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uarmymoonlight · 4 months

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after the afterparty

pairing: nerd!namjoon X ex-mean girl!reader

genre: frenemies (? sorta) to lovers, rivals to lovers, college!au, one-shot, angsty, smut,

summary: after a night of partying with your (now ex-)classmates, namjoon finds you alone in the kitchen and unspoken feelings and desires come rushing to the surface

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, reader’s a bit of an asshole, namjoon kinda idolizes her, lots of untold backstory for the #angst, tit/nipple play, biting (lightly)

words: a little over 4.8k

taglist: @kyglover @luaspersona

crossposted on AO3: here.

image by @/chimigraphic on twitter

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You finally take a deep breath of the cold night air. Eyes closed, beer in hand, hip leaned in against the kitchen counter. Another deep breath.

This night took a real toll on you: 2 hours of pre-game plus 4 of partying and an unbelievable 2 and a half more of after-partying, all in the name of socialization and redemption. But it’s over now.

You let the silence embrace and erase you. The outdoor lights paint the room with a faint blue and the only sound is a car passing by and the sink leaking. It’s just you there. The rest have gone to bed – their own or someone else’s - or back to their own airbnbs. But, as tired as you are, you stay there in the kitchen. This last moment of silence before you leave this place for good. And these long nearly 9 hours of today won’t matter. The people at the party won’t matter. Not even that award-stealing, headache-inducing, infuriating, dimpled assh–

A noise stops your thoughts. You turn to your right to see Namjoon kneeling down to catch the water bottle he’d dropped.

“Namjoon.”

“Hey”, he licks his lips “I...I thought everyone else was gone or sleeping.”

“So did I.”

A beat of silence goes by and then another, a longer one. You could almost laugh at the silence that sets between the two of you. Had this happened a while back, you would’ve already told him to fuck off and probably insulted him somehow. Then again, had this been back then, he would’ve been vexing you endlessly by refusing to let the silence just be, doing that nervous back-and-forth on his heels he used to do all the time and talking your ear off.

This isn’t back then, however. So now, you’re just looking at each other.

Alright. You said you’d change your attitude, didn’t you? Here’s a test for you to prove you did. Your chance to do something to Namjoon you’ve never done before: be nice.

“Congratulations.”

He scoffs, incredulous.

“You’re congratulating me?”

You can’t say you’re surprised he asked. There was a time you’d rather have eaten your own two feet before ever complimenting Namjoon to his face, a time you’d have done anything to not stay in the same room as him. Let alone just the two of you together.

“Well, I did tell you I would, when you deserved it” you remind him “You won the academic decathlon, graduated top of the class, and you got the girl. You deserve it now, so there you go: congratulations.” you raise your glass slightly to him.

He hesitates.

“I got a girl.”

You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn’t. You keep staring at him with those piercing eyes of yours. He hates them. Hates how much he’s always been so aware of them. Hates how much he’s always been so desperate to understand the emotions behind them. But, most of all, he hates how beautiful he finds them, how much they make him feel so on the spotlight, so special.

He watches you open and close your mouth. Once. Twice. You’re speechless? Now here’s one for the history books, he thinks. You’re probably debating whether you should ask him or not about what he meant by that. And God, he hopes you do. He wants you to ask him, he so desperately does. He needs you to want to know what he means. He needs this opening to tell you exactly why Seulgi isn’t the girl, he needs this one chance to tell you what he’s been holding in for so long, the feelings that are always on the tip of his tongue.

Namjoon waits for you to ask. But you don’t. You look away.

You can’t ask him, because that question leads to things you’ve already shut the door of, a long time ago. And he should know better than to try and get it out of you. But he’s Namjoon. Namjoon, always the hopeful idealist, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. And you, always the scoffing pessimist, the egotistical cold bitch. So, you take the coward’s route and when you look back at him all you say is:

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” So there’s no point in talking about any of this, is what you don’t say.

“I know.”

Again, neither of you talk for a while. In silence, you simply look at each other. The air between you is tense with something neither could name exactly. Namjoon breaks the silence this time.

“Dance with me?” he extends his left hand to you.

“There’s no music.”

He shrugs and insists “Dance with me.”

You look at his still stretched hand towards you and it’s almost a perfect flashback of that one night so many nights ago. When he had also reached out for you, in ways more than just physical. When Namjoon had laid out so much of himself for you and all you did was spit it back at him.

“You owe me this one”, he says. Maybe he’s an ass for insisting on this, but God knows you actually do owe him at least this one. You do, and you know it. “You didn’t even talk to me at my party earlier”, he adds.

And it’s just another time that you realize he really is a much better person than you are for using the party as leverage, and not…Well, everything else you’ve done. It’s something you’re not sure you would’ve done for him.

You softly put down your beer on the counter, looking at it while you do so. Anything to not look at him just yet. You need those extra few seconds to…You don’t know what for. To prepare? To breathe? It isn’t to think, surely. Maybe that’s it. You need to not think about what you’re going to do. When the can touches the counter, you spin it a couple times, staring at the label.

With your peripheral vision, you can see Namjoon’s offering hand still out. Again, you remember another moment, a long time ago, when he offered his hand too. You had refused it. God, you suck at this not thinking thing. Andnd you suck at not being a coward.

You finally peel away from the counter and walk quietly to namjoon. You stare at his hand and, taking your time, you slide yours in it. Feeling every inch of his skin until both of your hands are completely touching, and when that happens, you feel a breath you didn’t realize you were holding come out. You feel a bit pathetic for it. The worst part is you hear Namjoon doing the same thing.

Namjoon is smart, you know that. You and everyone who saw him beat you at everything academic-related year after year after year. He’s smart. But he’s not truly smart. If he were truly smart, you think, he’d pull away right now. If he were, he’d turn his back away from you for good.

He doesn’t. He slides his hand from yours to your elbow, caressing your forearm on his way and pulls you in. His fingers on his right hand brush against you, starting with your fingers and going up until he settles it on your waist, pulling you in even more. Not letting go of your elbow, he places your hand on his chest and you complete the action by sliding both your arms around his neck.

You still haven’t looked in his eyes, focusing on his shirt. Actually, his chest. You’d rather not think about that.

You feel his presence all around you, feel him on your skin even though very few parts of you are really touching the other. You feel his head close to yours, your feet almost touching. The two of you stand locked in place.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes?” His voice is little more than a breath.

“Move.”

You hear him scoff lightly and get brave enough to glance at him through your eyelashes. Only a shadow of a smile rests on his lips, so his famous dimples are nowhere in sight.

As he begins to lead you, that quivering bravery you felt moments ago vanishes. You go back to staring at his shirt while embarrassingly hoping you don’t step on his toes. You'd count your steps, instead of just hoping you're doing it right. That is if you knew how to do that. Shouldn't there be music in order to properly count the steps? Isn't that how it works? You count by following the beat of the song, right? But, then again, there's supposed to be music when you dance regardless of the counting. God, what a stupid idea. Why did you agree to this anyway?

Namjoon pulls you even closer, joining your chests and your thighs together as you draw in a surprised breath and let out a sigh. Now, your nose brushes against his lips.

Ah, right. That is why.

You really can't do this not-thinking thing. Product of years over worrying about your social status and over analyzing every interaction you had to make sure you came out on top. It’s actually a lot of hard work being the main top bitch in the area.

Briefly, you wonder what people would think if they saw you right now in his arms. You wonder what Namjoon thinks of this whole scene.

And what an interesting scene it is: the dim lights covering you like a blanket while you quietly embrace, a dance that is little more than just swaying softly to a soundtrack of whispers and wind. You can see your pale reflections on the window. The image akin to that of ghost lovers lost to time, only united by the sound of emptiness when time is frozen. Maybe is because of that image of emptiness and stillness, and because you already decided to leave that you tell him:

"I'm sorry.” It's said so softly, so hopelessly, that Namjoon nearly misses it.

There’s so much he could say to that and yet…He puts a hand on your chin and pulls you away just enough to look at your face. With your eyebrows frowning and your beautiful eyes wide scanning him, you look as scared as Namjoon feels. Namjoon traces your face with his thumb: eyebrow to temple to cheek to your lips. This last caress makes your lips part a little, enough for only a thread of air to pass, and eyes flutter.

There’s so much he could say, but there's only one thing he wants.

Your lips touch in a strong kiss. A kiss that is like that first leap of courage into a cold pool. You know the water will be cold at first, but you also know that if you don't jump, you'll never get into the pool. And just like in a pool, neither of you breathe for a while. Just like in a pool, Namjoon is terrified of that first splash of water, scared you'll push him away.

The kiss ends and you catch your breaths. Not for long, though. You grab the lapel of his jacket to pull him in again and relock your lips. Now, you make sure it's a proper kiss, you take your time learning how to kiss him and how you two fit. After a swirl of your tongue, you feel his hand on your lower back put more pressure and pin you closer. Your legs open slightly and he puts one of his legs a little in between yours, his crotch rubbing against yours as you kiss. As you sink your finger deeper into his jacket, Namjoon firmly grabs the back of your neck and presses his hold. The shivers all over your body and your moan encourage him.

A surprised gasp leaves you when Namjoon, with one hand grabbing your neck and the other around your waist, moves you until your back is against a wall. The cold surface touching your back provides a small break from the hot and heavy air between you and him. A small part of you - the part that isn’t busy kissing him - is a little shocked at how strong he got. When you first met him, he was all height and bones. You’d heard he’d started going to the gym some semesters ago, but you sorta refused to really acknowledge it and, when your eyes and body acknowledged that independently, your brain made a conscious choice to ignore it. At the moment, you don’t have much brainpower to make any choice besides making out with him.

Namjoon likes to think he's self aware enough to not be an arrogant prick, but he can't stop the feeling of pride taking over him as you touch him with such clear appreciation of his new physique. He responds to it with his own devotion, intoxicated by your trademark perfume, the same lingering scent that would always tempt him whenever you left a room.

You feel his toned chest and your hands travel along his strong shoulders. And you feel a bit stupid, a bit clichè, because you put your hands on his upper arms and squeeze his biceps. Kinda like in those stupid movies where the sweet bimbo cheerleader fakes coyness as she fawns over the totally not humble quarterback’s muscles. Okay, so, yeah, maybe it’s a bit eye-rolling worthy, but God! his biceps! If his biceps weren’t enough…his thighs! His thighs are huge and strong and you think you’re not really ashamed of how you gladly let him put one of them between your legs. Also, you don’t care that you two are unabashedly dry humping each other, like two horny inexperienced teenagers. Well, suppose that goes with the cheerleader-quarterback thing. Besides, Namjoon certainly doesn’t seem to mind, guiding and motivating your movements by stroking your ass.

