#see i can tell when a hyperfixation really hits because the last 3 pages have just been abt peppermint fudge + his weird polycule

[axellis]

my evil and sick twisted post crk story idea where shadow milk gets redeemed through love or w/e & the only way to fuel his deceitfulness is to start trying to set up peppermint fudge & dark cacao together ++ also another peppermintcacao thing it might be a little swag to click on the images ++ peppermint fudge uses he/him also btw i love you all

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Entirely self indulgent rating post about the top 10 TV shows that made me fucking insane for some reason

10. Sense8

God, this was so good. Such a blessing. I saw part of the cast during a Pride Parade and it's one of my favorite memories. I felt every possible emotion with this show, I love it.

9. The Last of Us

This is kind of a cheat, because the obsession comes from the games, but it is what it is. It's one of the few games that had a big impact on me and I closely relate it to my relationship with my dad. Can't wait to cry my heart out at season 2.

8. Good Omens

It's a given, isn't it? That stupid angel with his stupid demon and their stupid God. GRRRAAWW. A lot of thoughts and feelings came from the fandom, I have to point out. It's been very nice.

7. The Umbrella Academy

I have the first issue of the comics autographed by Gerard Way!! I mean, yes, it's because I'm a MCR fan, but it became even more precious after I got into the show. I'm rewatching right now, preparing for the last season. I'll be a mess when I say goodbye to them. Can't even really think about it too hard or I'll cry right now.

Continues under the cut

6. Our Flag Means Death

LISTEN THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING TO ME. What do you mean we can have a show THIS queer? It's all I want now. I ate it up. I smiled so much. I wanted this so badly and had no idea.

5. Interview with the Vampire

Feels like it should be top 3 honestly but I'll get there. This is also a cheat, I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles since I was like 15. Growing up with Anne Rice probably messed me up but hey at least I have great taste. And seeing them on screen? The way they made it BETTER? And Lestat?? Who has been haunting me for 15 years on and off??? And the second season and their reunion and and and?????????? I'm STILL insane about them and will be forever, I'm afraid.

4. Doctor Who

Listen. Listen. Okay. Yeah. What can I say? If you get into it, you're doomed. And I have been doomed for 10 years at least. I stopped watching for a while and got back last year, and it hit me all over again. I love this dumbass genius alien in a way that's calm, even. Just a permanent part of who I am now.

3. The Untamed

The year was 2022, it had been a while since I had a proper fixation and I didn't think it would happen with this danmei live-action, but then came Wei Wuxian. Guys, if I tell you I fell in love. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Everyday I was plagued by his smile and red ribbon and tragic backstory, yadayadayada. I really like other characters too, and their stories, but WWX did something to me that I still don't quite understand.

2. Queer as Folk (US)

This was a looong time ago and it didn't really persist over time like the others, but it was my first actual obsession. I was clinically insane over these gays. I had no one to talk to about them, so for every episode I wrote several pages of notes to comment to my (only) friend at school the next day, the poor thing. It was pretty much all I talked about because I spent EVERY MINUTE we had to talk going over the notes and explaining the episode. Like, between classes, during breaks, everything. Months of that. She held on firmly because she was a good friend, but I'm aware it must've been terrible. Like I said, insane.

1. Dead Boy Detectives

Maybe I'm putting this up here because it's my current hyperfixation? Maybe. But I don't think I have felt something hit as strongly as this since QaF over there. This time I can participate in fandom so I don't need to write every thought I have because it's all a big talk anyway, but I'm still pretty much having those thoughts all the time for *checks notes* nearly three months. I'm writing more than I have in years. I'm back at Tumblr after I don't know how long. I'm staring at GIFs over and over like I have the fucking time for that. I'm distracted at work daily. I talk about it in therapy. I have the main cast's notifications on. I'm getting involved in fandom discourse sometimes even knowing I shouldn't. It's a nightmare. I love it. I love them.

