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resilientdolan · 4 years

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Drown (G.D) - part 10

A/N: another emotional roller coaster for y’all. bye. also, pls lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist!!!

Word-count: 1.9k

Summary: Bianca begged Grayson to leave her, and he did it because he loved her. After nearly a year, they met once again, and ended up catching up with each other. But later on, Grayson noticed there’s something wrong with Bianca.

Tags: @bingexdolan @grantsairforce @prettyboydolan @kyaaawritings @3ooda97 @baby-grayson @ryxgrantdolan @foxglovedolan @evergreendolan @goldenndolan @nikesbailey @entergalaticdolan @sosweetgrethan @twinfinitydolan

———————————————————————

“Bianca—,” Grayson calls for her as he watches her heading out of the living room.

She quickly heads to his room to grab her purse, and Grayson runs after her. He quickly shuts the door behind him to hold her back from leaving.

“Bianca, I’m sorry,” he speaks as he follows her.

But Bianca gives him no response. She remains silent as she gathers her belongings before she shoves them into her purse.

“Bianca, talk to me,” he begs.

She swiftly turns to face him, shooting him an angry glare as she speaks. “You promised me, but you ended up staying at Isla’s, Grayson. You promised me you’ll be here before 1,” she shakes her head.

“I know, she asked me to take her to Maywood for breakfast, a—and I drove her home, and...,” Grayson stops for a while. He really can’t tell her what happened. Hell no, he’s not going to hurt her again.

“And?,” Bianca’s getting impatient. She crosses her arms in front of her chest as she waits for him to explain what happened later, but the only thing coming out of his mouth is a deep sigh.

“I— look, Bi—,” Grayson takes her hand in his, but she quickly pulls it away. The angry glare slowly fades away from her face, getting replaced with a sad look.

“You— you did it again, right?,” she mumbles. Her cheeks are burning as she tries to hold herself back from punching the man that she loves.

“Look, I wanted to leave, but—“

“But you can never say no to Isla. You’re that powerless when it comes to Isla,” she tries to shove him off with everything she has. Tears begin streaming down her cheeks as she heads towards the door.

He did it again.

“Don’t leave me, Bianca. Let me take you to the hospital,” Grayson begs once again. He gently grips on her wrist, pulling her back to him, but again, she pushes him away.

“No, I don’t need you to drive me there. I’ll be okay,” she shakes her head.

“Bianca, don’t do this to me, please,” he wraps an arm around her shoulders, his fingers from his other hand are intertwined with hers. “Bianca, I—I love you, please, don’t do this,” he continues to beg for forgiveness.

His last words really trigger her. For a millionth time, she shoves him off once again. She shakes her head as she mumbles, “Grayson, let me tell you something,” she pauses for a moment. “You never mean it. You said you love me, but you never mean it,” she cries.

It cuts him deep.

“Bianca—“

“Forget everything I said. Pretend that I’ve never crushed on you. Maybe we’re better staying friends,” she sighs. “You have Isla, and I have Declan. Just—“ she suddenly stops.

“Just what?,” Grayson can’t even wait.

Bianca takes a few step back as she finally reaches the door. Her hand’s on the handle and she’s ready to leave. She takes another look at her favorite man alive once again as she shakes her head.

“Just— stay away from me, Grayson.”

“Bianca? W—what? I do love you, please don’t do this ” he gasps in surprise.

It can’t be happening.

But there she is, standing firmly, with teary eyes and tears on her cheeks.

“Stop hurting me. Stay away from me if you love me, Grayson,” she says it once again, as she heads out of his room, leaving him standing there alone.

Grayson lost her; the one that he deserves. And he finally noticed that he fucked up real bad.

That’s his last conversation with Bianca, and it wasn’t a pleasing one. And ever since that day, he stopped chasing her. Not because he’s giving up, but because he loves her, and that’s what she begged from him.

———————————————————————

“Yo, E. How’s Bianca?,” Cameron breaks the silence. It’s one fine Saturday Morning and the Dolan siblings are having their breakfast in the dining room.

Ethan hums. “She’s okay. We talk sometimes, she’s been busy,” he shrugs his shoulders lightly before he sips on his apple juice. Grayson, the one who’s being so silent ever since Cameron dropped the question, frowns.

“Busy? With...?,” he patiently wait for his answer. He hasn’t heard her name ever since that night where she told him to leave her alone, almost a year ago. Even if they run into each other at school, Bianca quickly walks away. When she told him to leave him alone, she really means it.

“Being straight-A student as usual, what else?,” Ethan scrunches his brows as he replies. “Oh, and also, busy with Declan too, maybe?,” he guesses.

That name.

“Oh,” Grayson parts his lips into an o as a reaction to the information that he just got. That one wasn’t really an answer that he expected. In fact, it hurt him a little; to picture Bianca being happy around Declan.

“I haven’t seen her for a pretty long time, kinda miss her. Why don’t you two invite her to come over?,” Cameron suggests. Growing up together, Cameron considers Bianca as one of the Dolan siblings. She has always wanted to have a little sister.

“Yeah, sure,” Ethan nods his head quickly at her idea, but Grayson remains silents.

What should he do? She clearly doesn’t want him around, and now his sister and his twin brother are inviting her to come over.

“When?,” he glances back at his sister, and his clone.

“How about tomorrow? A brunch? I mean, she can stay as long as she wants to after brunch. What do y’all think?,” Cameron speaks excitedly.

Really, Cam? A brunch tomorrow? Isn’t it too soon? He was planning to stay at home all day tomorrow.

“I’ll text her!,” Ethan nods as he grabs his phone quickly to text her.

Grayson leans back against his seat as he watches his siblings getting excited about spending their Sunday with Bianca. It’s not like he isn’t excited about meeting her. He’s just not ready yet to meet her, after what happened nearly a year ago. Plus, she belongs to someone else now.

“Hah, she said yes!,” Ethan confirms. Cameron squeals as he announces it. But nothing comes out of Grayson’s mouth, other than a soft sigh.

He’s doomed.

———————————————————————

“Biancaaa! Hey!,” Cameron squeaks as she pulls the shorter girl into a hug. Bianca bursts into laughter as she hugs her. Here they are, sitting in the living room, along with the twins.

“Cam! I’ve missed you!,” Bianca replies.

“Oh my God, where have you been?,” she asks her enthusiastically.

“Um... been studying a lot, since it’s senior year,” Bianca’s shoulders rise and fall into a shrug.

“But I heard that you got a new man too. Who is the lucky guy?,” Cameron squints her eyes as she keeps her gaze on Bianca’s, followed with a slight chuckle.

Grayson’s sitting there in complete silence. The fact that Cameron uses the word “the lucky guy” gets him dying to punch the air.

If only he got the courage to confessed everything few years ago to her, he’d be that lucky guy.

Grayson gulps as he watches Bianca’s cheeks turning red because of Cameron’s question.

Here it comes, a moment that he’s completely unprepared for; to watch his favorite girl moving on and being happy with her man.

“His name is Declan. We went to the same school, with Ethan and Grayson too. I’m sure the twins know him,” she nods.

“He used to be our close friend, but you know, as you grow up, you stop talking to some people, right?,” Ethan elaborates, which followed with a nod from Cameron.

“Ah, things suck sometimes. Anyway, are you hungry, Bi? I’m kinda hungry, shall we eat now?,” Cameron asks as she gets up from the couch. Bianca shakes her head slowly. “Thank you, Cam, but I’m not really that hungry, I’ll eat later,” she replies.

