#seasonal model burnout has come for me and all my friends

[macgyvertape]

D2 Season of the Deep thoughts

Gameplay:

The seasonal bonuses seem to be the start of the pivot to weekly challenges and no pinnacle grind. I'm glad the power cap wasn’t raised this season and won’t be again next season.

What’s the point with creating a hidden mechanic that requires the whole team to initiate it in a matchmade activity?! I never ended up doing a Tier 7 pressure trial, because matchmade with random people it never worked out and doing it with LFG or friends we never got past tier 5. 

Deep dives with ingame matchmade were toxic af after the release of the exotic quest and a waste of time, because there was often someone trying to do the exotic mission then leaving when no one else joins them. It really bad design to have the matchmaking mode set like this when people are trying to do it 3 different ways, and I don’t know why it was designed to not have backfill from the beginning. 

I like specific exotic armor focusing, new fun form of gambling and the stats are very generous. At the same time getting new seasonal exotics still feels like you waste a lot of time.

Being able to buy past season Iron banner armor makes me actually want to grind Iron Banner more in the future. 

Should be easier to get focused fishing, I never ended up finishing all the fishing challenges. Overall I thought fishing was fun at the beginning of the season when I could do it and chill with my friends, but I found the lack of obvious audio cues meant it wasn’t fun to grind out by myself when watching a show.

Deeply appreciate how you could skip so many seasonal challenges this season, that way I’m not grinding out hours spent in playlist activities and then burning out on the game. At this point I’m one of the people burned out on the seasonal model, the less I have to play things I don’t want to do to get my pile of bright dust. the more I like Destiny.

Speaking of not spending time in playlist activities, I didn’t reset any vendor rank twice and Vanguard I only reset once because I farmed Sepiks GM during double loot week. Deeply ironic that Gambit is officially not a dev priority considering that I find it the least aggravating playlist to grind. 

I knew I didn’t play as much this season but wow “27 minutes underwater” 

Story:

Opening mission: Fun to watch Saint lose his shit when Xivu-Arath mocked Sagira’s death. Her line about being the hand around my throat, I hope all those who are into the Hive enjoyed this season

I’ll really be upset if Sloane dies this season, I never really cared that much about her until Arrivals and when she stayed behind so I’m enjoying she gets to be the focus of a season (glad she didn’t die making it 3/3 focus characters dying)

Really appreciate Zavala, Drifter, Sloane, and Saint as a cast of characters who haven’t really interacted much onscreen but who have history getting to interact.

Drifter’s radio message about The Nine and Gambit felt more like pre-WQ Drifter, I have a lot of thoughts about this has been some of my favorite onscreen Drifter writing since Arrivals & Beyond Light and feels like the missing arc he should have gotten in Beyond Light to reconcile his views in Arrivals vs Plunder 

Week 2: Saladin and Saint arguing about who is being overbearing to Sloane was great; a sense of how do these characters get along, how do they react to a circumstances, both voice actors seemed to be having fun with it

Week 3: I feel very much like a floating camera but the cutscene with Drifter and Saladin was fun and is the pinnacle of what I’m enjoying about this season in terms of “these two people are some of the oldest guardians and have kept crossing paths in lore” so we finally see them in a scenario in game

Week 3 Drifter: enjoying the heavy implication that Drifter’s ears are doing the Hive are whispering at me bleeding thing.

Week 4 Drifter: “they didn’t go so quite not until I shut them up” … “I did what it took to get offworld now I’m here” …”somethings you carry with you forever” DAMN where was this writing for Drifter in Season 18 vs wacky woohoo gambit man

This season really cements that while I might not have the plot around why Saladin became Valus Forge, I really like him being in the story with fresh things to do other than rehashing the Iron Lords Legacy yet again

As Immaru’s #1 fan excited to see Saladin mention him by name, hope next season is Immauru vs Saladin as rival tacticians

[peacefulmamalife]

9 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Holiday Season

Hey Mama,  It’s the most wonderful time of year again.  Parties, Shopping, Gifts, Family, and Cooking. All on top of our very busy schedules.  It can be such a beautiful time of the year, but for so many of us we are just running on autopilot, stressed because we don’t know what to buy for our Mother-in-Law. Instead of the traditional chaos, let's slow down this holiday season.

The Overwhelming Holiday Rush: Accepting every invitation and constant busyness  is a recipe for burnout for you and your children. It’s too much and you often end up not even enjoying that holiday photo shoot and stroll you so meticulously planned for your family.  Every single year, I get caught up in the: what do I need to buy, meal prep, cookie making, planning fun family outings, and finding time to get to that pile of laundry that has been sitting there for two weeks.  From Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve it feels like we are running around everywhere and not enjoying much of it.  In previous years, I was more stressed about wrapping gifts quickly. I declined my toddler's offer to help. Causing a tantrum and me to get annoyed that I “just can’t get this done”. 

Why it’s important to slow down this season

The Christmas excitement speeds up life. Yet, amidst all this holidaying madness, there is something very important about slowing down. Here are strong reasons why it is crucial for us to hit the brakes at this time: - Maintaining Your Health: When every holiday season is a race, it usually comes with heightened stress that can harm your mental and physical health. Taking time to slow down and embrace moments of peace can significantly contribute to your overall well-being. - Quality Not Quantity: Having a full plate during holidays sometimes tempts you to choose quantity over quality as you rush through the rituals and gatherings without appreciating them truly. Slowing down will help one appreciate every single moment and will thus foster an even deeper connection with loved ones. - Reduce Overwhelm: The hustle and bustle of the season can be overwhelming for even the most organized individuals. Slowing down breaks the cycle of overcommitment that can allow you to focus on what really matters in life thereby reducing stress and overwhelm. - Mindful Enjoyment: Often rushing from one task to another, we have missed much of what makes the season special. Slowing down gives us an opportunity for engaging in mindful enjoyment; it means taking in the sights, sounds, and experiences that make these holidays special. - Positive Role Models: By slowing down during holiday seasons as parents, we set a positive example for our children. It teaches them the value of mindful living, emphasizing on cherishing moments and finding joy in simplicity. - Strengthen Bonds: Going through holiday events at breakneck speed can prevent meaningful connections from being established among people. However, when everything else slows down deeper interactions occur that result in stronger bonds between family members and friends that are etched into their collective memory forever. - Developing Gratitude: When we slow down enough to be present here now gratitude finds a welcome home. It also enables you to realize how blessed you are, hence fostering contentment.  Like when your toddler wraps a gift and is filled with pride on her skill. Or your kids dancing around the living room to “Jingle Bell Rock” Sit and let those giggles and smiles fill your heart. Really feel it. I know this can be easier said than done, but with a little practice it will become easier and part of your life. If you need a little more convincing…

Holiday Rush affects your children. 

Children can get stressed out because of the many activities, change in routines, heightened emotions and general hustle and bustle during this period. It is important to understand how these festivities can affect our young ones despite being moments of happiness. Ever wonder why your child seems miserable at the tree lighting festival?  Why holidays may be stressful for your children: - Disrupted Routine: Children are usually creatures of habit and they need routine in their lives. The festive season often disrupts their usual schedules including bedtime, meal times and play times. This sudden alteration might make them feel uneasy or anxious. - Overstimulation: Festive seasons come with lots of sights, sounds and things to do. These can be interesting but at times too much for young minds to handle. Full shopping malls, loud parties and excessive decorations could cause children’s minds to overwork thus leading them into feeling tired or stressed. - Increased Expectations: Holidays may be heavy on kids shoulders. Expectations about receiving gifts or taking part in festivities as well as fulfilling family expectations put pressures on them. - Emotional Rollercoaster: Children experience various emotions during the festive season. There might be happiness, joy as well as frustration, disappointment or even sadness especially if things do not go as planned or there changes family dynamics at such a time. - Limited Downtime: Younger people also need time to relax just like adults. Due to this overloaded schedule for holidays, children may fail to get enough time for rest and rejuvenation that increases stress levels among them. Ready to slow down this holiday season? 

 9 ways to reduce holiday stress and slow down during the holidays: 

- Only say yes to the invitations that you really want to attend or feel that are the most important. If saying “No” directly to the person, offer up an alternative. “I cannot make it to your ugly sweater party this year but would love to grab a cup of coffee during the week to catch up”.  - Make a list of all your holiday traditions. Highlight the ones you actually enjoy as a family and toss the rest. - Delegate. Let your spouse take on some of the shopping, let your children help you wrap gifts, and pick a day that you all clean the house together. I do my best to delegate house chores to help reduce my mental load. My 5 and 2 year old empty the dishwasher. Is everything in its perfect place? No, but it gives me a few moments to get our breakfast together.  - Avoid the family gossip at large gatherings. Simply walk away. It really only creates more stress for you, especially if you are worried that your uncle is making a bad investment on his girlfriend’s new business. Think about whether their decisions and actions are going to affect your everyday life. Or is it just  gossip? - Self-Care. This doesn't have to mean booking a weekly massage or taking bubble baths. What can you do during your day that lights you up? Take a few moments to sing a song, dance, paint, yoga. Anything to unwind. Check out my 5 minutes guided meditations here. - Simplify your Christmas Decor. Take out only what you really love and display it. - Loosen up on your expectations. Do you all really want to do that photo shoot for your holiday card? Or could you simplify and create a collage from your memories this year? I'll be selecting a few photos from our camping trips over the summer to put on our cards this year. - Simple Gift Giving. I do my best to stick with the 4-gift theme for my kids. Something they need, wear, read, and want. For family, I typically stick with a theme. One year I purchased wine from a local winery and everyone also got new mittens and scarfs. It simplified the whole process and were gifts that people appreciated. - Just Breathe! You don't have to sit down for a 50-minute breathwork practice. Just take a few moments in your day to notice your breath. I guided you through a short practice on my podcast episode Read the full article

[kasienda]

The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 6 - Miraculous Abuse

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

If Adrien had avoided using the snake before, he now was operating on the other extreme. Ladybug had told him to abuse it, and he’s not sure she would have meant it quite so literally, but well… he and Nino had come up with a list. 

It had started with his homework. If he could finish his homework in far less time, he’d  have more time to visit Nino and Marinette. Not that it took a lot of time to visit Marinette as it was usually a loop, so even if he spent hours with her, it never took longer than ten minutes as far as the rest of the world was concerned. 

He unfortunately couldn’t do all of his homework in a time loop because that would leave whatever he had completed in the last five minutes erased. But he could do all the reading, researching, planning, and studying in a loop. Anything that didn’t require him to write anything down. 

Nathalie had only walked on him transformed once. 

“Yes, Nathalie?” he had asked, without looking up from his textbook. He hadn’t even thought about it. 

She stood stock still and was dead silent. He glanced towards her with a frown - her eyes were comically wide, but that was the only sign that she was shocked. He glanced down, and remembered he was transformed at Aspik. 

Read on Ao3

“Oh shit!” 

But it had been easy enough to fix. He just reset, destranformed, waited for Nathalie to come in and deliver his schedule changes for the week and leave, and then he transformed again. 

And then Nino had realized if he could pack all of his studying into the space of five minutes, Adrien could surely squeeze in some well deserved leisure time as well. 

It only took 71 loops to read a hundred thousand words, and Adrien had long ago discovered the joys of fanfiction, but he had never really had time to read more than a bit here or there. Now? With unlimited time and an entire endless library of things to read based on his favorite games and anime? Let’s just say his current power set brought a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Just One More Chapter.” 

And a season of anime was only 119 loops. Hell, he had gotten through all 981 episodes of One Piece in 4532 loops, which was still nothing compared to his time as Aspik, and honestly, far less traumatizing. 

He had felt slightly guilty about it. He was literally using the powers of time travel to watch anime. 

But when he mentioned it to Nino, his friend had just rolled his eyes. “Dude! You’re thinking about this all wrong. You’re a hero and we need you to be okay. This is about avoiding burnout as much as it is about having a good time. It’s so you get enough of a break and enough sleep to be a competent hero that we all need!”

But eventually the stories and shows hadn’t been enough to hold his attention. And he took another of Nino’s ideas and started paying visits to several of his friends. 

He had gone to Kagami first. He had no expectations of healing things with her, but he had always wanted to be able to explain so that his apologies might mean something.

“Chat Noir? Is there an akuma?” she asked by way of greeting. 

He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Ah, no. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I also have to erase your memory after the fact to protect identities. Are you okay with that?”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “You have piqued my curiosity. You may proceed.” 

He nodded. He had already activated his power before he had landed in her bedroom that was definitely as lavish as his own if not quite as spacious. 

“So… more than anything I wanted to apologize to you?”

She frowned. “I’m unaware of anything that you have done that would require an apology.”

“Kagami, I’m Adrien.”

Her eyes went wide for a second. “Ah, I see.” Then, she nodded. 

“That’s it?” 

“No, it makes a lot of sense.” And then she did something he never would have expected. She smiled. And most of his tension released. 

“I just wanted to explain now that I had the ability to. That I wasn’t ever lying to you or running from our dates because I wanted to.” 

“You had to sacrifice your own desires for a higher calling.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly.”

She smiled at him again. “I appreciate you coming to explain and I understand completely why I can’t remember. May I ask you a question?” 

“Of course!” 

“Were you never in love with Marinette?”

“Well, I… uh… it was hard to see Marinette when I was completely enamored with Ladybug, but…”

She shook her head. “Are you in love with both of them now?” 

“I mean, sortve?” He knew Kagami hated when he ended every sentence as if it was a question. “They’re the same person.”

Kagami sighed. “How disappointing.” 

“Disappointing?! She’s amazing!” 

“I know, but if she’s Ladybug and you’re Chat Noir, I have never had a chance with either of you.” 

He felt like he had been thrown off a cliff. “What? You had feelings for Marinette?” 

She grinned. “Well, she is amazing, as you always say. At least I know that I have really good taste.”

“Well, I’m sorry to have ruined all your prospects.” 

“I will survive. Neither of you define me as a person.” 

“You’re pretty amazing, too, you know,” he told her sincerely. 

She nodded. “You honor me.” 

He laughed. “Kagami, please don’t get all formal on me. I’m still just me.” 

“Well, I hope you know that I appreciate all that you and Ladybug do for the city,” Kagami told him, ignoring his request.

“Thank you, Kagami. That means a lot coming from you.” 

She nodded in acknowledgment and he knew he was being dismissed, and then he slid the switch on his bracelet and he was on the roof of her family’s manor once again his heart a little lighter.

He had gone to Alya after that. He had been nervous since she was the one who tended to push him aside as Chat Noir. But his fears proved to be completely unfounded as for the most part she could never stop laughing whenever he revealed himself.

“Wait! You’re Adrien?!”

She burst into cackles immediately. 

“Why is that so funny?!” He has demanded the first time. 

She had just grinned, shaking her head and still chuckling. “I wish I could explain it to you, sunshine.” 

“I already know Marinette is Ladybug,” he said.

“Oh good! Then I don’t have to be panicked about accidentally slipping!” And she went back to rolling on the floor laughing. 

“You wouldn’t happen to already know Marinette’s other secret would you?” she asked.

His eyebrows scrunched together under his mask. “Umm… that she’s in love with me as Adrien?” 

Her face lit up. “Oh see!! You do get it!” 

He shook his head. “I do not get it.” 

“The two of you managed to get yourself in a love square. You’ve been chasing each other around like two cute little hamsters in hamster balls.” 

He sighed, far less amused than Alya at the current state of his Marinette’s relationship. “I’m really glad someone is getting some joy out of this.” 

“Hey!” she objected. “I’m only going to know this for another three minutes! Let me have my fun!”

He held up his hands in surrender, and he was smiling in spite of himself. Maybe some time in the future, after he and Marinette could be together, it would be funny to him, too.

“God! This is why it feels like I’m third-wheeling during akuma fights,” she exclaimed.

“You feel like a third wheel?!” he repeated in disbelief. “Have you seen the chaotic energy that is you and Marinette coming up with a plan together? I am definitely the third wheel in that situation.”

And then she was cackling again. “I’m sorry,” she wheezed. “Nino says I can be a bit of a bulldozer when I’m trying to find a solution to something.” 

“That’s putting it mildly,” he said dryly.

All the mirth fled her face and she looked at him in concern. “Hey, you okay?”

He nodded. “It’s not like I’m allowed to be anything else.” 

“No, don’t say that! You’re allowed to be upset with me! I deserve it sometimes.”

He shook his head. “I’m never going to hold your ability to defeat an akuma against you. I just… have felt a little unneeded lately,” he admitted.

She stared at him for a second and then she burst into laughter again. 

And despite still not getting it, he found himself chuckling, too. Her laughter was just that infectious. “Why do you find this so funny?” he asked. 