If you read all of this, congrats! Now you know how my mind works, kinda!! I'm open to talk about any and all of these shows. It's amazing how they mess us up. It's also scary, but anyway.

[haveaclock]

Uhm...

Hi everyone?

Back from my little break I guess.

1 year is quite little

yea sure April 18 ,2023( the last time I posted) was a long time ago but,

"It's April 21st!! Of 2024!!"

oh wait I'm talking to myself again..

----------------------------------------------

Guess whose back, Back again, Shady's back..tell a friend.

yea

I have an excuse! I was going to take a break in observance of my little sister turning 10 (she's 11 she's growing up way too fast), boom one year later.

Genuinely forgot why I left Tumblr,for that matter social media after that..blame it on mental health and stress.

People should know that stuff happens in a year, things change. So guess what, this blog is changing..whoopi. Excluding my pfp I love it so much for absolutely no reason

-----------------------------------------------

Blog things.

When I created this blog, I was in my "Jeantonio era", Jeantonio hyperfixation, if you were a CS fan in late 2022 most likely I was in your screen yapping about them and what not. Literally that was all my blog was good for, for that reason alone.

Yea, no more of that. I'm guessing the light switch turned off. I don't know what happened genuinely speaking they just aren't like..you can say I've gotten mature, when I look back at my posts I want to cry, bawl and curl up into a ball fetus position by the pure cringe of it. I don't know.

Not all only Jeantonio, it's just CS in general, sure I'm in a discord server (hi @tiredguyswag) about La Femme Rouge but I really just don't feel the same way about the show I used to. Blame it on personal life I guess.

now that I say that all I say on discord is how I stopped having a Jeantonio hyperfixation 🙃

Anyways,

Don't get me wrong I still love the,but I'll barely post about them. Yea, mind blower.

Next segment

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Bio thing

It's funny how I haven't made this before but that's that I guess,

- I go by Cassandra,

(@r41nb0wzzz DO NOT CALL ME OUT, I KNOW WHAT MY NAME IS.)

-Minor (don't hit on me 😒)

-She/Her

Hobbies: Drawing, Animations, Running,..does talking count?

.. I'll just skip to the fandoms part.

- Avatar:The Last Airbender

- Carmen SanDiego (kinda obvious)

- Any kind of children's show

-Mandela Catalogue

- MLP

- Undertale, but just barely

- Steven Universe

- Genshin Impact

-Spiderverse

I've forgotten now

Now, this shall come as a Total shocker for you guys but,

- Total Drama Island

see what I did there

next segment

-------------------------------------------------

Everyone knows what a hyperfixation is,

A character(s) or show, or something you like so much you traumatize them or you draw them in class so much you have 3 full pages of that one character.

(Okay, funny thing is I've never drawn El Topo and Le Chèvre like, never in my life until like, January this year during Carmen week, crazy.)

Anyways, I'm pretty sure I was never one of those users that had a new hyperfixation like, by the day, "Jeantonio 4 life man"

Which is funny,

Okay I'll get on with it Rajbow (Raj and Bowie) is cool guys.

I love Rajbow so much man..

It's like ... it's like Terry McGurin watched Carmen SanDiego and then implemented Jeantonio onto Total Drama Island.

I will go on and on about them like..

Like look at them!!

Look.

Goofy Goobers times 2x man..

I didn't even mention Wayne man..Wayne!!!

I will put each of them in my pocket..each!

It's a brainrot.. man..

Will I be making remarks about my hating Bowie? No!

Le Chèvre got them because I hated him but now I don't because I forgot my reason,

or I just made him too fem queen in my head..

I love Bowie man..

And Raj..

And Wayne..

Platonic Raynebow 4 life man..

--------------------------------------------------

I forgot the majority of the stuff I came here to say, so I'll just say what I remember, and leave you guys to forget this,

-I'm going to delete a lot of my old posts most likely this weekend, they were very cringe man, understand where I'm coming from...

