#shays spotify

[gronnulv]

I've collected a playlist of music that I listen to while drawing fan arts with Haytham :D

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 1: Breakin’ Up With a Broken Heart

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: (Future) Mountain Ranger! Ari Levinson x Reader, mentions of past ex x reader

Summary: A year after a breakup that left you shattered, you’re ready to start life anew in your secluded Colorado mountain cabin. Just when you swear off love is when a new beast crosses your path.

Word Count: 1,896

Content/Warnings: Mentions of heartbreak, in-depth description of a breakup and feelings regarding that, safe driving in juxtaposition to a reckless person, deep introspection, enjoyment of mountain cabin vibes, lmk if I missed any

Author’s Note: This serves as a lot of exposition for what I hope will be a very lovey story; everyone knows you’ll probably face some heartbreak first. Also, yes, this is heavily based on my first heartbreak. What about it? Anyway, please enjoy the start of this long-anticipated fic. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are appreciated more than you know. And in case you didn’t hear it yet today, I love you.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

I STRONGLY suggest listening to this song, not just because it’ll help get across the vibes I’d like, but also because it’s a really good song.

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next >

Your break-up

It’s been months since you walked out on him and left town in a cloud of dust. It didn’t end well, but you’d be lying if you said you thought he was right for you.

One year ago

It ended in a text. Nine months gone in a text.

I’m done.

To which you responded: You mean our relationship? Ok.

It was honestly a relief. You had been looking for a way out, but couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Maybe a part of you wondered if someone would ever want you that much again, even though he only ever showed it in words and not action. Your head was okay with the situation, but it seemed your heart didn’t get the memo. Even though it ended by what you considered a mutual agreement (if that’s what you call him dumping you over you not visiting on a weekend you were spending with your family since he didn’t prioritize anyone’s time but his own), it still hurt. Three days later, he posted a pic with a new girl and a new car the same price as the ring you two had looked at.

He was a textbook narcissist with mommy issues, how’d they always find you? It was the kind of relationship where three months in, you should’ve ended it, but stuck around for another six. It was full of late-night calls, but not even the good ones. These were the ones that happened because he never seemed to have time for you during the day. The attention seemed good at first, but the calls would leave you tired the next morning, unable to get up as early as you wanted to so you could be productive. And you couldn’t talk to your mom and sister about it. They hated him. They saw through his selfish behavior before you and you wish you would’ve listened before giving him everything you could, which still wasn’t enough.

He said he wanted to get married hardly a month in because he loved everything about you. At first, you thought it was a joke, but the more he said it, the more you somehow convinced yourself that was what you wanted, too, but it could not have been more far from the truth. You wanted a happy life with a partner, but not like that and not that fast. Well, was it too fast? Or did it just feel that way because it was with the wrong person? Plus, it was less of a partnership, and more of a continuous compromise put on your part. Either way, as time went on, you realized that every small conversation was leading to a fight and your work and other relationships were suffering from the time he expected of you, but never returned. All he did was expect you to give, not holding himself to that same standard, but for some reason, you kept holding on. You had even looked at rings, not committing, though, because he knew you’d want him to speak to your mother first and she would never go for it. So, the relationship continued to drag on until he got upset since you said no to him one too many times.

But that was so long ago now. You did your time crying, listening to all the sad songs, wondering where you could have possibly gone wrong until you had enough. The only thing you really did wrong was not trust your instincts. You went too far following his heart and not far enough with your own mind. Love can be cerebral, right? It should be. There was no reason to feel sorry for yourself, you were better off and doing all the things you wanted that he’d held you back from before. He had very evidently moved on, and so could you. Sick of feeling down in a town that only reminded you of heartbreak, you found what you needed right now: a new job and an open Zillow posting you’d been watching for forever: your ticket out.

You were taking a vacation to your brand new start, tears long gone and dried with the wind that blew through your hair as you drove through the wooded mountainside. The sun was warm on your face, all loneliness was left in the darkness you left behind. Boxes and bags graciously organized by your mom filled the back of your SUV, and her’s sat just as full, driving behind you up the mountain passes. Before you’d gotten up here, the two of you had stopped at the last gas station, filling up your cars, getting a couple snacks, and stretching your legs before the final couple miles upward. Standing outside your cars gassing up, she looked over to you.