Jesus, dry humping someone should not feel this good. You keep going, more, more and more, feeling yourself get wetter with each move, feeling Namjoon get harder each time you feel his dick brushing against your lower belly. He lifts your leg and repositions himself at a better angle so it isn’t just the friction that’s doing it for you, but the hard pressure of his dick too making you nearly lose your mind in need of him - and he's barely touched you. How come you're affected by him like this?

You open your eyes to see him leaving messy kisses along your skin, making his way down your neck past your collarbones. When he reaches your cleavage he makes it a point to maintain eye contact and lazily kisses the space between your breasts. Again, Namjoon isn't particularly conceited, still, he shows a boastful smirk at your eyes rolling back in pleasure. He continues his way down your body, his hands trailing its contours and feeling the soft silk of your dress he wished you weren’t wearing.

To him, you’re beautiful like a queen: proud, imposing, and powerful. You’ve always been. He thinks it’s your sharp, intelligent eyes, your intent look, but it’s also your straight and confident posture. Looking at you at the moment, though he can still see that spark of intelligence, your eyes are heavy-lidded. Your posture is not insecure, it’s solicitous, fully ready to give in to him. But you’re still you and because you’re still you that there’s still a hint of royal impatience in the way you press yourself against his body, demanding more out of him.

The vision of him going down past your belly button makes you take a breath and arch your back in anticipation. You'd sooner kill yourself before saying you felt butterflies in your stomach, but you do feel something. It takes all your little sense of self control to not grab his hair and lead him straight to where you want him. You don’t have a chance to actually do this since he’s already dipping even lower, eyeing you with malice and desire and nearly driving you crazy with need. You feel your nipples harden when he strokes your folds through your panties with his thumb before pushing the clothing aside.

“Namjoon”, you moan.

He lets out a low growling sound at that and begins exploring your pussy. Fingers and tongue take turns touching and tasting you. His fingers open and stretch you while his mouth sucks on your clit. You think you mumble something along the lines of “yes” and “there” a few times. Your fingers curl in response and your hips move following his rhythm. He licks and sucks and tastes and touches and strokes and you feel yourself closer to cumming with each movement.

Once more, you catch a glimpse of yourselves in a window. The sight is one of pure depravation. You see how dishelved you look, your lips swollen from the kisses and hair an entangled mess on your head, dress hiked up as one of your legs is proped up on Namjoon’s shoulder, a hand of his squeezing your thigh.You’re a bit impressed at how he’s still at it, when your last few hook-ups seemed to want to eat you out as quickly as possible only to say they did it. You’ve never really seen a man who seems so happy to eat pussy like Namjoon. You watch your reflection for a little bit longer while he continues edging you.

Enough. You need all of him now.

“Namjoon”, you say breathlessly. It was a command, but your mind can only think about his tongue on your pussy. You try again. You forcefully pull his head back “Namjoon.”

He hisses a bit due to the force of you pulling his hair.

“Yes, Your Highness?” you squint your eyes in annoyance hearing the mocking nickname he gave you so long ago. You hated the nickname, because you knew it wasn’t a compliment, just a veiled insult of his. However, hearing it while he’s on his knees for you…not bad, you think, not bad at all. Especially when his already deep voice sounds deeper and raspy, the words coming out with a drawl.

“Bedroom. Now.”

He’s up in a second, leading you upstairs. The way up is confusing and chaotic, with the two of you nearly running but barely letting go of each other, hot and lewd kisses exchanged while you walk. You have no idea how Namjoon finds the right door. He stops kissing you only to open the bedroom’s door, which you quickly shut behind you. He tries to put you against it, but you flip him and press him to the door instead.

For a moment, you only look at him. Spreading your hands on his muscular chest, you listen to your heavy breathing.

“Y/N.”

You kiss him again. You put your lips on his neck and take your time there, busying your hands with taking off his jacket and then unbottuning his shirt. When you finish, you stroke his bulge through his pants. Namjoon lets out a hungry hiss that has you rubbing your thighs together. The point of stroking him was to tease Namjoon, you wanted to see if you could get him so worked up as he’d done to you. Unfortunately for you, you find out that that’s a double edged sword and it’s sharper end is pointed towards you, because the more you touch him the more you feel yourself get hotter. Having him in your hand only makes your mouth water.

There’s only one thing you can think of right now. You pull his member out of his pants, stroking the full length once before you turn him and push him down on the bed. Namjoon watches you crawl onto the bed and fully take off his pants and underwear. It’s not slow and sweet or careful. Every motion of yours is aggressive and fast, eyes gleaming with a hungry determination Namjoon is sure is mirrored in his own eyes. You’re beautiful, so so beautiful. On all fours over him like a fucking lioness ready for her meal. Just looking at you like this makes him even harder.

Maybe the gentlemanly thing would be to stop and tell you there’s no need to repay the favor of earlier. But, well, maybe Namjoon isn’t a gentleman, after all. And he’d surely never deny you of anything, not when you so clearly want him. The idea of you wanting him just a fraction of how much he wants you is the best feeling in the world. Or rather, the second best. Because the first is definitely the feeling of your mouth on him.

You take his full length in your mouth, coating his dick with your saliva. Namjoon watches as you alternate between teasing kitten licks on his cockhead and properly sucking him off, your hands griping the base of his cock. God, you’re not simply beautiful, you’re gorgeous. He fights against the urge to roll back in his eyes in order to watch you going down on him. Your hair is thrown around, some of it tickling his thigh while your head keeps bobbing up and down, your makeup is smeared and your dress is a crumpled mess. And you’re gorgeous.

You make eye contact with him with your lips still wrapped around him and he thinks he’s gonna die. Or cum. Probably both. Maybe it’s his dick talking, but he thinks he’d die happy right now.

“Tell me what you like”, you tell him.

“You.”

The immediate blurted out answer shocks you a bit. You scoff.

“You really can’t keep it in.”

In the split second you don’t move, Namjoon starts to deflate. He ruined everything. He waits for you to get up and leave.

You don’t.

You lean forwards and kiss him. The kiss is nothing more than just the press of your lips together. You ignore the still lingering doubt in Namjoon’s eyes. Reaching past him, you go through the drawers on the nightstand. As you look for condoms, your tits are hanging above Namjoon’s head and he peppers kisses on them. After a few seconds, you get the condom out the drawer.

Namjoon tries taking it out of your hands.

“Give me, I can do it.”

“No”, you stop him. “It’s fine.”

You kiss him lightly on the cheek. Namjoon has to stop for a bit. You’d never been so…soft with him before. Not even in those few months long ago when you had been something akin to friends.

Not wasting any time, you put the condom on his cock. You quickly take your panties off and guide his lenght to where you want it. You two stare at each other as you sink yourself on his cock. Moaning at how he stretches you out. You love how full he makes you feel. He’s so big, his cock makes you feel so good. Having him in your mouth was one thing, having him inside you was heavenly. You place a hand on Namjoon’s chest.

“Lay down.”

Because you personally believe feminism is about having a buff hot nerdy guy under you while you get yourself off.

Head on the pillows, he watches you move your hips, leading him in a slow sensual rhythm. Moaning, your head rolls back in pleasure, mouth open to help you breathe better. The two of you pick up the pace, you bouncing on his cock a little then reverting back to grinding.

“Y/N, your dress. Please.”

Understanding what he means, you pull your dress above your head and toss it to the side. With both hands holding your hips, he only gives your tits a dazed glare. He keeps watching when you take your own hand and play with your tits. Namjoon growls and thrusts his hips upwards harder when you lick two of your fingers and use them to play with your nipples, caressing and pinching them, your palms massaging the rest of the soft flesh.

“Like that?”

The raspiness of your voice, that sparkle of meanness in your eyes, that one raised eyebrow on your face…it’s all almost too much for Namjoon. You are gorgeuous. And he’s so impossibly hard.

“Yeah.”

The word almost doesn’t come out. You shake your head and giggle at him. Only you. Only you could be bouncing on a guy’s cock, suck him off, have him eat you out, and, with just a little giggle, make the guy blush. Still, if feels so good to make you laugh. Even if it’s at him. So good.

Almost beats being inside of you. Almost.

Namjoon flips you and lays you down on the bed. Immediately after you hit the mattress, he’s already on you, mouth licking and sucking on you tit. His pace gets faster, more franctic, more desperate. Hitting deeper and deeper. When he hits a sweet spot, you moan louder.

“Yeah, there. More. More. Yes. Yeah,” you repeat the words like a mantra.

“So beautiful”, he tells you. “Almost there, baby.”

God, the pet name. “Can’t take it anymore”, you say.

“Yeah, you can, baby. You can take it all.”

He knows you can. You - open wide for him, hair spread on the pillows like a halo, nipples hardened for him, pussy clenching around him - can take it. You are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

On top of you, Namjoon looks like a fucking beast, in the best way possible. Eyebrows furrowed and barring his teeth, his honey skin sprinkled with sweat. A drop of it slips from his forehead and falls on your cheek and you finally cum. Moaning his name over and over. He put his mouth again on your tit, gritting your nipple between his front teeth. With a final moan out of you, Namjoon empties himself inside the condom.

For a few seconds, you don’t move, just listen to each other breathing. Namjoon feels himself getting softer inside you and, on the back of his mind, he dreads the moment he pulls out from you. Dreads the moment you realise whatever you were doing was over, and so was your business with him.

Still, he can’t stay inside you forever. He pulls out.

He busies himself with taking the condom off him and throwing it away while he notices you get tissues from the nightstand to clean yourself up. He mentally kicks himself for not doing it for you, but then again, maybe you don’t want him doing this for you. That’s another kind of intimacy you haven’t given him the greenlight to do. Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

You put your dress back on and his heart aches. “First door to the right. Hey, uh - “ he begins before you leave “I’ll go get water. Do you want some?”

You shake your head and leave the room.

Silently, he puts his underwear and pants back on and goes to the kitchen, trying all the way down to not think of you.

He stays a little bit longer than needed in the kitchen. Even after everything, he still can’t feel sure of anything with you. There’s still that ugly feeling of inadequacy whispering in his head that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Tonight was just a fluke.

Namjoon goes back to the bedroom expecting you to not be there anymore. He imagines you jumping out of the bathroom window to escape him or sneaking off through the roof. If he wasn’t busy feeling sorry for what you two could’ve been, he’d probably laugh at the scenarios he made up.