“Because you’re a literal superhero and a model with more money than god, and a heart of absolute gold. You work with her as Ladybug so well I have to deal with crazy conspiracy theorists on the Ladyblog  who think the two of you must be telepathic aliens!” 

“What? People don’t think that.” 

“They do! And it’s annoying. But my point is you’re the real deal, Agreste, and she’s crazy about you, and you know it, and yet you still manage to doubt yourself.” 

“I’m glad my struggles and hang ups are so amusing to you,” he said with a pout. 

She sat up and fist bumped his shoulder. “Aww! Sunshine! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, your insecurity makes you seem sweeter and cuter. And it makes you seem more human. I don’t mean to mock you in any way.”

He searched her face and only found open sincerity.

“Thanks, Alya.” 

“So, does she know that you know?” 

“I mean, she doesn’t right now. But I’ve told her. Many many times, but it was just like this and she doesn’t remember.” 

She softened. “That sounds difficult.” 

“It’s apparently better than the alternative,” he said, going for nonchalance, but he didn’t fool her if her scooching to sit right next to him was anything to go by.  

“I wish we could all fix it for you, Adrien.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“How are you?” 

He shrugged. “I’m okay at the moment. Some days are worse than others. Nino… Nino has been a godsend.” 

She smiled. “He is pretty amazing. He knows outside of a loop?” 

“He does.” 

“I’m glad you have that, Adrien. Marinette was falling apart at the seams before she told me.” 

“Does he know about Marinette?” Adrien asked. Sometimes, it seemed like Nino knew more than he was letting on. But maybe his friend was just really respectful of secrets and didn’t ask questions.

“Not from me! And he hasn’t told me about you being Chat Noir either.” 

Adrien glanced toward the window. 

“Does it bother you that there are secrets between the two of you?” he finally asked.

“No, not these ones. They’re not our secrets. They’re yours, and they’re Marinette’s, so they’re not ours to share.”

“I'm jealous,” he admitted.

She offered him a sympathetic smile. “Someday, you won’t have to be anymore.”

The Snake beeped it’s first warning. “Time’s just about up.”

She offered him a fist bump and then a hug. He reciprocated both. “I’m glad you stopped by, Sunshine. You’re always welcome any time you think my particular brand of company is something that would help you.” 

He grinned. “Thank you, Alya.” 

“I look forward to the day when all four of us can just be open about everything,” she said. 

He snorted. “You and me both.” 

His went to his bodyguard next. 

“I just wanted to apologize to you for always running off. I don’t mean to make your job harder or get you into trouble. I am literally running away to save the city.”

His bodyguard didn’t say anything. He never said anything. He had just let out a resigned sigh and then patted Adrien’s shoulder. 

Adrien took that as forgiveness and reset the loop. There was no sense in sitting there in awkward silence for another four and a half minutes. 

When he had told Nathalie one afternoon at her desk outside her office, she looked horrified - frozen as still as a statue trapped in Medusa’s gaze. 

“Nathalie?” 

“I… all this time?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I know it’s a lot. I know it causes you a bit of grief when I disappear.” 

She waved away his concern. “Right now, we’re in some kind of time loop and I won’t remember?” 

“But you will,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” he confirmed anyway. 

“Adrien, I need you to listen to me.”

He nodded. 

“I can never find out. Your father can’t either. If you need something because you’re hurt or cornered, or…” she trailed off.

Was she crying? 

She cleared her throat. 

“Go to your friends. Their parents. Just… not your father, okay? Or me, because I’d have to inform him.”

His brows furrowed together in confusion. “Okay?” It wasn’t hard to to agree despite how weird she was being. He knew Paris needed him and he also knew that his father would never let him continue. Especially if he was seeking help due to an injury or something.

That’s what Nathalie was referring to, right? 

She patted him on the shoulder. It was even more awkward than when his bodyguard had done it. 

“Adrien, you’re quite impressive as a hero.” 

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

And then there was Marinette. He had learned that it was impossible to tell her he was Adrien without making her cry, which was frustrating because she was also so much more open and affectionate once she knew. 

“How do I get you to not breakdown when I tell you this?” he asked her seriously.

She laughed through her tears. “I’m sorry, kitty. I have no idea. It’s just… it’s not fair.” 

He smiled. “That’s what Ladybug always says,” he told her casually. She didn’t know that he knew this go around.

“She’s right! You deserve so much, and life… it’s not fair!”

He turned to her seriously. “I don’t need life to be fair, Mari. I just… don’t want to have to wear a mask all the time.” And then he smiled. “I’m glad that you’re okay with me doing this.” 

She nodded tearfully. “Anytime, Kitty. Anytime.”  

Then during a regular patrol at one point. He had just realized he wanted to make her laugh. So he spent another few hundred loops figuring out which jokes made her laugh the hardest and which ones were absolute duds. Then, on a day when she was having a hard time, he showed up on her balcony and gave her the best one hour comedy of her life. 

Her unrestrained laughter was so explosive she had literally fallen out of her chair. Totally worth it. 

“Thank you, kitty,” she said wiping the tears induced by her laughter. “You have no idea how much I needed this.” 

He hadn’t argued. “Of course, princess. I am always at your service!”

Then, he started working on the perfect confession. He was trying to see if he could get her to kiss him as Chat Noir without revealing his identity because, you know, that always made her cry. 

“Can I use the snake to ask you a very important question?” He has asked Ladybug on patrol. 

She nodded, and he activated it. 

“What do you think it would take to get you to kiss me?” 

She laughed. “Are you serious right now? That is your very important question?” 

“It is,” he nodded, but offered her a huge grin so she could take it as a joke if she wanted.

“Why? You haven’t been able to be successful yet?” she teased.

“Oh no! I’ve been super successful. All I really have to do is tell you my name.”

She scoffed.

“No, I’m serious!” he boasted with a huge grin splitting his face knowing she only half believed him.

“So, why don’t you just do that?” she asked seriously. 

“Because you always cry! And I don’t want to kiss away your tears. I want to make you smile.” 

She got quiet. “You know, we can’t be together right?” 

“Yeah Marinette,” he whispered. “I know that really well.”

 It was silent.

“How long have you known?” she asked softly.

He had no idea how to answer that question. Because time was now very weird for him. In one sense he had only known for a few weeks, on the other he had literally spent so much time in loops that it had to have been at least twice that at this point. Maybe more.

“A while,” he said. “But we’ve already talked about that to death. I’d much rather figure out how to get you to fall desperately in love with this half of me.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “You want me to fall desperately in love with you in five minutes?” 

He shrugged. “We have a solid foundation of trust and friendship. I’m not starting from nothing. Plus, I’ve fallen in love in less than five minutes before.” With her. He didn’t think he needed to say that though.  

She actually smiled. “Yeah, I’ve fallen in love pretty fast before, too.” 

And it occurred to him that he had no idea what had made her fall in love with Adrien. He probably could ask her, but that was one more memory that he wanted her to remember having told him. 

He could probably just show up on her balcony as regular old Chat Noir and just say something like, “So, Adrien Agreste, huh?” She’d probably tell him, and she’d even remember it. But she wouldn’t know that it was him she was telling. 

How the hell had his life gotten so complicated? 

“There’s no way I would start crying just from knowing your name though,” she said. “You have to be making that up.”

He just turned to her and raised his eyebrows. 

The expression probably didn’t work as well with his transformation covering them. 

But she still hesitated. “There’s no way!” she exclaimed, but then she got a thoughtful look in her eyes. “Unless…” 

And then her eyes started welling with tears.

And he almost laughed. But he managed to hold it back.

“Oh, come here, bug,” he said instead, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to him. And he just held her as she shook silently. 

“It’s not fair,” she whispered. 

“I know,” he said, and then kissed the top of her head. “I know.”

“Do you see my problem now?” he said after another pause. 

And she laughed through her tears, which had been his intention, and he smiled.

She pulled away. “I’ve thought about it before, you know.”

“Thought about what?”

“Letting myself fall for Chat Noir?”

He hugged her tighter. “Yeah?” 

“It never seemed like it would be that hard. I think if it hadn’t been for Chat Blanc, it would have happened after New York.”

He laughed. “Really? New York was when I thought maybe I should ask out Marinette.” 

She looked up at him in horror. “Oh my god! We’re just perpetually screwed, aren’t we? We’re just going to keep missing each other over and over!”

He kissed her hand. “No m’lady,” he assured. “That can’t happen because now I know, and I can’t forget.” 

And then she was crying again, harder. “I don’t want to forget either.”

“I know,” he told her, kissing her hand again. “I promise it won’t be forever.” 

“I love you, Adrien.” 

“I love you, too.”

And that time, of the two of them, it was he who was stronger and able to slide his fingers across the reset. 

And he might have stayed in that loop far longer than he should have trying to figure out the way to the heart he had apparently already won.

He learned that she did enjoy his flirting whatever she said to the contrary, but the moments where he was vulnerable and genuine were the ones that seemed to move her the most.

But none of it was quite enough. If he wanted a kiss, he always had to tell her his name. 

But despite his failure, pulling himself out of that loop was the hardest thing he had ever done.

And that’s how he knew he was in trouble. 

… 

“Nino, you have to take this away from me,” Adrien said, holding out the snake miraculous. He had just arrived and released both his transformations. 

Nino took it, his eyebrows pinched together. “What? Why?” 

“Because I’m scared I’m going to go into a loop and I’m never going to come out of it.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Look! Being here with you, with you knowing everything, is amazing. It’s the only time I feel like myself, unless,” he held up the bracelet, “I’m using this and… it’s getting harder to pull myself out of the loops.” 

“Your visits to Ladybug?” 

“Yeah,” Adrien admitted. “She told me to go every single day so I would remember what it was like to be loved,” he paused for a second, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. “The problem is I really really like being loved.” 

And then he couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. 

Nino pulled him by the arm down to the ground and sat right next to him shoulder to shoulder.

Adrien buried his face in his hands. 

“For the record, dude,” Nino whispered. “You are loved even outside a loop with Ladybug.” 

Adrien threw his arms around Nino. “I honestly don’t know why you put up with me at this point. I feel like you have to put up with a lot.”

Nino grinned. “Hey! I happen to like hanging out with you! This shift has been awesome because I get to see you way more often.” 

“And I’m not like messing up date night with Alya or anything, am I?” 

“Nah!” Nino waves away his concern. “Alya and I hangout in the mornings and during lunch. Lately Marinette has monopolized her evenings.” 

Adrien managed to keep a straight face at that. “If you and her ever do need a day away from the children, I’m sure Marinette and I can figure out a way to take care of ourselves for a day.” 

Nino burst out laughing. 

“What?! I’m a big boy and Marientte’s a big girl. We can take care of ourselves.” 

Nino just shook his head, still snickering. 

“Maybe all four of us could do something some time,” Nino suggested, his eyes sparkling.

Adrien narrowed his eyes. Did Nino know? He knew he couldn’t ask without giving it away, and he had just handed over the snake. 

“That sounds really nice,” Adrien said, knowing he wouldn’t be able to handle going on a double date that he had to pretend wasn’t a double date. But someday. 

He wanted to cry again, but his eyes remained dry. 

“So, you just want me to keep it?” Nino asked, holding up the bracelet. “Should I hide it here in the room? Or wear it?” 

“Wear it,” Adrien said. That was the only way Nino would know where it was at all times. “But don’t use it. Not even for an akuma.”

He didn’t want Nino to ever experience a loop on the battlefield. Not if he could help it. 

“I reserve the right to come save your ass if necessary,” Nino said as he slipped the miraculous around his wrist. 

Adrien laughed. “Okay, but please don’t unless you absolutely have to. I don’t need Ladybug pissed at me for giving away a miraculous.” 

Nino frowned at him then. “Why are you giving this to me, instead of back to her?” 

Adrien’s answer to that was complicated. Partly because he didn’t want Marinette to know that his loops with her were hurting him even as they gave him hope, and he definitely didn’t want her to know that he had fallen to the point of being borderline addicted. 

But there was also a strategic element to his choice. He could approach Nino in either form, and Nino would know to trust him. 

“You know who I am,” Adrien finally said. 

“Will you be okay without it?” Nino asked.

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m definitely not okay with it right now.” He paused, then looked at Nino. “I might be texting and calling you a lot over the next few days.” 

Nino laughed. “I can’t promise to answer right away all the time, but you can always do that, man. Always.” 

Adrien let his head fall onto Nino’s shoulder. “Have I ever told you that you’re the absolute best?” 

“I could stand to hear it a few more times,” Nino said. 

Adrien grinned. “Noted.”

…

Chapter 7: The Five Minute Adventures of Ananta

[itawonka-creates]

Seabourne Burnouts: Part 11 - Scuttlebutt

A Maribat! On Deck AU

Thank you @particularlygeeky for beta reading and for the chapter name idea!

Start [Here] [Part 10] [Part 12]

“I’m telling you, this is where he’s been this whole time.” Adrien looked back at Max and Markov and sent them a shrug. Alya just rolled her eyes as she peered around the corner. She relaxed and waved her hand, “Come on, coast clear.”

Max quietly followed his two friends and asked, “Alya, where exactly are we going?”

“Alya thinks Bruce Wayne is Batman and is trying to figure out why he was gone for such a long time.” Adrien looked back, a rare serious expression on his face, “I don’t think she’s wrong either. Something’s up with them.”

Markov flew up to Adrien and examined him, “Aren’t you friends? According to my data over the last 12 days, you all seemed close.”

Adrien smiled, “Oh, they’re the best. Dick, Jason, and Tim are awesome to hang out with and Damian is treating Marinette really well!”

Max blinked, surprised, “Are they together?”

“If they aren’t by the end of this trip, I’m going to have Ladybug lock them up together like she did with me and Nino.” Alya sent back a coy smirk before peering around the next corner and pointing, “That room should be the one.”

“And how do we know Bruce isn’t in there right now?”

Alya held up her phone, “I got Nino sending me updates while he hangs with the bros.”

Adrien grinned, “Hanging with ‘the bros’? Alya, we’re finally rubbing off on you.”

Alya blinked a few times before glaring at the model. Max and Markov just laughed quietly as they made their way to the door. Alya jiggled it a few times, “Locked.”

“Now what, oh great detective?”

“May I?” Alya motioned for Markov to proceed with whatever plan he has cooked up in his digital brain and Max was just surprised to see his little friend take the lead. Markov brought out something similar to a Swiss Army knife, different tools all on display as he analyzed the lock. He put all but two tools away and began working on the lock. Alya looked back at Max and smiled, “So he can pick locks now?”

Max shrugged, “He likes learning new things. Comes in handy when I forget my house keys.” Adrien chuckled and shook his head as he watched the little robot work. Suddenly there was a click and the door cracked open. Markov pulled back and looked pleased with himself.

Adrien held out a fist, “Nice job!” The little robot was happy to bump fists as the four walked inside the room. Alya closed the door behind them and turned on the light. “Oh, this isn’t suspicious.” Adrien looked around the room and noted a few things, there were some office chairs and a large circular table. All pretty standard until you took into account the large supercomputer taking up the farthest wall away from the door.

Max immediately ran over to the computer and whistled, “This is incredible. How do you even get this on a boat?”

“More importantly, why does he need this on a boat?” Alya took a few pictures before pressing the space key. The monitor lit up and everyone stared at the line requiring a password. Alya scowled, “Markov, Max, you think you could help?”

Max and Markov looked at each other before Markov plugged himself into the computer and Max pulled up a chair. “Give us a few minutes.” Alya smiled and gave them both a quick hug and pecks on the cheek and display monitor, surprising the two for a second before they returned to work.

“You guys are the best.”

“Hey, Alya?” Alya turned back to Adrien who held up a stuffed folder from a nearby drawer. Alya walked over and Adrien opened the file. The two looked through the photos of Paris’s resident heroes as well as very detailed reports of different Akuma attacks.

“Hey, that’s Rena Rouge. Carapace and Queen Bee too.” Adrien set the file on the table and Alya began looking through the photos. “Queen Bee and-“ her breath hitched and Adrien peered over her shoulder to look at the photo. He was shocked to see the photo of the core five fighting against Hawkmoth on the Eifel Tower.

“This is from Heroes Day.”

“Look there.” Alya point behind Hawkmoth, “Isn’t that the first Amok?”

“Yeah, it is.” Adrien looked through the reports and found details such as first sightings, hair color, eye color, appeared race and ethnicity, appeared age range, and much more. He found details on their powers and fighting styles. On almost all of them, he found the same line of text. “Appears to be a novice in both fighting styles and control of power. May be children.” 

Adrien looked over his and Ladybug’s reports, “Two most seasoned out of the heroes. Always active. Patrol frequently. Appear to be close, but no romantic relationship noted besides light banter from Cat Noir. Most likely in early adolescence when beginning hero work. Do not appear to know each other’s identities.” He bit his lip at the different photos of him and his teammates.

