#shal!!!

[badasserywomen]

Shal and skadi

[keiriiz]

Shalnark’s Actor just being Shalnark 👾📱

He’s great, I love my little manipulator being bullied for being a creep. I should post my Shalnark headcanons soon like how I did my Chrollo ones. I love the entire Troupe but Shalnark is my favorite leg.

Also wanted to note, this same actor also played Wing in the performance!

[intotheelliwoods]

Haha, this takes place maybe a few days after the movie! :)

Masterpost

Bonus:

[thunderstruck9]

Shaun Daniel Allen (Shal) (Australian Aboriginal, 1986), Our Colours, 2023. Acrylic on canvas, 150 x 100 cm.

[shalpilot]

you’ll have to fight back eventually.

[shallowseeker]

Truth & despair *COMPLETE*

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable."

Synopsis:

With Cas gone, Jack vanished, and Dean in turmoil, Sam turns to therapy to cope. His search for answers leads him to the bunker’s surveillance footage, where he uncovers startling evidence that casts doubt on Dean’s account of Cas’s death... and Dean's sanity. Determined to restore a semblance of normalcy, Sam gets them back on the road. But their case takes a terrifying turn when Chuck appears with a chilling revelation: the universe is targeting them in a deadly Final Destination-style game of fate. As Sam grapples with his own fears and a world seemingly set against them, he clings to the hope that reuniting his fractured family will be the key to overcoming their darkest challenges. Maybe once they’re all back together, they won’t need therapy at all.

---

Focus: Supernatural post-15x19 fic, TFW grieving badly, Bad therapy attempts with Mia Vallens, False memories, The Shadow is in love with Cas, Jack and Amara are AWOL

Characters: Dean/Castiel, Dean & Sam, Sam & Dean & Cas & Jack, Eileen Leahy, Mia Vallens, Chuck Shurley, Becky & the Rosen-Baron fam, Donatello Redfield, The Empty, Amara, Jack as God, Rowena MacLeod, Sam POV and Sam is blessedly annoying

Content warning: Major character death (Castiel), poor coping mechanisms (Dean), and encroachment of personal boundaries (Sam). Eventual happy ending.

Updates every weekend!

Proofread by @minalblood & finished for @tenderthunder

❤️

///

Ch 01: (~4200 words, ~17 minutes) - In an attempt to tackle his grief, Sam rifles through the bunker footage to track down Cas’s last moments. The footage leaves him with more questions than answers.

//

Ch 02: (~5700 words, ~23 minutes) Mia admonishes Sam for his breach of boundaries, and Dean suffers his first meltdown.

//

Ch 03: (~5200 words, ~20 minutes) Sam leans into unhealthy coping mechanisms that nearly get them killed.

//

Ch 04: (~4700 words, ~18 minutes) Snapped out of Chuck’s grand finale, Sam and Dean wonder what’s next.

//

Ch 05: (~5250 words, ~21 minutes) In need of Becky Rosen’s laptop, Chuck and the Winchesters track her to a safe house in the recesses of the Wallowa Mountains, Oregon. En route, the roadways are riddled with mysterious sinkholes. Dean admits he’s drawn to them.

//

Ch 06: (~7500 words, ~30 minutes) - Chuck shows his true colors, but Dean’s the real problem.

//

Ch 07: (~7200 words, ~28 minutes) - Dean takes a leap of faith. Sam follows.

//

Ch 08: (~7100 words, ~28 minutes) - Sam and Dean tunnel their way into The Empty. It's not empty.

//

Ch 09 (~ 6200 words, ~25 minutes) - Unable to rid Castiel of the cooling Empty gunk, Sam and Dean transport him back to the Barons’ house and attempt to free him.

//

Ch 10 (~ 6200 words, ~25 minutes) - Hoping to track Jack and Amara, Team Free Will returns to Washaway Beach to perform a potent locator spell.

