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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

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What I Want Most - Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean’s life has been all work and no play lately. When Gabe, his friend, coerced him into tagging along to a club, he couldn’t say no as Gabe has been pestering him for a while now. What Dean didn’t expect was that he’d meet his match in that club in the form of a stunning woman with underlying daddy issues.

Warnings: Daddy kink, a smidge of angst, teasing

Word Count: 2875

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

“Please take a seat,”

Mrs. Mills shows Y/N where she should be sitting, and it’s right next to Dean.

Fuck.

She’s going to be the one competing with him?

This is ridiculous.

And in that moment, Dean just knows that he’s fucked.

He could easily handle another male competitor. Hell, he wouldn’t have any problems with female competitors either because they’re even easier to wrap around his fingers. But her?

Shit.

Dean wants to rub over his face so bad. Wants to pinch his eyes. Maybe they betray him? Maybe his mind only wants him to see what he really wishes to see.

This is a bad dream right? How is he supposed to be working with and against someone who he knows the taste of? Someone who he knows likes to be fucked hard and swallows his cum like it’s the best fucking thing? Someone who lets him come deep inside so she’d be dripping him for days?

Jesus.

Dean has to bite down on his bottom lip so as not to make a sound.

He just imagined her still dripping his cum. He shoved two loads deep inside that sweet cunt. The chances are high that she’s still leaking him.

His dick stirs uncomfortably at the image in his head. It also doesn’t help that he catches a whiff of her perfume when she walks past him. It intoxicates his brain.

She’s standing there right next to him and it feels so familiar, yet so painful.

“Mr. Winchester?”

Her voice penetrates his thoughts, jerks him back to reality and Dean scrambles himself out of his seat to stand up because that’s the correct thing to do, right? Fucking etiquette. If it was up to him he’d had her over his knees and spank the shit out of her for not telling him where her new workplace is.

Y/N’s holding out a hand for him to shake and he takes it, feeling the electric current traveling up his arm as soon as he touches her.

Call me daddy, he wants to say, but doesn’t. Instead, he forces out a smile, “Call me, Dean,”

“Right,” She says with a nod, “Dean. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,”

That’s something he really means and there’s just a brief moment of eye contact before she looks away, pulling her hand out of his grip. Too soon for his liking but he reacts fast, pulls up the chair for her to sit on.

“Thank you,” She smiles and Dean can read that. It’s one that says that she’s not entirely sure about Dean’s motives. Not sure if Dean is angry or not.

He’s not really angry if he thinks about it. At least not at her. At fate maybe, but she hasn’t done anything wrong.

They sit and listen to what the bosses have to say but Dean couldn’t concentrate. He watches her out of the corner of his eyes. Her business persona is very different from the playful baby girl that came on her daddy’s cock, came on Dean’s cock. But he likes the professionalism of her too. Like, she’s all tough and serious, is a fucking good girl indeed. She’s even taking fucking notes!

She’s really in for the win, and Dean wonders if he should tell them that he doesn’t even want the promotion that fucking much. But again, where’s the fun in that, right? Because yeah, it could be fun working with her, against her, over her, under her, buried deep inside of her, even though it would also be pure torture.

Finally, the bosses have stopped talking and disappear with the promise of sending them the schedule of their project support meetings for the weeks ahead.

However, Dean’s heart jumps when he sees her wanting to stand up and leave too, but then Mrs. Mills tells her to stay behind and get acquainted with Dean and he watches her sitting back down in her chair. Yeah, thank you very much for that, Mrs. Mills.

As soon as the bosses have gone, Dean stands up and the pushing back of his chair makes the metal screech along the floor. She squints.

“Jesus, Y/N!” He hisses as he walks the two steps to stand behind her, “Why didn’t you tell me where you’re going to be working?”

“Well,” She says but she doesn’t look up to him, instead she keeps her eyes trained on her notebook, “In my defense, I didn’t know, okay? I knew that it was a Dean but I didn’t know that it was going to be fucking you!”

He leans down, braces one of his hands on the back of her chair. His other one is on the table while he practically cages her in. From here her scent is even more alluring. It does things to him that he can’t even explain. Partly, it makes him want to eat her up alive.

Dean noses at her hair, inhales deeply, doesn’t care if she thinks he’s a freak because let's be honest here, they’re both fucking nasty and he thinks that they’ve established that.

“Why did you leave without a word?” He asks in a low voice.

She goes still, doesn’t even breathe as far as he can tell.

Slowly, she tilts her head around and their noses almost touch. It would be easy, so easy for him to kiss her but he doesn’t. Instead, he stares her down but he wasn’t prepared that she’d stare back.

God, she looks absolutely gorgeous. His dick twitches in his pants because his dick fucking remembers.

“I didn’t think it was more than a one night stand, Dean,”

“Well, it probably wouldn’t have been if you wouldn’t have left.”

He can’t believe his own words. But it’s the truth. The girls he takes home are never more than a one night stand and yet, he can’t explain why he thinks that she is more than that. Can’t explain why his cock, his body, his mind, his fucking heart wants her so much. He might also sound like he’s hurt and maybe he is. And it’s not even her fault. Dean should have made himself clearer after he tucked her into bed but he was just fucking exhausted and by the way she was too, he thought that she’d sleep longer than he would.

“What would you have done, Dean?” She asks, her voice a whisper because they’re still so close, “I don’t think any good would have come of it if I had I stayed.”

“I don’t know,” He shakes his head. His mind raced at the question. Yeah, what would he have done?

He grins, “I would have maybe fucked you again, because goddamnit, I can not forget how your sweet cunt clenched around my fat cock,”

Y/N’s tongue darts out, wets her lips and Dean replicates it.

“Dean,”

“I just knew that it wasn’t a one time thing for me, okay? I knew right before I fell asleep that I wanted to see you again. There was hope in my fucking heart that I would get to make you come again. I hoped that I would fucking see you again. I fucking hoped that you’d still be there when I woke up, that you would let me treat you right, that you’d fucking let me bring you home, take you out, the whole shebang,”

“It wasn’t just a one night stand for you?”

“No!” He’s still leaning close and smashed his fist on the table, making her flinch, “Jesus Christ! I thought I just said that?”

“You mean you want to carry on with the fling?”

“It’s not just a fl—” He lowers his head, rests his forehead on her shoulder, “God, you know what? Forget it… but yeah, I want to carry on. More than anything,” He mumbles.

“But—”

“Yeah,” He huffs out, “This is going to be hard,”

“We’re adults, we should be able to work together.” She whispers softly. Too soft, and he can hear it, can hear the longing she has because he feels fucking same.

“Should we?” He asks, just to make sure. Adulting seems to be fucking hard right now.

“Yeah,”

“Goddammit,” Dean curses under his breath, “Do you know how hard it is for me to pretend nothing happened? How hard it is to fucking pretend that I don’t want to bend you over the next surface and fuck you senseless? Do you have any idea how all I want right now is to feel your sweet pussy around my dick again and I had to fucking jerk myself off last night with the image of you on top of me and hearing you call me daddy over and over again?”

“You did?” There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Yeah,” He frowns, but he chuckles afterward.

“How hard is it?” She asks, raises one eyebrow at him. She looks absolutely cocky.

“Jesus,” Dean growls, and it’s time, he can’t hold himself back anymore. He moves forward, catches her lips. The familiar feeling is there again, the way she presses closer, the way she fucking lets him kiss her. He breaks the kiss only to murmur “So fucking hard, baby girl,” against her lips.

She laughs, and Dean doesn’t really want to part from that sweet fucking mouth, but he knows that he has to. They’re at work for god’s sake. Reluctantly, he pulls himself off her but not before he pulls her bottom lip between his, gives them a little suck and a bite, just to hear her moan against his mouth.

Somehow, they have managed to agree that it’s work first and play later. It doesn’t help that while the bosses see how she’ll be holding up, they just put another desk into Dean’s office. So now, they are sharing offices too.

It doesn’t help her sanity, to be honest, but apparently, she’s been holding up better than he does. Dean has been avoiding her since the meeting, doesn’t want to be too close, and she knows the reason why and it’s really amusing to her.

In the afternoon, Y/N’s working on a project while Dean was at a meeting and she needed binders from the shelf, so she took off her shoes and rolled her chair to the bookshelf to get to the top one.

Pulling out one binder, she rifles through it to see if the numbers she needs are in there when Dean walks in.

He was so quick to be by her side, holding her chair for her while balancing his laptop in his other hand and he curses under his breath, “Jesus, Y/N, that’s not fucking safe. Next time take a chair without wheels, okay?”

It’s really cute how he cares, she can’t lie about that. But she wouldn’t be who she is if she didn’t find things to rile him up.

“Yes, daddy,” She whispers with that grin that’s more than mischievous and he groans audibly while he rolls his eyes to the back of his head.

He’s faking annoyance but he’s not letting go of that chair she’s standing on, holding it for her and she thinks he takes the opportunity to look at her ass too because, when she finishes, he turns away, taking wide strides to his desk and maybe she’s wrong but his legs were bowed more than they usually are.

It’s only late afternoon now, and she’s working across from him. She’s distracted while she reads over the schedule they just sent her.

Oh god. There it is. The warm feeling of something running out of her.

It’s Dean’s cum.

And even though she cleaned herself thoroughly it still keeps leaking out. Just how much did he come? Seriously.

“Did you get the schedule?” Dean asks from behind his monitor.

“Yeah,” She almost squeals because of the warm feeling, and now his cum is pooled in her panties.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,”

Dean gets suspicious, stands up behind his desk to peak over, “You sure?”

“It’s nothing you want to know,” She mumbles, her hands going over the mouse to open up her schedule.

“Why do you think I don’t want to know?” He asks and now he’s walking around his desk to come stand next to her. He’s at least semi-hard because his pants are bulging. She can see it even better when he’s not wearing his suit jacket. Well, to be fair, that thing is hard not to notice.

“Because,” She states, “It’s not going to help you,”

“Well, there’s obviously something that makes you feel uncomfortable and if it’s me, I need to know,”

“Dean, stop!” She groans, “Your cum just leaked out of me, okay? It’s nothing. Are you happy now that you know it?”

He rubs a hand over his face, the scruff sounds loud in the otherwise quiet office, “Jesus, this is torture! I can not fucking work like this!” He throws his hands in the air and shakes his head and turns 360° around for the dramatic effect.

Y/N cocks an eyebrow and shrugs, “You wanted to know,”

Dean leans down then, one hand cups her face, thumb brushing over her cheek, “I know, I’m sorry, baby,” He kisses her, teeth nibbling along her lip, just a little, not even long enough but it already leaves her wanting more, “You’re making this really hard for me,”

Chuckling, she cocks an eyebrow at him, “How hard?”

A groan leaves his lips, “You’re a bratty little thing, ain’t you?”

She shrugs.

“One day, I’m gonna spank you raw,” Dean says as he turns around to walk back to his desk.

“Don’t promise what you can’t keep... daddy,” She calls after him and there’s another groan when he lets his weight help him to flop down into his chair.

Dean left earlier than her. Well, it wasn’t exactly early as it’s now 7.00 PM and she still has her presentation open which she is going to hold on Wednesday morning. It will be her first presentation before a bigger audience. Not really the big bosses but some who will attend are at least a level higher than her. She really wants to make it right, but also she knows that there’s no forcing it. Her head hurts from all the numbers she tries to put on the presentation and maybe Dean’s right, maybe she needs a distraction. Tomorrow will be another day.

By 7.45 PM she reaches home. Well, the apartment looks pretty sad to be honest. She didn’t have the energy to do a lot of unpacking and there are still boxes standing around. And well, Dean said that he hated the way she left, but what he doesn’t know is that she hated it too. She just thought it was the best for both of them.

It was particularly hard to have left because it seemed like they have so much in common. It might be weird because they didn’t spend a lot of time getting to know each other and the majority of that time was spent fucking but sometimes, when it clicks, it just does and you know it. And with Dean, there was that level of familiarity when she first saw him. Something she hasn't encountered in a very long time.

Y/N takes her heels off by the door, shedding clothing on her way to the bathroom in desperate need of a shower. It’s to clean herself, but also to cool herself down. The day has been a roller coaster ride and even though Dean had a harder time to conceal his emotions, she can’t lie that it was easy for her either. She was constantly leaking throughout the day, sometimes more, sometimes less. And then there’s Dean who occasionally comes so close to her from behind and she has automatically gotten wetter from the feeling of his firm body pressed against hers. Taking off her panties in the bathroom, she takes a look at her crotch. They are truly ruined. It’s white and sticky and still damp.

After the shower, she walks out with her hair still wet and a towel around her body, and even though she knows that she should leave work behind, she can’t really help but to check her phone to see if there has been an email. Maybe there’s something that she’s forgotten to do today, maybe someone is still waiting for an answer to their question. People seldom stop working once they leave the office in the financial world. Yet, it’s a world she chose to be in and she has gotten used to it.

As soon as she lights up the screen of her phone to look at it, she has to grin. There are no emails but there are texts from a number she doesn’t recognize.

Thumbing over her screen, she opens them up.

Oh, no.

How did he get her number?

Instead of being upset, though, she can’t help but grin.

D: Here’s the thing, baby girl

D: I want you to pack the things you need for work tomorrow and come by asap

D: Don’t wear pants. Wear a skirt, no underwear

Chapter Three

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

#what i want most #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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kingandfireheart · 3 years

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What stories are left in ACOTAR: Elain edition

It is likely that the next installment of the ACOTAR series will cover Elain Archeron. Elain is probably the least developed character of the Inner Circle, and the only character (other than Amren and Lucien) whose perspective we haven’t seen yet. This post details her trauma, the issue of choice, Elain’s personality, the sweet innocent Elain image, and her various roles.

Elain will definitely have to face her past trauma, which include:

Graysen: grief, feeling of betrayal

The Cauldron and being kidnapped: trauma, feeling violated, becoming high fae

Her father: grief

Sisters: having a role in the Night Court, belonging there, being protected

Choices:

Before I get into Elain’s role, I want to talk about a huge thing for Elain, which is choice. Rhysand spends ACOMAF and ACOWAR showing Feyre that she always has choices. Nesta struggles with this in ACOSF, and while Nesta does make choices to be more active - she kills the Kelpie, saves Feyre, saves her friends, she choses Cassian, and kills Briallyn.

“I am not a thing to be controlled by you”, Nesta said icily. Everything in her life, from the moment she was born, had been controlled by other people. Things happened to her; anytime she tried to exert control, she’d been thwarted at every turn -- and she hated that even more than the King of Hybern.

Elain, who has suffered much of the same trauma as Nesta, will make her own choices in her book. Those choices will involve who she ends up with (I refuse to get into the Elucien/Elriel debacle here - I like both!), how she wields her power (as a seer, as high fae, as a Made person, as the Cauldron’s favorite, as a political pawn), and what she makes of the situations that happened to her.

