#she has a negative strength score

[belovedblabber]

I keep staying up way too late and now I’m thinking about Seril my little curse of strahd gunslinger and how I need to talk about her more on here because I want to talk about her so bad

[monterraverde]

@greenxprof replied to your post ““Don’t compliment me when I’m pissed the fuck off...”:

"Why? Does it get you all bashful?" 🤭

​The second he gets close enough she hauls off and tries to deck him.

Zero hesitation.

"No but it does make wanting to hit you feel worse" She hisses, shoving that fist back into her pocket.

[howtofightwrite]

I know DnD is not about realism but how accurate is having, say, your heavy armor wearing paladin have 10 dex or even negative dex? Where medieval knights built like The Rock or like The mountain? I’ve seen youtubers saying that you needed a lot of strength to be able to fight like a knight so women and smaller people couldn’t do it.

I think I know which YouTuber you're talking about, and you can pretty safely ignore them. Their personal misogyny takes priority over their (alleged) expertise when they're forming their arguments.

There's two logistical problems with the idea that you need someone like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson to make up the bulk of your elite forces. The first problem is that they need to consume a frightening amount of food. This isn't as much of a problem in the modern era, when we have the capacity for truly staggering amounts of agricultural production. But, in a medieval society, with serfs responsible for most of the agriculture, the prospect of feeding each of your elite troops 10,000 calories a day would economically destroy most kingdoms. (And, yes, that is what Björnsson reports to consume on a daily basis. Other estimates place his dietary intake somewhere between 3600 and 8000.) And, to be clear, that is an absolutely absurd amount of food. But, if you want to build that kind of mass, you need a lot of energy, which means, a lot of food.

The second logistical problem is, there's only one of him. Okay, that's not literally true, The Mountain was portrayed by three separate actors, Conan Stevens, a professional wrestler, and Ian Whyte, a stunt actor who had previous appeared as a White Walker in the first season. But, Hafthor Bjornsson took over the role in the fourth season, and is probably who you're thinking of when you name drop the character.

Bjornsson is a member of the 2000 pound club, which include power lifters who can lift over 2000lbs combined between bench press, dead lift, and squats. Not many people ever get that far, and Bjornsson is one of the few individuals who can get into the 1000 pound club from a single lift.

Here's a fun name to know, Becca Swanson is also in the 2000 pound club. She credibly claims that she is the first woman to have achieved that, and I'm not sure if there are any other women in the 2000lb club, but it is achievable.

Now, here's the fun thing about all of this, because you're asking about D&D, and D&D players need to know exactly how much their character can lift. The calculation is (STR*30)lbs. (In the Player's handbook p174.) This also means if you have a real person, and you know how much they can lift in the real world, you can reverse engineer what their strength score would be in D&D.

It's 37.

If you wanted to convert Hafthor Bjornsson into D&D, his strength score would be 37.

Dude can fucking arm wrestle the Terrasque and easily win.

Putting that in perspective, it's a little ludicrous to say that if you want a viable martial character (fighters, paladins, barbarians, etc.), they need a Strength score of 37, when it's not normally possible for player characters to exceed 20 base strength. (If you're wondering, Becca would work out to have ~29 Strength. So, on par with most ancient dragons, and a few gods.)

So, there you have a man and woman who are both superhumanly strong according to D&D.

D&D and math have always had issues like this, and it pops up in a few different places here.

The basic concept that your ability to hit, and the amount of damage you deal is based on strength comes from a very, “schoolyard,” understanding of violence. It's okay to step back and abstract it out, where “strength,” is some amalgam of melee combat aptitude in addition to actual strength, but the idea that being stronger means you can hit harder with a sword or dagger doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't even make much sense with axes and maces (the force applied has more to do with the mass and velocity of the weapon, rather than the strength of its wielder.)

A paladin with negative DEX is dead. I don't mean that figuratively, and I do understand what you meant to say, but this rule is a little obscure in 5e. If any of a character's physical attributes (STR, DEX, CON) are reduced to zero, the character immediately dies. Ability draining effects used to be far more common, so the rule existed by itself, though, now it mostly shows up when you're looking at a monster with a physical ability draining attack.

What you probably meant was a negative DEX modifier, meaning your paladin is unusually clumsy. Outside the context of D&D, that would be an incredibly bad thing for a front line combatant. In the specific context of D&D, if they're in heavy armor, it doesn't really matter, if they're in medium, then it reverts to being “a bad thing. Specifically, the rules is that light and medium armor add your DEX modifier to your armor class. Medium armor caps this at +2, but it can go negative with either armor type. However, heavy armor in 5e ignores your DEX modifier entirely.

Now, here's the thing about D&D, its concept of armor is spectacularly weird. Unlike RPGs where armor reduces damage taken, either by subtracting a fixed amount from incoming damage or by reducing damage via a percentage, D&D's system is that your armor class grants you a chance to avoid being hit at all. (5% chance per point of AC, if you're wondering.) Narratively, this is often framed as taking a hit, but your armor turned the blade or something similar. This is because sometimes the enemy attack straight up misses, and that's (usually) determined by your dexterity. This is important, because the game is trying to balance two different power fantasies against each other.

On one side you have the players who want to roll in heavy plate armor, and soak all the hits, and on the other you have players who want to go with light armor, and dodge around enemy attacks. Realistically, that's not an option, but D&D permits it, and again, that's fine. The fantasy of lightly armored fighters makes a lot of sense. I'd even go so far as to say that the barbarian's unarmed defense bonus (where they add CON modifier to their DEX modifier while unarmored) is a really good change in 5e even if it does make no sense objectively. It contributes to the fantasy of this brutal fighter who runs around without armor slapping people silly with their weapons, and shrugging off damage because they're too stubborn to die. In (nearly all cases) the ability to deliver the player fantasy of a class is more important than a strict adherence to reality, and that's fine, that's the point, but the realism of D&D doesn't translate off the page in any meaningful way.

If you wanted a more, “realistic,” (and, yeah, that's incredibly loaded in this context), approach to armor for D&D, I'd say gate access based on your Constitution (or Constitution modifier). Sort of like how your equip load in Dark Souls is based on your Endurance attribute. Give armor and weapons a burden value, and if the combined burden on a character exceeds their CON, the character risks taking levels of Fatigue when they're fighting in heavier gear than they're conditioned to deal with. Maybe add a Conditioning feat or skill if you want to add some other attribute modifiers to the mix should you end up with your heavy armor fighters being underequipped. (Then again, I am one of those psychopaths who really liked the D20 Star Wars' vitality system.) So, ultimately, tinker with the balance until you find something you, and the people at your table, are happy with. Roleplayers who have more meaningful build choices tend to be happier, so long as they don't feel like they're being punished for having a character fantasy.

One of the more amusing descriptions I've read of medieval knights is that they were built like methheads. I can't fully vouch for that, because I'm not an expert on the physical appearance of medieval knights, but it's certainly credible. These guys were eating pretty well for the era, and engaged in a lot of physical activity. Depending on what they were doing, that could easily result in some fairly bulky guys, but it could also result in some wiry looking guys who hide their muscles. Just, knowing what I do about the human body, the answer was probably both, depending on their metabolism and diet. But the image of Sir Methhead, Knight of the Realm, and his implausibly clean teeth, still amuses me.

