#she hasn’t responded and idk if she read it yet

[thecommunalfoolboy]

I think tadc is gonna explore the different ways a person would cope with the situation of being trapped in a fake world and take them all to their logical extremes.

Like the whole thing with Jax is that he’s viewing this in a code breaker way. None of its real, the fake people aren’t real, so it doesn’t matter if I kill them and break things. Hell, what if that’s how we get out? What if you can break enough things that the whole code falls apart and the game shuts down? I find this idea the most interesting because i honestly think that’s how I’d react to the whole situation. Like if none of this shit has consequences then why not see just how far you can actually push it? Act insane and see how the game reacts. It’s like that option in a dialogue tree where the player sees it and is like ok no one would actually ever say that, but it’s insane enough that I wanna see what would happen if I did.

Kinger is the most realistic reaction in that he kinda literally just went crazy. Like he got locked in fairy land and lost it. He seems to at this point almost believe it’s all real too, he calls himself an actual king and not just a human who randomly got put in a chess piece body. He’s at the point that he’s just manic and accepted that this is reality now

Ragatha seems more like one of the early mindsets, like she arrived kinda recently. Her idea is to just play the game as it was supposed to be played. Go on the adventure, save the kingdom, oh no, the bad guys are here! She’s still trying to rationalize it all and act like it’s real. But after a while she’s probably gonna find it harder and harder to pretend that she cares about the next NPC’s problems. She’s gonna face the eternity trapped here one way or another, and when playing the game stops working she’s gonna have to find something that does.

Pomni’s so new to this all, she’s still going through the stages of grief. She’s so preoccupied with all this new stuff she hasn’t had to actually sit down and figure out how to respond yet. And most importantly, she still thinks there’s a way out- when she’s forced to realize that she’s stuck here for forever, she’s gonna have to figure out what’s next.

For Gangle and Zooble I’m honestly not sure. Maybe it’s just that they haven’t gotten as much screen time yet, but I can’t get quite the read on them comparatively. So idk if anyone has ideas lmk I guess

[astermath]

pairing: robin buckley x fem!reader

summary: robin falls head over heels for the cool girl renting horror movies at family video. steve can’t believe her awkward shyness is actually landing her a date, but he’s happy for her nonetheless.

word count: idk kinda short lol under 1K

notes: just wanted to write a little blurb, then it turned into something else, so enjoy this short little meet cute with robin ♡

normal sized font below!

Robin really is that love at first sight kinda girl.

She’s the type of girl to be busy sorting tapes at family video, when you walk in, all pretty femininity and mysterious aura around you. And suddenly she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She doesn’t know where she is, why she’s there, hell, she probably wouldn’t be able to tell you her name if she asked.

She doesn’t stop staring at you, not when you enter and not when you walk over to the horror section to pick something out. Only when Steve nudges her in her side, she snaps out of it, looking more flustered than ever.

“Dude, can you not?”

“Sorry man, it just— looked like you were falling asleep with your eyes open! What’s with you anyways?”

Robin doesn’t respond, simply averting her eyes to the cash register and hoping Steve doesn’t pry any further.

Which would have worked, if you weren’t talking to her right now.

“I’m sorry, can I—“

“Yes! Yes, absolutely, you can…” Robin trails off, realising she hasn’t even let you finish your request. Her own eagerness embarrasses her to no end, her face heating up and her cheeks now closely resembling the colour of a tomato.

To her surprise, you giggle. You’re not awkward about it at all, which somehow makes her fall for you even harder.

“I was gonna ask what the latest time would be when I’d be able to return this.” you smile, and the blonde girl is certain it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

“Oh! Yeah, totally, no problem! It’s uh— a great choice, by the way. I love friday the 13th, sooo good, all that horror stuff, a huge fan—“

“A week.” Steve interrupts her rambling.

“Huh?” Robin turns to her friend.

“To answer her question, since you’re too busy being head over heels over here.”

You chuckle again, and Robin genuinely thinks her head is going to explode. Not only is her best friend making fun of her in front of you, but you’re not even making her feel bad about it. It’s like you find it cute or something. How crazy is that?

“Cool, I’ll just uh,” you hold up the tape, “rent this one then.”

Robin rings you up, her hands moving faster than her mind, and she hopes you don’t notice the slight shakiness in them. It’s not every day the prettiest girl in the whole world shows up at her job, so she’s not exactly prepared.

“Thanks,” you take the tape from her along with the receipt, your fingers touching slightly when she slides them over. Now you’re the one who’s getting the butterflies.

“So, you said you were a fan of horror movies?”

Robin nods enthusiastically, while Steve has to bite his tongue to hold back from saying that that’s the biggest lie ever. Robin isn’t a coward, not at all, but she’s the worst at scary movies. She’s just saying all this to impress you. She doubts it’s working though.

“Well, I was gonna watch this alone, but…” you grab a pen off the counter and scribble down your number on the receipt. “If you feel like watching it together, give me a call…” you pause to read her name tag. “Robin.” You smile again. “Nice name.”

“T-Thanks! You uh, you too!”

“Thanks, even though I… Haven’t told you yet.” You write your name down next to the number. “Now you know.”

“Huh…” She reads it over, not being able to keep herself from smiling like she’s sunshine incarnate. “That is a really nice name though.”

You grin, grabbing the tape off the counter and stuffing it in your bag. “Well, Robin, I’m free this Friday, if you wanna take me up on the offer.” You start walking backwards and give her a quick wave. “See y’around.”

She waves back, although more hesitant. Frankly, she’s still processing the entire encounter, and the fact that you’re real. Someone as beautiful as you exists, talked to her, even gave her your number. She didn’t know a reality like that was possible.

“I can’t believe that worked.” Steve scoffs in disbelief, though he’s pretty stoked for Robin all in all. He wants his friend to find her special person as much as he does for himself.

“Yeah,” she stares as you walk off, “me too.”

The freckled girl groans loudly and drops her head into her hands. “Why the fuck did I say any of that? Why do I always just keep talking?”

“I don’t see the big deal Buckley,” her coworker leans against the counter, “you got your date, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but then what? Then what do I do? I might have been able to charm her with my awkward idiocy this time, but what if we watch the movie and she finds out I’m a huge wuss!” She gestures around wildly with her hands, earning a confused stare from one of the older customers.

“This is going to sound so stupid, and I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he runs his hand through his brown locks, “but just like, be yourself? She seems nice enough, I’m sure she won’t judge you for being a total scaredy cat.”

“Not helping, Harrington.” She gives him a defeated look.

“Sorry, you know what I mean.”

“But what if she does?”

“What?”

“What if she does judge me? I mean jesus Steve, I wouldn’t blame her! She’s like— way out of my coolness league! She’s practically doing charity work watching a movie with me.”

Steve scoffs. “Don’t sell yourself short, Buckley, you’re plenty cool. Besides, if she does judge you, then clearly she’s not worth it. But again, I think you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, already picturing her holding onto you in fear of a completely fictional serial killer. “I guess you’re right.” She goes quiet for a moment, before she’s back to daydreaming about the whole scenario. The two of you on your couch, shoulders touching, maybe an arm around her, hands brushing when you reach for the popcorn, all that sappy stuff…

“Buckley?”

Maybe you’d find it cute that she gets scared. Maybe you’d wanna protect her. She gets that vibe from you, that you’d keep her safe from all the Freddy Kruegers and Jason Voorhees of the world.

“Robin!”

Steve snaps her out of her daydreaming, gesturing towards Keith who’s about to enter the store.

“You two organise those tapes like I asked you to?” Their manager isn’t even looking at them, struggling with putting away his car keys.

Robin swipes the tapes off the counter and stuffs them randomly into the two boxes. That’s a problem for later.

“Yup! All sorted! Good thing I love organising stuff!” She laughs awkwardly, and Steve is fighting for his life trying not to laugh.