-Thetalkwithaveaclock isn't coming back, it's getting killed off. But then again nobody cared or knew what it was,

- Posting won't be something you'll be getting in every 56 seconds, it's more like every 56 days or something..I either just don't want to come back to Tumblr or its school man..

-----------------------------------------------

Yeah, that's pretty much it..I forgot a lot of what I was going to say to you guys, okay..uh..

Anyways,

Bye Bye..CS nation?.. I'm guessing the majority of this will be read by CS nation..

- cassandra

[theawkwardterrier]

2019 fic roundup

Buffyverse

The Words Beneath Our Words

MCU

Perfect Targets Beneath the Flap A Light in the Window These Bricks and Beams Carry With Us Though It's Called Dancing (to me it's romancing) things left behind and the things that are ahead

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?:

I've had a policy over the past through years of not predicting (I’m so easily prone to getting weighed down by disappointment in myself), but I’ll say it was less than in the past (not an overwhelming number of individual fics, and not a lot of variation in genre) but in some ways a lot more (things left behind).

There is something a little different from other years, though, because in 2018 I had decided to stop writing. It seemed like a perfectly sensible time to do so: it had been just over ten years since I started writing fic regularly, just under ten since I started participating in IWRY marathon, I’d made friends and improved in my writing both through age and through practice, and I’d just finished my World Without Shrimp IWRY series and had no new projects brewing. I was starting to feel sort of old-married to my fandoms, the love still there but the passion somewhat fading. But it was also a move made bitterly, out of anger and sadness and frustration. 

I know there are writers who will write regardless of the feedback they get. I know there are writers who don’t register the hits or kudos they get, those who don’t compare their stats to other writers, who keep themselves focused on themselves and their own work, thinking “I like my story - it’s good and writing it helped me to grow” rather than “I like my story, and more people should have too.” I think that type of writer is admirable. I’m not one of them. I don’t know that I ever can be. And, as I’ve mentioned in the past, I was really torn up that But A Walking Shadow didn’t get much of a reaction.

It’s strange - I love my own fic, but I truly don’t think I’m the most amazing writer or anything. And I certainly get wonderful feedback, including plenty on my other 2018 stories, many of which were very well received. But there was just something about what happened with that one story that really affected me. Maybe it was a sense of hopes dashed after a lot of effort, or, as I mentioned during last year’s roundup, a feeling that I had done everything “right” with it, and it didn’t result in a greater impact. Maybe it was the feeling that Woman Borne was somehow retroactively not as well-received as I thought it had been if people weren’t looking for a follow-up and weren’t as interested when it arrived. I felt as if I had spent a decade trying to become Something and had finally gotten close and it just wasn’t working. (I was also having a pretty hard year in general, and mental-healthwise, wasn’t in the best place.) Regardless of the reason, in the later part of 2018, I started wondering what would happen if I just...stopped?

Like I said, I thought it would be a fairly good time to do it, there were Reasons for it, but I was also having a supervillain moment of “if I’m not appreciated, I just won’t do it anymore, I’ll just tell myself stories and won’t write them or show them to anyone, so there.”  

And then Endgame came out. And I wrote anyway. Obviously.

I’m not much better in my comparisons with others, and in some ways I’m worse, though I’m working on it. I know that it’s not logical or healthy, to have this endlessly gluttonous desire for recognition which might not even be possible to ever fulfill. (Like, realistically, what do I want? For every fic reader to be obsessed with my work? For the world to hail me as the next Shakespeare????) I am trying to manage my expectations and to focus on the positives of my accomplishments and place less stock in the reception. We’ll see how it goes.

Anyway, I don’t predict what I’ll write, or how much. At this point, who knows.

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?:

As I said, in January, I was certain I would never write fic again, so I suppose it was all unpredictable. That said, everything stayed fairly status quo (Steve/Peggy, Buffy/Angel), though I guess my OCs - the whole cast of them! - were a surprise.