When he opens the bedroom door, though, he finds you there. Curled up under the sheets on one side of the bed. Your eyes are closed and your face is serene. He hesitates.

“You’re not gonna sleep?”

You ask without opening your eyes. Namjoon doesn’t answer, but he climbs onto bed behind you. He doesn’t touch you, but he’s close enough that you feel his warmth beside you and his breathing on your neck.

A while of silence goes by. He’s not sure if you’re already asleep. However, there’s one more thing he needs to say to you, even if you don’t hear it. Something he was too much of a coward to say before.

“Stay.”

You open your eyes. You’re careful to make no move to alert him you’re still up.

You think about his request. Stay. Part of you wants to, part of you - a very small and recent part of you that is hopeful, a part that is only there because Namjoon coaxed it out of you - says you could stay. Stay. You could stay with him. Stay in his bed. In this city. Stay…

Like you said, though, that is a very small part of you. The biggest one is a coward.

When Namjoon wakes up to an empty side of the bed the next day, he instantly knows what happened.

You left.

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author’s note: my first attempt at writing smut (at least full on smut, star to finish), hope it doesn’t suck :DDDD any and all feedback/comments are appreciated

#kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon imagine #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon fanfic #rm x reader #rm imagine #bts fic #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts smut #my writing #kim namjoon #namjoon #rm #bts

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perfectsunlight · 11 months

Text

𝐯𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞

𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗶 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗮𝗴𝗲-𝗴𝗮𝗽, 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗽𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗺𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 𝟭𝟯𝗸 (𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗺𝗴)

𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: 𝘃𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲 - 𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗱𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗼

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘁’𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗶 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘂𝗽 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗺 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲𝗿. 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝘃𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁, 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗱𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗯𝘂𝗺. 𝗶𝗳 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

your feet echoed through the halls of sm entertainment, walls with portraits of numerous notable idols and framed records. each one seemed more impressive with each passing action, making the butterflies in your stomach flutter with excitement.

that could be you, next. after all, sm had scouted you and immediately wanted to sign you after seeing the viral video of you singing the national anthem at a baseball game.

as you turned down the end of the hall, a familiar portrait of red velvet was seen on the wall in front of you. your eyes wandered over the frame, scanning the familiar faces of the idols.

one recognizable face in particular stood out to you the most.

kang seulgi.

her captivating presence emanated from the image, reminding you of the countless performances and music videos that had mesmerized audiences worldwide.

it was hard not to feel a sense of connection, knowing that she had once stood where you stood, and was now your producer.

you hadn’t met her yet. the managers had mentioned that you’d be meeting her today, since you were due to start working on your debut album as soon as possible.

sm saw something in you, and you could only hope that seulgi saw something too.

to be quite honest, there wasn’t much in common between the two of you. you were only 19, new to the industry, and had not an ounce of fame to your name.

seulgi was 34, a household name and well seasoned member of the industry. it actually caught you off guard when you were told that she’d be your producer. after all, you figured she’d rather work with sm’s trainees.

with shaking hands, you slowly approached the door to the recording studio you were supposed to meet seulgi in.

as you stood outside the door of the recording studio, anticipation and nervousness pulsed through your veins. the weight of the moment felt almost overwhelming, considering the stark differences between you and seulgi.

doubts crept into your mind, wondering if you were truly ready for this opportunity, whether the former idol would see your potential, or if you would be overshadowed by her seasoned presence.

with trembling hands, you mustered the courage to push open the door. the familiar scent of soundproof walls and the soft hum of equipment welcomed you, instantly enveloping you in an atmosphere of creativity.

as you stepped further into the studio, seulgi motioned for you to take a seat. the room was adorned with musical instruments, soundboards, and lyrics scattered across the table—a realm where creativity would soon unfold. seulgi's gaze, now focused on you, held a spark of curiosity and genuine interest.

her obsidian hues complimented her enigmatic aura.

"i've watched the video of you singing the national anthem," she began, her words like velvet to your ears. "you have a unique voice and undeniable talent. i believe in your potential, and together, we can create something truly special."

the former idol’s lips curved into a small smile, and maybe it was just the way she was, but you couldn’t help but feel as if there was something sinister behind it.

the fleeting thought sent a shiver down your spine, momentarily clouding the excitement that had consumed you moments before. was it just your imagination playing tricks on you, or was there more to seulgi’s enigmatic demeanor than met the eye?

pushing aside the unsettling notion, you chose to focus on the opportunity that lay before you.

seulgi’s belief in your talent and her willingness to collaborate were what mattered most at this moment. perhaps the slight unease you felt was merely a result of your own insecurities and the magnitude of this pivotal moment in your career.

taking a deep breath, you found solace in the scent of the recording studio and the creative energy that surrounded you.

the former idol’s presence, although mysterious, held the promise of guidance and artistic synergy. the room seemed to pulse with possibilities, and you couldn’t let apprehension cloud the potential for a remarkable musical journey.

gathering your courage, you met seulgi’s gaze and reciprocated her smile. whatever hidden intentions might lurk beneath the surface, you were determined to focus on the task at hand — creating music that would touch hearts and leave a lasting impact on the industry.

“you seem nervous, y/n.” she whispered, voice alluring and velvety. her midnight eyes bore into yours, making the butterflies in your stomach do a few flips.

she leaned in a bit closer, reaching her hand and placing it onto your knee.

“don’t worry,” the older woman chuckled, eyes not leaving yours as she smiled, with a hint of sinister, at you. “i’ll take care of you.”

seulgi’s touch on your knee, combined with her soothing voice, offered a conflicting mix of comfort and unease.

the weight of her words and the enigmatic undercurrent in her grin sent a chill down your spine. was there something more to her offer of care and guidance than met the eye? it was difficult to ignore the lingering doubts that resurfaced.

nevertheless, you chose to push those thoughts aside, reminding yourself that success often comes with its fair share of complexity.

you had dreamed of this opportunity, and now it was within your grasp. trusting in seulgi’s experience and expertise became paramount, for she had forged her own path in the industry and knew the ins and outs better than anyone.

with a hesitant half smile, you mustered your resolve and replied, “thank you. i trust you.”

the former idol’s eyes flickered for a moment before she leaned back, that mysterious grin still plastered on her face.

“good. go stand in the booth.” she said softly, eyes not moving from yours.

a wave of confusion crossed your features. you didn’t think you’d start doing anything today. “right now?”

the question you asked made seulgi’s eyebrow arch expectantly. without another word, you slowly stood, knowing better than to ask again.

you weren’t really ready or prepared to start anything today, but for some reason you felt like you couldn’t say no to her.

as you made your way inside the recording booth, uncertainty gnawed at the back of your mind. the unexpected turn of events left you feeling unprepared and vulnerable.

yet, there was an inexplicable magnetism in seulgi’s presence that compelled you to not question her.

entering the booth, you adjusted the headphones, feeling the weight of the moment settle upon you.

seulgi’s voice flowed through the intercom, guiding you through the process. her instructions were precise, instructing you to simply listen to the demo a few times and then sing it with your own voice.

“and one more thing, y/n.” the older woman’s comment made you look up and stare at her through the glass separating the two of you.

her dark eyes swirled with something you couldn’t quite understand yet, but her gaze was zoned in on you as she continued speaking.

“when i tell you to do something, you do it.”

a sense of unease crept over you once again, intensified by seulgi’s commanding tone. her words held an underlying intensity that made you wonder about the true nature of this collaboration. however, the desire to prove yourself and make the most of this opportunity pushed you to set aside your doubts, at least for now.

nodding in response, you took a deep breath, grounding yourself in the present moment. the weight of your producer’s expectations felt palpable, yet it also fueled a determination within you.

you wanted to be the next photo on the walls of sm. and in order to do that, you needed to do everything seulgi asked of you.

after all, you weren’t exactly in a position to say no.

as the session progressed, seulgi's instructions became more specific and demanding. she pushed you to explore different vocal techniques, encouraging you to go beyond your comfort zone. though her guidance was undoubtedly skilled, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was an ulterior motive behind every suggestion.

you focused on delivering your best performance, allowing your voice to flow with emotion and authenticity, even as doubt gnawed at the back of your mind.

hours flew by, and you found yourself immersed in the process. the former idol’s presence was captivating, her energy contagious. she was slowly pushing you to your limits, coaxing out the raw talent hidden within you. with each passing moment, the unease you had felt earlier was momentarily overshadowed by a sense of exhilaration and accomplishment.

but as the recording session drew to a close, seulgi's demeanor changed. the enigmatic smile faded from her face, replaced by a steely gaze that sent a shiver down your spine.

"you have potential, y/n," she said, her voice devoid of its earlier warmth. "but remember, success comes at a price. are you willing to pay for it?"

the weight of her words settled upon you, and you couldn't deny the unease that resurfaced.

in that moment, you made a silent promise to yourself. you would strive for success, but not at the cost of your own well-being.

with newfound determination, you met seulgi's gaze and replied, your voice filled with a hint of defiance, "i want to succeed, but not at any cost. i'll tread carefully and make my own choices."

seulgi's eyes flashed with a mixture of surprise and something else, an emotion you couldn't quite decipher. but she nodded, a flicker of amusement crossing her features.

"very well," she said, her tone measured. "let's see how far you can go, y/n."

since you were spending more and more time at the company, you became familiar with a few of the artists. ningning was only 5 years older than you, naturally making you two closer because of your ages and your common ground in vocality. the chinese woman was the only true friend you had in the company.

you sat in one of the lounge rooms with ningning, sharing a quick snack together before you had to go in and work with the former red velvet member. as the two of you engaged in casual conversation, you saw your producer talking with a few girls your age. trainees, you assumed.