Alya furrowed her eyebrows, “How did they get these? Some of these aren’t even on the Ladyblog.” Adrien licked his lips and ran his fingers through his hair. The two felt their anxiety spike the more information they uncovered in the documents. “Who are they?”

Adrien turned his attention to some pictures of Pegasus, Viperion, and King Monkey along with a few other rare heroes. “These are heroes Ladybug rarely uses. I mean, they have to be if you don’t recognize them.” Alya took some photos of the files on her phone and Adrien felt his heart racing, “How did-“

“We’re in.” The two quickly turned to Max and Markov and watched the monitor blew up in different windows, all displaying different videos and reports. “What is all of this?”

Adrien gathered all the files together and held them under his arm as he walked over to the computer. He looked at all the windows before pointing at one of them, “Expand that one.” Max clicked on the window and it showed the image of a hallway, “Press play.”

They were shocked to watch footage of the raid, men storming the halls and causing mayhem. Alya paused it and minimized the window before clicking on a different one. She pressed the play button and watched as Damian and Marinette narrowly escaped some of the raiders passing through a hallway. Adrien gulped audibly, not realizing how close of a call it was for his two friends. Alya minimized the window and clicked on one more window. She found herself looking at her own blog.

Adrien shook his head and licked his lips, “Alya-“

“This is it.” Alya let out a nervous laugh, “This is it. This is the evidence I’ve been looking for.”

Markov shook his head, “We’ll need something more substantial than this if you are going to accuse a man of being a famous vigilante.”

Adrien grabbed the mouse, “What’s this one?” He expanded the window and they all found themselves looking at an image of the raiders in cells. He hesitantly pushed play and they watched as the raiders disappeared in a black and purple haze, leaving behind two boys. One was injured in his leg and police suddenly stormed the cell.

“Adrien, that’s-”

“What’s going on here?” The four all turned to the doorway and found a very stern looking Bruce standing in the doorway, arms crossed. While he didn’t yell, nor did he make a move towards them, the four flinched.

Alya looked at her phone, realizing it was on ‘Do Not Disturb’ and completely missing all of Nino’s messages. She gulped and stepped up first, “Why didn’t you tell us the raiders were Akumas?”

Bruce blinked and uncrossed his arms, “What?”

“The raiders.” Alya turned back to the computer to rewind the video and played back the moment they disappeared. She paused it when the black and purple haze covered the screen and then brought back up her Ladyblog. She pulled up a video of a former Akuma and forwarded the video to the part where Ladybug captured the Akuma. The monster was covered in a purple and black haze before being turned back to normal. She pulled up the two videos side by side and pressed play on both windows. The room fell silent as they realized the haze was the exact same in both videos. Bruce walked up to the monitor and replayed both clips a few times as if to make sure what he was seeing was real.

Bruce turned to the kids, “One, you are all in big trouble. You are not allowed in this area and you clearly broke in as this door is always locked.” The kids all looked at each other nervously before turning their attention back to Bruce. He sighed, “Two, you are all going to help me in my investigation.”

The group blinked before Adrien shook his head, “What?”

“I thought this was a computer glitch, but clearly this is out of my depth of knowledge. I don’t know much about what’s going on in Paris, but you three clearly do.” He pointed at Alya, “Especially you.”

Alya gulped and nodded. She bit her lip before finally asking meekly, “So it’s true?” Bruce didn’t say anything, instead turning his attention back to the monitor. Alya smiled and laughed quietly, “Oh, Tim owes me so much.”

Bruce sighed, “Yes. Yes, he does.” He turned to the four and then locked his attention to Alya, “No one can know. I know you are a reporter and this is asking to go against everything you stand for, but no one can know.”

Alya held up her hands in surrender and shook her head, “No way. Gotham is crazy dangerous. This evidence is to prove to Tim and to myself that I am a good reporter and investigator. None of this information is leaving this ship.” She smiled and giggled, “Besides, when Marinette and Damian get married, I don’t want to have you glaring at me from across the room during the wedding.”

Bruce cracked a smile before he returned to a stoic expression, “That goes for you two boys as well.”

Adrien placed a hand on Max’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze, “Bruce, we would never.” He sighed and his expression was grim, “Over the past few years, we’ve all accumulated secrets. One’s we’ll take to the grave.”

Bruce blinked, this boy has done nothing but smile and look at the bright side of things whenever they’ve interacted. To see him so serious and so tired made him feel an even greater sense of urgency to figure out what was going on in Paris. Bruce moved to log off of the computer before Alya grabbed his arm, “Wait!” She moved one of the windows up to the center of the screen and they realized it was a live feed of one of the security cameras. She narrowed her eyes, “Is that-”

Bruce watched in disbelief along with the other kids in the room as his youngest and the girl of honor walked together down the halls, unusually close and attention solely on each other. “You know when Dick told me they were close, I didn’t think they were that close.”

“They’re close, but something’s different.” She hesitated turning on the sound, but ultimately rose the volume.

“-e’s not picking up.” Marinette groaned, “I just want to get this over with.”

“Considering we can’t find my brothers either, they’re probably all hanging out together.” He rubbed his neck and flinched.

Marinette looked him over and frowned, “I’m sorry, we should’ve-”

“Don’t apologize.” Damian rolled his head and smiled at her, “It was nice.” She returned the smile and the two leaned into each other.

A quick kiss between the two and Alya screeched, “SHE DIDN’T TELL ME!”

All the males in the room flinched and Markov just flittered around happily, “How sweet!”

Bruce turned to Adrien who just shrugged and stepped slowly away from the panting reporter, “Alya, she just said she was looking for us. She’s probably looking for us to tell us.”

Alya snarled, “NO! We have a code! If she were to ever get a boyfriend she needs to text me ‘Code Pink’ and I was supposed to march over and interrogate the guy. That’s been our plan since she was still crushing on you!”

Max pointed at her phone, “Did you check your messages?”

“Of course I-” She stopped and then frantically looked through her phone. Sure enough, a message from Marinette reading ‘Code Pink. Please don’t freak out too bad!’ She took a deep breath and nodded, “Okay. Okay, I missed the message. I won’t kill them.” She turned to Bruce and wagged her finger in his face, “Me and you are discussing this later, Bats. Right now, I’ve got to have a few words with your son.” She ran out of the room and the remaining three uttered apologizes before chasing after her.

He paused before he felt his phone vibrate and he answered the call, “Yes.”

Dick chuckled, “Nino was following you because of Alya. Jason and Tim are distracting him with some rhythm games in the arcade now. What was Alya doing?”

Bruce sighed, “Tell Tim he owes her an apology and some praise.”

Dick went silent for a few moments before scoffing, “You’re kidding.”

“I wish. First Tim figures me out and now a bunch of French teenagers? This is getting ridiculous.”

“Not your fault she’s just as stubborn as Tim.” Dick sighed, “So what now?”

“Right now, you’ll want to go look for Damian. He was last seen on the floor above you roaming through the halls.”

Dick sounded confused, “Why?”

“Alya may kill him.”

“Do I want to know why?”

“Let’s just say we saw something very interesting on the camera feed.” Dick didn’t respond and Bruce rolled his eyes, “Trust me, you’ll want to see this.”

Dick groaned and nodded, “Okay. Okay. Sure. We’ll talk later.” Dick turned back to his brothers and Nino playing a few games. He walked over and motioned for them to come follow him, “Come on, we got to go save Damian.”

Tim’s eyebrows furrowed, “What? Why?”

“Apparently Alya’s going to kill him.”

Nino blinked and pulled away from the game, “Why?”

“Don’t know, but Bruce said we wouldn’t want to miss this.” Jason shrugged and the three followed Dick as he led them upstairs. As they walked through the halls they could hear Alya yelling.

Nino made a face before running in front of the group, following her voice until he found Adrien and Max standing in between Alya, Damian, and Marinette. Nino could tell she wasn’t really angry, but she was feeling something intense. “Alya?”

Alya turned to the four and then made a grand gesture to Damian and Marinette, “Can you believe these two? Unbelievable! You are so lucky Chloe wasn’t with me otherwise we’d kick your-”

“As much as I love seeing Damian being yelled at, what is going on?” Jason’s voice cut through the commotion and the two teens in question flinched. The three brothers were slightly unnerved, Damian rarely flinched. Marinette poked her head out from behind Damian and waved nervously, “Marinette?”

“Um, well-” She looked to Damian for help and then suddenly pushed him forward, “You tell them. They’re your brothers.”

Damian glared at her before turning to his brothers and rubbing the back of his neck. “It would seem that our relationship has evolved.” His cheeks seemed to get the slightest hint of pink and Tim was the first to break the silence.

“No way, you actually did it? You actually got yourself a girlfriend?” The three brothers looked at each other before grinning and lunging at their brother.

Jason got Damian in a headlock and started messing with his hair, “We’re so proud of you! Seriously, who knew you had a heart!”

Damian growled and pulled out the headlock only to be jumped by Dick, “You’re growing up! You finally found love!”

Before Damian could say anything back Tim grabbed his shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes, “You are Damian, right? Not some weird clone Talia made?”

“IF YOU DON’T LET GO I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU!” Damian thrashed around in their grips and got nowhere as they continued to tease him until Dick felt a tap on his shoulder.

Dick turned to a very concerned looking Marinette, “I would prefer he’s in one piece, please.”

She lit up bright red when Dick picked her up with almost no effort, “You’re magic you know that!”

She sent Damian a look of uncertainty and laughed nervously, “Um, I also met Kory. She’s really nice!” The three brothers froze and Damian took the chance to get out of their grips. He walked over and helped Marinette down from Dick’s hold and pulled her closer to him. She gulped, “Did I say something wrong?”

Tim narrowed his eyes at Damian, “Who else did she meet?”

“She met the team.”

“So-”

“She knows.”

Before either Jason or Tim could say anything Dick spoke up, “Apparently she’s not the only one who knows.” Dick motioned to Alya and she stood, hands on her hips, proud and smirking at Tim.

Tim’s eyes widened, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Nino looked between the groups and smiled at Alya, “Dude! You were right!”

Marinette and Damian snapped their heads to Alya, “Right about Bruce?”

Alya nodded and high fived Nino as he ran over, “Heck yeah!” She nudged Max and Adrien, “These two helped me.”

“Max?” Marinette looked apologetic, “Oh, Max I’m sorry you got roped into this.”

“Honestly, this is going to be the highlight of this whole vacation. I mean, I’m helping the great big bat with an Akuma investigation!”

Damian narrowed his eyes at the boy, “What investigation?”

Alya and Adrien looked between each other before Adrien stepped up, “Marinette, the raiders that night were Akumas. We saw the police footage, they disappear exactly the same way Akumas do after Ladybug releases the butterfly.” He could tell gears were beginning to turn in her head, “Marinette-”

Marinette shook her head, “No. No way.” She began pacing, “No, no, no, no.” Damian knew the reason why but everyone else seemed concerned for the girl. She suddenly turned to Tim, “Hey, did you send the list of all French passengers on the ship?”

Tim blinked and looked at his phone, “I thought Damian asked me for that.”

“We both did. Did you do it or not, Drake?” Damian walked over and looked Marinette in the eyes, a conversation passing between them as she bit her thumb’s nail. He sighed and turned back to his brothers, “Drake?”

“Sent.” A notification went off on both of their phones and they began walking off. “Hey-”

“Tell Father, we’re doing a bit of our own investigation. For now, the rest of you inform Chloe and start looking through all the files.”

Adrien ran up and grabbed Marinette arm, “Marinette, later we’ll have to talk.”

“Adrien-”

His voice got low and he whispered, “Princess, we have to talk.”

Marinette froze for a second before finally nodding, “I’ll text you later tonight.” She turned back to Damian and the two continued walking down the hallway, leaving behind a very concerned and confused friend group.

Damian looked over at Marinette’s stern expression and sighed, “This doesn’t prove anything.”

“Damian, you and I both know we were out in the water when that happened. There’s no way that’s a rouge Akuma. He’s on the ship.” Damian’s lips pressed into a hard line as Marinette walked to the nearest dining area. She sat herself down at the nearly empty bar and began looking through the files.

Damian sat next to her, looked around the room for anyone who could possibly be listening in, then looked through his phone. “That doesn’t mean he knows.”

“Why else would he-”

“A very rich man and his sons are on a ship worth hundreds of millions of dollars. An attack here could prove valuable to anyone with the right motive.”

“But he’s has never wanted money. He’s looking for me, he has to be!”

“Will you two quiet down?” The two turned their attention to the redhead at the bar sitting on the other end. The redhead looked up at the couple and glared, “Have you no mercy for those suffering hangovers?”

“It’s Thursday. Why the hell were you drinking so much on a Wednesday?”

She frowned and turned to the two, heavy Irish accent dripping with every word, “Because I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is cheating on me!” She let her head drop back down onto the bar’s counter as she groaned. Marinette and Damian looked at each other and, despite Damian shaking his head and aggressively mouthing the word ‘No’, Marinette walked over and rubbed the woman’s back.

“I’m sorry. That must hurt so much.”

The lady sniffed and turned her head to face Marinette. She paused before raising her head, “I know you.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, “I know. I’m the one that wrote the essay.”

“No, no. I know you.” The woman stared Marinette down as Marinette stepped back a few steps and Damian stood next to her. “I was the one who moved you into your room.”

Marinette blinked and tilted her head in confusion, “But I don’t remember your-”

“My accent? Yeah, the manager doesn’t like it. Told me to speak like a true American or I would be demoted.” She shook her head and scoffed, “Such an ass.”

Damian frowned, “Oh really, what manager is that?”

She snorted, “Manager of residential life. He looks over everything involving passengers who are staying on the boat for extended periods of time.” She shook her head, “He doesn’t even do his job either. I did most of the work for you and your class.”

Marinette frowned and gave her shoulder a small squeeze, “If it makes you feel better, I prefer this accent. Sounds real and it’s a lot more memorable.”

The woman smiled at Marinette and held out her hand, “Name’s Tess. From Limerick.”

Marinette shook her hand eagerly, “Marinette, from Paris.”

Damian sent a few texts and held out his hand, “Damian, Gotham.”

The lady shook it and laughed, “You know you look like Bruce’s runt.”

Damian glared at Tess and sternly said, “I’m not a runt.”

Tess waved her hand as she looked at the empty glass in her hand, “Yeah. Yeah. Do you know how to make drinks kid?” Marinette covered her mouth to keep from laughing while Damian begrudgingly took the glass and made his way behind the bar. Tess smiled, “Now that’s a good man!” She turned to Marinette wiggled her eyebrows, “Lucky lass, aren’t you?”

Marinette blushed and nodded, “I guess I am.” The two laughed and Damian set down the new drink in front of Tess.

Tess held up the glass and glared, “This is water.”

“I’m fifteen, lady. What did you expect?” He smirked, “Besides you need to sober up.”

Tess glared at the boy before reluctantly sipping her water, “Smart kid.” She turned back to Marinette, “So what were you two talking about? You got a stalker or something?”

Marinette sighed, “In a way.”

Tess held a look of pity, “Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry.” She turned to Damian and waved her hand, “And what the hell are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be fighting for her honor or something?”

Damian rolled his eyes, “We don’t even know if he’s on the boat.”

“He has to be!” Marinette stared at her lap as she played with the hem of her shirt, “I mean-”

Tess held her shoulders and turned Marinette to look her in the eye, “Women have great intuition when it comes to these things. If you feel unsafe, you probably are.” Tess smiled sadly at the girl in front of her and gave her cheek a few pats, “Oh you’re so pretty. That must be hard.”

Marinette smiled, “Not really! I mean, I’ve only ever been attacked a few times-”

Both Tess and Damian snapped their heads to look at her and asked, “Wait, what? By who?”

Marinette pursed her lips together in a line, “A few people. All because of-“ She gulped as she worded her next line carefully, “- all because of the guy. He wants something from me, but I won’t give it to him. I never will.”

Tess bit her lip and looked at her glass, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.” She stared at her glass for a moment before chugging it down and slamming the glass onto the counter, catching the attention of everyone in the room when it shattered. She just blinked a few times and then looked at her bleeding hand, “Aw, crap.”

Marinette jumped off her chair, her words coming out incoherent and panicked, and left to grab a cloth napkin while Damian took her hand. He looked for any large shards that may be making the bleeding worse. He cursed under his breath and scolded her, “What were thinking? I know you’re hungover, but are you really that far gone that you forgot glass breaks?” He shook his head, “There aren’t any big pieces or anything, but you cut yourself bad. Go to the nurse or something.” Marinette came running back with a clean cloth and started carefully wrapping Tess’s hand.

Marinette shook her head, “What on earth was going through your head? This is glass! You could’ve seriously hurt yourself!”