“Alright... E? Gray? Care to join?,” she shifts her gaze to the twins. Grayson shakes his head quickly, but Ethan gets up and nods his head. “Yeah, c’mon. I’m starving,” he lies as he follows her to the kitchen. Ethan isn’t really hungry, actually. The only reason for him to leave Bianca and Grayson there is to give them some time to talk. Grayson finally managed to tell him about everything happened between him and Bianca to Ethan that morning.

“Gray?,” she calls for his name softly. Grayson turns to face her with a thin smile, no words coming out of his mouth.

“How are you?,” she asks.

“I’m okay. How about you?,” he answers briefly, trying to avoid interacting to much with her.

Don’t fall for her, Grayson. She’s taken.

“I’m... okay,” Bianca replies as she gives him a little smile. Grayson keeps his gaze on hers. He can clearly sense uncertainty in her answer, but he doesn’t want to involve himself in her love story with Declan. “Gray, I’m sorry about what happened to you and Isla,” she sighs.

Grayson shakes his head. How he hates hearing her name now. Grayson and Isla broke up a month ago. Apparently, Isla had been talking to another guy from New York behind Grayson’s back. The moment she flew to New York to do her casting call, she went out with him, and ended up spending night together in a hotel room.

“I’m over it,” he replies quickly. “Please, let’s talk about anything but her, can we?,” Grayson sighs. Bianca nods her head. She feels bad for making him uncomfortable.

“How’s you and and Declan?,” Grayson asks her this time, though inside, he doesn’t give a single damn about their love story. Purely just Grayson, trying to be happy for his dream girl.

“We’re... we’re okay,” Grayson can swear that he can sense sadness from her answer.

“Just okay?,” he wonders. Bianca quickly nods her head to convince him.

“Anyway, Bi, can we just start over?,” the question comes out of Grayson’s mind absent-mindedly.

“What do you mean?,” she turns her gaze back to him.

Grayson turns to face her. He rests both of his hands on her sides as he speaks. “I want to have you around me, like I used to have you around me everyday when we were younger. To talk to you everyday, that kind of closeness. I need you, Bi,” he explains like he has spent hours reciting that speech.

“Gray—“

“Listen to me, Bianca. I’ve been living hell for nearly a year, ever since that night you walked out of my room after that argument. I love you, Bianca. Please, I can’t take it anymore,” he begs. “Be my friend, bestfriend, study buddy— whatever, don’t leave me. I fucking need you around me, Bianca. You make me happy,” he continues.

She remains silent, but she looks frightened.

“Please? Fuck Isla. Just having you sleeping wrapped around my arms that night makes me the happiest man alive. More than Isla ever could. I’ve never felt something like this before,” he continues to pour his heart out.

But instead of paying attention to his words, Bianca winces in pain. “G—Gray, stop, it hurts,” she whines.

He turns his gaze to his hands and finally notices. Both of his hands are squeezing her upper arms, probably a little too hard.

“Bianca, are you—?,” Grayson frowns. She looks scared as hell, so he lets go of his grip.

“No, no... I’m o—okay,” she lies. “I—I’m kinda hungry, let me eat first, okay?,” she slowly gets up, making her way to the kitchen.

Grayson remains silent as he watches her disappearing into the kitchen.

One thing he knows; there’s something not right with her.

#grayson dolan #tgabs'write #douche!gray #grayson blurb #grayson dolan fic #highschool!gray

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nicostolemybones · 5 years

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Amber Valentine

Tw: minor character deaths (referenced), mentions of homophobia, ambiguous rejection (purposely left unanswered so the reader can choose which they want it to be)

Nico woke up. Nico didn't like that. He tried to sleep again but no, sleep was impossible, because today was a bad day and his brain hated him. He wanted compensation from life for waking him up today, on Valentine's day of all days.

He huffed, dreading the day more and more as the heavy weightlessness of sleep left his bones to be replaced with a dull ache. He didn't have the strength to get out of bed yet, and to be quite honest, he didn't really want to.

So he opted to angrily stare at the ceiling like it personally offended him. The one time he wakes up before breakfast, and it's on the one day he wishes some kid would whack him round the head and put him in a coma for the day. He bet Will was already out on his morning run. He'd wake at the ass crack of dawn like a heathen and exercise like a heathen and glow like it didn't fucking give everyone a headache like a heathen.

But he was cute, so Nico forgave him.

Cute didn't really describe it. Will was a beautiful. Nico wondered what it would be like to wake up in the morning to the sight of Will sleeping beside him. He could imagine it- Will laying on his stomach with his head on his arms, golden blond hair fanning out onto the pillow, his skin glowing softly in the morning light. Nico wondered if Will had freckles on his back too, and if Will would let him paint them, like angel wings and constellations.

Stupid cute boy making him have emotions this early in the goddamn morning on the worst day of his life. Should be illegal. Nico forced himself out of bed and prepared for the day before opening the door- and the offending boy was stood nervously on his doorstep, freckles glowing a light yellow whilst his skin glowed soft amber. He had such a pretty smile and pretty eyes and Nico absolutely despised him for being so cute and making him blush in public by being so goddamn cute.

"What do you want Solace? You see the sky? You see that giant orb of radiation and death? Yeah? Well that means it's way too fucking early to be awake."

"Nice to see our resident vampire is already in full brooding mode! That must mean you're awake enough for a hug!" Will beamed, and gods Nico couldn't breathe because… holy shit. His smile was so beautiful and he was glowing sunrise yellow and he had dimples okay and his nose was scrunched and Nico forgot how to breathe. He was so pretty.

"Don't you dare, Solace!"

"But hugs," Will pouted, his glow slowly turning sunset yellow as Nico tried to resist. Nico couldn't resist because his boyfriend looked like a kicked puppy and he gave good hugs.

"Okay, fine, hugs," Nico relented with a sigh. Will's glow was back in full force, sunrise yellow with a warm amber undertone, and he was practically throwing himself at Nico, wrapping him up in a warm hug. Fuck, Nico was gonna die like this and go to Elysium, he couldn't function because the cute bastard was hugging him and he was warm and he smelled gorgeous, like lemons and antiseptic and cinnamon and sandalwood and sunshine and sweat and boy. Then Nico realised he hadn't been hugging back- he could tell by the way the heat from Will's glow changed slightly, nervous heat, that he was shifting back into a sunset hue, and that kickstarted Nico's brain to hug back, and Will's warmth grew comforting again.

Nico didn't want Will to ever let go.

If he was honest, he was kinda touch starved. He may have been touch averse, but that didn't mean he didn't need affection from time to time, and Will's hugs made him feel safe and sentimental and fuzzy. And Will was taller than him so his face was met with a wall of muscle and fuck Nico could die because that was his man and he was a fucking snack. Between feeling sentimental and flustered, Nico felt overwhelmed- the touch starved side of him wanted to cry and the teenage side of him practically wanted to consume Will and the conflicting emotions were too much for him to process at once.

He reluctantly let go, noticing Will's hesitation in the way his arms twitched as he let go, like his body didn't want to let go and Will had to fight it. Nico wanted to hug him again, but he knew if he hugged Will again he'd grow deeply uncomfortable and want to rip his flesh off. Sometimes physical contact was like that feeling when a bug flies into your face and you can still feel it twenty minutes after it's flew away. But ten times more intense and distressing to the point it made Nico want to scream and cry and rip his face off, but apparently, that isn't what physical contact felt like and Nico was being over dramatic so naturally everybody would pull him into hugs or headlocks and Nico would freeze or bolt. Except for Will. Will may have been very huggy, but he never tried to force Nico into physical contact. He didn't question it if Nico pushed him away sometimes and he didn't take it personally.