“have you met seulgi yet?” ningning asked, turning her head to look at you after you swallowed a bite of your food. her gaze held something you couldn’t quite pick up, but it seemed like she was concerned.

you answered with a small nod. “yeah, she’s my producer.”

the idol’s gaze darkened, looking down the hall at her senior and then back at you. she whispered in a low tone you had never heard from her before. “if anything happens, come to me okay?”

the seriousness in ningning's voice caught you off guard, and a shiver ran down your spine. it was the first time you had seen her exhibit such concern and protectiveness. you couldn't help but wonder what she meant by "if anything happens."

feeling a mix of curiosity and apprehension, you leaned in closer to your friend, lowering your voice to match hers. "what do you mean by that? is there something i should be worried about?"

the idol hesitated for a moment, her gaze shifting as if contemplating how much she should reveal. eventually, she sighed and spoke in a hushed tone, barely audible above the background noise. "she's not like the other producers. there are rumors about her, whispers of a hidden agenda. some say she's dangerous."

your heart skipped a beat at ningning's words. the initial allure and fascination you felt toward seulgi began to wane, replaced by a sense of caution. you had always dreamt of making it big in the industry, but you never expected that it would come with such potential risks.

ningning continued, her voice tinged with worry. "i've seen trainees come and go, disappearing without a trace after working closely with her. it's as if they never existed. i can't say for sure what's going on, but please, promise me that you'll be careful."

the gravity of the situation sank in, and you found yourself torn between your ambitions and the fear of the unknown. the desire to succeed still burned within you, but you couldn't ignore the warning signs. there was more at stake than just your career.

you met ningning's concerned gaze, appreciating her genuine concern for your well-being. "i promise i'll keep an eye out and be cautious. and if anything seems off, i'll come to you."

she nodded, a flicker of relief crossing her face. "that's all i ask. you’re not alone in this, okay?"

as you returned to your thoughts, you couldn't shake the lingering sense of unease. seulgi's presence, once captivating and intriguing, now held an undercurrent of suspicion.

with each passing moment, you became more determined to unravel the truth behind the rumors and protect yourself in the process.

when it was time for your session with seulgi, you entered the familiar studio. immediately, the older woman’s eyes were glued to your figure as she watched you take off your jacket and the way your shirt pulled up a little to show a glimpse of your abdomen.

you couldn't help but feel a prickle of discomfort as seulgi's gaze lingered on you, her mysterious grin widening ever so slightly. it was as if she were studying you, assessing your every move. ignoring the unease, you took a deep breath and approached her confidently.

"good morning, unnie," you greeted, mustering a smile that barely masked your apprehension. "i'm ready to work."

seulgi's eyes flickered with a mix of amusement and something else you couldn't quite decipher. "excellent," she purred, her voice carrying a husky undertone. "let's dive right into it, shall we?"

when you got inside the booth, you noticed a small tea waiting for you with your name on it. a small smile formed as you looked up at seulgi through the glass. “did you get me this?” you asked.

seulgi's lips curled into a sly smile, her eyes fixed on you as she nodded. "i thought you might like it," she replied, her voice laced with a hint of mischief. "consider it a little treat for your hard work."

as you took a sip of the tea, the warmth spreading through your body, you couldn't help but wonder if this was a genuine gesture or another calculated move. the rumors and warnings echoed in the back of your mind, reminding you to remain vigilant.

but you found yourself brushing the worries off because of her kind gesture. was she really that bad as people were making her out to be?

throughout the session, seulgi's presence remained palpable, her gaze intense as she guided you through the recording process. it was undeniable that she had a certain charisma and talent for bringing out the best in her artists.

as the day progressed, you found yourself more attuned to seulgi's every word and action, searching for any sign of ulterior motives. however, she remained professional, never crossing any obvious boundaries or exhibiting any behavior that would raise immediate concern.

yet, there was an undeniable undercurrent of tension between you, an unspoken power dynamic that you couldn't quite shake off. the connection you had once felt with seulgi had transformed into something more complicated, a delicate dance between admiration and wariness.

days turned into weeks, and the recording sessions continued. the enigma surrounding seulgi only deepened, leaving you in a constant state of uncertainty. you had moments of doubt, questioning whether the rumors were simply baseless gossip.

especially when you were receiving a lot of special treatment from the senior woman. every session, seulgi brought you something. even on your late night recording sessions, she would order dinner for you without any hesitation.

even she said herself that you were the only artist she was comfortable enough doing these things for, especially because she wanted to do it for you.

but the warnings from ningning and the underlying caution in seulgi's demeanor couldn't be ignored, even if you tried. and it only took one particular interaction for you to really see the reality of everything.

today, the dark haired woman wanted you to practice a particular line in the demo for your title track. it was a little out of your vocal range, but seulgi was determined to get it out of you.

her executioner gaze remained on you through the glass as you did a few takes of the line, but after the 5th run, she stood up slowly and made her way inside the booth with you.

she slowly walked in front of you, eyes never leaving yours. “let me help you, sweetheart.”

something about her tone, and the small pet name made you feel a bit fuzzy inside. you gave her a small nod, watching as she moved to stand behind you. seulgi wasn’t really tall usually, but on your producing days she always wore shoes that made her look way taller.

her mouth was behind your ear, whispering softly but not touching your hair. “do you want me to help you?”

the offer caught you off guard, and you hesitated for a moment. the warnings from ningning echoed in your mind, reminding you to be cautious. but a part of you couldn't deny the allure of seulgi's presence, the way her voice sent shivers down your spine.

with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, you turned slightly to face her, meeting her intense gaze. "i would appreciate your help, unnie."

seulgi's lips curved into a satisfied smile, and her hands gently rested on your waist, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.

her touch was both comforting and unsettling, a paradox you couldn't quite grasp.

her fingers grazed your sides, her voice resonating in your ears. “you’re not breathing right,” she whispered. “breathe slower, not faster.”

the proximity between the two of you felt unnerving, yet you couldn't deny the undeniable tension that crackled in the air. it was as if you were dancing to a dangerous melody, surrendering to the whims of an enigmatic conductor.

but amidst the intensity, a voice in the back of your mind reminded you of the rumors, the whispers that painted seulgi as something more than just a producer. a wave of doubt washed over you, threatening to break the fragile connection forming between the two of you.

summoning all your courage, you gathered your thoughts and spoke in a soft but determined voice, barely audible above the instrumental track playing in the background. "unnie, what are you doing?"

seulgi's grip on your waist tightened briefly before she leaned closer to you, her expression unreadable because she was out of your line of sight. you could only feel her breath fanning the side of your face, and the grip of her hands.

“you don’t want to disappoint me, do you?”

seulgi's words sent a chill down your spine, and a knot formed in the pit of your stomach. the lingering doubts and warnings from ningning echoed louder than ever, urging you to be cautious and question seulgi's intentions.

taking a step back, you gently extricated yourself from seulgi's touch, creating a safe distance between the two of you. the studio suddenly felt suffocating, the air heavy with tension.

"i appreciate your guidance, unnie, but this is crossing a line," you replied, your voice steady but laced with a twinge of hesitation. "it's important to maintain a professional boundary."

seulgi's expression faltered for a moment, surprise flickering across her features. it was as if she hadn't expected you to resist her advances. she quickly composed herself, masking her reaction with a calculated smile.

"of course," she said, her voice strained with a hint of disappointment. "i apologize if i overstepped. let's focus on the music."

as you continued with the recording session, the dynamics between you and seulgi had shifted. the once mysterious allure she held had faded, replaced by an underlying tension and an unspoken understanding that the boundaries must be respected.

throughout the session, you maintained a heightened sense of awareness, ensuring your interactions with seulgi remained strictly professional. as a matter of fact, and to your surprise, she did. she didn’t even bother sparing you a second glance most of the time, making you feel a bit conflicted.

you couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and disappointment. the lingering doubts remained, but you had managed to assert yourself and establish a sense of professionalism. once the session ended for the day, you grabbed your jacket and turned to leave.

“goodnight, unnie.” you said softly, looking like a puppy who was waiting to make sure their master wasn’t upset at them. however, to your unexpected disappointment, seulgi didn’t look back and say anything else to you.

seulgi's lack of response stung, leaving you with a pang of disappointment. you had hoped for some acknowledgment or reassurance, but her silence spoke volumes. it was evident that the dynamics between you and seulgi had changed, and the mysterious allure that had initially captivated you was now replaced by a void of indifference.

as you made your way out of the studio, you couldn't help but reflect on the situation. the rumors and warnings from ningning were no longer just whispers in the wind but a tangible reminder of the potential risks that came with pursuing your dreams.

you had stood your ground, set important boundaries and made sure you protected yourself.

however, why did you feel like you had done something wrong?

when you got home that night, you couldn’t sleep. you tossed and turned in your bed, confused and feeling inexplicably hurt. seulgi was someone you admire greatly, and working with her was definitely a huge blessing.

but you couldn’t help but feel like you disappointed her, even though you were setting boundaries.

seulgi was mad at you, wasn’t she? she was going to hate you now, and she wasn’t going to treat you any differently than she was treating her co-workers.

why did that thought make your heartbeat falter? you liked it when seulgi was nice to you, especially since the only other people she’s close with are her members. she was decently close with you, too.

the internal struggle between protecting yourself and wanting seulgi's approval weighed heavily on your mind. it was difficult to reconcile the admiration and respect you had for her as a talented producer with the uncomfortable encounter in the studio.

you questioned yourself repeatedly, wondering if you had made the right decision to set boundaries.

as the night wore on, your thoughts circled back to the warnings ningning had given you. she cared about you, and her advice was rooted in concern. but now, you couldn't shake the fear of losing the positive rapport you had built with the former red velvet member.

the next day at the studio, you felt a knot in your stomach as you walked in. the atmosphere felt tense, and you were unsure of how seulgi would react to you. to your surprise, she was entirely professional, treating you just like any other artist she worked with.

there were no lingering glances or special treatment. it stung, but you reminded yourself that this was what you had wanted – a clear professional boundary.

however, as the days went by, the dynamic between you and seulgi remained distant. she didn't engage in small talk or show any interest in your life beyond the music. it hurt more than you anticipated, and you found yourself yearning for the moments when seulgi had offered her guidance and encouragement.

you couldn't help but miss the person who had made you feel special, the enigmatic conductor who had ignited a spark of curiosity within you. but now, that spark felt extinguished, leaving behind confusion and regret.

in the weeks that followed, your interactions with seulgi remained strictly professional. no more teas and dinners, or little snacks with notes. it was just a work relationship, nothing more and nothing less.

one day, as you were about to leave the studio after a recording session, you gave into the gnawing thoughts and decided to ask if the older woman was alright.

your heart wavered, torn between the need to maintain your boundaries and the desire to reach out to her.

taking a deep breath, you approached her cautiously. "seulgi unnie, is everything okay?" you asked, trying to hide the concern in your voice.

she glanced up, and for a brief moment, you caught a glimpse of something in her eyes. "i'm fine," she replied curtly, but her tone lacked the usual conviction.

you hesitated for a moment before speaking your mind, "i just wanted to say that i really appreciate your guidance during the recording sessions. you've helped me grow as an artist, and i'm grateful for that."

the former idol gave you a small nod, before looking back at the screen in front of her, clicking at a few things. “i’m glad.”

dejected. that was the right word. you felt dejected, and if from the side of seulgi’s vision you practically looked like a kicked puppy.

as you stood there, the silence between you and seulgi grew heavier. it seemed as though the connection you once shared had been irrevocably damaged. you wanted to salvage the relationship, to find a way to bridge the gap that had formed between you, but you couldn't ignore the walls that seulgi had put up.

with a heavy heart, you realized that, despite your best intentions, it seemed as if she was going to stay like this. it was a painful realization, but it was also a part of your choice.

you turned to leave, your steps heavy with disappointment. but just as you reached the door, you heard a soft voice behind you.

