#she finally got a prestige though so im happy about that

[time2commitbastardlyactions]

So Renata didn't get a Coven skin, but Akali got TWO??

If Renata was never going to get one, then I can accept that, but Akali is just such a weird decision...

[pcktsprgrl]

Annabelle's Diary (She Can Never know)

Pairings: annabelle parsons x mc

Rating: general

Published:  2/17/19

Disclaimer: the characters are not mine.

Author's notes: so Idk.. Just got the idea to write from annabelle's pov a bit.

My visits to edgewater have been quite different since Harry passed. Im not sure how much longer I can keep visiting and delaying a new engagement as my parents wish.

The Earl says I am welcome there all I like. Though even he has begun treating me slightly different.

~~~

Edgewater has never been such a buzz since.. Well since poor harry. I swear miss Sutton and miss bowman would not shut up about it. I suppose I should be thankful it is different from their usual drabble.

Though I scarcely can stand their constant gossip. Talk of the earl's "natural" daughter coming to edgewater is all anyone is talking about. I thought the countess might faint ! Well I sure hope she's more interesting than most of the ladies around here. 

~~~~

I met her today I think. She was more beautiful than I expected. I ran right into her and she barely moved an inch. I could feel the heat rising within me. She bent to pick up my fan and when she stood her beautiful eyes nearly knocked the air from my lungs.

My hand lingered perhaps a bit too long. Her smile was as if the sun itself had shown upon me. She can never know. No one can.

~~~

Early morning with the ladies sewing circle was a positive bore. More gossip that I promptly tuned out as I worked on my bag. Of course they started on the earl's daughter as if being a few moments late were a criminal offense.

The room fell silent and i chanced a glance up. There she stood awkwardly fumbling for an excuse. My heart thudded loudly in my chest and i scarcely thought someone might hear. The countess snapped at her and made rude comments the entire time. Mostly directed at her upbringing, as if that means anything at all.

They asked her to play the pianoforte and it was obvious she had no idea how so I quickly volunteered. She smiled warmly at me and for a moment I could not breath.

As she accompanied me in song she shyly placed a hand on my shoulder. I felt as if I had left my body. The warmness of her hand radiated over me and tingles spread.

She called me beautiful and alluring, but I dare not dwell on such compliments. Im sure she hadn't meant it, or may think better of them soon.  I wonder what it might have been like growing up where she was. Perhaps then we could be together. As if she would have any interest in me.

~~~~~~

I believe seeing her daily is a blessing and a curse. Today the Earl hosted a garden party in her honor. We escaped her latest admirer and ran down by the lake. I can't remember feeling so childlike and carefree in such a long time. She makes me feel as though the ducks I fed have taken flight in my abdomen, my head feels tingly like Ive had too much champagne and my heart sings anew. A beat only for her.

I hadn't realized we had gotten so close until her breath was on my skin. Her eyes sparkled with mischief and my skin flushed.

She asked me to dance and i glanced around making sure I was not mistaken. It felt so perfect having her in my arms, like something from a fairytale. The song ended and so did the fairytale as the Earl announced her as his rightful heir.

I know this means she'll have to marry, probably one of these awful men that were at the party. I am not sure I can take being so close yet so far from her. Perhaps I should refrain from going to Edgewater.

~~~~

My family cannot seem to stop talking about the season in London. They seem determined I should find a match or risk the entire family's reputation. The thought of it makes me quite ill. None of these men make me feel much at all. Perhaps there is something wrong with me after all?

~~~

My heart both fell and soared when I found out Lady Clara would be joining us for the season in London. I fear what she may do If she finds out what's truly on my mind.

We arrived in London to find no escort to her town house. Typical Clara fashion she charged ahead. If there was a whole city at our feet why not explore it? She had said with a laugh eyes twinkling with mischief. She held her hands out wide and I could not seem to tear my eyes away. I feel as if I shall surely give myself away.

Yet another admirer was caught by her beauty as a prince's carriage nearly ran her down in the street. She stood tall and scolded him. I could almost tell what he was feeling because I feel it everytime she's near.