She’s got bigger things to worry about right now. Like what to wear for her date with you. And what kind of snacks you like to eat with your movies. And how she’s going to explain that the scariest thing she can handle is Frankenweenie.

comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

[scwheeler]

🏹🩰 ˖ ࣪⊹ — flipped

pairing: mike wheeler x fem!reader

summary: the first day you met mike wheeler, you flipped. hasn’t it been time he did too?

warnings: mean mike…

age of pairing: throughout the years, particularly 14-15

a/n: inspired by my favorite fucking movie flipped 😊😊 bc it’s so cute and romantic like something i will never fucking experience something like that 😕😕 (dt: @luv-finn bc they love this movie as much as me) — also idk if i’m actually back but i just never published this and there should be another part coming but idk if i’ll ever get to it… ALSO ITS REALLY FUNNY BC I WROTE FIC ABT FLIPPED AND THEN I HATED IT SO I REWROTE IT AND THIS IS THE REWRITE LOL

the first day you met mike wheeler, you flipped.

there was a feeling of inexplicable excitement and thrill rushing through your body. the sense of familiarity hitting you, you felt comfortable when looking at him as if he’d been your friend for years yet he was just a new face. he was just there, close to you, carrying boxes full of clothes and furniture.

your mom standing beside you and telling you about the flowers in your front yard became less interesting. you stopped responding, stopped moving, stopped breathing. he looked up and saw you staring. you felt your knees give out and nearly fell, holding yourself up against your mother. he looked away and got back to his box carrying, but before he could turn around you caught his glance.

it was those eyes, something in those dazzling eyes.

when school begun, you were over the moon to see him again walking through the classroom door with a few notebooks in hand. you had to tie yourself down so you didn’t tackle him right then and there. he introduced himself as mike wheeler and was seated right in front of you.

there couldn’t possibly be a clearer answer from the universe. he was so shy and so cute and his hair, it smelled like watermelon but every other wednesday, strawberry. you sat patiently everyday in your seat for him to arrive with his new button down shirt or whatever jcrew shirt his mom bought him and the same old sneakers. no matter how hard he would try to avoid it, the first thing he would see was you. your eyes perfectly matching his.

the first day i met y/n y/l/n, i didn’t care.

i helped my dad carry out the last boxes into the house from the moving truck as i heard women talking from the lawn next door. i never wanted to move to stupid indiana but it wasn’t up for discussion. i looked over to see our new neighbors and saw a girl and supposedly her mom. i didn’t acknowledge her, she looked like all the other girls he saw on the car ride to the neighborhood. she looked startled, maybe even a little scared so i looked away and got back to my job.

on the first day of school i was nervous. staring at the small pink slip from the office, my confidence sunk. being the new kid again? it sucks. the numbers on the slip read ‘13’ which was my new classroom number. the first two weeks i’ve been here and i’ve yet to make any friends meanwhile nancy already seems happy with the arrangement and hollys settled at home. why was i the only one the universe hated?

i knocked on the wooden door and waited for it to be opened by an old lady or man who would only give me a ton of homework everyday and to be faced him a bunch of kids who were gonna make my life a living hell. fortunately i got both of them wrong. the woman who answered the door was kind enough to introduce me to the class and give me a seat.

then i saw her. the girl from the next door lawn who was scared of me the moment i looked her way. she’s such a weirdo. what type of person just stared at someone for like a whole ten minutes and doesn’t even blink! she must be some type of robot. i sat down and the lesson began but i paid no attention to what the teacher was saying.

everyday, i’d enter the class late because my mom would drop off nancy first and then me. luckily i rushed to my seat quick enough for the teacher never to call me out for being late. but i would see her everyday in the morning. she was the first one i’d see with either her braids, ponytail, curls, or straight hair. she was always the first thing i would see.

her eyes looking into mine.

each week you were tasked to give a carton of eggs to the wheelers house and you were more than happy to do it. you would grab the carton before your mom could even ask you and dash out of the front door to his house. before knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell, you checked your hair in the window’s reflection beside the front door and calmed yourself. you knew you would be a mess the moment mike wheeler would open the door.

unfortunately every week it was a gamble. sometimes it’ll be nancy, mike’s sister or mikes mom, mrs. wheeler. occasionally it was even holly or mike’s dad. but the certain days that you heard mrs. wheeler yelling for mike to get the door, a smile was plastered across your face. you held onto the eggs tight and waited for him to open the door. although he never looked excited or happy to do so, you had enough excitement for the both of you to share.

this was the first time you’d ever approached mike’s house by yourself and if you were honest, you were nervous. “hey mike! um these are some eggs from our own chickens!” you happily handed the carton to mike. god why did you sound like a girl scout. “oh uh thanks i guess,” he responded and quickly shut the door.

soon the egg exchange became a weekly ritual and he started to open the door immediately, like he was expecting you to arrive which meant he actually acknowledged your presence. although you never got anything in return from him, being met with those dazzling eyes on every hot friday afternoon was good enough. sometimes you were at a loss for words when he opened the door and stare straight into your eyes. he made you feel like the most important girl in the whole world.

he made you feel loved by just a look.

“mike! get the door!” nancy was yelling from upstairs and got back to her conversation on the phone with probably steve or barb. with mom and dad out of the house and holly in the living room, it became my responsibility to get the door apparently?! i wrote my last sentence and rushed down the stairs to get the front door.

i assumed it was just some stupid girl scout or the newspaper guy but when i opened the door, i was met with her. the girl from the moving day and the girl in my class. i never really paid attention to her so i didn’t even know her name but she knew mine as she gave me a carton of eggs, “hey mike! um these are some eggs from our own chickens!”

i couldn’t even decline as she almost throw the box to me. i looked down at the brownish eggs all aligned in a work out cardboard carton. i was confused, why did she give me—eggs? i felt kinda bad not giving anything in return but i couldn’t think of anything from the top of my head so i just thanked her and closed the door.

approaching the kitchen, i set down the eggs on the counter and looked at them for a second. she had chickens? that’s weird especially as what—a pet? i just placed them inside the fridge and ran upstairs again to finish my homework.

later that day, during dinner we had meatloaf and an egg salad. i wondered if these were eggs from earlier today or ones that mom had bought from days ago. “by the way, the neighbor brought us eggs and they said they were homegrown or something,” i stabbed my meatloaf with my fork and mentioned the earlier events.

my mom seemed confused, “where’d you put them? i didn’t even get to see them?” “i put them in the fridge, like the second row,” i replied and drank my water. “oh those? the brown ones? i threw those away, we only buy the white ones and have you seen the neighbor’s yard?! if they have chickens in that yard and give us those eggs, we’d get salmonella for sure!” my dad brought up.

i felt bad but decided not to oppose my dads previous actions. instead my mom did, “ted, they’re nice people and those eggs could’ve gone to other uses if not eaten.” so he threw them away? “karen, if they’re nice people, they would give us a pie or a cake. mike if you get eggs again, just throw them away, i don’t want this family getting ill from bad eggs,” my dad ended the discussion and i only poked the egg on my plate. even though it wasn’t the egg given to me by the neighbor, i didn’t want to see or eat an egg anymore.

following my dads orders, every week when she would come with a grin and a new pack of eggs, i would quickly get the door and receive the carton. i’d say thanks even though i bit my tongue slightly since initially there’s nothing to be thankful for. i’d wait about ten minutes for her to walk away and re-enter her house, before going out the back gate and dumping the eggs in the compost. maybe i would’ve eaten the eggs but i was only following what my dad had said.

every week i’d be met with her eyes, i felt guilty like i was keeping a huge secret from her. i was but i couldn’t say anything, as much as she annoyed me, i still had my human decency. so i just grabbed the eggs and threw them away a couple minutes later. the cycle went on for months with her returning every week with a new batch and a new look in her eyes. i wanted to say something believe me, but i couldn’t just tell her to her face.

she made me feel so guilty with just a look.

[bleachbleachbleach]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you to @recurring-polynya my beloved for the tag!

I tag everyone who writes fanfic who hasn't done it yet! because I love reading these kinds of things

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

203, 11 under bleachbleachbleach.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

827,868

3) What fandoms do you write for?

I currently write for Bleach!

4) Top 5 fics by kudos?

I use a site skin that hides kudos/comment count/bookmark/hit data on all of the fics on AO3, because they make me feel bad about myself.

5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I post my fanfic on the Internet because I want to talk to people about these characters and these stories. Of course I’m going to take the opportunity. If someone comments on a fic of mine, chances are I’ve probably re-read the whole fic before replying, because, again, I’m going to TAKE that opportunity.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

All my fics are fairly dour the entire time, but I don’t think they tend to end badly. I’m most interested in the afterwards of something having ended badly (and/or something that is probably going to end badly, but hasn’t yet and maybe it won’t).

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics are fairly dour the entire time (she says, again), but happiest overall and happiest ending is probably Some Things, because nothing hard is obviously about to happen right after it ends (e.g. Aizen, the Winter War, the rest of TYBW, etc.).

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Hate, not usually. Passive-aggressive dismissiveness or unsolicited critique, yes.

9) Do you write smut?

I’ve written sexual content, but idk if it’s technically smut? In that the point of it is often not arousal. Like, I’m not expecting anyone to want to read it because it promises to be sexually satisfying and scorching hot. Usually the characters are Going Through It and either the sex is incidental or it makes everything worse. I love either an inconsequential bathroom fuck or sex that exists somewhere on the spectrum of Weird. All of which can be kink in itself, yes! But I’ve never written anything and thought, "yeah, THIS, this is gonna make someone nut."

10) Do you write crossovers?