///

Ch 11 (~8000 words, ~32 minutes) - Sam and Chuck crash-land in a lush landscape and run afoul of Amara. She taunts Sam, promising that Jack will never return, at least not of his own free will.

//

Ch 12 (~10800 words, ~43 minutes) - Jack's got everything he needs right here. Why would he ever leave?

//

Ch 13 (~8000 words, ~32 minutes) - Sam awakens in the shallow waters of Washaway Beach...alongside the prone body of Jack Kline.

//

Ch 14 (~10200 words, ~40 minutes) - Maybe Sam can't fix everything. Maybe that's okay.

//

Ch 15/ Epilogue (~17000 words, ~68 minutes) - Then, Dean welcomed Cas back from The Empty. Now, they deal with the fallout.

[i-write-things]

Pen, I know New Years already went by but, how did your favorite Troupe members spent their new year days? (hcs)

Ugh, dw, I'm even later to answering this request. But I shall answer, anyway.

(None of these will be yandere)

Chrollo-

So it all depends on who he is spending it with. If he's with the troupe, he'll likely plan like a small scale heist, then go back somewhere (probably the hideout) and throw a small party. However, with Uvogin and Phinks there, it ends up much larger than he intended. Not that he cares. He sees his troupe, his people, happy. If his darling is part of the Phantom Troupe, while everyone is distracting counting down the new year, he'll sneak in a quick, new year's kiss-one of the few, rare times he'll do PDA in front of his family.

If he's by himself or just with his darling, he'll probably just spend it inside and relax. He'd read majority of the day away, unless darling has something planned. He would cook for you, u less you wanted to cook for him. He wouldn't want to eat out somewhere, because he wants it to be a quiet moment. So expect just a simple night, talking and relaxing the night away until the countdown, where he kisses you more passionately than he would have in front of the troupe.

"If fate will allow it, lets try to spend the rest of this year together, too."

Machi-

Machi, like Chrollo, is definitely more reserved. She'd prefer to stay indoors, but go on a walk at night. She'd also like to watch the countdown as well, but don't expect a kiss from her unless you've been together for some time. You'll have to be the one to initiate that.

If she's partying with the troupe, it's one of the more rare times you can see her true feelings. No pressure to do well in a hiest, none of her family is in danger, ect. She can just enjoy the moment. First thing, she'd probably ask Chrollo if he already has any plans for the new year. "So, what are you planning to do for a great new year, boss?" *She'd ever so slightly smile.

Feitan-

By far, the least of a party person here, unless it involves kidnapping or torturing. So it's not too surprising when he enjoys himself at a troupe party. He can hang out with his murder bro (Phinks) and probably play a prank or two with Shal on said murder bro. He gets into a shots battle with either Uvo or Phinks (maybe even both) to see who doesn't pass out from so many shots....or get alcohol poisoning.

If he's by himself, he does literally nothing. He doesn't see it as too different of a day. Although, of course, he does like the 'new year, new me' thing. and by that, I mean he'll try out different methods of torture. If his darling is there with them, he might slightly bring up spending time with them, but only if they're aware of his...career.

"...Hey, You....like...come torture....with me?" *Of course, that's his broken way of inviting you to torture some poor souls with him.

Shalnark-

Finally! Someone who loves to party! If he's spending time with the troupe, you can bet he's one of the main people who keep it awesome. He'll bring most of the party games. And of course, play most of the new years pranks (on anyone but Chrollo and Machi. He doesn't want to bug Machi, knowing how cold she is, and while the boss wouldn't mind, there's no way he'd be able to catch him off gaurd.) He, Paku, Shizuku, and Machi usually set up the decorations if they're feeling extra festive. Oh, and expect a bunch of selfies and pictures from the party if you're not there.

