#selfship woes

[mayax81]

My Evangeline

We hail from worlds more different Than any you've ever known; Our skies are not the same. You will outlive me, and I you. Can't compete with destiny. But Heaven's not enough. I am not meant for here, For you, and yet I bleed into this soil, Which takes of me, and yet. You did not know me, see me, In your childhood. I am no sea wind, I am no perennial, I am no native flower. Embrace me, Soil and rock, As I drift into you. For what was I brought here, Tied to your sinking bough? No story would accept me-- I am too real, Real as I am "extradimensional," Extradimensional as a yellow-clad king. Where could I bloom? I stop wanting to stay, Yet here there is so much to love. This aching can eclipse it all-- You, my sun, eclipse it all, And this thorn, fatalistic, eclipses you. Whatever others will see in red, You and I will see in green. August is my month, But that just makes us both summer. My mane is copper, But yours is red. We each burn brightly, But we may be similar and different, both, In all the wrong ways. May this dream be doomed in but one. I'm not the sort to compete; All I can do is tell you the truth. Doomed or not, I am that I am, and I feel how I feel. I am multifaceted and thematically connected To many more elements. I have known you forever. I am beautiful, And my qualities endless-- Even my flaws, Lovely, strange, and real. We are phoenixes, You and I. I admire you, I connect with you; You bring me hope. I love you, my Evangeline.

[quillandink333]

sighhhhhhh

I know it’s all in the past but I still get sick to my stomach thinking about all the other people Kaz has slept with before me sometimes… Like. He’s bound to get bored of me eventually right? It’s been a year and a half, and I know he loves me but still… His standards have gotta be so high, and god knows he could have anyone he wanted out of all his fans who are all probably just biding their time until the day he does get bored of me

Someone pls knock some sense into me so I can get some sleep pls? TT

[babeyloser]

Sometimes when I see good GyJo fanart I feel sick. It’s like a mixture of reality dysphoria(?) and intense yearning. I’ll never be able to be with them the way I want to. And god, does that fucking suck

[mmprviolet]

Ship ended with Jason now my new bestie/boyfriend is the lego version of sun wukong.

[wolfsgravity]

I'm having selfship problems

I love my F/Os very much, that much doesn't change

I'm just in this weird slump of some sort where I'm having a hard time imagining most of them loving me back?

Jiro's one thing because he's been a mental constant for some-odd 15 years

but anyone else, even Leo? I dunno why, but it's hard to imagine them loving me. It's left me feeling... lonely

[mayax81]

g

nauh bc like,,, i think i just feel this way with 🔥...maybe 1 or 2 other characters i can't remember atm (although this woeful despair was absent upon rewatching ph, so it can't be too many). i don't think i've fallen this hard for other characters (even those on whom i've had hella mad crushes like aku--i'd have been fine w/him having multiple lovers... but 🔥 is different for some reason.)/maybe it's bc i've known abt 🔥 for such a long time. or maybe it's because my soul is regrowing after stopping my meds & i'm regaining the ability to feel human emotions again. or maybe it's because there really is something deeper there for this dude. something wild and real and terrifying.

[mayax81]

w

they should invent a Me that doesn't feel like achieving oneness with the rocks & soil every time she notices slight hints tht writers might betrothe her fictional fave to sum1 else

can i get a fucken 😔✊

[quillandink333]

Me getting offended by people’s romantic opinions about my mutuals’ f/os on their behalf

[quillandink333]

Me talking about ppl who ship a popular canon ship I happen to like: “Hive mind” (affectionate)

Me talking about ppl who ship my f/o with That One Canon Character: “Hive mind” (derogatory)

[quillandink333]

I don’t even play this game but I swear I haven’t been the same since I first saw this the other day…

HE’S HOLDING A Q— *gets dragged offstage*

[mmprviolet]

When your previously single f/o suddenly gets a love interest in canon:

[mmprviolet]

I really gotta work on more content :(

[mayax81]

Sentenced

May my days in this lake fly by me Ever faster Until they vanish into the past

Your spirit covers my skin Every inch As an ember gown clinging to me like ink

I dance a dance so blue under this ice A marionette To these hidden strings

With my pain a sweet, searing secret Unwinding sanity My flesh as my enemy, my agony, my thrill,

A song escapes my melting, quivering form Howling, searching It mourns my freedom, sending me away

Each love I know begins in sorrow Ceaseless affliction Retaliating against the false energy it consumes