No, but if I did it would be about Iba being great friends with King from Run with the Wind. This is THE crossover canon of all time, mark me.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I’m not sure? I’ve had people offer, usually never to be heard from again, but I think it may have happened once, a long time ago.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, but I didn’t really enjoy the process. Or didn’t *get* it? I guess I don’t really understand how it works? I barely understand how RP could work, lol. 

Obviously we run this blog in tandem, and have co-written posts. I regularly hop into docs with multiple authors for things like abstracts, copy, organizational statements, etc. But fanfic is, to me, a completely different creature. That’s between you and the characters.

14) What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don’t think I’ve ever thought about a ship in this way. This is not about fandom or fanfic, but I will say I’ve reliably cried about David/Patrick’s wedding (and entire courtship) EVERY time I’ve watched Schitt’s Creek. S-tier.

15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I used to be someone of many fics and many WIPs, but in Bleach I am someone with one WIP and a selection of other posted fics, all of which have been pinched off of my one WIP, like little spider plants.

16) What are your writing strengths?

My strength is that I enjoy the process of writing fanfic. Like, obviously it’s frustrating when something isn’t coming together, or is just bad (though sometimes it’s still enjoyable even when I know the product itself is bad). Sure, it’s often DISTINCTLY UN-FUN if this is happening while the fic is on deadline, but overall I like writing fanfic, and I find I don’t relate to most "writers avoiding writing" memes I see. (Well, with work writing, I find them highly relatable. I’ve heard there are people in my profession who enjoy work writing. COULDN’T BE ME.) By god, I did not wrest away this time to write fanfic, only to NOT enjoy it!!

Product-wise, my strength is that I know my taste, at least, so I usually like the things I post, even if I don’t think they did everything well. Craft-wise, my personal favorite trait of my own writing is the rhythm and repetition, and the layering of metaphor that results.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

How badly I want to hear from people after I have shared something. My father once told me (not about fanfic lol) that "not everything requires a response" but man, if I’m going to put my heart on the line, my heart requires one, regardless of whether the greater balance of the universe does. 

Craft-wise, I think my weakness is sometimes leaving too much to implication (and the opposite, overwriting or overmechanizing, executed out of fear of leaving too much to implication).

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

For Bleach, I consider all dialogue as already in-translation, even though the only language these fics exist in is English. Depending no how important I think the dialogue is or how well-versed I am in how the character speaks in Japanese, I will sometimes spend a lot of time thinking about how the scene would go in Japanese, and what the best translation would be for that in English. I’m nowhere near fluent in Japanese; I just really like translation theory. In practice, the way this works is like, I’ll have a certain grammatical construction in mind, or an order of phrases in mind, and then I spend a lot of time deciding if what I want for the scene is a "Nabokov does Onegin" translation (literal, "pure," estranging), or a "Pushkin does Shakespeare" translation (in the artistic idiom of the target language). This kind of playground is one of the things I love most about Bleach, and one of the reasons I started writing for Bleach in the first place. I really enjoy it!

I am not fluent enough in any language other than English to want to write dialogue in it. I think all of you who write fanfic outside of your primary language(s) are phenomenal.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Online and disseminated to others? Inuyasha, back when you had to also build the website to host it. (We discovered FFN later, lol.)

20) Favorite fic you've ever written?

I really like most of the fic I’ve written, to be honest. I think that’s probably less true of things pre-2009, but probably some of that stuff, too. Some are more take or leave, but of everything I’ve written in the last five years, there’s only one where I looked at the title just now and thought 'ehhhh.'

On this blog, I try to avoid talking in the specific about things I’ve made that aren’t for Bleach, but How Many Thousands is my top favorite. It was written for one of my best friends in the world, before we were actually friends. I consider it my love letter to her.

For Bleach, it’s probably my East Rukongai Soul Train fanfic, which I have  read more times than the entire rest of the planet combined. I have read it many times. Thank you to those of you who also read to the end, because you are one of the highlights of my entire 2023!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Hey,

Emily just did a podcast with some ladies who were in the Santa Bootcamp movie with her, I believe one is the director and it’s called “what woman binge” I listened to it on Spotify but it’s also on Apple Podcasts. And they ask Emily a LOT of stuff, including a lot of Walking Dead questions. Emily adresses how she got shot in the head when she died and that’s why she never turned into a zombie. And then they ask her what are the main questions that people ask you about TWD, and she responds hesitantly, “what’s it like working with Norman Reedus, I cried when you died (comment she gets), and are you ever coming back.” And when she gets to the last question she says “are you gunna come back…as like…a something?” Then they directly ask her about if she’s in the TWD finale (which I believe is the first time she’s been asked), and she says “I don’t know” and gets really flustered which she then covers up by changing the conversation to zombies and how zombies work in TWD. Definitely suspicious in my opinion. And finally when she mentions why people ask her about Norman Reedus, she struggles to explain why people ask about them, without mentioning any romance or relationship. Instead she talks about how they were a “pair” for a while, and that’s why people link them. Anyway, I’m not done with it yet, but it coming out when TWD is coming to the end and her addressing being in the finale for the first time (I think) is interesting. Thoughts?

So, this is definitely suspicious. We all know Emily has no poker face and sometimes gets really flustered when asked questions about Beth. I think, overall, she's gotten better at it over the years, but this is still very interesting. Me and my fellow theorists listened to it and talked about it a little. I'll give you our convo below. Overall, I think we had the same read on it that you did, and may not have tons to add. But thanks for finding this. I'm definitely side-eyeing it.

@galadrieljones:

All right so I listened to the podcast. Well, I listened to the first half, and all the stuff on TWD. I will listen to the rest later to make sure no more comes up, but I have a feeling this is it. There are definitely some…weird things. Like the anon says. But there’s more, too, than what they mention. Let me know what you think. Since I am less familiar with Emily Kinney’s personal style when it comes to talking about the show, I’m definitely interested in your thoughts.

First of all, in the title of the episode, Emily is credited as “Star of the Walking Dead Emily Kinney.” So like, she’s still being heavily associated with the show. She’s on the show because Melissa Joan Hart is the director of her Hallmark movie. So like, they easily could have credited her for that.

Overall, they spend a lot of time talking about a show that Emily hasn’t starred in for almost a decade. Just saying. Anyway, apparently in her upcoming hallmark movie, Emily has to use sign language. They talk a lot about learning sign language. Emily, at one point, makes a reference to CODA, aka “Children of Deaf Adults.”

Apparently, one of the actresses in the movie, her husband directed the movie CODA, which won an Oscar last year. Idk if you remember but they advertised the movie CODA during Emily’s episode of TTD. This was weird. I really don’t know. I mean, is it coincidence?? It seems like a lot of coincidences. Connie is deaf, and Daryl learns sign language to communicate with her. Now Emily is learning sign language apparently for some other role. It also made me reevaluate the word “CODA,” since I honestly didn’t know this was one of its meanings.

Next, they talk about The Walking Dead.

Neither Melissa nor her cohost have seen TWD. So Emily basically explains the whole show. She goes into a lot of detail about the walkers, how you kill the walkers, and yes, she mentions that when she “died,” she got shot in the head, so she never got to be a walker. She talks about how, when she first started the show, she really wanted to have the opportunity to be a walker, but then as time went on, she no longer did. She said she didn’t want people to remember Beth as a walker, so she was thankful she didn’t have to do that.

I also want to point out that when Emily says she “died,” she laughs. It wasn’t super suspect or anything, just like like, “When I died LOL” kind of feel. I learned today too that Frank Darabont cast Emily, via a skype call, on just her second audition. I believe that the fact she could sing wasn’t discovered until later.

Having just watched a bunch of episodes of season 2, it’s clear they didn’t know about her musicality when they cast her, or that it wasn’t a part of the character until later, season 3, because Dale finds a guitar and says he thinks “Glenn would like a guitar.” Later, Glenn asks if anyone at the farm can play guitar. Beth doesn’t say anything. Patricia just says, “Otis could.” Apparently Otis was really good at guitar. This could be explained away that Beth was being modest or shy and didn’t want to say anything, but yeah I think that the music came later. And i feel like maybe Gimple has attested to this as well but I can’t remember. Anyway.

Next, Melissa asked Emily the most common questions she gets about TWD. Emily hems and haws a lot. She says “Um…….” and there’s a long pause, like she doesn’t know what to say, so Melissa interjects and gives some examples of the types of questions she still gets about Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

So then Emily comes back in, and she’s super reluctant. She says, “I don’t know if I wanna be honest about it…” then starts laughing. She says she gets a lot of questions about working with Norman. She says “We had an episode where were like a—where we were like a team…so people like see us as this—or at the time, it was like were were seen as like this unit.”