It's worth remembering that a lot of the times I've seen someone say, “they were built like athletes,” they'll drop an image of a bodybuilder. No. That's not what you would get. Bodybuilding is designed to create its own physique, one that doesn't occur unless you're abusing your body in some very specific (and unhealthy) ways. It's probably better to think of someone like a high-school football player. Bulky, but without the carved physiques of a Boris Vallejo painting. (If you don't know who that is, look up his art. It is a bit dated, but it's gorgeous.)

Alternately, if you do want your characters to look like those paintings, it is your fantasy, have fun.

-Starke

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[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 2, bracket two

Propaganda:

For Wyll:

He's a warlock so primarily a magic user but he is introduced by stabbing someone with his rapier and even if you stat him to do other things he still gets a Very Good Rapier as part of his personal quest, that's how intrinsically tied to the blade he is. His pseudonym is the Blade of Frontiers and it is mentioned constantly, by others and by himself in the third person. His strength score is negative and his dexterity is just okay so if you really want him to be useful you have to jump through a couple of hoops to make his WILDLY high charisma affect his swordplay. As it should because as all good swordsmen understand, fighting with a rapier is 90% style and panache. He's even bisexual

Known as The Blade of the Frontiers, he's dedicated his life to fighting evil with his rapier and sketchy demon contract. He's a very good boy. 

His epithet is The Blade of Frontiers so I think that says enough but if it isn't he's introduced waving a rapier around and warning his enemies about the Blade's sting so that's epic.

For Sasha:

Incredible character, canonically bisexual, has not one but TWO matching swords with heron designs on them, AND is pivotal in the themes of Amphibia. 10/10 one of the characters of all time.

Sasha is only confirmed to be bisexual via an easter egg in the finale of the show, but she also LITERALLY dual wields swords in the season 2 finale 

Sasha is a thirteen year old girl dropped in lot a fantasy setting and kept in a dungeon for months before talking her way into a leadership position of the very same army that imprisoned her. Swords are her main weapon for the entire series (by the end of the show she dual-wields). She also has an extremely interesting arc in my opinion (protagonist’s toxic best friend to enemies to double agent to leader of the resistance movement to besties again but she’s grown as a person this time). 

[mha-grievances]

MHA and Hori’s Stat Rankings

Ok, so if there’s any post of mine that someone can call nitpicky, it’ll be this one cause what I’m about to talk about doesn’t really affect the story of MHA in any meaningful way. Rather, it’s just going over some supplemental information that really makes no sense.

So hardcore MHA fans and/or frequent visitors of the MHA wiki know of the Ultra Archive Book and the Ultra Analysis Book. In these books, various characters are given rankings based on several stats: power, speed, technique, and intelligence/wits being the stats shared between the two books. Cooperation, the final stat in the Archive Book, was replaced in the Analysis Book by each character having a humorous stat that tells the reader a bit about them. Denki’s signature stat is Friend (6/6 S), Izuku’s is Presence (1/6 E), etc. In addition, the Analysis Book is slightly more in depth when ranking stats. Each letter has their own tiers, either being positive, neutral, or negative. For example, Izuku has a power score of 5/6 A+ while Ejiro has a power score of 5/6 A- and Mezou has flat score of 5/6 A.

The way the stats are written are easy to understand. However, when you compare the stats of some characters to one another and what we’re actually shown them being capable of doing, a lot of it doesn’t add up. Here’s I’ll be breaking down some examples of what I mean.

Power:

Perhaps the biggest examples of this area being bullshit are Shota, Hitoshi, Stain, and Tooru’s strength rankings. Throughout both books, all four characters have had a consistent power ranking, with only Stain’s really changing from a 3/6 C to a 4/5 B and Hitoshi changing from a 1/6 E to a 2/6 D. Meanwhile, Tooru has a power ranking of 2/6 D and Shota’s is 3/5 C. However, keep in mind that neither character has any sort of offensive abilities granted to them by their quirks. Stain’s is a paralysis quirk, Tooru’s makes her invisible, Hitoshi brainwashes people, and Shota’s shuts down quirks. You can make an argument for Tooru being able to refract/reflect light based quirks, but that’s something she learned later on, so keep that in mind. Meanwhile, Izuku in the Ultra Archive Book, has a power stat of 1/6 E. Now, it is basing his strength off the fact that he’s unable to properly use OFA without breaking himself, but there is absolutely no way he should be weaker than Shota, Stain, and Tooru in the power department. Izuku is at peak human strength. You can definitely say that both Shota and Stain are as well, but Tooru isn’t, struggling to do a pull-up. Despite that, she’s a tier higher than him. Speaking of Stain and Shota, you can argue that their weapons are also accounted for when Hori gave them their ratings, but that makes no sense in Shota’s case cause his capture scarf can be cut by a knife. As for Stain, his blades haven’t been shown to have any special properties, so how the hell do his blades alone allow him to beat Mina’s 3/6 C+ power. Mina’s acid melts through stone and steel with ease. Stain’s swords have nothing on that. Speaking of Mina, her power stat’s somehow lower than Mashirao’s. Sure Mashirao’s tail is pretty strong, but his best feat in the strength department is cracking concrete while Mina’s disintegrated steel with no effort. Himiko Toga also gets screwed over in terms of a power stat, being a 1/6 E in both books. Despite not having an offensive quirk at the time of her ranking, she has shown off superior strength than Tooru and Hitoshi by pining Izuku. Sure, a successful pin does involve technique, but a twig isn’t going to be able to pin a peak level human without some sort of strength. Another character who’s rated lower than they should be is Tsuyu in the Ultra Archive Book, also being a 1/6 E despite her quirk granting her enhanced strength. This was rectified in the Ultra Analysis Book with her getting bumped up to a 3/6 C, but there’s still no way Shota, a man with no superhuman abilities, should have an equal power ranking to Tsuyu, who could probably shatter a skull with a kick. Finally, there’s Dabi, who’s always thrown in the 4/6 B category. While he might not be able to use his quirk for extended periods of time, the fact that his flames are confirmed to be hotter than Endeavor’s means he deserves to be ranked higher. There’s no way you’re telling me Katsuki’s explosions are stronger than Dabi’s flames. I can also ramble about how Kyouka’s quirk is arguably one of the strongest quirks in the series but that’s for another time. To conclude, the power rankings are wonky. Peak human characters are either ranked lower than characters they should realistically beat in terms of power or are ranked higher than they should be, and characters who should be ranked higher like Mina and Dabi aren’t.

Speed:

Arguably the most consistent stat in this series is speed. There’s really only one example I wanna talk about and that’s Mezou. Mezou has a low speed ranking of 2/6 D in both books despite having some of the best performances when it comes to raw speed. He was able to save several of his classmates at the USJ before Kurogiri could warp them all away, he easily intercepted and backhanded Himiko (someone who both Shota and Izuku struggled to keep up with even when the latter was using 5% of OFA), he ran away from a full powered Dark Shadow, and he successfully countered a full barrage of Pony’s horn missiles with only his fists. Despite this, his speed stat is lower than everyone else I’ve mentioned when it should be higher.

