#sflf 2018

[vesperthine]

day 7 - people ♡

fandom isn’t much without people. and some people are just more suited for you than others.

and i don’t think my fandom experience would be as good as it is, if it wasn’t for the company and friendship with @champagneleftie @skamskada @nofeartina @himmelskys @wherebluebirdssing. you inspire me, encourage me, i always feel like i can lean on you a little bit and i’ve never had as much fun as i do with you! it’s stunning, and you never fail to put a smile on my face with your antics when i’m down. thank you so much ♡

and i can never thank @tristealven enough: you are so inspiring, thoughtful and wise. so, so wise. and that you wanted to betaread my fic, that time, it changed everything. we don’t talk on the daily, but i always love talking to you ♡

@irazor, you’re one of my favourite people ever. so amazingly upbeat, and i feel honoured that you let me betaread your fics (even if our thresholds for cheesiness are a bit different!) and so grateful whenever you take your time to look through mine. thank you ♡

@mynameisnotthepoint you changed the translation game for me, and made me excited about writing again after a slump. thank you; you are the cutest, and i can’t thank you enough for all the work you put into vents and the icelandic fic ♡

then there’s all the people i don’t talk to, but i also see you, all my mutuals liking and replying and just making my little corner here such a pleasant one. thank you for sticking with me ♡

[aimitis]

SKAM FIC LOVE FEST Day 1: Comments

Jag har gått omkring och flinat som en galning idag, efter att ha blivit nämnd i flera poster om kommentarer <3 Ibland känner jag mig som en dålig läsare som inte hänger med, inte har tid att läsa så många fics som jag skulle vilja osv... men kommentera brukar jag försöka hinna med, eftersom jag själv vet hur vansinnigt mycket det kan betyda! Det har varit underbart att se exakt hur uppskattat det har varit. Tack!!! <3

Jag är fruktansvärt bortskämd med fina kommentarer själv, och det finns faktiskt några som jag kommer ihåg näst intill ordagrant, och kan börja skratta (eller blink bort en tår) åt så fort jag kommer att tänka på dem. Här är de!

Peace train

sjiraff: ...Og så må jeg bare si at jeg synes denne historien er så godt gjennomarbeidet og sammensydd på alle måter. Det virker som at ikke noe er tilfeldig, og dere har gjort et helt imponerende stykke arbeid med research til alle stedene de har vært. Skulle ønske jeg kunne reist i fotsporene til våre venner og se noe av det de har sett og opplevd. ❤️ Jeg har nesten sluttet å legge merke til om det er norsk eller svensk når jeg leser, og det betyr vel også at denne historien er helstøpt vare.Jeg vil at denne reisen skal vare i uendelig tid, så det er trist når de snakker om at det nærmer seg slutten. :/ Men sånn er det vel med alle gode bøker, ferier og historier! Takk for følget så langt. ❤️

HerthaLind: Älskar det! Vilket projekt ni har dragit igång! Blir sugen på att tågluffa nu (kanske nästa sommar...)

Är på semester och lite offline i bergen och har laddat ner så jag kan läsa detta äventyret! Verkligen imponerande!

Saknar verkligen en Vilde säsong :( gillar dynamiken mellan tjejerna, eller alla, lite hur de är i grupp och sen på tu man hand eller i mindre grupper. Magnus är också en älskling!

Ska bli spännande att se vad mer ni har kokat ihop!

Sommarlov

duerikkjealeina: Da har eg endelig fått komt meg på sommerferie med dere - hurra :-D <3 Dette er noe av finaste og såraste eg noen gang har lest :-D <3 Og så utrolig mange overaskelser da, har sitte å gispa her den siste timen, hehe ;-) Genialt av dere <3

Så fantastisk fine beskrivelser av å reise på sommerferie, alle følelsene rundt dette, bading, gamle blader, følelelsen av ukesvis med blanke ark foran deg :-D Og så blir man eldre, ting endrer seg, vennskap endrer ser og det gjør følelser også. Hvorfor er vi venner, hva er det som gjør at vi fortsatt henger sammen? Hva skjer når ting endrer seg og man kanskje har lyst å gå forskjellige veier?

Og det fine vennskapet mellom Isak og Eva da, så nydeleg, sårbart og vakkert <3 Så avhengige av hverandre, så redde for å være uten den andre, men samtidig så ønsker de begge noe annnet tenker eg.Og dette, noe av det fineste, såreste og ærligste eg noen gang har lest:

Morgnarna på bussen tillsammans då de inte ännu hunnit eller orkat sätta på sig den där masken där allt är okej. <3 <3 <3

GLEDE meg til å se hvordan dette går videre, helt imponert og rørt :-D <3

@amfelia:  Stemningen i denne historien er helt fantastisk, dere beskriver en tenåringssommer så utrolig bra. Og jeg liker universet dere skaper, det er så detaljrikt og nyansert, og dere gir oss historien bit for bit, som et digert puslespill som vi må sette sammen selv, se på hver bit og fundere på hvor den hører hjemme, hvor den passer inn. Noe sier meg at vi ikke kommer til å se hele bildet før aller siste bit er på plass, og det gjør meg spent, nysgjerrig og ekstremt utålmodig på neste kapittel. Denne her er på min «must read»-liste i sommer.

