#shame is a necessary weapon in fighting greed but it IS a weapon. be so careful where you point that shit. enough shame can kill a person

[andthebeanstalk]

the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards? Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you sure this is where you want to direct your punk energy? Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

[husbandohunter]

Your Stardew Impact has given me a serious brainrot and I couldn’t sleep on it so here

Imagine the boys getting Isekai to Stardew and meeting their (soon-to-be) s/o a.k.a the farmer who found them in the mines and dragged them out.

It’s basically the same as the original but the reader lives in Stardew universe from the beginning.

The Outlanders who trespassed the Stars [Stardew Valley + Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: You were a simple farmer who lived a simple life before crossing paths with these outlanders. A tale of greetings and farewells tells a story that loving someone was like looking at the stars in the sky; a sense of warmth amidst darkness, where the dots connect no matter what distance it was. But just like stars, they were meant to be unobtainable.

(Basically what happens if the boys get Isekai'd)

Genre: fluff, angst (faceapalm didn't mean to)

Characters: Childe, Xiao, Zhongli

(A/n): Hi anon, haha I didn't think the Stardew Impact series would be this enjoyable. Allow me to serve your brainrot. But just for future references there is a character limit! Also it long, a pro tip to use ctrl+F and type in the name :>

======================

~Childe's Story~

The day you met Childe was perhaps during the most fortunate yet unfortunate hour of your life.

Winter comes by, your fields were left dry, what else was there to do other than mining? You were aiming to build a new Barnhouse before summer comes, fishing only made average income thus you decided to take your pickaxe and hope to run into some diamonds, gold or even better: prismatic shards. However, expensive items could only be found in the deepest parts of the mountains, where dangerous monsters lurk by.

When peeking over the abandoned minecart you so carefully shielded yourself with, you began contemplating whether you've just dug yourself a grave instead. The whole area became infested, you weren't in the best condition and on top of all that, you were out of food.

You decided to make a run for it, with the treasures and goodies at hand, you couldn't give up. However, things only got worse when purple mist began taking over your vision, signaling a lava bat wave drawing nigh. It was thanks to your greed that you ended in such a predicament but it was also your greed that brought you to him.

"W-Woah!!"

You tripped with your toe pointing downwards into a pile of wooden crates. The bats swarmed in shortly after, daunting around the area above but you couldn't afford to look. Your face was down to the ground and you could only rely on your ears regarding their whereabouts. As if Yoba heard your prayers, the lava bats could not seem to find you, confusing them to think you've escaped. And so, they flew away.

"I'm never doing that again," The sudden impact was excruciating, you were sure that your lip bled due to biting too hard. At least the floor felt somewhat soft, cotton-like and warm enough to be comforting. Yet, for some reason it was also a little…bony?

"…Mn…."

Your body jerks up like a springboard when you felt something shifting. A man, no older than his twenties, no older than you, lays sprawled out under your form. He was beginning to stir and you panicked when a pair of blue cerulean eyes pointed into your seemingly shocked ones within the close parameter.

Too close.

The man gives a cheerfully wry chuckle, you could practically feel his breath almost, "Well this is quite unexpected, didn't think I'd end up in this position," he jests, soon his expression began to tighten into a grimace, "Mind getting off me though? With all due respect miss, you're a little-…heavy."

You scrambled to the side while still kneeling, "What the hell, who are you?!"

"Hm," The man didn't answer, instead he pushed himself upright and turned his attention to examine the surroundings, "Where are we?" He paused when he noticed how the ceiling was made of rocks, "Wait, is this a cave?"

"Ninety two floors deep and surrounded by monsters," you sighed in frustration while rubbing your head with your palm, "Seriously, whoever you are you shouldn't be here, especially if you're not even carrying the necessary supplies."

"Hey, I just got here. I'm just as confused as you," he puts his hands up in a defensive gesture, "But how strange," he mutters to himself, lowering his arms ever so slightly before pinching his chin in deep thought, "I swear it was the right portal…or maybe it was the other one? Hmmm, could it be the effect of the hidden seal?"

I have so many questions. You sweatdropped nervously. Here you were, hours spent to get to the deepest parts of the earth and looking like a cavewoman while his clothes were practically untouched, nor did they seem to be a recognizable fashion. You've seen many odd events within Stardew Valley but not to this extent, "Alright you know what, let's forget about it for now. We need to get out of here before those lava bats come back for us again. Otherwise we're toast," you gestured to the lava pool, "Literally."

He gave another one of his gleeful smiles, you wondered if he was afraid at all, "Sounds like a solid plan to me. Judging by the equipment you're wearing, you seem to have been here for a while. You know your way around?"

Figures that he doesn't know, you thought, "I'll lead."

"Glad we're on the same page. Though, we've only just met and yet you're still willing to help a stranger like me," he mentions in an off-handed manner, perhaps he wasn't used to generosity ever since being recruited as a harbinger, "But not that I'm complaining. You have my thanks, comrade."

"(Y/n)," you tell him, "That's my name. I'm a farmer that resides in this town."

"I see. A town it is then," he inquires, "Call me Childe, as where I'm from, not sure how to answer that anymore."

"What do you-"

But before you were able to question him further, a hoard of lava crabs were spotted crawling it's way towards where Childe sat. He shot you a confused look and turned to the direction, amusement sparks in his eyes,

"Lava crabs? You've got to be kidding me," your arms have already grown tired long ago, at this rate, you figured it may be best to pay a visit to Harvey's doctor office and check up for any muscle strains that have occured during the process. You most likely have considered how heavy your items felt now. Partaking in another battle would only make it worse.

"Ah an opponent, to think this place wouldn't have a set of new monsters to fight. I was growing tired of beating up hilichurls all the time."

His casual reaction caused you to scrunch up your nose in disbelief, "We're being ganged up on and your first response was that???"

Childe paid no mind, instead he propelled himself back to his feet using his trained reflexes and swaggered towards the crowd, "Relax girlie," Stopping just after a few steps, he turns his head ajar over his shoulder with a floppy smirk spreading his lips, "I've got this."

You held in your breath, wondering if you could trust this man. For now all you could do was sit back and hopefully regain some of your strength while observing by the stacks of crates that were abandoned years ago. The lava crabs formed a straight line in front of him, they were smart creatures, cornering their prey in a very well strategized form so that trespassing was out of the question. Childe wasn't intimidated in the slightest, he merely looked down at them with hooded eyes, flexing his fingers for preparation.

"Lava crab…in other words you're of the pyro element," the harbinger holds out his hand in front of him, trying to cultivate the shape of his bow, "A shame. This fight would end much shorter than I anticipated."

However, when he expected his element to manifest, nothing came out. Childe was left dumbfounded.

"Don't just stand there," you screeched, "Do something!!!"

"Wait," he halts you and tries to summon his bow again. Once, twice, as the crabs grew closer still there was nothing, "My powers…they're gone?!"

"Take this," left without a choice, you pushed yourself towards him and shoved Neptune's glaive into his grasp. He examines it with curiosity, but you knew this was also your own well-being you were entrusting him, "It's really easy to use, just-"

When a crab leapt forward, you ran back to create some manageable space for Childe to move in. He delivers a powerful slice using one arm, hitting the crab's weak spot while tossing it toward the side until a dent was formed in the wall. Your mouth parts, fast, he was fast, you didn't even have the time to blink. It was as if he knew the glaive more than you did. Though, the assumption wasn't that far from the truth. Childe was well adept with swordsmanship as he was an expert with many other melee weapons. Which is precisely the reason why he chose the bow as his main, a ranged device, the challenge to keep him on his toes. Just like he was now.

"He wasn't lying when he said he could fight," you watched in mesmerization, each single blow he delivered deemed equivalent to three hits on your part. Childe was both powerful and swift. He was formidable. The way he effortlessly deflected his opponents despite not having an enchantment ring made you forget how much of an idiot he was earlier before. Soon, the lava crabs began to lessen, leaving what remained of their dusted corpse while some retreated back into the depths of the cave.

"Not bad, it was kind of fun!" Childe laughs exasperatedly, glancing at his blue reflection upon the marred blade, "It's been a while since I last used a sword, and still haven't gone rusty either," he hands you the hilt, "Thanks for letting me use it by the way. You seriously got yourself a sick weapon."

"Keep using it for now, I think I'm a little too worn out to handle it," you say regretfully and pointed your nose towards the ceiling, "The mist hasn't disappeared so there's probably gonna be more monsters we'll encounter soon."

Childe looks up as well, "Huh I was wondering what that meant."

"By the way I've never seen anyone fight like that. Exactly what kind of place are you from?" You finally ask, "You somehow ended up in a cave, without anything to defend yourself with and it's not like you know your way out either. Are you...from another world?"

"Huh didn't think you'd draw that conclusion so quick," he comments jokingly, "Guess there's no reason to hide it anymore. Indeed I am from another world, at least, that's what I can tell so far. I've never encountered these types of monsters either."

You couldn't help but be taken aback by his honesty, "That was strangely easier than I thought...."

After escaping the cave, you introduced Childe to the wizard who lived in Cindersap forest, M. Rasmodius. He was extremely intrigued by the concept of an outlander and seemed happy to be of assistance. Since helping others was the culture of Pelican Town, you commissioned Robin to build a small cabin for him to live in temporarily. In return, Childe must accompany you back to the caves and make up for your losses. It was a mutual benefit since he had the opportunity to fight as well.

Childe befriended the townsfolk rather easily. On friday nights where everyone goes to the Saloon to enjoy their time, he would be found in the other room playing pool with the gang (Sam, Abigail and Sebastian)-- you as well when he managed to drag you along with him.

Crashes at your place when you were busy with the farm. You can bet that he would pop up suddenly midday through your window, “Can you use the door like a normal person???” But despite how much you get irritated by this habit, all bygones are bygones the moment he starts a conversation.

He sticks around as you carry your hay batches, sharing his stories. How the organization he worked in was a powerful militaristic force that had authority over many countries. But you didn't see him as a brute since he only joined for the sake of his parents, for the sake of his siblings and their dreams.

You thought of your grandfather who also once told you to pursue your dreams: live a peaceful life away from urban society. However, as long as the harbinger was with you, there wasn't much option for 'peace'.

"Tell me again why you dragged me out here? You know thatI still have a lot of work to finish back in the farm," you trekked your feet through the thick icy sheets with one hand clutching the zipper near your collarbone. It was incredibly windy in Cindersap forest and Childe happened to have convinced you to leave the comfort of your home for 'a surprise favour'. He purposely made a vague statement to draw in your curiosity but if you had refused-- well, that would have led to constant nagging on his part.

"You'll see," is what he said, it was what he told you through this whole ordeal. He lifted his chin to feel the frosty air against his face, "There's this one activity I wanted to try out. Back in Snezhnaya, I used to bring my brother to go skating out on the lakes. It's deadly freezing there so the ice is pretty thick to work on. Haven't done any of that since I joined the Fatui."

You shot him a deadpan glare, "That's why you brought me out here? Why didn't you just go by yourself?"

"Now that's cold (Y/n),” you rolled your eyes at the pun, “Can't you loosen up instead of throwing yourself in a pile of work all day?"

"It's not that I don't want to...I'm just very busy with the farm since it's the last day of the month. At least I want to do as much as I can before Spring comes."

"Haha you're right but you only live once y'know?" Childe noted happily despite your protest, "And like I said before, seize the opportunity when you see it. You never know when it will be your last."

You cocked your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Now let's get started shall we?" As you both reach the edge of the frozen lake, Childe takes a step forward ahead of you, "Have you ever gone ice skating before?"

"Yeah but..." You glanced at the glassy surface with skepticism, suddenly struck by hesitance. The thought of drowning made you retreat your steps right away, "I don't know Childe, it doesn't seem that safe."

"That's true if you're not careful enough," he pointed out, "Luckily you have me to help you with that."

"How does that work?"

He placed one foot onto the hardened lake and parts his mouth into a grin, "Watch."

In contrast to your cautious personality, Childe was considered to be more of a wildcard if anything. He loved adventure, just like you except his side often included bloodshed and the thrill that danger carries. You weren't sure if it was worth putting up with his antics or entertaining his idea of skating on thin ice, but you complied regardless. He had a way of delivering his words through that cheery voice you couldn't deny.

Prior to meeting him, life was boring. The corporate world was boring. You moved into your grandfather's farm in order to search for some form of fulfillment that Zuzu city couldn't give and you thought you did now that you had your very own farm, but slowly you began to pile more responsibilities than you could even count.

Everything you did, you did alone.

If it weren't for Childe, you wouldn't have learned the art of surfing on ocean waters. You never would have known the taste of mixing three different ice-cream flavours together despite what strange names they all had. Or what it felt like to mingle with the townspeople rather than mingling for the sake of business. Suddenly, everything became...fun.

Childe wanted to go far and wide. He was always running, so far ahead, somewhere beyond the stars as he could conquer the world to the point you might no longer reach him.

No longer reach him, huh. Curling your fingers into your palm, you renewed your courage and took a step onto the ice.

At the sound of boots tapping behind him, Childe spins around to see you wobble in your stance, nearly tipping over. He slid across to where you were and grasped your arm before you fell.

"Gotcha."

"Thanks," You sighed in relief, "Jeez, this is harder than I thought."

"Guess this is your first time then," he commented with a bit of jest, "Don't stress yourself over it too much, you'll be okay. I got you."

He carefully led you to the center, staying close in case you were to fall sideways again. You awkwardly tried to keep your legs straight, balancing on your own yet the fact that there was still water underneath struck fear into your nerve. It caused you to tremble and eventually skittered backwards.

"Haha ice skating isn't your forte isn't it?"

"I'm just getting started!"

He takes your hand in his before you could even protest, it was one of his many aspects that you found endearing-- the fact his impulse stems from genuine intentions, feelings, not giving them a second thought. The two of you glide using the soles of your shoes, he speeds up ever so slightly and the adrenaline begins to increase until there comes a rush of excitement, freedom. The stress you once had already forgotten once taking flight upon the ice.

"Look Childe! I'm actually doing it!" You couldn't help mentioning with a bit of youthful playfulness in your voice, "It's so smooth and fast! Almost like I'm flying!"

He smiles quietly from a distance, “See? I told you that you'll be fine.”

It was clear to many that the two of you were much closer than what meets the eye.

Childe began to notice the change in your aura. You were happier and much more soulful. Before you were always on the edge, cautious in contrast to his sanguine approach, he couldn't help but be caught off guard whenever you teased him. Or the sudden honesty that causes him to be flustered. By your side, he was no longer a Fatui Harbinger rather more of a puppy, adorable almost.

But when he saw that the reason you changed was because of him, it brought fear into his bones. Why? How did things get to this point? You were lost in a wonderland, ignorant to the blossom that had sprung inside of your chest.

Maybe it was better to be ignorant. Just live in the moment while it can still last.

"You're leaving?"

Standing at the gateway between the mountain cliffside and the starry sky, you call out to the man you've known in a way that carries more than what words could say. Because he left a mark in your years that could never be erased and here he was, trying to erase his existence completely.

Childe lets out a bitter chuckle, he didn't dare to face you, "I didn't expect you to catch up so quickly. You're quick-witted, comrade."

"It's (Y/n)," you corrected, trying to steady your voice so that he couldn't tell the expression you were making, "Why didn't you say anything? What makes you think that I'll just stay silent and let you go on your own way? This isn't a joke Childe! Don't act as if none of it matters to you because it sure as hell did to me."

His lips that held his usual smirk flattens into a straight line, "Even if I did, would it make a difference?"

The world stills. You knew the answer, he knew the answer, you just refused to admit it. One by one, the stars begin to collect themselves until a bridge was formed in front of him, on another day he would be enjoying the scenery alongside you. But today they would be for you alone to witness. The man who you spent your time with had slowly, regretfully, inevitably became a stranger. He was right. It wouldn't make a difference. You were already aware since the day you met him that he belonged to another world and you willingly offered to help him find a way home.

"You know, you could come with me."

Your eyes jolt open. His voice was so free of care. As if he was commenting on something so minor on a casual Sunday afternoon while accompanying you to the beach. But when you came face to face with the harbinger, his expression lackluster, you knew that he meant every word.

"Just you and me, we can travel across the world to our heart's content. I always thought you were an adventurer just like me and you know what, the farm life just doesn't suit you," Childe slowly extends his hand as an offer, for you it was a temptation, "So what do you think? Care to join me?

Your lip quivers. What he said sounded like a sweet dream that you so desperately wanted to take a bite out of. But even so, you thought about the townsfolk, your farm, your grandfather. Their images flashed in as if holding you back, chaining you to the ground, "I can't."

The answer pained you more than it did to him.

"Figures, this is your home after all," he huffs out, " Now do you understand? I can't leave my home either. If I did, heh, I think my siblings would despise me until the very end and I just don't want that. So no hard feelings, okay?"

You didn't reply.

"Don't worry. I won't pressure you if you don't want to," Childe turns back to the bridge, it was almost time, "Do what you have to do (Y/n), hate me if it makes you feel any better. You can even forget about me," he paused, renewing his resolve, "But I know I won't."

"Childe-"

You ran to grab his scarf only to have it ghost through your hands. He was relieved that he couldn't hear your voice, as he returned to Teyvat, Childe wonders what kind of expression did you have before he left? He'll never know.

---

~Xiao's Story~

The day you met Xiao...well, you weren't in the best of the best positions.

This was probably your sixth attempt trying to make it through all levels of the cave and reach the last floor. The quest had been sitting in your drawer for months.

Of course you didn't expect things to be easy, the fortune teller channel you watched every morning had yet to inform you with any good fortune and you would often bump into obstacles that would halt your progress.

But to be fair, sometimes the colourful ore would attract your attention and before you knew it, it was time to go.

So close yet so far. You dragged your feet tiredly against the ground. What time was it? Who knows. Judging by your state, you assumed it had already struck past 12 a.m.

However, today luck seems to have taken pity on you, just...slightly.

You puffed air into your cupped hands for the nth time, huddling deeper into the touch of your coat while trudging into the cave's cold climate. A little longer, any time soon, you kept telling yourself over and over but as if time was frozen, the wait felt like an eternity. Ah how much you wish to be in the comfort of your soft, fluffy bed right now. Though, merely visualizing the image only reminded how achingly freezing it was so you decided it was best to spare yourself from the details.

"I can't do this anymore..." leaning your head against the ice covered cavern, you whimpered, "I should have stayed home."

As you were about to shut your eyelids, something flashed by your peripheral vision. You darted towards the direction it came from, the light was a bright green hue against blue, could it be, "Warmth!"

It seems you jumped to conclusions too quickly. With impatience, you swung around the corner, expecting to find a heat source, only to meet something much more horrifying.

"KYAH!"

They stared straight into your eyes, those demonic eyes tainted by black and fangs that stuck out of the mouth like tusks on an elephant.

However, when the light evaporated you were able to have a better sense of sight, slowly revealing the monster's true form and the body of a human boy. He fell onto his back with a thud and you used this chance to calm yourself from the frightful encounter.

"He's...unconscious?"

You meekly crawled to where he lay and examined closely. Aside from the mask, there were various distinct features that stood out in his attire, his tattoo being one of them, imprinted in what looked like an eagle. You then realized how unsuitable his clothes were in this current situation. At least there were no injuries so far. But was that a good thing? This man practically came out of thin air as if some sorcery had been committed. Witches never left a good impression ever since they cursed your chicken coop. You were hesitant whether to help a stranger who could potentially be one of them or a creation they cultivated. What other explanation could there be?

"I can't leave him here, it's too cold."

Your gaze suddenly falls upon his covered face. The design, although intimidating at first, upon closer look was very alluring in it’s own way. You haven't stumbled upon anything like what the merchants had to offer in Pelican Town and the mask almost looked too foreign. Was he from the east? Curiosity eventually takes over and you gingerly reach for the mask, sliding it off his face.

"Eh...?" You gasp, taken aback by his striking appearance. A part of it made you feel this was no ordinary boy but that didn't mean he should be abandoned in this environment. It would be immoral to let him die in a place like this.

Before you could even make a noise, his eyes bursted awake, grabbing your wrist in a harsh grip. He used his other hand to push against your shoulder until you were instantly pinned on your back with no opening to escape. You choked a sharp sound as you stared with wide eyes. The man was akin to a beast, he had the expression to match it, like the glaring sharp gaze of wolves that roam at the mountain cliffside near Zuzu city and the ferocity of the demonic mask he once wore. You were breath taken but in a more fearful way as he continued to grip onto you tighter with the possible intent to harm.

"Speak!” He demanded, “What have you done to my powers and where have you brought me?"

In Xiao’s case, he was thrown into another world under the circumstances of fighting against one of Liyue’s unknown beasts. He was on high alert, thinking the fight was still ongoing.

You may look human but you could still be a threat. Xiao is the type to act upon instinct in the moment when something feels out of place. Like the spear he wields, he was trained to behave like one: to strike, strike down his foes without hesitation. Don't leave an opening for them to take the advantage. Xiao is a weapon and violence was what he knew best. He couldn't afford to lower his guard even for a minute.

You could say he left a pretty strong first impression to the point you were paralyzed. As he looked at your face, petrified and tense, he wavered and began to reevaluate things. Large doe-like eyes stare into his feline ones. They didn't seem to hold any sort of malice, was it possible for you to be the one who cursed him?

"Eeeeeek! I-I have no idea what you're talking about, let me go let me go!" you cried, "Please don't hurt me!"

Perhaps he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.

Xiao feels your struggle and eventually gets off to give you some space. Your reaction was understandable, he was used to it anyways. Xiao scoffed to himself, why are mortals so weak? Their strength, if compared to the adepti, was separated by a large gap (Like it always should be). Xiao kept his gaze averted to the side as you rubbed your wrist, focusing his attention elsewhere. He glanced at the vastness of the cave in front of him.

Why was he sent here? For what reason did it serve? Ever since he sealed the contract with Rex Lapis, the guardian Yaksha had never entertained the thought of leaving his country nor did he act upon it; he was far too loyal to his god to do so. But here he was, against his own will yet free from his karmic binds, stripped of his divine powers in the return of endless questions about this new found mortal-like form.

What should I do now?

Choosing not to dwell in any longer, Xiao rises to his feet and proceeds to walk the other way.

"Ah u-uhm sir, where are you going?"

If the universe wanted to test him then he'll find his own answers.

"Wait! Please wait up!"

"Tch."

Although he intended to keep going, Xiao heard you running to his direction and slowed to a halt, some mortals surely do not know their boundaries, "Hmph there's nothing timid about you. Leave me be," he demands without turning around, "Don't forget what I'm capable of."

Stay away.

"I-I know that," you retaliate weakly. Just by hearing his tone made you want to melt away and become one with the ice. He was a scary man indeed, the same one who attacked you earlier. But even so, "That doesn't mean I want you dead! If you go that way, you might freeze to death. Aren't you cold? You don't even have a coat on."

"..." Upon the mention of his predicament, his senses started to kick in. As a yaksha, Xiao wasn't able to be affected by temperature but now he felt his hands beginning to sting, trembling from it’s impact. Ah, so this is what it feels like to be cold. Still Xiao was stubborn and continued to push you away, "What happens to me has nothing to do with you. Now leave, or else."

"I-I can't do that!"

Xiao clicks his tongue in frustration. How annoying. This is why he dislikes meddling with meddlesome humans. But quite frankly, he wasn't sure how to handle your type of forwardness since most tend to back away. And so, Xiao does what he usually does, he ignores you and continues walking, eventually you'll give up on him anyway. However he hears a loud thump and whips around to see your body laying in the snow. The hours of travelling in the cave have seemed to caught up that you inevitably collapsed from exhaustion.

Knitting his evergreen brows together, Xiao lets out an irritable sigh.

...

You wake up to find the sky above your head and your coat draped over your shoulders like a blanket. Dawn was slowly rising above the distance valley, you figured it was around 4a.m in the morning. Rubbing your eyes, you eventually noticed a figure sitting across, admiring the sunrise.

"Ah it's you!"

Xiao jolts ever so slightly, peeking over his bare shoulders until you could see the sun's light casted against his golden irises. Did he stay here while you were asleep? Then, that would also mean he was also the one who carried you all the way up from sixty floors below.

“You're awake,” he noted flatly, “If that's the case, then I have no reason to stay here."

Of course, that wouldn't be the last time you saw him.

You were a tenacious human being, always so insistent in dragging him away from his lonesome personality. He resides in the forest and camps there for the time being (similar to Linus since they’re both homeless lol). But you’d always run in, DAILY and sometimes for the most stupid and mundane reasons. It could either be giving him the snacks you snatched off the table since Xiao refused to participate in parties, or fancy seashells you found on the beach. You didn’t want him to miss out on all those things of course! Although he responds with irritation, it was as if his words went through your ear and then out the other. His efforts were futile (however, he was slowly warming up without realizing).

He learns how easily his body reacts in the presence of food purely because he was hungry. You bring an extra set of blankets and pillows to his campsite when the ones you gave him wore out (he didn’t ask by the way). Xiao needed help whether he liked it or not since he no longer has his powers, hence he couldn't run away. He somehow ends up moving in to live on the small islands near your farm.

Xiao doesn't understand humans very much. Just as he was unable to understand how human emotions work. He was the almighty yaksha, Adeptus Xiao and a formidable beast that killed thousands in thousands of years, at least that's what he used to be. Even now he still has yet to figure out what he was or who he was exactly without a weapon to define his existence. He was made for battle but nowadays, he found himself watering plants, chopping down trees and throwing seeds to the chickens living in your coop. How did everything escalate to this? It baffles him, how much his life changed so drastically.

Haha, you’re Xiao of course! The greatest farming assistant I could ever have.

But above all else, the one thing Xiao couldn't understand among those universal questions, is you.

"Why are you doing all this?" Finally he asked. The urging thought had been persisting at the back of his mind ever since.

You stopped on your tracks and turned to look at him, tilting your head with a complexion made curious, "What do you mean? Ah, did I do something to bother you?"

"I didn't say that," Xiao interrupts abruptly, he folded his arms across his chest and shot you a deep contemplating gaze, " You're...incomprehensible. All I did was drag you out of that cave yet why are you so kind to me? Don't you think you're extending yourself too much just because of one little deed?"

Because to him, saving a life was the norm. He does it unconditionally just like you helped him with those same intentions. Except, Xiao had been pursuing corrupted souls behind the scenes all this time and expected nothing in return. Experiencing someone's gratitude was rather new.

You shook your head, "It wasn't small to me," a satisfactory smile melting onto your face, "I'm here at this very moment, feeling the wind against my skin and smelling the scent that nature carries, these are just the few things I cherish. It's thanks to you that I can still watch over grandpa's farm, that's why I don't feel like I'm overextending myself in any way," suddenly you beam at him, "At first I thought you were a scary person. Haha. Time flies so fast, it's amazing how much can happen in between."

"Hn, you're a simpleton. But that's not a bad thing..." he points out curtly yet softly, "Do as you wish, I won't stop you so feel free to call my name whenever you need my help. I'll be there."

Xiao also finds you to be very clumsy. He couldn't leave your side even for a minute. But that was a lie. He just grew very attached to you.

When you tell him that you've been going into the mines for a quest, he tells you that you're far from capable. So he teaches you how to wield a weapon properly. Xiao was a strict teacher and he intends to keep it that way, he wouldn’t even allow you to set foot in the mines until he finds you capable enough.

You were a meek yet optimistic person, yet you were also strong-willed.

For a place that wasn't his home, he felt it was. And he found that it was all in your presence. Those peaceful hours hiding inside the barn while a storm rages outside, you sit beside him while hugging a sheep close to your chest. Xiao learns how to feed some of them, he even brings seeds for your hen house too. If you were ever short on materials, Xiao would travel to the enchanted forest behind the wizard's tower and get them for you, no matter how late it was. Though if you went by yourself, he'd deliberately go with you despite your protest.

The minute Xiao realized how much he was attached to you, it was devastating. As if the claws of his karmic debt had come back, pulling him into the shadows once more. He was an adeptus with a contract and bound by his duty, he must choose between his god who saved him from a nightmare and you, the girl he fell for, showed him that the world was indeed a beautiful place, he was stuck in an equilibrium and he felt that the binds may even tear him apart if he kept resisting.

But when did he ever have a choice?

"Where are you going Xiao?"

When he heard your voice calling his name, the yaksha willingly pulled himself to a halt. His sunset eyes narrowing from guilt before it shuts with a trembling sigh out of his mouth. Why is it that you always appear during the moments where he desperately needs to get away from you? He planned to sneak out the door, making sure his footsteps were unheard while you slept. And by the time you woke up, he didn't have to face you, he wouldn't have to say goodbye. He won't. Even if what he was currently doing said otherwise. He will never hear himself say those words.

"Xiao?"

Yet, he cannot refuse you. Not now, not ever. You were breathtaken to see a type of expression that you never thought was possible for him to make. The creases that once formed between his slender brows, the heaviness he always carried in his expression was replaced by a sense of sentimentality. Before you could register what was happening, Xiao took his step towards the porch of your house, not once did he tear away from your attention. He slides his hand beneath your jaw and affectionately against your cheek, the fondness evident in his gaze that you almost felt imprisoned by it.

"You never fail to appear in the most inconvenient of times," He gives a weak smile, a smile that makes your heart swell. Despite how much you could drown in his honesty, you couldn’t help but feel there was something wrong, “No matter how many times I’ve tried to push you away.”

You don't know him. You don't know his history and what things he committed in the past. But as if you've known this whole time, Xiao couldn't picture you leaving him for those reasons.

“You’re gentle but you don’t let others put you down. You’re kind but you don’t allow it to be your weakness. I sometimes wonder how it is possible for anyone to be so forgiving?”