Technique:

Easily the most flawed stat here. For starters, Hitoshi in the Ultra Archive Book has an equal technique stat to Izuku, the guy who is able to counter people by reading their body moments, and Shoto, who has been trained by the number two hero. Mind you, all we’ve seen Hitoshi do is mind control people and flail pathetically against Izuku during the Sports Festival. Katsuki, who has a 5/6 A and 5/6 A+ stat in technique, has not received any form of training and has only fought people weaker than him prior to U.A, so he also shouldn’t have a higher skill stat than the son of the number 2 pro hero. Dabi, the guy who managed to mimic the special move Shoto had to take time to learn and has the ability to mimic all of Endeavor’s moves, only has a technique stat of 2/6 D. Mezou and Jurota, the characters Hori said were the strongest characters of the first years when it came to fighting without quirks, both possess lower technique stats than Katsuki. Yui Kodai, the girl with 5/6 A+ technique, somehow got easily defeated by Ochako, who is a tier lower than her in technique. Yes, she got a surprise attack on Reiko, but Yui should’ve been able to jump her after Reiko went down. Mashirao and Itsuka are both martial artists but they both only have technique stats in the B ranks, which is lower than most of their classmates. Pretty much Hori’s rankings when it comes to technique is either constantly ignored and/or makes absolutely no sense.

Intelligence/wits:

For this section, I wanna mainly focus on Minoru. Minoru’s intelligence stat is currently ranked at 5/6 A+. Now, I’m not saying Minoru’s not smart, because we’ve seen that he is smart, but his intelligence stat’s a bit too high. For starters, Kyouka scored higher than him on the midterms despite only having a maximum intelligence score of 4/5 B. In addition, he’s ranked above Tenya, who had the second highest score on the midterms. He’s also tied with Mei, someone who Power Loader described as a “one of a kind genius”. Now, some of you might be saying that Minoru might be better at working on his feet, hence his higher intelligence stat, but Izuku’s able to accurately read an entire battlefield and scored fourth on the midterms, blowing Minoru out of the water in these instances. Moving away from Minoru, Power Loader, the head of the Support department, only has his intellect at a 2/6 D according to the Ultra Analysis book. That’s lower than the majority of 1-A and 1-B’s intelligence stats. How is the head of the support department going to have such a poor intelligence rating? Dabi, who once again is a prodigy, was the only one who had suspicions about Hawks’ loyalty, and is capable of instantly mimicking moves that Shoto and Endeavor had to take time to develop, only has an intellect of 3/6 C, which is crazy to me. Hori really has no idea what he’s doing with regards to these stats.

TL;DR: Hori’s stat assignments are bullshit and need to be drastically reworked.

[thesolemnhour]

1, 2, 5, and 6 for the WOTR mechanics ask?

Hey, Ash!!! Thank you SO much for the ask, these are the best!!

1. What led the future Knight-Commander to take their base class?

I am so glad you asked! Agria's base class is arcanist, which sits the fence between sorcerer and wizard. An arcanist is born with innate spellcasting ability but pairs that with the study of arcane knowledge.

I don't think Agria ever really chose to become an arcanist: she always had magical ability, and her combination of curiosity and total lack of moderation leads to her throwing herself into the study of that ability body, mind, and soul. Those are the Agria bare essentials!

2. What led to the Knight-Commander picking their archetype, or staying the standard class?

I like to imagine Agria has been an arcanist all her life, but she's only been a Brown-Fur Transmuter for something like three years at the start of the game. After she leaves her dad and New Stetven, I think she basically can't bring herself to do any magic at all for like a year except the bare minimum it takes to teach her baby cousin Gwyn. The pain is too fresh--all it makes her think of is how much of a failure she is and how many people she let down.

Once the sting starts to fade a little bit, she really can't help herself from sticking her toe back in. Magic isn't just something she does, it's how she shows people who she is. Her solution is to throw out everything that came before and start new. She becomes a brown-fur as a way of taking the Sarkorian druidic tradition she discovers with Gwyn and making it her own. This is definitely a heretical thing for her to do by Old Sarkoris standards, but what are you gonna do? Throw her in the Threshold? Good luck!

5. Which class features would particularly stand out with them - Rage, Channel Positive/Negative Energy, Animal Companions, etc.?

I am a big fan of the Powerful Change ability for BFTs, which lets you add +2 to any spell that increases ability scores. You can get some really nasty stacks early on with this bad boy. My favorite was Enlarge Person (+4 strength) and Bull's Strength (+6 strength) on Seelah for the tavern defense in Act 1. She was destroying people.

I just really enjoy the flavor of it for Agria. Through sheer force of will, she manages to squeeze out just that much more from her pet spells. Eye of the Tiger shit.

6. What about their skills and feats - what story is told by their skill selection, or was it pure gameplay?

I really enjoyed taking the teamwork feats as Agria because I think it speaks to the most important thing that she brings to the party, crusade, and commander's court: an ability to get many different people to buy into a vision and start rowing in the same direction. Her technical competence is a lot less important than her eye for talent and skill for getting the best out of people; it's very Azata of her!

[ilikekidsshows]

I don't understand why people like to make Marinette become super strong even out of the suit, is there any base of this fanon? Not saying people couldn't, it just weird for me because Marinette isn't really athletic or working out so her being portrayed to be a strong girl seems to be out of the blue.

Like there's this story I've read once where Marinette is super strong, even matched cat noir who is a miraculous user despite of her not being one. Or the other one where she suddenly be able to fight against some thug despite none of the chapters before this shown her to be really strong or capable to do that. Also I've seen a post that said Marinette is actually stronger than Adrien because she manage to beat him in sparing in episode riposte. Is it true? Sorry of this question weird.

This is basically a “yes but no” kind of situation. Yes, the people insisting Marinette is strong have a legitimate point. Marinette can manage some feats, like all the characters in the show. For example, the Mime can lift the entire Eiffel Tower because the universe operates on cartoon physics, so goofing off with character endurance and strength is to be expected. In addition, Marinette should get to do some really cool stuff, at least as Ladybug, because Miraculous is a girl power show and she is the main character. Marinette is supposed to be inspirational to young girl viewers, so she’s cool, competent and strong. The point is to find the baseline of the series.

As it stands, Marinette’s abilities in her civilian persona do get exaggerated in comparison to other characters in the fandom. The thing is, the tumblr fandom has a thing about Marinette. Marinette gets bashed to hell and back on Youtube and some other parts of the web, so parts of the tumblr fandom are really defensive of Marinette. This means that anything “negative” said or done with her character by other fans gets backlash. And some of these fans include depicting Marinette as anything that’s not the strongest, bestest, smartest at everything ever as “negative”.

As I said, Marinette’s physical feats are not out of place in the world of Miraculous. Everyone in Miraculous can do insane stuff even without a Miraculous. The show runs on exaggerated reality. Also, you need more than one example to prove a point. Marinette scoring one point against Adrien in a fencing practice match where Adrien thinks he’s teaching the ropes to a complete newbie is not a pattern. It’s Marinette impressing him by showing off that she’s competent at his hobby. Now, every time we see Kagami and Adrien have a spar, Kagami has won, that’s a pattern. But even this doesn’t mean Kagami is stronger than Adrien, it means she’s a better fencer, skill and strength are two different things.

Then we get to “Marinette can match up against a Miraculous holder”: this claim is absolutely made up fantasy and nothing but wish-fulfillment on the part of Marinette stans. Every single Miraculous grants its holder super strength and super durability, I repeat: super strength and super durability. If a normal person can do the same or even better, it’s not super. End of story. Marinette is not stronger than any Miraculous holder because that defeats the purpose of using a Miraculous to get superpowers.