Elain has already shown that she can make good on a bad situation in ACOWAR, I’m excited to see how she keeps that up in her book:

“This could end very badly, Elain.” // She brushed her thumb over the iron-and-diamond engagement ring. “It’s already ended badly. Now it’s just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences.” (ACOWAR)

“I know your circumstances for coming here were awful, Nesta, but it doesn’t mean you need to be so miserable about it.” (ACOSF)

Sweet Innocent Elain:

Elain’s persona in the Inner Circle is a sweet and innocent girl. She loves gardening and cooking. She is kind and cares about things like manners and propriety. Here are a few quotes that show that:

Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind. She had been always so full of light. (ACOWAR)

“You’re still lovely,” Mor said a bit gently. Elain offered a half smile. “I suppose that war makes wanting things like that unimportant.”Mor was quiet for a heartbeat. “Perhaps. But you should not let war steal it from you regardless.” (ACOWAR)

“What now?” Elain mused, at last answering my question from moments ago as her attention drifted to the windows facing the sunny street. That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room. “I would like to build a garden,” she declared. “After all of this … I think the world needs more gardens.” (ACOWAR)

“I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.” “With time and safety, perhaps we’ll see a different side of her emerge.”(ACOSF Bonus Chapter)

We know that there is a lot more to Elain than anyone gives her credit for - Cassian, Amren, Rhys, and even Nesta point this out on different occasions in ACOSF:

Cassian: “Nesta was wrong to think Elain as loyal and loving as a dog. Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.”

Amren: “Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Rhys: “I also think we haven’t seen all she has to offer. “Don’t forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one’s hands dirty along the way” “And torn up by thorns”

Nesta: “Elain stiffened, but refused to balk from whatever she beheld in Nesta’s gaze. “You think I’m to blame for his death? Challenge laced each word. Challenge - from Elain of all people.

We also see Elain starting to take back her power in ACOSF when she steps up to look for the Dread Trove

“You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta.”

“You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“I am not a child to be fought over”

“I went into the Cauldron too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of it what my trauma did to you.”

Elain’s Roles:

Sister: Elain has long been a mediator between Nesta and Feyre. She is the calmness that complements each of their fire, she is the one they each seek to protect. (I’m thinking of SJM’s fire/ice/stone metaphor for Manon, Asterin, and Sorrel). However, she is able to fight for what she wants with each of them, and use her skills to her advantage. Elain shows Feyre her remorse for the years when they are poor, which is why Elain and Nesta step up to help with the Mortal Queens.

“Feyre gave and gave—for years. Let us now help her. Help … others.” (ACOMAF)

“And as for Feyre’s hunting during those years, it was not Nesta’s neglect alone that is to blame. We were scared, and had received no training, and everything had been taken, and we failed her. Both of us.” (ACOMAF)

Sweet, innocent Elain who vomited from the violence on the battlefields, who recoiled from Cassian’s weapons, does show that she is willing to fight for her sisters.

Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

Seer: Elain seemed to gain clarity once she realized what she was seeing. She says she can control her Seer talk, and actually uses this power to help Feyre find the Suriel in ACOWAR, and offers to do the same with the Dread Trove. It isn’t clear if Elain’s refusal to acknowledge her powers stems from fear, lack of acceptance, or just the fact that she needed to be normal before she can embrace her new life.

“Are you asking me that as her sister, or as a seer?” (ACOFAS)

“Then I will find it. I might require some time to ... reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” (ACOSF)

Made and Cauldron’s Favorite: Just like Nesta and Feyre, Elain is Made. All of the Like Calls to Like logic that applies to Feyre in ACOMAF with the Cauldron and the Book of Breathings and Nesta in ACOSF with the Dread Trove applies to Elain. Now that Nesta’s power is limited, Elain may have to step up and use her power to help find the fourth Dread Trove item or with a new Cauldron-related task. The big distinguishing factor here is that the Cauldron likes Elain.

The Cauldron purred in Elain’s presence as the King of Hybern slumped to his knees, clawing at the knife jutting through his throat. Elain backed away a step.

The Cauldron seemed to realize what she’d done, too, as his head thumped onto the mossy ground. That Elain … Elain had defended this thief. Elain, who it had gifted with such powers, found her so lovely it had wanted to give her something … It would not harm Elain, even in its hunt to reclaim what had been taken.

“You were Made by the Cauldron. You may track other objects Made by it as well... and because you are Made by it, you are immune to the influence and power of the Trove. You might use them, yes, but they cannot be used upon you.”

Lucien’s Mate: Elain hasn’t been raised with the mating bond, she doesn’t care for it in ACOWAR when she tries to win Graysen back, but it is possible that after almost two years in the Night Court, and watching both of her sisters accept their bonds, that she may want to acknowledge it, or at least understand it. Being Lucien’s Mate also makes Elain a political pawn. Her presence in the Night Court ensures Lucien’s loyalty, and given that Lucient has ties to 3 of the seven courts and the human lands. Elain could potentially wield the power of those alliances (or destroy them based on her relationship with Lucien).

“You are his mate. Do you even know what that means?”// “It means nothing,” Elain said, her voice breaking. “It means nothing. I don’t care who decided it or why they did—”// “You belong to him.”//“I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you.”(ACOWAR)

“You couldn’t say a single word to him? A pleasant greeting?//“He brought you a present”// “And that entitles him to my time, my affections?”// “No. He is a good male. He cares for you.”// “He doesn’t know me.” //“You don’t give him the chance to even try to do so.”//“I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male” (ACOFAS)

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

Member of the Inner Circle: Elain insists that she is a member of the Night Court in ACOSF, and offers her help in tracking down the Dread Trove. . She is already an active member at Inner Circle dinners (seen in ACOFAS and ACOSF), and those bonds could continue to grow.

“And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared she was a part of this court -- and would do whatever was needed. ... He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court... It sucked the life from her.”

Nuala and Cerrdiwen’s Friend: Elain has befriended the two half-wraiths who spy for both Azriel and Rhys. Give Elain’s powers for persuasion (”my sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles”) and observation (”Nesta never spoke if afterward, I just observed”// “Elain’s brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that.” ), she could make an interesting spy or courtier.

“They’d spent more time with Elain than even I had. They understood her moods, what she sometimes needed.” (ACOFAS)

Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends. (ACOSF)

#elain archeron #acotar #elain #elain archeron week #kp analysis #acotar series #mtp

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i-need-air · 4 years

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King & Queen. – Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader.

Summary: Fluff, Baku being extra while confessing, social media shenanigans.

Word count: 1784.

It's 4 AM, I'm a mess but I needed to get this off my chest. I'm testing the waters with my writings, it's been forever since I wrote anything and I wanted to throw myself a little bit into the fandom I've been obsessed with for the past months. I do hope you enjoy it. ♥

Bakugou Katsuki took pride in having such a large following online. Ever since the first year UA Sports Festival, both his Twitter and Instagram accounts got thousands and thousands of followers, mostly crushing over him and others just hating on him, and in both ways he loved the attention.

The Aesthetics™ he had were always on point and his Twitter was just filled with one sentence tweets, re-tweets of famous heroes, a somewhat dry, dark and/or sarcastic meme from time to time, only and only if it fit (again) his aesthetics. Sometimes he'd engage with the Bakusquad, specially Kaminari and Mina, both very active users, and [Y/N], answering to her tweets with a one word roast and little more.

After the second year UA Sports Festival though? His social media reached the 100k mark, skyrocketing into a small celebrity as he won the first place for two years in a row. But what made him reach such a large number was the way he won. Their battle for the first place was insane, such a difference compared to what he had to deal with Todoroki in the past. [Y/N] put an amazing fight, there's no doubt to that, but the woman overused her quirk and he knew her weakness, mostly since he sometimes (rarely, almost never, pft) observed her train with Icy-Hot or Deku. It was a spectacle to watch and it has even been televised for a whole week afterwards, critics applauding how promising UA's students were. And that's how it all started.

The shipping.

Images and even fucking edited music videos of their fight were everywhere. It was so obvious both of them enjoyed the fight, the little grins they shared as they attacked each other, the small comments both threw and the camera and mics everywhere picked, the look Bakugou Katsuki gave [Y/N] when she kicked his ass. Such an adoration, followed by his insane grin, ready for a challenge. The look [Y/N] gave him, as he took the first place medal with pride from Endeavor, thriving at the applauses from the public. Stars were put to shame compared to the sparks in her eyes. Oh, and the moment their orbs made contact exactly after that? The chemistry.

Bakuy/n was one of their names online, apart from variations of their hero names mixed together. The fandom was slowly picking up a name, mostly going with the first mentioned. And Katsuki? He was fucking aware of everything. Her social media was on radio silence, but this event made him think. Actually think, not half-ass an idea and just throw himself head on into it. And the conversation he overheard was just making him plot now.

Mina and [Y/N] were actually discussing this exact topic. The pink girl was thriving for it. Her Twitter account was now filled with subliminal messages about love and it made her poor friend anxious. Basically because this issue hasn't been addressed at all with Bakugou and she planned to keep it that way. Yet Mina, sweet, adorable, loving Mina was just pressing on it really badly, but thankfully she never did when both sides of Bakuy/n were in the same room/conversation.

"Isn't it like so romantic?" Mina's eyes shined, hands clapped, her gaze looking somewhere in the distance, daydreaming.

"No, it's not, it's weird..." her [h/c] haired friend answered, falling more into the couch of their living quarters, trying to hide from the world.

"It would be if it wasn't obvious you pin for each other!"

"Oh, god, please stop saying that."

"You're not denying it though!"

"MINA!"

Laughter coming from the pinkette filled the room as the blond man decided not to interrupt and leave, small grin on his face as [Y/N]'s groans just told him what he needed to hear. She definitely did not deny the attraction and whatever chemistry they had.

Which leads to the current situation.

The girl was sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for Ochaco and Mina to come around, phone in hand as she scrolled mindlessly through Twitter, watching as her most recent tweet, the first one in ages, was getting attention. She giggled at Denki's stupidity, as he just posted a selfie of himself drenched in Diet Coke clearly in the UA bathrooms. Checking his replies she saw the boy she's been [kinda, lowkey, just a lil bit] trying to avoid for the past days.

[@BakugouKatsuki:]

"Dumbass."

[@MissPinky:]

"So THAT'S WHY U NEEDED MINTS!?!!!!!?? 🤣

She giggled again, entertained by her friends when her interactions just exploded. App actually crashed as she blinked while munching on some french fries dumbly.

As she tried to open her app again, both her friends landed by the table, joking about Kaminari and his never ending stupidity. Notifications popped again and again, legit confusing the girl to no end, making her ignore her two friends as they asked her what was going on, mainly because of her expression.

"The hell...?" she muttered, throwing the phone down while Twitter took its sweet, sweet time to load and open and just as she opened her mouth to answer Mina, she made eye contact with some very intense red eyes.

Clasping her mouth shut and ignoring Ochaco as she took [Y/N]'s phone to see what's going on, the girl could only focus on Bakugou, sitting a few tables away, facing her direction. She almost shivered in place under the intensity he was giving away, although his position was laid back, phone in one hand, chin in the other. And, again, gaze on her. He barely even blinked, his neutral expression giving nothing away and she knew she was blushing. Why was she a blushing mess under his gaze? Well, answer was obvious for everyone, even the whole internet now, but oh, she wished Bakugou Katsuki wasn't that sharp. Who are we kidding though?

Ochaco started to shake her out of her daze, interrupting the intense eye contact battle as she shoved her phone in her face.

"Oh. My. God." She muttered, stuttering her following words "Please, look at this, I can't believe it... Mina, check Twitter."

"If Kaminari threw Diet Coke and Mints in one of the bathroom toilets to 'experiment', I'm done with him." Mina responded but froze in place, just as [Y/N] looked away from the explosive boy. "Wait... WAIT!" her eyes almost popped out of her skull. "WHAAAAAAA–?!"

On the screen of her phone was the profile of the guy she's been crushing for... A year now? The guy that at first ignored her, then screamed at her, then beat her ass in training, then got his ass beaten by her, that scoffed at her shitty jokes, that actually chuckled at her shitty jokes, that studied with her, that smiled at her... The guy that complimented her when her quick improved. The guy that took her opinion seriously even when acting like he didn't care. The guy that stole her heart when he showed little glimpses of his complex persona only to her. The guy that fucking retweeted:

[@onlybakuy/nhere:]

"King & Queen."

And a picture attached, them shaking hands after their battle, ready to go get prepared for the podium. Bloodied, sweaty, yet both smiling at each other.

"I can't believe this–[Y/N]–" The brunette started rambling and fangirling besides her, but... With a careful glance, she peeked under her eyelashes to look at the boy again, her heart almost stopping when noticing he was still observing, small grin on his face hidden behind his hand, perfectly angled for her to see. "There's another one!"

Everything started to make sense, as she quickly checked her notifications to see the Internet™ just going crazy over that retweet. People started mass-following her, fans and stans just living for it, tagging her username with a screenshot of the retweet and now it hyped up again with... pictures of his profile? Did he change his description? He... changed his description. While there was absolutely nothing in there, now there was one single word. King.

Her eyebrows just rose so high her forehead hurt, the 3 braincells that were still somehow functioning were catching up to what the hell was going on and now she was positive, 100%, without a doubt that she was blushing like a mad-woman, a smile forming on her lips as she hit the retweet button on the same tweet he did and instantly opening her profile to edit.

Both her friends were freaking out by her side, accusing her of being way too calm in this situation, to explain but [Y/N] knew she couldn't utter any word, or even look up at them or at him. If she did, she'd break the spell, the moment, and as she deleted her description and only wrote a single word in her profile, her smile only widened. Hearing Mina screech after seeing her retweet, the girl giggled like an idiot.

Bakugou Katsuki was loud, brash, maybe a little bit emotionally constipated, rough around the edges, incredibly smart, observing, caring, awful with words but straight to the point with actions. And he was, without a doubt, fucking extra when doing things.

As she pressed the button Save on her profile, she caught him looking at his phone, being patted on the back by Kirishima, that somehow appeared in the frame yet was so distant in her field of vision as only he mattered at the moment. Waiting his reaction patiently and waiting for the internet to start freaking out again, her chest was hurting from the drumming of her heart. Hell, she knew she looked like a disaster with a flushed face, phone gripped so hard in her hand that it could break, a group of girls forming around her, noisy yet so distant. The world going in slow motion, seeing his crimson eyes widen for a fraction of a second, hiding more of his face in the palm of his hand as he still tried to look so casual, Kirishima's "Yeaaaaaaaah!" filled her ears as he tapped his finger on the screen, destination already clear. And when he saw what he needed...

He got up, leaving his tray of food behind, shit-eating grin basically parting the sea of people forming around them both as he marched towards where she was seated, and for the third time they made eye contact. His cheeks flushed, such a boyish expression coveting his normally angry features, mischievous and happy, relieved, just... Perfect.