@tristealven: Jag älskar att ni inte var rädda för att skriva detta med tights och mascara, att ni inte var rädda för att gå dit och visa den inte så fina sidan av Isak framför Even. Det är så ic för vem Isak var när han inte var helt redo för att komma ut. Det också att han ångrade med detsamma. Det brukar han göra, ju.

Jag har bara läst så många sockersöta historier på sistone att jag blev väldigt glad av att läsa något som kändes så äkta. Gläder mig till att läsa vidare <3

fenrirulven: Åh! Äntligen händer det saker, och allt på en gång? Men så fint med Noora och Eva, hela den scenen var så fint skriven. Liksom mjukt och försiktigt. Jag gillar alltid att läsa när karaktärer upptäcker saker om sig själva och andra. Och jag vet inte, jag hoppades ni skulle skildra dem mer på det här sättet och blev väldigt glad, och har gått och väntat på att relationstaggen skulle ändras. Det känns av någon anledning alltid mer intimt att läsa femslash på sitt eget språk, på ett bra sätt.

Hoppas de kan prata nu, Eva och Isak, och hantera det här utan att det blir kaos. Kan i alla fall inte bli värre tror jag? ❤️

***

...och så ett hedersomnämnande till duerikkjealeina som hoppade på Peace train i somras, och kommenterar varje kapitel med stor iver och en hög torkpapper som obligatorisk rekvisita. Inte bara under kapitlet i sig, hon ser dessutom till att lämna lassvis med kärlek över messenger med jämna mellanrum. Ingen har fått mig att le så mycket över kommentarer som den här människan, och i en perfekt värld skulle alla ha en egen duerikkje... Love you, sötplutt! <3

[newyearsirresolution]

Skam Fic Love Fest, Attempt #3

I don't read WIPs. There, I said it. It's not that I get antsy if I don't see the "Next Chapter" button. I'm just an insatiable gremlin who likes to binge read. And so I wait, and I get excited at every update even though I don't read them, and sometimes they get so long that I feel intimidated, so they end up sitting in my "Mark for Later" section for ages, but that's a story for another day. I have to admit I made an exception for @nofeartina's Alphabet Aerobics, but I have my reasons. Every chapter can be read as a stand-alone, no cliffhangers, and it's really fucking hot ok leave me alone.

That being said, here's a list of WIPs I'm really excited about and already know I'll love.

wait for me to come home by @littlespooneven

as we both shook by @towonderland72

@skamskada and @vesperthine's collab I only learned about yesterday but I don't care my body is ready

Burning For Your Touch by @cuteandtwisted

Mondays at Sixteen by @folerdetdufoler

flowers bloom with no regret by @fille-lioncelle

Inside Out(cast) by @evakuality

(nothing like i'm) loving you now by @champagneleftie

@greathalesonfire's roommates AU

There's probably more, but those are the first that came to mind. I hope this won't sound as a "where's my fuckin fic you lazy swine" but more as a "hey if you feel demotivated here's a reminder that your fic will make someone's day".

[irazor]

Skam Fic Love Fest, Day 7: People

I can’t thank my luck enough that I’ve managed to come across so many wonderful people here. I’m sure there are so many more than I know personally that are just as awesome. But, here are some lovelies I’d like to thank for making this whole experience such a positive part of my everyday life.

@vesperthine, you’re such a cool and smart person, and it’s kind of thanks to you that I’m here now, making this post. When I offered to beta for you last fall, it was the first step towards engaging more in the fandom, actually start talking to people and not just scroll around on tumblr and read fics. And, of course, to start writing myself. Thank you for betaing my fics, making them so much better and putting up with all my cheese. <3 And for trusting me with your wonderful, wonderful writing. It is an honor beyond words.

@nofeartina, you’re such an awesome and warm person. Thank you for being such a good friend, for helping me flesh out my (sometimes pretty fuzzy) fic ideas, and for listening to my complaints about literally everything. And for trusting me to beta for you, and well, just being you. <3

@champagneleftie, you’re such a nice, wise person and an amazing writer, and I’m so honored and happy that we wrote together this summer. It was so much fun, and you have the best ideas. Thank you for betaing my Swedish fics, and for being awesome in general.

And a big thank you to @skamskada for being so cool in general, for betaing for me, for Norway-picking my fics and for your wise thoughts on Stuff. To @tristealven for screaming about cats with me, and for your warm heart. To @modestytreehouse, I look forward to... do things with you. Ha ha! And to other people who always leave encouraging comments, here and on ao3, send me messages and make extra content; @mu-zi-light, @wehave4ever, @isakvaltrsen and many more. 

I feel like I’ve forgotten so many cool people (that’s the risk of making these things). But to everyone who likes my posts, give kudos and comments on my fics, or just read what I write. Thank you. <3

[nessauepa]

#SFLF2018 Comments - Cheesy AF, bear with me

I'm sorry if I'm late, but I really need to talk about my comments/commenters, I need to spit it out. And since this event started the same day it completed 1 year (Aug 20) since my first published chapter, it felt even more special. (<3 @evaksbinder )

If your name is here, I would love to talk to you on Tumblr, just send me a message! Please.