"I-I don’t understand why you’re this Xiao. Is something happening?”

He won’t tell you. He doesn’t see the reason why you need to know.

You wince when something poked the side of your neck and you realized it was a tranquilizer. You looked at Xiao with dismay, his face becoming hazier until your vision darkened and could no longer hold your own weight. Xiao caught you around the waist with one arm as you fell unconscious.

"How can you be so stupid...?"

But he speaks as if those words were meant for him.

Pulling your body closer to him, Xiao chains you down into a desperate embrace. A silent scream of desperation. His forehead pressed against the bent of your shoulder and the other arm rested his hand at the center of your back. He will relish in the shape of your body, memorizing every curve both perfections and flaws. The way you fit into his arms and the pleasant smell of nature that you taught him to love, this was the only remnant he was allowed to take. Every detail, he will remember it as if clinging to the last moments of his whole world.

If he was allowed to have a desire, let him meet you again. He prayed to a god, any god-- even if it meant damaging his oath, he will accept his punishment. He prayed to each star in the sky and if he must he'll pray to the devil himself, whatever it is, he will do it for you.

As he painfully lets go, Xiao lets his hand slide off your body until the last thing he felt was the very tips of your fingers. He settles you down gently into your bed. You belong here in this peaceful world, not the one riddled with monsters.

---

~Zhongli's Story~

The Skull Cavern was considered to be the most dangerous mine of Stardew Valley. It wasn't your intention to run into any trouble, all you wanted was to test your cool new galaxy sword on some easy monsters and then be on your merry way. At first.

Just one more floor. You say, before catching an arm sticking out a pile of rocks.

"I-Is that a person?!!!"

You dug as fast as you could, any time soon the mummies would wake up and start attacking. Quick quick! Moving the last rock, you saw the face of a young man, he was asleep but alive! and undeniably attractive oh wow *lip bite*. But despite your attempts of shaking him awake, it was fruitless and the monsters weren't waiting.

Taking out two warp totems, you raised it to the ceiling and chanted a teleportation spell.

It wasn't everyday that you brought a man to your house.

But when you did, he wouldn't be from a cave, six floors down and buried in a place filled with monsters.

"And this small black device you say is some form of communicator? That certainly is intriguing, never in my years have I heard of something so advanced."

However you were beginning to think otherwise. That this man would have been from the prehistoric ages who you managed to unbury after his thousand year slumber. Zhongli sits on the couch across from you while examining your smartphone, a term he claimed had been completely foreign. You were contemplating whether you should bother Harvey despite being past his work hour and book an emergency appointment to see if this man had a special case of amnesia.

You brushed the idea away. There was so much going on and nothing made sense, for now, you decided to settle this on your own.

"Uhm Zhongli is it?" you asked nervously, "Maybe you can try giving the name of a relative or someone you know. I can use the phonebook to see if I can find their number."

“Number?” He parroted.

You blinked a few times, making sure if you heard him correctly, “Yes, number. You know? To communicate?”

"I appreciate your kind gesture," Zhongli acknowledges in a polite manner, "But that won't be necessary. This device doesn’t seem to be at a level where it can communicate with the people from my homeland."

If he was travelling then how the hell did he end up in THE Skull Cavern is what I wanna know!

“T-Then if you don't mind me asking, where are you from?"

Zhongli takes this moment to think of an answer, aware that if he blurted something out it would not have translated in the way he wanted. But you so kindly invited him to your humble household that he felt it would only be proper to owe you an explanation, "I suppose a land from afar."

You sweatdropped, "Suppose?"

"Yes. Although I won't spare you the details since this is not your burden to bear, it’s quite difficult for me to try and remember exactly what happened," Zhongli took his chin into his hand, fingers almost covering his mouth, "Perhaps I would need search for clues in order to refresh my memory."

Oh no he really does have amnesia!!

"A-Actually why don't I just call the local doctor, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you a hand," you say while taking your iPhone.

"A doctor? There's no need," dismissed Zhongli, "My condition is only a minor one and I do not think I'm in a position to afford medical assistance. Besides, you have done more than enough. May you find great fortune in your years Miss (Y/n), I shall be on my way."

He pushes himself up from the couch and you watch him cross towards the door. But just when he was about to reach the space of your carpet, Zhongli pulled to an abrupt stop.

"Ah yes,” He began as if remembering something, “ Do you happen to know where the nearest Inn is located? I would need to find a place to shelter for the time being."

"..."

This was how the former god ended up being your roommate. Like Xiao, Zhongli also takes upon a human form. He needed to eat, drink and a place to sleep. He insisted that he would take the couch as well as help you with any tasks that needed to be completed during the day.

You question if Zhongli was even aware of what situation he was currently in. Answer: HE WASN'T because Zhongli is an extremely dense man. To feel embarrassed was not part of his dictionary when living with a woman.

The type to take long showers. You always find the bathroom steaming because he doesn't turn on the fan to get rid of it (but maybe you should've taught him). So when it was your turn to use the shower, the water was either lukewarm or worst case scenario, cold.

Also he somehow finds your old kettle (that your grandfather used) to brew tea even though you told him you already had a water boiler. He stated that he liked doing things the old-fashioned way, it brings him a sense of nostalgia. You couldn't understand what he meant (unless you considered that he was older than he seemed....no that can’t be it!)

Despite it all, Zhongli was incredibly polite and considerate. Tending the farm was not an easy job and you often came home with sore muscles, fatigued from running so many errands. He's knowledgeable in terms of making the best herbal mix for a soothing remedy.

You would see a warm cup, every morning before going to work and every time you come home, it was sitting on the kitchen table (if his drink had potion effects, they would be regeneration).

Gentle he was but it wasn't good for your heart.

Ever since Zhongli moved in, it became difficult to live in your own house.

There were many situations where he caused trouble despite not intending to cause disruption to your daily routine. And when he did, the repairs came out of your own pocket. One time you opened your microwave to find thick ash and burnt cinders stuck upon the walls.The entire space was a hazard and needed to be dispensed immediately since Zhongli thought that plastic-wrapped items were allowed to be microwaved. Another incident, as bizarre as it sounded, was when your vacuum cleaner zoomed out of your house...and never came back. You remembered the awkward cough he gave when you shot him a deathly glare, hence why Zhongli was not allowed to touch your high-tech devices (if you considered them high-tech) without your permission.

Even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. It was the opposite in fact. One day, all the flaws you counted suddenly became his charms. You came to find them endearing almost.

Zhongli was a handsome man. He carried himself with a distinct aura that could only be found in the rarest geodes; revealing orestones mined from the depths of a forgotten cave, sometimes in the shape of exquisite artifacts-- a type of ancient charm. Perhaps that was why people were willing to obey his every command without hesitation. Whenever Zhongli spoke, it was full of firmness and authority yet somehow deprived of arrogance. He was polite to all and does not indulge in conflict despite how tempting gossip can be in modern society. Always patient during your temperamental moments and considerate to the point you wonder if he even had any desires. He was so kind that soon enough, you couldn't help but be flustered by his presence. Forget about having a conversation, maintaining his leveled gaze was already enough of a challenge. Like staring into the sun after the morning dew. So gentle and so very comforting. But the more you linger onto the sun, it's rays will continue to set ablaze, eventually bringing you pain.

And you feared that you have grown addicted to those feelings.

Why can't he understand?

Stopping at the center of the bridge, you kept your head low while letting the anger take form into your tightened fists. The town was empty with only the sound of water flowing beneath your feet, filling the heavy air. They rippled and swayed, peaceful amongst your inner turmoil. The fact that such a miniscule attribute was able to make your blood rise was hilariously pitiful. How did you stoop to a point that even nature, the very being you've tended for a living, could bring you bitterness? Were your feelings this uncontrollable? The answer was obvious. It spiraled, violently and mercilessly as if commanded by another. There was a wave of emotions filling your heart and you could almost feel yourself drowning from the inside. If only they were as tranquil as the ones you stood upon.

"I thought I would find you here."

The voice you dreaded calls from across and you fight to keep yourself from gasping. Oblivious to it all, Zhongli proceeds to close the distance until he towered over you, looking down to your bowed head, "When you hadn't returned home without a notice, I was getting worried if something had happened. But I'm glad that wasn't the case."

Your whole face clenches.

"Is something bothering you? If you would like, we can discuss it after eating dinner. Come, I have already prepared our meal while you were gone as well as turning off the rice cooker once finished. I hope it can ease your stress since I know it can be difficult maintaining a farm like this."

"Zhongli."

He blinks hard when the sound of his name falls out of your lips. Zhongli was an experienced observer and listener, he was able to catch the glimpse of frustration that dripped from the tone you used. Relaxing his poised shoulders, Zhongli carefully asked in a reserved manner, "Have I...done something to make you upset?"

A trembled breath escaped when you breathed out. Dense. He was so dense that sometimes it made you want to crack him open.

"Tell me..." you began, "Are you also like this with other women?"

The former god sets a brief sharp pause, "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm talking about the way you act, they're...giving me all these mixed signals. We've been living together for months, we even share meals together! And sometimes you would help me with the farm and when I didn't ask, you still insisted on tending to my needs when I felt sick. I just…” you trailed off, trembling ever so slightly, "It's all perfectly normal. You’re nice to everyone. I know that. I know that!"

"(Y/n)," Zhongli whispered. They sounded like a thousand needles to your heart.

"I doubt you have the intention to put me in this situation. You're a really great person Zhongli but I sometimes can't help feeling this isn't just some roommate thing you know?" closing your eyes, you thought of your past relationships, how they started and ended, "Do any of your actions mean anything to you? Do you know how it makes me feel? Or am I just overthinking this, that it was all one-sided this whole time?"

Alas the truth spills and the air stills, bringing the waves to a halt. Peace, tranquility, nothingness. That was all you wanted. That was all you heard. It was deafening.

"I see, so that's why," Zhongli mutters to himself with eyes narrowed, "There's...something I need to confess."

After several months, he tells you everything. How his memories returned, some of them were already intact. He told you about his homeland and his true identity, that he was a god that once ruled over Liyue for six centuries before giving away the gnosis.

The reason why he hadn't said anything until now was because there will be a day where Zhongli must depart and return to Teyvat. He was a god with a contract, the circumstance didn't matter, he must stay with it until the very end of time.

Through his years, Zhongli learned to cherish his finite moments. He didn't want to taint them with troubles to come. Thinking too far ahead into the future would only bring strain.

But what he didn't tell you was his true feelings. You were a sweet woman, tender and enthusiastic about agriculture, the way your feelings extend to the earth with grace whereas many others chose to trample over without hesitation, he fell deeply in love with that side of yours. You taught him many things and showed him many sides of humanity that he had never seen before. He even discovered an aspect of himself. Like breaking a geode, revealing the beauties held inside.

Zhongli couldn't look you in the eye when your expression was covered in disbelief. He thought he hid his feelings well but it seemed that he was expressing his love in subtle and subconscious ways that eventually drove you to fall for him as well. You didn't stop him when he left the bridge. He wasn't even in your house. He chose this, he chose to set you free from his heavy presence.

And as the weight started to lift from your shoulder, you sank to your knees and wept. It was cruel of him. To give you these emotions yet he could not bring himself to stay by your side. But your heart would not allow you to hate the man you love.

Things couldn't end this way. You had to say goodbye to him, see him one last time because if you didn't, these burdens will haunt you forever.

When Zhongli looked up to the sky he saw his ending drawing near.

Three days had passed since he last spoke with you and he had no plans in seeing you again. Soon, the former god will return to his rightful place. Even though he had already given his gnosis to the Cryo Archon as Liyue already began to enter a new era, it seems that his decisions weren't his to make as he was born in a world where stars ruled above the archons. Fate-- they won't allow it. He does not belong here. If there was one thing Zhongli regretted during his time in your world, it was that he couldn't leave you a good memory before taking his departure. The sight of your large glassy eyes and quivering lips when he crushed you with the truth, he sincerely believed that they would haunt him much more than it probably did to you. But perhaps things would be easier if you despised him. Because if he had stayed and you came to forgive him, he would no longer have the strength to let go.

Despite it all love was indeed a selfish creature. He couldn't help but feel resentment towards the stars for bringing you into his life in such a mockingly sweet manner. They tied him with a contract, made him vow to his own beliefs and tested them by using you-- a bystander struck between the crossfire, eventually bringing you down into the depths of his battlefield and he thought that maybe...maybe there was hope that he could bring you with him as well.

How disgraceful for a god to let the devil tempt him so.

Zhongli was thankful that you weren't beside him. Otherwise he would dance with the ugly hope of a slim chance for you to come along. This was the best choice. It was for his-- your own good.

"Zhongli!"

The arch of his lined eyes shot upwards. As if fate had decided to give him one final test, he felt your small figure crash into him from behind and your arms coming to hug around his waist, tightly and fearfully that he felt like you would be the one who would slip away instead.

"I...I made it time," you panted, burying your nose into his clothed back, "I’m so glad...I'm so glad you're still here…!"

Your cry of relief was a thunder to his ears, a reminder that he was the main cause. Zhongli, casted by solemn smile, lifts his hand to cover over yours and grasped onto them, I'm here, he wishes to say. Yet he knew they were only temporary promises, "To come all this way despite everything that has happened. You foolish girl..."

"It's your fault Zhongli, I'm a fool because I love you! It's all your fault that I have to say goodbye," You grit your teeth as the tears fell down your face until it blended into his clothes, "Take me with you. Please. Don't leave me all alone…!"

The words he wanted to say melted into a silent gasp through parted lips. Zhongli merely clenched them back together and his hand on your hand, even tighter. He won't lie to you. At the very least, let his actions speak for him where he himself could not.

Take me with you.

Don't leave me alone.

Goodbye.

If it is fated Morax...we will meet again.

"I see," letting his thoughts echo in his mind from the distant memories, the former god begins to take a new perspective upon his wisdom, "For many years, I have experienced countless farewells from the people I've come to known," Zhongli reminisced, tilting his head back with his golden eyes against night, as if searching for some sort of answer, "And yet I never thought what it must have felt like being in their position."

"Zhongli…" you trailed off, "Then don't! I may not know everything about you but it doesn't have to be this way. At least, just answer me this, will I ever see you again?"

"I'm sorry (Y/n)," he apologized and you knew the answer. He gently pries your arms off him, turning around so he could swipe the corner of your eyes dry. There was a glowing reverence in his countenance, one that he reserved for you and only you, it was the only way for him to express the feelings that run deep in his heart, "I cannot thank you enough for coming into my life. If there will be a day when I erode from your memories, I truly hope that you will find someone more suitable than I."

"That's ridiculous," defiantly, refusedly, you protest, "No one can replace you."

Zhongli laughs sadly as the white halo outlines his whole figure, signaling that there wasn't much time left. He wonders if there was anything he could do in his last moments, a small token, something, it could even be as small as a single star in the sky, "If it is fated...we will meet again."

You watch him turn transparent until he slipped from your grasp. No longer was the man, only the dust being one with the sky. They shone brilliantly but you were left in the darkness.

[m00nslippers]

In crushing au or any au what lantern do u think Jason would be? I personally would think Jason would be hope or love. if so how would the green lanterns or anyone would react to Jason being a lantern and him wearing a bad ass suit that combines his red hood gear with what ever lantern he is?

Okay now, I only knew sort of bare bones knowledge about the various corps, so I did some research…and I’ve come to a conclusion. You might say it plays into some misconceptions people tend to have about Jason, but I didn’t come by this decision lightly, I have real arguments. So how about I tell you why I think Jason wouldn’t be various lantern colors and then I’ll get to the ones I think are more likely. We aren’t counting white and black, because black is just death as in being dead, and white is a cop-out because it’s every color.

Orange Lantern: Greed. Jason is one of the least greedy characters there is. He’s selfless, he grew up poor, he does not have strong attachments to the material. He has been known to give up profit or money in various heroic efforts–he blew up weapons he could have sold for profit, used money to protect civilians, gave up profit to keep drug dealers under his territory from selling to children. He’s just not a greedy person. He wouldn’t be an orange lantern.

Yellow Lantern: Fear. While the Red Hood certainly inspires fear in many people, he doesn’t rely on it like Batman does (who was canonically a yellow ring bearer). In fact Jason’s entire agenda is that he believes there are those who are not inspired by fear to turn from their crimes and that such people need to be killed to protect their future victims. Also, Jason’s costume is not designed to make people afraid, it was mostly designed to be practical and to hide his identity from Bruce. So Jason being a Yellow Lantern isn’t very likely in my opinion.

Violet Lantern: Love. Now Jason is certainly a kind person who identifies with victims and wants to protect people, he’s a person who loves deeply. But the Violet Lanterns power does not seem to come from this broader understanding of love that includes filial or platonic or empathetic love. It seems to exclusively be about Romantic Love. And Jason? Putting aside that he’s a man and men don’t seem to be allowed to be a Violet Lantern for dumb reasons, he’s never had a real romantic relationship that lasted beyond a few dates. He does not seem to be especially interested in Romantic relationships in general and a lot of people even headcanon that he might be aro or ace because of his dearth of love interests. And even if he was in a relationship, it’s hard to imagine that he would be so overcome with emotion that he would put said relationship above everything else. That’s just not him. So no, I don’t think Jason would be a Violet Lantern either.

Blue Lantern: Hope. Those who are primarily chosen for this corps are not those who have a lot of hope, but are able to inspire people to fight. Now…Jason can and has done this. His Outlaws are a great example because everyone who has been on his team are there specifically to support him. They fight because and for Jason specifically, they aren’t there for prestige and some of them aren’t even there to be heroes or save people or do anything in particular, they just care about Jason and decide to support him. So Blue Lantern Jason…it’s viable. I think compared to someone like Dick, for example, he is not particularly good at this though, so I don’t think this is the lantern color for Jason.

Indigo Lantern: Compassion. Now at first I was like, oh it’s this one, it has to be. Jason is so compassionate, he identifies with victims so strongly that he feels the need to kill to prevent victims, so this has to be his ring color, right? Well…as it turns out, those who are chosen for this indigo tribe are those who actually lack compassion (sociopaths, basically). The ring seeks out people who have committed a great atrocity and causes them to feel remorse for their actions. If you already have compassion, it doesn’t work right, you can’t channel the Indigo light, it gets turned into some other emotion. Now Jason has certainly done things that some people think he should feel remorse about and which he does not, but… I think because those actions had justifiable reasoning behind them, even if some people might disagree, it would probably still make those not count. So, as for the emotion behind the ring color, totally Jason, but as the corps exist in the comics? Naw, he ain’t an Indigo lantern either.

Ultraviolet Lantern: Shame. This one I don’t know much about, it seems to feed off of negative emotion, specifically shame. Now Jason doesn’t have much shame. He generally believes even his more villainous actions to be justified. The only one of his actions he’s ever expressed much shame about was hurting Tim before he reconciled with the other bats, but Tim is okay so in the end it’s not much to be ashamed of, there wasn’t any lasting damage. Certainly if he ever changed him mind about killing then there would be a lot of shame to harness, but as of the canon we have? No, he’s not a person who feels much shame or remorse for his actions. So that being the case, I’m not convinced that Jason would make a very powerful Ultraviolet Lantern.

Green Lantern: Will. Now, green lanterns are those who seem to be able to overcome hardship and trials to accomplish their goals. They have a certain tenacity and practicality and ability to ignore fear. They also seem to be people who are imaginative/creative. Jason fits both of these criteria, he has gone against everything he was taught by Bruce, even given up the love of the man he considers his father, because he believed what he was doing was right and necessary. Jason does not give up, he keeps fighting, he doesn’t compromise on his beliefs, he doesn’t draw a line on how far he’s willing to go to protect people. He decides to do something and he doesn’t stop until it’s played out to it’s completion, he was beaten to death by the Joker and he still protected a women who betrayed him with his own body. He overcomes fear so completely that even in the face of hallucinations of his worst fears, he doesn’t break down, he overcomes. And we all know how damn dramatic Jason is, you think that comes out of thin air? He has imagination, he’s creative in his strategy. Jason could be a Green Lanten and he’d be a damn powerful one too.

Red Lantern: Anger. Red is the stereotypical choice for Jason when people try to assign him a lantern color because he’s ‘an angry person’. Now, contrary to what people tend to say and what Bruce and Dick themselves claim in the comics, Jason isn’t actually a very angry person. He rarely curses, doesn’t act recklessly out of anger, lose or use his temper on people who aren’t objectively evil or deserving of his ire except in a few instances that can be attributed to the Lazarus Pit’s influence or poor characterization…generally he acts very calm except for one, very specific subject–and that is Bruce refusing to avenge his death, and betraying his trust by (in his eyes) replacing him as if he didn’t matter. Jason is angry because he was wronged and damn is that anger powerful. Now this ties in perfectly with the type of people chosen by red lantern rings, who aren’t just angry people with tempers, but people with righteous anger, who have been subject to a loss or injustice. That describes Jason to a T. Furthermore, Red lanterns are basically immortal because their blood gets replaced with red lantern juice/power and coming back from the dead is Jason’s claim to fame. Also like…Red Hood? Red Lantern? Both red. It’s not my big argument, but that color wasn’t chosen because it had no association with Jason at all. He’s associated with red for a reason.

So, in conclusion, if I’m assigning Jason a lantern ring, he’s going to be either a green or red lantern, more probably a red lantern and Atrocitus better pray Jason never gets a red ring because he’d have that guy out on his ass in ten seconds flat, and anyone who got in his way would be fucked. I think his red hood gear would pair great with the Red Lantern uniform. I just imagine his black boots with bright red soles.

[marshmallowgoop]

Goop Plays Kill la Kill the Game: IF (Satsuki Episodes 5-8)

Oh my goodness.

Episode 5

So, this episode starts off with that haunting line featured in the recent Anime Expo story trailer:

Ragyo: All of this is because of you, Satsuki. Because of who you are.

I guess Ragyo’s saying that Shinra-Kouketsu came into fruition because Satsuki couldn’t prevent this outcome, no matter her efforts, but I gotta say that I was expecting something a lot more sinister. But that’s just trailer magic for you, I suppose, lol.

And I know I said in my last write-up that I really enjoyed interacting with the story, but okay, I get what some reviews were referring to now. Fighting the COVERS felt extremely tedious.

Satsuki: Ugh, this is endless!

Same, Satsuki, same.

Though, to be fair, I don’t know if it’s the Steam port or my computer or what, but part of the reason playing through this segment felt so bad is because it ran so badly. It was slow and glitchy and an utter pain.

Still, I will say that fighting the COVERS with the Elite Four was a bit of a better experience purely because of the cute introductions when each of them joined Satsuki in battle. I particularly loved Nonon and Satsuki’s exchange:

Nonon: Nonon here, at your service!

Satsuki: I’m counting on you, Nonon. Stay sharp out there.

I mean, aw??? Satsuki saying she’s counting on someone? My heart. And that’s not even mentioning that she uses Nonon’s first name.

It’s a real shame that there are no subtitles for these bits. Those playing in Japanese who don’t understand the language will totally miss all of these moments.

But then again, the achievement for the battle is “Unspoken Understanding,” so these words aren’t really necessary. 

They’re so cute, though!

Anyway, on the subject of the Elite Four, my question about their Goku Uniforms gets quickly answered here:

Satsuki: Your Goku uniforms!

Houka: Iori patched them up fast, m’Lady. Nothing compares to his skill with a needle and thread.

And LOL, okay, Shiro can just sew four complicated outfits in like five minutes. Life Fibers: ain’t gotta explain shit.

(To be real, though, I’m honestly not bugged. Details like this just amuse me. And I really like that Houka says this line.)

But what the heck is Shiro referring to here???

Shiro: There’s just one thing that bothers me...

Satsuki: What?

Shiro: It can wait. I’ll come talk to you after the fight’s over.

As of episode 8, I don’t think this talk has occurred? Or did I miss it or something?? What bothered Shiro??? I don’t really have an idea!

Episode 6

It kinda cracked me up that Shinra-Kouketsu didn’t seem to be that far from complete. Nui, what the heck were you doing in the anime? It seems you could have finished that thing in a way more timely manner.

Nui: Awww, Satsuki! You’re too late. I just finished!

But on a more serious note, seeing Satsuki lose control and become Mind Stitched is heartbreaking. I knew at about this point that I was getting close to the end of the story, but gosh, I want so much more. I want to know how Satsuki feels. I want to know more about her history and what she’s done up to this point. Seeing so much go unexplored leaves me aching.

Still, I know I’m lucky to get any Kill la Kill at all after all these years....

Poor Satsuki, though... She’s had to fight all these battles, and then this happens....

But I will say... one thing I actually don’t think I want to know is what Nui ended up doing....

Nui: Okay! I’ll just stay here and mess around then!

Episode 7

Now, episode 7 is the absolute cutest.

Ryuko: Finally. Thought you’d never wake up.

I want ten hours just of the characters being cute like this. They don’t even have to like, do anything. They can just sit around and talk. This is my jam.

Back when the show was first airing, I remember so many people wanting Ryuko to save Satsuki after the Festival. This episode is the perfect embodiment of that dream. And it’s honestly better than I even expected. They are precious.

Ryuko: Can you move?

Satsuki: No. That’s not good.

Goodness, Satsuki, you are such a dork I love you.

Buuuut. Uh. I have so many questions.

How much time has passed? Have the Elite Four been awake a while? Were they talking to Ryuko about Satsuki for a long time (and can I please, please see this in Ryuko’s story?)

And, most notably, how the heck is Senketsu back together again?! Maybe I misunderstood what happened before, but didn’t Ragyo take one of Senketsu’s pieces? How can Senketsu Synchronize with Ryuko without that piece?? What did Ragyo want to do with that piece, anyway? What is going on.

As cute as everything is, it’s also a bit soured for me when it’s revealed that Ryuko was convinced she’d killed Nui.

Ryuko: I thought I killed you!

Just recently, I actually got into a whole discussion on the subject. Apparently, in the Grand Summoners mobile game that had a crossover with Kill la Kill about a year ago, Ryuko states that she’s perfectly willing to kill others without remorse.

And, uh.

Okay, was anybody going to tell me that the Grand Summoners/Kill la Kill crossover had a story, or was I just supposed to read that in a discussion about whether Ryuko would like Shadow the Hedgehog or not myself?

But anyway, I figured that Ryuko would say something like that purely to sound tough. I’ve always viewed her as a sweet who wouldn’t truly want to kill anybody, even Nui (which is why she ultimately doesn’t kill Nui in the anime).

Perhaps I’ve just interpreted her character all wrong, and maybe it’s unfair of me to expect too much depth from a 3.5-hour story in a tie-in anime fighter game, but if Nui is the first person Ryuko’s “killed,” I just... expect more of a reaction. Even killing someone you hate must make you feel something if it’s the first time you’ve done such a thing. Ed killing Greed in the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist anime is a brilliantly powerful example of that, and Ryuko is a remarkably sensitive person when it comes to how she impacts others—her reaction after going berserk in episode 13 is a testament to that.

Of course, I haven’t seen Ryuko’s side of things. Maybe she does freak out after she’s done the deed. But I don’t know. From what I understand about Ryuko—going easy on Mataro’s gang, helping Maiko despite trying to be tough and saying that it’s everyone for themselves, hardly even being able to function after losing control and hurting the people she loves, putting all her doubts aside to “save” Nagita—it’s hard for me to believe that she’d be so unaffected by killing someone, especially in retrospect. 

I mean, heck, she doesn’t even kill Nui in this episode despite saying that she will and honestly having the opportunity to!

Ryuko: I don’t care how many-a-you there are! I’ll kill you all!

And it’s even weirder to me that Senketsu would be okay with this! He’s the one who says in the preview for episode 18 that “to kill as you please with a smile on your face is evil.” Why would he help Ryuko murder for revenge?

It’s Not That Deep, Goop, I know. But it irks me.

Still, I can (obviously) appreciate the charm of this short story. Nui’s little cloth dolls are adorable, for example.

Episode 8

And getting into episode 8, I love that Ryuko didn’t even understand what she was doing when she cut off Nui’s arms, but she acted so sure of herself anyway, like she totally knew that’d work out.

Shiro: But if you cut those Fibers from both sides simultaneously, they can can’t regenerate.

Ryuko: Ohhh, so that’s what happened with Nui’s arms.

And oh lordy, they are precious.

Nonon: Jeez, Satsuki. Don’t bow down to the new girl! What’ll people think?

But at the same time, we’re missing so much of the power of the anime here. When Satsuki bows down to Ryuko in the anime, it’s so meaningful because she understands that she messed up. She shouldn’t have used her own sister as a tool and a weapon. She went too far. This is cute, but it feels undeserved.

Carrie Keranen, Satsuki’s English voice actress, said in a recent ArcLive that the Satsuki’s apology on the Naked Sol was her favorite scene to voice. She talked about how Satsuki felt she was doing the right thing but realized that she didn’t have to go to the lengths she did. I was so hoping for the game to delve into that realization more, and there is still a tiny bit of time for it to do so, yes, but it was kinda sad to see the bow here before that.

I’m also kinda confused about what’s going on. What is Uzu talking about here?

Uzu: Yeah and besides, Matoi here was saved ‘cuz of you. She should be the one doin’ the thanking.

How exactly did Satsuki save Ryuko? She, uh, kinda tore up Senketsu.....

On a completely different note, I’ve noticed in the past that the localization is kinda wonky, and you definitely feel that in this episode. Ryuko says that she has the Rending Scissors, but then the subtitles call them “Snippity-Snips,” lol.

And more complaints about Ryuko, but I’m not sure I dig her being characterized kinda like a dimwit. “Primordial” isn’t that difficult a word, c’mon.