Tess looked between the two before beginning to laugh. Marinette finished wrapping her hand and looked over to Damian for answers. He shrugged and they waited for her to calm down. She waved her hand between the two of them, “You two!” She wiped a tear from her eyes, “Did you guys rehearse that?” She sniffed and sighed, “Oh, Lord, I haven’t laughed like that for weeks.”

The two teens frowned at that statement and Marinette placed a hand on Tess’s shoulder, “Anything we can do?”

“Hey, don’t worry about me. I’m worried about you.” She smiled, “If he’s on this ship, I’ll know. I’ve taken care of all the European passengers on this ship. If you have anyone you want to look into, call me.”

Damian looked surprised before leaning over the counter, careful to avoid the shattered glass, “Do you know if any older male passengers boarded the ship when Marinette and her class did?”

Tess thought for a second and snapped her fingers, “Yes, but he’s American. He was on a business trip.” Damian frowned and started to clean off the counter before Tess hummed, “Does it have to be right when you boarded?”

Marinette shook her head, “No, I guess not.”

“There was a couple who got onto the ship a few days before you did when we were at a different port.” She paused for a moment to think, “He looked very professional and I couldn’t tell if the woman was his lover or his secretary. Probably both.” She looked at Marinette concerned, “Wait, your stalker is an older fella? What kind of pedophile-“

“Marinette?” Damian watched as she pondered over the new information and her eyes darted around along with the thoughts in her head.

Marinette’s eyes widened and she mumbled, “Mayura.”

“Hm?”

Marinette shook her head, “Nothing. Where are they now?”

Tess thought before groaning, “I need my clipboard to tell you that.”

Damian looked at Tess, “You know you could get into serious trouble for this. This is a breach of privacy.”

Tess glared at Damian, “Are you really going to tell me you’re going to tell my manager for helping your girlfriend?”

Damian smirked, “No. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing.” Damian looked at his phone and looked back up at Tess, “As far as I’m concerned you are in need of a promotion and a raise for helping us out.”

Tess rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah, like that’s going to happen.” She looked at her wrapped hand and frowned, “I need to go to the nurse first.”

Marinette smiled, “You want us to come along?”

“No, Marinette, you stay with your man. I’ll come find you later tonight. You’ll be in your room around 6, right?”

“We can be.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Damian spoke up, “Can you tell us the names of the couple?”

Tess turned back to the boy and hummed, “I think the last name started with an A. I’ll have to check.”

Damian shook his head, “No need. We’ll see you tonight.” Tess nodded and headed out of the room, leaving the two teens at the bar. Damian scrolled through the list Tim sent him, “The only A names are Aaron, Azreth, and Agreste. Unless Adrien is Hawkmoth, I say we check out the other two.”

Marinette shook her head, “No, I know for a fact he isn’t.” She sat back down and let her head fall onto the counter, a small smack could be her from where her head made contact. Damian poked her and she turned her head, “What?”

“You okay there?”

“No.”

“At least you’re honest.” Damian handed Marinette a glass of water and she smiled. He leaned against the counter and scowled, “When you talked about Hawkmoth with Tess just now, the way you worded your situation-“

“What about it? I couldn’t exactly tell her I’m being chased by a supervillain.”

Damian shook his head, “No, it just didn’t sit well with me. Even worse than the actual situation sits with me. You make it sound like a creepy old man is trying to force you to sleep with him.”

She shuttered, “Oh god, no. If that ever happens, my mom would murder the man.”

“I’ll help her. I’m trained to do so anyway.” She glared at Damian, but he kept a serious expression. “I’m serious. He’s forcing people to do things they don’t want to do. They don’t remember any of what happened. And all of it is because he’s trying to take care of his own needs.”

Marinette scrunched up her nose and scowled, “When you put it that way, yes he sounds like a monster.”

“He is a monster.”

“But even worse.” She sighed and looked around the room, “You know when I got on this boat I took comfort in the fact that Hawkmoth’s Akumas wouldn’t get to me. Now I don’t even have that anymore.”

Damian grabbed Marinette’s hand and rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. He leaned in close and whispered, “We’ll figure this out. You got Robin on your side, which means Batman and the rest are soon to follow.”

She smiled and poked him, “Ah yes, the son of the dark knight. How could I forget?” She giggled, “So I’m assuming your brothers are also-“

“Yes.”

“Of course.” She shook her head and giggled, “That makes total sense.”

“What about your friends? Are any of them miraculous holders? I know Chloe’s Queen Bee but-“

“I actually can’t answer that. At least not right now. Me telling you about Ladybug is one thing, but if anyone else on this boat is a miraculous holder I can’t say.”

“You know about my family.”

“Yeah, but I doubt you would’ve told me. Alya found you guys out.” Damian didn’t say anything to argue with the statement, only proving Marinette’s point. Marinette took a few sips of her water, “We should investigate tonight.”

“Okay. Tess at 6, leave by 6:30. We’ll have to research their routines first though to see if they leave their rooms at all. We can use the main computer downstairs to look at the security footage.”

“We should split up. It’s easier to sneak around on your own than it is with two people.”

Damian shook his head, “No way. I’m going with you.”

“No, we need to figure this out as soon as possible. It’d be easier to just look through both rooms tonight separately than searching through the rooms together over the course of two days.” Damian still looked hesitant and she smiled at him, “I’ll be-“

“DUPAIN-CHENG!” The two turned to see Chloe fuming at the entranceway and the couple tensed. She stomped over and wagged her finger in Marinette’s face, “How many times do I have to tell you, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME IN PERSON IF ANYTHING BIG HAPPENS!” She pointed at Damian behind the bar, “So why on earth do I have to hear from Alya that you started DATING DAMIAN WAYNE?” Marinette seemed to shrink the louder Chloe got and she smiled shamefully. Chloe looked between the two and groaned, fixing her ponytail and taking a few breaths. “I’m very happy for you, but I feel left out.”

Marinette sighed and hugged Chloe, “Sorry, we just had something urgent to take care of.”

Chloe lowered her voice and pointed at Damian, “You mean regarding the fact that your boyfriend’s dad dresses like nocturnal furry?”

Damian choked and glared at the blonde, “One, will you keep it down? I know there are only like four people in here but you catch people’s attention. Two, he does not!” Marinette giggled, earning a glare before he turned back to Chloe. “Alya told us the raid was caused by an Akuma.”

Chloe paused for a moment before biting her lip, “Well, that’s not good.” She thought for a moment and looked between the two, “So he may be on the ship?”

“It’s a theory.”

“If you need me for anything, I’ll do what I can. I’ll keep track of the gossip on the ship and see if any stories seem suspicious. I’ve gotten close with a few of the crew members since we got on the ship.”

Damian blinked, “You and the servants? Who knew?”

Chloe glared, “Just because you’re a Wayne doesn’t make you untouchable, Damian.” Damian rolled his eyes at the hollow threat and she turned back to Marinette, “Stay away from Lila.”

“Lila?”

“She gets under your skin. I don’t want to have to face you as an Akuma.” Marinette nodded and Chloe pulled away from the two, “I’ll let you know if I hear anything.” She waved and left the room, leaving the couple in silence as they imagined how bad an akumatized Marinette could be.

Damian shuttered, “You’d kick ass as an Akuma, but I’d rather not fight you.”

Marinette smiled and shook her head, “I almost was akumatized a few times. The closest call I had was when I was about to take off my earrings. I snapped out of it right before that happened. After that, I started to just push down everything. If what I felt could lead to loosing Ladybug, then I’d rather not feel at all.”

Damian left the bar and walked over to Marinette’s side, “You know that isn’t healthy.”

“Doesn’t matter, I can’t afford to lose.” He grabbed her hand and she looked up at him with a soft smile on her face, “We should go and look over the security footage. We need to prepare for tonight.” He nodded and started leading her through the hallways and stairwells to a room where Bruce stood over a large computer. Marinette knocked on the doorframe and Bruce turned to look at the couple. He smiled at the two and straightened himself out.

“Well, well, look at the two love-”

“Don’t.” Damian walked over to the computer, pushing past Bruce and clicking on various windows on the monitor.

Marinette shook her head and walked over to Bruce, “How are you? We haven’t seen you in a while.”

Bruce smiled, “I’m fine. Tired. I’ve been looking over the footage for over a week and Alya figured it out after watching it once.” He rubbed his eyes, “I’m losing my touch.”

“It would seem so, Father. Time to retire?” Bruce glared at Damian, who just smirked to himself as he pulled up a few pieces of footage and the Ladyblog. Marinette hit his shoulder lightly, trying not to laugh for Bruce’s sake, and turned her attention to the screen. “This seems to be the right video.”

He expanded the window and played back the footage of the raiders disappeared and Marinette pointed at the screen. “Wait, rewind it a few seconds and pause.” Damian did as instructed and Marinette pointed at one of the boys. “That one. That’s the one Captain Staller shot, isn’t it?”

Damian nodded, “Looks like it. It’s even his left leg too.”

Marinette looked around the boys’ cell, “Where’s the akumatized object?”

“The what?”

“The akumatized object.” She grabbed the mouse away from Damian and pulled up the Ladyblog. She pulled up some videos of previous Akuma’s and forwarded the fight videos to when they would capture the Akumas. “See? All Akumas need a catalyst. They usually enter an object of interest on the person to possess the person. Ladybug and Cat Noir have to figure out what it is to release and capture the Akuma.” She pulled back up the previous window and played back the kids returning to normal, “Now look. There’s no akumatized object on either of them. Nothing broke.”

“Do the akumatized objects have to break for the Akuma to leave?”

“Not always, but we should’ve been able to see an Akuma flying away from the boys. They aren’t that fast.”

“Meaning the object wasn’t on the kids.” Damian hummed, “What were the police able to confiscate?”

Bruce looked through some of his files and pulled out a picture of a plastic bag. “They wouldn’t give me the evidence, but they allowed me to take a photo.”

Marinette looked at the photo and shuttered. She examined the photo of the odd gun and licked her lips, “I didn’t notice this before.”

“Didn’t notice what?”

She pointed at the gun’s barrel, “Look, there are three different types of ‘bullets’. Red, green, and white.” She thought for a moment and gulped, “We know green had the laughing gas.”

Bruce went to go grab some more photos from the raid and pulled out ones documenting the rooms where there were explosions. He pointed at one of the photos, “So this red residue must be from the red chamber.”

“Then what does white do?” Damian looked up at Bruce and asked, “Do we have any photos of the boys after they turned back?”

Bruce thought for a second before pulling out two photos. Marinette didn’t like the idea of two boys taking mug shots, especially when one was injured, but it was evidence. She looked at the one with the injured leg and studied him carefully until she found a picture of him from behind, “There. White residue.” She pointed at a small dot of white on the back of the boy’s shirt and hummed, “Okay, so let’s say white turns people into raiders. Where did the others come from then?”

Bruce frowned, “More importantly, where are they now? If the boys are back to normal, then shouldn’t there be more people in that cell?”

Damian looked over the footage and zoomed in on the floor surrounding the boys. The footage was grainy, but there were clearly things surrounding them once they transformed back. “What if it’s not just people? What if the white bullets just make henchmen in general?”

Bruce pulled out his phone and walked over to the other side of the room, “Excuse me, I need to make some calls.”

Marinette started to get frustrated and mumbled to herself, “Where are you now?”

“Where’s who now?” She looked up and found herself looking up at Adrien, Alya, and the others. “Figured something out?”

Damian scoffed, “Yes, we did. What took you guys so long?”

“Alya and Tim were arguing about what her prize would be.”

Tim growled, “I’m not giving her a prize because I still can prove Marinette is Ladybug!”

“Give it a rest already!” Alya walked over to Marinette’s side, “I love my girl here, but she’s not Ladybug. I would know.” Damian bit his lip to keep from laughing and turned away from the group. Marinette just rolled her eyes and hugged Alya. Alya happily accepted, “Not to say you wouldn’t make a good Ladybug, though. You would totally rock at superhero business.”

Adrien looked over to Nino and pouted, “Why can’t we be like that?”

Nino rolled his eyes and pulled Adrien into a hug, “You’re so needy.” The two boys snickered as they pulled away and joined the girls as they gathered around the table.

Dick turned to his brothers, “Now, why can’t we be-”

A collective “No” resonated in the room, making Dick grumble as they listened to Marinette’s explanation on how they think the gun works. Jason hummed, “Given the weird style of the thing I’d say the akumatized object was some kind of dart gun. Look, the chambers are stupid wide and there’s a pump when this is supposed to be a pistol.”

Bruce walked back over and nodded, “Jason’s right. After the boys turned back the gun in the bag turned out to be a toy.”

“And the stuff on the floor?”

“Action figures.”

Alya hummed, “So kind of like a mix between Befena and Puppeteer. Interesting.”

“How so?”

Alya motioned for Tim and the others to gather around the computer as she pulled up more footage, “If you look at previous Akumas, they’ve all had one kind of power set. At least most of them have. Befena is one of the few that could do two different things, turn people to coal or transform them into her army of angels. Puppeteer, on the other hand, had the ability to control any sort of toy, statue, etc. It’s interesting that this Akuma is a bit of a mix with more complex powers.”

Chloe crossed her arms, “Okay, but that doesn’t really give us much to work on. So what if this one had one extra power? The other ones have been normal. Probably just a fluke.”

“Or his powers are evolving.” The group turned to Adrien as he thought, “No seriously, he’s been at this for years. Who’s to say he’s not getting stronger?”

Nino shuttered and shook his head, “Don’t even say that, dude. I don’t want to put that out there.”

Damian turned to Adrien, “Besides, Chloe’s right the others have been relatively normal. I agree it could’ve been a fluke.”

“What if it isn’t, though?” Marinette eyes darted between everyone in the group, fearful and tense, “Guys, when this Akuma attacked we were out on open waters.”

“So?”

Tim’s eyes widened, “That’s why you asked for the list. You think he’s on the ship.”

Marinette’s expression only hardened and she gripped onto the chair in front of her. Adrien looked her over and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, “Marinette-”

She stepped away and started pacing, “What if he is getting stronger? What if he’s the reason everyone on this ship is acting so weird?”

“What do you mean?”

Damian looked at the group and spoke as if this was common knowledge, “You guys haven’t noticed? Everyone’s on edge. Tim lashed out at us. People have been fighting with their good friends. Hell, even the captain says his depression’s getting worse.” He stared at the photo of Hawkmoth on top of the Eifel Tower and resisted the urge to crumple it up. “It would make sense he’s on this ship. Most of the cities we’ve gone to have been attacked, as well as the ship itself, while Paris has had a quiet streak.”

Jason shook his head, “Why the hell is he on the ship, though?” Adrien and Marinette locked eyes for a brief moment, panic passing between the two as they debated saying anything at all.

Adrien gulped, “Probably because-”

“It’s me.” Everyone turned to Marinette and she tensed up, clearly going off of impulse instead of logic. “It’s me, guys.” Damian narrowed his eyes at her as everyone waited with baited breath. She reached into her purse and made eye contact with Tikki. Tikki was about to fly out when she gently pushed her out of the way and pulled out a familiar red and black box. She opened it and a bright light flashed in the room before everyone came to notice a small horse-like creature flying around the room. “Kaalki-”

She floated around the room before landing on Damian’s head. Her British accent was present in every word, “Now these are holders I approve of. Clearly noble blood. Which one am I working with?”

Marinette shook her head and motioned for Kaalki to return to her. Kaalki rolled her eyes before floating back over to the girl and sitting on her shoulder. Marinette turned back to the group and figured she should’ve expected these reactions. Her friends were not necessarily impressed, rather they were simply taking in the appearance of the kwami. However, most of the Wayne family wore various expressions of shock on their faces. Damian didn’t outwardly react, but she could tell he still was intrigued by Kaalki’s appearance. “Ladybug gave me the horse miraculous because she knew our class has been an epicenter for Akumas since Hawkmoth first appeared. If she ever needed to come over for whatever reason, I was supposed to hide, transform, and make a portal for her and Cat Noir.”

“So every time you disappeared during an Akuma attack you-” Marinette nodded and Tim groaned, “Damn it!”

Alya ran over and bounced on the balls of her feet, “You’re a hero. You’re a hero! You’re a hero!” She squealed and spun Marinette around, nearly making her trip. “Yes! I knew it was only a matter of time!”

Marinette snorted as she rebalanced herself and Nino patted her back. Nino beamed, “Dude! You’ve been doing great!”

Chloe and Adrien shared a look before smiling softly at the girl. Adrien looked visibly relieved at her explanation and sent a thumbs up. However, the other men in the room looked disapprovingly at her. She pulled away from Alya and took back a serious demeanor. She coughed, “Um-”

“I mean I get it. Still, why the hell would she choose a kid?”

“I’m with Jason on this one. That’s not fair to put that on you while you’re on vacation. Precaution or not they should’ve given it to a teacher.” Dick’s expression was unusually grim, making Marinette shrink under his gaze.