"So uh…" Will began, his freckles a nervous pale amber, which Nico knew meant he was anxious. He didn't finish his sentence, picking at the bandage around his hand instead.

"It's Valentine's day," Nico said quietly, and Will nodded awkwardly.

"Yeah…"

"I already told you, I won't celebrate it."

"I know," Will said quickly, and the amber of his freckles was almost a dark chocolate gold, "I wanted to talk. Can we- can we go somewhere?" He looked just about ready to cry, and Nico's concern was able to quickly override his aversion to being seen.

"You look terrified," Nico noted, and Will nodded, not moving. Nico started to walk, and Will followed him. Nico could feel the heat radiating off him, so Nico walked him to a far spot through the forest- walking helped anxiety by tricking your brain into thinking you were running away- fight or flight. And for a short while, Will seemed less anxious, but the closer they got to their favourite talking spot, the darker Will's glow got until he was a dark sunset orange. Sunrise colours were good- sunset ones were worrying. "Will?"

"I really wanna tell you something but I never talk about it and I'm scared to talk about it because I like running away from my feelings and I need to talk about it and I trust you the most to understand how I feel so can we talk about it?"

"Of course," Nico said gently, guiding Will to sit down. He looked on the verge of tears.

"I hate Valentine's day," Will said quietly, "I hate it so much."

"Glad we're on the same page," Nico said quietly, and he knew that Will would catch his meaning: I'll understand, you can tell me anything.

"You already know I'm from Austin, right? Well I come from a super nice area, y'know? My school had a gsa and the local church I went to as a kid was super accepting and had rainbow flags and funded a shelter for lgbt youths. My grandma was a lesbian and her wife made me my very first punk jacket when I was six. So uh… I grew up in a super nice place. So I knew quite young that I weren't straight, you know? I hadn't really had crushes yet but I remember we all used to play kiss chase at recess and I always wanted to kiss the girls and the boys. So I knew I wasn't straight. And I came out to my mom on Valentine's day because young me was making Valentine's day cards for all the boys in my class. Except for John. He was a cunt. I didn't like John. But anyways um- I ran downstairs and I yelled at the top of my lungs 'mama I'm gay!' And she looked really awkward and just replied 'that's nice, honey,' and I thought maybe she thought I was joking so I was like- 'no mama, I wanna kiss all the boys and all the girls,'- I didn't know what bi was, by the way- and she just gave me this really awkward look and said we'd talk about it later, and then she went to hang the washing. I didn't know if she was awkward because she didn't accept me or just the way I came out, and I still don't know and-..."

"Will?" He was crying by now, a sunset red undertone to his sunset amber glow, pushing the ball of his palms into his eyes to try and stop the tears.

"I never got to ask if she was okay with me being gay because a few minutes later I heard scary noises so I hid under the kitchen table and the scary noises sounded like a really big lion and I heard mama scream so I went out and I screamed because she was dead and bleeding and eaten and then it tried to eat me too but a goat man grabbed me and ran and took me to camp, and that's why I'm an all year round camper…"

"Will…" Nico began gently, before reaching out and holding him in a strong hug. "I wish I could tell you if your mom accepted you or not… and I wish I could make all your pain go away…"

"I always thought mama got killed because of me. Because if I didn't say I was gay she wouldn't have gone outside. So I didn't wanna tell anyone I liked boys ever in case they died, and I spent all these years so sure that she rejected me that day because she looked uncomfortable and sad and I felt like nobody loved me if my mama didn't love me and Valentine's day reminds me of all that and… it hurts… rejection hurts..."

"How long have you been holding all that in for," Nico asked softly, rubbing comforting circles on his back and gently carding his fingers through his hair. Will's hair was dry and floofy but it never seemed to knot.

"Since forever," Will sniffled, "and I felt bad because I could never celebrate Valentine's day without being real sad and thinking about rejection."

"Please don't feel bad," Nico said softly, "it's okay. We never have to celebrate it, it reminds you of your trauma."

"I didn't think anyone would understand…"

"My mom died too," Nico said quietly, pulling away from Will so he wouldn't overwhelm himself too much. "I watched her die too. But it wasn't a monster, it was Zeus."

"I- I didn't know, I'm so sorry," Will whispered, and Nico shook his head.

"I lost a sister about two days before Christmas. Bianca. Which is why I got upset when you wanted me to wear the Christmas jumper. But- my point is I understand how it can ruin a holiday, and I want you to know that I understand, and you're not alone because I relate."

"I'm sorry," Will said quietly, "I'm really sorry." Will moved to hug Nico, but Nico gently pushed him away. As usual, Will didn't protest or try again.

"I hate Valentine's day because I was outed," Nico began after a deep breath. Will's glow was sunset orange and yellow with concern. "I was outed by Eros to Jason. I had a crush on Percy in the past, and Eros made me tell him. Jason, I mean. He shot me with an arrow and everything. I wasn't ready to come out- I hadn't accepted myself yet. I wasn't comfortable. When I was a kid being gay would have got me killed. And after Eros made me come out it felt like suddenly everyone knew. And I even accidentally outed myself to an entire Roman Legion thingy. Then when you made me come to the infirmary I felt obliged to tell Percy. All my life I'd seen myself as creepy, and everyone else thought I was creepy, so I felt like I had to tell him. Like he had a right to know. I still wasn't okay with myself and I didn't want anybody to know, and I still struggle sometimes with internalised homophobia. Or at least a fear of being outed or being seen or being attacked. I can't handle hearing slurs or judging looks or bigoted preachers without breaking down in tears because I didn't ask for this and it feels like I'm constantly being punished when I didn't even do anything wrong. I'll just be minding my own business and some asshole tries to ruin it, because somehow, people just know."

"I understand that," Will said softly, but Nico felt scared- Will had an angry sunset red undertone to a near white yellow sunset glow. He thought Will was mad at him for being a coward. "I'm gonna smash every last Cupid statue and heart card I see dotted around camp. You shouldn't have to have your triggers and your trauma shoved in your face any day."

"Will don't," Nico said softly, reaching for Will's hand, and a sunrise orange began to seep through the darker undertones, like he was trying to reassure Nico that it was alright. "They don't know, and I don't want to ruin their day. I was gonna stay in my cabin, but… I'm glad I'm out here with you. I feel safe here with you."

"I feel safe with you too," Will said softly, and his glow radiated a warm sunrise amber with yellow undertones- fondness, golden.

"Maybe we should reclaim Valentine's day," Nico said quietly. "Make it ours. As a fuck you to all our trauma, y'know? Avoid all the traditions and just snog the fuck out of each other until we both turn blue then do whatever the fuck we want. We have each other now."

"So… celebrate Valentine's day to spite Valentine's day by making it our own? Not romantic, just spite?" Will seemed amused, a thin smile on his lips making one of his dimples prominent where the corner of his mouth turned upwards to form a lopsided smile.

"I'm powered by spite and I'm tiny so yeah," Nico replied, bumping shoulders with Will. "Hey… maybe one day when you're ready for answers, I can summon your mom," he suggested gently.

"Maybe," Will replied softly, "I love you."

"Ti amo."

So they kissed, and they kissed until Will's glow was golden and bright and encompassing Nico in warm rays, and the shadows were dancing around Nico and holding Will close. They kissed until they felt fuzzy and hot, and they kissed until things would have got real awkward if they would have continued. When they pulled apart, Will's cheeks were a ruddy pink to the tips of his ears and blotchy, and Nico was sure he was puce. Fuck Cupid and fuck manticores too. Nothing could take this love away from them.