“Hey, just a reminder to be careful in the mountains. You don’t know what’s up there. Mountain lions, bears, snakes.”

“Oh my” you said giggling at your own Wizard of Oz reference.

She smiled and rolled her eyes at you “haha, very funny, but I’m serious. Not just about living there, but driving, too. You never know when a deer could jump out.”

You’d heard this a thousand times, being from wooded, albeit less dense, areas before. Plus, your mom was always concerned about you. Perks of growing up with a dad who was never really present. All of her focus could go to you. Never seeing a proper model relationship was probably half of the reason you had gotten into this mess, too, but you’d never blame that. She’d given you all she could and done a darn good job raising a driven, successful daughter (in every aspect except romance). You were eternally grateful for her support of moving where you had always wanted. It was honestly the perfect opportunity. Once the pumps clicked and the gas was finished, you both prepared to hop back into your cars.

“And remember, don’t talk to strangers.”

“Mom, we’re driving. I doubt we’ll run into anyone else up there.”

She shrugged and you responded with a small smirk, shaking your head as you put the keys in the ignition.

Back to driving higher and higher in elevation, you were drumming your fingers on the dashboard to the songs on the radio that you had blasting. Benefit of driving alone: no interrupted music. As you kept going, the road was becoming narrower and windier, pairing with the dimming afternoon sun. As you were rounding a big bend, you saw something step out into the road and you immediately swerved around it to avoid crashing, pulling over onto the side right after. What was that? A bear? A deer? No, not a deer, too tall. Your mom pulled over right behind you and rolled down her window as you got out of the car and walked back to hers to fill her in.

“What happened?”

“Something stepped out into the road. I’m not sure what it was.” A tall man with cascading brown hair and a full, fitting beard stepped into your vision through your mom’s passenger window. “Or should I say someone. I’m gonna go talk to him, make sure he’s okay.”

“Alright, kiddo. Be careful, though. I’ll be right here.”

You stood up from leaning against your mom’s driver side door and made your way around the front of the car, your eyes drifting upwards from the ground to a narrow waist and broad shoulders, chest rising and falling with deep breaths, eventually meeting with the most gorgeous pair of ocean blues. All these features belonged to the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, but that didn’t excuse the fact that he ran out into the middle of the road and could’ve killed either of you.

Caught off guard by the whole situation, your brain defaulted to panic and defensive mode.

“Oh my gosh! I thought you were a bear! I almost hit you!”

The man looked at you with wide eyes and simply blinked, unable to form a response until he stuttered out

“I-it’s really my fault. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

Even when evidently distracted and out of it, he was still insanely attractive, making you grow more anxious by the second under his intense stare and scrutinization as he continued to stand there, taking you in and then catching himself and looking anywhere else. You were self-conscious of your hair that was tucked under a beanie to combat the cold mountain air and likely disheveled from your long day. He was obviously in a state where arguing wouldn’t benefit either of you, and honestly, you were in the same boat, ready to get to your new home and start unpacking. The sun was starting to set already and you definitely didn’t want to be out after dark, plus you knew the exhaustion from the drive would be catching up soon.

“Um, it’s ok, I just think you need to be more careful next time. Listen, I don’t wanna be pulled over on this stretch of road for too long, God forbid a real bear, or someone without good reflexes comes around, but, I’m glad you’re not hurt. Take care.”

Wanting to avoid any more awkward interactions and the opportunity of embarrassing yourself in front of an adonis, you rushed back to your car and started back up the mountain. You could see the image of the man in your side mirror getting smaller, his gaze still fixed on your car, until you turned and lost sight of him.

Once you pulled into your new home, your mom met you with a suitcase, ready to take the stairs to the entrance.

“Well he was cute, albeit a little reckless. Wonder what was going on”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, though. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t need to make a habit of almost hitting things when driving around up here.”

You unlocked the door and held it open for your mom as she walked in and turned back to look at you. “Well, by the looks of how small this town is, you might. And once you figure out whatever’s going on in his head, maybe he’ll be a nice new friend to have up here.”