Damian pushed forward and glared back at the oldest. It wasn’t unusual for Damian to challenge the others, but they were surprised that he wasn’t mad on Marinette’s behalf with them. Damian's voice was stern and unwavering, “Well, for whatever reason she has one of these things. If this Hawkmoth even had the slightest suspicion there was a miraculous on the boat, of course he would board.”

Bruce nodded, “That’s true. Your class winning the competition made headlines, so he would definitely know about you all being on the ship.”

“But does he know you have it specifically?” Jason stared between Kaalki and Marinette, “Does he know Marinette Dupain-Cheng has the horse miraculous?”

“I don’t know.”

Tim shook his head, “I doubt it. I mean, he may know it’s on the ship but I doubt he knows who has it. Otherwise he would’ve been targeting you from the beginning.”

Chloe waved her hand and scoffed, “You say that as if he’s going by his normal pattern. He hasn’t been talking to any of his Akumas lately. He’s clearly trying to smoke out Ladybug and Cat Noir.”

Bruce turned to the blonde and frowned, “Chloe has a point. He’s trying to make them run out of time outside of Paris. Get them away from their usual playing field, make them disoriented in a different country and use it against them.”

Chloe nodded and turned back to the computer screen. “So if that’s what he’s getting at, then he’s probably going to send out another Akuma tomorrow when we dock. It’s obvious what we should do.”

Nino raised an eyebrow, almost not believing he’s hearing this all from the mayor’s daughter, “And what do we do, Queenie?”

She turned to the Wayne family and pointed at them, “We send them out first. That’ll confuse the heck out of Hawkmoth. If we do what we did last time where some of us kept watch for possible akumatized objects while Alya films for Ladybug we won’t have to worry about them possibly running out of time. They can just swoop in and get the Akuma while they act as a distraction and buy time.”

“We can’t ask them to do that!” The room turned to Marinette and she shook her head, “You forget, they don’t have magic to keep them safe. You know how dangerous Akumas can be! They could get hurt!”

Dick’s face deadpanned and his voice was monotone, “You realize we’ve been at this since before you guys were born, right?”

Jason walked over to Marinette and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Yeah! You don’t have to worry about us, we’ve faced threats way worse than some of these guys!”

Marinette’s eyes widened and Tim was quick to reassure, “What he means is that we’re seasoned heroes. Yes, we’ve fought a lot of bad guys, but we’re still here! We know what we’re doing!”

“Unlike you.” The group turned to Bruce who still looked disgruntled, “It frustrates me that you were just given this responsibility. You’re a child.”

Dick rolled his eyes, “Look who’s calling the kettle black.”

The three boys snickered and Bruce glared, “I gave you all choices and trained you. I gave you this opportunity because it was the best path to take for all of you to grow and heal from your pasts.” He then pointed at the third Robin, “Except Tim, Tim found me and asked for this.” Tim nodded smugly and Bruce motioned to Marinette, “What does she gain from this? She doesn’t have training, she doesn’t have trauma to heal from, and she doesn’t need this.” He turned to the kids and sighed, “None of you do. This mess should’ve been taken care of by people who were qualified. Not a bunch of kids!”

Adrien stepped up and raised his voice, “With all due respect, for what they’ve been handed they’ve been doing the best they can. All of the heroes have been doing the best they can. Paris is still standing, the world hasn’t seen disaster from Hawkmoth’s influence, and we’re still here too!”

Alya nodded, “Adrien’s right. Ladybug and Cat Noir may not have Batman to handpick and train them, but they stepped up! They are doing what you did, without all the assets or support! They’re great heroes and I refuse to stand here and let you bash them like that!”

“Besides, Marinette is the best choice out of all of us to be handed that miraculous, anyway.” Chloe flipped back her ponytail and crossed her arms, “She’s the only one who hasn’t been akumatized. Plus, as much as I hate to admit it, she’s just as clever and resourceful as Ladybug. She made the right call!”

Marinette froze in the middle of a staredown between the Gotham heroes and the Paris ones. She backed away and looked between the two, feeling the tension rise, and she suddenly needed air. She felt someone grab her arm and pull her away towards the door. She looked up at Damian, wearing an unreadable expression on his face, and slammed the door behind him. As he turned a corner they bumped into someone and as soon as he recognized the person he scowled. “What do you want?”

Lila rubbed her nose, “Ow. If you must know, Ms. Bustier has been looking for Bruce to talk about the arrangements for tomorrow. Markov said I might find him down here, but I got lost in this maze of a floor!” She huffed and crossed her arms, “Seriously, not very hospitable.” She blinked, noticing the figure behind him, and leaned to the side to get a better look, “Marinette?”

Marinette tensed and started to walk past her, keeping her eyes trained on the ground in front of her. She didn’t look back when she heard Damian slap his hand around Lila’s wrist and warn her against following them. Marinette practically ran up the steps and ran to the middle of the main deck. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and mumbled to herself, “Four counts in, four counts hold, four counts out.”

She took a few more breaths before opening her eyes and taking in the scenery around them. She realized she was standing near the main lounging area and noticed a bunch of her other classmates playing around and swimming in the pool. Damian walked up next to her, but before he could say anything she thought out loud, “We’re never going to be like that are we?”

Damian looked around, “Like what?”

“Normal.” She grabbed his arm and leaned onto him, “They’re here just on normal vacation. Not sitting downstairs in a dark room arguing about heroes and villains and responsibilities.”

Damian shook his head, “No, we’re-”

“Heads up!” Suddenly they were wet. Soaking wet. The two turned around, startled and confused, only to be faced with Kim holding an empty bucket surrounded by Alix, Max, Markov, Ivan, and Mylène. Kim wore a smug look on his face while the others laughed.

It took a few moments before Marinette finally snapped, “Kim, what did you-”

“Max and Markov told us you guys finally decided to go out! We didn’t have any rice or anything so we improvised!”

Damian glared, “That’s for weddings, imbecile!”

Kim looked back and laughed, “You’re right, he does use big words.”

“I told you!” Alix stepped up, jumped, and wrapped her arms around the couple’s shoulders. “Seriously though, congratulations! We were wondering who our dear class president would finally end up with. We just didn’t think it’d be you!”

Mylène just rolled her eyes and patted Marinette’s shoulder, “We’re just excited for you.” Ivan nodded and then glared at Damian, “Oh, also we’re here to intimidate him. You know how these things go.”

Marinette stepped in between the group and Damian and spread out her arms, “No! No more interrogations! Alya practically yelled our ears off this morning!”

“Oh, that’s why she was yelling. We just thought she found out a new thing about Ladybug or something.” Alix snickered, “Good for her, but we’re not done yet.”

Marinette growled, “Nuh-uh. Nope. Not happening! I just got a boyfriend and I am NOT letting you all scare him off!”

Damian blinked, taken aback by her words, before smirking and putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine. Not like any of them are intimidating to me.”

Alix glared, “You take that back, Wayne!”

“No, but this is seriously so rud-” The sudden stop made Damian turn to Marinette, only to find her staring at him like he grew two heads. He raised an eyebrow at her, confused, and tried to move away slowly. He thought it may have been something behind him, but her eyes followed him wherever he moved.

“Marinette?”

She blinked, snapping out of whatever trance she was in, and a wave of red washed over her face and neck. She growled and started pointing at him, “THAT’S WHAT YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT HAIR GEL?” She snarled, “OH COME ON!”

Damian frowned, incredibly confused, “What did I do?”

“You- YOU-“ She lunged at him, “YOU CAN’T KEEP GETTING BETTER LOOKING! THAT’S NOT FAIR!” Damian dodged out of the way and then grabbed her arms when she reached for his hair. She huffed and glared at him, “What else are you hiding? You have cute glasses too, huh? I need to be mentally prepared for these things!” She got more and more red, if possible, the longer she yelled, “If this keeps happening and you keep getting better looking, I’m going to be a mess! It’ll be a complete DISASTER!”

Damian finally took note of the hair falling around his face. He was told it look similar to Dick’s hair when he was younger in the way it framed his face. Definitely takes away the professional appearance Damian was keen on keeping, but if he could get her this flustered by letting it be every once in a while might not be a bad thing. He turned back to the girl, “Marine-”

Marinette twisted her herself out of his grip and jumped on his back, “Let me mess with your hair!”

Damian stumbled around, “Marinette, get off!”

She ran her fingers through his hair in an attempt to turn it back to what she was familiar with. “Not until you get back to a tolerable level of attractiveness!”

He struggled to keep balance and looked over at her friend group, who were practically crying in laughter at the whole thing. Her movements made him take one step too many to the right and the two lost complete balance and found themselves falling into the pool. Damian came up first, soon followed by Marinette who swam immediately to the edge and jumped out. He watched her, afraid she was going to try something else, but noticed that she was hugging herself and was shaking. He got out, grabbed a towel from the nearest towel rack, and wrapped it around her. “Marinette, you okay?”

She turned to him, fear clear in her eyes, and she flinched away from his touch before recognizing him. She gulped and shook her head, “I’m fine. Just,” She paused and took a shaky breath, “Brought up bad memories.” Suddenly taking an unexpected dive into the water brought her back to the night of the raid. The spot on her cheek that the raider kissed felt on fire and her heart raced as the next moments flashed before her eyes.

Damian sighed and moved hair away from her face, “Let’s get changed, otherwise we’re going to get sick.”

Mylène and Alix walked up, the group long since stopped laughing when they saw Marinette scramble to get out of the water, and looked over the girl. Mylène smiled at Damian, “We’ll take her back to her room and get her cleaned up. We’ll see you at dinner.”

Damian nodded and placed a small kiss on the top of her head, “Okay. See you around 4?”

She blinked, pink coming back to her cheeks, and nodded as she was led away by two of her friends. Damian watched as they walked past Lila, finally coming back after finding the others and talking to his father, and she smirked as soon as she knew they couldn’t see her. When she turned back, the two locked eyes and Damian felt his anger rising just looking at the girl. He was about to step towards her before Ivan put a hand on his arm. Kim grinned, “Woah! We still gotta talk!”

Damian sighed, “About?”

Ivan smiled, “Sorry about the mean look. The girls are adamant about us talking to you and playing bad cops.”

Max adjusted his glasses, “Which is odd because they’d more likely be bad cops in this situation.”

Damian pinched the bridge of his nose and suddenly felt exhausted. “Who else do I have to worry about? So far, Alya, Chloe, Alix, and Mylène have all yelled at me. Who else?”

Max shrugged, “I mean I doubt Rose or Juleka would yell at you, they’ll be super happy for you guys. Kagami though is a different story.”

“The fencer?”

“Oh yeah, but you don’t have to worry about her until you arrive in Paris.” Kim snickered, “Oh man and that’s not even counting her family! Her grandmother is great, but I’d hate to see her mad.”

Ivan nodded, “That’s not even counting Jagged Stone, Fang, or Penny.”

Damian groaned, “At least her parents like me.”

“WOAH!” Kim grabbed Damian’s shoulders, “You met the parents? Dude!”

Damian shrugged his hands off and stepped back, “I met them back when we first explored Spain and we’ve only talked a few times since.”

“So what’d they do when you told them you guys were dating? You know they’ve been just as eager to see her date someone as her friends, right?” Max watched as Damian paled slightly, “You haven’t told them yet.”

Damian glared and got defensive, “This happened last night, we haven’t exactly had the time!”

Ivan laughed and patted Damian’s back with more force than he was expecting. He made Damian lurch forward with every pat, “Don’t worry. They’re really nice.”

Markov fluttered around the boy, “You know Damian, you’ve become much more sociable since this trip started. When we first met you, you didn’t really talk to anyone outside of Marinette and her close friends.”

“Yeah, and you kept calling us by our last names for some reason.” Kim wore a stern demeanor and pointed at Damian, “Wayne.” He immediately broke character and laughed. “Seriously though, you’re like one of us now!”

Damian blinked at the statement, “What?”

“Yeah, Damian. We need to hang out more before the trip is over.” Ivan chuckled, “If you can get away from Marinette.”

Damian gulped, not really knowing how to feel about all of this. A part of him, deep down, was actually happy. This class just welcomed him and he felt a normalcy he couldn’t even get from Jon when they were in school together. Jon knew he was a hero and went with him to go crime-fighting. While Jon gave him a friend for life, it wasn’t a normal relationship due to their abilities and duties. These kids only knew him as Damian and couldn’t care less about who his family was. The name Wayne meant nothing to them, they just cared about Damian and it was both refreshing and thought-provoking for him. He spent his whole life looking down on these types of people. Those who didn’t have to worry like he did, fight like he did, or survive like he did. They just lived and he finally got a taste of what it meant to simply be 15 with other kids his age.

However, he felt like an imposter. There was a reason he didn’t get close to normal people, he wasn’t one of them. He could never be one of them. His breeding, his training, his past, his future, all of it ruled against anything normal. He couldn’t have this, but admitting that meant he couldn’t have Marinette either. Despite being Ladybug, this was her world. One she grew up in, one she helped shape and improve, and one he couldn’t ever corrupt.

Damian forced himself to give the boys a polite smile, “We’ll see. But for now, I have to go change. See you later.” They waved their goodbyes and went back to having their fun as Damian’s mind raced. While she walked the line between hero life and normal life, she would forever be tethered by that promise of things going back to the way they were before Hawkmoth and before Ladybug. He could never have that. He was forever bound by his demons and his bloodline. Bound to be a vigilante for as long as he could stay alive or until his darkness took over, something he didn’t ever wish for but knew was a possibility.

Marinette’s words rang in his head, “How is this going to work?”

He didn’t know and it made him sick.

*******************************************************************************************

So we begin Act 2 of Seabourne Burnouts! Congratulations on making it this far! We’re in for an interesting ride!

ALSO: There is a new thing about tags for this ship and Maribat au in general! Please read this [post]! I have added the new tags suggested here and will continue to not use the names of the characters and the shows/franchises! Please REBLOG and Thank You! 

To those who want more Seabourne Burnouts content, @itawonka-creates is specifically dedicated to my writing (which is just this story rn) so you can just follow the blog and set it up to be notified just in case the tags do not work!

Tag List (Bitch I have a tag list whAT!?!?!):

@maribat-archive @ozmav @thornangelic727@imfreakingmagical@constancetruggle @chloe-bourgeois-is-big-gay@someone-ev   @zazzlejazzle @tinybrie @mewwitch @rhub4rb@saphiraazure2708 @never-neverland @unholykrow @slytherinhquinn @literallytryingmybestbutok @redscarlet95 @grimmhallow31 @fandomkitten9653 @myriad-of-passionate-pettiness @fanboy7794 @mystifiedgal @shizukiryuu @ vixen-uchiha @resignedcatservant @mystery-5-5 @miraculousl4dybug @blackcanary13 @origamieater @moonlitarchangels @mochinek0 @imfreakingmagical @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @derpingrainbow @unabashedbookworm @skyel0ve @northernbluetongue @cadencehood @sizzling-fairy-oil @crazylittlemunchkin @saphiraazure2708 @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @ginamarie1512 @kae690 @ivette0712 @zalladane @ellerahs @auradonfairy @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @scribblinggraveyard @nyctamaximoff @snow-swordswoman @maude-zarella @thebookwormfairy @melicmusicmagic @zalladane @ivette0712 @ginamarie1512  @bookreader20003 @silvergold-swirl @celestiacq @themcclan @amethyst-starr5 @tamoni112 @lunar-wolf-warrior @alexzandria-747 @nataladriana9 @moonlitarchangels @iglowinggemma28 @hunter-shyreen @mermaidofthelost @jessigurl-design @vgirl-10123 @lunar-wolf-warrior @casual-darkness @xxmadamjinxx @normal-piece-of-shit @tinyterror333 @romanoff-queen @schrodingers25 @alessialeone6997 @mindfulmagics @slytherin-heartthrob @da-tasuky @asianfrustration13 @eliza-bich @kuhakuanon @my-name-is-michell @theatreandcomicfreak @interobanginyourmom @starry-bi-sky

Let me know if I missed anyone and message me! I’ll be sure to see it then!

[caffeineivore]

Cheer Up Emo Fic for Charlie

For @coppercrane2. Also written during the traveling time. Implied R/J and a certain cameo. 

**

That word would get out about his impromptu trip to New York City he totally expected. For all it was a huge and fairly anonymous college campus, the faculty in the science departments tended to be a tight-knit group, sharing war stories about uppity pre-meds and abysmally disaffected senior-year burnouts alike. But he had not expected one of his work friends to make it a point to pick him up from LAX with the most obnoxious, knowing smirk ever. Charlotte Rhys-Jones was a genius in the zoology department and a reputed holy terror to her PhD students, but she typically left Jude out of it.