Everything went in slow motion for her, his march, decisive and bold, as he always was, took to an end as he got to her, just giving her a hand and a raised brow, inviting her to leave with him anywhere but there.

And she took it without hesitation.

#bakugou x reader #Bakugou katsuki x reader #F!reader #bakugou katsuki #Mha #Bnha #Twitter #Social media #my hero academia #Boku no hero academia #Fluff #Bakugou is fucking extra #♥ ♥ ♥#Noire writes

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americasmarauders · 4 years

Text

Wasteland, baby!-- Ben Hargreeves (part 1).

author’s note: hello hello. after weeks of writing here it is: my masterpiece. to be complete honest, this might actually be one of the best pieces of writings I have ever produced. ever.

words: 2759

masterlist

part 2

part 3

part 4

summary: that girl on the bus stop seemed so lonely and Ben couldn’t help himself really. So, he snuck out and became her friend.

He was having a hard time sleeping. It usually happened after a mission. Ben was haunted by the monsters he unleashed, and the faces of those he attacked. He hardly could sleep after using his powers. He silently thanked that Father had stopped monitoring their sleep after Five disappeared.

He sat on his bed, his back resting against the wall, his feet dangling. He looked out the window, the sun was barely up and the streets were quiet. Usually, he was always the first one to wake up out of his siblings—the morning light peaked right on his face. He would wait until the dreaded knock on his door, a sign that they were to face the horror they called Father.

Usually, Ben would sit watching the streets, quietly wondering and admiring the normalcy of it. There wasn’t anything to watch, a couple of cars passing, the tiny garden one of the residents of the building in front tended to, a bus stop that half disappeared on the corner of the sidewalk.

However, today, something got hold of his attention. A girl, standing quietly near the bus stop, just enough so Ben could see her clearly. She had a clear umbrella dangling off her backpack. She wore jeans and a white t-shirt with a print he couldn’t quite discern. She looked about his age, but it wasn’t that what intrigued him,

She looked so lonely. She had a lost look in her eyes. She kept glancing up and down the streets, her face morphing into something sadder each time she saw no one was coming.

His heart beat faster and faster. How come? She looked so kind and sweet. How could someone leave her alone?

He shuffled on his bed, his face this close to the glass window, clinging to her image. Ben watched her with curiosity. She was a new figure in his life, his so controlled and planned life.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there looking at her, but he heard the dreadful knock on the door. It must have been long.

“I’m coming,” he answered to it.

When he looked back to where the girl was standing, she was gone.

Ben woke up earlier the next days. Earlier than he usually did. He spent the entire week looking at her. She stayed at the same place for a while before she walked off to the end of the street, he guessed to the school at the end of it. She always looked lonely, she always was looking for something or someone to accompany her.

He changed out of his pajamas quickly. He was tying his tie when he turned to the window, one knee on the bed, seeing if she was outside. He finished his tie and pulled the sweater on top of it, opting against using his blazer.

Ben glanced one last time out the window. The sky rumbled. He sighed, as he looked up to the sky, little droplets of water fell. He put his shoes on and quietly left his room. He avoided all the spots in the corridor where the wood would creak under his feet. He hoped Pogo was nowhere near the entrance.

He descended the stairs quietly, his heart beating rapidly and strongly. Ben had never done something so sneakily and so exciting in his life. Sure, he had once messed with Allison’s teddy bear and a string of other practical harmless pranks, but this felt different and more criminal than those childish plays.

As he stood in front of the door, his hand gripping an umbrella tightly. His other hand hovered over the handle hesitating. He closed his eyes and, in a rush, he opened the door and stepped outside. He opened his eyes as he felt drops of water hit his shoulders and hair. He smiled and closed the door.

With the umbrella opened, he crossed the streets in long strides, laughing at the thrill of defying orders. He could see her, standing under her clear umbrella looking down at her phone—a luxury he wished he could have. Just as always, she looked a tiny bit sad.

He slowed down his pace, still smiling. He quietly approached her. She sensed him coming her way and looked up right at him. Ben wasn’t counting on how beautiful she looked up close, he had seen her only from afar. He faltered for a split second shocked, but quickly recomposed. He stood next to her, his smile still very much present.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Hey,” he breathed out. “I’m sorry,” he laughed nervously, “it must be weird. I mean, you’ve never seen me. I—” he cleared his throat, “I noticed you looked quite lonely and I thought I’d stay with you.”

She smiled. “Okay,” she said quietly. “It’s not weird. I saw you looking last week.”

“Oh,” Ben hadn’t seen her looking. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” she responded. “Someone might have thought it was creepy, but,” she laughed and shook her head, “I somehow knew you didn’t mean any harm.”

“That’s—” he swallowed nervously, “good.”

“I’m Y/N,” she said and his heart stopped for a second at how beautiful and fitting it was.

He smiled at her. “I’m Ben.”

Lightning stroke and she yelped slightly. Both giggled at her scare. Both knew it was the start of something magical.

It became a routine. A routine he maintained for the better part of 2 months.

Ben would wake up earlier—they started to meet earlier and earlier, craving for more time together as they became closer—jump out of bed, and fly out the door (he started climbing out the window when he had a near encounter with Pogo one morning). He would stay with her until she had to leave for school. With that he would climb to his room and put on his blazer. Sure, he would come to breakfast a few minutes later, but it was all worth it. She was worth every second of the few minutes they spent together.

He discovered a lot of things about her. She lived a couple of blocks away and she went to school just down the street. She was a year younger than him and she wanted to be a scientist after school. She read a lot, mostly contemporary books, but there were some classics that she absolutely loved like Peter Pan and To Kill a Mockingbird.

Some would argue she was absolutely, positively ordinary. To Ben, that was what made her extraordinary. He was surrounded by things he couldn’t really explain, that most couldn’t even begin to wrap their heads around it. His whole existence was one of mystery and, quite frankly, horror.

Y/N was the opposite. She was normal. No powers, no buying kids to experiment on them. She had both parents, normal balanced adults who loved her very much. She was an only child, no crazy siblings for her. She went to school and learned normal things, she didn’t learn a thousand different languages and advanced calculus or whatever. She said she didn’t have many friends, but he was her friend. He believed he was her friend because she was his only friend.

It was a sunny day, hot, nearing the end of the school year to her. Ben was sweating in his button up, and she adorned a sundress. Some would say it was behaved, playing it safe, she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. To Ben, it was perfect. She glowed. Her hair was down and she clutched her backpack tightly, the clear umbrella always hanging off of it.

They chatted lightly. As they talked, Ben lost track of time. She was supposed to be heading to school and he was supposed to be on his way down the stairs as the breakfast hour neared. His eyes drifted to the academy, his brother Klaus looking out his window with a smirk framing his face.

“Shit!” Ben said, frantically looking down a watch he kept in his pocket.

“What?” Y/N responded confused. “Is everything okay?”

“We lost track of time,” Ben said looking up the window one more time, Klaus signaling to his wrist as if Ben was running out of time. Y/N’s eyes trailed to where Ben was looking. She raised her eyebrows at the sight of a boy at Ben’s window, absolutely amused at the situation. “We need to go.”

“Yeah,” she breathed out, her eyes peeling off the window and settling on Ben. She smiled. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben shook his head, already halfway across the street in a rush. “See you!”

Shit, shit, shit, shit, he muttered all the way up to his window in the second floor. As he got up there, Klaus helped him up the ledge, helping bring his brother into the room. He didn’t wipe the smirk off his face, as Ben frantically composed himself in the mirror, straightening his tie and fixing his hair. He picked up the blazer on top of his bed and put it on.

“You’re lucky it was me who caught you,” Klaus said amused.

“Shut up, Klaus,” Ben muttered.

“Wow, Benny boy, you wound me,” he said dramatically. “I guess you won’t mind then if I tell dear old dad that Number Six is sneaking out of the academy to flirt with girls,” he completed with annoying kissing noises.

“Don’t tell Dad,” he gritted angrily. His eyes softened and he quietly begged, “Please, Klaus. She—,” he swallowed, “she has nothing to do with this. Don’t involve her.”

Klaus wasn’t one to show softness: he hid it under a much dramatic persona, alcohol and drugs—not necessarily in that order. Ben was lucky his brother was sober that morning. “I won’t,” Klaus said. “But you have to more careful.”

With that, Klaus was out the door. Ben exhaled deeply and muttered a small yeah before he was off to slay that morning’s demon.

Ben laid awake that night.

He had spent the entire day on edge, hoping Klaus wouldn’t spill his biggest secret to everyone, especially their Father. Thankfully, he wasn’t that much of an asshole, and even when Klaus was higher than high that afternoon, he managed to keep his mouth shut—which was greatly appreciated by Ben.

He started to reflect on every single conversation he and Y/N shared, his heart racing at the memories. It started with a simple glint in her eyes, and it escalated to Ben feeling like he couldn’t breathe right if he didn’t see her regularly.

He hadn’t felt that way before, but he wasn’t exactly daft to the symptoms he was feeling. He had read enough novels to conclude he was either having panic attacks—which weren’t all too weird for him or his siblings to have—or he was in love. He quickly dismissed the first option. It wasn’t prompted, not like it usually is, and he couldn’t even imagine Y/N being a source of panic for him. Not when she felt like the only good thing in his life.

The logical conclusion was love. But a part of Ben was reluctant to admit that. It wasn’t planned: he hadn’t planned on loving her, he just wanted a friend. It was too soon for it. They’d had only two months of friendship, something he held so close to his heart he didn’t tell anyone he had a friend outside the Academy. It was an accident—a slip, really—that Klaus had found out.

That also prompted the elephant in the room: she didn’t really know who Ben was. She knew who he was, of course, he was Ben. He hadn’t lied and maintained his personality a secret in a weird catfishing way, no. She just didn’t know who he was. She didn’t know his surname, she didn’t know why he only wore white button ups, shorts and ties, she didn’t know why he had an umbrella tattoo at only 16 years old, she didn’t know he housed monsters inside of him.

The worst part is: Ben chose to omit that part of him. He didn’t want her to befriend him for his powers or for who his siblings were, he wanted her to like him for him, just plain old Ben. He wanted to prove to himself he was more than a number—sadly, quite literally—that his whole world was a mere detail in the grand scheme of things, that he mattered outside of being a tool for world salvation.

And she had helped him prove that. He knew that, now. He knew by the way her face would light up when she saw him cross the street, coming at her encounter. He saw by the way she would laugh at his sarcastic remarks on some random anecdote she was telling him about school. He saw at the way she would smile and listen attentively to what he was saying, even if it was the silliest thing to ever leave his lips. He knew he mattered to her. More than he could imagine, maybe. And, somehow, that was the world to him.

Smiling, he shifted in his bed, laying on his side. He looked at his night stand, the book she lent him staring back at him. She said that when she read, it had reminded her of him. He could hear her saying that—the memory too fresh from the previous day—it sent butterflies to his stomach and his thought became all fuzzy.

He hadn’t opened it yet. She said he was to open it. He felt bad for a second, he hadn’t had the time to do what she asked him to, but that thought quickly subsided with the memory of the exhaustion he felt after the training he had endured. If she knew, she would understand, right?

Ben picked the book up sitting upright in his bed. The clock flashed a 9:37 pm in a sickly green. If he could read at least the first chapter of it, he would finish it in minutes, and it wouldn’t leave him too exhausted for tomorrow’s training and he could comment his thoughts with her.

His fingers trailed lightly over the creases of the title. My Sweet Orange Tree, it read. He opened it and an envelope fell. He put the book aside and opened the envelope. He first took out a paper, folded in itself a couple of times. He then noticed there was another item inside of the envelope but opted to read the letter first. Ben turned the lamp beside his bed on and read.

Dear Ben,

I know you often choose to read intellectual books, your brain too smart to waste time on fickle fantasies. But I ask for you to waste time on this one. You’ll find that there’s more than meets the eye. Just like you, I suppose.

There’s a moral to this story you’re about to read, one I hope we get to discuss more than the few spare minutes we have before I go to school and you have to do whatever mysterious things you refuse to tell me. I hope you find it fitting, just like I found it fitting for you and me.

I know it seems early and even cowardly to say this through letter and not to your face, but Ben, my god, you mean so much to me, more than my brain can process. My heart surely can. I hope you know this.

It sounds silly and old fashioned, but I put a photo of me in the envelope. So, you’d remember me if something were to happen, or just remember me in general. I didn’t mean to sound so pessimistic. Behind the photo there’s my telephone number: home and cellphone. If you ever manage to, perhaps we can call each other?

After that sequence of random topics, I bid you farewell, my Ben. I hope to see you tomorrow.

Love,

Y/N.

He threw the letter aside, reaching for the envelope he had abandoned a few moments ago. He took the small picture out of it. Y/N was smiling at the camera, wearing that amazing sundress he loved, looking carefree. He smiled at the picture, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest. He flipped the picture, the numbers in black ink and her penmanship.

He put the letter and the picture on his night stand, making a mental note to get a frame for her photo. Ben sighed happily and opened the book. Chapter one.

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leatherbookmarking · 3 years

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fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK

overall:

belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement

initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh

would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’

general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)

THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)

MENG YAO:

leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other

has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila

insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.

the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)

DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly

WEN CHAO

oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,

his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)

you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it

yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes

initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...

this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

SU SHE

unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour

was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.

joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.

slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.

fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.

stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !

it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of

unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because

XUE YANG

responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.

but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab

very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.

adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes

started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE

most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc

no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.

WEN NING

su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances

seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!

in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON

in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king

when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)

nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows

MO XUANYU

a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg

fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)

his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES

most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)

tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)

has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM

famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this

bites

#shut up shrimp #ye..lls.........#some other time i'll have to write about what the other dudes are doing in this au #idol au

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cutegirlmayra · 4 years

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An Idea’r

Prompt:

It was a deep, black night with a velvet sky covering the sky except for the single bright moon that illuminated the shining water with a glowing, flat beam upon it’s reflective, light blue surface.

The darkness was calming,... After all, Sonic had been in space with the boys for months. When he landed, Amy was overjoyed to hear they had succeeded, but even more so when Tails handed her a letter from Sonic, which he was told not to read yet.

Sonic had lost his earth legs, and needed to run around for a bit, but the letter was a message to meet him. Amazed that he was initiating a meeting, Amy secretly hoped it would be more than just a simple, ‘Long time no see!’ as was usually Sonic’s persona.

Amy crept through the night, trying to not disrupt the magic it had created for itself as soft sounds from crickets and other musical bugs lit up the atmosphere in an orchestrated procession.

Her boots would squish and slightly crush little weeds under her feet, elongated from the added moisture in the area and growing very healthy, strengthening and straightening out again after she moved over them.

Her hands cheerily brushed against the shadowed tree trunks, like her mind wandering through one delightful thought after another, as Amy serpentine’d through the line of trees in whimsical imaginings she chased in her head.

Sonic... Sonic... Sonic!

