It's your turn to do the dishes. ❞

"stop wearing my shirt."

And with that, he was off with no further regard on the matter. Right out of the sleeping quarters, past the kitchen area, and right out of the ship's exit to get back to his daily sigma male grindset. He was about to go underground for the next two weeks, and there was nothing she could do about it.

[thebananwithaplan]

" what do you think he's got against pepperman , though . apart from him just being full of himself . " she stole the remote and rewound back to the segment where they could se the book , dandie flicking her chin at how there was a big X and the words 'BAD IDEA' written next to the drawing of the vegetable .

" like , i don't really know all of the relationships between people from the tower , but you'd think that if he thinks it's a good idea to go after the sheriff , who has a fucking arsenal , then pepperman would be a non - issue .. "

"How am I supposed to know?" Yeah. He's only seen him a few times, but Pepperman did feel as pompous as an 'artist' would. "...Maybe he's the type to talk about himself for hours on end?" A non-stop talking contestant would probably bore the viewers, and not even the Fake Noise would want that.

"I really don't know much about his personal life, either. Only that I hired him and have him on call in case an art project for the studio comes up." Oh, right. He did promise that, didn't he? Not sure how much that will do in this whole situation yet. Or if even.

Pepperman should consider himself lucky.

[pizzatrocious]

He's BANGING on the top of the closed bunker, desperately trying to reach the man he calls boss. He seems ... frantic. Stressed. Scared? Like he encountered something ... OTHERWORLDLY. You can hear him begging to be let in, mixed with a cacophony of "oh god nos" and "why me" he's still slamming on that top of the bunker. LET HIM IN LET HIM IN LET HIM IN LET HIM IN LET HIM IN —

He knew why Pepperman was here, but... could he trust what he was hearing? That thing, it was capable of far more than he expected... He couldn't be certain this wasn't a trick. And yet... what kind of employer would he be if he didn't recognize the frantic, fearful screams of his employees? Especially one that could quite possibly be argued as being his most loyal.

Throwing caution to the wind, he pulled away the furniture he had leaned against the exit, followed by the wooden boards nailed to the surrounding walls, took a jackhammer to the cement underneath the boards, lifted the garage door installed underneath the cement, carefully input the unlock code into the vault door underneath, pulled back the saloon-style doors, opened the metal gates, opened three more doors, shattered the glass door underneath with a small hammer, turned the wheel of another vault door, scanned his eye into the sensor of the door underneath, scanned his handprint into the one under that, then finally input one last code for the final bunker doors to open.

His eyes met with his employee's, observing him carefully for anything out of the ordinary... No, this was most definitely Pepperman. His visage was unmistakable, nearly as unmistakable as the ID chip he secretly planted into ALL of his employees in case of something like this.

"I know why you're here." A panicked gesture toward the other to enter. His tone seemed... gravely serious. Completely unlike the usual Pizzahead we know and love(?). "C'mon, for BOTH our sakes, don't keep me waiting!"

He knew he'd gone too far with this one. There'd be no coming back from his own hubris this time, and he only had himself to blame. This was, after all, his creation we were talking about here.

The least he could do at a time like this was show remorse for his actions.

"I'm sorry this happened."

[thebananwithaplan]

Actually that was a casino's number, not a bar.

. "A casino? Even better reason to keep trying to pull pranks on."

. "...What's a casino?" . "It's like an oversized bar with arcade games but they're all luck based and you spend more money than you do playing." The Oldest quipped.

. "So, like, esports?"

. "He said 'luck based', not skill based."

. "....Like mobile games with gacha and micro-transactions, then?"

. "Heh. Exactly."

[thebananwithaplan]

. "...Well, that didn't go as expected."

. "At least we finally found the bar." . "Yeah, at least there's that. We just gotta be a lot less obvious next time."

. "....Who's Anton?"

[thebananwithaplan]

❝ You worry too much, old man. Stop lecturing him! We get enough of it from Daddy, anyway ... ❞

. "I'm only saying. He's still just a guy and he should enjoy his short life instead of trying to make it even shorter."

He does not care if she calls him old. Sorry for having the 'worried uncle trait'.