First, 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to 136 people that left me comments till this day, you brought me so much happiness, tears, laughs, flushed cheeks <3

..., 3STB, Allieverwas, Altair_Hyperion_Black, Always_and_ever, Alwaysevak2121, Angel, Ashnalk, Audrey, Aurora, Bacongirl72, Beey95, Biluojulia, BlueNiinja_123, C_Stress, Cath8558, Coniferophyta, Dramaqueen_yes, Ericka1991, Evakkk, Felixfelicis, Girl, GirlInTheWardrobe, Haveyouever, Holmelka, Hula_Fisch, Im_a_bird, Irinilemu, Judi, Kattmatte, KittyGreenleaf, Krumme, Lee_tandld, Lelouchvibritt1, Lija, Lily_2015, LoveThem2121, Loveevak, Lovingthem, LullzAurora, Margi, Mari, MarysC, Memine, MisaAbadeer, Miss_Fi, Ninna, Noworriessarah, OLGA, Onlylove, Pipepus, PropLN, Rapunzel75, Ray, Raya R, ReadingDreams07, Riskiks, Rogueleader1987, Saby, Sara, SashaVinter, Sassy3, Sea_legs, Sinceslicedbread, SofiValtersen, Soniishawty, Stardust9909, TGSantiaga, Tammarita, Tara, Tuii, Xyla_23, Ymellil, anyadarkseid, aria, asexualalpacas, atashi7, aurora, bhenny, biancaneve, biluojulia, bliherforalltid, bonbonschnecke, burnthebruja, carryonevaks, cattyfur, chan, charlyflowers, chocolatecake, chocolatecake097, decraziness, depressed_mermaid_53, empty_venom, flowercrownisak, flowerxboy, frenc, hannakin, helleh, howmanyisaksandevens, ines azim, inflammatorywit21, ipacox, jueentjueen, lemaltine, lexixoxomaria, limegreencapes, lovershidden, ls.multifandom, lsxkam, maia_nn, mazarin01, merthurforever, nancynotruth, nveld, p_r_o_v_i_d_e_r, pagnilagni, panworld, pimsplane, pucomano, reiects, scorpionfish, sevcar_99, sherllycolmpels, skater110599, skyler, snaksak, solosilenzio, starry_eyed, subsooninen, sweetspicyho, unknownusername, w_julie, warlocked_mundane, yllawonders, Étoile

Commenters <3

ls.multifandom (aka Leigh) I just discovered you are my top commenter 27 chapters, 8/10 fics. You plotted with me, you shared your internal monologues, you re-read and commented AGAIN (WHAAAT), you fucking dedicated your first fic to me I FUCKING LOVE YOU, you brought so much happiness to my days <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

loveevak/@loveevak21  my dear co-author and someone that I admire a lot <3

Evakkk/@hollybursey7 for being such a huge support, always commenting extra comments <3

aria The best first comment anyone could receive

Biluojulia Always present on my fics (7 out of 10, whaaat). A fic is not worthy without you commenting <3 

Ericka1991 Ericka should receive a prize. She's the most active commenter through fics I've ever seen! You are such a boost of inspiration

flowercrownisak You made To The Boy With Green Eyes a much better experience (wait for it!)

Angel The most extra commenters ever!!! You made me laugh so much with your comments <3

Tuii Thank you for the huge support. The best couple of this fandom Tuii <> Laika_the_husband. <3

tbhenny Thank you for the most passionate comments a writer could receive, for inspiring me with such words.

And fuck, so many more that I could list, you all have a special place in my heart <3

Comments

Aria @ Every Minute - Chapter 1 - THE BEST FIRST COMMENT

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11859027/chapters/26775096

So, English isn't my first language, and when I posted my first fic I was scared as fuck, expecting people to laugh or trash me. Then aria posted the comment that made me tear up and shake (literally, literally).

skyler  @ Secret Admirer - Chapter 17 - THE ONE GO READER

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11916678/chapters/30288753

Always_and_ever @ Best Half of My Soul - Chapter 2 - RETURNING FOR UPDATES

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12306387/chapters/31644816

Angel @ To The Boy With Green Eyes - Chapter 14 - THE EXTRA, THE REFRESHER

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13646373/chapters/32119872

Stats :p

Since I'm a number freak, I compiled some numbers!

Top Commenters (chapters count)

27 ls.multifandom

24 Evakkk @hollybursey7

22 flowercrownisak

22 Biluojulia

21 Angel

20 Ericka1991

19 Loveevak @loveevak21

17 Tuii

14 tbhenny

Top Commenters (fics count)

8 ls.multifandom

7 Biluojulia

5 Evakkk @hollybursey7

4 Tuii

4 Loveevak @loveevak21

4 Ericka1991

[evaksbinder]

EVAKSBINDER PRESENTS: SKAM Fic Love Fest 2018!!! Day 6 - Recommendations

(Thank you to @bizexualrosadiaz​ for this wonderful header!)

Today we’re spreading some love with some fic recs! Here’s a quick reminder of the prompts for today:

Readers: make a rec list and spread some love!

Writers: feel free to share your favorite fics you’ve written - there’s no shame in the self-rec, because you should be proud of what you’ve created!

We can’t wait to see your contributions - just make sure to tag all your posts with #SFLF2018 if you want us to see and reblog it!

For a reminder of this event’s rules and general info, click HERE.

[canonicallyanxious]

SKAM Fic Love Fest | Comments [p1]

My first contribution to SFLF 2018 that we’re hosting over on @evaksbinder [check out the sidebar for more info if you’re interested!]. Today is all about comments, so I’m going to use it as an excuse to rec the last few fics i fell in love with!! Won’t be copying/pasting the comments i left, but i promise i left them lol.