“Um, yeah, I guess. Maybe. After all this time, I think I’ll need a friend. Someone to restore my hope for humanity.”

You tried to lighten the mood regarding your distaste for others that had grown from feeling so deeply betrayed and your mom gave a knowing glance in response. But it seemed there was something more to it. It was knowing in more ways than one, hardly noticeable, as you turned to go get another load to bring in from the trunk.

Your mind raced with thoughts of having to get all of this junk into the house. You stepped out into the crisp mountain air, admiring the deepening blue sky and unobstructed stars, the darkness in contrast to the way your mood had brightened slowly from something similarly dark over the past year, becoming more like the stars that glowed in the beautiful night ski. As you trotted down the stairs, your tried to convince yourself that being here was going to be everything you hoped for yourself and your future ticket to happiness. That the last thing on your mind was love.

Next >

[ryesillustrates]

Life's hardest choices are the ones that force you to question your own moral code.'

Anyways a quick lil Shay Cormac cos why not lol

[fallingintoyourlilaceyes]

nine people i'd like to get to know better

Thank you for tagging me @dr-aegon!💜

the last song i listened to:

favourite colour: since black technichally isn´t a color I´m gonna say any shadae of dark green

currently watching: Legally blonde (again)

spicy/savoury/sweet: I do love savoury and spicy foods/snack even though I am very bad at handling spice

relationship status: single and not made to be in a relationship atm

current obsession: finishing some wips that I have been writing on for months and likely will never finish (and derry girls, always derry girls)

No pressure tag💕:@thought--bubble @foxyanon @gemini-mama @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @zaldritzosrose @bucknastysbabe @boundlessfantasy @marthawrites @arcielee

[piece-of-the-pie-if]

Hey author, how are you? 💕

I'm curious to know what kind of music the RO's like. Who are their idols? Any artists/genres that are a guilty pleasure for them?

Any kind of music they pretend to like just 'cos it's popular? *discreetly looks at Kinsley*

Hello nonie~ I'm doing good thank you!

this kind of question is hard for me, personally, to think about because of my own relationship with music and music artists (which is why this took so fucking long) which is to say I love music and don't really pay attention much to artists beyond the fact they make the music I love (lmao I really don't care about celebrities, I find it quite concerning that so many people idolise them so much... like your(general) fave is just a guy at the end of the day lmao) (that being said I can understand having an influence and following the *work* of an artist you really connect to) and I find it hard to make hard line distinctions between genres, aha 🤭

That being said, let's have a look at some music! (This is an excuse to show off my extensive and exhaustive music reach and taste, so thank you!)

Dylan──they're open to all types of music but they only really purchase R&B albums! Artists like Stevie Wonder, Chaka Khan, Tina Turner, Prince, Alicia Keys, Frank Ocean, SZA, Kehlani and Miguel are all artists Dyl owns albums (and vinyls!!) for! Dyl introduced Kin to R&B and they usually listen to the artists she likes more when they're together (Beyoncé, Victoria Monét, Lionel Ritchie etc) They like ‘Foreign Language’ R&B too, artists like BIBI, DEAN, Cherrie, Girl Ultra, Adi Oasis, ØZI, Yseult and Lous And The Yakuza.

Shay──the real eclectic listener! He likes next to every genre of music, Rap, Hip Hop, R&B, Pop, K-pop, J-rock, Folk, Funk, Phonk, EDM, Heavy Metal, Grunge, House, Synth, Soul... even Country... Country Fusion! Shay likes artists that kind of... don't have a genre? Like Sleep Token, Twenty One Pilots, Pink Floyd, Oingo Boingo, Lene Lovich, David Bowie, Gorillaz, Poppy, Bring Me The Horizon, Afterlife, Seventeen, Red Velvet and Hannah Wicklund. He definitely love finding new music as well as sharing new music! (Watch the YouTube/Twitch channel that's got a segment dedicated to reacting to new music!! Like HTHAZE!)