If he isn't at a troupe party, then he's probably party hopping around. He'd bring his darling with him, too. He'd get into the most bizarre and fun parties. If there is a bouncer who won't let him in, he can just stick him with an antenna. Though, he probably won't have to, considering he was preparing for this and has already hacked into most party systems to add his name, and brings you as his plus one. Expect a very sweet kiss from this boy at the countdown. You two only go home once one of you is hammered. If it's you, he laughs and comments on how much fun you had. "Haha! Looks like someone had fun!" If it's him, he'll have his arm wrapped around you and drunkenly slur, "Y'know baby, this was a great bew year...ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick.."

Uvogin-

Alcohol. Is it much of a surprise? I think not. Shalnark brings most of the games, and Uvo brings the alcohol. I'm talking beer, wine, ale, mead, whiskey, just about anything and everyone's favorite, including their favorite brand. And when I say the life of the party, I mean the life of the party. You think Shal and Fei's pranks bring the chaos? That ain't nothin' compared to our very own Uvogin's capabilities. On top of being very chaotic, he's also very loud. Probably the main reason why, if they choose to put on music, it has to be turned up so loud....he's also probably the one who puts it on in the first place after getting so drunk.

If he's not with the troupe for New Years, he's probably raiding other people's parties, but not in the way Shalnark does. Shalnark just infiltrates those places and kills maybe 3-0 people. Uvo, on the other hand, full on raids the party. (mostly for the 'good stuff') He might even hurt someone simy to see others react, though. But if that's way too much chaos for his darling, he'll keep the violence to a minimum. But expect to get very drunk. Because he'll be handing you lots of cans, and saying "Drinks on me all night!...and these other fellas, too! Hahaha!"

Phinks-

Where would Phinks be, if not with his murder bro(Feitan)? Of course, he would love to have a party with his family and it'll be a blast. Though, other than trying to best Uvo in their annual shots game, he'll mostly be chasing Shal and Fei around for the dumb pranks they pull on him. Of course, he doesn't do this the entire time. He also really likes to socialize, too! He'll just be having a casual conversation, mostly with Feitan, The boss, Shal, Uvo, or Kortopi.

If he's not partying with his gang, he'll probably stay indoors, but still throw a full on party. He doesn't have to have 70 people at a party to have fun. Though, he does have a tradition of New Years Giving, where people give things to him...and by that, I mean he walks around every night and just takes what he wants while everyone is distracted. Of course, he won't always do this. If his darling asks him to stay inside, he will. He can still have a nice New Years with just the two of you!

"Mm, ok. I won't go stealin' or raiding anything, tonight. But, only on the condition you spend the rest of the year with me." He chuckles, delivering a very cheesey kiss after a very cheesey line.

Pakunoda-

She likes to bring in all the games. Pakunoda has always been, other than Chrollo and Shalnark, the adhesive of the group. Could they all get along just fine without them? Of course. They've known each other since forever. But those three still really help keep the peace. So it's not surprising she, along with Shal, likes to bring in all the games. Mostly the fun, team bonding ones. Though majority of them never get played, it's still fun. She also usually brings most of the food. She's actually quite the cook. Her, Machi, and Chrollo make most of the food. Sometimes, the others will order a couple of items and pick them up, back that's about it. At these parties, she loves to casually socialize and just watch her family do what they do. Create chaos, play pranks and games, argue, laugh, ect.

If there is no party with them, she actually probably just plays a couple of games with her s/o, cooks something nice, and has some nice champagne. Pretty much the stereotypical couple's night on New Years.

Shizuku-

If there's a party, it takes her a bit to arrive. She either gets lost, or forgets where she's going. She's supposed to bring some snacks or games or decorations, but she forgot them at home. So she'll probably just...get everyone some coffee? Yeah, people like coffee, why not on New Years? Oh, a member doesn't like coffee? Oh yeahhhh....Oh well, too late now. She'll try better next year. She likes to watch everyone play games, but also has a blast playing them herself. She also updates everyone how much more time is left until the new year....but forgets to check the last second. So it usually ends up being Machi, Chrollo, or Shalnark that let's everyone know its the last minute of the year.