His gentle smile and deep bow made my stomach churn. She returned his smile and took his hand. At least he will be gentle and caring with her, if she chooses him.

~~~

What a bore! My family constantly going on about potential suitors. How they'll find me the best match yet. Then they come up with the Viscount?  What does that say about me?

A man, older than my grandfather , looking for wife number five, is really my perfect match.

They scoff and scold me for not taking this more seriously, but how can I? When my heart belongs elsewhere. If only Harry hadn't passed. At least he understood. 

~~~

She said the most remarkable thing today as we tried on gowns. If only we could be married. I scarcely knew what to say. She looked so stunning in her gown for the theater. When she turned and asked me to help her out of the dress she has chosen.

I stared unmoving as she moved her hair looking over her shoulder at it. Slowly I began unbuttoning her dress, down the length of her spin. My mind wandered where it ought not and my fingers slowly grazed her skin. Goose flesh arose and I swear her breath hitched. I dare not think of this longer.

~~~~

How unfortunate the Viscount caught us going into the theater! Duke Richards was there as well being as vile as ever.

I knew Lady Clara was growing more uncomfortable the longer the play went on. I didn't find out until intermission the true nature of her discomfort. We switched seats though she worried he may try something on me. I wished I could throw him from the balcony.

We sat in silence as the play resumed. Duke Richards scowling and lady Clara glancing towards me. I nearly jumped from my skin as her fingers grazed my own. Her pinky interlocking with mine. I got lost in the sensation.

Sadly the night ended and I was forced to go with the Viscount as she went with the Duke. I pressed myself close to the far corner of the Viscounts carriage and fairly leaped out as it approached my home.

~~~~

The Dowager Countess came to London. Accusations of Lady Clara's impropriety and a whole new set of rules. I know its countess henriettas doing. That woman will stop at nothing to secure Edgewater as her own. She claims its for her son but we all know the truth.

Lady Clara let me paint her today. At last a reasonable excuse to stare at her lovely features. Committing every curve of her face to memory. She made it all the more difficult with her sultry gaze and flirty comments.

I suggested miniatures for all her suitors. She said she wished me to have one and I know my face beamed a cherry red.

~~~~

The races were a bore. Viscount Westonly breathing on me made me ill. Though watching the men fawn over Lady Clara made it all worse.

I grow weary of this game of prestige and position. Back biting and scheming. If only we could run away. Escape to a different life, perhaps in the tiny village she grew up in. I think we could be happy there. If I could just find it in me to speak my true feelings.

~~~~

How distressing it was to hear of The Earls passing. Yet another death in such a short time. I can only imagine how poor Lady Clara must feel having only just lost her mother. The funeral is tomorrow perhaps then I may have a chance to comfort her.

~~~

How shameful the way people act. Though I should not have expected anything less. First the countess chased Lady Clara from her seat in the sanctuary, then Miss Sutton and Miss Bowman find the need to gossip about her choice of dresses.

We went into the Earl's study some time during the gathering and painted a portrait to honor him. My heart nearly beat from my chest as we stood together. She bent kissing my wrist and I lost all ability to speak.

I think she meant to kiss me elsewhere had Miss Bowman not come bursting throw the door. The moment was lost and we solemnly made our way back to the rest of the gathering.

~~~~

This new found jealousy threatens to consume me. I watch her as she smiles and laughs. Prince Hamid grins at her and she takes his arm as they twirl around the dance floor.