Kinsley──lmao she doesn't mind Popular music but, like, the last Taylor Swift album she actively sought out was 1989 (she's partial to This Love) and Kin would rather die than be subjected to Trap music. She's very into genres like Alternative Indie, Indie Rock, Neo Soul, and R&B artists like Hozier, Florence + The Machine, Lorde, Phoebe Bridgers, Lizzy McAlpine, Searows, Reneé Rapp, Ethel Cain and Noah Kahan. Her R&B influence is mainly from being Dylan's friend but she does love artists like Beyoncé (she really loved her self titled album and especially Virgo's Groove off of Renaissance), Victoria Monét (particularly the Jaguar II album) and Khalid as well as older artists like Mary J. Blige, Marvin Gaye or Lionel Ritchie!

J──they tend to listen to music for the beat, the bass, the instrumentals more than lyrics. They like heavier genres like Rock, Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, Alternative Rock, Punk Rock, Nu Metal, Grunge and other genres like EDM, Synth, Techno and Trance. They also listen to Italian artists quite a lot, mainly because J wants to keep up with the language (because their father refuses to speak it or teach them) so artists like Måneskin, Jovanotti, Lacuna Coil, Max Gazzé, Vanerus, and even Vivaldi. J also listens to anything their sister recommends them, even if it's the most bubblegum pink pop shit they've ever heard─if Bells likes it they're listening. Shay will also introduce them to the wonders of J-rock and K-pop which bend genre all the time!

Theo──a Pop lover! Or rather, Theo tends to stick to listening to the radio or the Popular Playlist on Spotify! They tend to like more instrumental artists like or soundtrack artists like Hans Zimmer, Hiroyuki Sawano, Danny Elfman, Vangelis, Rachel Portman (who was the first female composer to win an academy award for best original score!) and Michael Giacchino over anything else and they 'broaden their horizons' by being dragged to Jazz bars and open house cafés by C (and MC) so it's not like they're stuck in one/two genre's!!

Bonus! Some Modern/Nu Jazz artists C likes: Ezra Collective, Nubya Garcia, Masego, Cherise, Camille Munn, Blue Lab Beats, Kasami Washington, Esperanza Spalding, Snarky Puppy, GoGo Penguin, Mathilde Widding and Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah!

[theargopriestess]

iHave Your Heart

Carly wraps her arms around herself, and braces herself against the high-ledge of the roof. Staring off into space and not really taking in the Seattle city skyline.

She still had it in her hand. She hadn’t let go of it since she left her apartment.

She knew what the results would be when she took the test. But her heart still broke when she saw the single line. The single line that meant ‘not pregnant’. The single line that meant no baby. The single line that meant there wasn’t going to be a little Freddie or a little Carly running around-

It tore her heart in two.

And then the tears come. They come so fast her vision blurs and she can’t stop them. One sob tears out of her, then another and then another. Her whole body shakes as she cries, as she folds her arms over the ledge and she buries her face into them.

Freddie settles down beside her on his front, their bodies slick with sex induced sweat. His hand settles on her belly, caressing gently over her navel. His forehead presses into the cap of her shoulder, lips brushing the skin of her upper arm. “I love you so much,” he mumbles against her skin. She turns her head toward his; his hair tickles her chin and nose, “I love you more,” she whispers back.

His hand against her navel begins to travel lower, sliding along her skin, edging ever closer to rest between her thighs. She shakes her head and murmurs a soft, “no”. Immediately, he stops, moving his hand away and up to her face. His fingers graze along her chin, her lips where she kisses his fingertips softly, along her cheek, and then behind her ear. He cups her face gently with his palm, thumb rubbing gently on her cheek bone in soft, up-and-down motions.

His bedroom is almost entirely pitch black, save for the soft glowing city street lights, glowing in between the curtains. Concern is written all obey his face, bries furrowed, his are eyes soft and wide, his lips pouted. “What’s wrong?”

She lifts her shoulders. “I just don’t want to again tonight. I’m sorry.” He nods. Understanding replacing his expression. “Okay.” He says, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

He settles down beside her and she turns up onto her side, giving him her back. He scoots close behind her, slipping one leg between hers, and sliding his hand to pull her closer, resting it gently over belly, above her navel.

“I love you”, he whispers to her in the darkness. She tells him the same.