Her thoughts led her to spin out into the open with a gleeful squeal before bundling her hands up by her cheeks and looking out towards a lake.

Her awe for nature made her eyes sparkle with the water’s moonlit fancy.

“Oh wow! It’s perfectly beautiful!” her expression beamed the same as the moon, and she closed her eyes to smile and absorb in the atmospheric vibes that sent such a majestic peace to her soul.

Then a shiny red, gold buckled shoe stepped into view in front of her. It sped at lightning speeds, but only rustled the plants around them.

Her eyes squished in as her eyebrows narrowed, feeling the shift. “Is that..?”

She slowly opened her eyes as Sonic gave her a neutral smile, his hands on his hips with some heroic confidence, as though that image wasn’t printed forever on her heart.

Her face extended into one of pure joy, “Sonic!” she cried out his name, leaning forward with her arms out to her sides, a very feminine but happy surprise to her actions.

He bent his head slightly, “I’m glad you could make it... Amy.”

“Hehe, how could I miss it?” She jumped a little in her stride, coming up to him as he held up a hand to greet her, but stepped back with an awkward smile and nervous sweatdrop on the side of his face.

He chuckled as she slowed to a halt, still radiantly jittery from seeing him.

“I heard from Tails you all had quite a ride up in space!”

His expression seemed to change to a more serious contemplating, and he turned slightly away from her, closing his eyes as though concealing the doorways to his emotions once more.

“Something like that.” He looked away with a slight frown, opening the slits of his eyes as though showing a quiet sorrow to some unknown fact.

Amy wasn’t really paying attention, so lost in her enthusiasm at seeing him again that she completely tuned out the environment around her. “I was so worried! I’m glad that everyone came back safe! Ah..! Ohh... Sonic? Is everything alright?” she finally did notice his sudden aloof nature, and worriedly made a face to show her concern.

She placed a bent finger up by her open mouth, as though not sure if she should speak up and ask him what was wrong and ruin the moment...

Or at least, the moment she hoped would be created tonight...

“It... It was something.” he tapped his foot to the ground, as though avoiding the details. “But when everyone seemed to be disheartened, giving up hope...” he turned and walked to the lake, letting his arms fall down by his sides... but remaining poised with a natural power that Amy always admired in him.

After a long pause, he spoke again, facing away from her and looking out to the moon. “I wished you were there then... You always cheered everyone up when hope seemed lost. You would find it and regain our spirits somehow.” He watched the dark sky where no stars shone that night... as though lost in his memories.

It was unlike Sonic to be so preoccupied in thought or even in past events that have already happened. He always said the outcome and the moment were more important, but the adventure was always his favorite part.

Was this adventure... different this time for him?

“You... missed me?” Her face flushed a moment and she giddily smiled with nervous sweat spraying off the sides of her face, slightly pivoting her face away from his precious reveal of his thoughts out in space. “Ah, ah... T-that’s so sweet... b-b-but now I wonder.” she put her hands to the sides of her cheeks, “Hehee~ Maybe I should send you off with a spaceship full of men often!” she teased, thinking he might just have missed a ‘woman’s touch’ while up in space.

But when she turned back, grinning from ear to ear at her tease, she noticed he didn’t seem to react at all the way she had hoped.

Instead, his head dropped a bit down, almost melancholy like... and then something completely unexpected happened.

“Amy,... Are we... dating?”

Amy’s body just dropped to sitting down on the cool ground of weeds. She suddenly batted her hands to blow the heat off her face and excitedly kept her ecstasy down from being noticed by the handsomely solemn hedgehog.

She decided to play coy, quickly shifting herself to have her hands down between her bent on the ground legs and her face turning slightly away from him, down with a blush before up as if all-knowing but innocent about it.

“I always knew we were.” she teased, but slowly turned her eyes back to him, breaking her sudden playful nature in patient curiosity as to where this was going... what he would say next... and if all her dreams had been building her up for this moment.

Most importantly... what did he want from calling her out this night!?

There was a moment she was worried he wouldn’t say anything at all,... but his arms moved right back up to his hips, and his chest stuck up towards the sky that he returned his gaze too.

“Okay.” he simply stated, and that was enough to pause Amy’s movements in awe at what that could mean.

As though on cue, the crickets chimed back up, the night air blew into another still, and fireflies glided to a low light under the weeds... as though being transferred over to this moment in the lake’s fields to heightened the magical moment for Amy.

She just stared at the man she had longed to be able to love for the rest of her days, silently praying there would come a day where he would need and want her too, and that she could love and be loved without holding back; free in the moment and liberated from her lonely, dreary, and boring life forever.

There arose then a need to not lose whatever she had gained, whatever that was, whatever he had meant by that.

She quickly shook herself out of the shock and panicked that she wasn’t looking romantic enough, and searched the ground desperately for an idea.

She dashed to sprawl herself out and look ‘appealing’ by Hollywood standards but it was a silly attempt, and with sweatdrops profusely popping up along the sides of her head, she just smiled nervously as though submitting to whatever amazing thing was going to come out of his mouth next. “H-ha-haha, so like,... umm... you missed me that much, huh?” she wondered if he would cuddle with her? Would he try and hold her!? Would he kiss..?!

Her face kept showing her growing imagination as animated puffs of smoke burst from her head in the heat of her face’s open-mouth smile and sweaty sides of her face...

Then... his head turned to slightly look back at her with — once again—mysterious neutral smile that must have been holding back so much more... at least, she hoped there was something she was missing in it, and that it wasn’t just as simple as he was making it out to be.

Although, at least he was smiling to her... and at least he wasn’t making this a ‘okay, see ya later!’ gag...

She mentally gasped.

WHAT IF THIS WAS A ‘SEE YA AROUND’ GAG?!

He tilted his head and closed his eyes, “Something like that.” his soft but genuine voice shook her out of her attempts to look appealing.

Now she was simply intrigued. What was going on in his complicated mind? What was he hoping to accomplish by saying all this to her?

“S-so... what happened?” she nervously watched as he made his way calmly over to her, his face still showing a carefree smile and his eyes closed as if deep in his thoughts.

He sat next to her, and she quickly jolted up and sat properly this time, having her knees under her and her hands on top of them.

She blinked and watched him, waiting as he sighed as though relaxing, lifting a knee up and scratching the back of his bent head.

Individual quills stuck out from the gaps of his fingers, and Amy’s eyes shimmered as though wondering what was wrong.

How could anything be wrong!?

She shook her head, deciding to not dwell on it so much and create unnecessary anxiety.

“D-did... Did that moment where everyone seemed lost for courage... D-di-did that make you think of me differently?” she looked up at the sky, trying to not sound so nervous and shy about asking, but unable to successfully pull it off.

He looked to her comically, raising an eyebrow up. “All these years... and I tell you that only to have you act like this?” He held in a coughed laugh, which made her jolt and her quills stick up on end at her embarrassment. “You’re a funny one, Amy! Who knew you could be so fakely demure.” he called her out, eyeing her back with a smirk as she covered her face entirely and turned away.

“O-oh-owh-owwhhh, you couldn’t understand the complexity of a young girl in love’s heart!” she excused herself, but he just turned back to face forward and lifted his scratching hand down to the tip of his raised knee.

“Fair enough.” He conceded. “But yeah, I did miss you. I guess I realized this must be how you feel... when I’m not around, you would have to keep everyone believing. Somehow, you made everyone agree that things would turn out alright... And so long as I was around, you would just cheer me on, and naturally inspire others to do the same.” He turned away... but Amy dared to look back.

Her eyes widened.

Seeing the faint pink on his cheek in the dark night...

She stared once again in amazement, leaning slowly over to reach out and touch it as he continued, unaware of her entrancement at the color upon his muzzle.

She could only see a little bit of his nose, the side of his cheek, and the edge of his eyebrow as he continued talking, but her entire attention was upon that light streak of red... that she had never seen before.

“I always was appreciative of your efforts, Amy. But up there... where you weren’t around to help create that feeling of faith... I guess I realized how much we all really need you... in the end.” He looked at his hand, unaware of how close her reaching fingers were getting to his cheek. “I couldn’t bare to think of it then... how you must feel... when I’m not around for you, either.”

She paused, her fingers trembling as she felt the emotion begin to build up in tears around her eyes.

Sonic hated tears, she had to do something about this and fast!

She shook her head and sat back down from getting up to lean towards him, pulled back her hand and wiped the forming tears away, not wanting to spoil the moment.

The firefly glows were hushed but close, letting the intimate moment of shared feelings be while they quietly danced around the two lovers.

“Huh? Amy?” He turned back to her, as though worried. “You’re awfully more silent then usual.” He tilted his head, deeply curious of it. “What’s wrong? Am I saying something you don’t like?”

“N-no! That’s not it at all... hah...” she sniffed, trying to hide her uncontrollable emotions of joy from him.

He blinked, hearing the sniffle and wondering if she was alright, “Amy..?” He moved to try and see her expression but she hid it again.

“Ah-! Haha, wh-what did you want to see me out here for?! I’m sure you could have said this in your letter or even at my house! W-We... *Sniff* I mean, I could have prepared a picnic or something for your arrival, but I’m... I’m really glad you told me all this Sonic... Heh...” she continued to cry as she constantly rubbed her eyes, trying to fight back the flowing tears.

He paused a moment as she continued, listening intently...

“I’ve... *sniff* always believed in you, Sonic... of course it was hard when you were away. I know I shouldn’t, but I worried constantly about you! I couldn’t help myself. When you love someone so much, you deeply care about where they are or who’s possibly hurting them. Are they okay? Will they even think of you, remember you, after all the horrible things they had to fight and endure? Suppressing evil is one thing, but triumphing over your own doubts... the fears of your friends... that’s a battle in and of itself when you’re caught up in your feelings of anguish as well.” she kept bobbing her head, fighting the urge to sob but her mouth trembled with the faintest of whines as though on the verge of bawling into his arms.

“I’m just... I’m so thankful... I never wanted or would wish for you to experience those things of having to pep up your friends even when you’re feeling so horrible about everything... but if it meant you could see a glimpse of what I try to do for you... for everyone to keep supporting you and for you to focus solely on the fight and not worry about all of us, I-... I’m just so grateful...” she felt a hand softly, but firmly grip her arm.

As it made her turn, she continued to keep her eyes closed, though tears were obviously apparent now.

She felt it pulling her close and then sturdy arms embrace her, just as she wished they always would.

“Sonic...” her eyes squinted open.

He held her there, eyes closed, leaning his chin on her head.

She closed her eyes and nuzzled her head deeper into his chest, allowing herself to be emotional.

After a minute, she laughed, “How embarrassing. You’re the one telling me that hard experience for you and here I am, crying at it...”

Her smile and quaking voice seemed to inspire empathy from him though.

“It was the first time I’ve ever felt that helpless without you, Amy.” He quietly admitted, lifting his head up slightly so his chin didn’t hit her while he spoke, but his words hit home in another way regardless. “But you’ve had to go through your own battles countless times... I truly do admire you, Amy. You never give up. Because of your example, neither did I.”

Amy rose her shaking hand to grip his arm, his words meant so much to her, she was more than elated... she was comforted.

She pulled out of his arms momentarily, surprising him as he still had his arms around her.

“Amy?” He seemed to question why she moved.

Her eyes shook with a loving expression down at the ground, “Sonic... is that what you wanted to say to me?” She happily met his eyes again, and they sparkled far more than any stars, but the light in them filled Sonic’s with a sky that was littered in speckled lights alongside the moon.

He nodded into an absolute smile, with no sigh of doubt or uncertainty.

“Yeah.” he stated.

She gently closed her eyes then, still consumed in the feelings of love all around her. “Okay...” she repeated his words back to him, then excitedly reopened her eyes and clutched his arms further. “Then you have to promise me something, okay?”

He tilted his head, confused as to what that might be.

She demurely bent her head again and closed her eyes, dipping her chin down. “You have to never give up trying to cheer up others. No matter how much doubt or gloom may be present in them...” she flicked her eyes open with a resolving amount of powerful conviction. “And you have to remember that I won’t forgive you if you just give in to the doom, you have to save others just as much as they help save you, and you saving the world isn’t as important as inspiring those around you to believe that they can do the same!” She nodded with an inner strength he couldn’t deny in her eyes, and nodded similarly.

“I promise!” he grinned, willingly.

“Good.” she let him go, wiping the last of her tears on the back of her wrist. “Now... why did you ask if we were dating or not?”

“Oh, that?” He looked off to the side of himself, turning boyish, and put his legs in an Indian-style way as he held his shoes. His mouth formed an innocent ‘o’ as he spoke, “I guess I was just clueless is all.”

Her entire frame erupted.

“CLUELESS?!?!?”

“Uh oh! Amy! C-calm down!” he flinched back, but Amy’s whole being seemed to become a savage beast.

“YOU IDIOT!” she summoned her hammer at incredible speeds, slamming it down where he once was sitting as he leaped back like a frog and freaked out with the white’s of his eyes showing his wincing smile’s fear.

“Ah-haa!!!” he tried to run but she gripped a back quill’s tip, and he looked visibly shaken by not being able to run away. “Amy, I’m sorry! What did I do wrong!?”

“You jerk!” she threw him down and plopped his head on her lap, keeping him down as he reached his arms out in an attempt to show he wanted to get back up.

“A-Amy! Let me go!” He seemed to comically whine but Amy just ‘hmph’d and kept him there.

“You’re going to stay here and think about what you’ve done!” she pouted, not letting up one bit!

“H-huh?” he paused a second in his pathetic confusion. Looks like Sonic still didn’t understand his natural charm...

“And then you’re going to marry me!” she huffed in defiance.

“Whhhhattt...!? Ammmmyyyy!!!” Sonic may never understand the workings of a young girl’s heart...

The sounds of a helpless hedgehog echoed through the once peaceful lakeside field... and all the world stood once again, quietly still...

(Am I distracting myself from the feels of writing my fanfictions and prompts? Yes... yes I am lol.)

#sonamy #sonicxamy #sonamy prompt #cutegirlmayra #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose

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ohallthecrushes · 4 years

Text

Wherever you go I’ll find you // Joker x Reader // Part 1

A/N: Thank you, @call-me-harley-quinn for this idea, it turns out it’s gonna have at least 3 chapters, because there’s so much to discover in Arthur’s transformation and how it affects his life and mind, and I really like the idea of Joker realizing how much he loves his S/O and goes after her to win her back. <3 I had two ideas how this is gonna be and I chose this one, I hope this is what you wanted. <3

Summary: Arthur is so ingrained in his Joker persona, he forgets that his S/O has only seen Arthur. Not knowing him anymore, she runs. When Joker realizes this, he is devastated and does everything he can to find her. After days of searching, he finds her and takes her back. She is scared out of her mind, but it ends up being a beautiful reconciliation.