I had hoped once she convinced me to tell the Viscount no to his proposal that we could be together. I know its impossible. The time is short I fear. I have no doubt she will find a suitable match.

~~~~

I do not know where to start with the nights events. The ball at Duke Richards was to be the final of the season. I knew she'd be there but I was not prepared for how stunning she looked.

She danced and chatted with almost every eligible bachelor in the place. I had scarcely believed she would have time for me. Yet there she sat shyly smiling at me as I played on the pianoforte.

We stole away later that night. She claimed there was something real important we must discuss. I knew it had to do with her father's will so I steeled myself for the worst.

I have had the best proposal! She squealed excitedly. My heart sank but I was determined to be happy for her. So I smiled and told her as much.

She studied my face a while then proudly announced it was to be Mr Chambers. Before I had a chance to think better of it I was on one knee before her. She stared at me mouth slightly opened.

We had our first kiss after that. It was all a blur. Her body pressed firmly against me, hands exploring. Her lips were so unbelievably soft. Better than I had even dared to dream.

Yet how could I go from the highest emotion to the lowest? We marched into the ballroom ready to make the announcement when Dowager Countess was dragging Lady Clara to the center of the room.

I felt sick in the pit of my stomach as the announcement was made Lady Clara was to merry to Duke. That vile awful man, how could Dowager Countess ever think he could make a good match for my precious Lady Clara?

I wanted so badly to lash out. Instead I quietly disappeared into the background. She claims we'll be ok, but I am not so sure. Looking at her poor sad eyes I felt compelled to at least agree. Sure. Maybe in another life. In another time. Until then my heart will break as I put on my best ladylike facade. If for nothing else but for her.

[yamadcs]

wey hey, it’s a me...a madio here at long last!!! but rlly i’m mads, i’m twenty, and i’m in pst so im almost always fashionably late to things set with est time in mind. my last meal would be chicken alfredo but that feels really wrong bc i’d really love to own a chicken someday....anYWAYS moving on to the serious stuff! this intro is probably a shit show but so am i so it fits...i tried to keep it concise but who rlly knows idk pls plot with me

( NANA KOMATSU, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER, MUSE M ) did i just see CONSTANCE YAMADA touching down in italy ? rumor has it this 22 year old DIRECTOR is on their way to reunite with the brat pack.

so first thing’s first, as promised, constance has two moms!!! one of them is an actress and the other is an activist (specifically feminist and lgbtq+ rights if that matters) and they’re both extremely well-known within hollywood. 

her activist mom is definitely outspoken on social issues and she taught constance to be too, so the family is definitely known for pushing buttons in hollywood if only because they voice their very strong opinions VERY loudly. she probably had a lot to do with herself and her wife being ostracized in hollywood, or otherwise branded as brats. her actress mom, however, is much more soft spoken and was once probably an america’s sweetheart type. she’s a classic beauty, an actress that had so much potential until her reputation began to dwindle. she still acts, though in much smaller projects, and appears to be happy simply maintaining a home life (spoiler alert, she’s cheating). she taught constance humility and self-love

her mothers are so loving to her and to each other that she’s definitely a big romantic, however she’s also extremely naive so i’m sure that will pose a lot of issues in terms of plots and whatnot. she literally grew up witnessing true love at all times and is so in awe of her mothers’ relationship that she strives to have something just like it 

sPEAKING OF NAIVETE! constance’s mothers actually shielded her from the spotlight until she was about 15!! her parents were really nervous about putting her in the limelight because they didnt want her to have a fate similar to theirs (the blacklisting and public humiliation of being branded) so they kept her life as private and “normal” as possible. rather than having a private tutor, she simply attended private schools so that she could have a semi-normal social life. her parents were very cautious about who she spent time with, which led her to be a bit sheltered. she had lots of friends, but she was never allowed to go to their houses and they needed extensive screening before being allowed at hers, so it was easier to just keep her friendships at school. it wasn’t until she got to high school and made the choice to insert herself into the media that the world truly met constance, and she’s been basking in the hollywood glow ever since

being lonely is actually part of what ignited her passion for film. she had so much free time at home during her early years that she stumbled upon a tub of old movies, as well as the video recorder that was used to capture them. from then on, she was in love and it seemed that no one could pry that camera from her grasp. years 5-10 of her life feature many clips of her moms’ double chins and feet, the angles of a girl too small to see the rest of the world. 