If she's not at that party, she doesn't do anything. She honestly doesn't care too much. Unless her s/o has something planned, or asks her to do something, then she'll go. But other than that, she doesn't care much. In fact, she doesn't care too much about the countdown, and will just go to bed. She might refuse to get up, even if her s/o asks her to. The best way to get her to get up is to tell her there's fireworks outside. She likes watching those.

[hollisofficial]

look at this jean cosplayer i found! its crazy how many demographics DE reaches :D more pics under cut!

(link to their page)

[scoobydoodean]

Something fun for you to ponder. When Sam was soulless, Bobby thought there was a chance that, "This is just Sam." I think it's because Sam tends to perform empathy somewhat selectively, at times more cognitively than emotionally. Do I personally think it's a neurodivergent trait? Yes, I do. BUT. It's hilarious to me that Bobby looked at soulless Sam and thought, "Hmm. There's a good chance that's just Sam." No?

Ho ho! Very interesting.

From 6.06 "You Can't Handle the Truth":

DEAN I don't know how much longer I can do this, Bobby. You got to figure out what the hell he is and fast. BOBBY I'm trying. But, Dean, there's a worst-case scenario. DEAN What, Satan's my co-pilot? Yeah, I know. BOBBY Well, that'd be the other worst case. DEAN Well, then what? BOBBY Maybe it's just Sam

Notably: This happens before anyone knows Sam is soulless and before Sam has admitted that he doesn't feel anything, but after Sam has let Dean get attacked and turned by a vampire.

I don't think that Bobby disagrees with Dean that Sam is acting different from before (I think that's why he calls it a worst case scenario). Sam has been putting everybody on edge, not just Dean (Samuel says that Sam scares him in 6.07). I think what Bobby is considering is that Sam simply isn't the same person after The Cage—that Sam compartmentalized his emotions to deal with the trauma—turned himself into a stone cold killing machine as a coping tool—and now Sam doesn't know how to warm back up to feeling anymore or caring about anyone or anything (or maybe can't because it's still too raw). Bobby's considering the idea that Sam may have simply cracked open and spilled his emotions out on the floor somewhere and left them behind... which ironically, is pretty much what happened?

Bobby is aware of similar (though less extreme) behavior from Sam in the past in coping with trauma. In fact, he arguably knows this side of Sam better than Dean does. Sam ghosted Bobby while Dean was in hell (and for months in 3.11 "Mystery Spot", though Bobby doesn't remember that). It wasn't that Sam stopped feeling (he was full of anguish and rage), but he did push Bobby away and focus obsessively on revenge, hunting like a machine. Sam pushed away the potential to talk through Dean's death with someone else who loved Dean and understood a lot of the grief Sam was feeling because it opened him up to a dangerous amount of vulnerability.

This is very John-coded behavior from Sam and it doesn't represent a lack of emotion as much as it represents "I feel so much that I cannot stand the idea of touching that emotion or I will break". It's a refusal to engage with and feel certain emotions, because if he did, he wouldn't be able to get up. Anger is fuel that burns hot and keeps you moving, but grief and fear can rip the life from you.

Consider even John's way of dealing with the worry he perpetually felt about Sam. Yelling and telling Sam never to come back when Sam wanted to go to school, making the fight all about betrayal and responsibility when deep down the entire time, John was just scared that Sam would get hurt (1.08, 1.20). Griping at Sam as a kid for wanting to play soccer (1.08), but without Sam's knowledge, quietly placing Sam's soccer trophy in a storage unit because John couldn't bear to throw it away even though there was no room for it on the road (3.03). John buried certain representations of affection and love because they were fraught with so much terror. Being open about how much he cared exposed him to feeling so much fear he couldn't cope with it, and John feels emotions incredibly deeply like Dean does. When the crying starts he cannot stop. It isn't macho bullshit—it isn't "I'm a man so this is unacceptable"—it's "If I feel this emotion right now at this exact moment then I will shatter into a million pieces".