Fated roses - iriswests / @juilawicker (5k words; Noora/Eva)

This is a short and VERY sweet fic in which Eva is a princess and magic exists. I absolutely adore the characterization in this fic, how even though it’s a completely different world from our own the characters feel very much like themselves! I just love how well-constructed the atmosphere is, it’s so magical and romantic and just really lovely. Highly recommend if you need a femslash pick-me-up!

In retrospect, better - @vesperthine (1k words; Even/Isak)

This writing is absolutely GORGEOUS in this fic, I love how vivid and well-imagined the descriptions are and even though it’s quite short it’s really easy to fall into the world of this fic and the life Even and Isak have created for each other. Great for some amazing post-canon feels!

Masters of their own domain - @evakuality (11k words; Even/Isak)

This is such a wonderfully imagined exploration of Even and Isak’s relationship in a really formative part of it! I love that it takes a fairly cracky concept - Even adoring Isak’s competence - and turns it into this warm and loving look into their relationship. All the details and emotions in this fic feel so realistic for a time in their lives where’ theyre trying to make a new home - just incredibly sweet and feel-good!

I ain’t no hercules - grinsekaetzchen / @hotchocolatenthusiast (12k words; Even/Isak)

I technically didn’t comment on this fic today but i needed to include this fic on the list because its just brilliant!!!! There are no words i could say that would do it justice, so all i can say is, read the Even POV that comes before, and then read this, and then cry forever. You can thank me later.

[celebsrumorblog]

Agricultural economics: How doubling of farmers’ income is possible even with small landholdings

Agricultural economics: How doubling of farmers’ income is possible even with small landholdings

[ad_1]

Published: November 1, 2018 1:09:39 am

The Small Farmers, Large Field (SFLF) model is founded on the same principles of aggregation and achieving economics of scale, through strengthening backward and forward integration along the supply chain and lowering costs by synchronising key agricultural…

[vesperthine]

day 1 - comments, part i of iii

there’s no better feeling than seeing that you’ve got a new comment in your inbox. no matter the length, it never fails to put a grateful, humble smile on my face. i’m so grateful for and impressed by all you readers who tirelessly comment and encourage us writers; making sure that we feel our work is appreciated and important enough that we’ll keep writing. 

a special shoutout to @arindwell @juliandem @aimitis, @tuuleloe​ @modestytreehouse and hopetoseeyouagain @ ao3  for almost always leaving heartfelt and honest comments on my fics, no matter what. then, all the love to @tristealven and @irazor for the beta work they’ve done for me, and still always leaving comments on the finished work (something i sometimes forget to do...). thank you, darlings ♡♡

these are just a few of the comments that have really stayed with me, but to each and every one who’s left a comment or a kudos on any of my fics: you're so appreciated, and i can’t thank you enough. as a writer i know it takes effort to comment, so i treasure every one i get ♡

fic: take you to where the sun shines [...]

@uannsett: [...] a really unique writing style here, one that fits even perfectly. i love how you use it, and i love the atmosphere it creates, and i love it when something reminds you of all the things you can do with words

@junkshop-disco: You've really captured the tension in the aftermath of violence, that it's not as easy as tending to someone's physical wounds, it's a whole emotional roller coaster for both of you.

fic: will it wash out in the water (or is it always in the blood) / och det sprider sig som blod i vatten

@friedaechte: [...] dette IKKE er mørkt. Tvert imot, egentlig, det er jo en positiv fremtidsvisjon av Isak og Even, i all sin realisme. [...] Jeg liker veldig godt at Isak får tre frem som sin egen person, med sine egne problemer og sine egne vanskelige tanker.

@ Peer: Denne skulle jeg så veldig ønske du får lyst til å skrive videre på. Din skriving inspirerer meg.

@eiqhties: In fact I found this fic beautifully poignant, and very true to real life. Honestly, your characterisation of both Even and Isak was so wonderful here! It really felt as though they were real, and breathing, and you were picking the thoughts right from their heads.

@whatexactlyismylife: It’s such an intricate and quite complicated topic imo but you deliver it so well and I can find great comfort in knowing that people share my sentiment about children like you do.

@vanqoh  - i'm not the biggest fan of angst, but i love it when it's used effectively = this is a great example of effective angst writing because it felt balanced, and my heart was aching

fic: som i ett isolerat system / in an isolated system 

@ hopetoseeyouagain: Jeg synes alltid din måte å framstille Isak og Even på, hvordan de er med hverandre (bare nydelige) men også det de strever med oppe i hodene sine, er svært troverdig. Og parentesene dine gir en helt egen stemning - hold fast ved dem!

@tristealven​: Å, så fint sagt! Älskar allt du skriver, vet bara inte hur jag ska uttrycka mig själv när min hjärna är en röra av svenska och norska (och finska och engelska). Men <3

@champagneleftie​: Jag blir helt golvad av det du skriver, varje gång. [...] Du klarar det där konststycket att få det väldigt specifika och personliga till att bli universellt, vilket är en av mina favoritaspekter av Skam överhuvudtaget - det här är så mycket Isaks berättelse, så specifik för honom och det läge han är i och hans förhållande, och samtidigt så är det världens igenkänning. 