For a while after that night, they don’t sleep in the same bed. If anything, she actively tries to avoid it. It’s killing him. It’s killing her too. But how, how can she explain it to him? How can she explain it to him without breaking both of their hearts.

“Carly?”

“Carly? Are you up here?”

“Carly?”

“Hey”, she feels a hand on her shoulder. Warm and strong and gentle.

It’s Freddie. She knows that it’s him.

Who else has hands that warm?

Who else has hands that are that strong but still so gentle?

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She cries harder. Her whole body trembles and she can’t move. “Carls?”

She doesn’t respond. She barely has enough strength in her to fight him off when he takes her by the waist and shoulder, hauls her away from the ledge and turns her to him. Pulling her into his chest. His arms wrapped tight around her shoulder, his fingers weave into her hair, rubbing her scalp gently in an attempt to sooth her. She loops her arms under his shoulders and burys her face into his neck.

“Carly? Please, talk to me love”.

“Carly, please you’re scaring me.”

It’s those words that stop her from crying anymore. The desperation in his voice.

She lets him go. Stepping backwards out of his hold and pushing the pregnancy test into his hand and turning away from him.

For a while he’s silent, and then;

“Is that what this is about? That’s why you’ve you been so distant?”

Tears sliding down her face, Carly hiccups and nods.

“Oh, Carly”, he speaks gently and she feels his hands on her hips as he turns her to face him.

He cradles her face in his hands, thumbs swiping the tears spilling out of her eyes. He shakes his head, giving her a tender smile.

“I’m sorry.”

He swipes another falling tear from her eye with his thumb, shaking his head. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because I’m not pregnant. Because there isn’t going to be a little baby Benson”, she sobs, her hands moving to rest over her belly. He steps closer to her and kisses her tenderly. Her hands rest on his firm, strong arms.

He changes the angle of how his lips meet hers, subtly tipping her head back a fraction. Her hands on his arms tighten their grip.

He nuzzles gently and sweetly at her lips with his own when they come up for air. Her face is still wet with tears, and she reaches up to his face with her hands when she sees that her tears have transferred to his face, she wipes them away with her thumbs. He turns his head and brushes his lips against her palm. “I love you”, he tells her. “I always have, I think you’ve always known that.” His hands still cradle her face, fingers gentle against her skin.

“This”, he takes one of her hands in her own, places it on his firm chest, over his heart.

Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.

She feels the steady thrum as it beats steadily. He holds her hand in place with his, lacing his fingers through hers.

“This, is yours.”

More tears slide down her face as his other hand stays on her face. She copies his actions, taking his hand, placing it against her breast, over her heart. “This is yours too. I love you, Freddie. I’m in love with you.”

He smiles, tilting his head to rest his forehead against hers. She notices that he makes a point to not touch her belly.

“Carly, I don’t mind that you’re not pregnant. Okay?”

She nods.

“We have more than enough time in the world to have babies. And if you don’t want a baby at all, that’s okay too. All I want is, to just be with you.”

She nods again, and he returns the motion.

“C’mere,” he says, motions with his head as he says it, his hand falling to her waist.

(I will be posting this to Ao3 - there is going to be a bit of graphic content and I’m considering making this a two part fic).

(Btw this is no relation to my other fics - this is post-cannon to the events of 3x09).

[taylorslastkiss]

A Playlist For Every Taylor Swift Song

Death By A Thousand Cuts -> Link here.

My top tracks:

Set Fire To The Rain - Adele

Tequila - Dan + Shay

Ghost - Halsey

The Harold Song - Kesha

It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Death Wish - My Chemical Romance

[xtrippingfairydustx]

Nathan, post that playlist of yours, I need to use your song choices in mine 🫠

[alyssalovestaylor1989]

This is the most underrated collaboration of the year!!! I usually can’t stand Dan + Shay but Sabrina and Charlie sang and slayed.

Bonus fact: Charlie produced this song and was a writer on it

The music video is absolutely one of my favorite music videos of all time.

[khajiithaswitchywares]

[ahlan]

Ça m’touche pas, j’ressens rien

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 2: Heartbreak on the Map

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: (Future) Mountain Ranger! Ari x Reader, Ari x his ex mentioned

Summary: It’s okay to grieve and sulk after a breakup, but at some point, you need to gather yourself together and find the things that make you the happiest, best version of yourself. This is Ari trying to do that, but not perfectly.