i like to think that the first real paparazzi pictures ever captured of her and published across the nation featured her at a rally with her moms, holding a sign and very proudly leading a chant for the right for her mothers to legally marry. she’d been photographed before, of course, but none of them never made as bold of a statement and those pictures are what truly began her entrance into the spotlight, which was extremely intense and trying. 

since the world was so desperate to know the daughter of two notorious starlets, it only made sense that they would do nearly anything to obtain that first private interview with her, those first talk show appearances, anything that she had never been able to do before. it was super overwhelming and she very quickly became aware of what vultures the press are

uhhh so yeah basically constance has only really been in the “spotlight” for the last 7 years, but she became very notorious and admired very quickly since her existence had been so “””normal”””” and basically mysterious to the public until then. like her moms posted pictures on their socials, but all of her own were private until then and the media only got to know her on a surface level so it was a drastic change both for herself, but also for the world

i’d like to think her friends, THE BRATS, are what really got her through it like once she started working in hollywood and getting more film projects and running into these ppl and building connections i think constance really would have relied on them as mentors (even if theyre rlly just manipulation her...plot idea ?) and just....ppl who understood what this type of fame was like and understood how crazy this transition was. like she went from eating cereal in the living room w her moms and living her lowkey life to being on magazines and becoming the new “GIRL NEXT DOOR” of hollywood and that’s....a lot

she is a pretty notorious director now like a lot of jobs were kind of just,, handed to her once she started but she proved she had real talent so her entire reputation is something she really built herself bc her moms tried to detach themselves from her career to give her a fair chance to prove herself and her own prestige but like,,, she literally loves filming people and directing them and it’s her whole ass life like she almost always has a film camera and/or an old video camera on her person at all times so watch out for that in the morning ladies and gents she will make u a star 

oh and if her career goes south she’s hella gonna go into the adult film industry she’s directing sexy time baby !

i feel like there is still so so much i could tell u all about her but i rlly hope that this sums it up nicely bc it’s getting so long and so ugly....bUT BEFORE I LEAVE I HAVE CONNECTION IDEAS AND ALSO i just wanna say i think she would be on??? pretty okay terms w the bratpack like i know she has select ones she doesnt get along w but theres probably a big part of her thats excited to be back with them and happy to be in milan meeting up with them all again so idk if that changes things but yeah my girl’s naive and loves almost everyone so pls,,plot with mE

CONNECTION IDEAS....just gonna drop some lame ones here rlly quick to maybe get us started

uhh like i said many times, constance is rlly naive, so she’d be super easy to take advantage of. this could be something that happened when she first introduced herself to the limelight, like maybe someone latched on to her bc of how excited the media was to finally know her and they sort of road her coattails, or maybe it’s smth that’s happening as adults. im down for literally any kind of manipulative plots like fake friends, using her for shit, idk just mess her up ig

i think unrequited crushes are cute and i’m sure constance has TONS just bc she’s such a romantic at heart and so eager to have a fairy tale love that i feel like there would be this one person who she’s had a crush on for years who she just...keeps going back to bc she thinks she loves them and maybe they use her to keep her around or maybe theyve been honest about their feelings and theyre trying to just be friends but things are rocky/she’s just repressing shit idk we could do a lot with this i think 

i’d love it if she could just have a best friend bc like...idk i dont want her to have NO real friends u know? good vibes only for constance and ur muse man u feel

she was pretty innocent growing up since she was so sheltered so maybe ur muse smoked her out for the first time when she was 16 and now shes 420 friendly and theyre just smoke buddies or smth i cant believe shes gonna be a stoner now her whole personality i talked about up there? gone. it’s weed central now baby !

does ur muse need a tastefully directed sex tape? constance has their back im not kidding this is my plot idea ur all welcome

this is a novel so im ending it here but i will once again beg that u all come plot with me and love me and disregard these shitty connection ideas bc i KNOW we can come up with truly good ones okay love u all bye 

[decadentrpg-blog]

WELCOME AJ, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF EVANDER LUPIN

Admins Note: Evander Lupin finally arriving to the scene! I love every aspect that you included about Evander, I really felt the turmoil he carries from within. From the head cannons to the sample paragraph, I got a great clear view of what he cherishes, his character and his morals. The aesthetic addition in your application was also yet another very nice touch! I’m so excited to see him on the dash among the rest of the crew! Congratulations on your acceptance again, please make sure to head your way to the checklist and submit your account within the next 24 hours!