@skamskada:  Slengkommentarer i garderoben som man kan forvente men som vi ikke ser i canon og Isak som strever så mye med det her at det ikke går, så vakkert bygd opp med parantesene og alt, hele strukturen og hele reisen Isak gjør i tankene sine. Jeg har fått ny favorittfic. Uansett fandom. (i will never be over this comment, immy ♡)

@juliandem: I really, really loved how you wrote Eskild here. It’s perfection.

@ inflammatorywit21:  You really created a space between two people that feels so private and intimate that I almost feel like I’m intruding just by reading this.

@tuuleloe​: You conveyed stunningly how difficult (also how easy and natural other times) is mental and physical intimacy. Unable to forget insecurities, inner reflections, outside world, how easy to feel shame. With your lover, loved one, friend. And how rewarding it is for Isak to understand his desires, himself and being able to yearn, want, share and talk about it. With Even.

[vesperthine]

day 5 - reader’s quotes

missed yesterday’s quote-focused day due to home renovations. but since i feel like i don’t show enough appreciation as a reader, here are three four quotes that have really stuck with me, for different reasons.

one of my favourite passages of all time, is from @uannsett‘s fic, Have you any dreams you’d like to sell. not only is it a poetic and bittersweet fic about even and sonja’s relationship from beginning to end, but it’s also honest. it doesn’t paint any of them as anything but what they are: human.

Pulling her hand away from his she fumbles a bit with the bracelet to get it off and, then, lets it pool together in the palm of her hand, silver and heavy with things that aren't weight, before she hands it over, but then there's him: shaking his head.

"No," he says. "It's yours." And then: "Although it's not like you'll need anything to remember me by."

She chuckles.

She shouldn't, because he says it with guilt in his expression, and in the downturn of the corner of his mouth, and because it's not funny, but at the same time it also kind of is. So she does. But she does it with tears in her throat.

"No," she says, voice thick with it. "I suppose not."

When one of the tears leak out of her eyes, then, crossing over the bridge of her nose on its way to the pillow, he reaches out, thumb first, and wipes it off. It only makes more of them fall, and he wipes those off, too, something gentle on his face that she hasn't seen directed at her for so long, and for a moment, then, she's overcome both with the relief of the letting go and with that old, residue affection for him.

It's funny, she thinks, how endings remind you of why you began, and it's funny, too, that this feels like the most intimate thing they've done in years. It's funny that they were doing badly long before they ended it, but that she misses him, now. Misses him even though he's right there. So:

"Although it wasn't all bad," she says. "Some of it was actually quite wonderful."

one of the most powerful reading experiences i had last year, was following along with @champagneleftie’s Legitimate Expectations. there are many passages that just digs their claws into you, and stays there. but the one that i can’t seem to let go off, is a line from the end of the fic, because it summarises isak’s whole existence in that fic. and it’s an important one, because it’s an important thing to remember as a living person, too:

Isak never realised that he should have wanted to make an effort. 

there’s a reason @rosesonmyshelf‘s to the bone is a cult-classic at this point. this quote wasn’t just an eye-opener for me about how and why isak and even might stay together after all, but it’s also been a big reference point for me re: isak. 

Isak, though – something about Isak’s uncertainty was comforting, weightless in a way. When Isak said It will be okay, Even also felt the unspoken other half: maybe we can make it okay. I hope we can make it okay.

He thinks of the giveness of Isak’s care, its elasticity and clemency – which was what Even loved, really loved, but was also just so, so afraid of. Terrified that he could – and would – test that part of their intimacy again and again and again until, finally, it broke.

last is what i like to call the ‘cat quote’ from @tristealven‘s All the climbing, all the falling. it’s like a paper cut. no matter how happy, goofy or cheerful i am feeling that day, this quote gets to me. it’s just the amount of emotion, the care, the worry, the love, the hurt, the fear of abandonment and neglect and loneliness packed into these barely 200 words that gets to something inside me.

The man lives alone for the first time in sixty years. He cooks food, feeds his cat, visits the wife at the hospital, but that part isn’t even shown in the film, only the part where he leaves the island. He speaks on the phone with his daughter and goes to bed, alone. Everything in his home looks like it was chosen by his wife.  

Nothing really happens, it’s just a man doing everyday things, and yet Isak can feel his throat constricting, his eyes brimming with tears. When the cat jumps on the bed in the movie, curls next to the man, he can actually feel a tear running down his cheek and tries to wipe it very discreetly.  

Maybe his mamma would like a cat? An indoor cat, so that it won’t go missing.

He can’t decide whether it would be a good or a bad thing. What would happen to the cat if mamma got worse?    