Now, as for Ladybug versus Cat Noir, there actually was a very in-depth analysis in this fandom on this topic some time ago. The consensus we came to was this: the show gives us a lot of clues that Cat Noir is physically stronger than Ladybug, but, in an actual fight, the end result is determined by them hitting their win condition, since Ladybug is a better fighter in terms of strategy and agility. Also, Cat Noir would absolutely go easy on Ladybug, no exceptions, while Marinette has an insanely high competitive streak and will go all-out at the slightest provocation as long as no harm will come to her partner out of it. Even Cat Blanc, a literally brainwashed Cat Noir, gives her so many openings he practically hands victory over to her. Ladybug will win a fight between her and Cat Noir every time unless something really extreme happens to make him take the fight seriously.

Another thing to take into account, however, is this: a tiny girl being secretly as strong as The Hulk is funny.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #327: Izumo no Okuni

merry nobumas, everyone! sadly, this event doesn’t have any new nobus, but at least it gives us cool builds like Izumo no Okuni! first we make the puppet with some Creation Bard levels, then we fuck demons up with the puppet with some Watcher Paladin levels.

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: our good personal friend Ranmaru

EDIT: huh, okay, Izumo does use her own sword. okay then, ignore most of the negatives then. sorry about that, this is one of the perils of trying to get stuff out the second the story drops

Ancestry & Background

Okuni is a Human, but she also has a puppet- to make that, we’ll start by giving her a Mark of Making, giving her +2 Intelligence and +1 Charisma. this gives her an Artisan’s Intuition for an additional d4 added to all arcana checks and anything involving artisan’s tools, which covers both halves of your expertise! we also grab a free proficiency with woodworking tools so you can get started on building your puppet.

while you’re working, you already start off as a Spellsmith, giving you the Mending cantrip for free redos and you can cast Magic Weapon once a day, but it’s both spell-slot- and concentration-free. speaking of spells, your Spells of the Mark add some options to your spell lists- the full list of spells you can use is in the character sheet, but if you see us take a spell that isn’t on the bard list, that’s why.

you’re a shrine maiden, that’s an Acolyte, so you have proficiency in Insight and Religion as well.

Ability Scores

Charisma is your highest score, as you could probably guess from being a bard. you dance, you hit people with puppets, both of those are charisma. somehow. after that, Dexterity. it’s kind of weird dexterity doesn’t affect dancing, now that I think about it, but you’re a caster so you don’t wear plate mail. that being said we do need to make Strength higher than I’d like, but you’ll have to carry your puppet around most of the time, so it’s kind of a workout, I guess. Constitution is above average because it would suck to die before you even get a chance to use the puppet at all, so you’ll have to live for five levels without it. that means your Wisdom is lower than I’d like and we have to dump Intelligence pretty harshly. it’s far from ideal, but we only need those for skills and saves. thankfully, being a bard and a paladin both help a lot towards making up for these shortfalls, eventually.

Class Levels

1. Bard 1: starting off as a bard gives you proficiency in Dexterity, and Charisma saves, as well as three skills off the bard skill list, a.k.a. the entire skill list. we’ll use Performance to puppet our boy around, with Nature and Arcana to build him in the first place. you’ve got five levels, best of luck.

while you’re whittling, we can also bring up your Bardic Inspiration- you’ve got a couple d6s you can throw at a friend as a bonus action, and then they can use ‘em to improve an attack roll, save, or skill check in the next minute. you get those back on long rests.

also on the same time frame are your spell slots, which you use to cast Spells. Okuni’s a caster, so you can be a bit more liberal with her spell list than you are with most characters- most of the spells on the character sheet are my personal recommendations, or just ones I thought would be useful. if they’re vital for the build, I’ll bring them up here as they’re added. there aren’t any of those this level, but I do recommend picking up something like Identify- Okuni’s bio states multiple times how hip and with it she is, so she knows what’s going on a lot of the time.

2. Bard 2: second level bards are Jacks of all Trades, adding half their proficiency to any skill check they make that doesn’t add it, including your initiative check! you also learn a Song of Rest, adding a d6 to the healing your party does over short rests. standard issue, we’ve all seen it by now.

also, your bardic inspiration becomes Magical Inspiration, so now someone holding onto it can add their d6 to the damage or healing of a spell!

3. Bard 3: but I know that’s not enough uses for your inspiration, right? thankfully creation bards have another addition to it, the Mote of Potential. now when your allies use their inspiration on one of the three original effects, they get a bonus to boot! on a check, they can roll their inspiration twice and pick the higher number. on an attack roll, the die also deals whatever it rolled as damage to nearby enemies, and on a save they gain their roll in temporary hp! this practically turns your inspiration into a spell in its own right!

making your puppet also got… slightly easier, as you can now put on a Performance of Creation, creating any medium or smaller non-magical item as an action, with the only other limitation being your imagination, and your wallet. you can only create items with this feature that are worth 20 times your bard level or less- even a normal-sized puppet is worth 100g, so this hasn’t saved us too much time. it also only lasts a few hours, so you’ll still have to find a more permanent solution anyways. still, while it’s not a cure-all for our lack of puppetry, it does have a million and one uses besides! this recharges on long rests, or you can use a second level spell slot to use it again- just know that you can only have one summoned item at a time.

speaking of second level spells, Borrowed Knowledge is a great pick for Okuni, giving her proficiency in a skill of your choice for an hour, concentration free. again, she’s always in the know of the latest fads, so now you can make sure that’s true!

you also get expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus in Arcana and Performance checks. she’s good at dancing, that much is obvious- otherwise she wouldn’t be in this game.

4. Bard 4: fourth level bards get their first Ability Score Improvement, so improve that Charisma score for stronger spells and more inspiration. dancing better is a nice bonus.

if you’re really jonesing for a puppet by now, you can use something like Phantasmal Force to at least plant the idea of a puppet in someone’s head and have it hurt them that way. honestly sounds terrifying to me, even scarier than a real puppet beating me up.

5. Bard 5: fifth level bards have d8s for their inspiration now, as well as become a Font of Inspiration, recharging all spent inspiration uses on short rests as well as long ones! you also get third level spells now like Dispel Magic. demons like using magic, so you’d best spoil their fun.

6. Bard 6: sixth level bards get the Countercharm ability, and for once it’s good for the build. a lot of demons charm or frighten people, so now you can spend your action to give all your allies nearby advantage on saves against those effects. it only works for a round each time, so you’d have to spend each turn keeping the effect up- still, if you’re fighting something like Shuten-Douji, it’s a good idea to have on hand.

if you’d like to use your countercharm while also keeping the fight going, then good news! your puppet drought is over, and your cuppet runneth over thanks to an Animating Performance. as an action you can animate a large or smaller object and turn it into a Dancing Object for the next hour. you then have to use your bonus action each turn to control the puppet, but you can also give out inspiration at the same time.

you can bring out the puppet once a day, or by spending a third-level or higher spell slot.