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1063

survey by pinkchocolate

Have you done any of the same things as me this year? (2020 edition)

Planned a shopping spree with a friend?

Visited a shopping centre/mall? Malls are extremely commonplace here and honestly they already serve as the main tourist attractions if you find yourself in Manila, which is why Manila has never been a popular tourist destination itself (foreign tourists usually head to neighboring provinces, which is smart on their end). I’ve been to malls at least 20-30 times this year, but that’s only because of the pandemic. I probably go close to 50-70 times in a normal year.

Had lunch with a friend? Yeah I caught lunch with Angela a couple times at the start of the year. I had a one-photo-a-day gimmick on Instagram, and I’m pretty sure I have a photo of her in there during one of our lunch dates.

Ordered pizza at a restaurant? Again, at the start of the year. Gab and I loved Italian restaurants so we definitely ordered pizza several times.

Been in a department store? I needed to briefly enter one a couple of weeks ago to look for gift wrappers.

Bought pretty new lingerie?

Had coffee with a friend? Yeah Gab and I had study dates at coffee shops every single week. Now, obviously, I just take myself.

Bought DVDs?

Had a cold?

Bought toiletries as a gift for someone else?

Had dinner in a restaurant with your family? Yeah I’m fairly certain we did this at least a couple of times between January and early March. The last time I dined in anywhere was a month ago, but I was only with my parents and my siblings didn’t come along.

Had one of your kitchen appliances break? Our plumbing is a little fucked in general and sometimes we’ll have minor leaks on the floor. My dad’s knives have also gotten a bit dull, so I got him a new knife set for Christmas. But no damage to appliances.

Watched a movie at the cinema?

Struggled for food when the panic buying began? We struggled in that it was a bitch to enter the groceries at first. My dad did the grocieries for us during that time and that was back when they strictly enforced the number of people allowed in the supermarket at one time; and no matter how early he queued, there was always already a line that got there before him. He’d wait around three hours and once he was finally let in, a bunch of alleys or sections in the grocery would already be empty or at least close to becoming empty. We never went hungry or had to skip meals or anything like that, but I do remember having to make do with lesser-known brands we never used before because sometimes those would be the only options left at the grocery.

Wanted to hug a friend, but didn't because you had to social distance? I hugged Angela when I saw her a couple of days ago, and I also hugged Gab when we were still together.

Felt afraid of Covid? My fears over it have tamed over the year, to be honest; but I’m still wary, of course. I hate it when people stand near me and I follow the safety protocols everywhere I go.

Felt afraid to leave the house? Only during the peak of the virus, from March to around May or June. Nowadays I kinda have to go out every now and then for the sake of my sanity.

Deliberately avoided watching the news because it made you feel upset? I mean I took up journ lol so I always watch the news, no matter how upsetting it can get. The one and only time I remember asking my sister to switch the channel was when there was a report on animal abuse.

Had to cancel plans for your birthday? I didn’t have plans for it in the first place, or at least I didn’t have the chance to make them yet, so I’m glad there was nothing to cancel.

Spent your birthday at home? This was the only choice I had. My birthday fell on the most serious and strictest phase of the quarantine, and this was back when nothing was open yet.

Collected a parcel from your doorstep? Online shopping is a norm for me now, lol. I used to not trust it, but now I probably buy at least one item a week.

Eaten an entire box of chocolates in one day? I don’t even like chocolate that much. That sounds so uncomfortably sweet.

Drank fruit flavoured cider?

Eaten birthday cake? Sure, we had cake for my mom’s, my aunt’s, and my cousin’s/godson’s birthdays.

Had a grandparent move into long-term care? My remaining grandparents are all fortunately still very healthy.

Kept a journal of your thoughts and feelings during lockdown? This is technically it, whether’s there’s a lockdown or not. I tried starting a journal after my breakup, but I couldn’t keep it up because my wrist strains easily from handwriting now, hahaha. I find that doing surveys suffice.

Had distressing dreams/nightmares related to the pandemic? No, but about other pressing events in my life.

Felt concerned about your financial situation? Not mine but my family’s.

Returned to a social platform that you took a break from? I left Facebook for a few months after the breakup. I’m back on it again because I had missed the memes, but I also want to permanently delete that account for good, open a new one, and just add the people I want to keep having in my circle. Like I love Gabie’s family to death but I don’t see the point in being Facebook friends with them still, and it actually feels kinda awkward now still seeing them on my list. Idk. We’ll see. I might keep my account or start a new one altogether.

Missed a past hobby or interest? I mean I missed going to malls and bars and going out with my friends, if that counts as an interest. I had to do much less of that this year.

Started a new hobby? I started doing embroidery about a month ago, and a few days ago I started working out. My body is as sore as all fuck, but at least it makes me feel good about myself. For the new year, I also plan on starting a skincare routine after 22 years of not doing anything with my face lol and maybeeee start experimenting with coffee and buy different kinds of beans just because?? Idk, I have a lot of cute hobbies planned out for next year haha I’m excited to see how it goes.

Joined some new Facebook groups? Both for work and personal purposes, yep.

Made some new friends online? I definitely like that I’ve become closer and more familiar with the survey community here. I feel like I barely interacted with anyone pre-Covid, when real life was still a bit more hectic and when it was more difficult to find time to relax and sit down and read everyone’s answers. I also became friends with Justine, Angel, and Bianca when I started as an intern at my workplace.

Felt annoyed because you saw someone without a mask? Everyone wears a mask in public, and there are always people assigned to monitor and lightly scold those stubborn enough to take their masks off. So this isn’t the case, but what I do find annoying is when people stand or walk too close to you. Just last week at the grocery this lady was close enough to be breathing down my neck when I was lining up at the cashier; being non-confrontational for the most part, it felt like being in the deepest pit of hell.

Felt like people were staring at you when you wore a mask? I feel like people are more likely to stare at people who DON’T have a mask.

Bought new stationery? My sister has tons of stationery in her room for whatever reason; when I need one to write short notes or letters, I just ask for some from her.

Video-called your extended family and friends? For sure. We did this a lot especially during the earlier parts of the year.

Written a letter to someone you missed?

Disagreed with the behaviour of a friend?

Felt surprised when someone wanted to be your friend? No one directly said it to me; but as an intern on my first day of the job, it was a really pleasant surprise to find that the co-interns I was going to be with weren’t boring, unemotional cogs who just aimed to do work. They were HILARIOUS from the get-go, was confused as fuck about work, and I could see they just wanted to make our tiny intern family a close-knit and happy group, to which I gladly agreed and went along with.

Bought a new pair of shoes? I got new shoes meant for my first job interview, but I haven’t gotten any brand new sneakers in a while :(

Replaced some toiletries that you ran out of during lockdown? I guess? Toiletries are necessities, so.

Bought some new books? I read new ones, but I didn’t buy them. Some I saw copies of on the internet; one was given as a gift to me.

Bought new cosmetics? I don’t use those.

Received a belated birthday present?

Received a present from a friend overseas?

Discovered a new author that you liked?

Felt like you were drifting away from people you were once close to? *A person. Yeah, well.

Found out that someone you knew had contracted Covid? She’s a mutual friend from my high school days. We aren’t close but we’ve kept in touch by still following each other on social media. She wrote about her experience with Covid on a blog entry.

Realised you had formed a deep connection with someone? I got a lot closer with Andi both because we had to work together for our thesis and because they were there for me, unconditionally and untiringly, when I was coping with my breakup and was in rough shape.