"wait."

you paused, your heart fluttering with a flicker of hope. turning slowly, you looked back at seulgi, who had an uncharacteristically happy expression on her face. it was like she had flipped some sort of switch from stoic and cold to acting as if nothing was wrong.

“you’ll be seeing another producer for the next few days.”

it was obvious that you couldn’t contain the look of confusion on your features at this new revelation.

“why?” you asked, voice laced with a twinge of disappointment and utter confusion.

“i want to spend more time with another trainee i’m working with.” seulgi said nonchalantly, smiling still. “today will be the last session with me until next week.”

the news took you by surprise, and a mixture of emotions washed over you. on one hand, you felt a sense of relief that the tense dynamic would be momentarily relieved, allowing you some time to process your own feelings.

on the other hand, you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment and confusion at seulgi's sudden change of behavior.

"another trainee?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

you couldn't help but wonder why seulgi hadn't mentioned this before. you were aware she worked with all the trainees when sm was making testing groups, but you were not aware she was in charge of producing for a trainee who hadn’t even debuted yet.

seulgi nodded, her voice still velvety as ever. "yes. i thought it would be best to dedicate some focused time to this trainee's development. don't worry, it's just for a short while."

despite her attempt to reassure you, the lingering doubts resurfaced. but you knew better than to question this woman who had so much power over your career.

you mustered a small smile, trying to hide your disappointment. "i understand."

as your producer had mentioned, the next day you were sitting in a different recording room with a different producer.

sm had extremely capable staff members, and it was always an honor to work with anyone here. but you felt disappointed the entire time. to your surprise, you missed seulgi.

despite the boundaries you two had set, you found yourself being unfocused and not liking the time apart from the former idol. it was odd.

on one hand, you felt like you needed to focus with this new producer and not worry about the older woman. she was just doing her job, and you needed to do yours.

but on the other hand, you felt yourself missing the special treatment from her. she was your producer, and you loved working with her, even if seulgi had hidden agendas and ulterior motives.

as the days went by, you found it increasingly challenging to concentrate on your music without seulgi's presence. the new producer was talented and supportive, but there was a spark missing, a connection that you couldn't recreate with anyone else.

you questioned yourself once again, wondering if your desire for seulgi's approval had clouded your judgment. had you become too attached to her, despite the boundaries you had set? it was a confusing mix of emotions, and you couldn't help but feel conflicted.

in the midst of your internal struggle, you received a message from ningning, asking if you were free to meet up. grateful for the opportunity to share your feelings with someone who understood, you agreed to meet her at a nearby café.

as you sat across from the asepa member, the words spilled out of you, a mixture of confusion, disappointment, and longing. you told her about the encounter with seulgi and how the dynamics had changed since you had set boundaries. ningning listened intently, her gaze sympathetic.

"i understand how you feel," she said softly. "it's natural to miss her, even if it wasn't entirely healthy. but remember, you set those boundaries for a reason. it's important to prioritize your well-being and protect yourself."

you nodded, appreciating ningning's perspective. she reminded you of the importance of self-care and staying true to your boundaries.

"like i said, it’s okay to miss her, but don't let that cloud your judgment," ning continued. "focus on your music and your growth as an artist. she’s just your producer at the end of the day.”

for some reason, that last part bothered you a little. seulgi was more than just a producer to you. sure, she may do some questionable things, but you felt connected to her beyond just a contract. she was definitely more than just someone you worked with.

the end of the week finally came, making you feel relieved in a way to finally be back with seulgi. as you approached the door to the booth, you were practically skipping with excitement to see the older woman.

you looked at your phone to check the time, making sure to go inside right when the minute changed. you didn’t want to waste a single second now that you were back working with her.

when the time changed, you pushed the door open with an excited smile on your face. however, it immediately fell when you saw the way seulgi was smiling at the trainee inside the booth.

seulgi didn’t spare you a second glance as the backtrack stopped, the other girl exiting the booth with a smile on her face. “that’ll be it for today. good job, sweetheart.” the older woman’s voice rang out, the trainee accepting the compliment with a smile as she leaned over and hugged seulgi.

“thank you, unnie. you’re amazing.” the girl not too older than you said as your producer hugged her back. seulgi chuckled softly, patting the girl’s shoulder gently.

whatever feeling it was brewing inside you, you didn’t like it. you didn’t like how this girl was hugging her, or how seulgi was calling her sweetheart.

that was your nickname. and that was your producer.

you stood frozen in the doorway, unable to tear your gaze away from the scene unfolding before you. jealousy and insecurity gnawed at your insides, causing a surge of conflicting emotions. it was a reminder that seulgi's attention wasn't solely reserved for you, and it left you feeling vulnerable and possessive.

seulgi finally looked up and noticed your presence. her expression transformed into a composed mask, hiding whatever conflicted emotions she might have been feeling.

"ah, you're here," seulgi said, her voice betraying no hint of the connection you had once shared. "this is yuna, the trainee i've been working closely with."

you managed to force a smile, though it felt strained on your lips. "nice to meet you, yuna," you greeted, trying to appear unaffected by the situation.

yuna returned the greeting with a friendly smile, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. "nice to meet you too. seulgi unnie has been such an amazing mentor to me."

the words hit you like a punch to the gut, fueling a mix of jealousy and insecurity. you couldn't help but compare yourself to yuna, wondering if she had taken your place in seulgi's eyes.

seulgi cleared her throat, sensing the discomfort in the air. "we'll be wrapping up for today," she announced, her gaze shifting between you and yuna. "yuna, why don't you head back to the trainee practice room? i'll catch up with you later."

yuna nodded, giving seulgi a grateful smile before she left the room, leaving the two of you alone. the silence between you was suffocating, and you struggled to find the right words to express your thoughts.

“alright, we’ll pick up with the last chorus you did.” seulgi said casually, maintaining professionalism. she moved to pick up a few papers on her desk before you moved your hand to stop her by grabbing her arm.

seulgi raised an eyebrow at you, glancing between your hand and her arm. “what are you doing, y/n?” she asked casually, looking at you and waiting for a response.

you held onto seulgi's arm tightly, your voice filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. "unnie, we need to talk. this can't continue like this. i can't keep pretending that everything is fine when it's not."

seulgi's composed expression faltered for a moment, a flicker of concern crossing her features. she gently freed her arm from your grip and took a step closer, her eyes searching yours. "y/n, what's wrong? what's been bothering you?"

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing thoughts. "i like you, unnie." the second the words left your mouth you regretted them. irene was 34. you were only 19. she was your producer, your senior, your mentor.

this was wrong. it was so wrong.

the older woman chuckled softly. “you’re the one who wanted to set professional boundaries, sweetheart. i don’t understand why the sudden switch up.”

you swallowed hard, feeling a mix of embarrassment and regret wash over you. you had let your emotions get the better of you, blurting out your feelings without considering the consequences. the realization of your mistake hit you like a wave, and you struggled to find the right words to explain yourself.

“aw,” she whispered as she gently brushed her palm against your cheek before she leaned in and whispered in your ear. “someone’s jealous huh?” her low tone sent shivers down your spine.

you gasped softly at the touch and the intimate proximity, feeling a rush of conflicting emotions course through your veins. seulgi's words and actions only heightened the intensity of the moment, and you found it difficult to gather your thoughts.

a hue of pink flushed your cheeks as you stammered out a response. "i didn't mean to come across as jealous," you stuttered, your voice barely audible. "just seeing you with yuna, hearing the way you interacted with her, it made me question my own place in your life."

seulgi's features softened in a way that seemed genuine, her thumb gently caressing your cheek. "you’re so cute when you’re jealous, princess." she whispered lowly, predatory eyes contrasting her soft demeanor.

your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to make sense of the situation. seulgi's comment only served to heighten your confusion and the intensity of your emotions. it was clear that seulgi was enjoying teasing you, but you couldn't help but wonder if there was more behind her words.

as you opened your mouth to speak, the older woman hushed you gently and moved so you were leaning against the desk. she leaned in closer to you, her breath fanning your lips which were mere inches away from hers.

“do you want me, sweetheart?” her midnight eyes locked onto yours, gaze not tearing away for even a moment. “because i want you. you’re so talented,” slowly she moved her hand down your hip, caressing your waist with her free hand.

your heart raced, caught in a whirlwind of desire and uncertainty. the intensity of seulgi's gaze and the seductive tone of her voice sent a shiver down your spine. you had never imagined this scenario unfolding between you and your producer, and yet, here you were, feeling the weight of the moment.

her touch on your waist sent a jolt of electricity through your body, and you found yourself leaning into her, unable to resist the magnetic pull between you. the air crackled with anticipation as you searched for the right words to respond.

"unnie this is wrong," you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. "we need to consider the consequences."

the older woman found your hesitation adorable in the most sinister way possible. she didn’t care about any consequences, because there weren’t any.

at least, for her there weren’t any.

“you’re forgetting who i am, sweetheart.” she husked out, slowly whispering to you once more as she slipped her hand onto the top of your thigh. “no one will do anything to you as long as you’re with me, i promise.”

your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. the allure of seulgi's touch and her promises of protection were tempting, but deep down, you knew that giving in to this forbidden desire could have serious consequences.

it wasn't just about your careers or the potential scandal; it was about the imbalance of power and the ethical implications of engaging in a romantic relationship with your producer.