Sam does the same thing when Dean is dead. Bobby represents vulnerability, family, and love—talking about how much Dean meant to both of them. The rage is easier. Being a hunting machine in 3.11 is easier. Focusing on murdering demon and training to kill Lilith is easier.

When the people Dean loves are in pain, Dean talks to them—he tells them how much he cares about them. He lets himself be vulnerable with it. Sam wants something to do and he needs to take charge. We see this is in 5.07 after Bobby reveals that he's having suicidal thoughts. Dean is distraught, and Sam is too (we see how much Bobby's opinion of him matters to Sam in 5.01)—but Sam just tells Bobby he isn't going to let him sacrifice himself, then jumps into action and focuses on the mission, while Dean lingers at Bobby's side. Then at the end of the episode, Dean sits down with Bobby alone and tells him how much he loves him and needs him. I don't think Sam could have that conversation at that point in his life. I genuinely don't think he could—and not because he doesn't love Bobby, but because he can't touch the distress that would surface from a discussion like that. One could argue Sam really does the same thing in 3.10, stepping outside of Bobby's house and seeking out Jeremy inside Bobby's dream while Dean goes up the stairs and finds Bobby and again—opens himself up to vulnerable emotions and expresses how much Bobby means to him—that he sees him as a father and he can't lose him. Sam focuses on finding the guy doing all of this and skirts the emotional vulnerability.

I think this is something Bobby, then, is very familiar with from Sam, so when he takes it to an extreme, where Sam is now dealing with a traumatic experience from being in The Cage, he can easily see how Sam would suppress his emotions and focus on hunting like a machine yet again, and how that could possibly reach such an extreme that Sam would stop feeling altogether and maybe not know how to or not be able to come back from that. And you know... I've never thought of this before in this exact way, but how did Sam's soul and body get separated in The Cage? Is there anything that disproves the idea that Sam himself ripped his soul from his body to cope with Lucifer's torture?

[cowboythebrother]

my blond boyfriends 💛

[badasserywomen]

The hot girls are here

[masakuterarr]

Phantom Troupe - Among Us

ME SAW WHOOOOOOOOOO

I am crying so much rn- while chatting with @monosanimegenericzone the glorious idea came that the bebis play video games. And one of the games was among us... I am literally wheezing rn

[azurecake16]

also while I would love the idea of there being a sixth series (please i need my minecraft bloodsports)I love how it works out with the five seasons. Each victor is one stage of grief. Grian as bargaining, Scott as depression, Pearl as denial, Martyn as anger and Scar as acceptance?! (oh also Grian and Scars are somewhat interchangeable)

[storybookprincess]

HAPPY @hxhbigbang24 POSTING DAY YOU CAN READ THIS HERE

[shalpilot]

When’s the last time Kidd drank any water

rightnow

[shallowseeker]

Dean’s grief on speedrun

How long was Cas dead, anyway?

I think they reunited around day 18-24 days ish. The scripts give us some clues. (Based on this post)

==Dean is grieving hard==

He’s not in denial, like Sam seems to be -> “Is he really dead?” “You know he is.”

And because Dean now knows Chuck & Amara, he’s not getting stuck in bargaining stage (his usual MO). There is no door of hope to leave ajar after the cosmic consequences are rendered. (Not even the symbolic going-through-the-motions kind that he never intends to open again.)

No, this time, Dean’s in the throes of an incredibly frightening, paralyzing despair (images).

This is partially due to the fact that he saw it coming, and he fought so hard. He resolved to avoid the looming, cosmic consequences, to “not let Cas walk away, not again (script).” Dean made up his mind to act to protect the, “everything he’s ever wanted (script).”

And still, everything went so wrong.

///

The grief, then, is different. It’s a despair born of crushed hopes and dreams. Not to mention, forgiveness and acceptance—as Dean got onboard to help Cas, regardless of his own misgivings, because Cas “had faith in the kid.” This time, he stood behind Cas when he asked, and it still went rotten.