Ryuko: Wait... Prime-oatmeal?

Maybe it makes more sense in Japanese. Or Ryuko’s just really hungry.

I did appreciate this line, though:

Ryuko: I ain’t here to make friends with you all.

Oh, Ryuko.

But can’t say I appreciated this one:

Ryuko: I’m gonna kill that loli bitch!

Can we just... not with that word, please.

I loved the ending, though. Satsuki, you are such a sweet, oh my goodness.

Satsuki: That said, I’d like the four of you to go after her. Protect her, if necessary.

Awww! She really does care.

And the fact that she prioritizes her students?

Satsuki: I’ll make sure all students are freed from the COVERS and once I’ve arranged for their rescue, I will join you.

Satsuki a sweet, okay. Satsuki is good.

Gallery

Aight, I know this is really long already, but I gotta say that I really appreciate that Ryuko and Senketsu share a place in the Voice Library... even if their names don’t show up together there....

I’m also super curious about those bonus voice lines, but I feel like it’d be cheating to buy them now, and there are probably spoilers in them, too... and I’m broke in this game, lol.... But very excited for it!

And I’ve said it before, but can we just appreciate all the love put into this game some more? Look at all those voice lines! 146 for Ryuko and Senketsu alone. And all characters seem to have at least around 70 lines. I’m fearful about how this story will end, but goodness, the dedication put into this game will never stop being charming.

One more thing... when I started up the game again, Mako was narrating instead of Senketsu! I looked at these voice lines and realized that everyone can be the narrator, but I wasn’t sure how you trigger it to change. Learned today that it depends on the buttons you press during the introduction!

Again love all the effort put into this game.

In sum, I’m not sure how this thing’ll end, and I am nervous, but there’s a lot of charm here, even if I wish there was more. It’s hard to stop playing and write these posts, but I also feel like I gotta let this stuff sink in a bit! I don’t want to break my mind by going through way too much Kill la Kill content at once!

[absoluterpmemetrash]

below are 200+ quotes taken from FromSoftware’s 2016 video game release DARK SOULS III. feel free to change pronouns as necessary.

“The next time we cross paths, one may find the other in a time of need.”

“He's not very talkative. But don't think ill of him.”

“Without his help, I would have cursed this onerous duty long ago.

“What's happened to you?"

"Please, stop this!"

“It pains me to leave you.”

“Forgive me... I was weak on my own..."

“Don't leave me, not you... Not like the others...”

“I am well pleased to see you safe.”

“To my shame, I was snared by a trap, and we've become separated.”

“He's probably searching for me right now, with twice the resolve.”

“Please send him my word. I beg of you.”

“Have you abandoned me?”

“Thank you, we are both in your debt.”

“Please, take this. Recompense for my foolish request. And also a token of protection.”

“Please. Lend me your strength.”

“I owe this to you. Thank you. Truly.”

“Well, a newcomer I see.”

“Prithee, be careful. I don't want to see my work squandered!”

“In battle, your weapons are your only friends. Forge them well, and they won't let you down.”

“Oh, please, don't give me that look. Believe it or not, I'm quite thin-skinned.”

“Hardly a surprise is it? I've never been one for books or wise men."

“A cursed fate this may be, but hope remains, does it not?"

“It's but a small service, to pay my humble respects."

“I may serve, but I'm no slave.”

“Name thyself, stranger.”

“What beckoned thee to such a place?"

“I will grant thee purpose.”

“If I can provide thee succour, only tell me how.”

“Heridom taketh many forms, indeed.”

“Art thou a creature of the air, or other winged thing?"

“Oh, my! I imagined it might be so.”

“Then thou'rt a dragon, or perhaps a crow?”

“Well, whatever thou beest, thou'rt wondrous strange, yet strangely familiar, visitor."

"I'm ashamed to say, I know not much of anything…"

“Oh where could my dear brother be?”

“But here we are, an encounter for the ages!”

“A chance encounter should not be squandered.”

“I will not rush you. You will return, once you are enlightened.”

“Fear the fire.”

“Well, well... I've never seen anything like this.”

“Brilliant. I will never curse being old and Undead again.”

“Now, now, show it here, quickly. Let us channel them together.”

“If only I were a woman.”

“I'm afraid I cannot accept this.”

“I cannot comprehend this myself, let alone teach it to you.”

“Only one terribly afflicted, or burdened by deep sorrow, could begin to understand this.”

“When a pupil strays from the path, the master must intrude.”

“Spare the rod and spoil the child.”

“Little bird, what's to be gained?”

“Hmm, well, there's nothing forlorn about you.”

“Make the tales true, and burn this world away.”

“Surely you've seen the rot that afflicts this world.”

“When the world rots, we set it afire. For the sake of the next world.”

“Allow me to speak frankly.”

“This farewell gift is for you.”

“Is this not the calling of your kind, since ages past?"

“Please save his soul." 

“If you’ve any sense, you’ll go find a coffin to huddle up inside.” 

“You’ll face death, and it won’t be pretty.”

“You like poking around in cells, do you? How very genteel!"

“Ah-hah, taken an interest in her, have you?”

“How very quaint, pitying creatures that are beyond help.” 

“I am allied to you as long as you assure the girl's safety.”

“I just dropped in to see how she's getting on.”

“Even a broken woman deserves her dignity…"

“I tend to the flame, and tend to thee.”

“Then touch the darkness inside me.”

“Take nourishment from these sovereignless souls."

“Speak thine heart's desire.”

“Bring me souls, plucked from their vessels.” 

“I sense that he possesseth some knowledge.”

“Know'st thou not? I cannot die. “

“These will reveal, through a sliver of light, frightful images of betrayal.”

“Please, kill me, and take these eyes away.”

“I serve thee, and will do as thou bid'st. “

“This will be our private affair. No one else may know of this.”

“But one day, tiny flames will dance across the darkness.”

“I am not asking for charity.”

“I may be a petty thief, but I've more wits than most royalty.”

“I humbly place my faith in you.” 

“Do your part, and I’ll do mine.”

“As they say, "The cornered rat will lick the balls of a cat."”

“Cold piss, what the devil is it now?”

“Forgive me, dear.”

“Whatever trinket you need, speak up. Just don't ask me where I got them.”

“Do me a favour, and don't forget our promise.”

“You can keep the ring. As, well, a little trinket of thanks, I suppose.”

“En garde, you crusty ash bastard!”

“Everyone's dead or hollowed away anyway, right, so… I might as well fetch some weapons or treasure for you.”

“I'm ready to go thieving at a moment's notice.”

“If the tales are true, it is home to old moon-worshiping nobles, and should be packed with treasure.”

“Not a single man has returned from the castle unscathed, even back in the day.”

“I consider myself your friend.”

“I lived a petty rat, but would rather not die as one.”

“Thank you, for placing your trust in me.”

“Can't even die right. Gives me conniptions.”

“We're not fit to lick their boots.”

“The poor wretched souls… Be they lord or legend, the curse shows no mercy.”

“You should see where it leads. ...If you've the stones for it."

“I'm a deserter, I know. But I've still plenty of fight in me.”

“We'll never amount to anything, not you, not I…"

“You crawled out of the ground, for gods' sake..."

“Go on, be as bloody mad as you like."

“It's important to know who you are.

“No, no, of course you're not. That's what you mad fools always say.”

“The shackles of the Gods are fragile.”

"Oh well, another addition to the family."

"Right, onto the pile with you. You're family now..."

“The dark surrounds me, nibbles at my flesh.”

“So please, hold out your hand, and touch me..."

“Ahh, yes, there you are, so close indeed. Then I am not entirely alone, just yet.”

“If it would not trouble you, might I enter into your service, instead?"

“I thank you deeply. For your touch. I will never forget it, not ever."

“Don't worry about me. I've long dealt in dark. It is my calling."

“The gods are ever-merciful. My gratitude lies with them, and with you.”

“I am yours now. Your wish is my command."

“I would be pleased to share the tales of miracles with you.”

“These are dark tales that lurk deep within men... These stories would not please you...”

“Ahh, ahh, sweet Champion. Where have you been? Please, your touch…

touch me, one last time.”

“And kill me, as you promised you would."

“Unknowing visitor, return from whence thou camest.”

“By the King's decree. None may disturb our mistress's slumber.”

"I thought you'd all but forgotten me. How sweet."

"Good to know that a skinny little heretic can still turn heads."

"Accept my apologies, for mistaking you for one of those leeches."

"This is a land of monstrosities. And I am no exception."

"Is that something you can forgive?"

"The only thing that might interest you is my sorcery."

"You're a wicked one, aren't you?"

"Some may avert their eyes, but the truth remains the truth."

"Let it be a secret, kept between you and I..."

"There is a darkness within man, and I am afraid you will peer into it."

“Don't torture me so."

“I know, I know. I owe my life to you.”

“Today's lost are conquerors tomorrow.”

“Oh, look at you, you've got your head screwed on correct.”

“I have a feeling we're going to make a fabulous team. Oh, you'll see, you'll see!”

“Yes, I try to play it off, but i haven't a clue about my past. Who I was , or what I lived for. Not even my own blessed name.”

“I know who you are, a righteous warrior, yes, with a solemn duty to boot?”

“Ohh, look at you, you found the treasure!”

“I've got the last of my brew. Let's have our own little toast with it.”

“To my search, and to your duty. And to the joy that lies before us.”

“I know you'd never lie to me.”

“It won't be long now, before I know everything. Who I was, what I lived for, and what my name was. And I'll have you to thank for it all.”

“I swear upon my birth name that I am your friend. No matter what might come out, no matter what I was.”

“If you would do me the honour, allow me to be a true friend, always.”

“Every age, it seems, is tainted by the greed of men.”

“What's wrong, friend?

“Stop it! Oh, please!”

“I'm unbreakable! You can't crack me! I'll rot yer flesh!”

"I can see it in your eyes. If you didn't invade, didn't pillage, whatever would you do?"

"Can you even hear me? If you can, cease this at once.”

“Felt sorry for the poor thing, in all her festering glory?”

“I sowed the seeds. I'll prune the mess.”

“Fear not, the dark, my friend. And let the feast begin.”

“The world began without knowledge, and without knowledge will it end.”

“Well, this is unexpected. I don't often have visitors.”

“If you haven't any business, I've reading to get back to."

“Indeed, I am a sorcerer. With plenty to share.”

“We will learn together, it shall be like our very own school."

“...Oh you could at least act as if you are paying attention!"

“In exchange for my sorceries, you are to bring me knowledge.”

“I hope you're not one to break a promise."

“It is folly to claim lives recklessly, friend. Do not be tempted.”

“Go on. If I'm giving something away, you'd better well take it."

“With this, you can be sure to tell friend from foe from your very first encounter.”

“All of these sorceries, and you've mastered every one.”

“It's been nice running our own little school."

“I believe...I feel the scent of ash upon thee.”

“Please tell me thy name. I would name this painting after thee.”

“Your spouse awaits you, you are very near.”

"Dost thou the gods serve? Or merely that role affect?"

"Yes, yes, of course. How wouldst one such as thee do service to the gods?"

“Speak thee the name of God. Thine own god, if thou canst recall.”

“Thou'st a kind heart to speak to a captive such as I.”

“I am honoured to have met thee.”

“At once, I am the honour of the gods, the glory of fire, and the fear of the dark.”

“Is it not our sorry fate, to sup on death?"

“A lost lamb wandereth in, with nary a peep from the bell.”

“I, too, am bound by duty, but can offer you my sign.”

“I would not have made it alone. You have my deepest gratitude."

“May I take a vow? To serve you, as a knight."

“I, [Name], do hereby serve as your faithful knight. Wherever, whenever, I am needed, and even if all should turn against you… My loyalty shall never waver.”

“If we meet again, it will be as adversaries.”

“You've the same scent as that woman...”

“I've nothing for you, not a smithereen. I just like to stand here, and take in the view.”

“Why, where did you hear that name, love?”

“You're not willing to reconsider, are you?”

“It's a rare thing, to have a true duty.”

“Don't run off and die, love. It's a nicer view with you in it.”

“...My time has come, has it? Well, maybe I'll get to see an angel.”

“Well, say hello to the nice giant! He adores visitors."

“What! Where's the bloody giant?”

“Oh, I am sorry. That was my hand, as you know, but the deed, well, that was the armour's doing.”

“Be more careful! By the gods, curiosity is going to kill you kittens.”

"Have no fear, there's beauty in death.”

“I'll come clean, I did you wrong. I didn't mean it, though, not one bit.”

“You get these... urges... running the business and all... Oh, and I hate myself for it, I do.”

“Oh, for heaven's sake, no need to jest with a face like that.”

“Please, grant me death, Undo my shackles."

“To be in your presence is a great honour.”

“I will remain in this spot. Praying solemnly that you might have a change of heart.”

“Good tidings. Thy spouse is ready. The time is ripe to greet him/her.”

“I presume thy holy vows are sworn?”

“Fret not, fret not. My feet are here firmly planted.”

“I may be but small, but I will die a colossus."

“The eyes show a world destitute of fire, a barren plane of endless darkness. A place born of betrayal.”

“Choose thy fate alone. Seize it with thine own hands.”

“Please, help me. Be done with me... No, gods, no, I cannot bear it... It burns, burns, help me..."

“Oh, dear, another dogged contender.”

“You've done quite enough, now have your rest.”

“Rise, if you would... For that is our curse.”

“You remain among the Accursed.”

“This spot marks our grave, but you may rest here too, if you would like...”

“Ahh, you ignorant slaves. Finally taken notice have you?”

“Where have you gone? Are you hiding from me?”

“Come out, come out, don't be afraid.”

“You were born a child of dragons, what could you possibly fear?”

“I see flame. Flame, flickering, once again.”

“Not enough blood yet shed.”

“Please avert thine eyes. I will snuff out these ashes for good.”

“Return from whence thou cam'st, for that is thy place of belonging.”

[wazafam]

In the DC Extended Universe, the gods have a lot to do with the powerful artifacts bequeathed to heroes and villains alike. Wonder Woman 1984 showcases such an object: a stone forged by an Old God that gets into the wrong hands. There are other such treasures and weapons scattered throughout the universe. From its inception, the DCEU has showcased a number of them throughout the movies.

Wonder Woman is in possession of a great many gifts from the gods, but she is not alone. The films have introduced a few magical objects that were actually made by gods in an effort to imbue their champions with strength and fortitude. Each item is born by someone worthy enough to use its powers for good. This is the purpose behind the creation of each piece of equipment. When such items get into the hands of a greedy or power-hungry individual, however, they can have devastating consequences.

Related: What The DCEU Can Do After Wonder Woman 1984's Divisive Release

The artifacts created by the gods are boons to the heroes of the Justice League and those who aid the cause of righteousness. The films explore the power these objects deliver to their owners and those who would take advantage of the gifts of the Old Gods. Here is a breakdown of the tools created by the hands and materials of the gods. (Note: It should be noted here that, as with many items and characters in comic books, the origins of these objects have been retconned numerous times.)

Forged from the girdle of the Earth goddess Gaea, the Lasso of Truth is a creation of Hephaestus, the god of fire, smithing, and metallurgy. It is a weapon made to be indestructible and immutable, withstanding any battle. It can alter in length depending on the wielder's purpose. It has many powers, including the power to cast hypnosis, dispel illusions, restore repressed memories, and shield those in its circle from supernatural attacks. Its main capability, due to being imbued by the fires of Hestia, is to compel anyone held in its grasp to utter only the truth. This power is volatile, as it forces one to face the truth of their violent deeds.

In the wrong hands, the Lasso is great and terrible. Under the control of the villain Genocide, the weapon was used to attack the souls of her victims, bringing even powerful opponents to their knees. The tool has frightening potential, and it is necessary that one pure of heart be in control of its force. The tool, also dubbed the Golden Perfect, the lasso is Wonder Woman's primary weapon, and with her strength and speed, it can be used as both a defensive and offensive weapon, which fits her pacifist yet powerful fighting style.

Worn by all the Amazons of Themyscira, the Bracelets of Submission are indestructible silver cuffs that symbolize years of bondage under the rule of the tyrannical Hercules. The bracelets protect against blasts, small missiles, and gunfire, serving as the main method of defense for every Amazon woman starting at age fifteen. When the Amazons reach that age, they pledge themselves in service to the goddess Aphrodite and are gifted the cuffs.

Related: Wonder Woman Becomes The DCEU's Superman AND Batman In 1984

Hephaestus modified the cuffs given to Diana, reinforcing them with Eighth Metal, a metal favored by the gods. The original cuffs were made from the metal of Athena's Olympian Aegis shield, not only protecting against bullets, but serving as a way to harness an Amazon's power, building up a massive strength boost when they are released.

The God Killer, a creation of Hephaestus, was first offered to Deathstroke in order to assassinate an enemy of the Olympians, a mad Titan named Lapetus. The sharp and durable blade has also been seen in the wrong hands, both in the clutches of Grail, daughter of the New God Darkseid, in an attempt to usurp the throne from Hippolyta, and in the possession of Cheetah, Wonder Woman's foe. It is a powerful weapon, one that Diana is not sure she wants to wield. She retrieves the weapon from a tower in Themyscira, believing it to be the only thing powerful enough to destroy Ares, the God of War. Diana utilizes the sword on the battlefield as well as to dispatch General Ludendorff when she believes him to be Ares.

Ultimately, the real Ares reveals to Diana that the sword itself is not the God Killer, but that Diana is. Ares destroys the sword before Diana defeats him. The sword's remains have not been mentioned again in the DCEU. In Justice League, Diana has a new sword: the Sword of Athena. The weapon was created and wielded by the Olympian goddess of wisdom, crafts, and strategy, and it is gained by Diana sometime after World War I. Like its predecessor, the sword is extremely sharp and durable, even managing to slice off Doomsday's right arm. Diana is worthy of wielding the artifact, which has inscribed on the blade in Greek, "Life is killing life all the time, and so the goddess kills herself in sacrifice of her own animal."

Also called the Talaria, the Sandals of Hermes are magical footwear that grants the wearer flight and enhanced speed. Though Wonder Woman has been in possession of these sandals on many occasions, she also gifts them to her allies in order to allow them access to those gifts. Wonder Woman has used the sandals to cross over the mystical field that separates Paradise Island from Man's World when she is needed or called upon. The Air of Chaos that acts as a barrier between the two realms is dangerous, but the sandals allow her to pass through it safely.

Related: Why Doesn't Wonder Woman Fly In BvS Or Justice League?

In different times through Wonder Woman's history, the sandals have been loaned out. During her time as Wonder Woman, Artemis wore the sandals. Diana's mother Hippolyta utilized them in her battle against Imperiex Probes. Teen Titan Cassandra Sandsmark used them for a short time after meeting Diana. An Amazon named Pythia stole them from Diana in an effort to find Harvard professor Julia Kapatelis. The sandals represent one of the many reasons that Wonder Woman is a worthy hero: she shares her power instead of hoarding it.

There are many stories of who created the Dreamstone, or Materioptikon. It is said to have been crafted by Dream of the Endless, also known as the Dream Ruby. Into the Dreamstone, Dream poured his essence, making it the most powerful of the twelve stones he created. In another version showcased in Wonder Woman 1984, the stone is created by an Old God named the Duke of Deception in order to incite chaos and misrule in the world. Touching the stone and speaking one's true wish would grant the deepest desires of humanity, but at a cost. Like the proverbial monkey's paw, the stone is not to be used lightly.

In the year 1984, the stone resurfaces at the Smithsonian Institute where Diana is working. It is being analyzed by geologist Barbara Minerva, but it is stolen by con artist Maxwell Lord, who has searched for the legendary stone for decades. He wishes to become the stone himself, gaining its wish-granting power as it drains him of health and energy. The Dreamstone wreaks havoc on the world, causing erratic, violent behavior in ordinary people, increasing murders and even plane crashes. As mayhem increases, Wonder Woman fears the power of wishing, and knows all the wishes must be undone. She forces Max to face the truth of his shortcomings, making him realize what truly matters to him and what his greed has done to the world.

It is not only tools and weapons created by the gods in an effort to aid their heroes, but entire places as well. Zeus created the isolated island in the Mediterranean Sea in order to protect his beloved creation the Amazons after their race was threatened by gods like Ares. The city-state is reminiscent of ancient Greece in architecture and climate, and it is protected by magical barriers that conceal it from the outside world.

Related: Wonder Woman 1984: Every Plot Hole Created By Steve Trevor's Return

For centuries after Zeus's creation of Paradise Island, the civilization of the Amazons flourished under the peaceful reign of Hippolyta, the mother of Diana. She knew that Ares would one day return, and so the warriors trained in the art of combat, surpassing the skills of men. The island remained undisturbed until 1918 when a pilot named Steve Trevor crash-landed off the coast and was rescued by Wonder Woman. Unfortunately, the German Navy was able to track Steve to Themyscira, bringing conflict and death to the immortal Amazons once more.

It's not only Wonder Woman who is gifted the power of the gods. Aquaman's DCEU movie finds the source of his power in the Trident of Atlan, the king who founded Atlantis. The trident was forged from the steel of Poseidon in the Kingdom of the Deserters, giving King Atlan mastery over the Seven Seas. The trident was used by Atlan for many purposes, including imprisoning the Karathen, a giant sea creature so powerful that even the king feared her. Atlan became too over-reaching with his use of the trident, and, during an experiment gone awry, the force of the trident released a great wave of energy that sunk Atlantis to the bottom of the ocean. Atlan felt palpable shame after the fall of Atlantis, exiling himself to the same abyss, the Hidden Sea, wherein he put the Karathen, admonishing her to protect the trident from all but the rightful heir to his throne.

When his mother's trident is destroyed, Arthur Curry makes a voyage to the Hidden Sea in order to retrieve the god's weapon and retake his rightful place as King of Atlantis. He proves himself worthy to the Karathen and the uses the trident to unite all creatures in the ocean. With the power of the Sacred Trident in his possession, Aquaman is able to defeat the armies of his enemies and become the hero of the waters both in the comics and in the DC Extended Universe.

More: Wonder Woman 1984 Theory: Asteria Is Also A Daughter Of The Gods

Wonder Woman: Everything Created By The Gods In The DCEU from https://ift.tt/3c2ozJp

[emersonmanandnature]

September 4, 2019

We The People of What?

sitting in their gowns of excess with their diamond rings and necklaces covered with jewels twinkling under the bright chandeliers reflecting the startling greed of wealth, as these women sip their champagne and the men in their tuxedos look out at what they have accomplished and take pride in the destruction of lives for profit, can’t you hear their laughter and toasts at the fundraiser for our next dunce for president, as they sit in their 400,000 dollar a plate seats waiting for the candidates to parade by with their promises they say they can accomplish but not as quick as voodoo reaganomics, back stabbing the american people right out of gate, beginning their steep steady decline in their way of life, yes, this is a shameful thing but necessary, for what these powerful, wealthy men and women do for this brave country, buying our government as you would an older manufacturing plant, using it and then taking all the money out of the business and move it to off shore accounts and then declare bankruptcy so the workers get pennies on the dollar, that is just good business practices but you see we are doing the citizens of our country a good deed, someone has to take the reins of power and move this nation into a new future of poverty and despair for our private gain where

the people fight amongst themselves and the rich sit and get served as we are now, because the economic system always favors power over intelligence, look someone has to stand up and be firm for the rich swindlers and dealers of illusions who stand in the background in dark suits barely visible even in daylight as they steal millions each hour of each day, kind of nice to think about that especially at the fundraisers we attend listening to the republican and democratic candidates brown nosing us with they're salivating, drooling mouths with a high expectations of power and opulence which they will receive if they make laws that benefit us and only us that makes them delirious for all their shifty plans for our benefit, if we just give them a chance to profit from their sordid corruption as they destroy the last remaining facade of democracy, what we now call fake america for the people and by the people of greed, pretty funny don’t you think and what’s even better is the loot we steal, that is a funny word isn’t it, loot, we could use robbery, stealing, murder and mayhem but that would be too obvious and nowadays telling the truth can get you in prison, oh not those kind of horrible places we read about, yuck, but more of a resort with luxurious dinners and entertainment, the young wealth of extravagance think this power over society was their creation but they inherited it from daddy and mommy, so they have to prove they are the new gods of greed,

praise the lord for he sits quiet as his faithful servants become critical of themselves, oh if they only new how much we love them, those little people, they pay so much for our lifestyle and are so entertaining with the stupid things they do to survive, so lets get back to the fundraiser, you sir, you want to immerse yourself in the hypocrisy of the cliche politician’s life, doing your very best to be elected so you will get paid sleazy money under the table, I’m sorry we have upgraded our payment system from the old days now we just deposit the cash in your off shore account in the cayman islands, money is the impetus to do the bidding of the controlling forces of greed in this wonderful country of deceit and crime, however it is losing its natural beauty thanks to us, the industrial giants of pollution, praise the lord for his forgiving nature, ha ha, pretty good joke I must say, this good old U S of Accumulated Wealth, ok enough just give us your scam, whoops just the facts of your ability to make us richer, each day it seems more is being taken from the american people, and why not, they sit idly by praying for something to happen, some kind of change as if the master of us all will get his hands dirty in this crazy politics of economic ruin, the very foundations we based our lives on, love, respect, honor and charity evaporating, hallelujah, god be praised, lets worship the new gods, rejoice in our

ability to work behind the curtain of life anonymously just like the original old man that used to live upstairs but he got tired of listening to the bickering back and forth on such mediocre subjects as, gee look at me, I bought a ferrari 488 that goes from 0 to 60mph in 3 seconds, try and beat that, whoopee the cult of egos immersed in their own personalities of fraudulent behavior, called stupidity, so your savior left this part of the universe and put this planet up for sale for any sucker stupid enough to buy this speck of dust traveling in space toward absolute disintegration and so here they are the industrial giants of sleaze writing out a check of good faith for this lonely planet without any catch 22’s boohoo, just being our natural obnoxious selves in loving criminality, oh no I meant our open communities of love and grace, I’m sorry again, of course our gated hamlet with maximum security, special forces protecting our special lives, we enjoy the suffering of the little people, it keeps them in their place, more easily controlled in one corral of poverty and fear, where is this place we are going to, oh yay, hell on earth we ain’t having to go far to get our ass fried, look at us, stop and think for once, broken dreams and people filing for bankruptcy each year because they can’t pay their medical bills, house payments, college bills, oh no how terrible, god bless this country of wealthy manipulators that sit in congress and due the dirty business while are hands are clean and we have deniability,

we can’t save everyone or anyone, why would we, that could deplete the coffers we hide all over this world, a hide and seek game with people’s lives at stake, but we must exploit and destroy all that stand in our way, for we are the omnipotent devilish, sweaty handed brow furled maniacs of selfish ego’s, can I get a high 5 on that my brother, until we get the last ounce of money from all inhabitants of this planet, it is hard work to sit and punch a few numbers into our computers and voila another 6 million in the kitty, we want to know in all our sleazy dealings, what are you going to do to break through the barrier of money and power that now rule this frightened world barreling through space to its eventual doom from pollution and insanity, will you as a candidate for the big job of being a pawn of the wealthy, like a dog on a leash, one of many indentured servants voted into office with our money back guarantee and they know they owe their campaign to our almighty dollar, lets all kneel now and bend our heads in prayer to our holy institutions of manipulation, god bless and praise the rich, we understand your confusion when we asked if you would begin the dismantling of the banks and the imprisonment of the oligarchs that have taken over russia, china and the united states with their shady dealings, no! that is the correct answer of course you wouldn’t, that was a trick question and you passed but the other countries have to go through a tryout before their criminal elite can be permanently placed in power for the dons of greed do need

reimbursement for their campaign financing of our scripted show, what we call puppets in office that we have placed in strategic states, it is nice to know that you politicians are our new force of pompous conceit that sold your country down the drain for a price is right show of gluttony, what a joke, this usa being run by criminals and ass kissers, want is the mantra of all crooks, it doesn’t matter what it is, they want it, it has to be taken by any means necessary, by exploiting the power of money they believe they are above the law and can do anything they want on islands with underaged girls as high society mucks fly in for a rousing game of rape the children, an absolute disgust for these creatures that have no moral standards and no feelings of what empathy is, they are the new breed of wealth, a noxious intellect made up of a personality that has been evolving through the early 20th century but now has come of age in the deterioration of compassion and these men and women of mindful hypocrisy lust for everything in their obsession with possession gorging, now of course they have no feeling for anything, anyone outside themselves, for they are the true gods of violence, with a primitive passion whereby all morals are extinguished and the truth of our evolution is finally present in their behavior for they do not care about the brutality of wars for they enjoy the suffering of others, knowing wars pay well for their bottom line and just like gun control, isn’t that absurd there is no gun that can’t be bought, no weapon that can’t be

purchased if you have the cash, they partake in the hipster’s game of hide and seek, doing just enough to get by in social settings but upon returning to their true nature of primitive passion and drunken frenzy explode at the very idea that they had to shake hands with those ungrateful things called human, why don’t they just be quiet, it would be safe to say that we non-humans care more about accumulation than disbursement of goods to the people we have exploited, yes we are crooks, sadists and enjoy the suffering of the meek, fearful population, the ones that can’t begin to fight against the owners of our democracy, the plan has been developed over 40 years of misinformation and attacks on anything that would interfere with their rights as the chosen ones to exploit and then destroy this earth for profit, empathy in these predators minds is non-existent, they will attack anyone that speaks in a voice different from the ones they own, it is no use to fight these criminals but there you are wrong, stand up for your way of life, don’t sit by idly watching while these barbarians pollute and pillage this world for economic gain in an ego’s evil adventure, just so they can sit smug and watch the people suffer by destroying this little planet in the vast blackness of space, their lifeless souls needing a stimulus of pleasure watching others suffer through this economic blackmail using words that