Not today, though.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I promise you, I did not get up to any trouble while in New York. I even managed to finish all those lab reports, although I’d really prefer that students stop taking my class to fulfill a science credit requirement. A few of those poor kids are really playing into the stereotypes about jocks and their academic prowess.

“Well, definitely don’t send them my way, either! Remember the shit that went down three years ago with the football players and the penguins? Not that they’d try that again, I don’t think. Penguins are fucking evil and even the meatheads know that by now.” Charlotte eyes him beadily over the rim of her glasses. “So. The girl. Tell Charlie all. I took the liberty of checking out her LinkedIn. She’s very pretty, isn’t she?”

“YOU are also evil, and a stalker, and scarier than even your penguins. But yeah, she’s pretty.” Beautiful, if he were to be completely honest. “Does it matter? She kind of lives on the opposite coast to us and doesn’t have any reason to move. I dropped off her bag, she returned me mine, and we wrapped things up neatly with a drink at a bar before I flew back here.”

“Uh-huh.” Charlotte drags the last part of that word into almost three syllables.

“She texted me to thank me for bringing her bag back and to say she was glad I made it back here safely. Why am I getting the third degree? I feel vaguely like a a seventeen-year-old kid explaining to the parents of his prom date that he’ll have their daughter home promptly at curfew. I’m pretty sure that both Raven and I are past that age in our lives.”

“Friendly enough to be on a first-name basis with her, are we now? I suppose it would be odd if she were to call you Professor Huntley. She’s a step up from the sorority chick co-eds that you encounter here and there between the actual students who mean to learn a thing or two from your classes.”

“She’s definitely not like the students. Far too decisive and self-sufficient to be any of our students, actually.” Jude isn’t quite sure of Raven’s exact age, but pegs her for mid-twenties, perhaps a few years younger than himself. At that age, he’d been a hapless grad student still, at the mercy of his academic advisors and the powers that be in charge of his student loans. Her... competence, for lack of a better term, is slightly intimidating. And yet...

“Do you intend on keeping in touch with the lovely and self-sufficient Miss Fletcher of Elite Models, New York City?” Charlotte is not one to beat about the bush. “It would do you very well to make friends every once in a while. Have someone to talk to when you need a sounding board or some advice.”

“Don’t I have you for that, Charlie?”

“Sure, but our conversations have an unfortunate tendency to degenerate into rants about rude students, idiotic deans, evil penguins, or all of the above. You could stand to discuss a few new topics. Keep your mind sharp and all that. Plus, I’m not likely to inspire you to travel cross-country with a goofy smile on your face. You also attempted to deflect my question with another question as opposed to actually answering it, and that says it all, doesn’t it?”

“Have you ever considered being a law school professor instead? I think you’d be phenomenal.”

“I’m sure I would be, but then I’d be trading penguins for lawyers-to-be. At least the first category has the decency to be quietly evil as opposed to the obnoxious variety of evil that never shuts up and enjoys arguing with you whenever you say anything at all. You should invite your Raven out for a drink, maybe some tacos, next time she’s in LA. Return the favour, you know.”

Charlie continues on this vein until she drops Jude off at his apartment, and perhaps it’s her intention that he turn his thoughts towards Raven, thousands of miles away. It’d be pretty late now, in New York City, but he texts her before he can talk himself out of it. 

“I’m glad you don’t hate me for the bag mishap. Margaritas next time you’re here in LA, my treat?”

To his surprise, she texts back within minutes. “That’d be great. A margarita sounds amazing right now. Been in meetings all day with the people at Vogue. Anna Wintour’s minions eat and drink what she does and it all sucks!!!!!”

He finds himself laughing, charmed by her refreshing honesty, and texts her back to inquire about her meetings with the designers in negotiations for working with Morgan Austen, asking about her day. She replies, asks him about his, and before he knows it, it’s full dark outside, which means that on the East Coast, it must be well after midnight.

“Am I keeping you up? If I am, I’m sorry. Go to sleep.”

He doesn’t expect her to respond back, but her text comes through a minute later.

“I didn’t mind. it’s late though. Talk to you tomorrow?”

He tells himself it’s lame to text her a wave and a smiley face emoji, but does it anyway. There isn’t exactly a precedent for how to deal with the likes of Raven Fletcher, after all, and he eventually turns in for the night, fairly sure it’d be the end of it.

But he wakes up in the middle of the night to a text notification. Morning rush-hour, Eastern Standard Time. Raven texted him a pithy comment about her morning commute on the subway.

It’s nothing, really. But he texts her back, bleary-eyed and sleepy. And turns up on campus with a bit of lightness to his step and a smile on his face.

Charlie takes one long look at him and walks away, smirking and humming something that sounds suspiciousy like the Wedding March under her breath. She is, of course, teasing him on the basis of their long professional friendship.

Jude, however, texts Raven again during lunch, laughs at her witticisms about some designer or another’s outlandish winter-season line, shares an anecdote about a small lab mishap. Neither of them, he knows, has more than the faintest inkling of what the other person is talking about. He really could care less about fashion.

But talking to Raven, about any topic at all, was wonderful. Charlie would call him smitten, probably.

He couldn’t even be mad about it.

[lodelss]

Soraya Roberts | Longreads | January 2020 |  8 minutes (1,978 words)

“And when they bombed other people’s houses, we / protested / but not enough, we opposed them but not / enough …” On January 3rd, Ukrainian immigrant Ilya Kaminsky quote-tweeted his poem, “We Lived Happily During the War,” after it went viral the day Iranian general Qassem Suleimani was assassinated on the order of President Donald Trump. The poem appeared in his long-awaited 2019 poetry collection, Deaf Republic, about a town that responds to the killing of a deaf child by itself going deaf, a parable of the present-day United States, a country that responds to its own demise (and the rest of the world’s) by blocking its ears. His tweet went up in the midst of increasing tensions between the U.S. and Iran and ahead of the death of more than 50 people in a stampede during Suleimani’s funeral procession. It went up months into bushfires ravaging New South Wales that have destroyed millions of hectares and killed roughly half a billion animals. It went up in the wake of a slew of antisemitic attacks across the country. Last Sunday, while thousands in New York marched in solidarity with the Jewish community, the Hollywood awards season kicked off in Los Angeles with the Golden Globes, and the media started gleefully tweeting about couture as though the destruction of the world had politely paused for the occasion. The timing made me think of a friend who recently asked: What if all the people who went to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker — tens of millions of Americans — protested instead?

“Now’s NOT the time to live happily,” read Kaminsky’s tweet after he extended his thanks for his poetry’s dissemination. He did not squander the moment the way so many of us often do, advising instead that we “write quality journalism & spicy op-eds & protest poems, get out in the street if you’re able. We won’t live happily during another war.”

But aren’t we already?

* * *

In April, when the Notre-Dame threatened to burn to the ground, a bunch of billionaires fell all over themselves pledging to restore the Gothic cathedral (which turned out to be a lot of bluster — the fundraising goal was largely met by small donations). The mega-rich have been comparatively quiet in response to Australia’s bushfires, which are exponentially more devastating, broadcasting their priorities all the louder. Columnist Louis Staples noted that billionaires tend to run businesses with the sorts of carbon footprints that fuel climate change, the clear cause of the conflagrations. “Also Notre Dame is a landmark in a world famous city,” he wrote, “whereas the Australian wildfires have mostly affected rural, sparsely populated areas.” This confers a kind of poetry on their predilection. Notre-Dame is not only one of France’s most powerful religious and cultural symbols, it was also looted during the French Revolution because it was emblematic of the country’s — and the church’s and the monarchy’s — plutocracy. Marie Antoinette lost her head, but so too did Notre-Dame’s statues. That billionaires pledged to rebuild this historic monument to inequity amidst worldwide uprisings against oppression and large-scale environmental destruction speaks to where their allegiances continue to lie.

More than morals, more than guilt, the number one concern of the ultra-rich appears to be rebellion — the threat of those with less coming for those with more. In the New Yorker this month, a profile of the Patriotic Millionaires, “a couple hundred” rich Americans (at least $1 million in income; more than $5 million in assets) who push for policies to address income inequality, had them voicing this fear repeatedly. Tech exec William Battle, who was raised Republican but veered left after Trump’s election, somewhat comically told the magazine (in a whisper, I have to imagine), “We could have — I don’t want to say it, but, riots.” It tickles me to think of a bunch of exceedingly rich idiots walking around with their knickers in a twist of terror over an imaginary enemy, while in reality the horrors of the world largely originate with them. Paraphrasing Walter Scheidel, author of The Great Leveler: Violence and the History of Inequality from the Stone Age to the Twenty-first Century, the New Yorker’s Sheelah Kolkhatar explained, “levelling happens much more often because of the collapse of a state, such as the fall of the Roman Empire; because of deadly pandemics, like the black death of the thirteen-hundreds, which killed so many people that there were labor shortages and workers’ wages went up; and because of mass-mobilization warfare, such as the two World Wars.” Sound familiar? States are too in control to bow to pitchforks; what they can’t control are natural (“natural”) disasters. Fire, flooding, starvation, disease. Which isn’t to say they aren’t trying.

“Disarm the lifeboats.” This is the title Jonathan M. Katz, who made his name reporting on the 2010 Haiti earthquake, chose for his latest The Long Version newsletter. It’s a reference to journalist Christian Parenti’s 2011 book Tropic of Chaos: Climate Change and the New Geography of Violence, which builds on a model of panic proposed by Lee Clarke and Caron Chess. These two academics claim that panic weakens social bonds, reducing the likelihood of crisis resolution, but that it is in fact rare in disaster situations. But people’s enduring belief in this myth — the truthy trope that the public panics in a crisis — ironically leads to actual “elite panic”: powerful people hoarding authority and resources and withholding information. And this panic is actually worse. “Because the positions they occupy command the power to move resources,” Clarke and Chess write, “elite panic is more consequential than public panic.” To get an idea of the sort of consequences they’re talking about, go to any newspaper. It will bear out Parenti’s prediction that elite panic results in what he calls “the politics of the armed lifeboats,” where “strong states with developed economies will succumb to a politics of xenophobia, racism, police repression, surveillance, and militarism and thus transform themselves into fortress societies while the rest of the world slips into collapse.” The failure to mitigate disaster — through cooperation and redistribution, through working together instead of apart — inevitably leads to the collapse of these lifeboats as well.

But in the meantime, as Kaminsky wrote, “I was / in my bed, around my bed America / was falling: invisible house by invisible house by invisible house.” Within the center of the country’s plush cocoon, far away from the laps of floods, or the waves of heat, or the growling hunger, or the roving pestilence, we are comfortable enough to be lulled into complacency. Sprawling homes constructed by capitalism have taught us to individualize and to consume, and so in the midst of a crisis, we respond by purchasing self-help, by buying into self-care, by looking after ourselves as a first port of call, as though anything else really comes second, as though after that massage we will actually extend a hand to anyone else. “I believe that each person has the opportunity to offer the gift of their own higher level of consciousness,” Oprah told The Today Show earlier this month. “You can only heal the world when you are healed yourself.” The feel-good cliché is hard to shake because it isn’t entirely wrong. You do have to be well before you can take care of others, right? Aren’t we always told during in-flight safety routines to put the mask on ourselves first? Except we never seem to get further than that. Those in distress, who feel less cocooned, always seem to be fighting alone. In a recent interview with The Guardian, DeRay McKesson discussed the burnout faced by people of color who have been part of Black Lives Matter protests while the larger population sat in bed and watched on TV. “We saw that people were going to say, ‘Oh, my God, people should be in the street,’ but would never join us,” he said. “We saw that people weren’t willing to risk much.” Outside the lifeboat, they got tired, and inside the lifeboat, the messiah — the one on Netflix, I mean — provided a higher calling.

* * *

“In the street of money in the city of money in the country of money, our great country of money, we (forgive us) / lived happily during the war.” The last line of Kaminsky’s poem seemed to be host Ricky Gervais’s inspiration at the Golden Globes on Sunday. Before anyone could even take the stage, he castigated the ballroom full of famous faces for living happily, despite some of them — including Michelle Williams and Patricia Arquette — going on to address the war raging outside. “If you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech,” he warned. “You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything.” And yet Gervais himself broke his own rule, pleading at the end of the show to “please donate to Australia.” I consider this about-face a positive sign, the synthetic lifeboat losing buoyancy despite itself. Gervais’s inability to follow his own dictate shows the weakness of the fortress the West tries so hard to enforce in the face of the current calamity; the invisible ruins have suddenly become visible, even when we are watching from our bedrooms. This is the sound of Australia denouncing its prime minister for refusing to acknowledge the climate change, the sound of Americans protesting their president for attacking Iran, it is even the sound of Anand Giridharadas’s viral tweet pointing out that 500 of the richest people in the world could save the planet, if only they would work together.

“Climate scientists have modeled out how global temperatures might shift in different geopolitical scenarios,” wrote environmental journalist Emily Atkin in her newsletter Heated last week. “And the scenario that always ends up with the planet in fiery climate chaos is the so-called ‘regional rivalry’ scenario — to put it simply, the one where everyone is fighting, borders are closed, and rich white-led countries like the U.S. are super racist toward less-wealthy countries filled with brown people.” Which means the opposite is also true, the planet survives in the global community scenario in which everyone is cooperating, borders are open, and all countries are equal. So here’s the choice: You can face guaranteed death in the comfort of solitude, the chaos outside muffled by Disney and Netflix, Justin Trudeau’s beard, and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal defection, by any solipsistic interest, really, which does not involve engaging with the external world. Or you can face the cataclysm, you can bathe in discomfort and unrest, you can engage with it in your work and your life along with everyone else, and with them work toward survival. Refusing to rock the boat for fear of making anyone uncomfortable right now does not mean the boat is not still fated to sink in the end. If we keep continuing as we have, the Crisis of the Third Century, in which the Roman Empire almost folded due to combined political, social, and economic crises, could very well become the Crisis of the Twenty-First. In an interview with Chinese Poetry Quarterly in 2011, Kaminsky even compared present-day America to latter-day Rome. “The Roman Empire has produced many things that were valuable to modern civilization. But at what cost to other nations? This is the question anyone living in the U.S.A. today, particularly its authors, should be asking,” he said. “Anyone who reads and writes books should attempt to see with clarity the world they live in, pay taxes in, support by mere being there. Not everyone is guilty, Dostoevsky used to say, but everyone is responsible.”

By which he means: Rock the boat, especially if you’re in it, even if you don’t have a life jacket of your own.

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

[biofunmy]

Mischa Barton Is Back Where She Started. Sort Of.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Mischa Barton was having a rough week. Ziggy, her beloved canine companion, had just died; she was grieving. Still, there were things to look forward to, like the screenplays stacked atop the glass table in the center of her living room.

“I just started reading scripts again, which is a good thing,” Ms. Barton, 33, said. “But it means I’m not really reading novels properly.”

The actress has taken a few dozen roles since leaving “The O.C.” in 2006. None has managed to eclipse Marissa Cooper, that teen soap’s frequently imperiled female lead.

And in the last year, she’s made a conscious decision to stay out of the spotlight. She’d been back on the East Coast, living a quiet life in the Hudson Valley. “I really thought it was time to take a step back from L.A., but you can’t do that forever,” she said.

It wasn’t so much a want as a need. In May 2017, she began appearing in court over a dispute with two former boyfriends, Jon Zacharias and Adam Spaw. One, she said, had filmed her during sex without her consent, and the other made copies with the intent to distribute them. Both men have denied any criminal wrongdoing.

“You cannot be too careful,” Ms. Barton said. “Young women especially — truly anybody — and that was prior to the #MeToo thing, where now it’s burst wide open.”

For over a year, the lawsuit dominated her life. “It’s not a joke when you end up having to go to court and fight for those things,” Ms. Barton said. “It’s not really possible to keep everything else going at once.”

The court dealings resulted in both men agreeing not to sell or distribute the material. Her attorney, Lisa Bloom (who would go on to represent Harvey Weinstein later that year, then regret it), continued to support Ms. Barton in her monthslong battle with the second man, who in the end agreed to a five-year restraining order.

Ms. Barton’s boyfriend of two years, an Australian model named James Abercrombie, was by her side the entire time. “That’s really I think the thing that drove us closest together,” Ms. Barton said.

Ms. Barton would fly in from New York for court appearances, but otherwise stayed off the West Coast. “A little bit of it did feel like running away,” she said. “I just didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be back East, so I went back, and I was living in upstate New York, total farmland, riding horses.”

Ms. Barton said she continued to look at scripts and take roles during that period but the work became too much on top of the legal proceedings.

Now, she says, she’s “come into the clear” and is ready to move on. She has both Mr. Abercrombie and her other dogs, which include a Cavalier King Charles Beagle-Spaniel mix named Charles Dickens, to lean on for emotional support. (“He really is the best dog,” she said.) And her first high-profile project in years has brought her back to Los Angeles — at least for filming.