After everyone dies, Dean pleads with God/Chuck. Chuck is the one who brought Cas back before and the only one who seems able to rebuild angels. He doesn’t answer.

Even though Dean had a special connection to Amara, the one who resurrected his burned-up, supposed-to-stay-dead mother, she doesn’t answer either.

This time, he knows they’re out there, perhaps even listening. And they’re not answering because Dean’s run out of free passes and miracles.

This time, that knowledge crushes him where he stands.

///

DAY 1-2 (Lost and Found)

13x01 starts in the twilight hours after the big Lucifer fight.

Dean takes a shot at Jack, and Jack flees.

Heaven and Hell hunt them relentlessly.

They retrieve Jack from North Cove police station.

An angel stabs Jack in the chest with an angel blade, and he seems astonished to be “fine.”

Sam and Dean take time to grieve and scatter ashes.

The funeral occurs that evening, and they quickly get on the road.

///

DAY 3 ish (The Rising Son)

In 13x02, they're still driving home from the funeral towards the bunker, "12 hours till we get home," and Sam convinces Dean to stop at a motel.

Addition: When they eat, Jack remarks that he's 3 days old. "3 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes."

Over the course of this episode, per the script, 2 days pass.

They eat dinner, go to a tattoo parlor, meet up with Donatello, and stay overnight in the motel.

Heaven and Hell continue to hunt them relentlessly.

Sam, Dean, and Donatello debate nature vs nurture, with Dean and Donatello leaning towards nature.

Sam psycho-analyzes Dean and delivers euphemisms to Jack about Dean “wanting to protect everyone and getting his wires crossed,” but ultimately, he isn’t forthcoming to Jack about the reality of the situation. (That is, it was Lucifer that killed Cas, and Lucifer who pulled Mary into another world--that Dean's grieving!) These important details might've helped Jack to understand his situation with a lot more clarity and grace. This will cause Jack to cool towards Sam when Dean reveals the truth during an argument.

Demons find them the next morning.

In fact, Dean nearly dies against a common demon, getting cornered on a hotel bed, but he is saved at the last minute by Sam’s interference.

Jack, tricked by Asmodeus, nearly releases the Shadim.

They drive home.

Later, Jack freaks out about being impervious to stabbing. In his new bunker room, he laments, “What the hell am I? I can’t control… whatever this is. I will hurt someone.”

Dean tells him he will be Jack's executioner if Jack loses control.

At most, it's been only 5 days since everyone died.

///

DAY 5 ish (Patience)

13x03 picks up mere hours after they get home, and it covers 5 days total. So, that brings us to a decently solid total of 10-ish days when this episode finishes.

Dean can't bear to be in the bunker with mission-mode Sam and Jack, so he takes off on a hunt.

Clearly in no shape to hunt, Dean dies at the hands of a wraith (and so does Jody). They are both saved by Patience’s interference.

Dean tells Patience there’s no joy in this life. Only pain and death.

Sam and Dean have a huge fight about Jack, during which Dean accidentally gives Jack context to the situation (re: Cas’s death, Mary’s plight). This causes Jack, already exhausted by Sam’s well-meaning training regimen, to cool towards Sam the next morning.

Cas appears to awaken in The Empty on day 9 or 10.

///

DAY 10-11 ish (The Big Empty)

13x04 SEEMS like the very next morning, because Dean AND Jack are both still chilly towards Sam. The air is described as arctic, with Dean giving Sam a, "don't even try it, motherfucker," face. Jack accuses Sam of wanting to use him as an interdimensional can opener and "being just like Asmodeus," and Sam comes clean about the truth.

Sam pushes them all to go on a case together. Jack says he doesn’t want to go at first. Sam wants Jack to go with them for the express purpose of forcing Dean to be around him and warm up to him, which isn’t fair to Dean or Jack…not really.

This storyline covers the family therapy scene (great analysis), wherein an interesting attempt at therapy is made under dishonest constraints.