She went back and forth there. She says, “People like see us as this—“ then she stops to reassess and says “or at the time, it was like we were…” etc. She was clear to correct herself and say that it was “at the time” that they were seen as a “unit.” Emily then clearly says that people ask a lot “if she’s going to come back.” Here’s the convo:

Emily: [They ask,] Are you gonna come back as like a…[pause]…something…? Melissa: [matter-of-factly] Are you? Are you in the three-parter ending? Co-host: [in the background] Not a zombie but a *ghost*… Emily: Um…I don’t think so? No? [laughsl

This was weird to me! It’s a weird answer. I know you guys have said she does this sort of thing a lot. Like how do you not know?? Note that Emily is NOT reluctant to talk about The Walking Dead. She describes the show in great detail, talks all about its themes, the walkers, the rules of the world, tries to get Melissa to watch it, and gives her advice on whether it’s appropriate for Melissa’s 9yo son.

BUT. She is super reluctant to talk about the types of questions she gets about TWD. When Melissa asks about the questions, and when Melissa asks whether Beth will be back, she is really reluctant and just sort of laughs it off. It’s just really weird to me that she “doesn’t know” if she’s in finale lol. Like, either she legit doesn’t know (which is weird) or she knows but she can’t say so, and she can’t lie (also weird). Idk which is more likely. Like, if she’s NOT in the finale, and she knows, she would probably just say so, right? Also, they talked so much about TWD. I feel like she must have known ahead of time that it would come up?

The Coda stuff is weird, and not explainable. It’s strange to me that both she and Norman have learned sign language in the past couple years.

That’s all my notes. Interested in your thoughts!!

@wdway:

Thanks @galadrieljones, for listening. This is strange and intriguing isn't it. While I was reading where Emily was searching for a word to describe Daryl and Beth's relationship I kept wanting to shout couple, couple, you guys were a couple! Haha. Of course you have to be careful in this situation because there was so many rumors of Norman and Emily actually dating.

You're right how odd it is that they were promoting Emily as a star from Walking Dead rather than a star of the movie they were supposedly promoting. I'm familiar with the movie Coda. I would really love to see it but it was on the (I believe Apple cable) and we don't have that channel but I did watch when the actor win the academy award for it and was thrilled for him. It is another strange coincidence with Emily using sign language.

I have to tell you that I have thought more than a few times about Daryl not being able to speak French but I had wondered how the use of sign language would come in handy. Of course it's American sign language so I don't know how much of a difference internationally that would be. Sorry, going down a side tunnel. Looking forward to reading if @twdmusicboxmystery had the same reactions as you did.

I did not realize that Emily was cast by Frank Darabont. I do know that they had mentioned quite a few times that they did not originally know about Emily's musical talent and that it was when they found out and actually went and saw her perform that they decided to take advantage of that and add it to her storyline. It was at one of her nightclub performances the notorious story of Greg being asked about Beth's storyline and he said something to the effect that you're really going to enjoy her journey, it's incredible ( I'm paraphrasing.)

Beth/Bethyl fans have always been angry that if he knew that Beth was going to be killed how would a fan really enjoy that. Her performing locally in Georgia was another reason that there were rumors about her and Norman because he would show up for some of her shows and just be in the back of the room watching.

@galadrieljones:

Thanks for all this intel. Omg I can’t stop picturing Norman showing up at Emily’s shows and smoldering in the back of the bar while she performed. I would die if that were me lol. I’m glad I’m not the only one who found all of this interesting.

The Coda/Sign language stuff is SO weird. I mean, if it’s pure coincidence, then it’s a HELLUVA coincidence, with the sign language thing AND the word—CODA. It’s got me thinking that maybe she already knew some sign language for some other reason and it’s part of why she was cast in this particular Hallmark movie, in which the character knows sign language.

Speculation time—if Beth loses some ability to speak for a little while after she’s shot, sign language would be a great way for her to learn to communicate, no? Haha. Also looking forward to @twdmusicboxmystery's reaction. And you’re right, Ann, it is like she’s trying to come up with these alternative words. “unit,” “team.” Lmao.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Okay, I listened to the podcast. I don’t know that I have much to add except that I had the same read you both did. I thought she was super suspicious. The line about not wanting to be honest about it caught my ear. Like, is there anything else you’re not being totally honest about Emily? 😄 I thought the same about the sign language too. Like, what are the chances? Seems to coincidental to actually be one. 🤔

That's all. Thanks again for sending this in. People can listen to the podcast here:

Xoxo! 🦃💘

[moodindigov]

celia charity brightwell; my personal view on her words in s&p and her character.

okay tbh idk if this has ever been brought up before and tbf i havent looked into it yet because this thought just came so suddenly to me while i was reading ash and quill for like the eighteen billionth time, but can we talk about celia charity whatever her name is brightwell? like can we talk about her bond with her sons being literally non existent. (read more bcs i won’t make u scroll past this post for 2 seconds when u can scroll past it in like a quarter of that time.)

genuinely think about it, celia brightwell is ‘a dutiful mother but never a loving one’ and suddenly this all changes because she’s lost almost all her kids..like i get that we can’t see her inner thoughts or monologue from her or anything, and i understand that she may have been going through her own share of the struggle of fighting back trauma and getting enough strength to do this, but i personally cannot see jess truly forgiving her for what she’s done—or for that matter, what she hasn’t done that so deeply hurt him that in a&q when asked for his mother’s jewels by thomas, jess promptly responds that he’s ‘lucky to have a thief for a friend.’ and when wolfe overhears his schemes with khalila and dario and shows jess that if we would’ve just asked celia charity whats-her-name for the jewels, she would’ve gladly given them over, he has this reaction of just pure anguish and fury; how can wolfe be so sure? how could wolfe understand what he went through, and even more so, how can he just talk about his mother as if she ever truly loved him, cared for him as a mother should, when throughout his eighteen years of living and struggling to keep himself above water from the storm that callum’s made of his life, she’s simply been an entity in his life. there but not present in his life, a shadow. something not physically attainable to hold and ground himself to a reality - and it’s that real sort of reaction from jess who’s just at this point completely given up on the hope of receiving motherly love from this enigma in his life, knowing he probably should give up hope that she’d treat him with any sort of actual care because he knows he’d just be disappointed with the outcome, and yet still holding onto that fragile piece that maybe she could. i personally feel like the end of sword and pen where jess just automatically declares his love for her is so inaccurate and imo so rushed i feel to get a sort of happy ending for the brightwell family. and like i said earlier, we don’t know at all what celia was going through and i understand it would’ve taken time for her to build up the courage to stand up to callum herself, but its so sporadic in the end, so- abrupt, that it seems not really fleshed out enough to truly be something anyone would consider forgiving in the moment, but we’ll give jess benefit of the doubt. he’s still freshly grieving morgan and his twin (i should probably write something ab that too) so maybe his reaction to just immediately cling onto a semblance of love someone from his blood family could offer was more instinctual, more him trying to grasp that feeling that no one in his family could’ve given him up until that point. but even then, even when charity couldn’t stand up to callum and his cruel ways and couldn’t get herself out from under his boot, it didn’t leave her unable to bond with her sons. it didn’t suddenly stop her from getting the chance to at least try and protect them from what she knew was going on, what they were going through. and at the beginning of the series i just assumed she rarely even cared for them, because remember callum only married her for money and power and probably some other toxic and self-centered desire i can’t think of, but when it’s revealed she does care for them, it makes it even more confusing. did she not talk to them in hopes of them just never bonding so she could, at least maybe for a small time, ignore the mistake she’d made of marrying callum and the consequences that came with it, and suddenly when she’s ready to acknowledge those consequences, she comes to jess’ aid? was it for some desire that maybe she could protect them? i just dont get it.

[starsarefire824]

rewatching season 1 and its confirming my bi mike truth. for real.

• he goes out of his way for her

•he speaks to her with the same Will Voice™️ in a lot of the scenes.

• he tried to kiss her unprompted in the bathroom. (she has literally no idea what he’s doing)

• when he says she’s pretty especially the second time, he really means it. I read his confused face more as I can’t believe I said that kind of thing and not a ew gross kind of thing

•his speech at the end is definitely him trying and failing to say that he likes her romantically (as romantic as a 12 year old romance can be anyway)

Now, she’s very androgynous and sure that can he explained as he prefers her when she looks like a boy (like Will), but that’s a moot point in my opinion cause bi people have very differing tastes usually when it comes to different genders. (Something he would be totally unaware of at that age and also is something that evolves/changes)

I think watching season one and two combined has really confirmed this for me. Season 1 is El and his feelings for her. Season 2 switches to Will and his feelings for him. Season 3 is when they are all finally thrown together and how he can’t balance them in his life because the feelings for both are romantic. (I don’t think he’s self-aware enough there to realize that though in regards to Will). I think that there is a lot of what actors’ and creators’ have said going on there. Mike is trying to be this picture in his head of what “normal” looks like.