In October, Ms. Barton announced in an Instagram video that she would be joining the cast of “The Hills: New Beginnings.” It is a reboot of “Laguna Beach,” which was the follow-up to the MTV series that “The O.C.” spawned. The new show will star original cast members, including Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Audrina Patridge, Whitney Port and Brody Jenner. Ms. Barton believes that Mr. Pratt willed the show back into existence. “He says he prayed on it every day for 10 years to come back, and I believe him,” she said. “I don’t think that’s a word of a lie.”

The producers of the show, which premieres on June 24, pursued Ms. Barton for three months last summer. “Obviously, I’m a working actor, so I do take jobs in general,” she said, “but when it comes to things I know are going to be big endeavors, it’s always kind of a process with me.” Reality would be a whole new genre for her. Plus, she initially thought the idea of her being scouted for the show was a joke.

And rightly so: Why her? MTV was looking for a familiar face to add to the cast of returnees, one who might relate to them as a peer. Ms. Barton “was experiencing that sort of life of Hollywood and entering that world at the same age as ‘The Hills’ cast and going through a lot of the same experiences,” said Nina L. Diaz, president of entertainment at MTV, VH1, CMT and Logo.

So what convinced her? She hoped, she said, to “situate myself in a different part of my career, make a new friend group and move out of the stale typecasting I had gotten myself into.”

MTV also felt that her particular story line would draw in viewers. “She’s been out of the spotlight for some time, and she knows there’s a lot of curiosity about her and her story,” Ms. Diaz said, “and she’s a great example of a new beginning.”

“People seem to have always associated me with one thing, and I thought it would be a good opportunity for them to get to see the real me,” Ms. Barton said.

“The Hills” had a “nudge-wink” relation to actual reality. In its final scene, Kristin Cavallari and Brody Jenner’s tearful “goodbye” is revealed to be staged on a Hollywood backdrop filmed on a back lot. But Ms. Barton said the new version is more like a docu-series. “It’s not in any way really scripted at all,” she said.

Ms. Barton ended up signing on last minute, even after the show had started filming. While the actress was aware of “The Hills,” she didn’t spend any time with the cast before shooting the reboot. Ms. Barton does know the Jenner family from “back in the day,” as well as Stephanie and Frankie Delgado. She’s since made organic connections with the cast. “Audrina I’ve become really close with, and we hang out as friends,” she said. She also mentioned Ashley and Jason Wahler as new additions to her social circle.

But entering into the drama that once plagued the cast members was an adjustment for her. “It was just funny in the beginning because they do have a lot of drama and history that obviously I’m not privy to,” she said.

Ms. Barton was skeptical about members of the cast herself. “I think what’s really interesting is the people I was most afraid of going into this turned out to be the easiest people to deal with, so I found that to be really funny, and it’s an obvious life lesson,” she said. “The people that you like right away are not always your real friends.” In particular, she found that to be true of Jason and Heidi, who she says is “really chill” (a word she hates). “The people that you have the most trepidation about turn out to be the best,” she added.

The irony of Ms. Barton joining the reboot is not lost on her, considering “The O.C.” and her character Marissa Cooper inspired the reality show. “In the beginning, there was an expectation of me to still remain being Marissa Cooper in this ‘Laguna Beach’ California world, but it’s not feasible at the end of the day,” she said. “You are going to see me.”

Ms. Barton was a star of “The O.C.” for three of its four seasons, departing when her character was killed off.

At the time, there were conflicting stories surrounding her departure. She maintains that leaving was her choice. “I just had a lot in my career that I wanted to do and accomplish,” she said. “I felt like things were really heavily reliant upon me, and I was getting no time to do any of the other offers that were out there.”

She also thought Marissa’s story line was becoming too chaotic. “She’s one of those burnout characters where I don’t know how much more we could have done with her anyway,” she said. The alternative to Marissa’s death, she said, was to send her off into the sunset and maybe have her come back in a season or two. But Ms. Barton didn’t want that. “I fought tooth and nail for that to not happen, because I just don’t think that’s Marissa Cooper. I just don’t think sailing off into the sunset’s the proper goodbye.”

Looking back, Ms. Barton doesn’t regret leaving the show, though she said that era of her career was “intense.” “Making the show was a lot towards the end,” she said. She was a teenager when “The O.C.” premiered and had entertained the idea of applying to the Yale School of Drama before the acting opportunity appeared before her. “I really feel like everything sort of worked out in the way it was probably supposed to,” she said. “I may never have gotten a job or a career if I hadn’t taken just taken it then.”

In 2006, after leaving the show, Ms. Barton did go back to study at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, with the encouragement of Richard Attenborough, who directed her in the 2007 romantic drama “Closing the Ring.”

The year that film was released, she was arrested on charges that she was driving drunk and without a license. In the decade that followed, she was hospitalized twice: after threatening suicide in 2009 and for erratic behavior in 2017, just months before the lawsuit unfurled.

“It’s not the kind of thing you want to go over again and again explaining because life is complicated and so many weird things lead to an incident like that happening,” she said, referring to the most recent incident, in which a neighbor called 911 to report that Ms. Barton was a suicide risk. “It’s not cut and dry. All I can say is it was a huge wake-up call about a lot of things.”

Since her departure from “The O.C.,” her acting credits have included the short-lived CW show “The Beautiful Life,” “Dancing With the Stars” and a handful of independent films. Between filming, Ms. Barton took on fashion projects. She released a handbag line in 2008 and opened a London boutique in 2012, but her business ventures were short-lived. The licensing partnership fell through and Ms. Barton had poured a plethora of her own finances into making and selling merchandise. “Retail is not exactly a cakewalk, so just taking care of the store and dealing with production, quality and employees …” she said, trailing off. “Just the whole thing became overwhelming and beyond expensive.”

Today Ms. Barton is focused on becoming more “grounded.” She maintains a well-stocked home pharmacy of vitamins and supplements: Vitamins B and D, collagen, hyaluronic acid, magnesium, Vita Greens, spirulina, turmeric and Bragg’s Apple Cider vinegar are all on display in her kitchen.

“I think the guy at the Vitamin Shoppe would basically say that I have almost everything that you can take,” she said.

Fashion has remained a passion. She’s interested in designing a capsule collection of clothing someday. “I had a couple of people approach me, but it’s not something I take seriously yet,” Ms. Barton said. “I really think it would have to be the right people.”

She also has a minor film role in a satirical thriller with the “Stranger Things” actor Joe Keery in the pipeline. She is looking for more character-driven roles, knowing that as she gets older, the opportunities change.

“I do like comedies and can play the snooty whatever,” she said. “But I quite enjoy things that are a bit more real.”

Sahred From Source link Fashion and Style

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15 Tips on Staying Creative Throughout Your Career

Photographing the same type of content over a length of time only leads to increased amount stress, scrutiny, and self-doubt. While we stick to our niches and genres of photography, it’s almost proven at this point that without consistent inspiration and motivation, our work seems to be a duplication of itself leading to the inevitable burnout of creativity. While burnout is so commonly discussed amongst creative professionals, we do very little to prevent it from happening in the first place which makes it hard to combat.

We reached out to 15 creative professionals to offer you tips on how to stay creative throughout your career without losing the integrity and passion for your art.

Vanessa Joy – Website | Instagram

“Staying creative can be tough because burnout is fairly rampant with photographers. I found that you have to find new things to fall in love with throughout your career that keep you interested and motivated. Recently, for me, it’s been about getting to know my clients more and becoming more connected to them so I’m even more excited about telling their love story. I find the more emotionally invested I am a couple the more creatively motivated I’ve become.”

Anna Nguyen Stratton – Website | Instagram

“Burnout is a real thing, and with everyone glorifying the hustle it’s hard to not feel guilty when you want to take a break. Soon you’ll get into a rut of not wanting to document your own family or create for yourself because you don’t want to see a camera. This is a good time to use something else to create. When I’m feeling like it’s become “work” I pull out my iPhone and get creative. That’s how I got into underwater photography. It was my release, and it all started with an Otterbox and an iPhone. Now I have a full underwater kit and shoot commissioned work. Being underwater has its own challenges that you don’t deal with on the daily so it’s exciting, fun, and very much freeing because you’re not fighting against what is expected and what is creative.”

Trevor Dayley – Instagram | Website

“I like to think of my creative brain like a computer. Whenever it’s lagging, running slow, or just seems bogged down, often times what it needs is a reboot. The way I do this is by giving myself a small challenge to force me to use something that is not part of my standard process (a light, a lens, a technique.) For instance, I might say to myself, “for the next ten minutes you are going to shoot at f8, instead of the typical “wide open” f1.2 that you’ve been doing.” Or I might say, “Alright, Trevor go grab the 90mm Tilt-Shift lens out of your bag because it’s now the only lens you’ll be using for the next 15 minutes.” These challenges help to reboot my creative side and get outside that box of doing the same thing over and over again.”

Rob Hall – YouTube | Instagram

“Get back to whatever excited you about photography in the first place. Often times we learn photography playfully in our immediate environment, but the career takes it into a completely different direction. For me, taking extended travel breaks and photographing the new experience takes me back to the feeling I had when I first discovered photography. I always come back to work with a clear mind to create.”

Citlalli Rico – Website | Instagram

“I started 13 years ago shooting 100 weddings per year. The burnout was real after every high season. To stay creative and inspired, I found out doing art projects outside wedding photography kept me going. Right now I’m working on lino prints and I love it.”

Eric Talerico – Website | Instagram

“How to keep that creative spark burning is something I think about a lot in my career, and in life. I’ve learned to push myself outside my comfort zones whenever I can by avoiding patterns and routines. I find this keeps me on my toes and allows me to pull ideas from myself and the environment around me rather than doing the same thing over and over. If I am photographing at a venue that I’ve shot at before my goal is to never shoot in the same spot twice. There are more times than I can count where I’ve said to myself “How did I get myself in this situation? What was I thinking? I should have just taken the safe shot.” But when the dust settles I am usually amazed at the end result. It makes me feel like a true creative and keeps me inspired to push myself outside my comfort zone again the next time.”

Dave & Abby Moss – Website | Instagram

“Travel has been my biggest inspiration. Exploring the world and connecting with cultures that have different wisdom, perspectives, and ways of being has helped me open my mind and heart to all kinds of new experiences. When I travel I’m outside of my normal life and my normal self. I see the world with fresh eyes and it helps me to love people and our natural world even more. I’m also passionate about exploring my inner world. When I’m continually growing and changing I feel fulfilled and creative. Everything in life can help me understand myself better; running a business, unpacking why something triggered me, reading a book, taking a course, meditating, etc. If I start to feel disconnected I reach out to my community of open-hearted healers and creatives. Simply being around them helps me to reconnect and remember who I am. When I’m filled up inside I can let creativity spill out.”

Justin Haugen – Instagram | Website

“We are creatures of habit and prone to a routine that keeps our minds in the same creative space. I do my best to disrupt patterns in my life and open myself up to new experiences. On a whim, I went to a friend’s cafe on a Monday night to randomly see a visiting musician who was touring the country from Japan. I was one of five people in the room that night and it ended up being one of my favorite musical experiences. Afterward, I invited the musician to shoot with me the next day and I was so fortunate to happen upon such a creative and interesting subject. Get out into your city and try something different for a change. You never know what opportunities will present themselves or how inspiration will strike you.”

Lanny & Erika Mann – Website | Instagram

“Jesh de Rox says it best, “If you want to make interesting work, live an interesting life.” That, and learn from our kids (the most creative, imaginative humans on Earth).”

Jay Cassario – Website | Instagram

“Ever since I began shooting 35-45 weddings per year, I always find myself hitting a hard creative rut right around the 3/4 mark of the wedding season. I feel like everything I do is repetitive. Everything is similar to some other shot I took earlier. I start to feel like my creativity that came so easily in the first half of the year, after a couple months of downtime, really becomes difficult to pull out. It was about 4 years ago that I started really feeling it, so I started shooting film at weddings. Shooting a different medium seemed to really help. Shooting film is a lot different than shooting digital, so it really forced me to switch things up. I did the same thing the following year. Due to the price of film and getting it scanned, it wasn’t the best move financially so I needed to try something else a couple years ago. Being that I’m an ambassador for Leica Camera USA, they often ask for new work so I decided to use that as an excuse to start giving them something other than just wedding photos. I began doing a lot more shoots with local models, something I still do today but more-so throughout the year now. When I photograph a model my approach is very different then it is on a wedding day. Obviously, for the fact that there’s only one subject but I’m not shooting in a photojournalistic style. I’m not anticipating moments. I’m working in a completely different style and it really helps avoid creative burnout. Burnout can really affect you as a wedding photographer and the end product that you deliver to a client. Try to switch things up, use lenses you don’t typically use that often, try different lighting techniques, or start to really push yourself in areas that you may struggle in. The other idea I would offer is what I’ve been doing the past couple of years which is to find something else to shoot besides wedding photography. It can also open up other doors to help financially as well.”

Megan Allen – Website | Instagram

“To keep my creative spark going, I really enjoy going outside of my usual genre of wedding photography, and doing creative portraiture for actors and musicians. The organic, creative vibes they come to their shoots with always fuels my soul, and I come away energized and inspired by their creativity that they lend me on the shoots.

It’s a different vibe when you get to work with fellow creatives, and the ability to bounce concepts off one another — as well as knowing when you say, “Hey, I have an idea…” — is a beautiful thing, and the collaboration always comes out looking a little different. I love it, and I hope I can continue to create for creatives in the future.”

Jared Gant – Instagram | Website

“I stay creative by staying curious, by always learning and improving, and then by acting on that curiosity by playing outside the lines. I find that maintaining creativity is particularly difficult when I’m not pushing myself to learn or when I get too complacent with what I have already learned. The more I know the more I realize what I don’t know, and that motivates me to explore further and try harder. Then, once I’ve explored, I can leave the path, and that’s when things get really fun. Put another way, each time I learn something new, it’s like adding a new color to my paint palette. Once I’ve mastered that new color, it’s time to paint outside the lines.”

Sean LeBlanc – Website | Instagram

“I stay creative by saying “YES” to work outside of photographing weddings and will often seek out new opportunities that get me out of my comfort zone. In the early days, I would turn down non-wedding related work because I was only focused on weddings and engagements. This was great for a few years however over time I began to hit some creative roadblocks. Over the last two years, I have been saying “YES” to a wide range of portrait work and I have been blown away by not only the amazing stories I discover about my clients but also how far I can push my creativity to showcase their story with bold creative artwork.”

Lyndah Wells – Website | Instagram

“I try and combine my love of travel and photography to break out of my creative rut because sometimes it gets bad. Hanging with a group of friends, exploring somewhere I’ve never been and shooting with my small discreet Fuji making photos that please only me, meeting new people on my travels gets me revved up to get back to work and takes the pressure off.”

Dave Paek – Website | Instagram

“Sometimes you need to step back and not give a sh*t what other photographers or award societies will think of your work. You need to look introspectively and ask yourself what’s important to you and how your emotions color (for the lack of a better word) the people you photograph. I sometimes have a very emo way of looking at things and my photos can sometimes be on the moody or dark side. I am obsessed with themes related to inner struggle/conflict, deliverance, and redemption. I like shooting underwater to draw out these themes and emotions.”

What are some of the ways you stay creative throughout your career? Let us know in the comments below.

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Happily Never After

Soraya Roberts | Longreads | January 2020 |  8 minutes (1,978 words)

“And when they bombed other people’s houses, we / protested / but not enough, we opposed them but not / enough …” On January 3rd, Ukrainian immigrant Ilya Kaminsky quote-tweeted his poem, “We Lived Happily During the War,” after it went viral the day Iranian general Qassem Suleimani was assassinated on the order of President Donald Trump. The poem appeared in his long-awaited 2019 poetry collection, Deaf Republic, about a town that responds to the killing of a deaf child by itself going deaf, a parable of the present-day United States, a country that responds to its own demise (and the rest of the world’s) by blocking its ears. His tweet went up in the midst of increasing tensions between the U.S. and Iran and ahead of the death of more than 50 people in a stampede during Suleimani’s funeral procession. It went up months into bushfires ravaging New South Wales that have destroyed millions of hectares and killed roughly half a billion animals. It went up in the wake of a slew of antisemitic attacks across the country. Last Sunday, while thousands in New York marched in solidarity with the Jewish community, the Hollywood awards season kicked off in Los Angeles with the Golden Globes, and the media started gleefully tweeting about couture as though the destruction of the world had politely paused for the occasion. The timing made me think of a friend who recently asked: What if all the people who went to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker — tens of millions of Americans — protested instead?