are meaningless but yet instill in some a behavior as frightening as the first ships that came to this natural wonder to exploit the Native Tribes for their own pleasure and murder, but remember it will be a slow dying, an attack on the poor and youth of color for they don’t matter in a society where equality is a game of monopoly and the robber barons are well aware of their prowess in stealing lives and murdering innocence and keeping all people of color enslaved to the will of a barbaric history that has never ended, this destruction of morals, ones ability to function with respect and honor is gone and was never present in the good old united states of atrocities, and it will be a slick murder like it is in other countries as we exploit and destroy their lands in wars of power for profit, some call us wealthy psychopathic animals because we have an instinctive drive to herd the human race into the poverty of a fear based existence, an existence of meager ideas and means for survival, conditioning them to behave in a meek and submissive manner and follow their intellects rule of thumb, if the wealthy want it done, go do it, we are the gods of exploitation so when you approach us bow slightly and genuflect and praise the gods for our being present before you, superhuman spirits faithful to the codes of the devil inside overbearing each one of, as we swish by you in our rarefied air of voracious appetites, all we do is plot, plot and plot and this is so tiring that sometimes our brain gets confused and so tired thinking of the next job

of exploitation of the innocent and I want to give something back to the little people of this country but then I realize what it will take to get me perky again and overbearing ready to go and exploit the growing poor is too just relax by the pool and not think about all the work that is ahead of us, we do tend to treat other beings other than our own kind as less than human and to train them to do the bidding of our whimsical needs that sometimes sound weird but believe me having manipulated the entire population with rhetoric that is meaningless but it does get people riled up fighting and killing each other which is a great distraction for us so we can continue destroying the lives of anyone brave enough to attempt to undermine our soul purpose in this life of crime and that is to own the land and the people and the air you breath and we don’t have to do anything but report a false claim and the angry citizens that we have conditioned to respond like pavlov's dog will react on cue and go out and murder innocent people because of the greedy minds of the 1%, all we want is to control the earth’s minerals and the human race, is that asking too much, you can’t beat the propagandist claim that we deliberately manipulated the very people you voted in to office and they ended up betraying your trust and voted to keep the earth’s destruction happening right on time and we ask these politicians with no backbone or sense of integrity to claim over and over again that global warming is

a hoax and it is not forcing a great migration, human beings that have no hope for a future in their own countries trying without success to produce a livelihood of crops to feed their families, praying in tears, death threats and because of this, they have to migrate to other countries and for us wealthy folks this keeps the balance of workers ready and desperate so that they will never go back to their homeland, and we can control the pay of these poor herded sheep displaced by our grotesque insensitivity of respect and love for others, by the way what does that mean anyway, god willing he can be persuaded to forgive us if we slip him a few bucks, it is good for us as companies of exploitation but bad for those families that loved their homeland but that is not our problem, we live in gated communities and have mercenaries armed and ready on our own american wall for our protection not yours and anyone attempting to steal from us, even a thug like us for there are many imitators of our wealth of indifference, will be shot and questions never asked, after we have taken all that is to be taken from the populations of this mediocre world for our pleasure of course, we steel from you all the time but that is our prerogative and hey you get to keep some cents, we love words and we love putting them together in campaign slogans that don’t mean a thing, words in todays hectic fast pace fury of two or three jobs per person trying to make ends meet and support their family and

to get their children in a good school well good luck with that we have been destroying the public school system for decades and were almost done supplanting charter schools in their place and fake colleges that go bankrupt without money being returned, our return policy is oh, so sorry but profits matter more than your future for we need to invest in the next campus scam, oops, I mean highly respectable school for we don’t want the public schools educating the children in a free society to become who they want to be, oh no we want strict control over their thoughts and actions so charter schools fits the bill and any person with an ounce of brain cells can see that controlling the minds of the young is vastly superior than arresting them for protesting by stealing away their future lives, oh by the way we will be building more and more prisons as we battle the coming war between the wealthy and the poor and poorer middle class sinking in debt and low wages, this is only a future prediction of our immoral plan and could change rapidly if by chance a revolution, an uprising occurs but doubtful, we pretty much have the american people afraid of their own shadowy selves and what we will do in order to stay in power with our noses stuck up in the cleansed realm of pleasure and now the majority of you poor folks I know this seems a little premature and a little tasteless exposing our selves to everyone out there but I think it goes without saying we don’t care about you or your children, we will continue to exploit the minerals in this so called earthly

paradise, not for long though, damn it the earth is growing hollow, and when we can finally move ourselves into washington dc and rotate our families through the office of the presidency by controlling both the house and senate as we do now, we will have no problems exploiting this country even further than what we seemed possible, wow that will be cool man, sometimes us rich folks like to put on a hip hat and role play, how was I, you the people are our private piggy bank, oh my son of the future don’t you forget to put our loot away in off shore accounts for safe keeping, no taxes for us, we are to big to fail and go to prison, what does this country stand for, well let me sum it up this way, this beautiful country that is being taken apart by corporate crimes, investing in foreign wars that kill innocent men, women and children all over this planet and these trumped up wars we create for profit conspicuously end without solving anything we must as the rulers of this planet demand that those men and women of this beautiful country called the USA of terror that didn’t get killed and they were able to come back to their home towns expecting us to pay their medical bills for their life giving efforts, that is just plain outrageous and even though temperatures are rising you won’t here anyone in our campaign season admit that false logic but I am rambling, changes are coming and with it more corruption and criminal enterprises just you wait and see there is

something special for everyone believe you me or maybe don’t but we the one percent want to accumulate all the wealth we can before we buy up the last remaining primo lands that will be mostly free of flooding and violent storms, oh don’t worry thanks for your concerns but we will be protected with a mote of quicksand we should have built at our southern border but now it will be put to better use protecting us from the riffraff that will try and come and break through our zone of feel good protection and of course surrounding our compound of selfish, vain criminality, there will be planted a good crop of mine fields to welcome all those that want to over run our little paradise here on earth, but in the mean time we still have to parade around in our armored plated limos as we go to the airport and enter through our private entrance, we want to avoid the hustle and bustle of the main airport for you never know who might start firing a gun and that would be just to much specially if we are going on vacation to our private villa, of course we profit from gun sales, right honey, don’t get me wrong it is very lucrative business but to be around guns is just so worrisome and causes such mayhem, we have made a bountiful return on our investments in gun manufacturing, wait until you see some of the new weapons we have invested in for the coming wars of profit, I just had a great thought, I sometimes ramble along then I have a brilliant idea, why don’t we gather

the upper echelon of unimaginable wealth and make our bought candidates for congress wash our feet and as they suck our toes dry we will have them sing praise the gods of glory for we are the righteous and these wimps of zero integrity love our donations so much that we will have them spout the last words for you, you have to be innovative to survive and your thoughts and actions must stress the importance of this quote, “what this country stands for, oh wait, how best to get our message across to those that still think this world can be saved, well this country stands for shit nothing!”

[likewaterintodryearth]

Send me a character & I’ll answer the following about them! : Attolia Irene from the Queen’s Thief

general opinion:

I’m tongue tied and paralyzed even trying to begin to do justice to this profile of Irene because she is my most favorite fictional character of all time. I hang off of every sliver, every bit, slight mention, and mere allusion to anything that has anything to do with her,  in canon and head canon.  I am here on earth to unlock my own ‘Queen of Attolia’ and so in her the character’s growth and unveiling, I feel as if I am living a part of me that has yet to come on the physical timeline and has always been encoded in my DNA. For lack of better words,  I feel Irene like Costis does, in the fanfiction story, “Dance Me to Your Beauty” by Oshun

( https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883880 ) ...he missed no slight tightening of her lips in irritation or quaver of uncertainty. He noticed her every soft inhalation or straightening of her shoulders whenever a courtly function ran on too long. The times he had detected faint lavender circles under her eyes, he obsessively wondered what prevented her from resting well... I love her brokenness.  Her vulnerability so tightly, elegantly hidden by power and strength.  Two seemingly contrasting ideas are so equally real in Irene.  I love the tears that she won’t shed. I love Eugenides for kissing her so softly that they are coaxed to fall.  I love her every hesitation. I love the time and patience it takes across multiple novels for her to finally thaw and unveil herself as the good, kind, sweet, thoughtful, sensitive, moral, merciful person that she is. I love how Eugenides draws such tenderness out of her after a lifetime of being almost broken by the demands placed on her to fight for her life and her people. I love how Eugenides and Irene are so clearly the same soul after the most traumatizing, polarizing events imaginable unfolded between them, stuff only two halves of one soul could overcome together through each other’s love.  I love how great their fear is of each other and yet their love for each other is even greater and how they always ultimately choose that love over the fear. Irene is the very symbol to me of how nobody, none of us, is truly how we appear on the outside. She is my daily encouragement to Look and See beyond the masks, the petty annoyances.  Irene is my shining hope for the world around me where everyone hides behind a mask and guards their softness and sweetness and vulnerable nature carefully as they try to navigate a world still tempered with predatory harshness.

fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level:  Well this is a given.  She’s the Queen of Attolia, the perfectly gorgeous, to the point where she seems ethereal amidst mere average humans.   I find it more compelling to explore Irene’s personal relationship with her beauty, which she refers to dismissively, flippantly as “just a mask” when Phresine prods her about how time’s a ticking and she’s still single (in QoA). Irene sees her beauty as a convenient tool, a necessary weapon and means to power, power not born from selfish ambition or greed like it is for many men, but an innate instinct to fight for her own physical and moral survival and that of her country.   I find myself acutely aware of how although she owns it fully and maximizes its use, Irene does not revel in her own beauty, that it is a tripled edged sword to her. I don’t find Irene to be at all vain about her superior aesthetics in the way that Kamet is vain about his talents. In fact, it’s clear to me that she feels shame for how her beauty is the only thing that can people can see in her to the point where it reinforces an image of herself that she knows not to be her truth and yet she cannot escape it. The mask that grows heavier to bear, with each passing day that it leaves her feeling old and exhausted. The infamous exchange from TT, where she flushes deeply when Eugenides tells her “You are more beautiful, but [the Queen of Eddis] is more kind.” just screams of shame.  Which just makes me love her more and want to hug her... which she would probably not let me do because she is “slow to trust” and so I hope that Eugenides hugs her and holds her close and helps her feel safe, on all of our behalf.

Irene would be the first one to tell us that being beautiful does not bring her any closer to happiness, in the way that all the wealth in the world could neither buy it.  However subtle, I feel this to be one of MWT’s most potent intended messages to counter the soul crushing weight of all the patriarchal, hegemonic, one dimensional fairy tales foisted upon us since days of old that try to tell us that the value of the feminine lies in appearance alone. get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: Irene has so many layers, is so multidimensional that I’m sure she embodies all of the houses at once, especially as she awakens to her own divinity.  However, if you want me to answer this question based on more initial impression, she’s melancholic, ruthless and goth-y, so Slytherin.  Just as I say that, I’m not fully comfortable saying it because all the nefarious bad guys are slytherins and I want Irene to be surrounded by people who will help her feel sheltered and nurtured after a lifetime of having to pretend that she doesn’t long for and need both of those qualities in the people around her.  I don’t think she was able to recognize it in herself until she got a chance to be those things for Eugenides after she crippled him because she was afraid of what he would and could do to her while she slept surrounded by an inflated palace guard immune to nothing... but him. gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff best quality: Her jealousy and envy of the Queen of Eddis.  Although it didn’t amount to any pleasant exchanges for the two queens or to good international relations, I’m intentionally putting it under “Best Quality” because it shows that Irene longed for the balance between masculine and feminine the Helen was fortunate to have her entire life. It shows that Irene longed for Truth.  I love that despite her lady-like and feminine outward appearance, Irene would also have loved to learn how to use a sword, fight her own battles, ride a pony as a child, swim, hunt and basically “run wild in the mountains” as Helen did. A lot of girls and women I know are perfectly satisfied being “girly,” don’t even think to question the binary masculine/feminine construct, see nothing wrong with the limitations of their gender-body assignment, and never think about how they are unconsciously imprisoned by them. 

worst quality: Nothing. Irene is perfect in my eyes. I feel her sadness, her ever-increasing joy, the beginnings of real laughter, her rage, her strength, her endurance, her patience, her fear, her boldness, her shyness, her wisdom, her child-like responses that she suppresses, how when she says she feels old, it’s because she feels tired and sad. I don’t find her scary. I find her to be scared. It’s interesting to note, I teach English to students in Korea and they’re always confusing “scary” with “scared” and in Irene’s case, the two are actually interchangeably one and the same.  ship them with:  Eugenides, of course.  He is her perfect match, her twin flame, her twin soul, her divine counterpart, her split soul, her other half.  He is the god to her goddess. He Saw her when nobody else did.  He saved her as she saved him.  I also love the idea of Costis being equally in love with both of them and both of them welcoming him into their bed and their intimate lives. Again, my main influence is “Dance Me to Your Beauty” by Oshun (fanfic link above).  Just as much as I love the idea that Eugenides and Irene saw Costis’s future with Kamet and set them up together in a unified divine pairing of comparable high vibration.  brotp them with: I love Irene and Helen’s begrudged, cautious woman-to-woman, peer to peer friendship. I love when Irene caves to Helen in QoA:  and tells her she likes her even when she didn’t think she would.  I love that Helen is willing to give Irene another chance. I really feel like Irene didn’t truly mean to be awful when she “poured vitriol” into Helen’s ear at Helen’s coronation; perhaps there was a little ego in it but Irene was honestly sharing herself and yet I also understand how Helen, having never known Irene’s neglect and abuse, perceived it as more negative than intended.  Irene pretty much gives the same advice to Sophos years later and he actually takes the advice with reasonable success. I love that Irene routinely accepts Helen’s advice on how to “handle” her husband.  I love the moment when Irene comes to Helen’s aid one of the few times it’s actually Helen who’s in need of support, when the fact that she’s in love with Sophos hits her like a pile of bricks too late. I adore that Helen so fully accepts Irene’s support, by holding tightly to her. In how Irene took Helen’s hand in that moment, I feel like Irene was also apologizing for how she’d treated Helen for all those years previous.  

I also brotp Irene and Sophos.  I love how it’s clear that as she’s still learning how to have functional, trusting friendships, how she looks to Eugenides for guidance and she’s clearly in awe of Gen’s close friendship with Sophos, shown through the softness of her voice whenever she asks Gen about him... I love how even in CoK, she’s still thawing and really, in her own rigid, chilly way she’s generously pouring her heart out to Sophos by offering him everything she knows about ruling a country to him on their walks. And Sophos, needing the reassuring warmth that he receives from Helen to be confident in himself, doesn’t fully understand how Irene is reaching out to him and remains scared of her. I sense that after the miscarriage undoubtedly shatters Irene into the billion pieces that are necessary for her to fully begin again, healed and anew, that Irene and Sophos will have their own close friendship that won’t be so stressful to Sophos.  I brotp (ship?) Irene with Costis!  I love the idea of Irene and Eugenides being willing to share their bed with Costis occasionally, and Costis alone because of his “confounded, asinine, patron sense of honor”.... because there’s something powerful about trust being so strong within a primary relationship that both partners can open themselves to loving and allowing their significant other to love a third person without jealousy.  Being that Eugenides and Irene are otherwise both “very jealous people,” that they would trust Costis, and trust each other with Costis.... the thought, the fantasy of all of them together leaves me breathless.  And not to leave Costis as always second in line, the third wheel, through their masterminding, Kamet enters Costis’s life for the best and the pairings reach a satiating equilibrium. I brotp Irene and Kamet, because in a different way than Eugenides and Irene are exactly alike, Kamet and Irene too are exactly alike. They seem to have an already established, comfortable connection with each other. They are astoundingly, heart achingly similar in their histories of abuse, enslavement and profound mistrust.

needs to stay away from: I dunno.  Nahusaresh?  That seems to be handled.  I appreciate that Irene knows how to flirt in the regular, benign, basic-bitch kind of way (she learned it from Chloe) and then totally bends Nahusaresh over with it in deception, cunning on the level of her husband, yet in a manner all her own.  In contrast, the way she actually flirts with Eugenides is completely fatalistic. misc. thoughts: I love that it’s clearly stated that Irene wasn’t necessarily considered immediately beautiful or graceful as a child or adolescent.  I love that her earth-shattering, goddess-evoking beauty was something that she grew into and her regal grace was something that she practiced. I love that she was a quiet, shy, awkward girl in stunning contrast to the woman she had to become. Although she grows out of the awkwardness, I get so vividly that the real Irene is STILL quiet and shy even when Attolia is commanding, enduring, regal and not to be fucked with.  

I love that in a similar way that MWT organizes our six protagonists in perfect contrast with each other, three light skinned (Irene, Sophos, Costis) three dark skinned (Eugenides, Helen, Kamet), three masculine and male bodied (Eugenides, Costis, Sophos), and three feminine and/or female bodied (Irene, Helen, and Kamet-- clearly a feminine energy in a male body... e.g. Godekker referring to him as “pretty.”) she also subtly has a yin-yang balance going on in each character’s athleticism/physical abilities.  I see this as being the three who seemed to be at ease and capable inhabiting their bodies from the beginning vs. the lesser athletes who had to grow into their athletic abilities later on: On one side, Eugenides, Obviously. I mean, the one-handed handstands, the master duelist, leaping across rooftops, for fucks sake!  Enough said. The more subtle of the three, but I feel still deserves this category: Helen, a trained soldier since childhood, in stance and skill, “not quite as dangerous as a male soldier twice her size,” but alarmingly close. AND OH MY GOD COSTIS.  I will never, ever forget how that scene in TAT where he stealthily breaks the necks of the slavers and then catlike, sets to work undoing their chains, kills multiple soldiers with one stone (as Gen can), muscles rippling at every turn, stealing from mountain lions, reading how strong, strapping, competent a soldier and survivalist Costis is was nothing short of ecstatic.  These three all probably know how to swim (even Gen with one hand). On the other side, the lesser athletes, the ones that had a learning curve learning how to be comfortable and capable in their bodies:  Sophos who was mediocre or downright wimpy at most things physical for a good part of childhood, luckily puberty was generous to him and enslavement was strengthening.  Sophos turned out admirably, or at least passably strong, capable and competent, shooting a pistol, shoveling dirt, building walls.  Oooh my mouth was watering when MWT described how his shoulders had broadened from the hours of fieldwork.  Helen might possibly be better at fighting a battle than him (or maybe he was just being humble when he was talking about how he was waving his sword around trying not to cut the ears off his own horse, lol)... And I don’t even need to say anything about Kamet, who keels over like a flower at even the most remote of physical demand, who has to be towed along in shallow water, Kamet needs no explaining here.  And then Irene.... the disadvantage of being genetically inclined to being built like a supermodel is the initial growth spurts are jarring... she occasionally gets “ungainly with hesitation.”  Categorizing Irene on this side is probably more because as an Attolian female, her culture kept her chained to a loom and denied her the chances to explore her physical potential until much later in life where she learned to ride and hunt on horseback and use knives and shoot pistols. Like Sophos, I imagine Irene ended up perfectly competent, but the learning curve was longer for these three (and even Kamet gets whipped into shape on his journey across the empire).  However, someone needs to teach Irene and Kamet how to swim... I know this is insanely long but I just could not stop!  and I thought about cutting it into pieces... I might still to make it more manageable, yet there’s something satisfying about letting it all flow forth until it doesn’t and seeing the thought process as complete. @amuseoffyre @artfrostedleaf @goatfoot-of-attolia @hamiathiesgift @hamiathesgiftexchange @gaycostis @eddisian @eddis-attolia-sounis @shebsart @mander-draws @november-branches @queenofattolia @queensandkingsofattolia @fuckyeahqueensthief @queensthiefobsession @queensthieffanfiction @ladyvoh @eediis @eddisianrchive @goatfoot-of-attolia @go-to-bed-eugenides @survivablyso @eileenpotter @throwaninkpot @bookaddict7342 @ibmiller Please know that if I tagged you in this... it’s because I know you to be passionate about the Queen’s Thief in some way and I hope to invite in the kind of dialogue about this extraordinary saga that so fills my soul.  (whether be it by reblog posts, or rapid fire one on one messaging) Please consider any of the above to be prompts or I would gladly converse with you about anything else ... this is the kind of stuff I live for and I can hardly believe that there is a like-minded tumblr / sounis livejournal community that also lives for it.

[thornstocutyouwith]

Lawful Good

Lawful Good

A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished.

Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion.

Lawful good can be a dangerous alignment when it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.

While strict in their prosecution of law and order, characters of lawful good alignment follow these precepts to improve the common weal. Certain freedoms must, of course, be sacrificed in order to bring order; but truth is of highest value, and life and beauty of great importance. The benefits of this society are to be brought to all.  Creatures of lawful good alignment view the cosmos with varying degrees of lawfulness or desire for good. The are convinced that order and law are absolutely necessary to assure good, and that good is best defined as whatever brings the most benefit to the greater number of decent, thinking creatures and the least woe to the rest. (1)

Characters of this alignment believe that an orderly, strong society with a well-organized government can work to make life better for the majority of the people.  To ensure the quality of life, laws must be created and obeyed.  When people respect the laws and try to help one another, society as a whole prospers.  These characters strive for those things that will bring the greatest benefit to the most people and cause the least harm. (2)

These characters have a strong moral character.  Truth, honor, and the welfare of others is all-important.  They are convinced that order and laws are absolutely necessary to assure that goodness prevails.   Lawful good beings will not want to lie or cheat anyone, good or evil.  They will not stand for treachery and will not let obviously dishonorable people use their own honor against them, if they can help it.  They will obey the laws and customs of the area that they are in, but will attempt to find legal loopholes to disobey a law which is clearly evil or unjust. (3)

Lawful good characters are group and order oriented, and will cooperate with authority in all cases to promote the common weal.  Not all lawful good beings view the cosmos with an equal desire for lawfulness and goodness, so there is no such thing as a perfectly balanced "lawful good" attitude (nor a perfectly balanced attitude for any other alignment, for that matter).  In general, however, a lawful good character promotes the ideals and rights of the majority over those of the individual (and this includes himself as well as others) and upholds the rights of the weak and oppressed members of society, who should be allowed to reap society's benefits with equanimity. The lawful good being feels this is the best way that all members of society can enjoy the rights of existence together.  Life is important to the lawful good being, but life is not exclusive of order, and vice versa. (4)

Lawful good can appear to be a difficult alignment to uphold, but it must be remembered that lawful good characters are not necessarily naive or unrealistic.  At the heart of a lawful good alignment is the belief in a system of laws that promotes the welfare of all members of a society, ensures their safety, and guarantees justice.  So long as the laws are just and applied fairly to all people, it doesn't matter to the lawful good character whether they originate from a democracy or a dictator.  Though all lawful good systems adhere to the same general principles, specific laws may be different.  One society may allow a wife to have two husbands, another may enforce strict monogamy.   Gambling may be tolerated in one system, forbidden in another. A  lawful good character respects the laws of other lawful good cultures and will not seek to impose his own values on their citizens. (5)

However, a lawful good character will not honor a law that runs contrary to his alignment.  A government may believe that unregulated gambling provides a harmless diversion, but a lawful good character may determine that the policy has resulted in devastating poverty and despair.  In this character's mind, the government is guilty of a lawless act by promoting an exploitative and destructive enterprise.  In response, he may encourage citizens to refrain from gambling, or he may work to change the law.  Particularly abhorrent practices, such as slavery and torture, may force the lawful good character to take direct action.  It doesn't matter if these practices are culturally acceptable or sanctioned by well-meaning officials.  The lawful good character's sense of justice compels him to intervene and alleviate as much suffering as he can.  Note, though, that time constraints, inadequate resources, and other commitments may limit his involvement.  While a lawful good character might wish for a cultural revolution in a society that tolerates cannibalism, he may have to content himself with rescuing a few victims before circumstances force him to leave the area. (5)

When will a lawful good character take a life?  A lawful good being kills whenever necessary to promote the greater good, or to protect himself, his companions, or anyone whom he's vowed to defend.  In times of war, he strikes down the enemies of his nation.  He does not interfere with a legal execution, so long as the punishment fits the crime.  Otherwise, a lawful good character avoids killing whenever possible.  He does not kill a person who is merely suspected of a crime, nor does this character necessarily kill someone he perceives to be a threat unless he has tangible evidence or certain knowledge of evildoing.  He never kills for treasure or personal gain.  He never knowingly kills an innocent being. (5)

A lawful good character will keep his word if he gives it and will never lie.  He will never attack an unarmed foe and will never harm an innocent.  He will not use torture to extract information or for pleasure.  He will never kill for pleasure, only in self-defense or in the defense of others.  A lawful good character will never use poison.   He will help those in need and he prefers to work with others.  He responds well to higher authority, is trustful of organizations, and will always follow the law.  He will never betray a family member, comrade, or friend (though he will attempt to bring an immoral or law-breaking friend to justice, in order to rehabilitate that person).   Lawful good characters respect the concepts of self-discipline and honor. (6)

Here are some possible adjectives describing lawful good characters:   friendly, courteous, sensitive to the feelings of others, scrupulous, honorable, trustworthy, reliable, helpful, loyal, and respectful of "life, love, and the pursuit of happiness."

Well known lawful good characters from film or literature include: Luke Skywalker (Star Wars), Mister Spock (Star Trek), Hermione Granger (Harry Potter), and Superman (DC Comics).

Equivalent alignment in other game systems:  Principled (Palladium), Road of Heaven (Vampire), Light Side (Star Wars), Law (Warhammer), Virtuous and Ethical (Alternity).

The Ten Lawful Good Commandments

A list of Ten Commandments for a lawful good religion may look like this:

1. You shall not lie.

2. You shall not harm the innocent.

3. You shall not murder.

4. You shall help the needy.

5. You shall honor legitimate authority that promotes goodness.

6. You shall follow the law.

7. You shall not betray others.

8. You shall bring criminals and evil-doers to justice.

9. You shall not steal.

10. You shall seek unlimited good for others and unlimited order in society.

Ten Lawful Good Sins

Likewise, a lawful good religion may list the following as sins.  This list is given in the order of least severe infraction to most severe.

1. Failing to show respect to lawful good churches, governments, and/or beings.

2. Failing to speak out against corruption, sin, greed, pride, etc.

3. Being motivated by pride, avarice, gluttony, or some other sinful impulse.

4. Theft, robbery, or willful vandalism.

5. Causing harm to a pious or virtuous being.

6. Failing to assist or aid good beings when in need.

7. Blasphemous or heretical acts.

8. Allowing a crime or major act of evil to go unpunished.

9. The murder of an innocent.

10. Aiding the servants of Chaos and Evil.

The Lawful Good Adventurer

The following two lists detail common actions undertaken during "adventuring" that are considered honorable and dishonorable for the lawful good alignment.  An honorable action is one that is in keeping with the spirit of this alignment, while dishonorable actions tend to be those which bring shame to the character in the eyes of his or her alignment peers.  Note that an action which is considered honorable by one alignment may be considered dishonorable by another alignment and vice versa.

The following actions are honorable for this alignment:

Allowing a disarmed enemy to pick up his weapon

Allowing the enemy to attack first

Allowing the enemy to remove their dead/wounded from the field

Defeating a superior opponent

Picking up the funeral expenses of someone you slew in combat

Refusing medical treatment for the good of the party

Reporting illegal and immoral actions to the authorities

Saving the life of another at great risk to own self

Taking an arrow or hit for someone else

Taking prisoners

The following actions are dishonorable for this alignment:

Accused of crime (innocent or not)

Attacking an unarmed or obviously inferior opponent

Being taken prisoner

Convicted of a crime

Defeated by an inferior opponent

Delivering death blow to a helpless opponent

Desecrating an enemy's corpse

Dirty fighting

Falsely claiming the 'bragging rights' that belong to another or outright lying

Fleeing a battle that's obviously going poorly

Fleeing a fight with a superior opponent

Fleeing a fight with an equal opponent

Gloating over a victory

Killing a host who has provided you food or shelter

Neglecting to properly bury a member of one's own race

Paying off an extortionist or shake-down

Perpetrate humiliating prank on enemy

Rash or improper social behavior

Refusing a fair contest/challenge

Surrendering

Taking a bribe

Taunting an enemy into fighting

Treason

Unjustly slaying a prisoner or unarmed opponent who has yielded

Walking away from a challenge

Lawful Good and Society

A lawful good being...

Respects the authority figures in his family and obeys their mandates.

Values lifelong commitment to a romantic partner.

Obeys all personal contracts.

Respects the laws and authority figures of the community and nation.

Considers public service in a leadership role an honor.

Supports the legal procedures of the nation, without regard to their own discomfort.

Seeks secure employment, believing hard work will pay off in the end.

Will not want to disappoint his family.

Will support their family even if it means personal discomfort.

Will never betray a friend and enjoys having close friends.

Considers the needs of the community in personal life.

Will give his life in defense of his community.

Will take actions to aid others during times of crisis, even if unprofitable to do so.

Believes everyone should be treated fairly and kindly.

Feels guilt when he commits a wrongdoing and will seek to right his wrong.

Uses wealth to help others who are less fortunate.

A community with a lawful good government usually has a codified set of laws, and most people willingly obey those laws.  In a lawful good society, the people are generally honest, law-abiding, and helpful. They mean well (at least most of them do). They respect the law. As a rule, people don't walk around wearing armor and carrying weapons. Those who do are viewed with suspicion or as trouble-makers. Some societies tend to dislike adventurers, since they often bring trouble.