Word Count: 1,643

Content/Warnings: Mentions of excessive alcohol consumption, heartbreak and descriptions of how it’s dealt with, Ari being reckless but lucky, lovesick/hopeful thoughts despite a previously broken heart, angst high key stress me out, but did I just write some???, lmk if I missed any

Author’s Note: I honestly like this chapter way better than the first one. I’m not sure why it just flowed better and was way easier to write, despite being shorter. As always, likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are very appreciated. Please send me an ask, I’m begging.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Below is the song this is based off. I strongly suggest you listen, not only because it helps give vibes, but it’s also a really good song with creative lyricism.

< Prev | Series Masterlist | Next >

Ari’s breakup

This barstool knew his name by now, as he sat there sometime around midnight nursing another longneck beer, alongside a couple abandoned whiskey glasses. He’d asked around town if anyone had seen her. That girl. The one that did him wrong, left him here sitting like an old, sad country song. That kind that bars play all night long on the jukebox. He’d know that’s what they play, he was there every night. He didn’t know where to look anymore.

Ari had no idea where she could possibly be at this point. Could have been west of Texas, east of Tennessee, but he didn’t care. Because all that mattered was that she wasn’t here with him anymore. It all went south, and maybe she did, too, as he watched her taillights fade in a dust cloud. No goodbye kiss. Ari was left to wonder, with only whiskey on his lips.

He had hardly slept in weeks. The beer and whiskey sometimes had the opposite intended effect, not aiding his sleep, but keeping him up to overthink. The truth was, he knew why the relationship ended. It wasn’t his fault, and he could tell it wasn’t meant to be from the start. But he was mostly happy, and he thought that’s what he deserved: to be mostly happy and to settle down because it seemed that was all she wanted. But that’s all he was doing: settling. She never pushed him, unless it was to find a way to make more money and support her, but Ari didn’t truly want that life. He didn’t want to come home to a perfect little housewife. But she wanted that. And she kept pushing, and he kept molding himself to her demands, because love is compromise, right?

No. Not if it’s only on one side.

Despite knowing better in the back of his head, Ari convinced himself there was something he could do. Making use of another restless night, he threw the covers off and shuffled out of the bedroom and into the rest of his small shack of a cabin provided by his ranger job. He found himself sprawled at the dining room table with papers scattered all over, a magnifying glass in hand. He had looked through his old maps, trying to find all routes she could’ve possibly taken, but instead, all that he saw was heartbreak. She put it there. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling, letting out a deep sigh in frustration. Frustration of wasted years, frustration at himself for trying to talk himself into something he knew was wrong. That’s why he never got a ring, even when she pushed. He knew it wasn’t meant to be. So she left, for someone who had her ring waiting.

Losing her was heart wrenching, but also, a relief. Slipping out of your uncomfortable shoes and unbuttoning your pants after a six-mile hike kind of relief. Ari knew the one for him was still out there, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still hurting. He needed to recover the places she’d been with new memories: starting with the living room. No need for the bedroom, at least. (Another product of the voice at the back of his mind that knew she wasn’t right.) So he flopped down on the couch, tv low in the background, staring up at the ceiling, humming one of the heartbreak songs from the bar until sleep embraced him.

Ari woke up with cramps in his back and a sore neck from curling up on the couch that was just barely too small for his tall, broad frame. It was still dark out. His phone was plugged in at the night stand by the bed, so he walked over to the kitchen. The clock on the stove read 5:48 am. Might as well start getting ready for the day. He put on a pot of coffee and opened the fridge to look for leftovers to heat up. While that was going, he shuffled back to his closet and slipped on his uniform, ready to start another day in the only place that gave him true peace: the mountains. (Luckily, the only other place she hadn’t tainted. She hated the out doors.)

Ari’s days carried on like this for weeks. Wake up too early. Make coffee. Go to work. Come home. Try and sleep. Look through old paper maps. He loved routine, it often kept him sane, but he was spiraling. He needed to figure out a new one. He was sick of moping around and he was sick of putting himself down like he had done something wrong. How was she still able to hold him back after being gone? He was going to start living his life for himself again. He needed to find the schedule and the things that truly made him happy. But first, dinner.