Cointains: mention of murder, rough sex, dark jokes

Word count: 4378

It was a crazy week. Crazy in every sense, good and bad. So many things had happened that had changed everything. So many accidents, coincidences, opportunities... Every single thing in his goddamn miserable life had changed. It was all unexpected and Arthur didn’t want this much complication in his life, but he couldn’t changed what he’d done and therefor he wasn’t surprised that his action had serious consequences. He couldn’t change it or erase it, so he went with the flow.

After killing Murray, he expected to be caught and escorted to jail. He laughed at this. What possibly could they do to him to humiliate and hurt him again? Nothing new. Nothing that he wasn’t already used to.

He didn’t fight when two men jumped on him. He laughed. And he didn’t fight when they were a little rough on him, giving him a few unnecessary punches to his face and kicking him when he was lying on the floor. He didn’t fight, no, he laughed.

It was happening all very fast. Handcuffs, police car, a short ride through burning Gotham, the accident, blank page, and the crowd chanting his name, encourage him to dance. Somehow he suddenly became noticed.

Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was to be finally noticed and wanted.

He heard the crowd screaming his name, he heard police sirens coming his way. He saw happy faces all over the place, he put on one too. Even though he felt tears filling up his eyes, he didn’t let himself to be bothered with them right now. He swirled around one more time with a grace that had always been in him. All that mattered to him in that moment was the eyes that was watching him. Mesmerized. He was mesmerized.

He wanted to pause this moment forever, only if he could. So he paused it in his mind and kept it as a good memory - one of very few that didn’t have you in it.

Joker wasn’t sure anymore how and when did he end up back in his old apartment, he somehow got away from police and his tired legs just led him back here. Back home. But it didn’t feel like home anymore. Even though everything was exactly how he’d left it (well, beside the splash of blood on the wall and floor, a new modern decoration that gave a quite nice and fresh touch to this place), it wasn’t the same place anymore. He wondered if this was because of the blood, or something else.

He smirked as he walked over to the couch. He sat down with his hands rested on the back of the couch. Suddenly he felt extremely tired. Completely jiggered. He let his eyelids droop closed and let his mind wander freely.

Images started appearing before his eyes, one after another - images of people dancing in fire, red and blue colors, police sirens, fire and blood, chanting crowds, bullets flying through the air, Murray spread across his chair. Oh how tired Murray looked, even more tired than Joker was. One could say that Murray must had been dead on his feet...

Joker laughed and changed his position a bit. His hands rested on his thighs as he laid his head on the back of the couch.

Imagines were still flowing in to his mind. He was watching them as if he was watching a movie. Dancing feet on a police car, people laughing at his jokes, guns appearing in a thin smoke, you smiling...

You?

Oh, the only thing that had been missing in the crowd of people watching him.

You were supposed to be there. If you only hadn’t gone out of town for a business trip.

He focused on your image, on your smiling face, on your beautiful eyes looking at him. He missed you, he missed you so much it hurt. But you were expected to come back soon. He had been counting days... no, hours even until you came back to him. But things had started to happen and he’d lost his count. He wasn’t sure what day it was today and how soon it was to see you again. All he was was sure however is that he was going to hug you and kiss you and make love to you until he felt like you two made up for the time you hadn’t been together. And after that he was going to keep you in his arms and never gonna let you leave him for so long ever again.

***

You were walking fast, passing by people in a zigzag course, almost running on your tiptoe, and tripping every once in a while. You were back in Gotham and you were heading to Arthur’s apartment to finally have a talk with him.

He hadn’t talk to you for over three days and you couldn’t reach him by phone until yesterday when he’d called you, just like that, asking when you were going to be back home. He’d asked his question so casual, like he hadn’t goneout of radar for three days! You wondered what had happened to him and if you did something wrong that could cause him to act so strange, making you go crazy with assumptions and worries, but the only thing that you could think of was having to travel to another city due to your job’s obligations. He hadn’t taken that information very good...

The first few days with you being out of town had been really hard for him, making you got seriously worried about his mental state. He’d sounded depressed and exhausted, like he’d never been before. You’d asked him if there’d been something else that had been happening, but he hadn’t answered. He hadn’t lied to you, he’d just started talk less and less... Until he’d stopped answering your calls all of the sudden.

And then you’d picked up the phone and it’d been him at the other side of the line sounding all joyful and excited. He’d said that he’d been fine and everything had been taken care of. You’d tried to put your worries aside and believe him, but you knew that something had been going on and at least one thing hadn’t been alright despite of what he had told you.

Your feet led you to the stairs once you got inside the building, since you couldn’t afford more time to waste on waiting for an elevator, and you soon found yourself standing before apartment 8J, panting heavily. You hadn’t felt so worried, rushed and excited at once for a long time. It was a bittersweet feeling being back here. Being excited to see him again and worried as hell. Butterflies were flying inside your entire body, reaching through your throat to your head, making you dizzy and weak at the knees.

You lifted up your shaking fist and knock on the door two times.

Waiting for the door to open was almost unbearable. It was only seconds, but they were stretched out in your mind, feeling like the longest seconds in your life. You tried to keep your brave face on and acted normal, but you shifted the weight from your right leg to left, impatient and full of worries.

You heard as Arthur opened all the locks, your eyes were tracing his hands, even though you couldn’t see them, and the door finally opened wide. You saw him standing in front of you wearing a red suit that you hadn’t seen before. His hair was dyed green and his face was painted in Carnival make up, though it was more sloppy and messy. He looked at you and smiled widely, his whole face lit up with happiness, and he took you into his arms and hugged you firmly, pulling you into the apartment, his arms wrapped tightly around you, and his face buried into your neck.

- Oh, Artie... - you couldn’t help but feel tears forming in your eyes.

- Hey, sweetheart, welcome home - his voice came out as soft and sweet as always.

You breathed in his scent and cologne as you hugged him back. You could feel his body shaking a bit.

- You’re alright? - you asked against his chest.

- I’ve m-missed you - his voice shaky too, filled with strong emotions.

It was such a wonderful feeling to be back in his arms, he felt like home and you were so overwhelmed by love, that you almost forgot that you were upset a moment ago.You were home and you had to feel him first.

You sank your fingers into his hair and played with his green curls. Your other hand caressed his back in soothe motions. You could feel his body relaxed under your touch. You could tell that he felt it too, this lovely feeling of being home.

Having you in his arms was the only thing that he had been thinking about for the last days. Now that his imagination reached the reality, he finally could rest his mind and body, and have a moment of piece. You on the other hand could worries less about him as he was clearly alive and seemed to be alright.

He smiled against your neck and slightly leaned you back. His chest pressed against you and he made you both swaying right and left, left and right.

- Ooh, my pretty Doll is finally here, I’ve missed you so, so much, my love - he tilted his head and started peppering your neck and face with kisses - so, so, so, so much...

You couldn’t help but giggle despite you being upset at him and you tried to capture his lips with yours, but he didn’t let you, moving to the other side of your face, putting kisses wherever he could.

- I... missed you... too - you said between the giggles.

When his mouth ended pressed on yours you closed your eyes and kissed him back, parting your lips and putting out your tongue. He welcomed it by deepening the kiss. His tongue found yours, beginning dance a slow tango.

You were locked in lovers’ embrace for a long while, kissing hungrily as if it was the end of the world and you had the last chance to kiss each other.

A need for a break to catch your breath came to you eventually, and you stood with your foreheads abutted, panting and smiling. You looked at his face and down at his red suit. This was new, you didn’t remember him wearing those clothes, except for a yellow vest.

- Is that your new Carnival outfit?

- No, honey, it’s my new self, new me, I’m reborn.

You slightly knitted your eyebrows and looked up at his green hair. The color looked good on him, you had to admit. And the new outfit gave him a sexy, kinda intimidating look. It wasn’t exactly a clown outfit, it was too elegant, but his choice of colors was crazy and made him look very noticeable, which was probably his point you guessed.

- That’s a very nice looking, sexy suit - you said as you ran your hands over his red jacket.

- I know - he agreed, the smile on his face was a mix of self-proud and enjoyment - I’m glad you like it.

- Have you performed already with your new self, darling? - you asked as your eyes were admiring his clothes and his new little messy make up. You wondered if he’d gotten a new gig he hadn’t told you about yet. Since Hoyt fired him, which wasn’t fair in your opinion, cause Arthur was harmless even with a gun, you felt sorry for Arthur for being fired like that. Maybe he’d found a new job and telling you about it was a surprise he had for you? Maybe that was the reason he hadn’t talked to you, cause he hadn’t had time?

- Yes, I did - he swayed his body, a little tiptoe dance - At Murray’s show.

Your eyes widened and you looked at him with incredulity.

- What? Murray’s show? - you asked surprised - you’re kidding?

He shook his head and smiled.

- I’m not kidding, Murray invited me on his show and I was at a sta-

- W-why... - you interrupted him still surprised and a little disappointed - why you didn’t tell me? I could have watched you and-

This time he interrupted you, shaking his head.

- No, no, sweet thing. It wasn’t something you’d like to watch.

- Why? Did it go that bad? - you could feel your heart beating faster again with worries. This was important, this was a big topic for Arthur. You’d been talking about it several times in the past, how it would have been like if he was invited on the show. This had been his big dream for years. He’d shared that with you, so why he hadn’t told you that he’d been invited?

- It was just... something unexpected - he started to explain - something that changed my life, but it wouldn’t do any good if you watched it, believe me.

- What? I don’t understand, Arthur, please explain that to me.

He sighed and reached his hand behind you to close the door. He locked it and turned around to you with a smirk. He leaned down, putting one hand under your knees and the other around your waist. He lifted you with an ease and took you to the couch, before putting you gently on the floor. He sat down and as you were about to do the same, he took you by your wrist and led you onto his lap. You got comfortable there right away, it was your favorite place to sit after all. He wrapped his hands around your waist and kissed your neck, nibbling gently on your skin.

- You smell so good, Kitten, I want to take you now on that couch.

You gasped at his directness as you stretched your neck for him. You hadn’t given a thought to that before, but he was less shy than usual, more energetic and the confidence that beamed from him was as strange as appealing. You didn’t quite understand where it came from, but you thought that maybe it was the time apart and homesick that temporarily changed his behavior. Maybe something good had finally happened to him?

- Arthur, a-are you gonna expl-ain... - you tried to get back to the subject that needed to be discussed, but it was hard to form words now that his lips were kissing your collarbone with his hand slipping under your shirt to caress your skin. You’d been feeling too untouched and underloved that past week so now your senses just got crazy with a simple touch and wet kisses. You decided to let go for now, you could go back to it later after all, after you reunited with him. You missed your boyfriend and it had been too long since you hadn’t seen and touched each other.

You caught his lips with yours and shifted, putting your legs on both sides of his hips. While your mouth was busy tasting his lips, his hands slid down to your lower back and pulled you closer to him. You were pressed against his hard cock and he definitely could feel your panties getting soaked, thanks to your decision to wear a skirt today. You rubbed against his crotch eliciting a moan from his mouth. You pulled away and started to kiss the line of his jaw heading to his neck. You tasted greasepaint and you could swear it tasted real good, though not as good as his bare skin that you nibbled on.

His grip on your hips tightened as he made you rub against him again. He was hard as stone and you couldn’t wait any longer, you wanted to feel him in your hand. You reached to the waistband of his red trousers as you unzipped his pants and freed his cock. You wrapped your fingers around his shaft, your thumb rubbed circles around the moist head. He was hot and unbelievable hard. Pre-cum already leaking from him as he pressed you against his crotch, his teeth dug into the crook of your neck a little bit too hard, but you didn’t mind, you were too aroused to feel anything but pleasure.

You moved your hand a few times up and down, feeling every veins on his member, making him groan against your skin. As were you about to attack his neck with kisses, he pulled you away from his lap and laid you on the coach.

- You have no idea how painfully hard it was to wait for you - he said as he slid his hands under your skirt, grabbed your panties and took them off of you - How much I needed you to come back.

He crawled on top of you, his green curls hanging loosely as he pinned you down, his stare full of desire and hidden pain. Dominance and arrogance. A mix of happiness and sadness that you could see in his eyes, but you couldn’t figure out where it all came from. And there was something more also, something more complex, a bunch of emotions from the previous week and whatever had happened back then that you didn’t know about. His intense gaze intimidated you.

- You’re still mine, right? - he asked, lowering his voice.

- Yes, of course, pumpkin - you placed an open palm onto his cheek, trying to stay cool - I’ll always be yours.

He searched your face for a second, maybe looking for any sign of a lie, before he smiled when he of course didn’t find any and pressed a sloppy kiss on your mouth. His disbelief always sent a little pain into your heart, but you knew it was the result of his insecurities and it wasn’t something easily to control. You knew he didn’t doubt your love to him, he always doubted his mind.

He placed himself between your legs, moving his hips, his shaft started rubbing against your clit, giving you friction you needed. You could feel goosebumps all over your body and all the butterflies already gathered in your lower stomach, flicking their wings in anticipation.

- Come inside, I need to feel you - you whispered as you wrapped your legs around him.

He didn’t need an invitation, nor an encourage anymore, but it was always arousing to hear your pleading voice begging for him and anything that he could do to you.

And oh, the things he could do to you now as Joker. All those positions and scenarios that he could see in his mind. He thought about them often when he was alone in his bedroom, tormented with his insomnia. The things that would make Arthur so embarrassed, the things that would never cross Arthur’s mind due to his shy and timid nature. All of those things that Joker wanted to do and gonna get from you eventually. He felt like he could finally be a lover that you deserved. Not clumsy or too shy to ask for things, but confident and dominant, ready to explore new things with you. Now that his mind was finally unchained, he could wandered to corners of his imagination that was always too dark and too perverted for Arthur to look at.

He slipped into your warm and wet walls and moaned into your ear. That was the best feeling in the entire world, to be inside you. To be as one. He wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

He started moving in a steady pace, supporting himself with one hand, while the other were gripping your thigh. His tongue lick up a trace on your neck, stopping right under your ear. He took your earlobe between his lips and sucked on it. Your hand caressed the back of his head and he pushed deeper into you a few times, forcing you to grip his hair into a fist. He smirked and fastened his pace, tilted his head to look at your pretty face.

- Do you like it? - he asked with a little raspy voice as he caught your eyes with his - Do you like my cock stretching your walls, filling you up to the brink?

You parted your lips in slightly surprise, knowing that he hadn’t been the one, initiating a dirty talk before and not with that much confidence in him.

- Y-yea, I- Love it, i-it feels so good - you answered looking into his deep, dark eyes. You wondered if he was alright. The look he was giving you was different, his eyes were different. You’d seen that gaze before, but only when he was very angry. Was he angry right now? He seemed quite relaxed.

- Mmmm - he hummed as he pushed against you, his cock reached your cervix and you rolled your head back, moaning his name.

- Arthur...

No, no Arthur, dollface, it’s Joker that’s fucking you.