[vesperthine]

day 2 - inspiration

this post isn’t so much about what inspires me when it comes to fanfiction. i don’t make playlists, because i put one song on repeat and proceed to write the entire fic to that song. (the icelandic fic was written to leyndarmál by ásgeir trausti)

so this turned into something that’s more of a list of things that inspires me overall; what pieces of media i fall back upon when i’m not feeling my best, when i need reassurance and something that will give me that kick needed to start creating.

authors: sylvia plath

i always end up going back to sylvia plath. especially her journals from her early twenties. not only does she see the world with the sort of attention to detail i can only aspire to have, but she’s very comforting and makes you feel understood. yes, she does romanticize death and self-injury a lot, but when she wants to, she’s one of the most life-affirming authors there is. 

book: speak - laurie halse anderson

a masterpiece; one of the best trauma novels there is. funny, honest, lyrical, sparse, true. 

music: los campesinos!

i know, the name is misleading; this is not a mariachi band. it’s an alt. indie band from wales that i discovered  when i was commuting for five hours a day, seriously burnt out, and had given up on all creative things, including writing. so. they mean a lot to me, despite the obsession with sex and death.

my first two fics actually bear titles from their song for flotsam, and i’ve had to hold myself back to not do that too often. because the lyrics to all of their songs are a goldmine. gareth david, the singer, is a wonderful wordsmith, acutely self-aware without losing his audience: funny, lyrical, and brutally honest, sparing no one, least of all himself. however, the music is a bit of an acquired taste, but there’s a point to all the noisy, noisy riffs. and if you can find it -- well, then los campesinos! will hopefully make you feel like your melancholic and self-pitying self has a place in this world, too. 

so, three samples, early lc! (2010), late lc! (2017), and lc! at their best, according to me 

[vesperthine]

day 1 - comments, part ii of iii

continuation of the post for skam fic love fest 2018! i’m so grateful for all the comments i’ve gotten since i started writing, but these are justa few that i carry with me ♡

fic: det kommer regna på fredag, den tjugoandra december / it’s going to rain on friday, the twenty second of december

@Svermeren: Det føles nesten ut som man beveger seg innover, enten det er i følelsene til Isak, eller i små detaljer. [...] Også synes jeg du fikk godt til den litt haltende måten Isak kommuniserer på, der han bruker flere forsøk på å få frem det han egentlig vil.

@Soapbark:  Finns flera meningar som jag kan relatera till i min relation till min pappa. Kanske inte just runt jul, men i många andra situationer. 

@topazera: I felt all tensed up myself because the weird tension of not knowing how to right things was so real. Especially Even not looking at him, augh, that just killed me. 

fic: samma amplitud och period / the same amplitude and period

@himmelskys:  Det er så fint. Også er det noe med hvordan du bruker sexen mellom dem som middel for Isak til å finne ut av hvordan bli tryggere på egen seksualitet. At han skal tørre å slippe løs for å bli trygg.

@arindwell: You write about sex and sexuality and the emotions surrounding them in such a stripped-down, raw, and realistic way that it’s almost a visceral reading experience. (this is one of those comments that spelled out to me what i want to achieve ♡)

fic: pusselbitar / pieces of a puzzle

@nofeartina:  [...] en fantastisk måde at skrive de her to på, du fanger bare essensen af dem, og jeg kan ikke forestille mig at jeg nogensinde bliver træt af at læse noget du skriver. 

@irazor:  Stillheten och lugnet som plötsligt blir så hetsigt och sedan mynnar ut i stillhet igen. Det är verkligen som att vi får vara med dem i ögonblicket - nästan som att inkräkta på en helt privat stund.

@whenispeakicrossmyfingers: The broken intimacy with which you write them is completely unmatched. [...] how you manage to show the problems with such emotional clarity (while still keeping the problems vague enough to be left to the imagination) but also include that tiny flicker of hope, in every single one of your stories.

@ Anne: such a beautiful yet realistic depiction of a loving, long-term marriage. their life might not be perfect but i love how they still get moments like this to remind them that they've got everything they need and how perfectly imperfect their life is.

fic: ventiler / vents

@Peer: Det er så sterkt, vesperthine. Og det er forholdet mellom Isak og Even også, i det grelle lyset på badet, både når de tar seg av Alma og når de er der bare de to og gjør rent, rydder og snakker ærlig, håndleddene til Even, uten arr. 

@tuuleloe : I reread your future series, so moving and remarkably in-depth, brave, intensive, honest. Your writings give such an important perspectives and reassurance.

[vesperthine]

day 2 - inspiration, extramaterial till “i dimma är det svårt att se klart”

en scen helt inspirerad av en egen ritt jag gjorde i somras, under en kväljande varm julikväll. ibland har man bara ögonblick där man är helt medveten om allt som sker omkring en -- varje doft, ljud och känsla -- och det finns nog knappt en större inspirationskälla än det ♡ 

(unfortunately, swedish only)

Solen står lågt på himlen och får skuggorna att gå in i varandra. Damm och knott avtecknar sig som svarta prickar i motljuset.  Det enda som hörs är hästarnas hovar mot den mjuka stigen, deras egna andetag och inandet från en och annan broms.

Annars ligger tystnaden som ett behagligt lock för öronen. Och det är fruktansvärt varmt.

Barbackaritter är praktiska och ger värme på vintern, men på sommaren är det mer för hästarnas skull. Sadel gör att både ryttare och häst svettas mer än nödvändigt, och dessutom är betydligt lättare att bada med bara träns.

Men det hindrar inte svetten under hjälmen från att rinna ner som rännilar i nacken, innanför tröjan, för att ansamlas i knävecken innan den droppar ner i ridkängorna.

Isak håller på att gå under.

Närmaste sjö ligger egentligen inte så långt från stallet. Men för att komma till badstället farmor hittade för alla herrans år sedan, tar det säkert fyrtio minuter enkel väg. Och då har de ändå töltat och galopperat så mycket de vågat. Auður flämtar fortfarande lite för högt, så det är skritt från och med nu.