7. Bard 7: seventh level bards get fourth level spells like Fabricate, letting you spend ten minutes to turn any kind of raw materials into processed goods- for example, a log into part of a puppet, perhaps. you can create a large or smaller object if you have enough material, though using metal shrinks down the possible puppetude to medium size. also, you need proficiency with the sorts of tools you’d have to use to make an item normally in order to make it with this spell, hence our focus on grabbing woodworking proficiency earlier and smithing later.

so yeah, during your next downtime, puppetry is just a spell away!

8. Bard 8: eighth level bards get another ASI, and we’re grabbing the Skilled feat for more proficiencies. you get the proficiency with Smith’s Tools I mentioned a second ago, as well as proficiency with Acrobatics in case your DM thinks that dexterity and dancing thing is as weird as I do, and History. you are history, after all.

9. Bard 9: at ninth level your song of rest grows to a d8, but more importantly you get fifth level spells. if you’re in a pinch, you can use Animate Objects instead of your usual puppetry to give your friend some backup- you can animate up to ten small objects, with bigger sizes doubling how many “objects” they count as for each size larger they are. that being said, they also use your bonus action to control, so trying to use both at once isn’t always the greatest idea. still, they make a good distraction if you need time to drag your bigger puppet out of the fight.

10. Bard 10: tenth level bards have a bigger inspiration die again, and you get another round of Expertise, this time doubling down on Religion and Nature. also, you get Magical Secrets- two spells from any spell list in the game. Legend Lore is a must for any bard, giving you the lowdown on whatever famous person or thing you’re faced with so you can dance appropriately. on the other hand Circle of Power is a must-have for combat, creating an aura around you that lasts up to ten minutes with concentration- during that time, friendly creatures (including you) have advantage on all saves against magical effects- furthermore, succeeding on that save prevents all damage instead of half if it’s that kind of save. demons like fireballs, puppets don’t. simple stuff.

11. Bard 11: with our last level of bard you get sixth level spell slots for stuff like True Seeing to see through demonic illusions and the like. though if I’m being honest we haven’t gotten too specialized yet- let’s fix that.

12. Paladin 1: moving over to paladin gives you a Divine Sense- spend an action up to five times a day to sense celestials, fiends, and undead within 60’ of you. you know the type and location, but not their identity. being able to sense demons feels pretty important for.. y’know, a demon hunter.

you can also Lay on Hands to heal an ally, you have a pool that scales with your level and it refills every long rest. worth noting, this does not work on constructs, so you’ll have to patch up your puppet the old-fashioned way.

13. Paladin 2: second level paladins get a Fighting Style, and with your Defense you get a +1 bonus to all types of armor. I know you don’t wear a lot, but I’d still call your first ascension fit light armor at minimum. also, since you’re attacking via puppet they aren’t “your” attacks, so none of them count for fighting styles.

they also don’t count for Divine Smites, which is problematic, but we’ll find a workaround soon enough. if you do end up using them though, you spend a spell slot when you hit something with a melee attack, dealing radiant damage that scales based on the slot’s level. also it deals extra damage against fiends, which is a nice bonus for a demon hunter.

speaking of spell slots you get another set of spells from being a paladin, but you’ll have to check the multiclassing rules for what slots you have when. for now you can perform Ceremonies and Detect Evil and Good, but you can swap around paladin spells every long rest, so don’t sweat over getting the perfect setup right away.

14. Paladin 3: at third level you devote yourself to defeating demons and other extraplanar monsters as a Watcher, giving you two kinds of Channel Divinity that you can use once per short rest. your Watcher’s Will gives most of your party advantage on intelligence, wisdom, and charisma saves for a minute, or you can Abjure the Extraplanar to send aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, and fiends nearby running for up to a minute if they fail a wisdom save.

you also gain access to a pool of permanently prepared performances, like Alarm and Detect Magic. finally, your Divine Health makes you immune to disease.

15. Paladin 4: a fourth level paladin gets their own Ability Score Improvement, so power up your Charisma for stronger spells, channeled divinity, and a stronger puppet as well.

16. Paladin 5: fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack, but that only applies to you, not your puppet. on the plus side, you also get second level spells! now you can cast Magic Weapon more than once a day for your puppet. you can also See Invisibility to detect hidden demons, and use Moonbeam to expose them or other shapechangers.

17. Paladin 6: as a sixth level paladin you emit an Aura of Protection, adding your hefty charisma modifier to every save you make, as well as the saves of nearby friends. up until now you had a +0 in wisdom saves, so that’ll really come in handy!

18. Paladin 7: seventh level watchers also get the Aura of the Sentinel, adding your proficiency bonus to your and nearby allies’ initiative rolls. this technically isn’t adding the proficiency directly, so you get a 1.5x bonus!

19. Paladin 8: eighth level paladins get one last ASI, so let’s bump up your Dexterity so you’ll get hit less often, dance better, and be better with a dagger in case of emergencies.

20. Paladin 9: we finish our build by gaining access to third level paladin spells, including your subclass specialties, Counterspell and Nondetection. more importantly, you gain access to the spell Crusader’s Mantle, finally giving your puppet the chance to deal radiant damage. and so can everyone else within thirty feet of you, for that matter!

Pros & Cons

Pros:

while you don’t get counterspell until very late in the game, you’re great at using it- and dispel magic to boot. both spells use ability checks to counter magical effects, and wouldn’t you know it, bards are great at those! with a maxed out charisma modifier plus half proficiency, you have roughly a 50/50 shot of countering even a ninth level spell while only spending a third level one.

your decent dexterity plus your watcher aura makes you great at hitting first in a fight, and when you add in your puppet’s ability to speed you up and slow down enemies, and you’ll be running circles around them in no time.

while focusing your build so hard on your puppet does create some challenges, it also opens up some great adventuring opportunities. this one’s more a plus for your DM so they don’t have to start power-creeping all the magic loot- instead of getting a +1 sword, maybe you’ll get better metal for your puppet’s armor and raise its AC, or wood that conducts magic better and lets it stay animate for longer, or maybe new puppetry techniques that let your extra attack or divine smites carry over to it. basically, having a physical object you’ll be building up the whole adventure will give you and your dm new avenues to find fun in D&D.

Cons:

that last bit, of course, requires your DM to be flexible, so if you’re playing in adventurer’s league games or just have a new DM that wants to stick to the book, it’s going to cause a problem. by the time you reach level 20 the base stats for your dancing items are woefully outmatched by just about everything you could be facing, so maybe run this idea by your DM before committing to it.

we did what we could to fix up your soft stats, but the hard truth is you still only have 10 intelligence and wisdom. you get an aura of protection, sure, but not until level 17. in the meantime, you risk falling for illusions and mental games from your more otherworldly foes.

your puppet only lasts one hour, so keeping it up and running for longer periods of time will eat through your magic like nothing else. if you burn through every spell slot you have, you can keep him walking for 12 hours a day, which is nice, but that leaves you with almost no magic for anything else. basically, if you’re traveling a lot, invest in a cart. your 13 strength ass is not dragging him around the whole continent.

[fanfictiontrash]

Current Character Ability Scores

Story Update (This serves as both a note for our progress and where to get thoughts out about stats and class choices.)