Then season 4 imo is the fallout of that struggle (which i also think continues in a more adult/direct way but it sort of is really putting even more pressure on both of his relationships). He’s a bit older and the two most important people in his life are thousands of miles away. Like he said himself, “his other friends are great, but they aren’t Will). I think that hug scene was the culmination of him realizing how much he’s missed Will isn’t “normal”. I think he’s realizing that those feelings are equal (or imo overpower) what he feels for El. I think maybe, painfully slowly, he’s realizing that he’s attracted/wants to be with Will in a way that isn’t “normal”. I don’t think he’s thinking romance per se (yet), but I think he’s thinking “why the hell am i jealous?” “why is it weird to touch him?” “why am i so upset he never called me?” why do i want that painting so badly?” “why can’t i tell my girlfriend i thought i loved the three words she begged me to say?” To me, that is a very queer experience, but specifically a bi person who hasn’t quite realized that they’re bi yet. The confusion can be astounding at times, and emotions and reactions to things tend to be intense in a way that leaves you reeling. Or floundering in Mike’s case.

Idk these are just a lot of random thoughts, but I firmly believe that season 5 will address whatever is happening in Mike Wheeler’s brain regarding his true feelings for Will and El.

I also think that El already had an inkling of “why” Mike couldn’t say I love you. (And no it’s not because his parents didn’t show him how 🙄) And she’s slowly realizing in season 4 that “why” is her step-brother. I think that was made very obvious with the thought bubble imagery and how she was responding, or lack thereof to Mike in the monologue and back in Hawkins.

Miscellaneous thoughts about season 1: people must be thick in the head about Will if they think him being gay came out of nowhere. There are at least 10 instances of characters referencing that in conversations. And damn, if that Ted Wheeler comment, “you see Michael, you see what happens” wasn’t insinuating something. Mike misses it cause he’s too little, but any adult can see he’s saying, “you see what happens to queer kids?”

Then season 2 they spent the whole season building up how different and strong Mike and Will’s relationship was, and how Mike was there for Will no matter what. He was so unwavering in his love and support for Will. And in season 3, I think is when Will actively realized just how different he was and what his love for Mike actually meant, like he was looking it dead in the face in that season in a real, grown up way. And the person he realizes he loves is pushing him away and just not understanding him and what do you do when the person, that you’ve been told your whole life is unnatural, not “normal” to love, is constantly choosing another person over you. That they aren’t even able to make a friendship work let alone something you might daydream about. I’m probably repeating myself but the writers have made it very plain that Mike cannot for the life of him balance his time, attention or emotional availability between Will and El. And if season 3 didn’t make it painfully obvious that Will was having complicated feelings about Mike. Like yeah, they didn’t spell it out directly, but the fact that some people were like wow this whole Mike love thing for Will came out of nowhere??? Like are we watching the same show? I could see that on a first watch years ago.

[drowsystarlight]

Could you do for headcanons - 3 and 4 for your runner 5 ? :)

HIIII (immense sobbing) (I love them they’re my favorites)

Dynamic trio headcanons (Spoilers for s2 finale btw!)

Yyyep you read that right; 3 4 5, triple threat agency in my BRAIN!! I love to talk about 5am but i honestly feel like 345 would be the best trio in the runner pile! I also think they’re closer in age—somewhere from early twenties to mid-twenties. Idk their canon ages but both Jody and Simon sound around 23-25 to me, and my Five is 22-24.

Jody and Simon are polar opposites and Five is a sponge. Y’know how Simon is all mister Jokes and Funny guy while Jody is a lot more ohhh nooooo zombies brlughg? My Five is a recluse so I feel like this trio will only form in s2, after Sam finally gets through them after AVITD! But even then, my Five is selectively mute and has a hard time socializing, so they’re quiet and would listen to Jody and Simon bicker 95% of the time.

But you know Simon. He’s chatty and funny and always easy going; Five would hate it at the start but they’ll warm up to it eventually. I also think Simon is touchy and my Five is touch averse so they would REALLY hate to be around this guy at first. Jody is a lot more gentle and understanding in a sense. Sure, Five has a notorious record of ignoring everyone at their first few weeks in Abel (they are the type to leave you mid-conversation if you say or do something they don’t like), but Five has let Jody talk longer than everyone else. She’s really nice, y’know? Though Five hates feminine words/pronouns about them so as soon as Jody slips (not her fault though, since my Five hasn’t really communicated that they don’t like fem words), they leave.

Well, premise is that Five eventually joins conversations by being there. Bit by bit. In missions, and then inside Abel when they’re not all busy. Simon would totally swoop in and eat on Runner Five’s table at lunch/dinner to chat them up since he’d be so eager to get through them (bc really, how dare you ignore Simon?? LMAO?? He’s funny and COOL five cmon now get with the program!) In the first few tries, Five gets up and leaves. And then eventually they begrudgingly stay because Simon begs them to hear him out and that he just wants a fun little chat. They got off on the wrong foot but Five eventually happily sits there to hear him out—new song, new story, etc. Stories are fun and Simon is charming. Eventually, Jody joins in, and over time it becomes a little tradition to join Five when they’re alone and chat them up even if they don’t respond as much, or at all. When you’re someone with the reputation of leaving conversations, Jody appreciates their presence alone and Simon would joke about it. “Oh, Runner Five, could’ve told us you were mute and like gender neutral stuff y’know?” And then their bickering starts as soon as Jody swoops in to defend them.

When Five finally starts learning how to sign (thanks to Evan finding a sign language book and giving it to them so they could communicate better), they join the conversations bit by bit. Five can’t sign that fast yet but the two would wait them out before continuing. Five would reference past conversations and it turns out they’re a reservoir of information and memories and conversations. I bet Simon would use them as a backlog to win bets whatsoever. Jody would eventually teach them how to knit or sew 🥹🥹 and then she’d probably let them know how she thought Five was intimidating at first, and that it’s thanks to Sam for figuring out their hard edges so that she knows what to, or what not to, refer or talk to them with. Five likes to draw Jody and Simon chatting and bickering about (apart from all the other pages full of Sam ofc) but they don’t show this to them at all. Only Sam has seen the notebook. My Five is very shy about the drawings.

In missions together, like the whole whack-a-mole thing (s2 side missions), Simon and Five will UNFORTUNATELY do their best to beat the current highscore. Jody would be the one sensible mf who holds the single braincell in the trio but she eventually joins them “Just so they’d be done faster”.

Simon would be the one to call out Five’s specific interest towards Sam and Jody will be the one to hypothesize if it’s a crush or more. The both of them are their best wingmen—with Simon eventually branching out to poking Sam to make a move and Jody taking Five away for private advice and some tips on Sam Yao’s likes and dislikes. Hell, she might also teach them how to sew a new hoodie, or knit a cute little beanie for cold days or nights.

Five’s first words to Jody is something like “you’re a good person”, and it just comes out randomly. Maybe while sewing together somewhere private.

Five’s first words to Simon isn’t really a sentence—it’s just a full-on laughter fit. And then they tell him he’s ridiculous. This is the first time Five would’ve laughed (apart from light giggles within Sam’s presence and jokes).

When Simon turns out to be the traitor, Five takes it really hard. They did find a friend in him and is 100% sure he was coerced into betraying Abel. They’re also empathetic with his decision but that’s overshadowed with anger—towards Van Ark, the apocalypse, Simon himself. If they had the option to talk to Simon when Jamie confronted him, they’d ask him—verbally—why. They’d want to hear him out no matter how long it takes. They’d stay there and just absorb his side of the ordeal. But Five isn’t good at regulating wrath so regardless of what he says, they might also be the one to beat up Simon into a pulp instead of Jamie—and then give him a weapon as a final “I care about you, but you fucked everything up and I can’t trust you anymore.” Then leave him out there like Jamie did. The key difference is that Jamie did it for Archie’s sake and revenge; Five would do it for their own feelings and to relieve the frustration feel. The other half of that murky feeling goes into exploding Van Ark’a last chopper down.