Lawful Good and Other Alignments

Lawful Good vs. Lawful Neutral

Conflict between lawful neutral and lawful good characters will center around the nature of laws.  Lawful good characters want laws to protect the weak and punish the wicked, while lawful neutral characters are only interested in maintaining or expanding laws to cover every foreseeable problem within society without compassion or moral judgment.  Lawful neutral characters will apply laws in a rigid manner, not worrying about whether the spirit of the law is upheld.  It is the letter that is important to them.  The language of the social compact and the wording of laws are all they are interested in, since that is all that is apparent from written documents.  A lawful good character will be just as offended by a lawful neutral character's preference of letter over spirit as they are contemptuous of the neutral good character's insistence that the spirit is more important.  The lawful good character will question the utility of laws that do not take into account all circumstances to provide a just and equitable settlement that coincides with their moral beliefs.  The lawful neutral character does not consider morality when applying laws, only the effectiveness of the law to keep society stable.

Lawful Good vs. Neutral Good

Since neutral good characters see no inherent worth in laws, other than how well they provide for the common good, they may disagree with lawful good characters on a number of issues.  Conflicts between characters of these types will center around the lawful good character always wanting to work within the law to accomplish good, even if breaking the law might result in more good for people.  They will not accept the neutral good character's argument that working around the law is sometimes a better way to accomplish the spirit of the law.  To lawful good characters, the letter and spirit of good laws should not be violated.   They see a legal system as something that should be followed, as long as it is good, even if an illegal, or shady way might accomplish better results.  Neutral good characters will be disgusted by their lawful good allies' adherence to laws, when the path is clear for them--break the law.  Lawful good characters will contend that if they do not follow the law to accomplish what is right, how are they different from criminals?  Their ethical sensibilities will be offended by the way that a neutral good character might do things.

Lawful Good, Lawful Neutral, and Lawful Evil

When operating as leaders within society, this is how characters of these three alignments may behave.  The lawful neutral character will advance the aims of society and apply the law impartially to all citizens.  He will follow laws and fight to ensure that all citizens follow laws.  He will use legitimate means to change to social order if the state would benefit more from the change.  He will promote fairness, using the law to reward those who act in accordance with the social order and punish those who act to the detriment of the state.  He will tolerate corruption as long as the strength of the state is not jeopardized.  The lawful neutral character will enjoy his position and its perks, but will not abuse his authority.  The lawful good character will view his position as an opportunity to selflessly serve his fellow citizens.  He will work to increase weal throughout society through the apparatus of the state.  He will tirelessly fight corruption and work to eliminate social ills such as poverty, uneven wealth distribution, abuse by the state, and other problems.  The lawful evil character will use his position of power over others to ruthlessly pursue his own agenda using the apparatus of the state.  He will follow laws and encourage all citizens to follow laws by severely punishing criminals.   He will increase his own wealth and power at the expense of the population as long as he can use legal means.  The lawful evil character views his position as proof of his superiority over the common rabble.

Lawful Good, Neutral Good, and Chaotic Good

In situations where goodness must be advanced in society, this is how characters of these different alignments may respond.  The lawful good character will promote weal throughout society through increased legislation or a more powerful government.  They will work to provide laws and procedures to protect the population against every foreseeable ill in society.  They will protect citizens against abuse from unscrupulous individuals.  They will advocate and construct power structures and economic systems that provide the most benefit for the population as a whole.  Lawful good characters will provide equality of result.  The chaotic good character will promote happiness in society by increasing freedom and allowing its citizens to decide the best way to increase prosperity for all.  They will promote systems which give maximum freedom and opportunity for citizens to increase their own happiness and the happiness of others.  They will ensure that the population is protected against every possible abuse by the governing system.  Chaotic good characters will provide equality of opportunity.   Neutral good character will build a system that promotes both harmony and freedom.  They will attempt to balance opportunity and results.   They will use only enough laws and order to protect the freedom of its citizens to promote prosperity and happiness for all.  They will guard the population against abuses from within the power structure, but also against abuses from individuals.  Neutral good characters will build a flexible social order that allows both public and private action to increase goodness in society.

How Lawful Good Views the Other Alignments

The chart below shows how Lawful Good views itself and the other eight alignments.

Lawful Good

Honorable and Humane

Neutral Good

Humane but Unreliable

Chaotic Good

Humane but Dishonorable

Lawful Neutral

Honorable but Apathetic

True Neutral

Unreliable and Apathetic

Chaotic Neutral

Dishonorable and Apathetic

Lawful Evil

Honorable but Ruthless

Neutral Evil

Unreliable and Ruthless

Chaotic Evil

Dishonorable and Ruthless

Lawfuls tend to view actions on a scale ranging from honorable to dishonorable.  They hold themselves honorable while chaotics are seen as dishonorable in their eyes.  Lawfuls view ethical neutrals as unreliable as they are concerned with doing the right thing some of the time whereas other times they seem to disregard society's expectations.

Characters of good alignment wish to advance altruism, compassion, and mercy.  They view themselves as humane.  At the opposite end of this spectrum is ruthlessness, while moral neutrals are seen as indifferent and apathetic.

The Philosophy of Lawful Good

Lawful good is the philosophy that goodness is best achieved through law and order.  It is a philosophy of altruistic collectivism.  This philosophy holds that people should behave altruistically and put the needs of the group ahead of individual desires.  Lawful good can also be associated with rule utilitarianism and ethical altruism.  

Lawful good philosophers generally maintain that there is metaphysical order in the multiverse and thus may support doctrines of hard determinism, predeterminism, fatalism, predestination, and/or necessitarianism.  They may believe in fate or destiny.  They tend to be moral objectivists, holding that values exist in the external world independently of and external to our comprehension of them; that they can be found and known; and that they must be used as principles for human judgments and conduct.

The ideal government for this alignment is an authoritarian state with codified laws supporting a social order in which altruism is rewarded and radical egoism is punished.  Lawful good beings want the power of the state to be used for the benefit of all.  Rehabilitative justice is used to reform criminals and evil-doers.  

[silverblighted]

ALIGNMENT, FLUFF, TOUCH AND VICE FOR VERGIL AND ALIGNMENT, GRUDGE, HOBBY AND PISTOL

sOH BOY!!! YI KNEW THIS WAS COMING BC I TAGGED YOUHOHOHOHOHOH

Vergil:

Alignment:

Lawful Neutral! Yeah? YEAH! Vergil’s not evil. He’s not. He’s not good, either, not really without the influence of other people, but he does what he does because that’s what he wants. He usually is acting out of self interest or out of self gain, but generally Vergil does what he does not with the intention of hurting others or at the expense of others, but often that can come from willful ignorance of negligence on his behalf. Yeah, raising a giant demon portal to open hell was a really not so good idea, but his motivations are purely personal and rooted.

Also, Vergil lives by a very staunch code of personal ethics. He is not ruthlessly violent if there is no reason to be. He is his own law, but that law is very deliberately set in place and he offers himself very little wiggle room inside that law. He believes in ‘harmony’ by way of power, and thus wishes to achieve an ultimate state of power in order to enforce that harmony.  He can do both good things, and evil things in order to achieve this.

Fluff:

Words of loyalty really impress Vergil. He is a material person, but he is often not moved by gifts that have no meaning, but if you say to him things like ‘You will always be my friend’ or ‘ I will always be here for you’, it will hit him in a special place. Vergil doesn’t take such statements lightly, nor does he throw them around ; he takes words very seriously (except for when Dante is speaking, and especially when he says something nice. Vergil cannot afford to get close to his brother)

However, it’s so hard to get close to him because pretends like nothing affects him. He does this for a ‘good reason’, and he brushes away any feelings of sentiment, or swallows them down and wallows in them alone because he doesn’t feel like he is capable of bridging that gap and becoming close to people, in any capacity. Vergil is a self imposed ‘lone wolf.’

Touch:

Do Not Do It. Don’t touch him if you can help it at all. He hates being touched, any sort of affection is #gross. No really tho - he likes it, he acts like he doesn’t like it, he’s like a cat. Tsundere cambion right here. However... if someone were going to touch him, and he was caught completely off guard, or perhaps in a situation where he was accidentally dropping his very heavy guard, he might really like it if someone brushed their fingers through his hair, or you know... rubbed his back a little bit. 

Vice:

Vergil thinks himself vice less but that’s obviously not the case. He does nothing he would be ashamed of, because he does not feel shame necessarily nor would he part-take in something that he would feel guilty for doing. Guilty pleasures are just pleasures, or they don’t exist. However, Vergil has a few bad habits - he jiggles his legs when he is nervous, he will painstakingly sharpen his sword even though it is eternally perfectly sharp and he often will mutter under his breath.

In terms of vices though the most ‘vice-like’ thing Vergil takes part in is greed - he’s very materialistic and he’s very very conscious of his looks. I hesitate to call this a vice because being ‘tidy’ and ‘aesthetic’ are usually good things, but Vergil is almost annoyingly so at times.

oh, and he also can get thrown into a fit of wild depression when he is feeling particularly jealous of other people’s lives, but he generally keeps that to himself and it has no real outward signifiers except for his rude-ass temper. He also is pissy when people have things he wants, very pissy, but that’s not really a vice either. Vergil seems like the kind of guy who would have an obsession with wine, or with gambling, but he’s pretty intelligent with his money and is horrible at gambling and he only needs one drink before he’s completely sloshed and the drunkenness does not last very long. Demonic metabolism, u know.

But like i said, Vergil is not the sort of person who is ashamed or tries to hide some facet of his life, he wouldn’t consider anything he does

Isolde:

Alignment:

Thinks herself to be Chaotic Neutral but she is really Neutral Good.This comes in to play because she thinks she’s much more of a free agent than she really is. She’s really a good girl even if she pretends like she does not care ; she’ll always do the right thing in the end. Isolde is also very anti-murder of ANYTHING. She protects demons who she views as innocent victims, she is squicked and unsettled by the abject murder of demons and beasts, as well as animals. In the event that it’s necessary, she’ll be ultimately OK with it but that doesn’t mean she has to like it. (That is to say, Isolde is not a pacifist, she’ll fight something and she’ll fight it hard as long as she knows she wont be touched! She just can’t handle getting hurt bc she’s a wimp)  HOWEVER the magic that governs her soul is True Neutral!

Grudge:

Insulting her usually ends up with her in tears tbh. She can’t handle name calling directed at her and someone pointing out her many personality flaws (or telling her she’s not as horrible as she tries to be) is rude and she has the emotional stablity of a toothpick. Isolde holds grudges for a really long time and usually for small, petty things. You look at her wrong one day? She probably thinks you’re horrible. You make an off-hand comment? She’s going to be sour until you confront her about it. She definitely is the kind of person who would remember that x said y on z day, and she’s thought about it every day since.

Hobby:

BIONICLES.

i honestly don’t know if her collecting weird stuff is that surprising though.

BUT Isolde is also a shit talker on MMORPGs and MOBAS. SHe’s not good by any means but there’s just something about yelling at sweaty 20 year old men and tiny 12 year olds that really gives her a feeling of DEEEEELIIGHTTTTT. But yeah, Isolde really likes video games!

(and collecting shit, like... anything. ANYTHING? anything. take her to a flea market and she’s dead. take her to an ‘underground’ flea market and she’s dead x ten, and broke.. or she swiped some stuff..)

Pistol:

I kind of answered this above. Magic is her weapon of choice, obviously. She has a wraith form that she’s conscripted from a wraith friend of hers that has ties with the Cadre and taught her how do it, but usually she works in control spells and illusions. But Like i said before Isolde is not a pacifistic but she is very against abject murder and killing. If someone is VERY BAD HORRIBLE WRONG THE WORST then she’s not going to protest, but she really hates violence for violence’s sake and will do anything she can to stop someone from hurting an innocent, whether they are human or demon. yes - she believes demons can be innocent and that they’re not all horrible. Yes, she purposefully will bind herself to a demon to keep it safe. Yes, she has been tricked by this before because unfortunately she truly tries to see the best in everyone, even her adversaries. 

[booker-and-boo]

Yo so I took these questions from @exspiravitae and probably gonna use my Worgen Rogue Denewulf.  

 What are your character’s most recurring conflicts, internally and externally? Why are they recurring? Does your character respond to these conflicts the same time, and if so, are they getting tired of doing so? If they respond differently, why?

Denewulf’s biggest conflict externally his relationship with people in a broader, more general sense. Which actually correlates into his internal conflict: his morality. Denewulf is -for lack of a better term- an asshole, making him prone to pissing a lot of people off and at the worst times edging others into fighting him when he’s shitfaced. Denewulf’s early life wasn’t exactly pretty, therefore he’s harnessed and weaponized that fueling hatred towards the world and made armour out of apathy towards others emotions and values. Though yes, he does have some friends; Denewulf is mostly alone and prefers the company of shadows compared to the company of others. Somthing his new found friends -which were unwilling on his part- have learned to simply accept.  For the most part in how Denewulf reacts and responds to these conflicts, it is indeed at the same time. And quite frankly, after the events that had transpired in Mists of Pandaria and seeing the damage on a physical level, it’s left Denewulf shamed and at least attempting to mend his ways. He’s still an asshole, but he’s slowly growing to be an asshole with a heart. Denewulf knows he can’t do a full 180 degree turn around and be this happy go lucky guy, that’s simply not his way and hasn’t been his way since he was at the age of 12. He’s also damn near his 40′s so that’s also taking it’s toll on him. 

    Who has most greatly influenced your character without their knowledge? (Not necessarily in an intentionally manipulative way, but who helped shape them into what they are now without your character realizing them to be the source?) How has this person’s influence made itself manifest in your character?

Actually, this is most likely going to be both Talmoren and Zyten. Talmoren is the stranger of the two men who have managed to greatly influence the old wolf, as Talmoren is part of the exact thing he hates. The Scourge and all things associated to that. Though Denewulf never experienced the events of Wrath, Denewulf has had enough experiences with a part that came from The Scourge. Sylvanas and her Forsaken. However;Talmoren has managed to make the Worgen lessen some of his hatred towards Death Knight’s somewhat. Either that or he just tolerates Talmoren.  On the other hand, Zyten is definitely a powerful influence as Zyten expresses much of the lost morality that Denewulf lacks. Zyten is compassionate and warrior with a heart of gold. The Warrior just met Denewulf once, got into a fight with him, and hasn’t left him alone since then. Which is honestly a good thing, as Denewulf has actually picked up a few things from the younger man than he would have picked up on his own. Growing up with the idea that the world is a terible place full of assholes, Zyten’s look at it is more on the lines of; “we need to save these people because it’s the right thing to do.” However, Zyten is still willing to beat the absolute piss out of some Horde, to which Denewulf understands that language much easier than the former.  Denewulf’s definitely still an ass, but with Zyten’s help, he’s begun to put others lives before his own -as Denewulf is rather selfish- and typically doesn’t put any hidden motives behind them. He normally does it because it’s just engrained that this is right, and this is how it should be. Though he’s not as brash and quick to act as Zyten is; Denewulf impliments these things into his own character and skills. Honing them and almost becoming a sort of...unsung hero from the shadows of sorts? Without much of the in game story? 

   Is there any one aspect of your character that most prominently defines them: their status as a parent, a monarch, a peasant, a scientist? How does this aspect bleed into their other statuses?

Denewulf’s definitely one of those characters that while he does bad things, he does them because they are necessary and can play a part in seeing the much bigger picture. He’s not going to do something simply because it’s what he wants, or to see what it’ll get him in the end. Denewulf’s learned a lot from when he was an orphan and running the streets of Gilneas stealing morsels of bread to just survive.  To say how everything’s bled into other aspects of his life; Denewulf is first and foremost a killer. It’s a language he knows and deals well with. If it’s got coin and doesn’t involve stupidly high risks? He’ll take it. And much of his wisdom has come from the many instances in which he’s fucked up and found himself in an unwanted situation. Whether that makes him better or not is debatable, but Denewulf isn’t there to beat around the bush or rush into any mission because someone else wants it done now.

For other areas and statuses; it’s important to understand that Denewulf originally became a willing Worgen in Ralaar’s Wolfcult. Even to this day Denewulf doesn’t view his affliction as a curse, but, instead sees it as a blessing. In his line of work and lifestyle in general, it’s good to have keen senses, and being a Worgen makes you acutely more aware of things than you would be as a human. He’s accepted his gift and uses it to his advantage with greed and a lust to fulfill whatever desires he has. Even killing a few unknowing Forsaken should he stumble upon them.  

   What is, in your opinion, their most reprehensible flaw? Why is that, and not any other flaw, the worst? Who would they be without it?

Vindictive. Denewulf is incredibly vindictive amongst many of his other flaws. However, this one actually takes the cake. First and foremost; it should be noted that Denewulf’s father gave him up to the Orphanage in Gilneas when his mother died in childbirth. Denewulf for the longest time could not and still hasn’t let go of that pulsating hatred towards his sire, even when he has already brutally maimed him and his new wife in cold blood during the Worgen Assult on Gilneas during Cataclysm. Amongst other relationships gone horribly wrong, the one with his father is the most prominent, as Denewulf still is broiling in rage and hatred. But at the same time, he gets weirded out by seeing others having these good, healthy and happy relationships with other people. With Denewulf having no idea about what it’s like, he tends to get more closed off and reserved than normal when he sees parents and their children being close and happy. Sometimes getting full blown seething with anger that he needs to walk off and cool down.  I’d say his vindictive personality takes the cake, simply because of the fact it’s what drives him to fucking murder peoples asses in the worst means imaginable. And he doesn’t care if a 2-8 year old is watching. He will fucking murder your ass if you wrong him in any way. To be frank? Denewulf even without his vindictive flaw is and would still be an absolute asshole. He’ll just be less prone to murdering in horrible ass ways? Sooo...-wait. No. Yeah he’d still murder some poor guys ass in some horrendous fashion. 

    What was the defining moment for your character; what choice did they make that has most heavily influenced their current situation? If they could go back and make a different choice, would they? What would change for them if they did?

Definitely a defining moment was when Denewulf made his first murder. Had it not been for Denewulf feeling wronged and with a desire to impose his possessiveness over the woman he had fallen in love with in his younger years? Denewulf would have never learned how skilled he was at killing men in cold blood. Though he was still inexperienced and never killed anything before, Denewulf wanted to make a statement and learned that he had skills and lacked all sense of a moral and honorable code. It’s actually a driving part of what made him who he is today, and another reason that lead him to become a Worgen in Ralaar’s Wolfcult. He knew he could do it, and wanted to do it again to one person in particular. His father. To be honest? Denewulf would have still done it. Though I think if he hadn’t, nothing much would have changed. Just that his ex-lover would be married to someone else. 

    What is their favorite flavor of pudding?

He’s never actually had pudding, but he screams a Butterscoth type guy to me. (Totes not because I love that pudding NOPE)

[wrathandlight-blog]

●  Short bio: Ri Hyung Soo 

Born with the Korean Empire in 1897 - Older twin, and the one who was always in charge when they were children - Lost his memory during the Korean War, and never recovered any of it - Is usually polite, albeit cold with strangers - Prone to violence, against himself and everyone. Quite paranoid - Seems to hesitate between raising his voice against his leaders and silence

●  Details:

Age | 16-17

Nickname / Alias  | Lee Ye Jun (when he travels with his fake South Korean passeport. Doesn’t use the name outside of customs usually) / Wrath (Spy/Assassin alias)

Birthday | August 15th as his 'real' birthday and September 9th as the official one

Residence | Rason, North Korea

Height | 5'6 / 168 cm

Weight | 50 kg

Handedness | Left handed

Tattoos / Marks | Scars all over his hands, mostly from cuts. Another one on the side of his head, hidden under his hair, caused by a bomb.  Also he has a tattoo on the side of his stomach with a standard government approved sentence.

Education | Finished North Korea’s compulsory school system

Actual job |  No stable job right now

Sexuality | Asexual/Romantic orientation unknown

Favorite weapon | A switchblade, although he has two beloved knives he got a long time ago from someone important. Daggers are also acceptable.

Phobias / Fears | Drowning, forgetting, being a traitor.

Bad Habits / Vices | Smoking, did opium at some point, various drugs in the past.

Quirks | Checking his food before eating it to ensure it's not poisoned, biting his hands often, or using his knives on them. Will move away if touched.

Style of Speech | Polite, short but direct sentences.

Other | Can play various musical instruments well, the guitar being his favorite. He is quite knowledgeable about music.

● Personality:

At one point or another, people break. Humans, I mean. Nations are meant to be more resilient, able to endure crack after crack without ever ending in shambles. A blatant lie, without a doubt. I experienced forgetting my own mind once, getting everything wiped away by greed and capitalism. Some would call such experience a war, and perhaps it was one. I wonder when it's supposed to end, for the pounding in my head to stop. The world has decided my existence is a bother, an example to keep other nations in check. Born before the Korean War, I would not be able to narrate  the blood covering everything in sight as my people fought among themselves. A violent attack left me akin to a blank page, on a hospital bed in a room without a window. Memories I will never recover. They allow me to believe in what is written on every wall, escaping every lips I encounter.

You cannot protect anything by always defending yourself. If we do not show we're here, no one will ever listen. Violent, often called cruel, I do not mind taunting my enemies and attacking first. Such is the North Korean way of existing. The ones who do not fight do not deserve much. The weak will be lead to believe in a paradise, a greater place without harm, only to forget where they come from and their families.  I do have a brother, and he will always bear such title. Do not try to put us against each other. Min Hwan and I will always be twins, non-identical siblings who are encouraged to loathe the other. While I have no intention to forgive and forget and cry and lower my guard, he is my sibling, and I will shield him if necessary.

My blade is sharper than my words. Polite, unwilling to swear or threaten authority figures, I have not adapted so well to technology in general, and the smartphone my brother gave to me was shattered, thrown off a building without any regret. North Korea is my home, my safe place, no matter how many times I've avoided the truth happening around me. As long as my people remain alive, that some are still here, I will exist. And if we are wiped out by our enemies, then I will gladly take everyone to hell with my own hands. Religion is not mandatory, in a place where a puppeteer is always watching our steps, ensuring we do not leave the line. Critical thinking will result in more brutality, and punishments no one should bear. I cannot represent kindness, as its meaning escape me. Nonetheless, I have no intention to damage my beloved people.

I do not live in Pyongyang, where only the ones who deserve care are. My steps, and trains, take me everywhere and nowhere. I travel into our smaller towns or village. A preacher's quest, even if I am not trying to convert anyone. I'm self-destructive, violent against myself with my blade and my teeth. Covered in marks which heal too fast, I cannot recall a day in my life where I could stand perfectly still for hours without thinking about removing my fingernails one by one. This cruelty, a mindless one, is my way to fight myself, to ensure I will not break and disappear. My nights are rarely peaceful, no matter how hard I work. My sleep is fragile, and I wake up at any noise, fingers already around my knife or dagger, depending on what I have with me.

As a fighter, I am a proud member of my army, although I do not work with fellow soldiers as often as I used to be. When I trained them, I was careless, causing injuries without noticing until I heard the sound of bones breaking. It's a comforting thing, to be stronger than my opponent. I do not enjoy to stop when I should, pushing myself too far instead. I loathe guns, too heavy, and difficult to use. Fighting bare handed is more convenient, or with a blade. My eyesight is not perfect from afar, although it's not something I've truly pondered over, considering I enjoy to be close to attack. The bomb who caused me a scar under my hair surely caused this too. A permanent reminder of a childhood I lost without even knowing it.

Some would claim I am trapped, brainwashed once again, and forgetting the days where I believed in change. I had not taken in consideration that I experienced too much, without my people getting anything from it. Supporting strangers who speak my language but in the wrong way is disgusting. Yet, I am unsure of being able to understand guilt in itself. The concept would meant weeping over my mistakes, rather than ignoring them and moving on. I will keep on destroying everything around me over and over, until nothing is left anyway. So why should I stop and turn around to stare at the crime scene?

Self-harm comes in many forms, or so my brother claim. Opium, cigarettes, I've done it all, filling my veins and lungs with lies and smoke. Nowadays, only cigarettes are left. Another wrong habit, one who will not kill me. A child should not smoke, you say? Neither should he be starved or mutilated. Sanity is a feeble thing, one I struggle to reach. Being plagued by memories and rejection had turned my heart cold before I was even born. I am North Korea, and I will never be Korea as a whole. Never again, as I do not believe in reunification. What would our people say anyway? They do not know each other any longer. And foreigners around are not a necessity.

I do appreciate their music however. No matter which country it comes from. Instruments are above humans, and a melody can express more than the more sophisticated words. I am talented at some of them, I suppose, through years of practice. Although I adore music mostly because no one is forcing me to play, or to achieve perfection. It's merely a childish dream, a way to bring something brighter into my world. Just as I do when I make paper stars instead of going to bed at night. I owned a violin, and offered it to a child who probably sold it or used it to make a warm fire, and a guitar, broken by my brother. The violin was a foolish pick on my part, as I never mastered it. In fact, the sounds which came out were mediocre, unlike the guitar I understood with my eyes closed. While I abide by the rules, mostly by that point, music is something I carry everywhere, sharing it with my people to mask the screams into the night. A shame my voice is too rough and aggressive for me to sing.

Have I ever played for outsiders? Yes, I did. Friends are not something I desire any longer. Having been betrayed and used by everyone made me cold to affection. Or perhaps I never understood it at all. I miss the Soviet Union, when people trusted my growth and listened to my words. Nowadays, my government pushes me aside a little more every day. I cannot truly blame them, not for this, but I can for other things, considering the constant state of betrayal I used to be in. Once, I believed myself to be able to love, only to realize I had been tricked by legends and dreams. I could only cause damage to this person, hurting him until I opted to flee and never return. My brother got mad about it, calling me a fool, and an idiot. As if he wasn't the same way.

This person… Now I have no intention on meeting him once more, or to face my childishness. I tear apart everything I touch. Who would want such constant violence around them until they suffocate? By that point, I do not intend on leaving my country any longer. Except if I am forced to. A short teenager used as a representative of the most dangerous place in the world. Perhaps there is irony in this situation. I am not able to tell. To be honest, I've never felt bright.

Therefore, I would rather be around the ones who are mine, and support them. I do not mind healing injured animals who bite me with all their might, or wrapping up missing limbs when work goes wrong or there is another tragic flood. Food can be secondary for me, as long as a child is able to get up the next day. Oh, before I had a pet. He was a present from a foreign boy. A soft rabbit, who got named after a musician… My brother cares for him now. I do not have the time any longer.

[bwicblog]

 II: Well, that was a bit disappointing, but it'll all be useful for the fleet I suppose.

II: What is everyone else up to?

ID: a whole lot of nothing.

II: That can be restful!

II: Unless you are bored, haha.

ID: i mean i need plenty of rest, so i'm taking it.

II: Ah, are you recovering from something?

ID: yuppp. got a broken arm and a big ol wound to the shoulder.

II: My goodness. That sounds like quite the fight. Or accident?

ID: definitely fight. all legal, i promise! =:P

II: Pfft, I wasn't going to question you. There are plenty of legal skirmishes on Alternia.

II: In fact I'd say there are probably more legal than not.

ID: it was mostly a joke, dw.

II: Haha

II: Fair

II: ...oh, bother, I swear if one more tall tealblood gets in my way...

II: Why is everyone so _towering_ .

SA: break kneecaps 😃

II: It might be good for some of the neophytes, but greatly frowned upon.

ID: how tall are you?

II: Not terribly short, but short for my caste. 5'5

II: And I swear half these teals look like someone stretched them and pulled them.

ID: i'm 6'1" so. member of the stretch and pull club here.

II: Oh my, you _are_ tall for a rust

II: That must be useful

ID: oh yeah, get to pop over the waves of rust. totes useful.

II: Pfft

II: _Finally._ I thought they'd never stop crowding the doors.

ID: i was scared of blending in, y'know. with all the other horn-floating tattooed maroons. thankfully i have my height to be unique.

II: Ah yes. Your most distinguishing feature, I am sure.

II: You are such a normal troll otherwise. Painfully dull.

ID: i know. shame i haven't taken up a life of crime, you'd never find me in all the other dull faces.

II: Pffft

ID: =;P

II: I have never actually used an emote before

II: But I feel compelled to respond with one

II: 😹

II: ... never mind

II: That looks terrible

II: 🐱 there, much cuter

ID: yeah that. was not a wise choice.

ID: that's better.

II: Haha, it was not, who made that monstrosity I wonder?

II: I thought cat emotes would be cute. That looks awful.

ID: 🐯

ID: ....

ID: 🐅

ID: hey that one isn't too bad.

II: 🦁

II: That one's a bit odd.

SA: 🐍

SA: 🐃 it's your lusus

ID: 🦌

ID: mix those two together, maybe.

II: Haha, it's been a while since I was at circus

II: ...which is a good thing, admittedly.

II: Though some of them do have wonderful menageries.

ID: i was wondering why you were hanging with the teals and all when your caste usually did.

ID: other things.

II: Other less than tasteful activities you mean?

II: Don't worry. I don't endorse a lot of what the church does, even if I am technically part of it. It needs heavy reform in some areas.

ID: i was gonna leave it at other, but p much! =:P

II: Tactful of you, but I certainly don't mind.

II: In the legislacerator business you learn to talk frankly about Imperial bodies. They have their flaws like any other.

II: But that's a dreary topic for most people, so instead I think I'll segue into commenting on this lovely train I'm on.

ID: hahahah, trains are a safer subject for a lil rustie to comment on anyways. =:P

ID: does it have a snack cart.

II: I think if anyone ever called you a "lil rustie" they'd lose a limb, but of course it does.

II: What is a train without a snack cart, I ask you.

II: Incomplete.