As we leave the prologue that was Grimsborough, (The two main characters don't meet until the Rorschach Reaper case, but even then, they only get to know each other more in passing. After the other main character joins the fight against Milton, he makes the decision to stay by Athena's side, she's the character I'm playing.) we make our way to Pacific Bay! Pacific Bay is where we (By we I mean the player since he's never heard or played this game.) get to really know the characters now that both main characters are working together, I'll talk about Athena's ability scores another time so let's talk about Amy and Frank! Amy has a 14 in Strength (STR), a 14 in Dexterity (DEX), a 14 in Constitution (CON), a 10 Intelligence (INT), a 10 Wisdom (WIS), and a 14 Charisma (CHA). Frank has a 14 in STR, a 16 in DEX, a 14 in CON, a 10 INT, a 10 WIS, and a 10 CHA.

More details under the cut! I'll get to the others later.

A 10 in a stat isn't bad, it's just average, it's bad when it's under 10 due to the fact it starts to negativity effect the character. I'm making Amy a Fighter/Paladin. STR is a must for a Fighter, I also thought she'd make use of the STR to help her friends and others. Her DEX is high cause I'd think she'd be pretty good on her feet; she's walking around in heels in sand, she's getting a good DEX to keep her footing. CON! More hit points mean she's able to stay in a fight much longer! Protect more! Both her INT and WIS being a 10 is because she's a rookie cop, she knows what she needs to know and can make reasonable decisions, she has room to grow from learning from the main character, which is what she'll be doing. CHA is high because it's the Paladin's spell casting modifier, in this setting it's not nearly as important but CHA is helpful for getting information.

Frank! Frank's a pure Fighter. As mentioned with Amy STR is a must have for Fighters, also he headlocks someone who's like 250lbs, he needs that STR. His DEX is high to help with his sleight of hand skills, for no reason in particular of course. His CON is a 14 because honestly, I feel like he could take some hits, and yeah, it helps determine his ability to handle drinks. INT, WIS and CHA are all spell casting modifiers and while magic does exist in this world, I am a firm believer Frank heavily denies its existence even when it's proven it's real. He knows what he needs to, can make some good decisions and can for the most part does not offend people just by breathing.

[subliminalbo]

CW: addiction

A few years ago I read Claire DeWitt and the Bohemian Highway by Sara Gran. It's the second part in a trilogy of offbeat detective novels, the first of which, Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead, landed on some "Best of the Decade" lists back in 2020. The reaction to Bohemian Highway was more mixed. It ended up being my favorite book that I read that year.

Quick sidenote: I actually double checked the Goodreads score for both novels before I started writing this, and somehow City of the Dead has dropped below Bohemian Highway, but I swear to god the opinions were flipped when I read it.

The reason for Bohemian Highway's poor reception from readers was largely because its title character, Claire Dewitt, who is established as a recovering drug addict in the first novel, relapses early in the second and slowly spirals until she suffers an overdose near the end. Claire investigates the murder of an old boyfriend, which triggers her drug use, and much of the conflict is reading this highly qualified detective suffer lapses in judgment as she snorts copious amounts of cocaine. Claire DeWitt is not okay.

Sifting through negative reviews on Goodreads, words like "offensive" and "tasteless" come up a lot. The issue a lot of readers have is that they read the first in the series and thought of Claire as this strong female character. The vast majority of people also view drug addiction as weakness, so when they see Claire at her absolute worst, they treat it like this massive betrayal of the character. It's the same as people throwing a fit over Luke Skywalker drinking milk like an absolute creep.

It's a cruel, emotionless way to view the world. We're all suffering through our own traumas, whether it involves drugs, or family, or religion or mental health. Story is conflict, and there can be strength in the way people overcome that conflict, but it does not make you weak to fail. I'm not really interested in people who never fail.

Anyway, I'm not exactly sure why I decided to write about a ten year old book on my hypnokink blog randomly, but it's just what I'm thinking about tonight. I guess I can work it into a broader discussion about writing strong characters and what strength means, but I'm tired and I'm fumbling with that connective thread right now.

So, yeah. Go read Sara Gran, I guess?

[air--so--sweet]

Watching Legion for the first time and I really love the show, but David and Syd being in love has always felt unearned to me and their level of blind trust in each other leads to them ignoring glaring red flags right in front of them, putting them and their friends in danger as a direct result- Syd trusting David when he was actually posessed by Amal Fahrouk and David's trust of Future Syd (I actually havent watched far enough to actually know if Future Syd is telling David the truth but I feel like my point about him blindly trusting her stands either way).

I thought it was just another show peddling a toxic dynamic as romantic, but I've just watched Chapter 12 and I'm starting to think that actually maybe I'm meant to think their dynamic is toxic? Because David views falling in love with Syd after years of pain and suffering as a fairytale. She was Prince Charming coming to break the curse he was under with true love's kiss. Syd on the other hand doesn't belive love can save you because love just makes you soft and weak and stupid, that they need to use the strength gained through enduring trauma to fight to survive and save love.

Both world views are deeply problematic. David's relationship with Syd didn't and can't erase the damage done to him by Amal Fahrouk and his powers. Likewise, love does not necessarily lead to decay, and pain does not inherently lead to strength. You can love and be strong enough to survive. Damage sometimes does nothing but damage you.

And there's no way to read those views as anything other than toxic right? So we're meant to see them negatively or at least question the viability of their relationship by episode's end right? I feel like I'm usually good at telling what a show wants me to think or feel about characters, whether or not I actually think or feel those things. With David and Syd though, I'm feeling pretty lost. I also think that maybe I'm trying to delude myself into thinking there's something deeper at play here rather than admitting their love feeling unearned because of poor characterisation. Only time will tell, I guess.

Despite my confusion, Chapter 12 is a stellar episode overall. One thing I loved was that we got the opening credits at the end of the episode, making the episode one long cold open. It definitely felt like an episode setting up for bigger things and to use the credits to acknowledge that was really fun. Not everything different that Legion tries to do lands for me, but I enjoy the creativity and experimentation regardless. There's not enough of that in TV, in my opinion.

Also, in reading reviews to try ascertain how I was meant to be reading the show, I found out that Jeff Russo, the lead composer on TUA, was also the composer on Legion. I don't feel like I know enough TV score composers to claim to have a favourite, but, ugh, his work just does something to my brain. I can't get enough.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1, bracket two

Propaganda:

For Wyll:

He's a warlock so primarily a magic user but he is introduced by stabbing someone with his rapier and even if you stat him to do other things he still gets a Very Good Rapier as part of his personal quest, that's how intrinsically tied to the blade he is. His pseudonym is the Blade of Frontiers and it is mentioned constantly, by others and by himself in the third person. His strength score is negative and his dexterity is just okay so if you really want him to be useful you have to jump through a couple of hoops to make his WILDLY high charisma affect his swordplay. As it should because as all good swordsmen understand, fighting with a rapier is 90% style and panache. He's even bisexual

Known as The Blade of the Frontiers, he's dedicated his life to fighting evil with his rapier and sketchy demon contract. He's a very good boy. 

His epithet is The Blade of Frontiers so I think that says enough but if it isn't he's introduced waving a rapier around and warning his enemies about the Blade's sting so that's epic.

For Nanami:

Listen she's gay to me. One of the most iconic mean girls in anime, she even has the rich arrogant lady laugh (Ohhhh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!)

[rapha-reads]

Gonna be totally honest, I don't get how anyone can feel actual dislike towards Thirteenth and series 11-12. Indifference, yes, hatred/dislike? Why?

Edit: aaaand this got long, like most of my DW rants. Settle in, grab a cup of tea, a... Handful of dirt.