Bakom sig kan han höra hur Even visslar lite för sig själv, säkert för att distrahera sig från värmen. Isak kan inte vissla, så han försöker att inte tänka på raden av myggbett han fått i ländryggen av alla ställen. 

Det är lättare sagt än gjort.

Precis när solen börjar bli outhärdlig får han syn på den lilla markeringen vid sidan av vägen, och de kan äntligen svänga in i skogen. Skuggan omsluter de, temperaturen sjunker nästan märkbart och genast blir det lättare att andas. 

Och att se.

Han gör halt. Under honom tar Glóð  chansen att bita på bromsbettet hon har fått bakom ena frambenet -- precis vid hans skänkel -- och han hinner precis lyfta undan benet. Ridbyxor var inte ens att tänka på i den här hettan, men om Glóð skulle hugga honom av misstag, skulle hon bita genom skinn .

Bakom sig hör han hur Auður släpper ut en belåten suck. “Vad är det?” säger Even några sekunder senare.

“Blåbär.”

“Oj! Redan?”

Branten, vars andra sida de just galopperat uppför, är täckt av ett tjockt lager blåbärsris. Skuggan och den försiktiga morgonsolen har fått blåbären att mogna, trots att det bara är i mitten av juli. Och det är något med hur han, precis som han alltid gjort, bara kan kila fast foten mellan Glóðs framben, luta sig ut och ta en handfull. 

Nostalgi, men mot en botten av realism. Eller något annat pretentiöst.

Blåbären, tidiga som de är, är små och sura som fan. Inte alls som han minns dem. Men när Isak slänger en blick över axeln, tittar bara Even på honom med ett lilafärgat flin.

Det är inte första gången Even har följt med honom upp hit. De är inne på sjätte eller sjunde, han har helt tappat räkningen, men det är nog många gånger till att hästarna känner igen honom. Visserligen tar det bara en timme med bil, men det känns ändå som en försäkran; det faktum att det ens blev en andra och en tredje gång. 

Att de inte bara fortsatte på något här hemma som uppstått på grund av ensamhet och geografisk isolering.

Utan att de där månaderna på Island faktiskt varit världsomvälvande på mer än ett sätt.

Så småningom blir det glesare mellan träden, och de kommer ut till den lilla tjärnen. Trots sitt läge är vattnet klart och kallt tack vare smältvatten uppifrån fjällen.

Ytan är helt blank; man kan nästan se dammet ovanpå.

Vid vattenbrynet är marken urgröpt i sidled, och nedanför de blottlagda tallrötterna finns början av en stenig strand. De lilla stupet är för mycket för Glóð och hennes tendens att snubbla, så Isak sitter av och låter det gamla stoet hitta fotfästet innan han hoppar efter.

Här vid vattnet står luften nästan helt stilla, och han kan inte får av sig käderna fort nog. Fötterna är helt svampiga efter att ha varit instängda i det täta materialet i flera timmar, och han håller faktiskt andan när strumporna går samma öde till mötes. 

Men allt -- den långa, varma ritten och alla satans myggbett --  är värt det för att se Even ta av sig ridhjälmen och visa upp en riktig hjälmfrissa, och sedan följa upp det med att dra av sig den vita t-shirten som har klistrat sig mot hans rygg av svett. 

Kvällssolen gör det lätt att urskilja varenda liten skiftning av muskler under hud när han till slut slänger upp t-shirten på den upphöjda marken.

Och det är inte okej hur lättpåverkad Isak fortfarande är. Spelar ingen roll vad de gjort och ännu inte hunnit med än; han borde inte bli såhär av att se Even ta av sig en t-shirt.  Jävla värmebölja. Och badshorts döljer precis ingenting. Det är ren tur att Glóðs kropp skymmer sikten, annars hade Even aldrig låtit honom glömma det.

Han pillar lite med stoets man i ett försök att få blodet att återgå till huvudet, medan Even drar av sig ridskorna; kastar upp dem på marken ovanför innan han gör en grimas. “Usch, vad stenigt det är här.”

“Du har en häst.” Isak börjar meningen, men kan inte låta bli att skratta till när han ser hur Auður har gått iväg några meter för att dricka från vattenbrynet. “Det är bara att hoppa upp igen!”

Even drar ihop ögonbrynen och tittar på Isak med ett uttryck som tigger medlidande. Isak bara himlar med ögonen och med ett fast grepp om Glóðs man, hivar hans sig upp igen. Han leder henne ut till knäna i vattnet, innan han rider upp till Auður och ger honom en liten knuff.

Valacken tittar upp, så Isak petar till honom på bogen med foten igen, tills hästen lyder och backar två steg så att Even kan få tag på tyglarna igen. Sedan sitter Even upp igen, och Isak kan inte låta bli att stirra lite; alltid imponerad över hur smidigt och lätt det alltid ser ut. 

Som om Even aldrig gjort något annat i sitt liv. 

Väl uppe ger Even honom ett tacksamt flin. “Schysst,” säger han, och låter  Auður vada ut till knäna i det klara vattnet.

Isak låter Glóð följa efter, och han ryser lite när hans egna vader bryter vattenytan; kylan är välkommen men plötslig. “Varsågod. Men så vasst är det inte.”