"are you sure?" you replied, your voice trembling slightly. seulgi only grinned like the cheshire cat she was. “you trust me, don’t you?” her silver tongued words persuaded you easily once again.

caught up in the intensity of the moment, your judgment wavered. the desire for seulgi, mixed with the reassurance of her promises, clouded your thoughts. in that vulnerable moment, you found yourself nodding, your trust in her overpowering any remaining doubts.

seulgi's grin widened, revealing a hint of triumph. she leaned in closer, her lips grazing your earlobe as she whispered, "then let go of your worries, princess. just focus on us."

her words sent a surge of anticipation through your body, overpowering the last remnants of hesitation. you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to succumb to the intoxicating allure of the forbidden. the thought of consequences became a distant echo as seulgi's touch consumed your senses.

she captured your lips with a hunger that mirrored your own, igniting a passionate fire between you. the kiss deepened, becoming a desperate exploration of each other's desires. the weight of the world faded away, leaving only the two of you entangled in a web of longing and lust.

time lost all meaning as you surrendered to the moment, giving in to the forbidden love that had been brewing between you. every touch, every whispered word, fueled the flames of desire. in that stolen space, you found solace and bliss, even if it meant sacrificing the boundaries you had once set.

days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. your secret relationship with seulgi continued in the shadows, hidden from prying eyes. despite the risks, the moments you shared with her were filled with passion and tenderness. each stolen glance, each stolen touch, reinforced the bond that had formed between you.

but as time went on, you noticed something shifting in your relationship with seulgi.

hate to give the satisfaction

asking how you're doing now

how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

“sing the higher register, y/n.” the older woman commanded with her velvety voice, brushing a strand of hair out of her face as she looked at you through the glass.

taking a deep breath, you tried to gather your thoughts. you had been singing the same line over and over again because seulgi insisted on you singing out of your range. you really didn’t want to, but you never told the older woman no.

despite this upcoming album being yours, you never had any say in anything. whatever seulgi wanted, was what was used. you had zero input on any of it. however, you were tired of that.

you wanted a say in your music, even if it was just a small change in the register.

shifting the headphones on your head, you turned to look at your producer through the glass. “baby?” you asked softly, making the former idol’s head whip in your direction.

seulgi’s eyes narrowed instantly, an icy stare bearing into yours. “it’s unnie when we’re working, y/n. don’t call me that.”

her response sent a chill down your spine, a stark contrast to the tenderness and affection you had experienced in your private moments. the sudden change in demeanor reminded you of the power dynamics at play in your relationship and the control she wielded over your career.

taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you pushed back the nagging voice of doubt and fear. you had to stand up for yourself, right? it felt like the right thing to do, anyway.

"unnie," you said, your voice firm yet composed. "i want to be involved in the creative process of my music. it's my album, too, and i should have a say in how it's shaped."

seulgi's eyes narrowed further, her lips curling into a condescending smirk. "oh, really?” even through the glass, her stare made you feel a knot in your stomach. “and what makes you think you have the experience or knowledge to make those decisions? i've been in this industry for years, and i know what works."

her dismissive tone reminded you of your place in this picture. but even then, you felt as if your lack of experience wasn’t something that immediately removed you from your own creative process.

"i may not have your years of experience, but this is my art, my expression. no one knows my voice and vision better than i do."

the former idol’s grip tightened around the pen she held in her hand, her knuckles turning white. "don't forget your place, y/n.” she said in a low tone, her steely gaze still locked onto your face.

“you're lucky to even have this opportunity. i can easily replace you if you don't cooperate."

her words stung, but you knew she was right. this was a competitive industry, and the fact that she was even working with you was the best case scenario for your career.

you slowly ducked your head and put the headphones back on, earning a smug smile from the older woman behind the glass. for some reason, you could feel yourself wondering if seulgi really did care about you.

but if she didn’t care about you, why would she be helping you?

once you situated yourself, you looked back at your lover who was still smiling condescendingly at you.

“good girl, now sing the higher register of the bridge.”

just what you wanted

look at you, cool guy, you got it

i see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when i close my eyes

you sat in the studio and twireled the pen in your fingers, looking over a few of your notes for the title track you had been working on. the sound of the door opening was what made your gaze shift from the paper.

seulgi shut the door behind her, a smile on her face as she walked over to you with a small box in her hands. “hi sweetheart,” she whispered as she pressed her lips to the side of your temple. relaxing at the small action, your eyes met hers with a mirrored smile.

“i have something for you.” she added, sitting in the chair next to you as she slid the black box across towards you.

you were confused for a moment, but slowly opened the box. a small gasp escaped your lips as you saw what was inside.

a beautiful iridescent diamond bracelet.

the sight of the exquisite diamond bracelet left you momentarily speechless. its iridescent beauty captivated your gaze, reflecting the studio lights in a mesmerizing display. your fingers grazed over the delicate links, feeling the weight of the gift in your hands.

"unnie," you trailed off, unable to find the right words to express your gratitude and surprise. it was an extravagant gift, one that held both symbolic and material significance.

seulgi's eyes sparkled with a mix of anticipation and affection as she watched your reaction. "i wanted to show you how much i believe in you, how much i care about your success," she explained, her voice soft and genuine.

"i want to see you shine."

as her words sank in, a wave of conflicting emotions washed over you. the gesture was undeniably thoughtful, yet it also served as a reminder of the power dynamics at play. seulgi's control over your career was reinforced by her ability to both reward and manipulate.

“i don’t know what to say,” you chuckled in disbelief. the older woman leaned in closer to you, cupping your face gently as she moved the box to hold you closer.

“don’t say anything, sweetheart.”

her warm breath brushed against your cheek, and you couldn't help but be drawn in by her magnetic presence. the softness of her touch was alluring, and for a moment, it was easy to forget about the complexities of your relationship.

as seulgi's thumb gently caressed your cheek, you could feel all of those foolish thoughts slipping away. and once her lips were on your neck, it was even easier to forget about everything, including your previous disagreement just a few days ago.

if only you could forget seeing yuna wearing the same exact bracelet as she left the studio that afternoon after you saw seulgi.

six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise

i loved you truly

you gotta laugh at the stupidity

“y/n, i told you i can’t go with you.” seulgi said in frustration, moving your hand from her wrist. the two of you had agreed to go out and see a movie later after your session was over. however, at the last minute your lover decided she couldn’t go with you.

her words struck you like a dagger, cutting through the illusion of the paradise you had built together. the frustration in seulgi's voice revealed a truth you had been avoiding—the limitations of your forbidden love.

a pang of hurt shot through your heart as you struggled to comprehend the sudden shift in her demeanor. "but you said you would go with me," you managed to say, your voice trembling with a mix of confusion and disappointment.

seulgi let out a weary sigh, her eyes avoiding yours. "i know, but i have to stay late tonight." her attention was focused on the stack of papers in front of her as she shuffled them.

confusion and frustration welled up inside you. "what are you talking about? you told me you had the night off.”

seulgi hesitated for a moment, her gaze still fixated on the papers. "something came up last minute, y/n. i'm sorry, but i have to handle it. it's important."

the disappointment and disbelief in your voice were evident as you replied, "so, you're just canceling our plans without even discussing it with me?"

seulgi finally looked up, her expression a mix of anger and frustration. "i didn't plan for this to happen, y/n. but sometimes life throws unexpected curveballs at us, and i have to deal with them. it doesn't mean i don't care about you, it’s just being an adult."

you may not be as experienced as her in life or in the industry, but those last words were definitely aimed at you and your age.

seulgi's words stung, hitting you right where it hurt the most. the reminder of your youth and the limitations it brought to your relationship made you feel small and insignificant. anger flared within you, fueling a fiery response.

"is that what this is about, seulgi? my age?" you exclaimed, your voice laced with frustration. "i may be younger than you, but that doesn't invalidate my feelings or the importance of our relationship. i deserve respect and consideration, just like anyone else."

seulgi's eyes rolled. “i’m not arguing with you about a stupid movie, y/n. can you just leave already? yuna is coming in and i need to run a song with her.” she snapped.

seulgi's dismissive and harsh response shocked you, leaving you speechless for a moment. the weight of her words, combined with the sudden change in her demeanor, pierced through your heart like a thousand tiny knives. it became clear that the paradise you had once believed in was nothing more than a facade, masking the reality of a toxic relationship.

a mix of hurt and anger coursed through your veins, empowering you to find your voice. "i can't believe this, seulgi," you managed to say, your voice trembling with a mix of pain and frustration. "is this how little i mean to you? am i just someone you can push aside whenever it's convenient for you?"

seulgi sighed, her frustration now tinged with impatience. "you're blowing this out of proportion, y/n. it's just one movie.”

her dismissive tone only fueled the fire within you. "it’s not just a movie. it's about respect and consideration in a relationship. i deserve someone who values my time and treats me as an equal, regardless of age or any other factor."

seulgi's eyes flashed with irritation, her patience wearing thin. "well, maybe you should find someone who can give you that," she retorted, her words dripping with a mix of sarcasm and disdain.

you stormed out of the room and went home that night infuriated. as you tossed and turned in bed, you tried to rationalize with yourself.

maybe she was tired, and had a long day. she couldn’t have meant anything she told you, right? she was probably just frustrated.

it was childish of you to make excuses for her, but you couldn’t help it. seulgi was everything to you, both in and out of your relationship.

you truly did love her, and you would do anything to keep her from leaving you. if only you knew your devotion would be tested to its very limit.

and every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

you called them crazy, god, i hate the way i called 'em crazy too

one day, as you were leaving the studio after a particularly grueling session with seulgi, you received a message from ningning. it was a link to an article with a headline that sent chills down your spine.

former trainees speak out: allegations against producer kang seulgi

your heart raced as you clicked on the article, and as you read the testimonies from anonymous trainees who claimed to have experienced coercion, manipulation, and exploitation under seulgi's guidance, your worst fears seemed to be confirmed.

each account mirrored the warnings you had received, painting a grim picture of the person you loved dearly. the once-mysterious allure that had captivated you now revealed a darker side, a side that preyed on vulnerability and ambition.

you couldn't help but feel a mix of anger and confusion. anger at the betrayal of trust, but more confused because you couldn’t help but deny everything these testimonies were saying. a large part of you felt like these trainees were blowing things out of proportion, especially since the woman you loved didn’t sound anything like the person they were portraying.

you knew the entertainment industry was messed up, but you never would have imagined that seulgi would be a part of that statistic. but you needed to know for yourself, you needed to ask the woman you loved if any of these accusations were true.

you're so convincing

how do you lie without flinching?

the next day, seulgi arrived before you. it wasn’t that you were late, but rather that she was way earlier. as you closed the door behind you, you could tell the atmosphere was thick with tension. it was as if she already knew that you saw those articles.

“sit.”

it was a simple command, and you obeyed like a dog.

as you took a seat, a surge of resentment welled up inside you. the power dynamics that had always been present in your relationship were now magnified by the weight of the allegations. you felt a mix of anger, confusion, and a lingering sense of denial.

seulgi sat across from you, her face devoid of the usual warmth and charm that once drew you in. instead, her expression held a ghostly emotionless mask, as if she had prepared herself for this confrontation.

"y/n," she began, her voice measured but tinged with a hint of defensiveness. "i know you've read those articles, and i understand your concerns. but you have to believe me when i say that some of those allegations are exaggerated or taken out of context."

you looked at her, trying to decipher the truth behind her words. the conflicting emotions inside you made it difficult to discern what was genuine and what was a manipulation.