“Now’s NOT the time to live happily,” read Kaminsky’s tweet after he extended his thanks for his poetry’s dissemination. He did not squander the moment the way so many of us often do, advising instead that we “write quality journalism & spicy op-eds & protest poems, get out in the street if you’re able. We won’t live happily during another war.”

But aren’t we already?

* * *

In April, when the Notre-Dame threatened to burn to the ground, a bunch of billionaires fell all over themselves pledging to restore the Gothic cathedral (which turned out to be a lot of bluster — the fundraising goal was largely met by small donations). The mega-rich have been comparatively quiet in response to Australia’s bushfires, which are exponentially more devastating, broadcasting their priorities all the louder. Columnist Louis Staples noted that billionaires tend to run businesses with the sorts of carbon footprints that fuel climate change, the clear cause of the conflagrations. “Also Notre Dame is a landmark in a world famous city,” he wrote, “whereas the Australian wildfires have mostly affected rural, sparsely populated areas.” This confers a kind of poetry on their predilection. Notre-Dame is not only one of France’s most powerful religious and cultural symbols, it was also looted during the French Revolution because it was emblematic of the country’s — and the church’s and the monarchy’s — plutocracy. Marie Antoinette lost her head, but so too did Notre-Dame’s statues. That billionaires pledged to rebuild this historic monument to inequity amidst worldwide uprisings against oppression and large-scale environmental destruction speaks to where their allegiances continue to lie.

More than morals, more than guilt, the number one concern of the ultra-rich appears to be rebellion — the threat of those with less coming for those with more. In the New Yorker this month, a profile of the Patriotic Millionaires, “a couple hundred” rich Americans (at least $1 million in income; more than $5 million in assets) who push for policies to address income inequality, had them voicing this fear repeatedly. Tech exec William Battle, who was raised Republican but veered left after Trump’s election, somewhat comically told the magazine (in a whisper, I have to imagine), “We could have — I don’t want to say it, but, riots.” It tickles me to think of a bunch of exceedingly rich idiots walking around with their knickers in a twist of terror over an imaginary enemy, while in reality the horrors of the world largely originate with them. Paraphrasing Walter Scheidel, author of The Great Leveler: Violence and the History of Inequality from the Stone Age to the Twenty-first Century, the New Yorker’s Sheelah Kolkhatar explained, “levelling happens much more often because of the collapse of a state, such as the fall of the Roman Empire; because of deadly pandemics, like the black death of the thirteen-hundreds, which killed so many people that there were labor shortages and workers’ wages went up; and because of mass-mobilization warfare, such as the two World Wars.” Sound familiar? States are too in control to bow to pitchforks; what they can’t control are natural (“natural”) disasters. Fire, flooding, starvation, disease. Which isn’t to say they aren’t trying.

“Disarm the lifeboats.” This is the title Jonathan M. Katz, who made his name reporting on the 2010 Haiti earthquake, chose for his latest The Long Version newsletter. It’s a reference to journalist Christian Parenti’s 2011 book Tropic of Chaos: Climate Change and the New Geography of Violence, which builds on a model of panic proposed by Lee Clarke and Caron Chess. These two academics claim that panic weakens social bonds, reducing the likelihood of crisis resolution, but that it is in fact rare in disaster situations. But people’s enduring belief in this myth — the truthy trope that the public panics in a crisis — ironically leads to actual “elite panic”: powerful people hoarding authority and resources and withholding information. And this panic is actually worse. “Because the positions they occupy command the power to move resources,” Clarke and Chess write, “elite panic is more consequential than public panic.” To get an idea of the sort of consequences they’re talking about, go to any newspaper. It will bear out Parenti’s prediction that elite panic results in what he calls “the politics of the armed lifeboats,” where “strong states with developed economies will succumb to a politics of xenophobia, racism, police repression, surveillance, and militarism and thus transform themselves into fortress societies while the rest of the world slips into collapse.” The failure to mitigate disaster — through cooperation and redistribution, through working together instead of apart — inevitably leads to the collapse of these lifeboats as well.

But in the meantime, as Kaminsky wrote, “I was / in my bed, around my bed America / was falling: invisible house by invisible house by invisible house.” Within the center of the country’s plush cocoon, far away from the laps of floods, or the waves of heat, or the growling hunger, or the roving pestilence, we are comfortable enough to be lulled into complacency. Sprawling homes constructed by capitalism have taught us to individualize and to consume, and so in the midst of a crisis, we respond by purchasing self-help, by buying into self-care, by looking after ourselves as a first port of call, as though anything else really comes second, as though after that massage we will actually extend a hand to anyone else. “I believe that each person has the opportunity to offer the gift of their own higher level of consciousness,” Oprah told The Today Show earlier this month. “You can only heal the world when you are healed yourself.” The feel-good cliché is hard to shake because it isn’t entirely wrong. You do have to be well before you can take care of others, right? Aren’t we always told during in-flight safety routines to put the mask on ourselves first? Except we never seem to get further than that. Those in distress, who feel less cocooned, always seem to be fighting alone. In a recent interview with The Guardian, DeRay McKesson discussed the burnout faced by people of color who have been part of Black Lives Matter protests while the larger population sat in bed and watched on TV. “We saw that people were going to say, ‘Oh, my God, people should be in the street,’ but would never join us,” he said. “We saw that people weren’t willing to risk much.” Outside the lifeboat, they got tired, and inside the lifeboat, the messiah — the one on Netflix, I mean — provided a higher calling.

* * *

“In the street of money in the city of money in the country of money, our great country of money, we (forgive us) / lived happily during the war.” The last line of Kaminsky’s poem seemed to be host Ricky Gervais’s inspiration at the Golden Globes on Sunday. Before anyone could even take the stage, he castigated the ballroom full of famous faces for living happily, despite some of them — including Michelle Williams and Patricia Arquette — going on to address the war raging outside. “If you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech,” he warned. “You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything.” And yet Gervais himself broke his own rule, pleading at the end of the show to “please donate to Australia.” I consider this about-face a positive sign, the synthetic lifeboat losing buoyancy despite itself. Gervais’s inability to follow his own dictate shows the weakness of the fortress the West tries so hard to enforce in the face of the current calamity; the invisible ruins have suddenly become visible, even when we are watching from our bedrooms. This is the sound of Australia denouncing its prime minister for refusing to acknowledge the climate change, the sound of Americans protesting their president for attacking Iran, it is even the sound of Anand Giridharadas’s viral tweet pointing out that 500 of the richest people in the world could save the planet, if only they would work together.

“Climate scientists have modeled out how global temperatures might shift in different geopolitical scenarios,” wrote environmental journalist Emily Atkin in her newsletter Heated last week. “And the scenario that always ends up with the planet in fiery climate chaos is the so-called ‘regional rivalry’ scenario — to put it simply, the one where everyone is fighting, borders are closed, and rich white-led countries like the U.S. are super racist toward less-wealthy countries filled with brown people.” Which means the opposite is also true, the planet survives in the global community scenario in which everyone is cooperating, borders are open, and all countries are equal. So here’s the choice: You can face guaranteed death in the comfort of solitude, the chaos outside muffled by Disney and Netflix, Justin Trudeau’s beard, and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal defection, by any solipsistic interest, really, which does not involve engaging with the external world. Or you can face the cataclysm, you can bathe in discomfort and unrest, you can engage with it in your work and your life along with everyone else, and with them work toward survival. Refusing to rock the boat for fear of making anyone uncomfortable right now does not mean the boat is not still fated to sink in the end. If we keep continuing as we have, the Crisis of the Third Century, in which the Roman Empire almost folded due to combined political, social, and economic crises, could very well become the Crisis of the Twenty-First. In an interview with Chinese Poetry Quarterly in 2011, Kaminsky even compared present-day America to latter-day Rome. “The Roman Empire has produced many things that were valuable to modern civilization. But at what cost to other nations? This is the question anyone living in the U.S.A. today, particularly its authors, should be asking,” he said. “Anyone who reads and writes books should attempt to see with clarity the world they live in, pay taxes in, support by mere being there. Not everyone is guilty, Dostoevsky used to say, but everyone is responsible.”

By which he means: Rock the boat, especially if you’re in it, even if you don’t have a life jacket of your own.

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

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15 Tips on Staying Creative Throughout Your Career

Photographing the same type of content over a length of time only leads to increased amount stress, scrutiny, and self-doubt. While we stick to our niches and genres of photography, it’s almost proven at this point that without consistent inspiration and motivation, our work seems to be a duplication of itself leading to the inevitable burnout of creativity. While burnout is so commonly discussed amongst creative professionals, we do very little to prevent it from happening in the first place which makes it hard to combat.

We reached out to 15 creative professionals to offer you tips on how to stay creative throughout your career without losing the integrity and passion for your art.

Vanessa Joy – Website | Instagram

“Staying creative can be tough because burnout is fairly rampant with photographers. I found that you have to find new things to fall in love with throughout your career that keep you interested and motivated. Recently, for me, it’s been about getting to know my clients more and becoming more connected to them so I’m even more excited about telling their love story. I find the more emotionally invested I am a couple the more creatively motivated I’ve become.”

Anna Nguyen Stratton – Website | Instagram

“Burnout is a real thing, and with everyone glorifying the hustle it’s hard to not feel guilty when you want to take a break. Soon you’ll get into a rut of not wanting to document your own family or create for yourself because you don’t want to see a camera. This is a good time to use something else to create. When I’m feeling like it’s become “work” I pull out my iPhone and get creative. That’s how I got into underwater photography. It was my release, and it all started with an Otterbox and an iPhone. Now I have a full underwater kit and shoot commissioned work. Being underwater has its own challenges that you don’t deal with on the daily so it’s exciting, fun, and very much freeing because you’re not fighting against what is expected and what is creative.”

Trevor Dayley – Instagram | Website

“I like to think of my creative brain like a computer. Whenever it’s lagging, running slow, or just seems bogged down, often times what it needs is a reboot. The way I do this is by giving myself a small challenge to force me to use something that is not part of my standard process (a light, a lens, a technique.) For instance, I might say to myself, “for the next ten minutes you are going to shoot at f8, instead of the typical “wide open” f1.2 that you’ve been doing.” Or I might say, “Alright, Trevor go grab the 90mm Tilt-Shift lens out of your bag because it’s now the only lens you’ll be using for the next 15 minutes.” These challenges help to reboot my creative side and get outside that box of doing the same thing over and over again.”

Rob Hall – YouTube | Instagram

“Get back to whatever excited you about photography in the first place. Often times we learn photography playfully in our immediate environment, but the career takes it into a completely different direction. For me, taking extended travel breaks and photographing the new experience takes me back to the feeling I had when I first discovered photography. I always come back to work with a clear mind to create.”

Citlalli Rico – Website | Instagram

“I started 13 years ago shooting 100 weddings per year. The burnout was real after every high season. To stay creative and inspired, I found out doing art projects outside wedding photography kept me going. Right now I’m working on lino prints and I love it.”

Eric Talerico – Website | Instagram

“How to keep that creative spark burning is something I think about a lot in my career, and in life. I’ve learned to push myself outside my comfort zones whenever I can by avoiding patterns and routines. I find this keeps me on my toes and allows me to pull ideas from myself and the environment around me rather than doing the same thing over and over. If I am photographing at a venue that I’ve shot at before my goal is to never shoot in the same spot twice. There are more times than I can count where I’ve said to myself “How did I get myself in this situation? What was I thinking? I should have just taken the safe shot.” But when the dust settles I am usually amazed at the end result. It makes me feel like a true creative and keeps me inspired to push myself outside my comfort zone again the next time.”

Dave & Abby Moss – Website | Instagram

“Travel has been my biggest inspiration. Exploring the world and connecting with cultures that have different wisdom, perspectives, and ways of being has helped me open my mind and heart to all kinds of new experiences. When I travel I’m outside of my normal life and my normal self. I see the world with fresh eyes and it helps me to love people and our natural world even more. I’m also passionate about exploring my inner world. When I’m continually growing and changing I feel fulfilled and creative. Everything in life can help me understand myself better; running a business, unpacking why something triggered me, reading a book, taking a course, meditating, etc. If I start to feel disconnected I reach out to my community of open-hearted healers and creatives. Simply being around them helps me to reconnect and remember who I am. When I’m filled up inside I can let creativity spill out.”

Justin Haugen – Instagram | Website

“We are creatures of habit and prone to a routine that keeps our minds in the same creative space. I do my best to disrupt patterns in my life and open myself up to new experiences. On a whim, I went to a friend’s cafe on a Monday night to randomly see a visiting musician who was touring the country from Japan. I was one of five people in the room that night and it ended up being one of my favorite musical experiences. Afterward, I invited the musician to shoot with me the next day and I was so fortunate to happen upon such a creative and interesting subject. Get out into your city and try something different for a change. You never know what opportunities will present themselves or how inspiration will strike you.”

Lanny & Erika Mann – Website | Instagram

“Jesh de Rox says it best, “If you want to make interesting work, live an interesting life.” That, and learn from our kids (the most creative, imaginative humans on Earth).”

Jay Cassario – Website | Instagram

“Ever since I began shooting 35-45 weddings per year, I always find myself hitting a hard creative rut right around the 3/4 mark of the wedding season. I feel like everything I do is repetitive. Everything is similar to some other shot I took earlier. I start to feel like my creativity that came so easily in the first half of the year, after a couple months of downtime, really becomes difficult to pull out. It was about 4 years ago that I started really feeling it, so I started shooting film at weddings. Shooting a different medium seemed to really help. Shooting film is a lot different than shooting digital, so it really forced me to switch things up. I did the same thing the following year. Due to the price of film and getting it scanned, it wasn’t the best move financially so I needed to try something else a couple years ago. Being that I’m an ambassador for Leica Camera USA, they often ask for new work so I decided to use that as an excuse to start giving them something other than just wedding photos. I began doing a lot more shoots with local models, something I still do today but more-so throughout the year now. When I photograph a model my approach is very different then it is on a wedding day. Obviously, for the fact that there’s only one subject but I’m not shooting in a photojournalistic style. I’m not anticipating moments. I’m working in a completely different style and it really helps avoid creative burnout. Burnout can really affect you as a wedding photographer and the end product that you deliver to a client. Try to switch things up, use lenses you don’t typically use that often, try different lighting techniques, or start to really push yourself in areas that you may struggle in. The other idea I would offer is what I’ve been doing the past couple of years which is to find something else to shoot besides wedding photography. It can also open up other doors to help financially as well.”

Megan Allen – Website | Instagram

“To keep my creative spark going, I really enjoy going outside of my usual genre of wedding photography, and doing creative portraiture for actors and musicians. The organic, creative vibes they come to their shoots with always fuels my soul, and I come away energized and inspired by their creativity that they lend me on the shoots.

It’s a different vibe when you get to work with fellow creatives, and the ability to bounce concepts off one another — as well as knowing when you say, “Hey, I have an idea…” — is a beautiful thing, and the collaboration always comes out looking a little different. I love it, and I hope I can continue to create for creatives in the future.”

Jared Gant – Instagram | Website

“I stay creative by staying curious, by always learning and improving, and then by acting on that curiosity by playing outside the lines. I find that maintaining creativity is particularly difficult when I’m not pushing myself to learn or when I get too complacent with what I have already learned. The more I know the more I realize what I don’t know, and that motivates me to explore further and try harder. Then, once I’ve explored, I can leave the path, and that’s when things get really fun. Put another way, each time I learn something new, it’s like adding a new color to my paint palette. Once I’ve mastered that new color, it’s time to paint outside the lines.”

Sean LeBlanc – Website | Instagram

“I stay creative by saying “YES” to work outside of photographing weddings and will often seek out new opportunities that get me out of my comfort zone. In the early days, I would turn down non-wedding related work because I was only focused on weddings and engagements. This was great for a few years however over time I began to hit some creative roadblocks. Over the last two years, I have been saying “YES” to a wide range of portrait work and I have been blown away by not only the amazing stories I discover about my clients but also how far I can push my creativity to showcase their story with bold creative artwork.”

Lyndah Wells – Website | Instagram

“I try and combine my love of travel and photography to break out of my creative rut because sometimes it gets bad. Hanging with a group of friends, exploring somewhere I’ve never been and shooting with my small discreet Fuji making photos that please only me, meeting new people on my travels gets me revved up to get back to work and takes the pressure off.”

Dave Paek – Website | Instagram

“Sometimes you need to step back and not give a sh*t what other photographers or award societies will think of your work. You need to look introspectively and ask yourself what’s important to you and how your emotions color (for the lack of a better word) the people you photograph. I sometimes have a very emo way of looking at things and my photos can sometimes be on the moody or dark side. I am obsessed with themes related to inner struggle/conflict, deliverance, and redemption. I like shooting underwater to draw out these themes and emotions.”

What are some of the ways you stay creative throughout your career? Let us know in the comments below.

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