Out of Character

Name / Alias: AJ

Pronouns: She/Her and They/Them

Age: 23

Timezone: Mountain

In Character Application

Full Name: Evander Kęstutis Lupin

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Gender/Pronouns: Cis-male, He/Him

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor.

Head canons:

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Suicidal Thoughts (?), Excessive Drinking, Past Alcoholism

Family

His family had risen in the face of adversity, gaining riches and prestige when before the name Lupin was buried in a sea obscurity. A mixture between luck and determination had changed fate for the name Lupin. His father had been a successful wizarding lawyer with a knack for investments who rose to the top of a prestigious law firm and his mother had been a muggleborn Healer. Years later after meeting, Evander was born in the middle of tempestuous storm late in the afternoon October 26, twenty-eight years ago, to the joy of his parents. He grew up in loving household, looking up to his father and the kindness of his mother. And then came Camille, a sister who Evander doted on, protected, and argued with. It was perfect for Evander. He was perfectly content to debate with his father while playing wizarding chess (though Evander often lost), play the piano with his mother, and dance with his sister.  He grew up where his family was his world.

Her

Evander never expect it to end like this. He had approached her, a smile on his lips and a plan in his mind, willing to hurt anyone in anyway he could to get the names he craved. He saw her as a tool, a way to pry the Pride Society apart, brick by brick until their pure blood ran through his hands and stained his teeth. But Dahlia, she was so unexpected. Sweet and willing to look past the monster he had been creating himself into with rebellious stars in her eyes. He ran them through conversations, trying to trip her up, to admit the bias she had towards him and all like him. He torn down the gilded lies she was raised on in the cruelest ways possible to deliver the truth and all she had done was thanked him, kissed him, lips sweet with cigarette smoke. She wrapped his heart in chain, past the walls of fire and the iron walls that had blocked all but a few out. Evander loves her. Its frightening to touch her soft skin and run his hands through her hair, knowing just how much he would do for her. The buried kindness peaks out behind the burning flames of anger, his blood-stained hands gentle as they hold her, eyes softening in her visage.

Facing Fear

Once upon a time, when Evander could smile without the bitterness of loss, he ran across a Boggart in Hogwarts.  It wasn’t suspiring to him to see the death of his family. But back then in the arrogance of youth, while the imagines haunted him, Evander had been able to easier overcome the boggarts attempt. After all, that would never happen to his family. But it did and now Evander asks, what is the boggart of a man who has had his worst fear realized, the nightmare turned into a reality? He doesn’t want to find out. Because Evander can guess.  He doesn’t fear being the monster he is, the vicious being in the dark willing to set the whole world on fire, drenching them all in blood. No Evander can imagine the brutalized bodies of those he still has with him (Darius, Dahlia, Zephyra), in the way his family were killed. He fears being alone again, knowing that without them he would sure get himself killing taking as many of them out as he could.

A Dose of Something That Doesn’t Numb the Pain

Evander barely drinks now, just enough to put on airs of acceptance. Alcohol has never brought anything good in his life. The night his family were killed, he had been at some wretched party in a brown liquored haze. He had arrived much too late to help his family and much too drunk to help himself. He had spent months and months on end at the bottom of a bottle, hoping the tears would stop and the pain would numb. Once the numbness came, he drank and drank hoping for the burn, to feel anything. Darius helped him, as his best mate always has (why he would do anything for him), leading him from the drink. He still craves it sometimes, but his willpower is stronger than any Prohibition. Tea and coffee became replacements for the drink with the added benefit of keeping him awake after long nights that leave bags under his eyes.

Aren’t You the Big Bad Wolf?

The first time Evander had produced a patronus it had taken the visage of a St. Bernard.  Loving and loyal and especially protective towards family members. Evander had been ecstatic with the large, friendly dog for years. Then came that night, the once that changed everything. His family gone, killed, and Evander alone and suffering through the loss. The cold and numb of grief overcame his every attempt at a patronus for over a year. And then the numb was washed away with anger and a desire for vengeance. For every one of those bigots to pay for his mother’s screams and his sister’s blood splattered across her face. Another year passed and the anger burned and burned until it banked, always there but simmering, just waiting for more fuel ready to be added at a moment’s notice. And dashes of happiness returned with Darius, his brother in all but blood. Springing from his wand, there is now and evermore a grey wolf, a lone wolf searching, snarling and ready to tear the world apart in his burning need for retribution and to protect all that remains.