Worried about the financial situation of someone close to you? Of my family, like I said, yes. We had to sell the Vitara because the money that pours into the household monthly isn’t enough to keep paying for it. To be fair, that car was a very big impulse buy by my dad, so we didn’t and don’t feel too bad about losing it hahaha.

Let your guard down to someone? I don’t think so. I was on red alert this year since Gab increasingly broke my trust.

Had an issue with something on social media? Yeah, but I don’t want to get into it. That was such a long time ago and is so irrelevant now.

Felt disconnected from others? I deliberately did so three months ago, so much so that I had acquaintances I barely talked to since graduating talk to Andi and ask where I’ve been.

Changed your internet provider? We’ve had the same one for like 8-9 years now. It works pretty okay for five people who stream videos all day, so we haven’t felt the need to switch.

Felt fortunate/thankful? I mean I’m here, scar-less, and happy with myself on December 31, 2020, right?

Tried some new foods that you enjoyed? Baked sushi is so fucking good.

Re-read a book that you loved? Crazy Is My Superpower by AJ Mendez (aka my favorite girl wrestler, AJ Lee) is always a good read to come back to.

#survey #surveys

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eurydicecostas-blog · 7 years

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a boundless moment || katury.

WHO: Eurydice Costas & Katherine Hillard ( @rangeredup )

WHAT: Kat has a heart to heart with Eury when she tries to run away.

WHEN: Monday 13th March 2017.

WARNINGS: Katury bonding is precious.

Ever since the rangers had successfully completed their rescue mission of Tommy and Griffin, Kat had been walking on air. She was thrilled to have the men back home, safe from Devone’s gruesome grasp, but that wasn’t the only accomplishment fueling her chipper demeanor. She’d never lost faith in their abilities to succeed, of course, but seeing the team — her team — work together to accomplish a common goal had left her with an overwhelming sense of admiration and pride for the teens. It was an accomplishment she wouldn’t soon let them forget. Turning the unicorn bag over in her hands, she walked through the corridors of Brittany Hall, searching, peacefully, for room 214B. It was smaller than she’d remembered, and she momentarily wondered how such a place could contain the likes of ‘eurory’ (as they so dubbed themselves), but her thoughts were forgotten as she approached the room in question. When she got there, the room was open, and she could hear the faint sounds of rustling inside so she peaked her head in, leaning against the door frame. “Knock, knock,” She greeted, but her friendly smile faded as she noticed the intense amount of packing Eurydice was doing. “Going somewhere?”

To say that Eury hadn’t been feeling herself ever since her epic failure would be an understatement. Since leaving the care of Kat, she’d been miserable. She barely got out of bed, unless it was for classes, and her motivation was completely dead. It was like a part of her had died when Griffin plunged his knife into her stomach. Perhaps it was her faith in other human beings dwindling away, or maybe it was just hurt she was feeling from being betrayed by someone she once considered a friend. Whatever it was had driven her to want to escape everything, though. She wanted to get away from NYU, from her friends, and away from the responsibilities of being a ranger. As she shoved more clothes into her backpack, she didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the hallway, so when she heard Kat’s voice, she was a little startled. “What? No.” It was a lie, and both of them knew it, but Eury didn’t care. People didn’t really care about her, not even her own sister, so why would Kat care if she was really running away? “I’m just going home for a couple of days. Not that it’s any of your business. Shouldn’t you be busy making more serum with Syria? You’re going to need a new Red Ranger, so you better get on it.” Her tone was gruff, and she knew she was being harsh, but she’d never in her life been able to control her emotions. She always took her mood out on those around her, rather than confronting her feelings full on. Avoiding making eye contact with the woman who helped save her life, she zipped up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder before pulling her hood up over her head. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got somewhere to be.” Before turning around to face her mentor, she grabbed her sunglasses from the bedside cabinet, putting them on to hide her eyes. She definitely didn’t want Kat to know she’d been crying. “Don’t worry, I’m not joining Devone.”

Kat closed her mouth, narrowing her gaze at the younger woman. She spotted the lie a mile away, but there were several issues at hand here, the largest being that she felt the need to lie in the first place. It was clear to Katherine that the failure in the tunnel had been hard on the red ranger. Eury wasn’t her usually rambunctious self, and it was becoming a major cause for concern. Her face fell at the intentional dig, and Kat stiffened. She pursed her lips, giving a slight nod. “I suppose that’s fair,” she accepted. Her part in choosing these kids to be heroes weighed heavily on her conscious, but she hoped, in time, that they would grow to understand. There was so much they didn’t know; so much unaccounted for. “But I’m not a chemist,” she cracked a small smile, hoping a friendly gesture would defuse the situation. “I hardly doubt it’ll work out so well.” Sighing, she crossed her arms across her chest and allowed a moment to pass. “I’m sorry, Eurydice,” her voice softened. One of the hardest parts of being a mentor was holding her own emotions back. Stepping forward, Kat closed the door gently behind her but did not progress any further into the room. “When I made my selection, it was for keeps.” In any other situation Katherine would have laughed at the ridiculous getup Eury had donned, but she didn’t have the heart to do it now; not when things were clearly so serious. “You’re free to do as you wish, but you are the red ranger of this team. Like it or not, the others look to you for guidance, and even if we could create some sort of transference, I wouldn’t. Regardless of what happened, I know I’ve made the right choice. It’s up to you to believe that too.” Shifting on her feet, Katherine absentmindedly rubbed her arm. “Why don’t we have a seat?” she suggested, motioning to one of the beds. Joining Devone was the least of Katherine’s concerns after they’d been subjected to the misery he caused, but it was clear they couldn’t go on like this. “Come on. Take off your glasses, and let’s talk about what’s on that mind of yours. I’m sure whatever’s waiting for you will still be there when we’re through. You’re not expecting anyone are you?”

Eury was a little shocked that Kat agreed that her bitter words were fair. She at least expected her to argue back a little, and tell her that she had no choice. But she did have a choice, and she’d chosen them to become the Power Rangers, and Eury had no idea why. She especially didn’t know why she’d been chosen as the leader, when she was clearly one of the most irresponsible team members. “It’s fine,” Eury lied as she heard Kat’s apology. She didn’t need her to say sorry, she needed her to reverse what she’d done to her. Yeah, it was pretty cool being able to make fire with your hands, but it was also cool to be a normal human being. “So, what you’re saying is that I can choose not to fight, but you won’t find a replacement? That’s kinda shitty, Katherine. It’ll make the rest of the team blame me when things go wrong. I’m not a leader. I can’t lead. How do you know you made the right choice? Do you not remember how fucking mad you were at me and Rory when I did lead? I was the wrong choice. You should’ve chosen Bianca, she clearly does a better job than me, and you clearly trust her more. Or maybe you could even pick Reese.” As Kat gestured for Eury to sit, she sighed over dramatically before doing so. “If I take my glasses off, you’ll see how puffy my eyes are. I’m allergic to Rory’s perfume, so like… They get really red…” She truly hoped the blonde would buy that lie as she removed her sunglasses and put them in her pocket. “No, I’m not expecting anyone. Rory and Aspen are doing stuff today, which is why I was packing while I had peace.” Shifting awkwardly in her seat, Eury suddenly felt very put on the spot. It kind of felt like she was back in therapy. “Look, doc, I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. I got stabbed by someone I considered a friend, and I’m over it. Look, even my body is over it,” she said as she lifted up her hoodie and shirt to reveal a faint line where her wound once was. “I got betrayed by another person I considered a friend, who was working with you all along, but that’s fine. She’s also Devone’s daughter, which is really fucking fine.” It was obvious that Eury was getting a little worked up as her fists began to bunch, and her breaths became more rapid. “It’s also super okay that my sister disregarded everything I said about Griffin being dangerous, and basically just classed me as a liar and hung out with him anyway, in my home.” Standing up from the edge of the bed, Eury stepped forward and turned to face the wall, resting her palms against it as she put her head down and breathed deep to quell her anger and rising emotions. “I’m also totally cool with Bianca, Reese and that traitor Syria saving your husband, when you told me that I was the one chosen to lead. I was really fucking okay with you benching me like a naughty, misbehaving preschooler. And do you know what I’m the most fine with? Feeling like I’m not safe anymore. And feeling like all my friends have forgotten what happened to me, just because Griffin is back and being nice. I can’t forget. I don’t freakin’ get that luxury! I still have nightmares about what he did to me. When I look at him, I still see the guy who nearly ended my life. I don’t see what they see. I still see the monster who hurt me. I can’t forgive that, and I won’t forgive. So don’t even try to make me. You have no fucking idea what it’s like to be inside my head, and to feel the things I feel. I don’t want to be in the Power Rangers, I don’t want these stupid powers, I don’t want to be at NYU, and I most of all don’t want to be a burden to Aspen anymore. All I am for her is a chore, and I was forced on her. I was forced on Mrs. Holmes, too. I wanna leave here right now, and go somewhere far, far away. I don’t want any of this. I don’t need any of it. I don’t need anyone.” Her eyes were screwed shut tightly, and she could feel flames forming at her fingertips as she removed her hands from the wall.