ID: you could play along with my weak lil rustie gig, hella rude. =:'(

II: Ha

ID: ...though tbh i was never good at it.

II: Nice try, I've known far too many rusts to fall for that.

II: Idiot neophytes in my class got themselves killed underestimating lowbloods. I learned not to make their mistakes.

ID: well if it makes you feel better i have no plans of culling you, random stranger on the chatroom. =:P

II: Hahahaha

II: I figured not, what would you gain from it?

II: Nothing except a lot of trolls on your tail.

ID: ...i mean...

ID: things.

ID: your wallet.

ID: trolls have killed for less!

II: Pfft, wealth perha - oh, now I'm just hurt, only killing me for my wallet? Not for vengeance or something interesting? You wound me, ID.

II: At least make a penny dreadful out of it.

ID: i mean vengeance for what.

II: Oh I don't know, being purple. Some trolls are that petty.

ID: i mean. for a purpleblood you're like. the least offensive thing i've met.

II: Haha, well, I try to be reasonable. I think rather little of highbloods who believe they can be ill-mannered or wild just because of their blood.

II: They give all of us such a terrible image.

ID: yeah, well. they're pretty encouraged to be awful.

II: Mm, they are, it's deeply unfortunate.

II: I was lucky enough to be raised by trolls who taught me proper behavior young, but in places with less Imperial instruction standards can be _quite_ dismal.

ID: ...raised by trolls?

II: Oh, I had my lusus of course, but I _was_ part of the church's creche when young, before I changed my mind to go into law. So I was always surrounded by proctors of some sort.

ID: oh. huh.

ID: yeah i was raised in the desert.

II: Oh! They can be such fascinating places. What was your upbringing like?

II: Did you live on your own, or in a town?

ID: i had one neighbor pretty much.

II: Ah, isolated then.

ID: preeettttyyy much. we became buddies though. since. lack of options really.

II: Haha, naturally.

II: But you say you were raised there - I presume you left?

ID: oh, yeah. i travel now.

II: Do you? What sort of places do you go?

II: What kind of work do you do?

ID: uh i pretty much just pick a direction and walk.

ID: work is uh. mostly fighting trolls for money?

II: Oh, ring fighting? Or less formal street affairs?

ID: less formal. definitely.

ID: though sometimes ring.

ID: last fight was in a ring.

II: Do you have a preference, or is it simply a matter of convenience which you choose?

ID: ehhh i prefer less formal generally!

II: Smaller crowds and less pressure?

ID: but this time the guy challenged and the fact everyone was telling me i'd just get hurt if i did pissed me off.

II: Pfft, I can see that

ID: less rules. =:P

II: Always irritating to be told - hahaha

II: I suppose I can't argue with that, given my preferred method of combat is shooting my enemies with acid. That's certainly not in any honorable rule book.

II: But it is effective.

ID: whatever works, right?

ID: but yeah. i fucking hate being told i can't do shit.

II: Certainly, given my arsenal of other weapons and technology.

ID: get enough of that in life.

II: Certainly it seems silly to try and dissuade you from a fight, particularly if that is how you live.

ID: besides, it ended in a tie so everyone was wrong on who'd win!

II: Hahaha

II: That is amusing

ID: yeah, well. it happens. as long as no one got salty when i refused to listen, idgaf.

II: Well, I figure it's their problem if they do.

ID: p much! unless they got clades that you're friends with and then they get dragged in to it and it can get messy.

II: Hahah oh my, that sounds quite alarming.

ID: like i'm pretty sure there are trolls upset at what i did to the other guy.

ID: but whatever. he challenged me, and he was the one who made dumb mistakes in the fight.

ID: anddd i'll stop venting to a stranger about it now. sorry.

II: I don't mind! It sounds like it was quite the event.

II: I certainly have nothing better to do than stare at my fellow passengers or browse the internet, and most of the trolls around me aren't terribly interesting looking.

ID: it was fucking something alright.

ID: how long do you have to travel?

II: Oh, a few hours. The lecture I was at was firm-mandated, now I'm back on one of my own cases.

II: I mean, I get cases passed to me through the firm too, but it was a mandatory summons for everyone from our firm regardless of case.

ID: i see. an interesting case?

II: Mmm, I've had duller I suppose. It's mostly just cleaning up loose ends from a mutant fighting ring that was already busted, and we're just chasing down the remaining culprits.

II: Nothing terribly exciting, but it's necessary work.

ID: huh. well, good luck with that.

II: It should be fairly simple; we're not dealing with terribly smart trolls here. They got caught because one of their members accidentally left a _window_ open.

II: Laughably careless.

II: It's a wonder one of them had the brains to set it up in the first place.

ID: a brief spark of genius that quickly waned. =:P

II: In fact I think the leader got culled by some backstabbing subordinate, who then started to get complacent and run the organization with a looser hand, allowing us to get the drop on them.

ID: greed can be the downfall of many a troll i suppose.

ID: but hey, makes your job easier when they're culling each other.

II: Sometimes! Sometimes it leaves us with less information to catch the others with, unfortunately, but in this case that's not an issue.

ID: go on out there and keep our streets safe. =:P

ID: ...well. barely maybe safer.

II: _ha_

II: I'd need a whole team of trolls to make things safer

II: I'm very good at my job, but I'm only one person

ID: aww c'mon. just be troll batman.

II: HA

II: That costume would look ridiculous on me.

II: I adore the movies, mind you, despite the terrible example he sets.

II: But I could not get away with wearing that.

ID: ...troll batgirl?

II: Even worse in the costume department. I'd like a word with whoever designed that. Any legislacerator with half a brain wouldn't be caught dead in that. Insanely impractical.

ID: was it ever really designed to be practical though.

II: No, it was designed for lowlifes to drool over, certainly.

II: Which I suppose is its own appeal, but I can't see a costume like that as at all attractive given the career I have.

AM: Hello, hello sweet honies of the night~

ID: ...ii are you a sweet honey of the night.

ID: because i know i'm not.

AM: Sweetie, honey please. Don't be so down on your self! Anyone can be a sweet honey of the night if you play your cards right, doll!

ID: that sounds vaguely creepy as fuck. =:I

II: ...I believe I am more like a tasteful...never mind I forget where I was going with that, but I don't think so?

II: Certainly it's nice to be called sweet, but honey just seems redundant in that context.

II: It isn't as if honey is going to be bitter.

AM: Hmm...hmmm you've got that right then sugar. Listen babes if you want a different title then cough up some names then eh? Cause listen sweethearts we can dance around that all we want but it's MUCH better for everyone if we cut to the chase with these introductions. Now what's the set of letters stamped on those business cards of yours honies?

II: Gracious, aren't you forward.

AM: Time's money babe.

ID: i feel like i need a second bath tonight now.

ID: hadean.

II: ...I suppose I cannot argue with that. I am Indrid.

AM: Hadean and Indrid. Great meeting you two! Names Ashley- but listen. Babe. Listen. A second bath is a no go. Your skin will DESPISE you, even if you're moisturzing then toning and scrubbing thrice a week honey. It's just not good for that dermis of yours.

SA: i'm sorry what's happening here.

AM: Oh an actual honey! S'up honeysuckle what's YOUR name hm?

ID: run pris. run.

II: Flee.

SA: why am I fleeing.

ID: also i thought giving our names would stop the assault of nicknames. =:I

SA: and why do they keep calling you honey.

II: I haven't the faintest idea.

AM: Run, flee? Sweethearts PLEASe you're harming my poor self. I came in here for a good time and- here let's sit and just chat. Really babes, calm yourselves.

ID: names.

II: Haha, I was merely joking along with ID. It's never in good taste to not tag along with one's conversational partner.

AM: Yeah, yeah I got it bud. Chill it's fine. These EYES HERE, reading through some GRADE-A lenses and typing like the wind now for your names, babe- oop. Yes gotit.

AM: _Hadean_

II: What's your name, AM?

ID: there you go, give the barkbeast a bone.

ID: ashley.

AM: Ashley, sweet heart. Take note of it, I'm digging the VIBES in here I wanna swing around more often.

SA: i like the lowblood chat, i've decided.

SA: it's a safe place.

II: Take me with you. I _will_ miss ID's commentary.

ID: i multitask.

ID: like i'll let a purple scare me out of here.

II: Scare? They aren't so alarming, merely...unusually exuberant!

SA: oh it's not scary at all.

SA: I just. Don't understand.

AM: Oh, darlings, please. I'm not scary. Don't be so intimidated really, just everyone take a breath. A sip of Chai. Excuse me for just being so EXCITED babes.

II: Haha, I'm not intimidated. And surely we can forgive you being excited.

ID: i've been called honey and babe more in these few minutes than i've ever been subjected to in my life. =:I

SA: lavender chai?

II: I'm sure AM was merely unusually free with their charmingly tawdry speech out of gushing enthusiasm.

AM: A LAVENDER CHAI EXACTLY, look this, this one. I like you, what's your name babe?

AM: You've got good taste.

SA: ...Prisma.

SA: please do not call me babe.

AM: Prisma, sweetheart. You've got it.

SA: 👌

ID: i don't think he wants the sweetheart part either tho.

SA: it's preferable.

SA: I am still only perdia's honeycomb.

AM: Listen babes. Listen. I'm telling you this as someone that cares and is going to be forward. Noting held back here alright? Don't take the babe and sweetheart as like ahh...How do I say this nice. A ..PROPOSAL yes a proposal.

AM: It's just friendly sweet talk you know, sweethearts?

AM: A bit of sugar coating on the words. Can't leave a bitter taste in anyone's mouth after all. Nono. we can't have that haha

AM: Bad for business, yadayada.

SA: 🙊

AM: But let's not talk business babes.

SA: let's. Not. yes.

AM: Those are just all WONDERFUL handles by the way.

SA: I still don't understand hadean's tag.

SA: I've been meaning to say.

ID: ˙sᴉɥʇ ǝʞᴉl ǝʇᴉɹʍ ʎllɐnsn ᴉ

ID: ˙ʍou ʇ,uop ƃuᴉʞɔnɟ ᴉ os ʇᴉ ʇnoqɐ sǝᴉɹɔ ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʇnq

SA: don't ever do that again.

ID: you're all fucking welcome.

SA: I can read it just fine but.

SA: no

AM:Talented, very nice babe. Incredible. Really. But I have one critique.

SA: thank you.

AM: Don't do that, as Prisma said honey.

II: I look away for a few minutes

ID: ˙ssɐ ɹnoʎ uo sʇoq ʎds ǝɥʇ ƃuᴉʇʇǝƃ ʇnoɥʇᴉʍ sƃuᴉɥʇ ƃuᴉʎɐs ɹoɟ pooƃ s,ʇᴉ uɐǝɯ ᴉ

SA: mine. simply means disdainfully superior. disdainful aide.

SA: can they not read it that way?

AM: Again, honey. Stop that. Really. ITS HORRIBLE.

DD: oh dear i am afraid my eyes are crossing far too much to read that right now!

II: Oh, I don't know, it has its own charm.

SA: Is it actually that hard for you to read?

SA: it's. easy.

ID: nah, they're all machines and junk pris.

DD: well not if i turn my palmhusk upside down!

SA: hm.

SA: i didn't even have to turn it upside down...

DD: which i am doing from now on when that comes up

II: Mine is quite to the point about my job.

DD: then maybe you are very talented sa! ^_^

ID: you get used to it.

ID: if you write like that all the time.

DD: it is difficult for me but i guess i could do it if i focused really hard its just a little bit bothersome at the moment because ive been up for ages and i just had a burger (with cheese like you said id!!!!) and i think i am experiencing what people call a food coma

AM: I dig it. Straight forward. Classy. Clean cut. Uhg. I could just LOSE IT but I won't I'm not the jealous type sweety. It's a good name Indrid. Keep it. Never change.

II: Well, possibly one day if I change positions?

II: I would like to be a colony law enforcement head.

ID: hahah, was it good dd?

DD: and ooh are we talking about quirks??

ID: tags and their meanings mostly.

ID: but my tag had to do with my quirk.

SA: there are. so many officers or officer related people here.

DD: it was super good!!!! i asked for it rare like you guys said and it wasnt as weird as i thought it would be though the lettuce was a lot crunchier than i expected and i really liked the pickles but i like pickled things in general

AM: A promotion? Change it. ASAP. In that Case honey. AM: DD where'd you get it from if I may ask? What was the rating of the place? Lots of people there babe? how about the ingredients were they fresh and non-GMO?

ID: along with the fact that i'm an oppositional jerk.

ID: wtf is a gmo.

ID: and why do i need none of it.

II: GMOs aren't so bad, though some companies are rather...mm, overbearing about their guidelines.

DD: i am afraid i do not know all of that am i was too tired to check very much and i am new to this town so i just went to the closest sandwich shop nearby and it was just a local establishment!

II: Genetically Modified Organism.

DD: also gmos are great!

AM: BAd things sweety. Not good. Bad news. Stay AWAY from the GMO if you want that waistline to stay TRIM.

II: ...

II: anyway

ID: i mean starvation keeps me pretty fucking trim.

DD: i mean i think you really are misunderstanding the nature of genetic modification but um

DD: oh dear

DD: starvation??

ID: from time to time dd, it happens.

DD: !!!!

DD: thats really distressing!

DD: why are you starving??

ID: .....

AM: Hadean. That's effcient. Do you like eating tho honey? I got some amazing things I could send your way from a GREAT subscription box from this ADORABLE startup company if you want any.

ID: because of a lack of food/money for food?

ID: i like not being called honey because it comes off as kinda fucking creepy to have a stranger calling me honey.

DD: yes please take ams food maybe i should send you some and oh dear i thought they meant if you liked honey as in the food i

DD: oh dear

DD: um!!!

DD: are you starving right now???

II: GMOs aren't necessarily unhealthy.

ID: nah i'm not starving right now.

II: They can be, but it's not a given.

AM: Got it babe. noted. Write here. Sticky note ready. You want the snacks or not though? They're TRENDING like MAD.

ID: i'm fine with. non trending.

ID: my lusus always taught me not to take candy from strangers and all that.

II: Your lusus sounds like a good parent.

DD: okay i am very happy to hear that and i know we are not really that familiar with each other but maybe do you think if you are ever starving you would be comfortable with messaging me because i know you were uncomfortable earlier but really in the end maybe being a little bit uncomfortable is better than starving and um

Am: I mean in that case I've got LOADs of garbage from last weeks delivery cause let me tell you, LET ME TELL YOU. They didn't get the memo that KALE not the next super food. So it's just....there uhg. I can't even look at it Hadean. Tragic

AM: You sure ?

SA: oh my god.

ID: wtf is a kale.

AM: Power Green.

II: An uninspiring plant.

AM: Truer words have never been spoken Indrid.

AM: Awful. Just Awful plant.

DD: do they pickle it??

AM: It's Dried Kale chips babe.

II: Well. I'm sure it inspires someone.. But I've never found it to be very tasty. Give me a lovely spinach and lettuce salad any night.

SA: it is usually roasted or sauteed or dehydrated.

DD: pickled seaweed is nice DD: also just plain salted seaweed

DD: oh

DD: i do not think i have ever had a dehydrated food ever

AM: You want these sweetheart? I dont want them in my SIGHT anymore. Uhg. just god. Eyesore

II: Perhaps I could force-feed them to prisoners as a form of interrogation.

DD: i am okay!! i just had a burger for the first time and i think that is enough adventure for now really

DD: also everyone is calling it gross so probably i would not like it

AM: Do whatever you want with them. but here. Listen. Just listen all of you. Let me...give you this charitable donation of these chips.

AM: I get them off my hand you get chips for free everyone wins.

SA: no.

ID: i'm gonna go ahead and pass.

II: Haha

II: In truth so must I, for I'm not even sure I would be there to pick them up.

II: I travel too much.

AM: Sure thing sweet cheeks. Anyone else? I have no qualms on tossing them I really don't but Halvea said I can't toss the box here at the office so I'm just sitting on it now.

II: They'd sit in my hive and my lusus would probably get into them.

II: Or Cyan, which would be terrible.

II: ...you know Halvea?

II: Or rather. Is that a tealblood Halvea?

AM: Honey I more than know her. She's my boss!

II: Oh. Interesting.

II: Are you a legislacerator too then?

AM: Oh god no babe.

AM: I'm the secretary.

II: Ah, I see.

II: I have met one of her neophytes, so I wasn't sure.

ID: =:???? the fuck is halvea.

AM: Her secretary. I'm not up and giving this skill of management to anyone.

AM: By the way.

II: She is a very enthusiastic tealblood legislacerator!

SA: Oh, halvea is.

SA: IJ.

AS: I believe.

SA: ignore that.

II: And yes, she goes by IJ.

ID: oh. that one.

AM: Yes correct again babes!

II: ...though, I do find it interesting she keeps a _purple_ secretary.

ID: i mean probably makes her feel fancy?

AM: Speaking of one second. Just sit tight I got some papers to give her. they came in. I hate them and honestly COULD and SHOULD shred them they're useless but she wants ALL her paper work apparently.

AM: BRB babes

II: Didn't you want to pursue a different career, AM?

SA: we're all booth babes now.

ID: you gotta wear the vent pants pris. =:P

DD: ooooh omg ive always wanted to be a booth babe

DD: just for a little while you know

DD: it seems fun!!

ID: i was a booth babe for a day.

DD: and you get to wear pretty clothes

DD: omg

DD: omg omg

DD: what did you wear??? was it fun??

SA: the day i wear the vent pants is the day i am lowered into my grave.

ID: i wore a hooker outfit and threw knives.

DD: vent pants are fun because they are really silly!

DD: and oh my goodness that is one terrifying professional model look

DD: what were you selling?

DD: did you stab anybody??

II: I'm assuming they did, given the fight.

ID: nah it was a contest on accuracy.

II: Oh, haha

II: Silly me

ID: the fighting came later!

AM: Alright honies I'm back. Uhg. And indrid sweety, listen. I do. I AM. I'm going to be the next rock n roll star just you see I've got some nice TUNES coming up honest.

SA: I almost won.

SA: I would like everyone to know this.

SA: since Hadean seem sto gloss over it was a contest with me in it.

AM: Oh? Deets honey. Deets.

ID: but i was the one who walked away with the giant monkey. =:P

II: Oh, that's a nice career. I do enjoy a nice rock ballad.

ID: ...i wonder what happened to that monkey.

II: ...giant monkey.

SA: yes but I was the one who got to cuddle the giant monkey.

DD: oooo DD: i have always been very impressed by accuracy and fighting in general i am afraid that i am not much of a fighter myself but i suppose it is not relevant to my profession really so it ends up okay

AM: Nevermind it sounds horrid.

SA: did... did you not get it from pheres's booth?

ID: it was a stuffed giant monkey toy.

II: Oh, I see

II: Wait, why did you get that for knife throwing...

ID: ...pris i have a broken arm. there was no way i was hauling it.

SA: because i bribed the owner.

II: Pfft

SA: yo could have told me, I would have gotten it...

SA: 😦

ID: i forgot, sorry.

DD: oh my goodness that all sounds like it was a lot of fun!

DD: and adventurous haha

AM: Damn. Cold honey. Cold. Need a shoulder to cry on or embroidered kerchief there prisma honey?

ID: i was gonna get it but then things got awkward at the stall anyways, sooo.

SA: I will cry on hadean or sipara if i require a cry, thank you.

SA: But I am incapable of crying anyways.

SA: so it does not matter.

SA: thank you.

AM: It's a waste of time anyway!

II: oh dear

AM: I like your style on that.

ID: what do you do when you get an eyelash in your eye. =:P

DD: oh my goodness

SA: I remove it with my fingers.

AM: You get the surgery to stop it or what babe? Let me know give me the numbers.

SA: what do you do>

SA: No.

SA: I was lobotomized.

ID: i curse a whole fucking lot and rub it until it gtfos.

SA: are you happy now.

AM: Ah. Intense.

DD: i cry a lot but its usually hard to tell because i am underwater though i suppose that will not be the case anymore but also not being able to cry sounds awful how do you express your emotions otherwise

II: Oh dear

AM: Sweety, DD. Never got your name by the way honey. You just. You know. Deal with it. Not then. Eventually. It's fine.

II: Are you all right, DD?

DD: i think i am not very good at dealing with it eventually instead of then but that is okay

DD: and what do you mean of course i am! DD: i am not crying now!

II: Well, I meant in general, but that's good to know

AM: You'll get the hang of it I believe in you sweety. Really. You've got potential there. That hue of yours. Comes with some NICE talents.

DD: and oooh that is right i was going to say earlier when we were taking about handles

ID: except for tears of joy over how good the burger was, obvs.

DD: hahaha i did not cry over that but i suppose it was pretty close! DD: it was a very nice burger!!

SA: that is a good thing to cry over.

DD: oh but yes my name is in my handle i am dazzle!!

AM: Hadean, have a sense of proffessionalism. Crying in PUBLIC is tABOO.

SA: your name.

AM: Good to mean you Dazzle. Really just. DAZZLING.

SA: is dazzle.

ID: uh when you're a fish you can do whatever the fuck you want in public.

DD: the daft is not part of my name that is just something my friend jokes about sometimes

DD: omg haha thank you am ❤ ❤

ID: you gonna tell a seadweller to stop crying in a store?

SA: they probably would honestly.

DD: and um yes my name is dazzle technically it is my last name but i think it is charming so i go by it anyways!

DD: my first name is laurel but that is not as fun

II: I think Laurel is lovely.

SA: laurel is preferable.

II: The flowers are very nice.

SA: but it is not my name.

II: But Dazzle is nice too.

AM: Laurel Dazzle. My, my you have just got LOADS of charisma dripping from everypore huh?

AM: I like it. Good name. I'll remember it. taking a REAL note of it babe.

DD: oh um DD: i mean i enjoy dazzle but if you dont like it you can call me laurel i guess i do not really mind that much

ID: daz it is.

DD: and oh my goodness i suppose i have a lot to live up to am!

II: Whatever makes you feel most comfortable!

ID: so we got daz, ind, and ash i guess.

DD: omg haha daz sounds lovely <3 DD: people dont call me that much anymore but when they did it was a friendly nickname so it is nice to hear again

AM: Ashley babe. make note of it back it's polite.

DD: but also i think i did not get your names sa and id!!

Am: Ashley. Honey. I like to keep a professional amount of distance at all times it's more comfortable that way babe.

ID: hadean.

AM: No ash.

DD: hadean!! DD: that is a very lovely name and i am happy to have learned it thank you!!

ID: keep calling me babe and honey and shit, i call you ash in return.

ID: dwi.

SA: "keep a professional distance" calls everyone ash.

SA: I mean.

SA: sweetheart.

SA: I'm. my phone is blowing up.

II: Dearest fellow castemate

AM:Fix that honey. I know the name of a GREAT guy to get that fixed for you. Trust me. Just PM sometime I'll give it to you. Shit we could get coffee sometimes Prisma babe. Anyway we'll talk later. what is it castemate hmm?

DD: is prisma sa??

DD: that is a very colorful name!! DD: prismatic even ❤ ❤

ID: yeah that's pris.

SA: ...

AM: The actual honey of the group HA.

SA: .........

ID: call him it pris.

IJ: Why are you harrassing people on your work hours.

SA: call him what.

ID: hahah, teal boss salvation.

ID: and ash pris. the only way he'll learn is if you annoy him with nicknames back.

SA: Oh no.

SA: I'm mad at DD.

II: Ah, hello Halvea.

SA: not Ashley.

II: Oh dear.

ID: oh.

ID: the name pun?

SA: it disgusts me.

II: Ah, I can see why it would.

ID: good ol' hadean. haven't had a pun yet.

AM: OOP

IJ: Hello again In>ri>. I am sorry if my accountant has been bothering any of you, he is quite a blabber mouth in an> out of person.

SA: bean.

DD: oh no wait what why are you made at me what did i do i am sorry

SA: we can call you. bean.

AM: ACCOUNTANT?

SA: sweetbean.

ID: bean isn't part of my name.

AM: Listen, honey. Halvea. PLEASE use a better title that's so STIFF.

DD: oh the name pun um!!!

SA: AND MATIC ISN'T PART OF MINE EITHER

SA: AND YET.

DD: i am very sorry i was trying to be friendly and i didnt mean to be offensive

IJ: When you stop calling me 'honey', how about that.

ID: there you go pris, he apologized.

SA: mmm

SA: thank you.

DD: i just meant you know prismatic is another word for colorful so mayb it would be nice to call you that but in retrospect it was tasteless so i will not do it again

II: ...it might be best if you stopped while you're ahead, Dazzle.

II: It is good to have apologized but usually less than preferable to ah, draw out the topic.

ID: so, uh. deep breaths pris.

II: I know you meant no harm, so let's leave it at that.

DD: oh um okay!! DD: i will shut up

ID: i will say it once more in this chat, i'm sorry should not be followed up with an explanation.

II: I concur with Hadean.

AM: Babe, Halvea. Come ON. Don't DO this right now please. I'm telling you look. Here I'll put the phone down huh? AM: Prisma, Indrid, Hadean, you sweethearts were digging my compan right? Dazzle sweety?

II: It certainly provided something new to the chat.

DD: oh i mean i was just DD: i mean i wanted to explain in case he thought i meant it maliciously not like DD: i mean DD: i DD: i am going to go back to shutting up now!!!

II: Oh, ah -

AM: Oh wow hm. Look at that.

AM: WELL-

IJ: I wasn't saying that you can't talk to others while working. I was explicitly talking about harrassing. Especially some of my fellow co-workers.

AM: Listen, sweethearts lets not drag on the illfeelings-- AM: Co-workers?

AM: Also I'm NOT harassing.

ID: i felt pretty harrassed at the amount of nicknames being spewn out around here.

AM: Hadean.

AM: Hadean you're not helping there bud.

IJ: In>ri> is one of my co-workers, yes.

AM: I offered you KALE Chips pal.

ID: which are apparently a shit food.

AM: OH-- ARE THEY? wow HAH. Oooh. Alright well. Here. I'll get them a coffee later when I get yours how about that? There bygones be bygones, honey.

AM: It's only shit because that fad FADED.

IJ: Kale isn't so ba>. It's also frie> Kale.

ID: man even in hot water you call the boss honey.

ID: i don't know whether to admire your gall or... pity your stupidity...

AM: LISTEN. HADEAN. PAL.

AM: I gladly invite you to SHUT.

SA: they were so sauve a moment ago.

ID: mmm, invite me to what?

AM: PRISMA YOU TOO CHUM

ID: more harrassment?

IJ: They seem to lose their cool aroun> me. For whatever reason.

AM: Please. Buddies. STOP

AM: I _am perfectly cool_

ID: sure you are ash bud.

AM: HEY. HEy here's a thought a good idea. An AWESOME IDEA. I get you that coffee Halvea. INDRID what kinds do you like.

AM: It's ASHLEY.

SA: it's like watching. a train. go off the track.

ID: uh-huh, i gotcha ash.

SA: are you quite okay?

AM: ITS FINE.

IJ: No bu>s in this chat room. Smoking wee> is still illegal in my juristiction

II: I greatly enjoy a nice caramel frappucino.

SA: w ... what.

ID: bud as in buddy there uh.

ID: ij.

AM: Yes. I get that Halvea but again I must state it's not a PLANT it's a WORD.

ID: what ash said.

AM: I'LL BE BACK. Coffe run. Haha. Important. Wow . Yep.

ID: =:)

SA: I thought those wre called joints.

ID: careful not to spill ash!

II: Oh dear, they seem upset.

II: Hopefully they recover.

IJ: Bu> is usually refering to a piece of the marijuana plant, that woul> then be groun> up an> smoke> in what is calle> a 'joint'.

SA: are you this pedantic about all words?

IJ: He'll be fine. I pay him by the hour.

SA: flower buds...

IJ: Someone has to keep the reins in check here.

ID: well we are allll fine upstanding citizens around here.

IJ: The excessive number of Ls in that sentence lea>s me to believe that you are full of shit, mister.

ID: really though if you can restrict him from being able to type honey somehow.

II: Oh, I'm sure ID is a stellar example of Imperial citizenship.

IJ: >oesn't make him any less full of shit.

II: Really? I've found him quite enjoyable.

ID: i can be full of shit and a stellar citizen!

ID: isn't life funny.

IJ: Either way, I can't restrict anyone from typing anything, but I can give him a socially acceptable punishment for >oing so in the future.

SA: public humiliation?

IJ: Either way, I can't restrict anyone from typing anything, but I can give him a socially acceptable punishment for >oing so in the future.

IJ: Not quite that, no.

ID: ....no more coffee breaks?

II: Gracious, Halvea. So what if the boy is a bit overenergetic? What are you going to do to him?

SA: remove his snapchat filters.

II: Ha

IJ: I am not going to give him a punishment too cruel to fit the crime we are talking about here, In>ri>

IJ: I'> mess with his computer if it wasn't a work computer.

ID: i say no breaks. gotta make up the time he spent dawdling on here. =:P

ID: he did a loooot of dawdling.

IJ: >espite his outwar> nature, Ashley usually >aw>les becuase he gets his work >one quickly. If not a bit haphazar>ly.

SA: so they are secretly very intelligent.

IJ: He's not incompetant, yes.

ID: just bad at listening to boundaries.

II: I hardly imagine you'd employ him if he was.

II: He _does_ seem like he could use a bit of advice on how to interact with strangers.

IJ: Perhaps if he keeps this up, I'll have him have to work un>er Sappho for a >ay. Make him run his legs instea> of his mouth.

II: Haha, that hardly seems a punishment to me, but she is certainly enthusiastic and would keep him on his toes.

ID: yeah never leave him alone with a valuable witness, he'd ruin 'em.

ID: unless he's part of the intimidation tactics i guess.