His eyes glanced at your hand resting on a pillow, your palm formed into a fist, your wrist so delicate and thin, waiting to be grabbed... With a boosted confidence that arose a new side of him, he quickly wrapped your wrist, pinning it against the pillow. He didn’t know why but if felt like a good idea to show you his dominance you’d never seen before. He hoped you’d like it... no, he knew you’d like it, he remembered all the times when you’d asked him to be a little bit more rough and he just couldn’t do it for you.

Artie couldn’t do it.

Joker dived his face into the crook of your neck and bit your skin, sucked on it, leaving a very visible mark. You made a sweet sound at that, that turned him on and encouraged him to keep going with his teeth, leaving a few more marks on your skin. Your hand that was pinned by him tensed, he could feel you trying to release yourself from his grip, but he didn’t let go. He focused on your moaning and his own pleasure, as he was pounding into you faster and deeper, hitting your cervix every time. He loved how responsive you were to him, how your perfectly shaped body wriggled underneath him, and how he was the cause of it.

You left out a sound that was something between a loud moan and a suppressed scream and he captured your lips, sliding his tongue inside your mouth, finding yours to dance with. He loved how you pulled his hair while he lowered his body to weight you down.

You were lacking of air that Arthur took from you with his passionate and demanding sex, taking you like he owned you and forcing you to be submissive.

To say that you were in shocked, was an understatement. You and Arthur always made love to each other. It wasn’t a vanilla boring sex, no, there was a lot of passion and playfulness in it, but he never went rough on you, he’d never fucked you. He could fasten his pace or go harder when you asked him, but he wouldn’t do things that could make you any harm and he definitely wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.

And he always asked when he wanted to try to do something.

Always.

Except this time.

You didn’t mind him being a little rough, sometimes you’d even imagined Arthur taking you like that, being a bit more demanding and dominant. Being pinned down by him right now was like one of your dreams came true and at first it turned you on very much - being under his body, not able to move your hand, him pounding into you like a hungry animal... His confidence made you squirm and pleading for more. But eventually your wrist started to hurt and your cervix apparently didn’t like being hit so often with so much force, so you had to ask him to slow down.

But it wasn’t easy to say something with his tongue inside your mouth.

You were silenced, so you tried to free your hand on your own, but he was holding you down very firmly and every attempt to free your hand would only hurt your wrist. So you tried with your other hand as you pulled his hair up, in hope that he pulled away from you for a moment.

It worked after a few more thrusts.

He slowed down and looked at you, his eyebrows slightly knitted in surprise.

- What is it, doll?

- Can you... It’s... A little bit too... much - you answered feeling a little bit guilty all of a sudden, you didn’t want him to stop, but the uncomfortable pain started destroying your pleasure.

- Oh... - he stopped moving completely and the grip on your wrist loosened. He looked surprised and more guilty than you.

- I’m so sorry, Kitten, I didn’t... I didn’t mean to... - he brought your hand to his mouth and started kissing your wrist, quickly to ease any pain he’d caused you - I’m sorry. Feels better now?

- It’s alright, don’t worry, love, I’m fine - you smiled at him slightly, observing his face, it was hard to see Arthur underneath his greasepaint - Can we just... talk for a while?

He furrowed his brows concerned, but nodded and slowly pulled out of you, giving you a hand to help you sit up.

You both fixed yourself up and sat in front of each other. As you looked at his face you started to realize you were facing someone that wasn’t quite your boyfriend and it disturbed you and made you wanna scream.

But you suppressed your emotions somehow and decided to ask for explanation. Demand it if you had to.

And just as you were about to ask him about his strange behavior, you saw something in the corner of your eye. Something on the wall that attracted your attention. Something you hadn’t seen before. Something red.

#arthur fleck #joker #arthur fleck x reader #joker arthur fleck #joker x reader #joker imagine #joker fanfiction #arthur fleck imagine #joker reader #arthur fleck imagines #joker you

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silver-wield · 4 years

Note

I want to know what your thoughts are on the optional Aerith resolution scene? Particularly around the time where Aerith says the "love" line?

Awww man, you're gonna make me watch that? Lol

Ok let's do this then.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be reasonably long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

The Promise Analysis

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response)

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read)

Cloti action touching

Aerti friendship analysis

Cloti body language chapter 3

Cloti healthy disagreement

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15)

Clerith playground scene

Cloti body language plate fall

Cloud and Barret friendship

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

So, Aerith's been taken by Shinra and the group is still feeling the after effects of the plate fall. Everyone's pretty demoralised and after they visit deep ground and Cloud gets the aborted flashback of himself inside a chamber being experimented on, he says to Elmyra they should go save Aerith before the same fate befalls her.

Elmyra asks they sleep on it.

During the night Cloud “wakes up” to see a ghostly Aerith heading downstairs. He follows her outside and they talk on the hill top where the lifestream can be seen glowing in the background.

It’s important to note that Cloud has literally just gone through both the train graveyard and seen a bunch of ghosts and the plate collapse where he’s seen a load of people he cares about die.

Cloud looks surprised. Hmm I wonder why....

Yeah, this is a no brainer opening. Aerith shouldn't be there and he doesn't think he's asleep at this moment. He looks around and figures out it's a dream, but isn't totally sure because how often does anyone have cognisant dreams?

You can see the doubt about if she’s a ghost or not and she doesn’t clear that up, so Cloud’s left wondering if Aerith’s dead already. The following conversation doesn’t reassure him.

Aerith's “Maybe. You tell me,” doesn't actually help here. If Cloud's having doubts about how real it is – and she's aware of his fake persona and wants to know the real him – then causing further doubt in his mind seems counterproductive. It's like she's implying an illusory nature to their relationship. It also feels like foreshadowing the moment Cloud thinks he’s not real.

She's also not looking at him when she says it, so even if it was a teasing moment between them, she's automatically set a distance between them. Because eye contact matters, remember? When someone can't meet your eye it's for a reason, whether they're uncomfortable or hiding something or whatever. Eye contact is a conscious connection between two people. Deliberately not making eye contact has meaning too.

Aerith exposition. Lots of fidgeting. No eye contact. She seems like she's making small talk to avoid something. Even when Cloud faces her head on she quickly turns away again to stare off into the distance. Cloud remains in her peripheral vision only. When Aerith does turn to reassure Cloud, he looks away.

And after is the immortal line “Don't be silly” in response to Cloud's sarcasm. I mean, isn't she supposed to be the sweet one? So wouldn't her saying silly fit with her vocabulary? Or should she have said something like “Cloud, don't be a fucking moron” because she swore that one time and everyone erupted into cheers over it? Let's say it is a callback to Claudia, who somehow had a prophetic vision of Aerith being “the one”. Aerith didn't say “silly goose” which was the exact line Claudia said, so technically Aerith's only half of what Claudia suggested. If Tifa says “goose” at some point does that validate her being in the running too?

Yes, I'm being facetious. Point is, unlike the promise between Cloud and Tifa when it was Tifa reusing her own words, this relies on Aerith having meta knowledge of what Claudia said to Cloud when he was 16 and Aerith was with Zack. So, with that in mind, why would Aerith care what Claudia had to say about some other guy she doesn't even know when she's already got a boyfriend? The implication of this is that Aerith already knew everything that would happen to Zack and she'd already moved on from him to Cloud before they ever met and yet she kept writing letters to Zack the whole time.

But then after meeting Cloud she decided to take him up on the slide and talk about her dead boyfriend...as a way to let him know she's single?

This is Cloud's face when Aerith says in a perky voice “You worried about me?” This is the bit where he says “Of course.” It's a very neutral expression tbf. There's not anything being given away and the way he says the line is very simple too. Nothing suggests he's revealing a big secret to her or that he's embarrassed by his concern. I'd say it's SOLDIER!Cloud at rest since we know from the devs that Cloud still puts on a front with Aerith because he doesn't know how to deal with her. Which is typical for Cloud since he's emotionally 16 and never dealt with girls.

That perky persona visibly drains from Aerith's face and body language. Her posture sags, she breaks eye contact, she looks sad. This is the image of someone who isn't happy to hear that Cloud's worried about her. Now, if she was into the whole ship wouldn't she be happier to hear that line from him? She's regretful and turns away again, using her body as a barrier to any possible intimacy.

I'm sure people disagree, so imma explain. If she'd turned her back that would be an outright rejection. She'd be fully closing herself off. By turning away, she's indicating the conversation isn't over, but her degree of attention on Cloud is less than if she'd face him head on. If she stayed facing him, then that builds intimacy since face to face is open body language which can have several interpretations – some of which I've mentioned before like confrontational when Cloud steps up to Rude. When it's between a couple, it's suggestive of building intimacy and trust.

And when Cloud takes a step towards Aerith, she steps away again, towards the lifestream in the distance. Not permitting the closing of distance is a sign she doesn't want to encourage intimacy with him. That she walks towards where the lifestream is means that's where her attention and focus is. Whether that's an overarching plot reason or from a “Zack is there” reason is up to your interpretation.

Another immortal line. Considering Aerith just stepped towards where we can see the lifestream and that she's taking up her priestess pose we can reasonably assume she's thinking of Zack, unless you're once again subscribing to the theory that she's meta!Aerith aware of her own death and speaking of that. In which case, yall need to make up your minds whether she's one or the other because you can't swap between the two when it suits you just to justify your arguments.

When Cloud says “I'll remember that” in response to Aerith's advice that “every moment matters” it definitely comes across as one of those character building life lessons that Cloud's had over the course of the game. He got one from Barret about how not everyone has a choice to run away, one from Marle about listening to others and caring and now he's got one from Aerith about making the time they have count. These are mentor moments.

But more importantly, look who Aerith's looking at when she says that line. It's not Cloud, not the lifestream. Us. The players. She is talking to us. This isn't just wisdom for Cloud, it's for us, too.

After a 9 second pause from Aerith, in which she looks at the ground, Cloud offers a suggestion of what she wants to say next. She seems very lost in thought during this time, and almost reluctant to speak. Considering she always seems to know what to say in any given situation, this is off. This very long pause is the longest she's been silent in the whole game. It's notable. She almost seems to be warring with herself as her eyes narrow and she subtly shifts from side to side.

I may well be wrong about the length of time she’s silent. It could be 7 seconds in a callback to the 7 seconds it took for Sephiroth to drop and kill her in OG.

I'm one of those who does subscribe to the whole OG!Aerith vs meta!Aerith theories – which I stick to throughout every scene involving her so don't even try and @ me and say I'm a liar – and to me, this looks like OG Aerith trying to assert dominance over the situation, while meta Aerith wants to refuse.

When Cloud speaks, Aerith looks grateful for the cut in. It pulls her out of that warring state, while he's trying to look cool and mature still lol (dork)

Okay, so that whole speech she gives about thanking him is definitely coming off like she's aware of things she shouldn't know yet. This may be what OG!Aerith was trying to prevent her from saying. This isn’t something that Cloud should know yet, after all.

After some physical humming and hawing, eyes downcast, then glancing away and we get a shot of her feet – remember all of this is intentional to build a story here – she looks up and we get this line that's making certain people freak out with joy.

Quick lesson on intonation.

Intonation is the rise and fall – the pitch – of how you say certain words. The way you say them gives them their meaning. You can say the same words in many different ways to convey different meanings and/or emotions.

I've previously focused on Aerith's choice of the word “can't” here because this is the key word in the phrase.

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how certain people are interpreting this line to turn it into a positive. The word “can't” is synonymous with an impossibility. It means “there are specific reasons why this isn't possible.”

Aerith didn't say “Don't” as in “you shouldn't”. She said “can't” as in “not able to”. She is telling Cloud that he's not able to love her. The specific intonation on the word “can't” supports this evidence. If yall wanna examine it more closely then I suggest you turn the sound down slightly so it's actually harder to hear the whole sentence and see which words have more emphasis. Can't has specific emphasis, which wouldn't be there if she wasn't stressing the word.

As for her facial expression. I mean, this doesn't look like the earlier one where she's sad or regretful. This is matter of fact. She's telling him this as a kindness because he's not yet aware of the reasons that she is.

(Note: I didn't say which specific reasons because some of yall say it's her death and others say it's Tifa, so that's up to you. There's reasons, is my point).

So up until she said that, Cloud was actually looking at her. But this made him turn away in dismissal. Not with embarrassment. He's not caught out and flustered. He's SOLDIER!Cloud, remember? He's all front and super cool facade.

This isn't the first time a girl has thrown herself at him. Jessie did it too, only more ott. Cloud's used to brushing off girls and does it without effort.

I'm sure up to this point some people have been screaming about how biased I've been and unfair and this is so cloti (excuse me while I roll my eyes).

So, if I'm biased why am I about to point out that the above screen is real!Cloud popping in for a visit? This is him overriding the SOLDIER persona to question if Aerith might have a point. But not about her. About Tifa. Because within the previous few hours, Cloud and Tifa shared an intimate moment. And it wasn’t soldier Cloud who did that. It was real Cloud. Aerith is calling attention to real Cloud’s feelings for Tifa, which makes him look to the house where Tifa is sleeping. He gets soft eyed and starts to smile, but then seems to want to question himself, which we know isn’t a good idea. Real Cloud and Soldier Cloud aren’t ready to meet yet.

And while real!Cloud is busy debating with SOLDIER!Cloud about Aerith's words, she's approached completely silently – because, ykno, she's not actually there – and he's caught sight of her hand in his peripheral vision. The second she touches him he jerks back looking surprised. This wasn't a telegraphed move where he saw it coming from 10 feet away and chose to do nothing.

I also question that if he can feel her hand here then it's solid, but when he goes to grab her it's not? So, she chose to let him feel the first touch, but then rejected him grabbing her? Or is it more likely that having caught sight of her hand in his peripheral vision he didn't actually feel her touch his face then or the time after because Aerith's not there. There's no actual physical interaction between them.

This is pity. Not much else to say about it. Meta!Aerith knows Cloud's future and that by introducing these future concepts to him, she's causing confusion ahead of the time it should happen. She feels bad about that and probably about her OG behaviour that she had no control over thanks to the Whispers forcing her to go against her real nature.

Well, I was going to say that Cloud going to grab her wrist – not her hand – is just further proof of her intangible presence. She isn't someone he can hold onto. But having grabbed this screen it's clear he wouldn't have grabbed her wrist at all either. His hand is open and aimed at her forearm and already passing through her well before he tries to close it.

And the reason why goes back to the ghost thing. Cloud thought she wasn’t there in person, that she might be dead or it’s a dream, but then she touched him. So he wants to grab her the same way he did Jessie in the pillar, to try and keep her alive. But his hand goes through her and he’s left looking confused again.

“Do I get a say in all this?”

Well now. That's a bit different. I'm sure like everyone else we've all been convinced that Cloud said “Don't I get a say in this?” like he's arguing with Aerith's decision. That he's admitting he's already in love with her.

“Do I get a say in all this?” is a totally different kettle of fish.

Don't connotates a confrontational tone. It's argumentative. It's rejecting whatever previous statement was made.