I just rewatched Praxeus and Can You Hear Me (12x06-07) and they're so interesting? So refreshing?

Edit: I'm mostly talking about Praxeus here because that's the aspect I want to develop, but Can You Hear Me is also very interesting to discuss in regards to another aspect of the show, less meta and more narrative. We'll get back to this later. Maybe.

First, Segun Akinola's score is beautiful. I already talked about it in another one of my posts (that I'm not going to look up now otherwise I'll be up til dawn), but it's subtler than Murray Gold's, but still very present and atmospheric. It's melancholic, and metallic, and ethereal, very 2020s, which totally suits Thirteenth. She's very paradoxical, Thirteenth, she's both very present and very distant, exactly like the music that surrounds her. I feel like this gif below, from Praxeus, describes rather well the feelings Akinola's music incite. The sort of wonder and nostalgic anxiousness at the beauty, force and fragility of planet Earth.

Secondly, the storylines in general are so much more... I wanna say heavy, but not in a negative or literal way. Heavy, as in, they get you to places in your psyche that you hadn't considered before, or in a long time. Which is something that Doctor Who has always done, by the way. But the feeling I get from having watched 2 episodes of Eleventh, one of Twelfth and 2 of Thirteenth in 3 days, is that previous narratives don't want to be too explicit about what they're about.

I'll explain. Praxeus talks about pollution, of the planet and of our own health. Other DW episodes have talked about that theme (though I cant think of one right now), but always in a manner that lets the viewer be reassured/distracted by the scifi elements. Praxeus is direct, and real. And I know what the critics are, "it's so preachy, it's so paranoid, bla bla". But... It's not? It's the actual reality? And what is science-fiction if not putting in the light our reality? What is Doctor Who if not a show about humans and Earth, at its core? And yes, maybe it's much more direct than before, but I invite you to look around you, look at the 21st century, look at these first years of the 2020s. The time for subtlety and gentleness is long gone, direct action, direct call to what must be corrected is what's needed.

And that's the strength of Doctor Who, I think, its adaptability to its time.

[dustinfrueh012]

The Astronaut's Wife (a Film Review)

Negative Reviews Aren’t Necessarily a Bad Thing

Prompted by Tubi to finally watch The Astronaut’s Wife before it left the streaming platform on Friday, June 3oth, I went into it kind of expecting a less than stellar film. I was, however, cautiously optimistic that I’d like it. I was hoping to find one of those rare gems of filmmaking that I’d, at the very least, respect and appreciate, and maybe even love. Those type of experiences don’t happen often, but when they do, it’s worth every second to risk it. To better illustrate my point, it’s entirely possible that I might not have tried it at all, were it not for the film’s alleged saving grace: the performances.

 According to pretty most reviews, (both professional and everyday consumers,) the one quality that saves it from being tossed in the proverbial rubbish heap is the performances of its stars, Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron. They’re said to be on-point. That alone convinced me.

”What I am is a true American hero. Now, the President of the United States of America said that, and you heard him.”

Written and directed by Rand Ravich, The Astronaut’s Wife reeled me in with its opening scene, and it isn’t long before I’m transported by it. Some of those first scenes are beautiful to behold, and I don’t compliment it lightly. It’s fascinating to simply watch the actions of the main players and listen to their carefully chosen words. It’s through those that the audience learns about the close-knit relationship between Depp’s Spencer and Theron’s Jillian, whom he affectionately refers calls Jill. Their marriage is complicated, and is seemingly made stronger by their mutual respect and a deep, admirable love. There’s a lot at stake, and in Ravich’s directorial debut, he makes those stakes clear.

Par for the course, it’s not long before everything they thought they knew and believed to be true comes crashing down like a riotous game of Jenga. Their world can only implode. The latter is emphasized for dramatic effect, because one of the common criticisms speaks directly toward this. With an approval rating of just fifteen percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and an audience score of thirty-three percent, the critic’s consensus is that the film “moves at a snail’s pace and fails to generate enough intrigue to keep viewers interested.”

Not to be dismissive of many, highly regarded reviews (even Siskel & Ebert said that while they didn’t hate The Astronaut’s Wife, untilmately they were apathetic towards it,) but the first act isn't meant to fly by with lightening-quick speed. It’s just not. Furthermore, the pacing is near perfection. In fact, I wouldn’t object to a little more time with Mr. and Mrs. Armacost, to sit with them before the inevitable craziness ensues. Instead of a plot moving at breakneck speed, it’s a predominantly taut, psychological thriller set in a similar vein as The Invasion of the Body Snatchers, with a fairly even balance of science fiction and horror.

As the title suggests, the main focal point revolves around Jillian, as it explores the impact on her psyche and her physical and mental well-being. Theron gives everything to her portrayal of the doting wife and the passionate educator. In many ways, she’s the victim, though she doesn’t come across as such. She has to be the pillar of strength, because her character is intentionally left in the dark and she has to discover what really happened in those mysterious two minutes of her husband’s failed mission. There’s more to everything at stake for her character, but anything more would spoil it. One scene, in particular, between Spencer and Jill, was extremely moving and contrary to many criticisms, the dialogue is on-point. It’s powerful, relatable, and it never feels disingenuous. There’s a strong resemblance to real life to it, almost as though it was taken from an actual conversation.

 None of it seems unrealistic or far-fetched, despite it being science fiction. And that’s saying a lot, because there are plenty of stories in the genre that feel a little unrealistic, and require the suspension of disbelief. I’m not even entirely certain how the filmmakers made it seem so grounded in reality, while simultaneously keeping solid ground in the speculative nature of the story. In response, I can only shake my head in disbelief, wondering if the naysayers somehow forgot that it’s predominantly sci-fi, a genre that almost celebrates the improbable, the unnatural, and the fantastical. Plus, it’s fiction. Escapism at its finest. Making sense or being completely logical isn’t always a necessary ingredient. Why else do we consume fiction, if not for escapism?

 Actually, with the exception of the ending, there isn’t a lot that’s extravagant or impossible. But I love the dramatic culmination of events. It doesn’t really bother me that what took place can’t happen like it did. In context with everything that came before, the resolution felt natural, like it was meant to be. Earnestly, I can’t imagine it ending any other way.

 ”There is something I need to tell you, Jill...About what happened. All there was...was the cold. I knew what the cold was...it was death. Then the cold faded and then I felt warmth. It was the warmth of you.”

 Now, was the basic concept of the film unoriginal? To some extent, yes. Frankly, it’s something that the sci-fi/horror community has seen many times. At the same time, though, it’s not always about originality. Sometimes, execution takes precedence, and I love that about this film. The thing I appreciate most about The Astronaut’s Wife is that its emphasis is on the characters (Jill, specifically,) as opposed to the Other. There’s a beautiful examination of what it means to be human, to be flawed as well as moral. Whereas a lot of stories have a tendancy to simplify good and evil, the film seems to cast a spotlight of understanding on both sides of the coin, and that’s very refreshing.

 The outstanding performances weren’t limited to Johhny Depp and Charlize Theron, either. Girl, Interrupted’s Clea DuVall’s portrayal of Jillian’s empathetic sibling was nothing short of moving, and my appetite for her scenes insatiable. And almost juxtaposed with DuVall’s Nan was Joe Morton’s Sherman Reese (Speed,) a disgrunted NASA representative who might or might not be in his sound mind.