Weapon Clutched in his Hand

11 ¾ inches, Blackthorn, Dragon Heartstring, Unbending

In Character Paragraph:

A Shifting Wind

Eyes shooting open, Evander shot up out of bed with a snarl spread across his lips as the familiar nightmare branded itself onto the inside of the eyelids. He shivered slightly as the cool air hit his heated, bare chest. Hands ran through his sweat soaked hair once before coming to rest on his face. He didn’t need to look at the clock to know that it was absurdly early, like always. It was always too early (Why was he always too early or too late?). Taking a deep breath, he kicked down the pale sheets and swung his legs over the bed, making sure to grab his wand from its place on his bedside table. From experience, Evander knew there was no reason to try and sleep again. The branded images wouldn’t go away, not unless he sated a need. He needed to do something and not be trapped within four walls, waiting for the despair to destroy him.

But there was nothing he could do, not right now in the middle of the city. He sighed as he made his way out to his living room, where his mother’s piano still laid. A finger brushed across the ivory surface as melancholy crashed upon him. Slumping onto the seat in front of the piano, he stared at the keys. When was the last time he had played? A few days before that night, the night when his whole world was cruelly ripped away. His hands clenched as he brought a fist onto the keys. A defining calamity of notes reverberated through the room. Eyes closed tightly, he placed his hands on the white keys already comparing the images in his mind. Hands changed by time and his desire to destroy every Pride Society piker with callouses and split knuckles. He paused right before pressing down, thinking of how everything was colored by that night.  

He couldn’t play it. Not yet, not now. He would one day if he didn’t die on his road for revenge. Standing and summoning some clothes, he dressed. He had promised himself no more wallowing. It’s why he was here in the good ol’ United States anyway. Evander was going to get even and then some. A smirk spread across his face, his jaw taunt as he made his way out into the New York City night.

Fight Till They All Know What’s Within

TW: Blood, Violence, Fighting

Evander wiped at the hot dripping under his nose, not caring for more blood to tinge his hand as he stared at the bloodied man on the ground, getting a glance of his watch as he fell back into form. He was late, very late. A Faux pas, Dahlia would say, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about being late. Not when he had to take care of this sap. Lips peeled back and eyes narrowed, he stomped down on the man’s chest. The gasped “Jeepers Creepers” from the man brought a twisted smirk to his face. “Dry up and you leave that Jane alone. You hear?” Evander snarled at the man while pulling the man up by his lapels, slightly shaking him. The bruised man rapidly nodded and Evander glared at the man, trying to see if he was telling the truth. Disgust flashed across his face at the frightened expression that he saw there. “Get!” He ordered and let go, satisfied with the way the man crawled backwards and ran off. Once he was gone, Evander looked around for the doll he had saved from that man’s harsh, pulling grasp. He didn’t see her and just hoped that she got to safety.

Straightening his suit jacket with a shake, he turned and continued on his way to the Cotton Club. He ignored the stares he was getting on his way, not concerned with the muggles staring at his rumpled suit and the blood striped across his hands. In what felt like no time at all, Evander saw the sign of the Cotton Club and Darius’ blond hair under the shining lights. He smiled at the sight of his best mate, glad that the other man just glanced at his blood-soaked cuffs and the red remains under his nose. Darius understood, better than anyone just what they meant and why Evander fights muggles. The need for relief against everyone who deserved Evander’s fist to their face, everyone until they got to the ones who had taken their families. “Is it gone?” He asked Darius after wiping the dried blood. Once he wouldn’t have cared if the left-over blood stained his face, but he knew either rumors would reach Dahlia’s ears or perhaps she would be here tonight. He didn’t want to worry her. Clapping Darius on the shoulder, he started on side. “Come on! Let’s get edged.”

Extras:

Pinterest

https://www.pinterest.com/ajninkon/evander-lupin/

Song Inspo

Blood on My Name- The Brother Bright

Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea- MISSIO

DEVIL- Shinedown

Sunflower- Post Malone & Swae Lee

Run -AWOLNATION

Hunt You Down- Hit House ft Ruby Friedman

Aesthetics

Going to sleep with the rising sun and waking moments later, nightmares never far behind. Impossible to be content with staying still. A duality of high-class suits and battered leather jackets. Lips tasting champagne and only desiring the burn of something strong to bank the flames. Smoke on his lips and hers. Afraid of loving again, afraid of what they could wrought. Secrets he never meant to get in the way of an unbreakable bond. Kindness buried beneath vengeance rising. Fighting with fists, fighting with wands. Split lips and bloodied knuckles, a smile drowned in blood. A shield and weapon all in one body. Prepared to bleed and die for a cause. Shaking it off every pureblood rhetoric in the face of what is right.

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*