3. What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

There’s usually one that jumps out, but from 2019, I was really proud of things left behind in a grand sense (length! characters!) and probably Beneath the Flap in a smaller sense (I’m always really excited when I can translate one universe into another - Attachments’s internet security officer/email monitor becoming a CA:TFA appropriate WWII military mail censor is pretty good).

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Including so many OCs in things left behind, I think. Even though I did something similar before with Adrift, Ashore, it felt so, so nerve-wracking to include pieces like chapter 22, which is almost entirely Drea with cameos by Steve and Peggy and Tony and the Jarvises. Like, how much would people’s interest extend past the MCU characters they came to read about? (Luckily, apparently a fair amount.) One of the things I started to realize as I’ve written more and more of the story is that I do feel, I guess, ready to try writing new characters and building a world of my own in a way that I didn’t before. 

5. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

This is not a prediction because I’ve already fulfilled it as of this writing, but: keep posting chapters of things left behind, mostly. I’d love to expand to a new fandom, but I’ve been in a real rut for the past few years; nothing’s really captured my interest in that certain way, and I’m sighing over the lack of a shiny hyperfixation.

As I’ve gained confidence in my own writing independent of an extant media universe (see above), it’s possible that I might try writing something non fanfic at some point in the future, but I don’t actually have an idea and the details of anything surrounding that are so hazy I don’t even think I could list it as a goal. (Also, a maximum of four people are allowed on the page at once, so that will put a damper on things).   

6. From my past year of writing, what was…

Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe:

I think they all mostly got what they were due this time around (or more than their due; see below), though I would never say no to more feedback on new chapters of things left behind. There are people who comment on every chapter and I absolutely can never thank them enough for that, but it is a little dispiriting to watch the hits going up without even a note saying, “hey, this was great!” or “I can’t give kudos again but I liked this chapter.” Like I said, I’m trying to work past this sort of thing and I’m not going to stop writing because of it, but...it would still be nice...

Most Fun:

I think Perfect Targets. There’s a touch of awkwardness to it that I wasn’t really able to smooth out, but I like the tone of it, the seriousness balanced with humor/aggravation.

Most Disappointing:

It has got to be A Light in the Window. I reread my own fic possibly more than anyone else alive, and I can’t bear to even look at this one because I think it’s so clunky and weird. Like, the very very center is an interesting idea, but I can’t believe I wrote it considering the secondhand awkwardness that I experience when thinking about it. The feedback on it has been incredibly generous.

Most Sexy:

The scene in chapter 3 of things left behind where Peggy and Steve start getting hot and heavy at the carnival? Or maybe chapter 3 in general?

Hardest to Write:

I stopped writing chapter 28 of things left behind for around six solid months and I’m still not certain I got it 100% fixed up, so probably that.

Most Unintentionally Telling:

I'd love to be either a Buffy or an Angel in The Words Beneath Our Words, but sometimes I feel like my love language is  ¯\(°_o)/¯. Good luck being in a relationship with me! (Just kidding - who would?! Rosa_Diaz_laughing_at_the_party.gif)

Choice Lines:

Usually I’m obsessed enough with my own work to list fourteen million, but this time the prospect legit exhausts me. Pick your own if you’d like, I guess?

[mikiruma]

🏳‍🌈📌💎🎥💕 for homestar runner!!!

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

GAY STRONG BAD... and while a lot of it is projection & kinny its not just that... i think it's hilarious how in an effort to make strong bad into this. whatever he is. bragging about how many ladies are on their knees just to date him? he always has these ridiculously beautiful girlfriends who love him so much, but you'll never meet them because they live in far off lands? or on the moon? (sbemail #67: autobiography) the though of trying to hit on the ONE girl to further his "womanizer" image disgusts him??? imagining a male character to be female so it would be "acceptable" to date him?? (sbemail #99: different town) imagining a male character falling in love with him but only expressing distaste outside the imagination sequence? (sbemail #130: do over) receiving a love letter in an email from a dude but only saying so much as "it just wouldnt work out" when he remembered people are watching him??? (sbemail #8: brianrietta) TEXTBOOK!!!! hes gay man!!!! yeah theres internalized stuff which is. kinda what im hinging on but like. he's gotten better over the years w his general personality shift. im just disappointed that this probably wasnt how he was meant to be written at ALL but like. if i had free reigns over the show i'd want him to find acceptance and realize yeah, you can be gay and still commit arson.