IJ: Maybe have him work in the gym for a few hours, then? Man>atory gym room time.

ID: never a bad idea to have him able to run when he needs to!

AM: Okay hey. I brought my phone to the shop and they messed up my order, bummer right? But listen so they're remaking it and Halvea sweety. They have a special. A SPECIAL. Don't hate me now but, look listen everyone EVERYONE will back me up on this. It's a limited edition Lestat special a Lestat's whatever who cares. Not super sure what it's about but it sounded NEW and EXCITING. SO I got it for you. There all is forgiven honey.

SA: ...

II: Isn't he one of those rainbowdrinker characters

SA: it never ends.

SA: does it

II: Gracious, and we already got into such a discussion about them

II: Haha

IJ: Can you tell me that in Alternian English, please.

II: Apparently in the world of marketing it does not.

ID: it probably means you'll be getting a jade and/or rainbow colored drink.

IJ: ... I sai> I like my coffee as black as asphalt.

AM: Listen. I know. but. Here are you following me?

AM: Follow this idea. I get you that...BUT

AM: I also get this.

ID: so ij. if you need a new secretary, i learn fast.

AM: A sort of...chaser.

AM: Hadean would be awful he doesn't know your schedule and he starves so honestly your secretary wouldn't be as fit or toned as requried. NOW THE ANYWAY. I got it and here I'll send a picture.

ID: i don't order awful hideous drinks so.

ID: and really starvation is the best motivation to do good at my job.

acousticMedusa sent LESTAT_HELLA_MARKETING.jpg. it's basically that unicorn frap but idk black berry and pomagranate colored instead

ID: ahahah oh wooowwwww.

ID: so ij i don't have a resume, is that fine?

AM: Shhh shhh listen. it's great. I heard it's great. There's SO MANY reviews on line. And it's GREAT for pictures and publicity.

AM: No it's not you unprofessional-- no it's bad.

AM: I had an EXTENSIVE resume.

AM: INCREDIBLE even.

ID: i mean i'm forseeing an immediate opening in the next few minutes so.

AM: You couldn't even triangulate the perfect restuarants to have for breakfast,brunch, lunch, midafternoon mimosas, AND DINNER I bet! It's very important okay. Meetings NEED places like those reserved in advance all within close distance to eachother to ENSURE it's not exhausting but far enough to allow a walk for digestion.

AM: DUH.

AM:_important skills Hadean babe_

ID: sink or swim world out there ash, i think i'll manage.

AM: not to mention where to go for closer drinks after!

AM: Ashley.

ID: mmhmmm. ash.

ID: leyley better?

AM: Too cutesy it doesn't go with my rocking and rolling vibe okay.

AM: Ashley.

ID: ..................................................................

ID: ..........................................

ID: ash.

AM: 👀

II: I once heard of someone with the nickname 'Ashling', but I suppose if you don't enjoy cute titles.

ID: shouldn't he be returning with your coffees.

AM: It would take a special sort of someone babe. Gotta stay professional, you and me. Halvea's laws.

ID: man i hope your whatever it is doesn't get cold ind.

AM: I brought a reusable thermos for Halvea's drink it'll stay hot as the suns above. I care about the environment HADEAN.

ID: i mean is there a themos for ind's drink too.

II: Ah yes. Extremely important.

AM: You have to plan ahead for this sort of work to be a proper secretary. And no theirs is a COLD beverage why would I ever put that in a thermos the whipped creme would get SLUDGY FAST.

AM: I strictly ordered theirs to come after mine which had to be remade.

ID: psst ind is yours a cold drink.

II: What if I wanted a thermos regardless.

II: What if I just love thermoses that much.

ID: some of us love sludgy cream!

AM: It should be it's a decent degreed day, and a nice ice drink perks on up at this hour-- I really would've appreciated that before hand Indrid. NOTED then. Babe really. Tragically sorry about that one won't happen again .

AM: No, no. No one does. It's just not. It's not kosher.

ID: ind he's saying you aren't kosher.

II: Hahahaha

ID: hella rude right there.

AM: Listen. hadean. Slander isn't a cute look babe.

II: I know. I am so deeply offended.

ID: i'm just translating what you're saying ash.

ID: stop offending the lady.

II: Hadean, ever defending my honor.

AM: WELL.

ID: i'm the valiant rust in shining armor right here.

II: Hahahaha

ID: trying to secure my new cushy secretary job.

AM: If you're unhappy I'll gladly bring you this businesses card. Call, complain, get a free sludge mountain. It's PEACHY KEEN BABES.

ID: i mean or she could call up ij and complain about you~

AM:ALL COOL.

AM: YOU SHUT UP OVER THERE.

ID: tsk tsk, all caps and everything.

AM: Don't you DARE.

ID: soooo rude.

AM: It's FINE BABE. AM: SWEETY BABES.

AM: Don't do thsi HERE and NOW.

ID: ind i'm gonna need to lodge a complaint.

II: Oh, goodness, and I was _just_ going to call Halvea and tell her all about how very sad I am.

ID: sweet serendipity!

AM: HONEY HADEAN. DARLING. LISTEN. There's time to scream until we're RAW in private but for NOW hey. Keep it PRO yeaH? YOu DIG?

II: Eerily mysterious, isn't it, Hadean

II: How fate aligns

AM: MMMM

ID: oh i'm alll pro ash sweety!

AM: Babey cakes. hadean. Kindly. Ever so kindly and gently.

AM: ACTUALLY

ID: you need to stop taking things so personal. =;)

II: Oh my, it _is_ getting personal isn't it

AM: I'm going to my desk. You can get your drink from my desk Indrid.

II: Gracious, I may _swoon_

ID: wow, can't even deliver the drink ind.

AM: I have to leave this establishment IMMEDIATLEY. BRB

II: I know, I am so put out.

ID: make sure to put that in the report.

II: Oh I don't think I need a full report, do you?

II: Merely a tragically written post-it note.

II: Displaying my sorrow.

LA: HEY WHAT'S GOING ON???

ID: oh god it's this one again.

II: I can't say I've met them before.

ID: well i guess with ash gone i gotta get my kicks somewhere.

LA: HEY THERE REDLEGS.

LA: WHAT'S UP?

LA: AW DAMN IT COW EYES ISN'T AROUND!

ID: redlegs. been called worse i suppose.

LA: GIVE ME A BIT AND I'LL COME UP WITH A BETTER NICKNAME FOR YOU.

ID: uh-huh. introduce yourself to ind you caps-broken dork.

LA: WHO'S II.

LA: IS THAT YOUR PATRON DEITY OR SOMETHING.

II: That would be me.

ID: uh the purple in the chat too.

LA: WHY IS YOUR PATRON DEITY PURPLE

ID: my patron deity is myself.

II: And haha, I am no deity.

ID: i'm fucking holy as fuck right here.

ID: bow down fuckers.

II: I suppose technically it would be the messiahs, but I am not particularly fond of them.

LA: I ONLY BOW TO TROLLS WHO CAN BEAT ME LA: WHICH IS A QUALIFICATION YOU HAVEN'T MET YET!!

II: ...I misread that

II: Anyway.

LA: A....MESSIAH..... LA: OH RIGHT SPRING FLING AND BOXCARS LA: THAT'S THEIR THING LA: IS THEIR MESSIAH BUSINESS.

ID: man you're a bright one.

II: Spring fling and boxcars?

LA: FRIENDS OF MINE.

II: Unusual nicknames.

ID: i mean i'm redlegs now so it seems to be their thing.

LA: AND BY FRIENDS I MEAN THEY BEAT ME EVERY FUCKING TOURNAMENT YEAR LA: LIKE ASSHOLES LA: MY FRIENDS ARE ASSHOLES!!!!!!!

II: Haha, oh dear.

LA: WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS LIKE

LA: ARE THEY ASSHOLES

ID: uh my friends are cool af.

LA: WHAT'S AN AF.

II: I have lovely friends!

LA: WHAT DO YOU GUYS TO WITH YOUR FRIENDS

ID: 'as fuck'.

LA: I HAVE BEEN INFORMED LA: THAT IT IS PROBABLY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT I DO WITH MY FRIENDS

II: Take them out to eat, or to some place we'd both enjoy.

LA: OH LA: WELL IF YOU WANT TO FUCK YOUR FRIENDS THEN GO AHEAD REDLEGS

LA: I WON'T STOP YOU

ID: uh we watch movies and eat and tonight sips brushed my hair out for me.

II: ...oh dear, no, that is not what that means

LA: >8C

ID: ughhh i think she's been hit in the head a few times.

LA: IT WAS ONLY ONCE!!!!

ID: once really hard maybe.

LA: WELL LA: OKAY YEAH IT WAS KIND OF HARD LA: BUT THE POINT STANDS

LA: SO YOU TAKE THEM OUT TO EAT LA: BY BRINGING THEM TO A DEAD CARCASS RIGHT?

LA: TO SHARE?

ID: ....no.

ID: we buy food and eat it like normal trolls.

LA: WHY WOULD YOU BUY FOOD???

LA: JUST KILL THAT FUCKER YOURSELF

LA: THERE'S PLENTY TO EAT

ID: because when i only want one burger i'm not gonna fucking slaughter the whole hoofbeast.

LA: WHY NOT?? LA: YOU SAVE THE MEAT FOR LATER AND IT MAKES A WEEK'S WORTH OF MEALS

ID: ...how do you save the meat.

LA: SALT MOSTLY LA: YOU SALT IT AND DRY IT

ID: and when i don't have a fuckass amount of salt laying around?

LA: OR FREEZE IT IF YOU HAVE A FREEZEBOX I GUESS LA: BUT I DON'T HAVE A FREEZEBOX WHEN IT'S NOT WINTER PERIGEE

LA: THEN YOU JUST WASTED A WHOLE LOT OF FOOD

ID: exactly, so i'll just buy the one burger instead.

ID: can't be wasteful.

LA: NEVER BUY YOUR MEAT LA: IT IS A WASTE OF MONEY

ID: i'll buy whatever the fuck i want. dwi.

LA: IF YOU CAN'T USE THAT SHIT THEN GIVE IT TO YOUR FRIENDS LA: TO ESTABLISH FRIENDSHIP

ID: i establish friendship with my fucking charisma and charm.

LA: WELL YOU'RE NOT VERY CHARMING LA: BUT YOU GET POINTS FOR CHARISMA

LA: MAYBE I'LL CALL YOU REDTONGUE INSTEAD

ID: that sounds like a fucking porn star name.

LA: WELL YOU JUST ADMITTED TO FUCKING YOUR FRIENDS SO

LA: IT WORKS

ID: saying af does not mean actually fucking.

LA: LOOK LA: I GET IT REDTONGUE

LA: SOMETIMES LA: YOU JUST HAVE NEEDS

ID: needs you do not satisfy with friends.

ID: that's what hookup bars are for.

LA: AND WHY CAN'T YOU SATISFY NEEDS WITH FRIENDS LA: THEY'LL KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE

LA: JUST WALK UP LIKE LA: HEY JIMJAM IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

IJ: Someone shoul> tell In>ri> that if someone is claiming a lawsuit against her, tell her I sai> "His case >oesn't stan> up."

LA: UGGGGGH LEGAL STUFF

ID: will pass the message on ij.

LA: I GET ENOUGH OF THAT FROM SHINYNUBS AS IT IS LA: NO LEGAL JARGON!!!

ID: sorry la, everyone's just working on a big case.

LA: A DUMB CASE!!!

ID: gotta get everything ready for the hearing.

ID: gotta file allll the orders.

ID: submit all the evidence.

LA: YOU'RE ALL THE EVIDENCE!!!

iD: brush up on their opening statements.

IJ: Turn the volume >own, ki>.

ID: i don't think she can.

ID: so i can only drive her out with legal jargon.

LA: WHAT VOLUME???

LA: THIS IS MY NORMAL TONE.

ID: did you submit your all-caps writing form.

LA: WHERE WOULD YOU GET YOUR KICKS IF I LEFT REDTONGUE

LA: FROM YOUR FRIENDS, PROBABLY LA: WINK WINK

ID: by abusing whoever else showed up.

ID: unlawful use of winking.

ID: that's a sentence for you.

LA: I WILL BE YOUR SPONGE OF ABUSE LA: I HAVE AAAAALL NIGHT

LA: ;) LA: WOW THAT FACE WAS DUMB I AM NEVER MAKING IT AGAIN

ID: do you have any witnesses you'd like to submit to the court la.

LA: YOUR LUSUS

ID: any evidence?

LA: WHATEVER YOUR LUSUS SHAT OUT TODAY

ID: i see, the verdict is...

ID: you're a fucking garbage can of a troll.

LA: IT'S A DROSS COFFER YOU DISTANT FUCK

ID: guilty on all charges, book 'em.

LA: YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT ME FIRST

LA: TO TAKE ME PRISONER

ID: they usually do fight.

ID: but that's what the stun batons are for.

LA: GOOD LA: BECAUSE I NEEDED SOME NEW TARGET PRACTICE ANYWAY

ID: someone drag this yellow carcass out of the chatroom so she'll stop making everyone leave.

LA: WHAT CAN I SAY LA: I'M A GIRL OF 1000 TALENTS

ID: the talent of being unbearable to be around, congrats.

LA: YOU'RE STILL HERE REDTONGUE

LA: YOU WILL SURVIVE THE WINTER.

ID: i have nothing better to do. unlike the hard workers of this chatroom.

ID: and ash i guess.

LA: SO YOU'RE NOT A HARD WORKER?

LA: WOOOOOW

ID: work smarter, not harder.

LA: WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO

ID: be amazing.

LA: BE MORE SPECIFIC!!!

LA: WHAT ARE YOU AMAZING AT?

ID: being terrible.

ID: and surviving.

LA: STILL NOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH!!!

LA: DO YOU SURVIVE BY FIGHTING OR PLAYING TERRIBLE MUSIC?

ID: mostly the fighting.

LA: BUT ARE YOU GOOD AT IT

ID: better some nights than others.

LA: LAAAAAME LA: JUST BE GOOD ALL THE TIME LA: EASY SOLUTION!!!

ID: gee, why didn't i think of that.

LA: YOU'RE SO LUCKY I'M HERE HEHE

ID: yup, soooo much better than everyone else i was able to have an alright conversation with.

LA: I LIKE YOU LA: WE'RE FRIENDS NOW LA: EVEN IF YOU SAY NO

ID: wowwwww.

LA: AND THAT IS THE LAW OF THE LAND

LA: YOU GRAB THAT BULL BY THE HORNS

ID: can i grab you by the horns and put you in a wood chipper.

LA: ONLY IF YOU CAN CATCH ME

ID: ....how about you go play the quiet game.

ID: i bet you can't win.

LA: WHY DON'T YOU GO PLAY THE QUIET GAME

LA: YOU'RE STILL TALKING TO ME

ID: man you're right. i'm outies.

LA: BYYYYE LA: I WILL TREASURE OUR FRIENDSHIP FOREVER

LA: SEE YOU AROUND REDTONGUE

LA: OKAY YOU CAN COME BACK NOW I HAD MY FUN LA: BUT I KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU WHEN I WANT TO SEE MY NEW FRIEND AGAIN~ LA: BE READY FOR ME BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN MY ARROWS WILL STRIKE

ID: wooowwww.

ID: i sure the fuck know how to pick them.

ID: ...though i guess i didn't pick her so much as have her forced on me. =:/

ID: man it's safe to come back folks. =:/

AM: Is it though, Hadean.

ID: of course~

ID: enjoying your horrible coffee concoction?

LA: ARROWS!!!!!!!!

AM: What do you mean horrible? I mean the first one was horrible, lords help me. But the second make was much better---

ID: =:I

AM: Another honey but one that needs to lay off the sweets.

ID: ...all coffee concoctions are horrible, duh.

AM: And pray tell, how did you come to that conclusion babe? I'm all ears. I'm clear for ten more minutes before I need to file a few things. Come one. Walk with me talk with me. Or well not walk we can't walk baby but HA you get metaphors right? Some good hyperboles? Shoot Hadean, shoot.

ID: i mean caffeine doesn't do anything for me so really it's all overpriced shit water to me!

RR: hey hey hey how's my favorite chatterboxers today

AM: Eegad what ungodly coffees are you drinking, honey? My god I'm telling you, just TELLING you right now, you listening? Listen. You. ME. I take you to a PROPER coffee house. We load you up with a shot of pure south eastern alternian espresso and you'll FALL IN LOVE.

RR: Whoa there RR: At least buy that expresso dinner first

ID: i mean no, caffeine literally doesn't work for shit on me.

AM: No babe, don't gotta it's pre wined and dined don't worry about it.

AM: We pay extra for it. Not a big deal.

RR: Damn that expresso is a cheap little diamond ain't it

ID: i get a few minutes of feeling weird and then it's pretty much gone.

AM: Ah. Bummer. Real bummer jeez. How the hell do you stay up? I mean I can't get through morning calesthetics without a good cup.

ID: the fuck is a calesthetic.

AM: And going to hot yoga without a mocha in hand? PLEASE. IMPOSSIBLE.

AM: Morning routinely exercises to get yourself limber.

RR: Dude do you live and die by a cup of java

RR: Kneel down and worship a coffee tree

AM: I do. It's important. I'm busy baby. Listen, you listening? Okay listen up. I need it! Everyone does. Gotta keep your machine of a body going with some electricity a good buzz babe.

AM: Without the worship.

ID: man i guess i've just been living life all wrong ash! thanks for opening my bulbs.

RR: Hey doll this is sounding like the real business RR: Hook me up with some of that jazz if you're offering

ID: oh my god is this a match made in the festuring chute of the mother grub.

AM:You're welcome Hadean. I'm glad we came to a good conclusion with this meeting I was scared it was going real sour you know? And that's just no good. How about we grab closure dinner sometime. I'll have my information forwarded to you sometime. AM: Of cours it's real business babe. I don't dawdle in fakesies 100% authentic inside and out honey.

RR: Aw Hads RR: Palerino RR: You gotta wake up and take a deep whiff of the mocha sometimes, you know?

AM: I'll send you my info too. I like your spunk, rusty honey.

AM: Coffee meeting all of us, it'll be great!

RR: Well beat me daddy eight to the bar RR: Where do I grab myself a cup

ID: uh-huh. you don't want to take me to dinner because of how fucked up i got you earlier do you?

ID: because if you think i'm not as bad, if not worse, in person you're dead wrong.

AM: Spicy. Don't believe it Hadsy but we'll see. Keep talking I'm listening I promise. PROMISE with a capital P you catching that? AM: RR let's get this on the right foot gonna need your name honey. Won't know what sort of suit I'm looking for without a name.

ID: uh-huh. jeesh ashy you just want me to dirty talk on the chat now or fucking what. nikola is too young for this sorta stuff.

AM: Nikola? Sharp name for a sharp troll. But listen. Is Hadsy there right Nikola pal? How young we talking? I can't meet up for coffee with interns you got me honey?

RR: Haha I ended up with the fabulous moniker oooof RR: Nikola

RR: Who are you boss

RR: Too young? RR: Hads man you don't even know how old I am

RR: I'm halfway to 9 by now

AM: Halfway to 9-- It's Ashley by the way Ashley Sireno. Mister Sireno's find kid.

RR: I ain't been 6 7 or 8 on the dot in a looong time

AM: You keep that head up highbuddy I'm sure you'll earn that closer meal some day.

RR: What business are you in boss RR: Sounds like a jitterbug of a career if you get to go on a coffee bender by the day

ID: man nikola act your age and stop eating expired snacks.

AM: Climb that ladder, buddy. It's a tough world but you keep that suit pressed and it gets better trust me. Make some connections good ones. Real good. And everything just FALLS into your lap like with me bud.

ID: hahhh. he's no boss.

AM: I'm a Secretary pal. Easy peasy.

ID: he's a glorified paper pusher.

AM: Hadsy. Buddy. Babe. Sweetheart.

AM: I do much more thanthat.

ID: i mean. job so easy a rust could do it, huh ashy boo~?

AM: I've even got a uniform.

RR: Hey nothing wrong with a desk job RR: It puts bread and coffee on the nutrition surface

AM: Oh I don't eat bread it's got too many carbs honey.

ID: you probably look hideous in it.

RR: It's a figure of speech doll

RR: I ain't talking literal bread

AM: I look GREAT actually. I'm not feeling the teal vibe honey but if I put a good neutral in with it and a pair of my valentino slacks it really comes together babe.

RR: Hot diggity damn I'm swooning over here

RR: Swooooon

AM: Oh I see. Good one Nik. HA. But no really I do this job to kill time. It's good to get outside. Meet people. Important things you know.

AM: Swooning?

AM: HAH. Bud. I know it's hard not to but Listen. You taking notes here? I think you're more fitted for your age bracket.

RR: What? A troll in uniform is a good look on anybody RR: Even ol' Hads over here

ID: i have no idea what valentino slacks are but i bet only tools wear them.

RR: Pffft man don't take it seriously

ID: and that they are...

RR: That's how I talk to everyone

ID: last season.

RR: OHHHHH RR: BURN

RR: And on tonight's show we take a gander at the sick flame war that's burning all across our great Empire

AM: Hadsy babe I throw out last seasons clothes every season. Don't you I mean it's...pretty natural?

AM: They get too worn and really it's just not worth keeping babe.

ID: uh-huh. people throw them out and you dig through their dumpster and pull them out and wear them.

II: I believe I may have just startled another passenger with my laughter.

ID: it's okay ashy babe, we all know now.

II: How many lowbloods have you met, Ashley.

AM: Hadean I don't think you can read well Babe I'm concerned. How are we gonna keep our lunch date now if you can't read the address honey???

AM: Uh

AM: Should I be keeping count?

AM: They're all pretty low on the rung usually, overly abundant really. It's a little hard to count them all.

II: ...

AM: Now TALKING to one that's a little fewer so I guess these two are the most recent babe.

II: ...oh _dear_

SA: we all know what now?

RR: Whoooa there it's getting pretty heavy on the wine in here RR: Don't know how we're handling this berry platter

ID: ahahahah yep i'm gonna break ashy's nose for him.

SA: 🖤?

RR: Hey hey RR: Nobody gets a fight here unless I get to add live commentary on the show

II: I shall politely look in the other direction.

ID: he can have an overabundance of blood clogging his nose holes.

RR: I'm picturing it now RR: Special tonight: The rustbucket and the secretary go to war RR: It's a battle of the wits! RR: Who'l be the top dog tonight? RR: Tune in to find out!

SA: or just 🥊

AM: My nose? Hadean sweety I dont think you can afford the bill! Besides I'd rather you didn't honey I've got great symmetrical features as is I need to upkeepthat.

ID: nikola did you even comment on my last fight.

RR: Oh wait that was you wasn't it

ID: nah, kiss your straight nose goodbye.

AM: Oh the real honey comb is back. Hi darling.

RR: Uh RR: So how IS your arm doing?

SA: I'm back and my attempts a code communication are being ignored

ID: i already got ii's blessing.

SA: I even though this one through

ID: 🥊

RR: I missed some of it because I was kind of distracted helping keep Lokkic's friends from black killing each other so

SA: 👌

AM: that's not physically possible honey but listen I wouldn't really recommend that. Maybe instead we could listen to tunes sweetie? I'm GREAT at the guitar.

RR: Hey, there's always room for music on the show

SA: oh no. Once you start a fight with Hadean there is no escape.

ID: i'm breaking your nose.

SA: only confrontation and pain.

ID: it's happening.

II: I'm afraid the fight must be carried out

II: Binding legal contract

AM: No.

ID: scared?

AM: Absolutely not you'll hear from Halvea about that contract!

ID: poor little purple.

II: Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind me borrowing you for a little demonstration in law.

ID: oh! ij said there's no case ii.

AM: Hadsy I'll show you how little I'm NOT.

AM: Wait what

ID: i was supposed to pass the message on.

SA: Hadsy... wow.

SA: 😂

AM: No, no you're wrong. Haddy honey it's fine. You misheard.

ID: no i did not.

ID: straight from the teal lips to my ear.

II: Gracious, are you disgracing Hadean's trustworthiness?

AM: Horrendous. Just Horrendous. Lies.

II: I am abashed.

ID: that'll earn him another nose hit.

SA; Ashley just cease speaking and accept your fate.

AM: I wanted a simple lunch date now this. Saddening. really I thought we could have a good business talk. Maybe get you a tie and a REAL artisan meal, look at your portfolio but wow. Bodily Threat. Awful.

AM: Prisma sweetheart I can't.

AM: In all good consciousness.

ID: i'll steal your tie when i'm done beating you up. it's fine.

ID: i mean ii is this the backbone your company wants to show?

II: What are you going to _do_ with that tie, Hadean

II: Haha, Halvea and I don't work for the same firm

SA: wear it with Emerel shirt presumably

II: I work for Stanse Advoco, not her.

SA: there nothing else to wear it with

ID: he won't accept a fight from a rusty. i think his boss should know his cowardice.

II: I know her through one of her acolytes, Sappho Wilcox.

AM: M...My tie?

II: It _is_ somewhat unbecoming of a purple to not take a challenge.

ID: it surreee is!

SA: Ashley if you pay me a suitable amount I'll fight Hadean for you as your champion

AM: It is real silk from the Prada line --And I never said no to a challenge just questioning the sanity of it!

IJ: >on't kill my accountant, please.

AM: Oh honey that's real cute but I don't quite swing to that tune. I dont need a cronie.

II: Oh, we would never dream of it.

ID: i won't kill him!

II: Merely challenge his skills a little.

ID: just break his nose!

SA: I think the consensus is he's doing it himself

RR: Hey ash stop by my hive sometime if you're bringing coffee RR: It ain't nothing fancy but it's guaranteed you won't get beat up there

RR: Honestly it might be your best hiding place

SA: I'm not a cronie

IJ: I was able to get him for cheap, I >on't want to sen> him in for repairs.

SA: well now you're on my shitlist too, Ashley

AM: I might take you up on that, we need to get you properly suited up. I don't hide tho bud. AM: I am not cheap Halvea.

ID: a broken nose wouldn't affect his performance.

II: Hahaha, oh dear

ID: hahhh. cheap!

RR: Ohhhh baby now you're on the shitlist RR: That's some real serious business right there

AM: I didn't even do anything babe! Hads is stealing MY tie for devious deeds babe

II: Whatever did a purpleblood do to come for cheap?

AM: Listen. Listen. It's not cheap pay.

ID: i challenged him to a fight and he's backing out. so probably his cowardice affects his pricing.

SA: 😂

AM: I'm NOT backing out hadsy Honey.

IJ: He looked like he just got out of schoolfee>ing so I thought it woul> be nice to give him a job.

II: Oh, that was very kind of you, Halvea.

ID: great ashy! i'll get to teach you a lesson in lowblood relations!

AM: You want a sample of these tunes you'll get them.

AM: I hope you're ready for a good rolling Had babe.

AM: Wh- HALVEA.

SA: wait

ID: ahahahahah

SA: Hadean what is the matter with you you have a broken arm

ID: he's still wet behind the ears that's pathetic.

ID: it'll heal on the way pris!

SA: when are you scheduling all this

SA: on the way to where? Where does Ashley live?

AM: Oh I've got time between the next filing and a fax. Come on sweetheart let's DANCE.

ID: sorry ashy babe, you're gonna have to wait for your asskicking.

IJ: You are not getting bloo> on the fax machine.

RR: Well I'd love to stay and talk RR: But I've got a show to run and scripts to write RR: Tune in later! RR: See you around folks

II: Those _do_ take forever to clean, it's true.

SA: goodbye strange radio individual

II: I remember when the photocopier got gummed up. Terrible.

AM: Toodles Nikola.

ID: bye nikola, you rust traitor.

AM: I'm not fighting ON the fax machine honey. What implication are you getting at here HUH? I'm saying we go outside. I bring my guitar we have a jam sesh.

II: ...a music duel?

II: Oh my, that's novel.

AM: Oh no honey.

SA: I am going to die of embarrassment

ID: give those sweet coords ashy babe, i'll swing by special for you in a few nights~

SA: do not

SA: he can't fight anyways.

EB: I wxuldnt advise getting dxwn and dirty with the fax machine EB: She pxsts the results everywhere yxur superixrs are lxxking

II: ...gracious.

ID: i can too pris. hush. i'll heal on the wayyy.

AM: A few nights? I'll be beyond warmed up by then BABE. Bring your best HADSY.

SA: it will not. And even if it does, your psionics and such are still ruined, aren't they?

ID: nah i charged up.

IJ: Psionics aren't the only thing that's ruine> right now. I >i>n't nee> this look into my accountant's hatelife.

SA: regardless there's no point chasing down an indigo at a legislcerators office just to break their nose

EB: Sxunds like i walked intx the event xf the sweep EB: Where dx i buy tickets

II: Haha oh my, Halvea.

SA: you missed it it was last week

ID: hope you like psi ashy!

II: You are certainly quite open about poor Ashley's inclinations.

EB: I missed it EB: Well damn give me a rundxwn here mellx yellxw EB: Yxu cant keep me in the dark xver here

AM: Halvea please it's not that raunchy. Just a bit of a duel. HA.

SA: I swear to god Ashley if you give him your coordinates

EB: My pusher dxesnt dx well with suspense yxu knxw

II: Oh, nothing has happened, EB

II: But it might

AM has sent AlleywayBY GOOD COFFEE SHOP .coords

ID: yessss.

SA: I'm telling Sipara to keep your dumbass home

EB: Xhhhh shit EB: Stream that fight sxmebxdy

ID: sips cannot stop me.

IJ: Just please, >on't kill him. Then I'd actually have to kill you. An> that'> be unfortunate.

ID: no killing!