Throughout the entire rant, Kat remained silent and still. She could see it clearly. Griffin’s blade had pierced far more than flesh and bone; it had cracked the surface, and as her affliction bled out, Eury shattered. The realization turned Kat’s stomach into knots, and her heart ached so strongly that she was sure it would split in two. Still, she waited patiently for her to get it all out. With her eyes trained on the younger woman, she waited to be sure she was finished before lowering herself to the edge of a bed. "I don't know where to begin," she confessed, motioning for Eury to join her. The issues at hand were rooted deep and could not be solved overnight. She’d been in difficult situations in the past, but despite any similarities, this was new. The five were rapidly becoming like children to her. Except she had no experience in being a mother. Folding her hands in her lap, she trained her eyes on her. “Eurydice, please. Look at me…” she requested gently. “I can't pretend to understand what you're going through. I don’t know what it’s like to have a family that doesn’t support me, and I don’t know what it’s like to feel betrayed by someone I love. But we’re not that different. I have a foster sister too, and up until she found her parents, I’m sure she felt the same way. It’s difficult not to, but it’s important to remember that you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t love you. There are options for children without homes, and as unfortunate as it is, welcoming them into our lives isn’t always one of them.” Pausing for a moment, she let that sink in. She didn’t have the answers; no one would, but she empathized with the woman. Watching her drag herself down wasn’t easy to watch. “It’s okay to be upset, but they don’t know the things we know,” she spoke gently. “That’s no excuse, but if we faulted every person who didn’t understand, we’d be fighting alone. You don’t want that.” Shaking her head, she motioned to a wide array of photos hanging on the wall on the other side of the room. She could see, clearly, the various faces of Eury and the other rangers that Rory had taken. “Angry or not, you are family. That doesn’t stop when you lay the armor down. As for Griffin, you need time to heal. How you choose to do that is up to you, but as someone who was in Griffin’s shoes once…” She hesitated, contemplating her words as a wave of remorse crossed her features. Looking to her hands, she spoke sincerely. “You can’t hate him more than he hates himself. As much as you need space, he needs support, and none of you are wrong. It’ll take some time to process, but they wouldn’t be doing this if they thought he could hurt you.” Catching her eyes, Kat sighed. Though her feelings were valid, there was so much of it she had wrong. “Do you want to know why I chose you as as a ranger.”

Although she felt somewhat better after letting her anger come out through her words, Eury still couldn’t shake the feeling of annoyance, and also emptiness. Now that she’d said everything she felt out loud, she suddenly felt very hollow. Taking a seat next to Kat, Eury pulled her lower lip between teeth. She felt like she’d revealed too much to the older woman, and that she now knew her weaknesses. Turning her head, she finally let her eyes lock with Kat’s; she had eyes that reminded her of her mother's. They were soft, welcoming, and familiar. Although Eury didn’t have many memories of the woman who gave birth to her, one thing she always remembered was the way she looked at her whenever she fell down and scraped her knee, her eyes full of concern and sadness. Or the way her eyes lit up whenever her little girl was happy. Kat had the eyes of a mother, and for some strange reason, they made Eury want to stay put, rather than run and hide away. As Kat spoke, she found herself actually listening for once. Like, really listening to what she had to say, and not just pretending to. Nobody had ever sat down with Eury and really acknowledged her feelings before, but that was mostly due to her never confiding in anyone. “I just wish that I felt like I belong. I’m just… I always feel like I’m running 10 miles behind everyone else. Everybody has everything figured out, and they have families that support them and love them… Then there’s just me, and it gets lonely. I know that I have the rangers, but it’s not the same, Kat. I don’t have a mom, or a dad. Mrs. Holmes is amazing, and I love her, of course I do… But she’s not my mom. She’s Aspen’s.” Bringing one of her hands up to her face, Eury rubbed furiously at her eyes with the back of it. Crying was so weak. She was weak. “I don’t wanna fight alone, you’re right… I care about my friends, and I maybe even love ‘em. Griffin, too… That’s why it sucks so fuckin’ bad that he hurt me.” Eury’s brow furrowed as Kat mentioned how she’d once been a position the same as Griffin. That certainly wasn’t what she was expecting to hear. “Well, he might hate himself, but it doesn’t change the fact that I almost died. Nothing can change that. It’s something both me and him have to face. The others can trust him around me all they want, but I don’t trust him around me right now. I need to have my time away from him until I can believe he really is the person he was before Devone got to him again.” Eury could tell that Kat was being sincere in everything she said, but she could tell that she was also slightly rooting for Griffin to be granted forgiveness. “Everything is just a lot right now, and it’s tough. Other people can go call their mom, or hug their dad and feel like everything is solved, but I can only hug Rory and pretend that her impressions of Aspen make everything better. I just… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow.” When Kat asked if she wanted to know why she’d chosen her as a ranger, Eury looked at her a little warily. “Because I’m violent and damaged, and you thought that giving me a purpose and magic powers would fix me?” Sighing heavily, she shook her head before offering Kat a half sincere smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. Why did you pick me?”