[slytherinshua]

Hi there! I just read your So Mun docs bc I was scouring on tumblr to see if anyone has written anything for The Uncanny Counter because I’m so hooked and there is nothing anywhere it’s literally just you carrying this fandom’s writings on your back. I have a request and it might sound stupid so you can delete it or not write it, anyways could you write a fic of either So Mun meeting or dating reader who is like Spiderwoman? She isn’t a counter or anything just someone taking care of criminals, (she has the iron spider suit from that is shown in No Way Home worn by Tom Holland’s Spider-Man bc that suit is so cool with the spider legs anyways) The reader spots the counters beating up an evil spirit and thinking it’s a criminal joins in on the fight with her webs and webs up the evil spirit for them (she has webbing, supper strength and ‘spider senses’ just like Peter’s in the Spider-Man films) and the counters are just like ‘???who are you and how did you do that???’ and like maybe while fighting non spirit fights she joins the counters as well sometimes on fights or if they need her (she hasn’t shown her face to them yet idk where you wanna do that in the fic) and you can take it from there about what happens between her and So Mun or how he sees her face for the first time etc again if this sounds dumb you don’t need to write it but I just wanted to get the idea out of my head haha🫶🏻🫶🏻

oh my god????? OH MY GOD??? I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! im a big fan of spiderman even tho i haven't watched any of those movies i read sm peter parker fanfic and know the plots of basically all the tom holland spiderman movies (ive ever written a spiderman au for beomgyu cause it is my fav superhero to brainstorm with). i'm def def gonna write this i think its such a fun idea and the idea of like superheroes being in the same universe as counters is so cool!!! i just wanted to respond immediately and let you know that i love the idea since u seemed uncertain :( but its such a great idea and i can't wait to write since im rly hooked on writing a lot of so mun fics rn!! (i hope ppl don't mind but i am quite literally like you said, feeding the entire fandom and i am the ONLY one 😭 but i like doing it and i just hope my fics are good enough to satisfy everyone <33) thank you so much for the req and hopefully i can write it and put it out asap!!!

[absolutesort]

day 28 — frankie & dylan.

setting :    living room  /   casa amor.

time :  idk sometime in the afternoon but obviously before the big game. 

featuring :    dylan, her best friend in the world, dont hate her  @cruelsxmmcr​

dylan.

he had noticed frankie rushing inside after the whole race and consequent naked laps, but with adela following her first, he figured he’d check up on her later. he sits next to her, bumping his shoulder to hers. “not going to lie, i never thought we’d streak together.” or with josh and val. but frankie and josh is the most shocking of it all. “day one’s not over yet and it’s already crazy.” he’s very rarely the type to want alone time, but after everything, he doesn’t mind some quiet time right now. 

frankie.

“really?” frankie responds, a bubble of bright blue gum snapping back against her lips. “that’s funny. i’ve always dreamed of streaking with you. it’s like the number one fun bonding activity for future inlaws. maybe callie and naomi are doing it in the other villa, too.” smirking, she shoves her shoulder back against his, then drops her weight back against the sofa cushions, legs lifting to tuck over his lap. “tell me about it. i’m wiped.” yawning, she tucks her head into one of the cushions, curling up like a cat. “y’wanna take a nap with me?” frankie asks, foot kicking against dylan’s thigh. “i’m a really good big spoon. and a little one. i just like spooning, really.” half-asleep, she blows another bubble of gum, only opening her eyes to see how large it’s gotten. 

dylan.

he lets out a loud laugh at her words. “you dreamed a little too hard, i reckon, but hey, your dreams just came true. true, we’re now bonded on a much deeper level.” he looks at her with a dimpled grin, moving to rest his arms over her legs. “oh yeah, mate, i’d kill for a nap right now. i need to be able to last through tonight.” he reaches to pop the bubble. “oops.” he grins. “okay, i’m the big spoon, you’re the little spoon. with arms like these, i give the best hugs and cuddles.”

frankie. 

"wow,“ frankie responds, astonished when dylan pops her bubble. "that’s like… dirty.” or at least it feels it somehow, swallowing the gum as he nestles in behind her for a nap. she wonders how much gum she’s swallowed in her life — whether it’s really all that bad or if, when she eventually kicks it, the coroner will cut her open like a pinata to find putty sculptures coating the inside of her lungs in a bright kaleidoscope of colour.  "i told miles you have dwayne the rock johnson arms…“ frankie muses, tiredly, as she tugs one of his arms over her waist, wriggling to get comfortable. "it sucks that we can’t just share a bed later. will you read me a bedtime story?” even though it’s 4pm, and the evening’s entertainment hasn’t even begun. she trusts that someone will wake them in time, and she’ll throw on a sequin boob tube, throw her hair in a bun, apply some lipstick in about five seconds flat and call it a day.

dylan.

"you lost the race and made me run around the villa naked, so i pop your gum bubble,“ he says like he’s retaliating, playfully narrowing his eyes at her before he lies down behind her. he’s so tired he’ll probably be out within the next ten minutes. he needs that nap if has to be his usual cheery self tonight, especially since there’s definitely going to be entertainment. "hell yeah, my arms being compared to the rock’s? that’s a grade A compliment.” he only wishes he can have the rock’s physique. his arm goes around the blonde’s waist, pulling her closer to him in a comforting cuddle. “mate, i know. i’m salty about that.” it’s like the producers are setting these rules with the sole purpose of tempting them to fuck up. he’ll probably end up sleeping outside, else he would’ve shared a bed with frankie if he could. “you want an australian tale?” he remembers a lot of them, all dating back to the days his grandparents would read him and callie stories as kids.

frankie.

eyes half-shut, her focus on the world is slipping, as if somebody had cranked up the dimmer switch. “i’ve got your gross germs in my mouth until i die, now,” she sighs, the only weight behind it being the vague desire to wind him up. she’s probably the least likely person in this villa to care about germs, a strident believer in the thirty-second rule when a sandwich hits the floor, licker of anything sticky she comes across and a serial minesweeper for abandoned drinks in clubs. “yeah. obviously. i’m great at compliments.” her hand fastens over dylan’s when he draws her closer, nuzzling into the warm contact. if one of their new roommates walked in right now, they might get the wrong impression, which probably wouldn’t help either of their chances at getting to know the bombshells ( a good thing, depending on who you asked ). still, it would be funny to fuck with them. frankie almost suggests as much, but she’s too tired for planning the mechanics of half-baked ploys right now, safe and sleepy in the comfort of dylan’s arms. “yeah, why not. does it have spiders? i love those freaky little fuckers.”

dylan.

"you’ll be fine. you like picking noses for dares, apparently,“ he retorts, a smile curving up his lips, although she can’t see it. he’s already shut his eyes and pretty much disconnected from everything happening around him, save for the conversation he’s happening with frankie. after having to hear four people tell him he’s made out a fool, all he wants is to think of something else. "spend one day with me and callie over there and you’ll meet like five different kinds. you’ll befriend them right away,” he says, keeping frankie close to him, arms tight. “i don’t think there’s a tale about spiders. there are ones about wombats, emus, and possums though.”

[chryzure-archive]

AU rant AU rant AU RANT tell me about the Chrysijacks AU that came to mind once you finished reading this ask 👀

OKAY SO THIS IS KINDA HARD TO EXPLAIN, BUT!!! i’ve been playing with chrysi and jacks being childhood….. acquaintances, at the very least. they weren’t rlly friendly to each other, so i wouldn’t describe them as friends, but they sure did spend a lot of time together.

jacks was a new fate that was made by ???? idk, it’s just like he was born a fate (versus the actual canon, where i think he was made a fate as a young man… regretfully, i can only have this confirmed via the new book…. :(( but at least i get new jacks info from it) and chrysi’s fate-adjacent. since they’re close to each other’s age, they were engaged since they were young. mistress luck acts as jacks’s guardian—she’s overlooking his development into a full-grown fate—and she encourages all the fights between jacks and chrysi, since she thinks it will help develop jacks’s cruelty and ruthlessness. she doesn’t like that he’s the prince of hearts, because she thinks that’ll make him a weak fate.

anyway, you’d think the kid that’s a fate causes the most trouble. nope! chrysi gets jacks into a lot of trouble—but since she’s not a fate, and since she’s a charming little kid, she always has jacks take the fall for whatever chaos she causes. this clearly pisses jacks off quite a bit, so when they’re kids, there are many times where they get into a scuffle. (just to be clear, jacks didn’t start the scuffle at all!! he just will complain / be mean to chrysi, and she’ll respond by fucking launching herself at him and biting and kicking. jacks calls her a feral girl-thing instead of her name because of it.)