Dean, still clearly in no shape to hunt, is easily overtaken by the shifter and nearly dies. He is saved by Jack’s interference.

According to the script, 13x04 occurs over 4 days. Commentary//

That means that Dean thawed to Jack, after our total of a mere 14 days. By the end of this episode, they're on shaky terms, and by the beginning of 13x06, calling out to each other in a friendly manner, "How was the case?"

Jack "puts a dent in Dean's armor," per the script, even before he saves them with his powers. Dean is doing everything he can not to like Jack, and it’s clear from the script that he’s failing.

At the end of the episode, Dean tells Sam to absorb the weight of the hunting burden, because he’s got no hope left.

Cas appears to awaken in a field on day 14. Presumably, his ashes are in the middle of nowhere, and he starts walking.

///

DAY 14-20 ish? (Advanced Thanatology)

Here’s where it gets foggier.

I can't tell exactly when 13x05 picks up with respect to the previous episode, but it seems like only a little bit of time has passed.

I would say a week at most has passed, but possibly as little as a day or two, and the case itself, per the script, covers another 4 days.

However, if Cas awoke in The Empty on day 10, and woke in the field around day 14, I think I favor a shorter timeline here with some of the “days” being overlapping back story from the case itself.

Anyway, Jack has been making his way through Sam's DVDs, "Red Sonja, Beast Master, Beast Master II." Commentary//

Sam does not intuit why Dean is up late at night/early twilight hours, making a PB & J (analysis).

Sam tries to remedy Dean’s overwhelming grief by pushing breakfast beer and strip clubs toward him. Alcohol to numb the pain + sexy stuff as a distraction. Now more than ever, Dean seems to perform those only for Sam’s benefit. (It seems Sam did not pay attention to Mia Vallens's therapy, except as a means to validate his own motives for trying to save Mary. Ouch! Poor Sam!)

Sam is not great with empathy here, bless my neurodivergent man-child. He’s dealing with a loss of his own, of course, and he’s been shown to be an impatient, mission-motivated griever (analysis).

Anyway, he’s completely at sea with Dean’s powerful grief, and he seems tragically unaware of Dean's close calls/being off his game over the course of the last few hunts.

Sam, perhaps understandably, wants Dean to be there for him n’ Jack, as caretaker and comrade, but Dean is too mentally wounded to bear the weight of that expectation. (Btw, I don’t think Sam really “gets” the Cas thing till 15x09 The Trap: Sam’s future is symbolized by Eileen-as-hope (analysis) and Sam realizes Dean’s future is built around Cas-as-foundation.) Dean dies...again//

Dean attempts suicide.

He tells Billie he doesn’t matter.

After he revives, Dean tells Sam, “No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay… And I would take the hit… And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.”

This is an elegant parallel to season 7’s grieving Dean, about his not being able to “shake” what happened with Cas, and admitting, “he doesn’t know why.” (Cas is different. Cas has always been different.) In season 7, he also says, “I’ll do what I can,” in response to Sam telling him to get his head in the game and stay alive. Cas is a core wound in both scenarios.

///

==Death & resurrection==

So, that would bring our guesstimate to Cas reuniting with the boys around 20-24 days. So, at most a little over 3 weeks but possibly closer to 4, especially if the backstory timelines of actual “case days” overlap, like 13x05 potentially does.

I am reasonably certain Cas awakened in the field near day 14. I’d personally put the actual reunion at 18-20 ish days, and certainly not longer than a month. They reunite in early June, I think. Blackberries are a summer fruit, and there are wild blackberries in the field where Cas awakens.

Dean drives to Cas and meets up with him, "in the middle of nowhere," so it seems Cas's grave and subsequent walk to civilization was in quite a remote area.

///

Going back through this, I was pretty astounded how Dean kept dying or nearly dying in those days following Cas’s death. He was definitely in no state to be hunting.

(images from CSN, SPN wiki, fangirlism.com)