(other than that homestar/homeschool/champeen/strong mad are autistic. also coach z is trans & him and bubs are married. i also rly like trans strong bad)

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

my uncle actually introduced it to my sibling & i way back when!! and we hadnt actually talked about it SINCE he told us abt it... until last time he was in town!! and i didnt even know he remembered it until he saw the trogdor board game which came in the mail the day before & we got to go crazy go nuts over that again!!! (i dont rly remember much of the introduction other than. we were at my grandparents house for christmas or something & i had to go home to visit the site... and i was like 9 or 10) anyway cool uncle rights

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

the brothers chaps have regularly used the fan-owned homestar runner wiki as a resource... useful when u put out as much content as they do! the wiki is credited in all five episodes of strong bad's cool game for attractive people in the "special thanks" section, the brothers have mentioned the wiki itself by name in interviews & at least one toon (that i've seen), just over the past few days on strong bad's twitter page they linked to one of the pages! it is an incredible resource if you wanna know everything about everything in the series, but i think it's really something knowing the creators use it as well. oh yeah and they donate when they can to help keep the servers afloat when the site runs donation drives so. that's pretty cool.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

"favorite scene" or "favorite toon".... im gonna drop some of my favorite toons (or the ones i quote the most) bc most are 3-5 minutes long

fall float parade

sbemail #129: garage sale

pumpkin carve-nival

doomy tales of the macabre (cw: body horror)

halloween potion-ma-jig

i killed pom pom! (cw: alcohol)

sbemail #206: videography

sbemail #110: for kids

play date

donut unto others

where my hat is at? (cw: alcohol)

the homestar runner goes for the gold

the homestar runner enters the spooky woods (cw: emetophobia, (one) dead animal is part of homestar's final fear)

sbemail #207: too cool

a decemberween mackerel (cw: unsanitary in an easter egg)

added some content warnings just in case, also the links in red go to the official site while the black links go to youtube!

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

i will lay down my life for strong sad no questions asked. he deserves several hugs. i would like to be his friend. i like to think if everyones aware theyre in a cartoon and does their own thing outside what we see on the site, then like... hopefully theyre nicer to him.... i know its fun to rag on him bc he is kind of an easy target but listen. goth king. similar music taste. we totally would have hung out in middle school. also thinkin abt how him and strong bad used to get along.... bro.... i would like to see more of that....

[roc-thoughtblog]

Idoru Readthrough Part 3

Chapter 24-26, Pages 169-188

I like how it has to be stated every time the characters notice the driver side is different here. I've been keeping my eye out for quotes to save but the chapters have been too short and absorbing; I think the story is really starting to pick up. Also so far I've only been engaged to look out for character descriptions, which haven't happened.

Spoilers below.

Chapter 24: Hotel Di Short chapter, Gomi boy takes Chia and Masahiko to a love hotel by cab. It's raining the whole way. Gibson never seems to run out of ways to describe pouring rain, rain slicked streets, rain down windows, neon lights in rain. I was wondering how he does it but maybe I just answered my own question through variety.

Gomi boy arranges a room and leaves. Masahiko starts setting up shop while Chia explores the hotel room. Chia's bag gets a weird reaction from the overengineered love hotel bed, iunno if that's plot relevant or just a weird love hotel thing because a bag got dumped on it.

I enjoyed the little attentions to detail, like the "starched white lace fixed to all the headrests" of the cab.

A few days ago a friend was just telling me about the hilarious hyperfixation Cyberpunk 2077 seemed to have with sex and the sex industry, and here we are Chia exploring the bathroom of a sex hotel and awkwardly finding all sorts of things she doesn't recognise. Honestly this kind of setting written from the perspective of a teenage girl can get... all kinds of uncomfortable with certain kinds of authors who have never been teenage girls, so I was a bit apprenhensive. Having said that, Gibson seems to avoid this sort of thing.