ACTUALLY, HERE’S SOMETHING THAT DEMONSTRATES HOW ALL THAT CHILDHOOD STUFF WORKS:

((disregard the way it’s formatted—i use writebox so i don’t have distractions and i don’t both to use italics))

anywayyyy, this continues until they’re abt 14—both of their families keep shoving them together, despite the continuous disastrous results—before chrysi’s shipped off elsewhere for a more “well-rounded” education (which is rlly code for her older sister trying to cover up a scandal of chrysi’s. she wants chrysi to come back a proper young girl.)

before she goes, however, she and jacks make a deal where they’ll happily break off their engagement if the other finds someone else to get married to. jacks leaps on this deal, since um. chrysi’s been tormenting him for years. find someone else? hell yeah, of course he’ll do that.

tiny detail jacks forgot: his kiss kills ppl. he actually never tested it on chrysi before, but i think his hope was that if their engagement ever went through, he’d kill chrysi with his kiss at the wedding.

and so jacks becomes notorious for burning through fiancées while chrysi’s off “learning” (little did nessa know that chrysi’s now hanging out in graveyards unattended—she became friends with many a ghost in the meantime 🥰—and hunting ghouls and the like).

by the time they reunite at the age of 22, both of them have been largely unsuccessful with finding someone to marry them. chrysi fell in love with a boy that, uh, did not like her fate-adjacent powers (more on that later), and so she’s not so happy about talking about fiancés, and jacks has. killed all of his. some on accident, some on purpose.

they both aren’t happy with the situation.

jacks doesn’t even know chrysi’s back from her “education” until she’s at one of his parties. he’s courting tella, turns a corner, and almost fucking screams when he sees chrysi hanging out, holding one of his special apples. she thinks it’s very funny.

actually, he doesn’t recognize her at first either 😭 he’s flirting with her (or threatening her. you can never tell with him), much to her amusement. eventually jacks catches on, and he’s horrified that he didn’t recognize her.

they’re both irritated that the other hasn’t found anyone yet (jacks could’ve sworn chrysi would succeeded in seducing that tris boy. chrysi immediately shuts that down, and jacks is suddenly concerned he’s going to be bitten by chrysi again), so they SUPER promise that they’ll find a way to break off their engagement.

SO. A LOT OF STUFF STARTS GOING DOWN. because jacks is doing his jacks thing—scheming for… what purpose? his own amusement? okay—and chrysi’s hiding things from him. which isn’t new, but it bothers jacks a lot more now, for a reason he can’t quite put his finger on.

ANYWAY, TURNS OUT that while chrysi was away, she started to develop powers similar to jacks—but rather than use love to her advantage, it’s fear. chrysi’s disgusted with herself for being able to do this. it terrified tris (for supernatural reasons and for normal reasons) and that’s why he broke up with her. and in addition to that, chrysi got the attention of a certain elias bloom. so she’s been dealing with a stalker and her new horrifying powers.

so jacks has his whole attempt of an engagement with tella, he’s worrying abt chrysi at the same time (but he swears he’s not actually worried about her), and chrysi’s dealing with the fact that she might be turning a little more into a fate than simply remaining “fate-adjacent”.

i don’t rlly have anything planned for right here, tbh. my thoughts pick up where jacks realizes he’s actually in love with chrysi, BUT APPARENTLY stalker elias bloom finds a way to break off jacks’s and chrysi’s engagement by getting engaged to chrysi (?? chrysi didn’t agree to it, so jacks is even more confused—since she’ll make it very clear that she only does what she wants to do). jacks immediately starts scheming (w a purpose this time!!) and yeah!!! yeah. idk where this is going BUT I WANT ELIAS TO TRAP JACKS IN A CARD AGAIN 🖤🖤🖤

mostly i wanted to explore jacks being a kid, so the most i have planned is the kid stuff 🥰

[cryinglolol]

haven’t been on here in months but just needed to rant. i actually fucking hate it when my friend leaves me on read bc i genuinely can’t tell whether it is because she started hating me or if it’s bc she’s busy and can’t respond right away. it has happened a few times before and while yes, sometimes it’s simply bc she’s busy, other times it’s bc she’s mad. it just puts me on the edge u know, i can’t relax, i keep checking whether she’s texted me back yet or still hasn’t. and i know that if i ever left her on read, she’d get mad at me, asking me why i would do that. and i know that for a fact bc i’ve done it once accidentally and when i realized i hastily gave a reasonable explanation but she was still mad. i just wish she wouldn’t do that, bc i will always automatically think someone hates me before believing there’s some other explanation and it just makes me spiral. idk it just sucks, i hate it and i know this is dramatic but honestly idrc.

[edzasks]

Jules! Sending you hugs! Please eat some yummy, nutritious food! If you need to vent, vent. I care about you and how you are doing.

It’s so dumb. Basically I was talking to this one person (mind you, it’s a chick btw — I’m sticking to men ONLY forevermore after this), basically chick I knew briefly last year, but got to know her these 2 months started hardcore love bombing me, chasing me, pursuing me, etc. We end up getting very close, very quickly, and genuinely she was the most awesome person to talk to.

Then I started liking her and she felt it was mutual, but mind you it was heavy love bombing, and funny enough I always knew I was being gassed up too quickly, if someone is ‘too nice’ and fast pacing; never believe them, but instead of being guarded and isolated like I typically proceed nonchalant, I decided to be open cause I trusted them as a friend.

Then near the end (Halloween) she switched up, she starts ignoring my msgs, and being cold & distant. This is where the chess games started coming in.

And I, a very fucking mellow very low maintenance person - MIND YOU … Started to feel like I was going losing my mind, actually no I was genuinely so ticked by this I was convinced I was a crazy person (no!) While she was playing these games and discarding me. Alexa play Dear John…

Then since I felt like she was playing games, I played dumb and pretended I no longer felt for her, in response she told me she “didn’t find anyone else” then hours later lies telling me; she had “replaced me” and found someone else.

Despite mine you, weeks ago obsessing over me, love bombing me heavily, making bold statements like she wants me and only me, etc, showing me screenshots of fwbs she apparently cut off for me, bunch of gassing up bs.

In the end (basically) to summarise I feel like absolute shit, and being discarded like I’m nothing and all the games f’d with my head, and the sad part is I am good at seeing this shit but I ignored the 🚩flags (knew it months ago this would happen to) because I decided to be blind… Ironically anyone into tarot reading too the cards pulled about the scenario too said fraud, bad energy, bad, bad, bad to the point where the reader needed a deck cleanse and run too. 🫠

Blocked her off basically everything now, and she was still flip flopping when I told her to lose my #, and she’s like “why is there so much drama?” (when I just told her cause she won’t communicate just silent treatment) Then seemed bothered that I was running away since she said “always running and disappearing” (yup!! Saved me from ppl like that!!)

But I ran.

I didn’t like her comment either about how she “needs to heal” (instead of being w someone) yet wants to “see where it goes” w me (as if I’m a side hoe)… lbr … until someone better comes along 🤣 and the whole time I’ve been replaced. Which contradicts her bs, and lie.

It’s a long rant, but I think they have NPD, so I was victim to a narcissist basically.

Lot of gaslighting too trying to say it’s a waste of time (or I am) cause she stopped believing I was bi, or w.e. It’s all manipulation imo & punishment. And saying shit like I shouldn’t be mad. No empathy, just games. When I first deleted her she said she’d give me space, and when I apologised steering clear of maybe she isn’t a narc, she took hours to respond with her shady “ok” … Despite her offering me space (lol)…

I didn’t like either how she lied about one of her friends being her fuck buddy (reality is, that chick has a bf) just constant … lies.

I have no interesting in dating again, and I’m happily gonna go back to being me, myself & I and my emotional unavailability comfort zone because ppl these days are the worst. I don’t need someone to be happy tbh. I’m fine on my own.

I think she still follows me on Spotify / twitter idk why she hasn’t unfollowed me on everything else yet 🤷‍♀️ but the audacity too that she had to ask why I deleted her off snap. 🙄

Like… I just feel sick to my stomach basically it’s hard to eat because the distress (to shortly summarise this) and I feel like a moron, and not good enough.

[princessjules510]

Okay so no one sought out my desperation in my last post but that’s fine. I’ll reblog it after this so you guys (nonexistent people) can catch up but the gist is that my bsf of five years hasn’t been very communicative w me abt making plans but she’s able to make plans w this other person who I’ve expressed my dislike to her. Anyways A LOT HAPPENED SO BUCKLE UP.

So over the summer we have texted periodically and she texted me one night saying she had to tell me something. I had been asleep so when I read the message in the morning I was freaking out cause I was like omg this is the most I’ve gotten out of her. For once she’s texting me first. So ofc I start spamming her, wondering what it is. And she texts later saying she’s in a relationship. I am in shock. This is the last thing I would expect for her to say. Idk I guess it’s just surreal when you both complain abt how you want partners and then once one of you has one it’s like… hello? The complaints were a joke??

But anyways, I’m like omg who is it, have you kissed yet, what was the first date like, HAVE YOU DONE THE DEED?? She didn’t answer any of those questions and just laughed. But ig I didn’t care abt those answers bc she tells me THAT I KNOW THEM. So I’m confused cause we’ve talked abt how much we hate everyone at school (I’m still in high school) and that we would never date anyone there. As I’m thinking, one moment pops into my head. The person that I don’t like jokingly but not really admitted to having feelings for my friend, so I was like no. Like, it can’t be.