Do is a question. It's inquisitive. Placid. Neutral. It's neither confirming, nor denying the previous statement. It's merely asking for more information.

Funny how those little word replacements some people use end up twisting the narrative.

Cloud’s not just speaking about Aerith’s most recent statement either. He’s talking about the whole conversation they just had. The possibility that she’s dead or dying and he doesn’t get any choice about it. This is a throwback to the OG theme of life and death and how the dying get to say goodbye and decide how to leave, while the living don’t and have to figure out how to move on from it afterwards.

Anyway, Cloud has his back to us, so we don't even know if that's coming from SOLDIER!Cloud or real!Cloud, so that's up for debate and I won't even bother since he's got his back to us and we can't see either way.

And then we've got the cool SOLDIER!Cloud (screen) telling Aerith he's gonna save her. We already know that Cloud does his best to sound cool and confident when talking to Aerith because he doesn't know how to be himself around her. This is the kind of line you'd expect to hear from him.

She replies, “If that's what you want.” which is also very non-specific. It's a neutral statement that leaves things up to Cloud. It could imply an answer to the previous question he asked, since the two do stand beside each other and make sense. However, the interjected “It's almost morning” line breaks this up and makes it less of an impactful statement from her. She's done her upmost to neutralise any romantic context from this scene.

Conclusion

If yall saw romance then okay, you must be right.

I sure af didn't. I saw a regretful Aerith telling Cloud things he shouldn't be aware of yet, feeling more regretful for confusing someone who's already suffering from mental illness and then making non-committal statements that neither reject or encourage his attention.

Maybe she's regretful for her own sake as well, knowing what she does about him and still doing this to push some future narrative only she's aware of, but I wouldn't say this is romantic. It's clearly some kind of goodbye from her. Cloud, for his part, looks confused and guarded through most of the scene. There's one moment when his real self peeks out to question Aerith's meaning, but then he's gone again. We can't say for any certainty that his question was asked by his true self or his SOLDIER persona and without visual context I won't speculate.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #Chapter 14 resolution A #Cloti #Zerith #Tagging you guys cause you might find it interesting #Not gonna tag the other guys

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donkey-hyuck · 4 years

Text

♫ playlist ♫

word count- 1777

chapter warnings- talk about death (very very brief)

series masterlist!

⤷⤷ prologue ➤ chapter one ➤ chapter two ➤ ✵chapter three✵ ➤ chapter four ➤ chapter five ➤ ✵chapter six✵ ➤ chapter seven ➤ |you’re here| ➤

𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙈𝙀𝙍: everything that is written is purely fiction and does not depict reality :)

«────── « ⋅ʚ🔥ɞ⋅ » ──────»

once you felt freshened up— and ready to face huang renjun himself— you unlocked the bathroom door and you were immediately met with the ceo pacing around the room constantly running his fingers through his hair. and when he finally looked at you, you noticed the look of pure stress and exhaustion written on his face.

he stumbled with his words a bit, “uhm, there’s clothes on the bed. they’re my sisters and— uh, and you can wear them. so… yeah, i’ll leave now.” before exiting the room and closing the door a little too hard. staring at the white wood door, you think about the man before shaking off whatever thoughts were in your head and getting dressed. surprisingly enough, there were a pair of undergarments that were hidden underneath the pile of pajamas which made you lead to thoughts you did not want to think about. it just gave you the shivers.

after changing the clothes and judging your physical appearance in the, what seemed like, eight foot tall glass mirror, you opened the bedroom door and huang renjun was still there. sitting on a bench a little down the hall but on the opposite side of the bedroom you were in. the expression worn on his face looked as though he was in the waiting room of a hospital, expecting the birth of his child. but in reality, he was anxious about you. huang renjun was anxious about you and your safety. how you were doing and if you were still shaken up by what just happened not even two hours ago. he was scared to face you, but you weren’t. it was shocking for him to see that you were no longer crying, that you were no longer scared. and it was shocking to you as well, that you were not shouting at him or cussing him out. it was all just a blur but you wanted to talk it out. you wanted to know the truth.

the two of you ended up in the room. renjun was sitting on the floor, legs scattered and hair aloof; while you were sitting on the bed, legs crossed and lip caught in between your lips. both of you were staring down in your laps and fiddling with your fingers. the entire time the ceo was talking and opening up about his life, you stayed quiet. no words exited your mouth, not even a small sigh. that was up until his story ended and moments of silence had passed.

“was i purposely made to be a part of your plan tonight?” you asked, slowly and looked up to him. when he heard the question come out of you with ease, his life flashed before his eyes and sat up on his knees and crawled to where you were. his eyes were wide opened as he cupped your face with his cold hands and tears flooded his eyes once more. then his brows furrowed as a single drop of his tears fell down his face, “how could you ask that? i know i was moving relatively fast but you were never an object i deliberately wanted to put in danger. you mean more to me than that. even if we just met, you’re special to me, y/n.” his hand traveled down to the side of your neck and he wrapped his arms around you, bringing your body in a hug.

and for some reason you believed him. you didn’t know if he was manipulating you or if he was being honest. but you shushed him by continuing to wrap your arms around his frail body and patted his back to help with the comfort. “hey…. it’s okay. i believe you. but look, we’re both here, safe and sound. we made it out there alive even if there was a measly chance we wouldn’t.” his sobs briefly came to a stop before looking up at you with his red eyes. the scene currently was the opposite of what was happening in the car, and if future renjun was watching this, he would surely laugh at himself in pity.

“but what if we didn’t? what if we-” he was cut off by you pressing your lips against his. you don't know why you did what you did but you came to the conclusion that kissing him would be the best option. and it definitely shut him up real quick. renjun was quick to respond to your lips but you stopped it before it could have gotten inappropriate or weird.

“but we’re still here, yeah? the both of us are together, even if we don’t know much about each other we are still together.” and if renjun wasn’t the gentleman he was, he would have definitely taken you right then and there but he held himself back, he didn't do that. so much has happened that night that all he wanted to do was shower, have a proper dinner with you, and rest as much as he could. because the two of you were there together; perhaps not happy, but undoubtedly not upset or angry. just peaceful.

that night, the two of you enjoyed some cheap takeout food that was damn good going in, but maybe not so good coming out. however the neither of you cared, renjun wanted to learn more about you and he then cussed himself out for being so sneaky about asking his friends to look up everything about you. it was kinda stalkerish, but renjun won’t admit that to you. if fact, he could have sucked up his balls and talked to you like a normal person (though he wasn’t really a ‘normal’ person). you learned that renjun was a lone world, as some people called it. his family never really approved of his work— whether that’d be him being a ceo or him being a part of the mafia but none of that really mattered anymore, his family had already left him before they even gave him a chance. he was involved with something that was way too life risking, and they let him live his life alone. now he hopes to have you enter his life and be there for the rest of eternity, no matter how long eternity was.

the night was spent well. the two of you were laughing and having a good time, drinking some alcohol and playing around. you found out that the ceo was more loveable and vulnerable than he puts out to be. but that was his image and he didn;t want to change that, even if it were for you.

—

he dropped you off back at your apartment the next morning and you were met with hyunwoo looking at his watch and tapping his feet to the ground. when he heard the pounce of footsteps on the carpet behind him, he looked back and looked so pissed off. “y/f/n, where the fuck were you last night? haneul and i called you a bajillion times and you didn’t pick up once, couldn’t even send a text message to tell us you were okay!” his tone was rising higher and worried. “weren’t you with ceo huang last ni-” you pushed your hand against his month to cover what he was going to say and dragged him into your apartment to talk. you sat him on the couch after looked out the door to see if anyone heard what your friend blurted to the entire world.

“...listen, we did go out last night. but,” you paused your sentence after raising your voice in defense, “we didn’t do anything! i just drank a little too much and bawled my eyes out to him. he insisted on taking me home but i guess i wanted to stay at his house…?” you were surprised to come up with a half-ass lie that just rolled off the tip of your tongue. and thankfully, your way too gullible friend believed what you were saying after giving you a disgusted look.

“you could have just told us. haneul and i were worried that something happened to the two of you. or, well, just you, but you get what i’m saying,” he breathed out making you laugh. “don’t worry, the ceo made sure i was okay and helped me before dropping me off earlier.” and hyunwoo was already on his phone ready to call haneul to inform her that everything was okay and not to worry— he also told her to come over, not that you minded anyway.

as expected, when you and (mostly) hyunwoo told her everything that happened, she freaked. completely and utterly freaked the fuck out. and she, too, believed every word that exited her friends' lips. the entire day was filled by the continuous screaming coming from your two friends that could not get over the fact that you wooed the ceo of ‘huang&co.’ they nagged you to treat him right since he was the number clothing ceo in the world.

“uhm… what about me? shouldn’t you guys be telling him to take care of me? he’s the ceo that can get anything he wants; i’m just an intern at a company. you should be more worried about him treating me right rather than him treating me right,” you whined to them and ran your fingers through your hair.

“yeah that’s true, but based on what you told us about him, he seems to care a lot about you, y/n. like, that man cares about you a fuck ton,” reasoned hyunwoo who was now looking at haneul waiting for her response. “that, and don’t worry. when we get the chance to see him, we’ll definitely tell him that he better take good care of you since you’re so special to us,” she then winked and gave you a finger heart as she blew an air kiss your way.

you wanted to side with them, but at the end of the day; he was the largest ceo and he was apart of the mafia. he could do anything to you or to them if any of you stood in his way. because as nice as he was, that was still his persona and he was still a deadly person; no matter how sweet and caring he was to you.

—

the young girl ran back. she ran back home with regrets filling her mind. but somehow, all she could think about was him. he was the sole reason she felt alive was because of him, but he was gone now. and the girl did not when he was to return. he left her alone and broken.

chapter seven ➤ chapter eight ➤ chapter nine

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @ichigofelix @moonbeamsung @heavenlyhuangs @kisshim @lixseu

#nct #nct dream #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct renjun #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream renjun #renjun scenarios #renjun x reader #renjun images #renjun angst #renjun au #huang renjun #nct series

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chroniccombustion · 4 years

Text

Butterflies in the Garden

Written for the ‘Fools in Love’ Persona Fan Zine (@personafoolsinlovezine)

Genre: soulmates, soulmate indentitpre-romance, M/M Rated: K Characters: Souji Seta (Yu Narukami), Akira Karusu (Ren Amamiya), Margaret, Izanagi, mentions of the IT Warnings: none Status: zine fic, oneshot; complete

Your name is Souji Seta, and you do not have a soulmate.

Even as a child, when your classmates started sprouting colors, Lover’s Marks around their wrists, Platonic Marks across their backs, your skin has always been blank. You used to watch the other children as they gleefully showed off their growing ink and giggled over whose Marks might match their own. You envied them at first. Now you just feel numb.

Over time you’ve come to accept your Mark-less existence. You don’t like it, you don’t want it, but a lifetime of changing schools and absent parents means you’re no stranger to being alone. Eventually you just stop caring. At least, you tell yourself you’ve stopped caring; it’s easier than facing the gaping void of loneliness threatening to choke you whenever your guard is down.

Maybe this is better, you think. Maybe your lack of Soul Marks is the universe’s way of helping you deal with the isolation in your everyday life.

(You chant your “maybe’s” in your head and stop crying yourself to sleep by the time you reach age 9.)

---

Your flowers finally bloom when you turn 16.

A year is spent in a rural town called Inaba, where, for the first time in your existence, you actually feel alive. There are murders, a mystery, but in between the stress and combat there are people, and as you slowly get to know them you can feel your garden grow.

They start as tingles across your shoulder blades, the sensation of warm water spreading like ink along your skin. You wake one morning to find stems and buds. You wake the next to petals and leaves. Sunflowers for the Magician, hyacinth and amaryllis for the Chariot and Priestess. Gladiolus, then pink roses; lilac, then iris. There is freesia for your cousin, a dahlia for her dad. An entire field of Platonic Marks springs up almost overnight, and little by little they bury the emptiness beneath vibrant shades of love until you’re covered neck to waist in watercolor blooms.

But for all the tattooed beauty of the flowers on your back there is still a blank spot on your canvas, and the colors fade in sadness on the day you have to leave.

---

You stop dreaming about the Velvet Room when you move back to Tokyo. You miss it, the way you miss everything else about Inaba, but your contract has been fulfilled and the logical part of you knows you have to readjust to life as a normal person. It takes ages, but you begrudgingly fall back into your boring, lonely life. You clutch at your shoulders when it gets to be unbearable; when texts and calls to your garden of friends just aren’t enough, you find your fingers searching out the comfort of the blossoms on your back.

Months pass by the time you’ve finally accepted that you’ll never see the liminal blue dreamscape again, and it’s because of this that you’re so completely unprepared for the night when, out of absolutely nowhere, you feel that familiar sensation of falling just as you’re drifting asleep.

“Honored friend,” comes the silvery-sweet voice of Margaret in your ear. “May I ask a personal favor?”

You do not hesitate, you simply tell her, “yes.”

The world around you is cold and harsh when feeling returns to your body. You open your eyes to find yourself in a… cage? Stumbling to the bars, you look out into the blue-tinted room beyond your cramped enclosure and realize that you are not in a cage, but a prison.

The walls curve away from you in a circle of cells too dark to see inside, but from what you can tell, the center of the space is empty.

Someone lurks behind you in the dark; you do not need to turn to know who it is. “There is something wrong with the Velvet Room,” Margaret whispers over your shoulder. “I cannot seem to contact my Master and I fear this new guest may be in danger.” You hear her move, hear the creak of her Compendium as it opens.

Faintly, from all the way across the room in the cell directly opposite yours, there comes the sound of rustling chains. Instinctively you step back into the safety of the shadows as a figure, clad in white-and-black prison garb, shuffles up to the bars of that distant cell. You cannot make out features, only the monochrome of skin and charcoal hair.

“Hello?” the figure calls, and the voice is male.

“Hello?!” he calls more insistently, voice hitching in building unease. “Is anyone there?”

You don’t like this. You don’t like what the Velvet Room’s become and you don’t like that there’s a boy in chains across from you in the empty dark. “Let me help,” you whisper, eyeing the oppressive space around you with creeping dread. “This isn’t right, let me help.”

You practically feel Margaret’s smile. “I was hoping you’d offer.” The Compendium snaps shut.

Something rises from your soul: an old, familiar presence that you nearly weep to feel again, lightning-charged and sizzling through your veins like a pulse. There’s a surge of ethereal blue light and past the glow, through a pair of eyes not quite your own, you see the boy in the other cell take a step backwards in shock.

When the light dims, Izanagi stands triumphant in the center of the room.

Through your Persona’s vision you see the boy more clearly. He’s roughly your age, with curling black hair and wide dark eyes set in a beautiful, seraphim face. He stares up at you-not-you in fear and awe and somewhere in the back of your head you hear Izanagi’s voice like a rumbling, distant storm.

I am thou.

But thou are not I.

The boy’s bow furrows in frustrated confusion. “I don’t understand.”