Once she was seated, Kat rested a palm on her shoulder and squeezed it softly. She often found comfort in touch — the connection providing both unity and stability in moments like these — and she hoped Eury could do the same. The struggle was not entirely unfamiliar to her, and the least she could do was sit and listen. It was hard, watching her so torn up inside, forced to confront terrible feelings that had likely been creeping up for years. She breathed deeply, wishing that there was some way she could ease the pain. “My intent is not to be right, Eurydice,” she offered a sympathetic grin. Pausing for a moment, she contemplated her words carefully. “When this whole thing started, I made myself a promise. I knew that choosing the next generation of rangers would mean forcing you all into a life that you didn’t ask for, and in doing so, you were compromised. That’s something I have to live with, but I promised myself then that I wouldn’t abandon you. I promised to train, develop and guide you, and if it comes down to it — I’ll stand by you too. I’ll fight, because you kids are not expendable to me. You’re not just heroes. I know it’s not the same as having a mom or a dad, but I am here for you, Eurydice. I’m not going anywhere. Believe it or not, we’re all new to this in a way. We’re in this together. So now I’m promising you too.” She leans in a bit, a warm smile on her face. She couldn’t ease the fear or erase the pain, but reassurance was something she could give. She closed her mouth for a moment, understanding the red ranger’s resistance towards Griffin. He hadn’t joined their team, but Katherine had hopes that he may one day change his mind. That couldn’t happen if he remained at odds with their leader. “You don’t have to smile and pretend everything’s okay if that’s not how you feel. There’s no need for facades when, quite frankly, you’re being fair to him. Sacrificing your own comfort to accommodate his would be an injustice to yourself, so as long as you aren’t closed off to healing, I’d say you’re on the right path. It’ll take time to come to terms with the things he’s done, for both you and him, but there’s no limitations on that.” She removed her hand from her shoulder and let it fall to her lap. Her face fell at the sardonic bite, but she held Eury’s gaze throughout it all, noting the apprehension written across her face. “First of all, you’re not damaged or in any need of fixing. I don’t want to hear that from you again. But second of all, I chose you because of passion. I actually wrote ‘a force to be reckoned with,’ and I stand by that statement. Honestly, I’ve always seen you as a little fearless, but I trust that that comes from your strength and desire to succeed.” Grinning, she couldn’t help but encourage. “You are one fierce woman, and your confidence, when you believe in yourself, is what’s going to lead your team to victory. The truth is, you’re already everything a leader needs to be. All that’s left to do is embrace it.”

Eury’s eyes glanced at Kat’s hand which was resting on her shoulder, and she felt the pit of her stomach tighten. Her father used to do that exact same thing whenever he was leaving to go to work, or he was saying goodbye to her as she headed towards the door to leave for school. In fact, he did it the day he left. He squeezed her shoulder, smiled at her, and told her that he’d see her later. What a huge lie that turned out to be. “People promise to stick by people all the time, but it’s not...possible. At some point in life, everyone you trust is going to hurt you, or let you down. Even if they don’t mean to, or even want to. It happens. I don’t like promises, Kat. If you tell someone you’ll do something without promising it to them, then it doesn’t hurt as much when they don’t follow through with what they said. But when you promise someone something, that’s when it hurts. If you make a promise and you break it, nothing hurts more than that.” Eurydice knew that she was revealing too much about herself to her mentor, and letting her in on all her insecurities, but for some reason, it felt okay to do that with her. “Let’s just say that you’re going to try your hardest to be here for me, and to guide me. In turn, I’ll try my hardest to be a good ranger.” Eury was a little shocked that Kat was so okay with the fact that she didn’t want to forgive Griffin, or even be around him. She was half expecting her to teleport him into the room, and then force them to hug. As Kat removed her hand, Eury instantly missed the the warmth and comfort that it was providing her with, but she wasn’t going to admit that out loud. Kat could never know that she secretly craved human touch and affection as much as anybody else. As she listened to the woman explain why she picked her, she tried to ignore the emotions that began to overwhelm her. Nobody had ever liked her because of how fearless she could be, they’d only ever ridiculed her for it. Mostly because her fearlessness often took her down a path of violent destruction, so she couldn’t really blame anyone for not praising her for it in the past. “You’re not so bad yourself, doc,” Eury replied with a slight smirk. “I’m just scared that I’m going to get people hurt. I don’t want any of my team to get killed by Devone, or his stupid little minions. I just want to keep everyone safe, including you and Tommy.” Casting her eyes downward, she thought back to the tunnels, and how easily Rory got thrown around by Griffin. It made her stomach churn, and she closed her eyes, then shook her head to get rid of the image. “I don’t want to come back from a battle one day carrying a dead friend in my arms. If I fail at even the slightest thing, then it’s my team who suffer; not me. I’m violent, always angry, irritable, and impulsive. I’m all of those things and more, but... I want to be good. I wanna make up for things I’ve done in the past, and not be like my dad. If being the Red Ranger means that I can be a good person at the end of it all, then I’ll do anything to defeat Devone, and keep us all alive.” With a new feeling of determination washing over her, Eury turned her head to look Kat in the eye. “I won’t let you down.” With those words hanging in the air, she reached for Kat’s hand that was still resting in her lap and squeezed it. Not bothering to let it go, she turned her head to look at the backpack full of clothes on the floor in front of her. “I guess I’m not leaving anymore. You’re always going to be right around the corner, ready to pull me up about my rashness, huh?” Eury asked with a lopsided smile. “How annoying.”

Kat’s heart sank at the statement, not because she thought it might be true, but because Eury actually believed that it was. She wondered how many disappointments she’d had to face to get there and swallowed at the thought of it. She decided then, that she wouldn’t be one of them; not if she could help it. She closed her mouth and exhaled slowly before nodding. If agreeing to her terms was what Eury wanted, then that’s what she would do. “Then I’ll give you my best,” she vowed, eyes resting on the red ranger. Reaching behind them, she rested her hand on her back in what she hoped was reassurance. For the time being, Eury was here, and that alone was considered a victory. Katherine relaxed with the more she spoke, the tension in her muscles releasing as a small grin tugged at her lips. “It sounds like you and I want the same things,” she encouraged. “It won’t always be easy, but anger, temper and rage — those things are manageable. Martial arts, for example, teaches patience and is a constructive way to release stress and frustration. We can give you the tools, but the rest is up to you. You’re off to a pretty good start, if you ask me,” she stressed. “...I would like to tell you to forget the past and focus on move forward, but I think that’d be a mistake. Ultimately, those things have shaped you and made you stronger, but they don’t define you. What’s done is done, and no amount of penance will change that. Being the red ranger won’t make you a good person, Eurydice. That’s just armor. You being you will.” A moment passed and as Eury looked her in the eye, Katherine felt proud and nodded at the new resolve. “I know,” she revealed, grin spreading across her face. “And I suppose not, but I think that’s for the best. Your friends are gonna need you,” she said. Chuckling softly, she couldn’t argue with that, so instead, she rubbed her back and said. “Oh come on… I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”

Eury gave Kat a simple, yet somewhat happy smile as she agreed to say that she’d simply try her best. It was better than promising, and it was something that Eury could settle on. Her body relaxed a little as she felt the gentle pressure of her hand against her back. She could maybe get used to this physical affection stuff. Martial arts sounded like a more constructive way for the girl to burn off her anger than punching walls, or decking the nearest person. Perhaps she’d even learn how to find inner peace. Tommy seemed like the chillest guy to ever walk the earth, so she could only assume that it gave you some kind of balance. The weight of Kat’s words rested heavily on Eury’s shoulders. Being the red ranger won’t make you a good person, Eurydice. Oh, how she wished that wasn’t true. “Believe me, I wish I could forget the past, but I’m never going to be able to, so I suppose I have no choice but to let it keep shaping me, and hope for the best. The armor makes me… It makes me feel invincible, which is kinda dangerous. But when I’m suited up, I feel like… Like I am better, because I’m doing something. When I’m just me… That’s all I am. People don’t see past my anger, and my immaturity. They don’t think I can be strong, and they don’t believe I have problems just like everyone else. I dunno. I guess there’s a lot more bonding to be done when it comes to the team.” Smiling and shaking her head, Eury kicked the backpack in front of her under the bed. “Maybe I will, but if Rory asks, I find you totally annoying and want to kill you,” she laughed. “I have a reputation to maintain, and we can’t have my gang thinking I’ve gone soft. They need me to be a badass. Badasses don’t have deep and meaningful conversations with their mentors.”