"i can't just ignore what i've read, seulgi," you replied, your voice laced with a mixture of frustration and pain. "how can i trust you when these trainees, who have nothing to gain, have come forward with their experiences?"

seulgi's gaze hardened, a flicker of frustration crossing her face. “so you’re really choosing those lies over me? you really believe them and not me?” she scoffed in mock disbelief.

you felt a pang of guilt at seulgi's words, as if you were betraying her by even considering the possibility that the allegations were true. but the weight of the testimonies and the doubts gnawing at your conscience were too heavy to ignore.

"i'm not saying i believe everything without question," you responded, your voice filled with a mix of sadness and determination. "but these accounts are troubling, seulgi. they can't be dismissed outright. i need to know the truth, and that means asking you directly."

seulgi's eyes flashed with a mix of anger and hurt. "you think i'm capable of all those things? you think i've been lying to you this whole time?" her voice trembled with a fragile combination of indignation and vulnerability.

your heart wavered, torn between the woman you loved and the need for transparency. you couldn’t come up with a response, but thankfully she continued speaking.

"the entertainment industry is ruthless. people will do anything to tarnish someone's reputation, especially when they feel threatened or envious."

her words rang hollow, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of disillusionment. the woman you once idolized was now justifying her actions instead of taking responsibility.

"seulgi, i can't pretend that everything is okay," you said, your voice steady but filled with sadness. "i need to take a step back and reevaluate our relationship. i need time to process all of this, to determine what's true and what's not."

seulgi's eyes widened, a mix of disbelief and feigned panic flickering across her features. "y/n, please don't do this. if you love me, you won’t do this.”

the words of protest died in your throat, and you saw water drops falling from her eyes. if only you knew they were crocodile tears.

instinctively, you reached out and hugged her. a myriad of apologies fell from your lips as you kissed her temple repeatedly. subconsciously, you kept telling yourself it was your fault that she was crying.

you should have known better. you should have been better.

oh, what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill

can't figure out just how you do it and god knows i never will

the sessions following that incident were volatile, especially as the company was giving more deadlines for your album.

"you don't understand, y/n," she snapped, her voice tinged with frustration. "you're not ready to make those decisions. you need someone like me to guide you, to shape you into something marketable."

frustrated, you took the headphones off of your head and turned to glare at her through the window of glass separating the two of you. “but i don’t want to be marketable, i want to be honest."

seulgi's face twisted with a mix of anger and disappointment, her eyes burning with a fierce intensity. "honesty won't get you far in this industry, y/n," she retorted sharply. "you have to play the game, make compromises. that's how success is achieved."

her words struck a nerve, and a surge of defiance coursed through your veins. you had always been told to follow your passion, to be true to yourself, and now seulgi's words felt like a betrayal of those principles.

"i refuse," you declared, your voice resolute. "i want to create music that resonates with people, that speaks from my heart. if that means going against the industry norms, then so be it."

seulgi's expression hardened, her facade of control slipping for a moment. "you're being naïve, y/n," she spat, her tone dripping with condescension. "you'll learn soon enough that the music industry is not a place for dreamers. it's cutthroat, and if you don't adapt, you'll be left behind."

your eyes challenged her stare, and you clenched your jaw. however, the older woman’s icy glare didn’t falter even for a moment.

“how do you know what’s going to be good for me?” you spat back.

seulgi's lips curled into a cold, mocking smile. "because i've been in this industry longer than you, y/n," she replied, her voice dripping with superiority. "i've seen countless dreams shattered and talents wasted because they refused to play by the rules. i'm just trying to save you from the same fate."

her condescending tone only fueled your determination. you had come to realize that seulgi's version of success was built on compromises and manipulation, and you refused to follow that path.

"i believe in my own vision," you stated firmly, your voice filled with newfound confidence. "i won't sacrifice my integrity and creativity for the sake of fitting into a mold. if that means taking a different path or facing more challenges, then so be it."

seulgi's eyes narrowed, her expression a mix of frustration and anger. "you're making a mistake, y/n," she warned, her voice laced with a barely contained fury. "you'll regret this decision."

without another word, you exited the booth and made your way towards the door. the weight of the tension in the room was suffocating, and you needed to escape its grasp.

as you reached for the doorknob, seulgi's voice pierced through the silence. "you think you can make it on your own? you think you don't need me?" she taunted, her voice filled with bitter disdain and mockery.

you turned to face her, your gaze unwavering. "i don't need you to succeed, seulgi," you replied, your voice steady. "i never did.”

the older woman laughed at you, chuckling as she stood up and walked over to you. she pulled you in by your waist, lips pressed against the shell of your ear. “no one will handle you the way i do. they’ll all tell you the same thing.”

your mouth went dry, and your thoughts were going wild. it was as if every time she touched you, you could feel yourself losing control over any logic and reason.

“you’re just frustrated, and that’s why you’re overreacting.” she whispered seductively, moving her hands up and down your sides.

you could feel her warm breath against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. the familiarity of her touch and the intensity of her presence made it difficult to think clearly. but amidst the confusion, a voice deep within you whispered that this was not right, that you deserved better.

if only that voice was louder, then maybe it would be convincing enough for you.

she gently lifted your shirt over your head and pulled you in for a slow, deep kiss. you didn’t put up a fight and let her kiss you. “you’ve been so stressed, sweetheart. no one else is going to help you de-stress like i do.” seulgi husked against your lips as one of her hands moved to unbutton your shorts.

“i care about you, i love you, they won’t do this for you. only i know what’s best for you, baby.”

your mind was foggy, the familiar words and touches were seducing you further, and you were doing anything but resisting.

you didn’t know how she did it, she always managed to pull you back into her trap. it was a vicious cycle, but you would never leave. her words were only somewhat convincing at times.

but seulgi’s actions were definitely better at convincing you to stay, especially when she was fingering you on the desk of the recording studio and making you apologize for even considering leaving her.

went for me and not her

'cause girls your age know better

“unnie why don’t you work with the aespa members?” you asked one day, tilting your head to the side as you looked up at her.

seulgi’s gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips before a small scoff escaped from her. “they’re not receptive to new creativity. i don’t think they’d understand the vision i see for them.”

you hummed for a moment, thinking about what she had said. the only reason you had asked her this, was because you had told ning about what happened at your last session.

ningning had told you to ask the older woman why she wasn’t working with her group. she didn’t tell you why she wanted you to ask, but she did mention something about you “seeing for yourself” the truth.

“are you close with the aespa girls?” the older woman casually asked. her eyes remained on the monitor in front of her. your answer was a small shake of the head.

“not really, i’m only close with one of them.”

your response made her breath hitch, and you could tell it caught her a little off guard. slowly, she bit the inside of her cheek and glanced at you. “yeah? who?”

a mix of curiosity and caution danced in seulgi's eyes as she awaited your response. you could sense that something was amiss, that there was a hidden meaning behind your friend’s request and seulgi's sudden interest in your connection with the aespa members.

you hesitated for a moment, uncertain of the implications of your words. but as you glanced at seulgi's guarded expression, you realized that it was time to uncover the truth.

"ningning," you replied, your voice steady but tinged with a hint of suspicion. "she's the one i'm closest to."

seulgi's eyes widened imperceptibly, and a flicker of unease crossed her features. she quickly composed herself and shrugged casually, attempting to maintain her composure. "oh, i see. that's interesting."

the atmosphere in the room became tense, and you knew there was more to this story. you couldn't help but wonder why seulgi seemed bothered by your connection with ningning and the aespa members.

"did ningning tell you to ask me that?" she asked, voice laced with curiosity and a touch of suspicion as her gaze hardened.

you could feel the weight of seulgi's piercing stare, her eyes boring into yours, searching for any signs of deception. it was clear that she suspected ningning's involvement in this conversation.

caught off guard by the direct question, you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much to reveal. but you knew that honesty was the only path forward.

"yes, she did," you admitted, your voice unwavering. "she wanted me to ask you about why you're not working with aespa.”

seulgi's expression tightened, a mixture of frustration and apprehension flickering across her face. she seemed torn between her desire to keep whatever secret she held and her growing unease at your knowledge.

"why did she tell you to ask me that?" seulgi inquired, her voice carrying a hint of caution.

you took a deep breath, your mind racing with the possibilities. you couldn't shake the feeling that something significant lay beneath the surface, waiting to be exposed.

all you did was shrug, watching as the older woman shifted in her chair uncomfortably. “don’t worry about it. it’s not important.” she said sternly, motioning with her hand for you to get up and go inside the booth to record.

you hesitated for just a split second, mouth opening to protest and want to ask further about the issue. but your actions were met with a pair of midnight eyes glaring at you. “get up, y/n. now.”

like a dog, you obeyed once again. you didn’t ask seulgi anything else after that.

you said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?

you can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart

you would always cry after your sessions with the former idol. turmoil was evident inside you, and you couldn't understand why seulgi was saying she did everything because she loved you. if she loved you, why did she always make you cry?

was love supposed to hurt like this?

the tears streamed down your cheeks as you pondered the painful question. the weight of confusion and emotional turmoil had become too much to bear. seulgi's words of love felt like a cruel paradox, leaving you trapped in a cycle of heartache.

you couldn't fathom how love could cause such pain and confusion. it was borderline unbelievable that the soft spoken former idol was capable of such heinous things.

was this really what love was supposed to be?

if seulgi really loved you, were you supposed to feel this small? she always made you sound so little and insignificant. perhaps it was because of the differences in your ages.

the significant age difference between you and the older woman added another layer of complexity to the situation. you couldn't help but question whether her actions were driven by a power dynamic or a desire for control. it seemed as though she used her experience and influence to manipulate and belittle you, leaving you feeling diminished and inadequate.

love was supposed to be nurturing and uplifting, a source of strength and support. but in this case, it felt like a destructive force that eroded your self-esteem and happiness. you wondered if this was truly what love was meant to be, or if you were caught in a toxic relationship disguised as affection.

deep down, you knew that love shouldn't hurt like this. it should bring joy, understanding, and mutual growth. the pain you experienced with seulgi went against everything you believed love should be, making you question whether it was worth holding onto such a tumultuous connection.

but you knew you couldn’t leave her. you loved her, even if she didn’t truly love you.

i tried to help you out, now i know that i can't

'cause how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand

“baby?” you whispered softly, slowly taking your headphones off of your head as you watched the older woman cutting and snipping parts of your song on the screen.

seulgi only ignored you, focusing on the work in front of her. you fidgeted with your fingers, debating on whether or not to call her once more.

as you hesitated, a sense of vulnerability washed over you. you had tried countless times to communicate your feelings to her, hoping she would understand the pain she was causing you.

yet, each attempt seemed to fall on deaf ears, leaving you feeling unheard and invisible.

the realization dawned on you that the love you held for seulgi might be a one-sided affair. it seemed as though she was more invested in her own ambitions and desires than in nurturing a healthy and compassionate relationship with you.

the discrepancy between her words of love and her actions left you feeling confused and isolated.

taking a deep breath, you mustered the courage to speak up once again. "baby, can we talk?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly. the silence in the room seemed to stretch endlessly before she finally glanced your way, her expression a mix of impatience and indifference.