Needless to say, I love everything about this film. The cinematography is beautiful. The haunting notes of the score is the perfect accompaniment, complete with a sense of palpable dread and suspense. The special effects are neither over or underdone, and kudos to all involved for not making it look or feel like CGI. I could go on and on, but reading my high praises is probably starting to sound repitive and nauseating, so I’ll wrap this up.

 If you’re at all curious, I encourage you to give The Astronaut’s Wife and chance and form your own opinions. You might just find another film that you enjoy. If not, then at least you can honestly say that you saw it, didn’t like it, and give your reasons why. If nothing else, go into it strictly for the rock star performances. I hope that I never forget this underrated, extremely polarizing film.

Rating: 5/5 stars

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Blue Beetle

I believe we're all familiar with the term "suspension of disbelief" correct? I mean, you can say that about the majority of films in the superhero genre, but man does this film truly take that term to a level that I haven't seen in a while. For the longest time we have been treated to more grounded superhero films that had fantastical elements, but felt tangible and above all, possible. When dealing with alien tech in these films, yeah its supposed to be over the top, but somewhere along the way the tone needs to center itself for us to stay engaged throughout the film while being pelted by nonstop CGI madness. As a massive DC fan, the character of Blue Beetle has always been flashy and they nailed that aspect with the beautiful color scheme and visuals. This film truly leaned into the neo 80's sci fi style complete with plenty of neon blue and purple. The core of the film is about the power of family, but it lacks balance in trying to represent the Latino culture while trying to deliver a decent origin story that isn't filled to the brim with boring stereotypical character archetypes. You can throw as much kinetic energy on screen with cool visuals, but it means nothing if the story has nothing to say.

Xolo Maridueña was charming and fun to watch as Jamie Reyes. I loved that he was always connected to his family and how he was a brilliant kid. I engaged with his growth as the film progressed, but I wish he had toned down the characters reactions to the Scarab. He spends most of the film screaming and freaking out and I wish there was more moments of him actually stopping and trying to figure out the new tech and his abilities. By the time he finally becomes a sort of hero, I liked his dedication, but he could've been directed better in how he got there. Belissa Escobedo was good as his annoying and angsty sister Milagro Reyes. There were moments where I wish she would pull back the constant negative and snarky comments as they completely stop the momentum of a scene. Damián Alcázar was awesome and heartfelt as Jamie's father Alberto Reyes. He was the core of the family and I enjoyed his scenes the most as he imparted the wisdom and calm the story needed. Elpidia Carrillo was good as Jamie's mother Rocio Reyes and the strength she portrays later in the film was astounding. Adriana Barraza was amazing and stole the film as Jamie's grandmother, Nana. I loved that there was more to her than the strong and lovable character in the background. George Lopez was fun and sometimes hilarious as Jamie's uncle, Rudy Reyes. He brings back that infectious energy that we all love him for and his expert comedic timing is on display. Even though he was paranoid most of the time, he was right and a brilliant engineer. Bruna Marquezine was really good as Jenny Kord and I liked that she had a strong moral compass in the film. Her chemistry with Jamie was forced at times, but levels out once everything slows down. Raoul Max Trujillo was good as the stoic fighter and bodyguard Ignacio Carapax. He pretty much was the person for Jamie to fight in the film, but there was more to his story and it made him more than a cardboard cut out villain. Susan Sarandon was decent as Jenny's aunt, Victoria Kord. She was your typical crooked and manipulative business woman that had the cliche rule the world with a new weapon program idea. Honestly, you were just waiting for her to be dealt with in some form and you can tell Susan was just there to have fun.

The score by Bobby Kalic was fun and filled with the classic 80's techno infused sound. It really hits hard when we get into the history of the original Blue Beetle and when we get to see his lair. The visual design of the film was vibrant as I mentioned before with the neon accents. I really liked that the suit was practical and the action was fun to watch when the camera was pulled back and still. The film was a decent introduction of the character and the emotional family story was the core of the film, but the film truly does lack focus. There are so many ideas thrown around and the plot of the film was so bland that after while it felt like a chore to get to the end. Although we're dealing with alien tech, I wish this film was way more grounded, slowed down and less crowded. In the grand scheme of superhero films, this was a more middle of the road adventure. Its a good watch, but nothing that elevates the genre in meaningful or extremely impactful way. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in comments below. Thanks for reading!

[untimelytales]

[ benjamin voisin, cis man, he/him. ] ✧･ﾟ is that [ peter darling ] who just stumbled into town? rumour has it that they’re the [ twenty-four ] year old child of [ wendy darling ] from [ peter pan ]. i’ve also heard that they’re [ romantic ] but [ entitled ] and have [ two ] siblings. i could almost swear i heard [ bury me alive - neoni ] playing when they appeared.

the eldest of three, peter had as much responsibility on his shoulders as his mother had when she was a child. however, there was some leniency on wendy’s part — allowing peter to continue cultivating his imagination as he grew into a responsible young man. he’d been named ‘peter’ moreso as a reminder to herself of the importance of childhood than anything else. peter used it as an excuse to shrug off his duties, often citing his mother’s story in a semi-guilt trip.

however, shirking his responsibilities only lasted so long. peter showed great strength in writing and comprehension, his parents saving up to send him to boarding school in france to better cultivate his skills. unfortunately, his professors and peers had far less of a tolerance when it came to his self-absorbed behaviour and punished him whenever he ran off to live in the adventures filling his head. regardless of the negativity he got, this was when he started to truly write down his ideas and draft his first stories.

he graduated with mostly stellar scores — marks in science and maths lacking — and no notable recommendations from his professors. he was still accepted into university where he studied english and writing, typing up novels in his free time. his works often rode along the lines of romance and fantasy, secretly placing himself as the main protagonist or the protagonist’s love interest. things were starting to go the way peter wanted them to when his favourite professor helped send a couple of his novels to a publisher that agreed to pick them up.

unfortunately, the plans of politicians had a different idea for what peter would be doing after he graduated university — the second great war. peter falsely claimed to still be a student to avoid the initial draft. his dodging would only last so long until he was caught. but, as luck would have it, the end of his rope wasn’t a letter or the military at his door. instead, it was an entirely new town with new faces and no war.

   basics:       full name:  peter edward darling       nicknames:  n/a       gender:  cis man       pronouns:  he / them       sexuality:  bisexual       age:  24       occupation:  writer       species:  human

   appearance:       faceclaim:  benjamin voisin       height:  5'11''       eyes:  blue       hair:  sandy blond       piercings:  n/a       tattoos:  n/a       other distinguishing features:  dusting of freckles       style:  formal-casual

   personality:       traits:  creative, open-minded, deceptive, avoidant       likes:  autumn, smell of ink, touch of leather       dislikes:  allergies, bright colours, mean cats       fears:  being unpublished       phobias:  bats       hobbies:  horseback riding, wine tasting       skills:  writing, intermediate illustration       quirks:  prefers to speak french despite not being such       pet peeves:  children, pessimistic professors

   family:       mother:  wendy darling       father:  edward       siblings:  two younger       birth order:  eldest       spouse / lover:  n/a       children:  n/a       pets:  dog named ‘tolkien’       notable close relatives:  uncles michael and john darling