Kat listened to her speak, and she had to admit that the concept was a little dangerous. Being a ranger did not grant invincibility, but Eury seemed to know this. At least to some extent. “I think you’re right,” she agreed. The team was fresh, and they didn’t have their friendship as a backbone this time around. They were five individuals tied together by this one thing, but in order to be successful, they were going to need a lot more than that. Placing her hand over her heart, she kept her face straight and said, “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of anything else. You have a reputation, after all.” Breaking out into a grin, Katherine chuckled. They were going to be okay.

#para005 #para: kat.#para.

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a-tale-of-legends · 3 years

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A deep-dive to N's relationship with Alexis and Elliot.

Part 1

Part 2: Neo

It's been 2 years after the events of black and white. Unova, for the most part, has been peaceful. Which means life moves on.

It....kinda hurt when Bianca and Cheren started to drift away. Bianca had her studies and Cheren was training to be a gym leader. Elliot's happy for them, she is, but it still hurts. She feels alone. Maybe she wouldn't if her brother didn't leave for a green haired weirdo, but okay. Sure. Choose someone who doesn't want to be found over your own goddamn sister! Not like she care( she does).

N, amongst his travels, have learned a lot. He meet different people, different pokemon, all of which have varied reactions upon meeting him. He's glad to have meet those he can.

He thinks about the twins. He realizes that his farewell.... wasn't the best. "Hey I'm sorry for the things I caused, follow your dream and farewell?" That's leaves lots of room for confusion. He...feels like he could have done that better. Maybe if he hadn't rushed out there. He needs to make it up to his friends( even if they don't see the same way)

Though that might to have to wait: Reshiram is sensing the pain of another pokemon, Kyurem she says. N hopes that this pain is merely natural, though given Reshirand's worry....it is not. N steels himself and rushes over to Unova.

Neither of them were expecting to dumb into each other in Nimbasa City( the irony). Upon seeing N again, Elliot felt all the anger and sadness she felt for the past 2 years just well up. One minute she's trying to punch him( she keeps missing, why is he so nimble?) , the next she's crying on the Nimbasa streets, cursing at N, at Alexis, at everyone. At herself.

If this was two years ago, N probably would have left the minute Elliot was about to swing at him, and he was, but.... the anger in her face, the sadness in her eyes....it felt all too familiar. All due to him, no doubt. So he stays, barely managing to dodge her punches, and sitting next to her as she cries and rants about everything that has happened the past two years.

Including Alexis " going to find him"

" He left to look for me?"

" Yes!"

"....That's.... incredibly illogical"

" I KNOW!!"

The two stay like this for a while, Elliot ranting to N, unintentionally catching him up with things( Cheren became a gym leader, Bianca is an assistant to....Juniper), and of course, Alexis disappearance. Which is strange given how Reshiram would have probably sensed at least something from Zekrom. Then again, running away and being in deep danger are two separate things. Unless Alexis put Zekrom back in the Dark Stone. Wait-

Before N could voice his( probably unwanted) concerns, Elliot, for some reason, invites him to her and Alexis' house. Why? He doesn't know. Well he do know, because " you look a trash goblin". She then proceeds to pick up twigs and leaves from his hair.

Oh.

Well alright then.

The kind gesture ended up with awkward family meetings, apologizes, crying, and a sleepover. It was.....good. N even allowed Elliot to braid his hair.

Though that was the calm before the storm. Opelucid City was reported to be frozen over by a floating ship. Plasma. Thankfully, two kids( Eva and Wayne) manage to drive them off. But still....

With their minor bonding moment under their belts, N and Elliot come up with a plan:

1. Try and locate where Ghetsis is through Kyurem. It may be weak, given Kyurems state, but they have to try.

2. Try and get the old Team Plasma to help out in anyway they can( N is a bit hesitant at this, but he'll try)

3. Try to fucking call Alexis again, he better not have Zekrom in the Dark Stone , they need the man power-

4. Alert Bianca , the professor and the other gym leaders to prepare for an emergency evacuation. Just in case things go for the worse.

Step 1 and 2 were easy enough, Kyurems connection to Reshiram was still very weak, bit it was there. Seeing Team Plasma again was a weird experience for everyone( though N was happy to see his sisters are well....even if he got scolded for leaving). Step 3 was....hard. Just like the two years before, Alexis wouldn't pick up any form of communication. When N asked Reshiram could sense Zekrom... nothing. Alexis must have put Zekrom back into the Dark Stone. N tries not to judge him on that.

The best they could do is leave a very lengthy voicemail and pray that it reaches him, let alone he will come.

For now they just act.

Upon reaching Gaint Chasm, they meet an almost icicle impaled Eva. The good news is that they came just in time. The bad news is that Reshiram got forcibly fused with with Kyurem, N literally has no other pokemon, and Elliot is busy with literally the dozens of grunts heading there way. Eva( bless her soul) is managing to fight Ghetsis on her own, but with a fused Legendary and a maniac with a Hydreigon that hates it's trainers soul, things don't look so good-

Oh.

Wait.

Is that-

Wait, wait, no time for that! They have a region to save.

N can't help but feel entirely useless in the whole thing. Watching a strange, but brave girl take on her fa- Ghetsis. Ghetsis. Then there's Elliot, holding of as many grunts as she can.

And then there's Alexis. Zekrom on one side. Kai on the other, facing the fused Legendary. He.... doesn't look happy to be here. In fact it looks like a great discomfort to even be here. He looks terrible. Worse than the last time N saw him. His eyes are beyond tired, heavy eye bags under each eye. His clothes are in tears and his hat is no wear to be seen. Going back to his eyes, there tired, yes, but also seem....lost? It seems so glazed over, so.....lost? That's the best way N can put it.

Did....did Alexis really leave Unova to look for him?

Alexis doesn't move, his eyes only focused on the fused Kyurem. He doesn't look anywhere else. Not at Eva. Not N. Not Ghetsis. Not even a glance back to see his sister. He'll help where he can, and then he'll leave. Just... don't look at them. It'll just make the guilt feel worse.

Soon the battle is over. Sadly, Ghetsis got away, but given his sickly response....he won't be back.

Alexis ignores the nervous attempts of the stranger( Eva, she said her name was), returned Kai to her ball( also ignoring the look she's giving him) and tries to get on Zekroms back before-

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Elliot was already there before, her fists slamming into his face,in a rage. Bianca and Cheren then enter the cold cave. They looked worried, asking about Eva( ah, they already replaced him....fair), then confusion to why Elliot is yelling, to shock. Bianca had tears in her eyes. Cheren....it's hard to look at him( any of them really). But then he hears yelling and he already knows what he's in four. Great.

Elliot is, rightly, pissed. Does she miss her brother? Absolutely! Is she glad that he's alive? Of course! Is she pissed that he left without a word and didn't maintain contact at all, bascically leaving her and her family clueless? FUCK YES. She's beyond ready to give Alexis a fucking lecture of the century.

But then she looks at him.

The person in front of her looks broken. So terrible , terrible broken. She thinks she saw in flinch once, which was when she punched him. But after that, he just sat there. Eating in all the words that she let out. That's .....that's not right he- he's already broken. Her words will just make it worse. So she stops. Cheren picks up for her.

N watches this.... reunion, and can't help put feel out of place. Not that is wasn't anything new to him but....it hurts to see them like this. All angry and sad. He has lots of things to say to Alexis, but now doesn't seem like the right time. So he quietly tells a very shaken Eva to go to the league, all while escorting her out if the blasted cave. Only Bianca notices, and through her tears she gives them a small nod.

And it just leaves an angry but confused Elliot, a just angry( but also very worried) Cheren, a crying Bianca, and a tired, broken Alexis.

What a reunion.

#oc: elliot jones #oc: alexis jones #n harmonia

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