II: I'm sure Hadean will be careful.

AM: No killing.

SA: that's what you said about the duel with Emerel

AM: Just some good tunes Halvea. I love playing for others you know that honey.

ID: and em only kinda died pris!

SA: which was "aalso just good fun"

SA: you almost died you fuckwit

EB: Xnly kinda died EB: It happens all the time

EB: I remember last time it happened tx me EB: It was a great day really

ID: almost! it's fiiine.

SA: 🙁

AM: Yeah honeycomb. C'mon it's just a little play.

AM: Just sit back, relax have a listen babe.

AM: And throw some fists.

EB: Yeah buddy its xnly almxst EB: What fun is life if yxur friends dxnt almxst die

SA: no. He's had plenty of play and it wrecked his arm and scared his friends half to death.

ID: i'll heaaalll.

AM: You jealous there honeycomb ?

ID: it's just a purpleblood pris.

SA: and let me not remind you what you felt during that fight that I also felt

EB: Better dx a better jxb xf keeping an eye xn him then

SA: because it wasn't any sort of good fun

II: Well, to be more specific, it is Ashley.

ID: well i'll repay you by feeling smug when i break his nose!

SA: I'm not jealous of anything.

SA: if you go there I'm going with you

IJ: Oh, >on't ruin his uniform either. At least make sure it stays in one piece.

AM: Oh? You two tied or something Hadsy? Listen babe. I'm up for a round but you do gotta let a boy know these in advance.

ID: a little bit of blood is fine tho?

EB: This is warming my pumper xver here EB: Real txuching friendship

AM: I'll take it off before Halvea. Listen. I got it special. I dont plan on ruining my few teal jackets.

ID: it's fun if he sees the stain and remembers i wrecked him.

IJ: >on't tell me about your hate life.

SA: Yes. Only if you wreck him

ID: and a good reminded to not underestimate anyone to boot!

SA: which you won't

AM: I'm getting wrecked?

SA: because I'll be holding you back

ID: you're totes getting wrecked.

AM: So both of you will be there then?

ID: no holding me back pris, this is h a p p e n i n g .

EB: Except yxur friendship is getting wrecked by the purple guy EB: This is turning intx a real mxvie plxt here EB : Any xf yxu ever think xf gxing intx acting

SA: it's not happening

AM: Hell honey it'll be a real moshpit won't it?

SA: you aren't completely healed and you won't be for longer than it will take to get there

ID: i heal quick pris, i proooomise.

AM: Halvea I request an evening off for a few hours to do this in a few nights!

SA: excuse me, my what is getting wrecked?

EB: Id prxvide the mxshing music but i cant even scream right EB: Shit xutta luck xn my end

AM: I got the pipes for all genres babe I got it covered.

SA: hadean

EB: Awesxme nxw all yxu have tx dx is sell tickets

ID: so punch you in the throat as well as the nose, got it.

AM: listen. Babe. Prisma. Take note, get yourself a pen and paper. NOTES. It's fine. Chill we're not grubs right?

AM: A simple meeting of the minds. thats all sweetheart

SA: you shut up

IJ: As long as you >on't come back >ea> I guess. Takes up one of your sick >ays though.

ID: yeah pris, we're meeting up for a quick lil fight.

ID: ...and when i win i'm taking his tie and his wallet.

EB: Xhhhh its getting hxt and heavy in here EB: This might just turn intx a prxper blitz yet

SA: again. This is exactly. What you said about Emerel.

SA: we learn from the past, Hadean.

AM: That's fine I'll pencil it into my calendar then! Hadsy promised no death so nothing to fret over. Besides Halvea honey I've got this. Have any of my songs disappointed HM? I could bring so much peace after a bit of tussle after one.

SA: 😰😰😰

ID: i learned not to fight in a ring where you have to play by the rules.

ID: this is an alleyway fight!

ID: this is my jam.

SA: that is even worse.

SA: because you weren't even using rules in the other ring.

AM: It's by my FAVOURITE SHOP don't worry Prisma baby.

AM: We'll get a good cup, some mineral water after. Right as rain.

EB: Yxu knxw

SA: don't tell me not to worry. You didn't see him after the first fight.

ID: i was far more concerned about not messing emerel up. that counts as rules.

EB: I think there's sxme miscxmmunicatixn xn whx is fighting where here

SA: and then you killed him

AM: Press Hadean's shirt. Look I'll take good care of your boy here honey.

ID: that fight was a fluke. this one'll be better.

EB: Are yxu breaking faces xr drinking fancy xverpriced water

II: Why not both

SA: Ashley is too pretentious to say fight in conventional terms

AM: both sweetheart. Doing both. It's business you wouldn't understand.

EB: Sxunds like business where yxu get ripped xff fxr water tx me

ID: and i'll use the pretentiousness and stick his instrument up his chute! everyone wins.

EB: What even makes high class mineral water different from well drinks

ID: except ashy.

ID: he loses.

SA: it doesn't matter! He's a damn indigo he is by nature pretentious

II: Well, thank goodness I escaped.

EB: Whxa there remind me nxt tx get xn yxur bad side

AM: I'm not pretentious I simply know where I belong and FIT IN babe.

AM: Conforming isn't so bad sweetheart.

SA: will you please just listen to the reason of something other than your fists and temper.

EB: Yxu fit in exactly where yxu shxuld fit in

EB: With the pretentixus

SA: for five seconds.

ID: i'll make your nose conform to my fist!

SA; at the very least until you are completely healed.

AM: I'd like to see you try, Had honey! See if you can even still do it after a few notes. I promise you'll just love my headliner~

SA: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP

EB: Uh ID EB: I knxw I'm a stranger and all but I think yxu shxuld dx sxme listening tx yxur buddy there EB: He sxunds pretty wxrried abxut yxu

ID: fiiiine. i'll wait a week and then i'll be good as new.

AM: Not a business partner of my babe. It's fine. Maybe we can reconnect these business relations after.

EB: And like hell alsx break sxmething sx dx that listening thing

ID: ash! gonna reschedule your nose surgery in a week.

AM: After some long talks and deliberation.

AM: You are going no where near my nose!

SA: 😰

AM: Just go for I don't know an ear babe, it's hip to have crooked ones now, or like an ankle.

ID: if you're a real good boy i'll smash it flat for you.

AM: I hope you dig long naps sweetheart.

SA: Hadean...

AM: Prisma babe listen. We know how this debate whent and what shares he's buying tonight.

AM: The stock market is closing babe.

AM: And the totals are in.

SA: I don't care what you say you are utterly irrelevant

AM: We're having the funds withdrawn in afew days while they're at all a all time HIGH BABE.

SA: you are some prissed up high blood picking unnecessary fights for your vain ass ego

AM: A done deal.

SA: sit down and shut up

EB: Xkay wxw EB: Just stxp grapeseed EB: I live fxr drama and im getting a headache listening tx yxu

ID: don't worry pris, i'll give him an extra kick for you.

AM: Not stopping now honey. Listen EB you wouldn't understand this talk either. So calm down for a bit and sit back and watch?

II: ...your condescension is not helping matters, Ashley.

EB: I understand the sweet sweet xdxr xf bullshit

EB: Yxu smell like a whxle lxt xf bullshit friend

II: You do know everyone here can understand you perfectly well, yes?

AM: I smell like Dior no. 55. EB.

SA: you don't need to do anything for me except remain in one piece until you are better, and then some.

EB: Fxr the recxrd I'm in training right nxw purple guy EB: I understand plenty enxugh tx knxw when i see a man well xn his way tx getting his ass kicked

EB: Man i cant wait

ID: i'll be in one piece in a week pris. you'll see.

ID: i'm sturdy.

EB: And yxu EB: Shut up and listen tx yxur yellxw friend and stxp being stupid EB: Yxure gxing tx kill the pxxr guy frxm stress

AM: You were so excited a second ago? Wanting a refund now babe? Bad choice honey a lot of returns aren't honored anymore. Bad business practice.

II: I don't think that will exactly make him inclined to listen to you, EB. I trust Prisma and Hadean to settle this themselves.

EB: Xh believe me EB: If i feel like getting a refund EB: Ill get my refund EB: And yxu wxnt ever see it cxming ;)

SA: it doesn't matter how sturdy you are, we know that. Save your battles for when they matter. Not some chai drinking nobody secretary.

EB: Well cxnsidering i appear tx have walked intx a chat full xf angry kids

SA: at least apply a logical value to it

ID: chai drinking nobodies are fun to fight.

ID: that's my logic?

SA: youve never fought one

ID: i've fought lots of nobodies!

ID i just never asked if they drink chai.

SA: and it didn't do anything for you except get you on someone's worthless shitlist!

AM: I am far from a nobody babe.

AM: Just saying.

ID: you're below a nobody, lbh.

SA: nobody cares what you are assclown

AM: ASsclown...HA

ID: please pris, it's ashclown.

AM: Oh that's rich. Try better babe. I wanna hear the next one from Hadsy unless he wants to be a coward like he called me earlier for not wanting to in the first place.

SA: he isn't a coward

AM: There you go had honey.

SA; he's smarter than this, though

SA: and he knows it I'm sure

AM: is he honeycomb?

AM: He called me a coward for not wanting to ruin my slacks and goated me on. I think he wants a concernt.

ID: ....i mean pris this is what i do like. alll the time.

AM: So I'm accepting. I scheduled it and i've got a sick day off.

EB: Whx wants pxpcxrn

SA: I know it's what you do presumably all the time. I've known you long enough to use deductive reasoning

EB: Because i think we need sxme pxpcxrn in here

SA: but that's no reason to go chasing after it after you've already gotten hurt this once, even if you will be better "in a week", which you won't

ID: hope you have more sick days, you might need them to fix your snout~

ID: i will too.

SA: I'm going to slap the shit out you

AM: Won't be needing them babe, trust me. Good business men always have trump cards honey.

ID: no you won't. =>:I

SA: 😰😰😰

EB: Hey grapeseed EB: Yxure a man whx likes tx dx business right

SA: please

EB: I have a prxpxsitixn fxr yxu

AM: And what's that anonymous babe?

EB: Xf the business variety

ID: pris. i'll be fine. will nightly progress reports of my wounds make you feel better?

EB: Yxu cxme and tangx with me and my buddy. EB: Yxu win, yxu can gx at whxever yxu want after, including this guy. EB: We win, fight with him is xff.

ID: what? no!

ID: fuck off eb, this is my fight.

SA: only a little. I don't want you running off to fight some random member of this chat, again, just so you can potentially get hurt badly again.

EB: Excuse me im dxing business deals xver here

AM: I don't want a go for sport babe. This is deeper at this point. I've got a strong connection here with Hadsy. A business one. Look at us. This level of BUSINESS CASUAL we've moved past last names even! Listen honey. I've got this scheduled for him but you show me your MOXIE and I'll consider it.

EB: Sx yxure scared to take xn a pair xf little lxwblxxds EB: Wxw

EB: Yxur ancestxrs are smiling xn yxu

AM: Oh babe no not scared.

AM: I'm making sure my meetings don't overlap. You understand right busy schedules.

AM: I'm not rejecting you babe I'm storing your resume for later honey.

EB: Uh huh EB: Sx yxu cxuld take a sick day fxr him EB: But nxt fxr us EB: Hxw predictable

EB: I guess yxu just dxnt have it in yxu tx make a gxxd schedule

AM: I've known him longer honey. Nothing personal. I don't even know who you are gimme a name sweetcheeks.

EB: Eberic

ID: eberic fuck right off.

AM: Eberic...alright I wrote a note. Pen to paper right here stuck it on my computer.

AM: But I really do have to give little HaHA dibs first here though honey you understand right?

EB: Yxud best make time fxr me grapeseed EB: Because this guy wxnt be up fxr anxther week

EB: Whereas me EB: Ready anytime

ID: ash bash is sooo on.

AM: You do make a good argument Eberic babe. You got a rebuttle for your tardiness Haddy?

ID: eb is just doing this out of some sort of pity towards me.

ID: and isn't actually doing it for any hateful motives.

ID: they're playing you.

EB: Dxnt flatter yxurself babe

AM: Do you need pity honey?

EB: I aint dxing this fxr yxu

ID: i don't, but they think i do. which is sadddd.

AM: I mean you DID have your ...I think underling try to talk you out of this? You let your cronies talk for you babe?

ID: and fuck off eb, i called dibs anyways.

SA: what's sad is if Ashley goes too far I can crush his trachea by thinking about it.

ID: prisma is his own troll and-

AM: you got good ears Prisma honey?

ID: pris.

EB: I dxnt even knxw yxu EB: But i figured since xur esteemed highblxxd is willing tx fight EB: I cxuldnt pass up the xppxrtunity tx see hxw great he is in persxn

SA: 😨

ID: he's a shit highblood that i'm going to beat up.

EB: Im first up xn the schedule man EB: Let me take this xne

SA: don't goad him for having friends that care about him.

ID: fuck no. fuck off eb.

AM: AHA

SA: I know Hadean could fuck you up if he wanted to. He's a psion. You're below us.

ID: #psimasterrace

AM: You think you're so high and mighty for lowblood poor bred powers babe! I'd rethink that strategy if I were you babe.

SA: poor bred

SA: oh.

EB: Exactly why yxu shxuldnt waste yxur time with him EB: And instead shxuld thrxw a little nxd my way

SA: 🤷‍♀️

SA: It's fine.

SA: I don't actually mind all that much.

SA: literally.

ID: see, this is why i'm breaking your nose.

ID: that way. for the rest of your loooong life.

SA; Hadean

AM: Bring it babe.

ID: you can look in the mirror and remember the rusty smashing you. =:)

SA: at least tone the vitriol back some please

SA: I'm exhausted this is hard for me

SA: you would know that

AM: Nah I need to know his play by play honey. Let my competition spill their secrets.

ID: go to bed pris. I'm obviously not rushing out to fight him tonight. we agreed in a week!

SA: I cannot rest knowing there is something I must do.

ID: all you have to do it go to bed pris.

SA: and I don't know what will happen if I leave. He is determined to keep escalating this despite getting what he wants.

AM: I hope you're ready to get rocked haddy honey.

AM: Haha

AM: Man this is the best business day I've had in ages babe, listen you're a fun toy I like this.

SA: he isn't a toy

ID: woowww i'll rock your nose with a brick.

II: ...you are being rather rude, Ashley.

EB: Dude just listen tx yxur buddy EB: Hes nxt telling yxu tx back xff because yxu suck even thxugh yxu dx EB: Hes dxing it because he dxesnt want yxu hurt again EB: Since that scares pexple whx like yxu

AM: ✨ Indrid honey for you. I'll see the light and tone it down a knotch.

II: I do appreciate it.

ID: pris and i made an agreement eb, it's fine.

EB: Sxunds like he dxesnt agree

AM: I'm just so ...on air did you read that? I'm meeting a ruffian for a coffee concert. I'm having a ball babe. A bit of something to spice up the agenda.

SA: we talked about it.

II: Oh, I understand. It's all new and exciting.

SA: I still don't approve.

SA: but I trust him to be careful and less reckless than last time. 😰

ID: see? allll fine.

AM: We'll be careful babe. See all safety precautions. I'll bring a med kit. It's fine sweetheart.

AM: Good aftercare.

ID: bring lots of gauze for your snout.

SA: if this ends in 🖤 you're both dead to me

II: Gracious.

II: I certainly hope not.

ID: do nooot worry pris.

II: This is not how any good pitchrom starts.

ID: i'm not desperate.

II: Ha

SA: 💚😂

AM: Oh babe don't go planning my future for me. I haven't finished getting together everything for Halveas fiscal quarter even yet.

II: I can see how that might strain you.

SA: actually Ashley I am a clairvoyant.

SA: I can read your future.

II: Does his nose break.

SA: very easily, actually.

II: I ask out of only morbid curiosity.

AM: Haddy you better dress nice babe.

AM: It's bad to show up to a meeting in business casual.

AM: Otherwise I'm going back to work.

SA: 🤷‍♀️

ID: oh i'll have something special for you~

SA: you don't have anything nice to wear.

SA: at all

SA: don't lie

AM: ❓

SA: now you'll have to wait until we go shopping.

SA: 👍

ID: oh yes i do~

SA: ...

AM: !! Exciting honey. I'm just TICKLED....well not pink that's not my hue and really babe listen, a bad expression. Blase even. i hate it. So here instead I'm just babe, i AM bursting in blackberry hues. Eh, we'll workshop it honey we'll get the best team on the job for that one. Don't forget make up haddy. An a good slick back hairstyle is good.

ID: i have ass-length hair.

SA: you're tacky and I hate you

AM: That isn't professional.

AM: I can trim it while we duel babe.

AM: Or after ! I can take you to my favourite new burlesque barber shop.

AM: It's very new, very popular.

AM: Great ratings online.

ID: my hair is prof af.

AM: Is it for pulling babe? because that's what that comes across as in a fight, plan smarter honey I don't want this to be easy.

SA: no hair pulling.

SA: at this point I may as well say "no" every minute it would More or less suffice the entire conversation. It isn't going to change for the next hour.

SA: you aren't going to say anything new. Or unique.

SA: I don't even have to look at my phone...

ID: hahhh. you can try to grab it, but it just gives me more openings to break your nose.

AM: Haddy sweetheart want to make this private? Coordinate a bit babe. Less confusion the better.

ID: aww pris intimidating you? alright honeygrub, we can go where the big bad pris can't snark at you~

AM: Sweetheart he's just not with this company's vibe is all.

SA: no

AM: Bringing the vibes down.

AM: Like that.

SA: and you're ruining my evening but we can't all get what we want.

II: Personally I think Prisma has an applaudable amount of sense, but I am merely a bystander here.

SA: I appreciate this.

II: I do my best.

SA: Hadean don't leave this chat

SA: don't do it

AM: Indrid what happened to good old fashioned caste solidarity babe?

SA: it quits existing when you're an insufferable prick.

SA; even your castemates are embarrassed by you

II: I believe I can be quite capable of supporting my caste and others at the same time.

II: I am talented.

ID: pris it's fiiine. i'm not going anywhere tonight.

AM: I know you're talented honey. I won't argue that of course. Why would I? I have no reason to.

ID: even if i did i'd never reach the city to fight him tonight anyways!

SA: I meant verbally in a private chat but that as well

AM: I just want a smidge of back up maybe, sweetheart.

ID: indrid do you want any of my punches to be dedicated to how many times he's called you annoying nicknames?

SA: i feel as if indrid has wisely washed their hands of this

II: I've heard far worse, really. _Much_ more embarrassing. I don't mind.

ID: well imagine how sad they'll sound with his snout broke!

AM: 😃

ID: ps make sure that everyone at the firms know he got it broke by a maroon would you?

AM: I wouldn't.

AM: I'll say I tripped babe.

ID: i was talking to ind.

AM: I'm rather beanpole-ish it's believeable.

ID: not you ashy~

II: Well, Ashley, I do suppose it _is_ my place to assure you that I will think no less of you if you lose.

SA: he's not even going to acknowledge the fight, why bother.

ID: shocker, the world does not revolve around you~

AM: Oh there's no losers here sweetheart I'll assure you of that.

II: Oh?

II: Interesting.

AM: Indeed right?

ID: he'll acknowledge it to himself every night pris.

II: I confess you _have_ piqued my curiosity.

SA: impossible you know they have insurmountable disbelief

SA: Hadean you should rest. You have to heal.

ID: ...pris. you can't disbelieve a broken snout.

ID: i'm up to speed heal pris.

AM: I'm glad to hear that Indrid I'll leave your wit to fill in the blanks of what I mean however honey.

II: A man of mystery, hm?

ID: a man of shitty fashion sense and narcissism.

ID: ftfy.

SA has sent IMG_049.png. It is him, making the saddest harp seal eyes imaginable. For him, at least.

AM: I can't lay everything out on the table yet, honey. Like I said trump cards!

AM: What is this.

AM: Babe is this you?

ID: priissssss.

II: Oh, well, I suppose that's fair.

SA: Hadean.

ID: i didn't even know your face could make that. face.

II: I _do_ expect grand things now, though.

AM: As you always should!

SA: what do you mean is it me?

II: Gracious, you DO look upset, Prisma.

AM: It's uncomfortable.

SA: it can if I focus extremely hard. But only voluntarily.

II: Should I? That sounds exhausting. Whatever would I do if I were constantly waiting for something momentous to occur.

SA: my natural expressions are minute and subtle. I do not respond to emotional stimuli facially.

II: I would constantly be anticipating the next thing. Eventually I would become numb to it all.

AM: Is it picture sharing hour now honies?

II: It was earlier actually.

AM: Darn i was out getting coffee.

AM: Ah well.

II: I feel I shouldn't recycle the selfie I used before, and I look too tired right now to take a good one.

AM: Another surprise for Haddy I guess?

AM: indrid please we both know that's a lie but do as you want babe.

AM: I could also bring you concealer.

II: Haha, aren't you a flatterer.

AM: And makeup and some eye cream and a cucumber mask?

ID: pshhh you'll get to look at my face when i'm beating yours in.

II: That does sound nice.

II: But I'm on a train right now.

AM: Bummer honey.

SA: actually they won't be able to as the eyes close on reflex to protect themselves

AM: You're just so sure of yourself that you'll get the first hit huh babe?

AM: It's cute really.

SA: Ashley if your ego were any bigger I am certain your own reflection would murder you

ID: ahahahahah.

AM: Or something else babe but I'm at work and I feel Halvea has a 3rd sense for everything I do.

ID: i'll get in the hits that count, don't worry~

SA: how is this still entertaining for you both

SA: how are you not bored

SA: you have what you want. Shouldn't that be the end of it.

SA: until the due time

AM: Are you jealous prisma honey?

SA: I don't feel jealousy.

AM: edgy...

SA: what part of lobotomizes fails to reach your mind.

AM: you should market that I hear that's really selling now

SA: I am not edgy.

AM: I didn't take note so i forgot.

SA: it's not an act

SA: it's a reality

AM: mmmhm

II: You _do_ know lobotomization's effects, don't you, Ashley?

AM: I mostly want to know what haddy's wearing so I don't clash.

AM: So I don't care at the moment it's not a priority I'll pull up a search later though.

SA: you're an absolute idiot

SA: but yes! I am edgy

II: Well, it does take some reading time to devote, that's true. I'm sure your work is important.

ID: don't worry, i'll swear something your shitty purple blood goes well with!

SA: everything i do is to recklessly gain the attention to others

SA: and then push them away to show how

SA: cool and impressive I am

AM: It's very Halvea has a lot of paper's to go through daily and trolls to deal with.

AM: I take pride in this work Indrid honey.

AM: I'll wear something that doesn't show blood easily then. Couldn't you have been a higher hue haddy babe? Then I wouldn't have to look into a synthetic blend...

II: Well, that's good. If you didn't that'd be unfortunate. Every firm troll should be enthusiastic about their duties.

II: If not, why be here?

AM: Precisley, Indrid.

ID: maroon is the best. so. no.

II: Well, you could always complain to the mother grub, Ashley.

AM: Or at least pretend for gods sake the rest of us don't want that negativity around it gives fine lines to the face.

AM: I'd rather not a brood mother isn't on my list of sights to see.

SA: go to bed before you do get wrinkles

ID: i'll give them more to worry about than wrinkles.

SA: what is it you say to me

SA: something

SA: hush up

AM: Say my name sometime Haddy.

AM: This is beginning to feel one sided.

ID: pshhh. ashy sweety buns, better~?

ID: you just love the sound of your own fucking name.

SA: why don't I get cute pet names

SA: solve that one for me

AM: !!

ID: because they're mocking names pris.

SA: I don't believe he thinks that

SA: I wish I had the monkey to hold

SA: that might be vaguely nice

AM: i think whatever I want to think babe.

AM: Keep that up though Haddy and maybe I'll let you actually GET a punch in.

ID: uh-huh. talk's cheap ashy boo.

ID: cheap like your shoes.

AM: Do you even wear shoes Haddy...

SA: dumpster diving. Sachs fifth

ID: of course i do~ i'm not kicking your ass bare, that's just asking for diseases~

AM: Mine are LV's babe, the only shade of red I wear besides your hue come a week from now honey.

SA: wrong shade of red

SA: you'll ruin them.

AM: Mmmm mMmmm HMMM

ID: it's cute that you think you'll bloody me~

SA: Hadean.

AM: Facts. Facts is the right word Haddy.

SA: that would make that sentence grammatically incorrect.

SA: you are stupid, aren't you.

SA: Hadean sleep

SA: so I can sleep too

AM: Shut.

ID: facts is i'm gonna wreck you.

SA: bed

AM: yep I'm satisfied bed it is. Goodlight all

II: I think sleep is a wonderful thing.

ID: i'm goooinggg!

SA: 💚💚💚

AM: Heal fast Haddy.

ID: dream about me ashy~ =:P

AM: So you can get new wounds!

SA: don't dream about him

AM: You're not that lucky honey.

SA; it will be weird

II: Prepare well, Ashley.

ID: nothing compared to what you'll get~

AM: Will do indrid.

ID: get wrekt.

II: Ah, but don't you want him to be fresh for your fight?

II: All dewy-eyed and clean-faced?

AM: Regardles I'm going to be he's crippled and apparently hive grounded so it's fine.

iD: get wrekt in your dreams of me.

SA: bed

AM: hohohoo

ID: fiiine!

SA: be quiet ashy

AM: Good light this time, Haddy. But not truly.

II: I don't think that will do anything, Prisma. But good light, all.

AM: I dont take orders from you I'm not on your pay roll prisma.

ID: g'light ashy, try to keep up with work tomorrow for once!

II: A fact for which I am sure we all are grateful.

SA: you seem to follow hadeans just fine though

SA: 🙃

AM: Quiet you.

ID: i know how to unlock purple bitch mode.

AM: Uhg.

II: You two keep telling each other that like you think it will work.

SA: oh is that a soft spot of yours

AM: Get to rest all of you honies. JEEZ

ID: i'm going. later. =>:D

SA: if I see one of you start typing again

SA: ...

SA: 🍾🍾🍾

AM: ...

SA: ashy is back for more of their lowblood kink

SA; do I have to tell you to go to bed too?

AM: GO TO REST PRISSY.

SA: shh that's a bad indigo

AM: Gross don't say that get to rest.

II: I have a thought. We all count to five and get off.

ID: log the fuck out already ashy you fuckhead.

SA: it won't HADEAN

AM: YOU FIRSt

SA: what are you, a toddler?

SA: this is truly what pitch fights are made of

SA: screaming incoherently until you get your way

SA: go the fuck you sleep you petulant child

ID: i hope you're exhausted tomorrow and you can't work and you get fired.

SA: you too Hadean

II: How about you all get off or I start clogging the chat with legal code, which will put everyone to sleep anyway.

SA; it wouldn't work on me

II: Everyone except Prisma

SA: I'm already awake again

AM: I already rear it all day Indrid

AM: *read

II: Sigh.

II: There goes my usually foolproof threat.

II: What is a woman to do.

ID: i'll power through it out of pure fucking spite.

AM: Put haddy and Prisma to sleep first then I'll rest.

II: Well, I suppose it's a contest to see who can stay up the longest then.

SA. An infant

II: I hope you're all ready to party.

AM: VERY WELL

SA: are you proud of yourself, Ashy?

SA: this is what you've reduced your caste to

AM: When I'm last troll standing yes babe

SA: childish bickering over who has the last laugh

ID: you'll be the first one to fall you mean.

SA: honestly pathetic

SA: Hadean go rest

AM: You're first to fall Haddy, you good at polishing honey?

SA: hush

ID: hahah i'll polish my fists on your nose.

AM: You hush

AM: Cute.

SA: shh

AM: Or whatever descriptor

ID: you suck.

AM: Godddss just go to rest both of you

SA: it's not clever anymore you two you're rehashing old insults you've been using for the last three hours

ID: go drown.

SA: oh does the idea of having raccoon eyes bother you?

SA: I'll drown you Hadean

AM: no I know the splendors of makeup

AM: DONT YOU DARE I NEED MY FIGHT

ID: makeup can't fix ugly.

SA: im drowning him

AM: 👹

SA: look he's still going

SA: god this is hysterical

AM: as are you babe

SA: hush

ID: 💢

AM: if I get another nickname I'll rest.

SA: hush

AM: how about that

SA: just command him to sleep

ID: bulgewaffle.

SA: he clearly can't resist it

SA: Hadean you are a fucking idiot

AM: horrible i want a better one

SA: just keep him up all night

SA: let him be stubborn

ID: ashy you sugar-crusted diamond encrusted piece of hoofbeast shit GO THE FUCK TO COON.

SA: go on, I'll stay

AM: ah much better

SA: 😢

SA: im disappointed in you

ID: aren't we all.

SA: if only because you're wittier than that

ID: i'm running on fumes cut me some....

ID: slack.

SA: I told you to sleep

AM: no slack

AM: YOU sleep Prisma

SA: oh look who broke their end of the deal

ID: go the fuck to sleep you nooksnorkling buffoon.

AM: it wasn't legally bindig

SA: now you're a liar and a bad businessman

AM: im

II: Ashen, ami

SA: it was in writing, that's binding

AM: amazing

II: I will give you as many nicknames as you like

II: Also coffee

AM; oui indrid

SA: don't encourage him I want Hadean to rest

AM: it's not the sammeee

II: If you gracefully take the initiative

II: And I shall depart as well

SA: if we leave they will not

ID: ghfddddddddd

SA: shh

AM: very well indrid

II: Good light!

ID: glght.

AM: lig

ID: fucyo.

SA: this is going to be a pitch thing. I feel it in my bones

SA: 😩

SA: It was nice being friends while it lasted 🙄

SA: ugh