Det plumsar ordentligt när både häst och Even plötsligt försvinner nästan helt under ytan; Auður håller huvudet ovanför, men Even dyker under helt för att sedan komma upp igen, blöt i håret och med ögonen som springor. Vattendropparna gnistrar till i motljuset när de sedan vänder upp och kommer tillbaka in mot stranden; Auður får benen under sig när det blir grunt nog, innan de kommer bort

Evens blöta knä slår i Isaks eget. “Ändå hjälper du mig. Som alltid.”

“Det är väl för att jag är så snäll, då.”

En blöt och svalkande hand lägger sig mot hans kind. En tumme stryker lätt över hans underläpp. “Du är det.”

Och när Even kysser honom med sin våta, mjuka mun, kan inte Isak komma på att han någonsin känt sig mer tillfreds.

[newyearsirresolution]

Skam Fic Love Fest, Attempt #7

Fandom-ly speaking, I'm really late to the party. I think I've missed lots of drama and stuff, and I came here to find a group of people who peacefully interact with each other, support each other and create really impressive content, and it's lovely and heartwarming to watch from the sides. I don't know if it's due to the fact that I randomly chose to follow the right blogs, but I don't think I would have been brave enough to put myself out there in this fest if I didn't feel surrounded by welcoming, gentle, intelligent people.

There's lots of really cool Skam blogs and I don't think I could list them all, so I'll just mention those I specifically look for in my dash to know what they're up to:

@skamskada because this blog is never boring

@towonderland72 because I sent an ask about special collections for a writing meme and in answer I received a new chapter, I'm still not over it

@tristealven the blog I turn to when I'm in need of beauty, in any form

@greathalesonfire because I light up whenever I see a drabble posted and because I have to restrain myself from reblogging everything with the tag "bitch me too"

@bizexualrosadiaz this person is responsible for the edit I've been laughing about for like two weeks and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon

@nofeartina because even the tags are entertaining

Hopefully in the future I'll be able to support my favourite writers without needing a fest to blend in with the others. Meanwhile, thanks @evaksbinder for this opportunity.

[vesperthine]

day 1 - comments, part iii of iii

as said in the first part of this trilogy of comment appreciation, i do treasure each and every comment i get. even if it’s just a sentence, it can make my day. and when i’m feeling low -- as a writer or as a person --  and i’m doubting that i’ll ever write something good again, i go back and i re-read them all; seeing all the love that people has sent to me, how moved they’ve been by my words, and it helps. 

that’s a truly powerful thing. 

so never think that your comment doesn’t matter. i can only speak for myself, of course, but i know there are hundreds of writers out there who share this sentiment. comments really makes writing easier, smoother and so much more joyful. thank you, readers, for everything. you keep fandom alive and thriving ♡

fic: i dimma är det svårt att se klart / and this mist, it makes it hard to see

@champagneleftie: .Jag kommer inte ihåg senaste gången jag blev såhär tagen av en fic, V.

@sjiiraff:  [...] kjente nesten været på kroppen mens jeg leste. Følelsen av myk hestemule på skulderen, stormene og kulde, kulde, kulde... og heldigvis varme også, mot slutten.

@nofeartina:  Din kærlighed skinner sådan igennem her; din kærlighed til Isak og Even, til islandske heste og til Island, og du er så varsom med dem. Som altid elsker jeg det du skriver, men det her er, for mig, noget af det fineste du har skrevet.

@skamskada:  Så nydelig subtil og tight den er, du holder leseren i helspenn hele veien, på en god måte. Hvert ord er helt presist og nødvendig, ingenting er overflødig. Skriv original fiction, vær så snill.

@lavenderforluck: The slow-burn and steady pacing is really tricky and amazing here, as it builds and swells, ebbs and flows, and as the reader I feel totally caught alongside Even in this wrestle with hope something will happen.

@fille-lioncelle:  [...] took time and both of them needed to do things that were hard, but in the end there wasn't any drama or grand anythings. Just talking and dealing with things.

fic: ett laddningsbart batteri

@himmelskys:  Jeg rives og slites innvendig av å lese dette. Det er noe med det mørke, det tabu, det uttalte som Isak går og bærer på som gjør meg spent som en streng går gjennom hele ficen. Og han føler det så sterkt, kjemper med følelsene sin hele veien. Det må ha kostet mye bare å foreslå det, å åpne opp den døren ovenfor Even. [...] Å, dette er så komplekst! Jeg kommer til å tenke på dette i dagevis nå...    

@modestytreehouse:  Det är så tätt och intensivt och även om allt är okej, överenskommet, ganska genompratat, de älskar varandra osv - så ligger det liksom en svärta över det hela, en liten ångest liksom som gör det ännu mer laddat, för att använda dina ord

fic: waxing, waning

@juliandem:  You always write them like they deserves to be written, if you know what I mean?

@S (solrose):  You always manage to write even the smallest things in a beautiful, poetic way!

fic: in retrospect, better

@nofeartina :  You have such a way with words. This is so soft and loving, and it's just like being there and watching them all over again.

@juliandem:  i don't miss skam much because of writers like you <3

[newyearsirresolution]

Skam Fic Love Fest, Attempt #2

Apparently I'm really committed to this, so here's my contribution for day 2

It's just a lil doodle inspired by Make a spark, break the dark, find a light with me by @call-this-a-mask, one of my favourite feel-good fics.

This is supposed to be one of the drawings Even makes on Isak's receipts. It's not perfect, but the first I made of Isak under the umbrella was worse, so props to me for honing my drawing skills in the span of half an hour.