I want a Leverage/Stargate crossover in which Parker, Hardison, Eliot, and Sophie all know about Stargate and all think they are the only ones who know.
Eliot is easy. He worked for them. He's been off world and has seen aliens up close. He doesn't want that danger anywhere near his team and, if they knew aliens were real, they would seek them out.
Parker, pre-Leverage, was once going to steal from a goa'uld. She's hidden away and safe, but sees the goa'uld change hosts or similar. It is one of the few times she walked away without her score. She still stole something, just not what she had gone for. She also neatly accepted that mind controlling snake monsters are real and that made her much more accepting of the impossible and, weirdly, less afraid in general. Nothing beats a mind controlling snake monster.
Hardison hacked his way into the mountain base while setting up in Portland. He didn't go in deep; he was just looking for something cute and Santa related for Parker. Instead, he found a mission report some idiot had sent in via email. The report had video. Brutal video. He watched. Three times. And then bought himself a new computer solely to hack deeper and figure out if what he saw was real or fake. It was real. He was thrilled--space ships and aliens were real! He was terrified--space ships and aliens were real and not very friendly. He wanted no part of that.
Sophie conned her way into a dinner with military officials. It wasn't even for a job. She was just bored and wanted to test out her skills. (Part of her also wanted to get caught. Part of her post-Nate was a bit self-destructive). She found a man fuming and lent a listening ear. With a bit of alcohol and a lot of pretending to know more than he did, she learned about the Stargate program. She locked that knowledge up deep, ready to wield it if ever needed.
And then, one day in New Orleans, SGC comes knocking for Eliot. It is one of the times that Hardison is home with them. Eliot is cooking and Hardison and Parker are teasing him in the kitchen. Harry is out. Breanna is working to undo a virus Hardison created for her as a challenge.
Then, say, Cameron Mitchell walks in. Eliot glances over from where he's cooking at the stove and says, "No. Turn around. Walk away."
Hardison has gone still. He remembers Cameron's face from the reports he read and watched. "How do you know Eliot?" he asks.
"We used to work together."
Hardison turns to Eliot, eyes wide. "Eliot?"
"Better question," Eliot says, turning off the heat. "How do you know Mitchell here?"
"Someone has to keep an eye on what the government is doing," Hardison vamps, part of him still hoping to end this conversation without Parker learning about the spaceships and aliens.
By this time, Parker has hopped off the counter and walked up to Cameron to get a better read on him. She also nicks his wallet and firearm. "Catch," she calls to Eliot as she tosses the firearm to him.
"Parker!" Eliot chastises as he snatches the gun. "Don't throw firearms."
She shrugs. "I knew you'd catch it."
This is the first time Cameron has looked wrongfooted this entire time. "What?"
"Cameron Mitchell," Parker reads from his ID. "Airforce."
Cameron swipes it back from her. Parker lets him. As she turns, she catches Breanna's eye and gestures to her ear.
Breanna pulls out of the code she was working on and starts looking for any foreign frequencies to find out who is talking to Mitchell.
Sophie, who has been watching quietly this entire time and noting Cameron's military standing, takes into account his actual division and the ways Eliot and Hardison are acting and clearly talking around something. She decides to make a gamble.
"Does this have anything to do with the Stargate program?"
Eliot, Hardison, and Cameron all freeze and look at her.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," Cameron says, "But how do you know about the Stargate program."
Sophie offers him a beatific smile. "People do talk--" she pauses and gives him a searching look "--commander is it? Interesting that the commander himself came to talk." She turns to Eliot. "This might be important."
Cameron spins to Eliot. "Did you tell her?"
Eliot crosses his arms. "I've not said anything."
Parker raises her hand. "What's the Stargate Program?
Hardison is the first to speak up. "It is a secret program that deals with threats from space."
"Like aliens?" Breanna asks, continuing to hack into Cameron's comms. She's surprised by the layers of protection.
"Okay," Breanna mutters. "Cool. So aliens are real."
Parker raises her hand again.
"You don't need to raise your hand, Parker," Eliot mutters into his hand.
"Are any of these aliens mind controlling snake monsters who like Egyptian antiquities?"
Now every eye is on her.
"Yes," Cameron says, stretching the word out. "How?"
Parker just hops back up onto the counter. "I stole from one."
"Did she just say she stole from one?" A woman's voice plays from Breanna's corner.
"So I've hacked their comms," Breanna says.
Cameron nearly growls in frustration. This was not how this was supposed to go.
"Why don't you invite the rest of your team in?" Sophie says. "Eliot, will we have enough food?"
Eliot rolls his eyes and turns back to the stove. He turns the heat back on and gives his dish a stir. "I was making enough for leftovers. We'll be fine."
"Who are you people?" Cameron asks. "I mean, I've read your files, but--"
"Oh, how did you like those?" Hardison asks. "Beauties, aren't they?"
"You forged your records?" Cameron asks, his tone flat.
Sophie touches his elbow and guides him to a seat. "When you've taken over a small country, darling, paperwork is child's play."
Cameron looks at her, sees she isn't lying, and laughs. "Okay. Fine." He calls his team in. They'll have dinner. And then they'll discuss saving the world.
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