Kind of, I was just having that thought when Chia has to urinate, which I guess people do and it was the reason she went to the bathroom, but it's still slightly awkward to read. It's not weird weird, like it's written entirely matter of factly and I think it's just to show that she does not know how to process/doesn't want to touch the overengineered foreign love hotel toilet... but it's still awkward for me to read.

Chapter 25: The Idoru Rei Toei gets the proper Gibson description treatment immediately, before Rez does. Not sure how she's manifesting in this physical space. Her eyes seem to evoke some sort deep spiritual human awakening on Laney & evidently Blackwell, probably Arleigh too. He connects it as nodal in nature, his specialty.

Oooh mid-chapter divider.

Brief flashback; Laney seemed to be a special experiment. Someone at a place that took him in identified his nodal vision as special, akin to the echolocation, that helps him navigate the data in ways most cannot. This is probably to explain why Rei has a bigger effect on him than she does on anyone else at the table, who seem mostly fine.

Rei's face seems to invoke a primal overload of information, because that is what she is. Tip of an iceberg the size of humanity's collective thought. What an awkward dinner for Laney, confused, overwhelmed and trying not to stare because staring makes the overloading worse. I really love how this dinner is conveyed, how utterly lost Laney is, trying to grasp a reality he is completely detached from because every glimpse he catches of the infinite depth of human media sends him into tailspin. A full party is at the table here and he's getting absolutely none of it, and I'm not bothered that I'm not either. I wonder how it would be conveyed through film? I can think of lots of bad, cliched ways to do it but I'd love to see what a master could do.

Oh shit Yamazaki is telling Laney to try the fanclubs for metadata. Connections appearing.

Oh dang, Laney's vision of humanity is actually just directly related to the Idol's last music video, which may or may not take the global human spirituality factor out of it all. Makes sense, kinda funny seeing Laney drop a chopstick over it. Poor dude is completely lost.

Chapter 26: Hak Nam Chia and Masahiko, sitting on the floor because the love hotel bed weirds them both out. I think among other things the lack of wireless connection and smartphones is the biggest miss of this vision of the future (assuming a comparison to present day, which is technically unfair I suppose). Then again, Chia'd be in so much more trouble if she had devices that could be tracked wirelessly or by GPS.

Chia's wired into Masahiko's VR room, that has to be accessed through an elaborate traversal path. Aside; Chia watches an adblocker literally devour an ad for KKK merch. Another aside; Masahiko's part of a digital Walled City of Kowloon, but I didn't mention it before because it didn't seem directly plot relevant and still hasn't. Though, it appears to have been one of the things Laney saw in Rei Toei's face. Chia ports into her own VR space through Masahiko's space through the love hotel's VPN that reroutes through Helsinki.

Chia can't get to any of her friends, and her friend Zona's private VR space is creepily lifeless. I'm not too sure how that works because I imagine if anything happened to Zona her VR wildlife shouldn't be affected/also not sure why anyone who might be targetting Zona would go out of their way to eradicate VR wildlife. Chalk it down to rule of cool.

Gibson also never seems to run out of poetic ways to describe different tones of sky, though they're pretty brief.

Chia tries to access her personal Venice space but that place is also weirdly lifeless and off, so she takes her headset off and.

Oh shit Maryalice is here somehow, in real life. Holy shit she's got a gun. Holy shit she just pulled the trigger-

- to light her cigarette. Wow. Pretty badass character moment and also it got me good for a second there. Thought Masahiko just got eliminated. Well played. I really love it.

This is also the sort of thing I sadly just can't save as a quote because the context of the quote is what makes it hit, and man does it hit. Also makes for one of the better feeling chapter end/cliffhangers because I guess the fakeout gives the chapter some feeling of resolution even despite not knowing how Maryalice got there in the first place.