"can't you see i'm busy?" she snapped, her tone dismissive. the sting of her words pierced your heart, further reinforcing the emotional turmoil you were enduring.

you realized that you had reached a breaking point. you couldn't continue in this cycle of pain and neglect, where your feelings were consistently disregarded.

“seulgi.”

the sternness of your tone caught the former idol off guard a little. you hadn’t talked back to her in a long time. it was something she forgot you were capable of doing.

her dark eyes flickered towards you for a moment, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

a calculating smile played on seulgi's lips as she observed your newfound assertiveness. she was well aware of her ability to manipulate and control, and your display of defiance intrigued her. with a subtle shift in her demeanor, she decided to play along, seizing the opportunity to maintain her grip on the relationship.

"what's the matter, darling?" she asked, her voice dripping with feigned concern. "you seem upset. did something happen?"

your heart sank at the coldness in her tone, but you refused to back down. "i've been feeling neglected, seulgi," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "it's like you don't prioritize our relationship. i thought we were supposed to support each other, but it feels like i'm not even a priority for you."

she tilted her head, a glimmer of amusement dancing in her eyes. "oh, sweetheart, you know i care about you," she said, her voice honeyed with insincerity. "but sometimes sacrifices must be made for greatness. it's not easy juggling a successful career and a relationship, you know?"

you felt a surge of frustration at her dismissive response. it was clear she was manipulating the situation, deflecting responsibility and minimizing your concerns. but you were determined not to let her control the narrative.

"of course i know that," you countered, your voice steady despite the emotional turmoil within. "but a relationship should be a partnership, where both parties prioritize and support each other. it can't be one-sided."

seulgi's smile tightened, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "are you suggesting that i'm the one neglecting you?" she asked, her tone laced with a calculated mix of innocence and accusation. "i've given you so much, sacrificed so many opportunities for us. yet here you are, questioning my dedication."

her words hit you like a blow, causing doubt to creep into your mind. was it possible that you were overreacting? could you be misinterpreting her actions?

but deep down, you knew the truth. you had been longing for a love that was nurturing and supportive, not one where your feelings were constantly disregarded. you couldn't let her manipulation sway you any longer.

summoning your inner strength, you met her gaze head-on. "seulgi, i deserve a love that is genuine and reciprocal," you asserted, your voice steady. "if you can't provide that, then maybe we need to reconsider our relationship."

for a brief moment, a flicker of surprise crossed seulgi's face, her mask of control slipping ever so slightly. but just as quickly, it was replaced by a steely resolve.

"fine," she replied, her voice dripping with icy determination. "if that's what you want, then go ahead. but remember, darling, you'll never find someone who loves you as i do."

i've made some real big mistakes

but you make the worst one look fine

you should have known seulgi was right. everywhere you went to look for other producers or other companies had shut you down. one of them even told you in an email that you were apparently blacklisted from their entertainment district.

tears fell from your eyes as you held your head in your hands. it was so frustrating. seulgi had so much power and influence over your career, making you stuck.

it was obvious that she was manipulating the company to block your contract from leaving sm. you couldn't believe the extent of seulgi's manipulation. she had not only controlled your emotions and disregarded your feelings but now she was actively sabotaging your career prospects.

the realization hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you feeling trapped and helpless.

as the tears continued to flow, you couldn't shake off the despair that enveloped you. seulgi's actions had effectively isolated you from any opportunity for growth and success outside of her influence.

it seemed as though she had built an impenetrable fortress around you, ensuring that you remained under her control.

you showed up to the studio one day with puffy eyes and a broken spirit. you knew you couldn’t fight back any longer. after wiping your sleeve, you entered the room.

the older woman turned in her chair and grinned like a madman, the same way she did when she had kissed you for the first time.

seulgi's grin sent a shiver down your spine. it was a sinister expression, devoid of any genuine affection or care. in that moment, you realized just how deeply she had manipulated you and how trapped you truly were.

with a mocking tone, seulgi spoke, her voice laced with a mix of amusement and malice. "my dear, it seems you've finally realized the extent of your helplessness," she sneered. "you thought you could defy me, challenge my control over you. but i've always been one step ahead."

your heart sank further, the weight of her words crushing your spirit. the once vibrant and passionate artist within you felt extinguished, replaced by a shadow of your former self.

seulgi continued, relishing in her power over you. "you see, my darling, i hold all the cards in this game," she taunted. "i've woven a web of influence and manipulation, ensuring that you remain trapped within my grasp. no one will sign you, no one will work with you. you are mine, and there's nothing you can do about it."

desperation washed over you as you realized the truth of her words. the doors that were once open to your dreams had been slammed shut by seulgi's cunning maneuvers. it felt as though your entire world had crumbled, leaving you stranded in a sea of hopelessness.

the older woman only grinned wider at the sight of your sudden tear-filled realization. seulgi chuckled softly, standing up and putting her palm on your cheek.

"oh, darling," she cooed, her voice dripping with condescension. "you really think anyone else would want you? i've built your career from the ground up. without me, you're nothing."

and she was right. you were nothing without her, both in and out of the industry.

i should've known it was strange

you only come out at night

the midnight moon shone into your apartment. shadows danced as you slowly made your way to the door, eyes puffy and red from all the crying you had done earlier.

through the peephole, you saw a familiar silhouette with an all too familiar pair of eyes.

with a deep sigh, you opened it to see your secret lover standing there. a smug grin was on seulgi’s face, obsidian eyes meeting yours in the dark. “aw you look miserable, sweetheart.” she chuckled in feigned innocence. from behind her back, she pulled out a bouquet of flowers.

i used to think i was smart

but you made me look so naive

your heart wavered as you looked at the flowers, a mixture of confusion and trepidation filling your mind. it was difficult to resist the familiarity and comfort that seulgi offered, despite the toxic nature of your relationship.

part of you longed for her affection and validation, while another part recoiled at the thought of continuing to be manipulated by her.

seulgi stepped closer, her eyes locked onto yours, her voice dripping with false sweetness. "i know it's been tough, my dear," she said, her tone laced with calculated empathy. "but i brought you these flowers to remind you of the love and support i've given you throughout your career. no one else can understand you the way i do."

her words were like a seductive whisper, tempting you to fall back into her web of control. but deep down, you knew that accepting her gift meant surrendering your autonomy and happiness once again.

summoning your courage, you took a step back, creating a distance between you and seulgi. the bouquet of flowers felt heavy in your hand as you struggled to find the right words. "look, i appreciate the gesture, but this doesn't change the fact that you've manipulated and controlled me for far too long," you said, your voice firm, yet tinged with a bit of hesitation.

it was obvious that you were still terrified of defying her, even now.

seulgi's smile wavered for a split second, her eyes narrowing in subtle frustration. but just as quickly, she regained her composure, her expression shifting to one of feigned concern.

"oh, my dear, you're mistaken," she replied, her voice coated in faux sincerity. "i've only ever wanted what's best for you. everything i've done, every decision i've made, has been to protect you and your career. can't you see that?"

you could feel the tug of her words, the familiar manipulation seeping into your thoughts. but you refused to be swayed this time. you had glimpsed the darkness beneath seulgi's facade, and you knew that staying with her would only lead to further pain and self-destruction.

“you keep gaslighting me, seulgi.” you replied, sniffling a little as you wiped your nose with your sleeve and shook your head.

the older woman took a step forward, scoffing slightly as she placed the flowers on your counter and shut the door behind her. her hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you tightly against her front.

“you don’t even know what gaslighting is, sweetheart.”

you tensed up in her grip, the contradiction of her words and actions not lost on you. the way she dismissed your concerns and belittled your understanding only further highlighted her manipulative nature.

it was a twisted dance, one where she sought to maintain control by distorting your perception of reality.

“you know i love you,” she whispered as she trailed a hand up your back while the other remained on your waist. “i could never do that to you. my special girl,” her lips brushed against yours delicately.

“no,” you whimpered and tried to move away from her. but it was no use, mentally and physically, you were drawn into her. it didn’t matter what she did, she would always have you.

you were hers. forever.

the way you sold me for parts

as you sunk your teeth into me, oh

that night was full of more false promises and silver tongued lies. every touch and kiss was just a carefully crafted plan for your lover to hold you tighter in her grasp.

as you woke, the cold from the sheets made you realize immediately that seulgi did not stay the night with you after you two had been intimate. rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you winced at the soreness on your neck. courtesy of seulgi herself, of course.

you reached over to see if maybe she had texted you after she left, but the only notification you saw was from ningning 2 hours ago.

SM ENTERTAINMENT’S YUNA SET TO HAVE HER OWN SOLO ALBUM DROPPING THIS WEEKEND.

anger and confusion filled your heart, but as you scrolled through the article, you couldn’t help but begin to cry like you never had before.

seulgi had used your songs for yuna’s own album.

tears streamed down your face, mixing with the anguish and betrayal that coursed through your veins. the realization hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless and shattered.

seulgi had taken the songs you worked together on, and handed them over to another artist. it was a blatant act of betrayal, a stark reminder of how little you truly meant to her.

the pain of seeing your art being used to elevate someone else while you remained confined and controlled under seulgi's thumb was unbearable.

it was a bitter pill to swallow, further proof that you were nothing more than a pawn in her game.

but you should have known better. vampires like her only drained their victims of every drop of creativity and talent, leaving them hollow and discarded.

seulgi had seen your potential and talent as a means to further her own agenda, to solidify her power and maintain control. it was all a lie, a facade and calculated moves of deception.

she never loved you. not even for a moment.

bloodsucker, fame fucker

bleedin' me dry like a goddamn vampire

𝗮/𝗻: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗶 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝘆-

#seulgi red velvet #kang seulgi #seulgi x reader #kpop fic #toxic kpop fic #angst #red velvet x reader #pls talk to someone if you are in a situation like this #red velvet oneshot #seulgi oneshot #vampire #perfectsunlight

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