So I’m like, “is it ___?” And she starts laughing, avoiding the question. And I know I have my answer. Now I’m in even more shock cause what???? Like you never expressed any kind of romantic feelings towards them. What is going on. Did fucking he’ll freeze over? So now I’m a little pissed cause like, out of every person at school? Them? Really? And I’ll admit I was kind of a dick. I only responded w “ok” and left it at that. But the next day I apologized and told her I was happy for her and that she was in a relationship now cause what the fuck. Life isn’t real atm.

So after all of that a couple weeks later I wanted to be able to hangout w her before school started. I asked her if she was free that weekend and she said yes. I told her a DATE AND TIME and she CONFIRMED SHE WAS AVAILABLE. Of-fucking-course the day of she’s like “oh I forgot to tell you that my dad wants to take me to Worlds of Fun tonight” and I was like oh okay that’s fine cause night isn’t until like 8 so we have plenty of time. And she was like “oh not night sorry I meant around 2 or 3.” 2 OR 3?? GIRL WHAT. HOW DO YOU THINK OF 2 IN THE AFTERNOON AND SAY “oh that’s night definitely.” Like sis… look outside.

SO LIKE A GOOD FUCKING FRIEND I WORK AROUND IT. I was like “that’s fine you can come over early like 11.” AND THE BITCH SAYS “my dad wants to make me breakfast in the morning.”

…

What. The. Fuck.

Breakfast. In the morning.

IS THIS YOIR DADS LAST DAY ALIVE OR SOMETHING? DOES HE NOT KNOW THAT HE COULD LITERALLY MAKE BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING OR HELL AT A DIFFERENT TIME IN THE DAY??? IVE HAD BREAKFAST FOR DINNER AND LET ME TELL YOU THERES NO DIFFERENT FEELING. Oh my god just relaying the info is making me livid.

I forgot to mention that the day before I was hanging out w another friend who’s also friends w my bsf. And she was talking abt how she kept texting her if she was free and how my bsf said she’ll “check her schedule” and then she never responds. Ig I should be grateful that she’s even telling me that she isn’t available rather than just ghosting me. Anyways, my other friend was also talking to me abt how she sees my bsf and the person I don’t like hanging out on their BeReal’s.

That set me off.

I was like how the fuck are you gonna say to me that you can’t hangout when YOU ARE HANGING OUT W A PERSON I DONT LIKE? And I understand. You want to be as close to your partner as you can be. You just got together. You’re being all lovey dovey. I would prob do the same thing too. But it’s the fact that she’s able to make time for THEM BUT NOT ME. And after she texted me abt how she couldn’t hangout THE DAY OF, she was talking abt how she’s trying to make things work and shit. Like after everything you got away w, I don’t believe anything you’re saying.

Me and my mom are like besties. So obviously she knows everything and she was like “you need to talk to her face to face” cause my mom caught me crying abt the situation. I was just excited to finally see her and then she pulls this shit, ofc I’m gonna be upset. Plus I was on my period so that didn’t help. But I was like you’re right and so I wrote some talking points down (if you haven’t done that before a confrontation or serious talk I recommend bc it’s very helpful) and texted her that we needed to talk. And she was like abt what and I was like our friendship and then she was like r we good and I was abt to say no we aren’t fucking good but I didn’t and said yeah.

So we were supposed to have dinner after practice (we’re both on the tennis team and GUESS WHO GOT ME TO PLAY: FUCKING HER) TODAY and I hadn’t heard anything from her so I asked before practice started if we were still going to dinner and she was like I couldn’t take off work. So that ruined my day and I literally did not want to look at her, speak to her, nothing.

Now, idk what to do. Because if I try to find another day where she’s free it’s just gonna drag it out longer to the point where it won’t even matter anymore. Part of me wants her to know how she’s made me feel. She really hurt my feelings on Saturday and I want her to know that. But at the same time, I’ve tried reaching out and trying to fix things, but she just won’t meet me halfway. I’m thinking that maybe she should be demoted to friend at school. I’m done wasting my time trying to hangout when I could be hanging out w other friends who are MORE THAN HAPPY to do stuff w me.

Lmk your guys’ thoughts cause I would like more input :)

[returntosaturn271995]

April 18th: Totally fricken’ pissed

Trying to be funny but today is absolute bullshit. There’s a child screaming nearby like the world is ending and I appreciate his honesty. 

Things that shouldn’t have me enraged but somehow have me insane 

1.  ChicExecs took my 10 page presentation and never emailed me back. I added a negative review to Glassdoor (among many already there) and somehow that just made me angrier?

2. My interview (the third one) with Diff Eyewear was disorganized and I felt like the execs were sexist despite reaching out to me on Linkedin. GOD. Job hunting is bleak. 

3. Marvelous Mrs. Maisel hasn’t been good since season 2

4. Pretty sure Effexor withdrawal gives me vivid nightmares and night sweats. 

5. Now that Scott’s back in Austin he never reached out again. Which is weird because he basically wanted to marry me before. I guess pussy power is about proximity.  

6. James hasn’t reached out since our date last week. After all the stuff he said about being in to me. Maybe he’s just a bad texter because he’s always been like that but still. Am I allowed to be angry? Why does this make me like him more when two weeks ago I wasn’t even sure if I was that crazy about him?

7. I got drunk and sent my college roommate a nice text wishing her well on her engagement. Ugh I’m lame. No, she did not respond. 

8. Kate’s had a dude here for two days straight and he keeps using my and Hannah’s bathroom. He goes through toilet paper at an alarming rate. He’s either buidling a mummy costume or Kate’s dating another dude who lives in his van. 

9. Kara Godfrey. She’s just a shitty friend. And she reminds me of a lot of shitty friends. So I project a lot of anger at the idea of her. Sara sent us both a text today, which was actually very sweet of her. I’ll try and focus on that.

10. Is it me? Why does it feel like it’s me? And why hasn’t therapy made me less annoying yet? I know I’m supposed to FEEL better, but I would sure love to be treated better and somehow deemed lovable. All this anger is more perceived rejection than anything else. So maybe it’s a good sign it pisses me off. Because honestly I’ve been working hard on myself goddamnit. I’m having my back here. 

11. I was pretty shitty at yoga today. Maybe I’ll give it another shot now that I’ve hopefully journaled a chunk of my crazy out. 

12. Once James messaged me and said “Why are you acting like a stranger?”. When he was the one who hadn’t reached out after our first date. 

13. I still haven’t made the goddamn smoothie I promised myself I would make. I bought the ingredients Saturday. Maybe I’ll put on a murder podcast and TRY. 

14. I was reading about Joe Biden and his first wife died in a horrible car crash right before Christmas that also took the life of his daughter.  Yes, it was 50 years ago. Yes, I already new about this. But now I’m downloading his autobiography and just lamenting the fact the BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE AND DONALD TRUMP GETS TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS.

15. Made the mistake of thinking too long on my walk home about a guy who took sexual advantage of me in college and realized that’s why I can’t stand soccer outside of a Ted Lasso episode. Idk why this is under the Mrs. Maisel season and yoga, but it is. 

[thelifeoflorna]

~23/6/2022~ I was hoping today would be a cooling off day, but it seems the heat has been replaced by high humidity, and if anything, my body has been in worse shape today. I went to sainsburys in the morning while H cleaned - online food shop order doesn't seem to get me through for as long as it used to. Quite liked walking round at a leisurely pace and eyeing up the bargains, also being able to pick out fruit for myself. Sat with headphones on and waited for H to pick me up while drafting a message to the mothership about the outcome of the police investigation as decided today is the day to do it. After dropping the shopping home, went to Sheffield Park for a walk - the shade of the trees was much appreciated. Then it seemed my stomach decided to choose today to flare. Probably an unwise decision, but decided as it was already flaring, I might as well have some of my raspberries. Had a chat with my current line manager about any reservations she might have had about me applying for one of the jobs I'm being interviewed for next week - tbh it was what I thought - she was purely concerned about the possible impact of the role on my wellbeing in light of my strong sense of justice, hyper-empathy, and integrity - all of which are likely to be frequently challenged and triggered - though she said she is not as concerned as she might have been before so idk - I knew whatever reservations she had were going to be in my best interests. I sent the message/s to my mum. Then distracted myself with probably a not so therapeutic task - responding to an email regarding the concerns I raised about a very negative experience I had with OH. Also sorted out an overdue council tax payment. Opted for supplement drink for dinner given the state of my gastro system. Joined autism women's group. Seen that my mum has now read my messages (hours ago) but hasn't replied as yet, which is making us continue to feel quite on edge. The hope is that if she's taking the time to process and think about things, when she does eventually reply, at least it is likely to be something more sensible/appropriate. But there is the fear that she won't respond at all, which given (continued...) (at Standen House, Saint Hill Green Nr East Grinstead) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfKUaEPq1a2AZnt4Zi2len_tJfv2_K1SmTgeSM0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=