A few months later

One of the routine things that kept Ari sane now: cleaning the house. He needed a true, clean slate, so we went and cleared off the dining room table, nicely refolding the maps which had laid there for months. Despite him having been single for so long now, he kept them there. They used to give him peace and comfort. Ari liked his old, paper maps. It was easier to see it all laid out instead of crammed onto his tiny phone. His place was a lot like that: full of things he could do with his hands, like mini projects, instead of being glued to a screen all day. But she had tainted it: she tainted his favorite things. It wasn’t as bad now, but his nervous evergy kept building up and he needed to get out of there so he didn’t scream.

Another aspect of Ari’s healing: working out. Any time he got like this and couldn’t stand being in the small space anymore, he ran. He ran until he drove all those what-ifs and doubts out of his mind, along the mountain trails and out to the cliffs where it was just him and the sky, overlooking the small town below, dwarfed even more by the mountainous elevation. He slipped on his tennis shoes and bolted out the door as quickly as he could. The mid-week afternoon air was refreshing. All he could focus on was go farther. Go faster. He kept running and running, through the trails, and didn’t even have a second thought to look when crossing the road, the music blaring in his headphones making him unable to hear any cars approaching as they went along the mountain path. As he stepped out onto the road, Ari saw movement out of the corner of his eye and his head snapped. Before he knew it, anhorn sounded and a car swerved around him, skidding to a stop as it pulled over on the narrow mountain pass. Ari jumped back into the greenery lining the road, surprised at his own recklessness that he usually preaches against. Another SUV pulled over right behind the first as he heard a driver’s side door slam shut. He could faintly hear a conversation between two women, followed by one of them emerging from between the cars.

“Oh my gosh! I thought you were a bear! I almost hit you!”

Ari was in shock from how careless he was and how he watched his life flash before his eyes.

“I-it’s really my fault. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

He stood there with wide eyes, hands on his hips, shoulders rising and falling quickly with heavy breaths, truly in bewilderment at what had just gone down, as well as bewilderment at the woman standing before him. Something about her was so captivating that he had to force himself to look away after taking her in, hoping she didn’t think he was a creep from his reaction.

“Um, it’s ok, I just think you need to be more careful. Listen, I don’t wanna be pulled over on this stretch of road for too long, God forbid a real bear, or someone without good reflexes comes around, but, I’m glad you’re not hurt. Take care.”

And with that she rushed away, leaving Ari standing there in shock before he could even squeak another word out. He watched her and the trailing SUV until they rounded the bend and went further up the mountain.

Huh, there was only one house Ari knew of up there. It’s where an older couple used to stay during the summers, and he had only been inside once to help fix something after they sought out the ranger in his cabin, but he remembers it having the best view he could imagine, despite the cabin’s modest size. It was pretty much the perfect home. What a was she doing going up there?

Realizing he had stayed standing eerily close to the road for too long, Ari decided it was probably time to head back since the sun had started to set. He trudged through the tall trees and deeply inhaled the sharp pine scent that opened his airways and comforted him as it wrapped around him like a blanket. This was his domain, and he truly enjoyed the sanctity of his environment, but he still wished he had someone to share his favorite things with. An equal partner who appreciated this environment as much as him, but still had their own wants and didn’t force him to be what he wasn’t.

As he made his was back to his front steps, Ari looked up at the unobstructed stars that danced into the sky during his long walk home, shining brightly like every night. He couldn’t help but wonder if the one for him was looking up, sharing the same sky as him. The one who could one day share his heart.

Next >

[passengerseatcas]

no one is surprised

[bigguccielwopo]

Joe Rogan announces Katt Williams will be on the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast (JRE)

[theargopriestess]

Hey all! I’m writing a Creddie long fic. It has spice, slow burn Romance, drama and friends to lovers themes.

to those of you who gave me all the support and encouragement for ‘I Can’t Stop Wanting You’, thank you so much!!!

Anyway, I really hope you like it. Please leave kudos and kind & constructive comments.