You watch through Izanagi’s eyes as he silently appraises the boy in the cell. Eventually you feel him nod.

You’ll do.

The world glows white-hot.

There’s a sensation of something shifting – relocating – and suddenly you’re blind. In place of your sight, however, comes an acute awareness of someone else, like your awareness of Margaret behind you only stronger, deeper, like you’re somehow folded up in another person and they in you. Any hollow place that once existed within you is gone, filled to the brim with this feeling of him, the boy who now holds the most profound piece of your soul.

It’s the most intimate thing you’ve ever felt in your life and you are very nearly brought to tears.

Your vision fades back in, leaving you once more inside your own body, and from across the way you can see the boy staring at his hands in pure wonder. He flexes his fingers, brings them up to press against his chest as if he’s feeling for something past his sternum. He looks up, and those dark, wide eyes meet yours.

“Who are you?” he whispers, but you feel it in your head all the same.

You get no chance to answer. Margret’s hand is on your shoulder before you can open your mouth, and into your ear she murmurs, “It’s best if we leave now, honored friend.”

You want to protest, shake her hand off, shout your name back at the boy and ask for his, but your body feels weightless, detached from your surroundings, and you blink to find the room around you blurring at the edges.

You wake up alone in the physical world, blinking away fresh tears. The feeling of completeness is still there, though, and as you stare up at the ceiling and focus, you can just make out the faint stirrings of Izanagi from somewhere far away. “Come back,” you whisper to the boy that cannot hear you. “Please …”

When the sun rises a few hours later, flooding your bedroom with light, you notice something beneath the cuff of your shirtsleeve. There, on your left wrist, in brilliant cyan-blue, is a Lover’s Mark in the shape of a swooping butterfly.

---

Life doesn’t change too much. You weren’t sure if it would because you’ve never had a soulmate before and don’t know what it’s meant to feel like, but the garden on your back hadn’t really changed anything either, so you suppose this is normal. Something that does change is the way you can sense his emotions whenever they’re strong enough.

Determination comes through a lot, as does defiance. You wonder what kind of life your soulmate is living where he’s constantly on edge, constantly tense or stressed. Anxiety and anger are common as well, and you don’t like that the negative emotions are what you get most often because you can’t tell if they’re what he feels the strongest or what he feels most frequently. Neither one is good.

You worry for him, send him thoughts of strength where you can, whisper, “you’ll get through this, I believe in you” into the butterfly, and pray that it reaches him when he needs it. You don’t know him, not even his name or where he is, but you’ve wanted him your whole life and now that you know he exists you already want to protect him. Sometimes there’s a flicker of something in return, but you can’t make out what it is.

There are times, however, when you swear you can feel his happiness. It’s soft, more focused than the other emotions, and always at night when you’re lying in bed thinking. There’s something like longing hiding in there as well, and you know this because you’ve known forever what longing feels like. The butterfly on your wrist tingles with warmth; you dare to hope it means he’s thinking about you, too.

It’s during those witching-hour moments, when you’re alone with the memory of dark eyes and even darker curls, that you press your palm over your new Lover’s Mark and pour every ounce of yearning and curious affection from your heart into this budding bond between you. You like to imagine that the faint, giggly joy you feel afterwards is him answering you back.

But your luck always runs out.

You awake in a feverish sweat one terrible, soul-rending night in November, with after-images of torture flashing behind your eyes and fear crackling in your ribs like Izanagi’s being torn apart from the inside out. It doesn’t let up even after you blink away the nightmare, and your entire body shakes violently with adrenaline not wholly your own.

You gasp into the darkness, searching for any scrap of familiar feeling you can use as an anchor to ground the both of you on either side of the bond. All you feel is chaos, a steady stream of spectral pain. You curl in on yourself then, instinctively wrapping your hand over the butterfly and clutching until your knuckles turn white. “I’m here,” you whisper, hoping against hope that he can hear you. “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here…”

There’s a feeling like something slotting between the fingers of your left hand, like someone is desperately gripping it, and you clench your fist in response as if you could hold his hand from far away and not let go. You stay that way until everything fades into a drug-like silence, sobbing against your Lover’s Mark and rocking back and forth until well after dawn.

Later, as you’re sluggishly getting ready for school with the morning news in the background, it’s announced that the leader of the infamous Phantom Thieves killed himself last night while in police custody. Somehow, with a gut-dropping surety that you cannot explain, you know.

You don’t go to classes that day – instead, you crawl back into bed in a daze and lay there with your lips pressed against the faded butterfly, your heart freezing over inside your chest.

---

Your Mark is silent after that.

Your hope begins to dim to embers, not yet dead but slowly dying as the months roll by. Sometimes, at night, it feels like maybe there’s still something there – an echo of lonely sorrow ghosting across your soul, but it always vanishes too quickly for you to catch. No matter how fervently you plead afterwards, there is never any response.

You look for solace in denial; old “maybe’s” sit like poison in your mind and you quickly discard them when all they do is make you sick. You cling to your garden of platonic flowers, but even they bring little comfort now that you’ve had a glimpse of something deeper.

Ever observant, your Magician is the first to notice your despondence. He calls you, asks if you’re okay, doesn’t believe you when you tell him you are. He calls again later to say he’s bought a train ticket to Tokyo for spring break, and despite your hollowness the sunflowers on your back grow a little brighter at the news.

March arrives and with it comes your friend, his presence a balm to your shattered heart. You talk for hours, catching up those months spent apart and, miserably, you tell him about your once-vibrant Lover’s Mark. It’s grey now, the color all but gone in your despair, and you’re grateful when he empathizes but doesn’t ask to see.

Three days into his visit you’re… better, so he drags you off to Shibuya for a change of scenery. It’s fun, hours passing with easy laughter, and you realize you’d forgotten what it felt like not to hurt.

You’re halfway to the arcade when it happens.

Out of nowhere comes a sharp, stinging pain – it lances up your arm, tracing the lines of your butterfly like lightning, and Izanagi roars to life inside your soul.

Go.

You run.

You don’t know your destination, nor how your feet know where to go; it doesn’t matter. You follow the pull inside your heart, letting Izanagi direct you left, right, straight for a block then down into an empty, open alleyway, heedless of your Magician calling out behind you.

Then Izanagi’s presence abruptly disappears.

You stumble to a halt. Heart hammering and confused, you nearly miss the sound of pounding footsteps steadily coming closer until they’re just beyond the opposite entrance to the alley. You turn as a figure rounds the corner—

and freeze.

Wide eyes stare at you from behind crooked glasses, dark beneath darker curls in a beautiful, seraphim face. “You,” he whispers, taking a step towards you.

And then you’re both moving. You meet as one in a tangle of grasping desperation, tugging at each other’s wrists to reveal an identical pair of butterflies in shining, brilliant blue. Your fingers in his hair, his arms around your waist, and somewhere in the middle your lips connect in a kiss that feels and tastes like home.

“You’re alive,” you nearly sob when you pull apart, at the same time he murmurs in awe, “you’re real.”

Your name is Souji Seta, and you are 17 when Akira Kurusu calls you his soulmate.

#fanfic #fanfiction #soukira #banpego #pegoban #fools in love #zine fic #persona #persona 4 #persona 5 #p4 #p5 #soulmates #souji seta #yu narukami #akira kurusu #ren amiyama

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mara-dine · 4 years

Text

On P5R ending (true end) song v.2 - translation and analysis

part one was here - I’m only feeling things here but still xD

Okay so first of all, the following translation of the song lyrics is made by me so if you somehow want to copy paste them somewhere, please link the source, thank you <3 The original japanese and translated lyrics you can find at the very end of this post.

My point here is to prove that the lyrics are Akiren’s feelings towards what happens with Akechi so the post is going to contain some Persona 5 Royal spoilers. It gets a bit shippy.

And now let’s get this party (of feels) started.

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I need to say this - I had a second of doubt there, because I thought those lyrics could as well suit Yoshizawa sisters, if one wanted to dig that way. It doesn’t though, because the subject/narrator is using the 僕 (boku) pronoun, which is reserved for males. If the lyrics were meant to be gender neutral or so, the more neutral 私 (watashi) would be used. That’s why I’m 100% sure it’s from Akiren’s perspective, and I will only give you more proof ;)

Let’s start-start.

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Our light

That night I realized my dream was (just) a dream, I close my eyes fixated on you. The warmth, hands one on another, the voice, if I wake up it will all disappear into a dream.

The whole thing is kept within the dream-reality contrast. The night here is, I think, more metaphorical than anything, since it’s deepening the symbolism and refers to the association of night and dreaming.

It doesn’t have to, though, since at the very beginning of the new arc, Akiren ‘wakes up’ in the school, wearing his inmate clothes, thinking something is wrong and that he needs to go back. He follows the butterfly which we know is supposed to be the form Lavenza takes in the places she can’t fully materialize in.

I think it isn’t such a literal reference though. I’d say it refers to Akiren noticing the weird things happening around him, realizing they weren’t like this before and they should be impossible. Then we jump straight into gay the moment Akechi walks into Leblanc. Akiren can’t help but be surprised, he stares at the detective, who is supposed to be held at the police station or wherever his interrogations are being held at the time. He closes his eyes, as if to hold the image of Akechi being there in his mind for longer.

I think the next line is pretty obvious and really surprising, if we agree on my little theory, because it straight up tells us about Akiren’s feelings. Akechi, who was supposed to be dead in the first place, comes back into his life for the second time this... week I think. Akechi, who Akiren has a really strong bond of rivalry and at the same time deep mutual understanding with. He wishes for Akechi to continue being a part of his life, as he gives him the kind of stimulation no one else does. Akechi is very, very special to him. You can basically say, he is Akiren’s dream.

Even if we can’t ever meet again, even if the time we spent together transforms into pain, Please guide me with that pain, towards the night sky full of stars that illuminate me.

Now we are thrown into the hole of pain and suffering. We got to know that Akechi’s miraculous return is Maruki’s doing. Akechi is Akiren’s justice arcana, not only because he always speaks of justice and sticks to his own. He is a sort of counterweight and at the same moral compass to Akiren, they complement each other in many ways. Interacting, sharing thoughts, getting to know each other, it all leads both of them to build up even more resolve to stick to their own justice. So, even if Akiren decides to reject Maruki’s offer, not folding, not running away, following through with his own justice and his own truth, even if it means he is going to lose Akechi again, and the memories of the time they spent together will transform into pain, even then, Akechi will still continue to be his guiding light. He will always remember him, he sort of wishes for Akechi too look over him from... well, I guess, the afterlife. He will always live in Akiren’s heart as pain and regret of not being able to be together more, not being able to save him, but also as everything he was to him while still alive.

I was able to meet you in that sweet, sweet fairytale kingdom in distorted world. You quietly closed the mouth that said “even if it’s false happiness, it’s okay”.

This line is a bit more complicated than it looks like in English (actually, the whole song is like this, but if I started to explain all the hidden meanings and my translation choices it would take too much). I need to say here though, in the original it’s 甘い甘い (amai amai) which can actually mean two things. It’s used both as sweet and naive. I chose to use sweet here twice, but I think in japanese it’s supposed to be a bit ambiguous, as naivety is something Akechi often accuses Akiren (and other people) of, even if not directly (ex. there is this line of his where he says Akiren coming just to see him is ‘brainless sentimentality’).

The fairytale kingdom is of course a way to refer to Maruki’s perfect world where all dreams come true, it’s one way to see it. The other is distorted world, and it’s ultimately how the people who are aware of it’s falsehood view it. This way of putting the contrasting views together shows the dilemma Akiren stands before. He needs to confront it and make a choice, which in any outcome will result in gaining one thing and losing another.

Then, a really important line, one of a few that adress someone (Akechi) as ‘you’. In japanese it’s expressed through the verb that can mean close (something) up as well as shut (someone) up which I think is amazing in a way, since the Black Mask Akechi would rather shut up this mouth full of lies. There is an omanotopeic adjective there though, which indicates he did it quietly, gently. At first I thought it’s literal. That it’s about Akechi shutting up Maruki, so his words won’t affect Akira, since the thing there is basically a quote, it’s also gramatically written that way in the lyrics. But the quietly/gently thing kept bothering me, and I think in the end it’s like this: Akiren, in his heart, was tempted to agree to Maruki’s deal, to his perfect world. But Akechi, holding on to his own beliefs and resolve, made Akiren realize he can’t disrespect his wishes by being selfish. Akechi kept fiercely rejecting Maruki’s world, not wanting to be controlled by someone ever again, set on forging his own path, his own truth. Akiren couldn’t go against it.

It’s, I think, one of the reasons why this song plays only when you get the True End. It’s because you do things following Akechi’s wish, inspired by him to fight for the truth and the real.

When there comes a day when memories start, you will be gone, it’s the path you chose yourself, Even if walking it is always heartrending, towards the stars of tomorrow that I’m aiming for.

I think this part was the hardest of them all to translate, it’s again pretty ambiguous, not only because of the used words though, but the different ways you can chop the sentence at. You can translate it both as “it’s the part you chose yourself” or “the part one choses for themselves” and following this you can also chose to translate it in first person view as “the path I chose for myself”. I think all of them are pretty cool but I chose to follow the logic of the consequence, since it appears after yet another ‘you’ I decided to go with that. It also goes well with the thing about Akechi choosing his fate himself. He chose to reject Maruki’s world even if it meant he will disappear again, he strongly believed it’s better to die than live in a reality forged and controlled by someone else. He made that choice, like he made every other choice in his life before, aware of the consequences, even if they were painful to the point anyone else may have broken down. He doesn’t have any regrets, even if it’s hard and kills him in the end, because it’s the path of his own choosing.

‘The day when memories start’ it’s a pretty literal translation, but I’m fairly sure it’s about the fact that the time everyone spent in Maruki’s ideal world will be overwritten once again to how it should have gone if not for the distortion. So the day when the Phantom Thieves steal his treasure and defeat him is going to be the day when everything goes back to normal and the memories start being the true ones again, not falsified, and the false ones erased.

The stars of tommorow, the future, the goal both Akiren and Akechi are aiming for, even if their methods differ, is the same. Akiren hopes that if they continue going on, their paths will lead them to the same place, where they will be able to meet again.

When I wake up, the real world comes back, different than yesterday. Because the sadness is important, I’m going to keep on living tomorrow.

Now that the decision has been made and Maruki defeated, his treasure stolen, everything is going back to normal. Akiren wakes up in the real world again, it’s a different world than day before, because it’s the real one again. He thinks about Akechi, about the sadness engraved in his own heart, but he is going to keep going. He is going to keep his promise to Akechi. He is going to live with this sadness as it’s the memory of him, the proof that he lived and that he was important.

Even if we can’t ever meet again, even if the time we spent together transforms into pain, I’m going to overcome even this pain, greater than (the pain that comes from) surpassing the tears I shed

Akiren doesn’t cry, it’s not the way to remember Akechi. It’s hard, but even though his tears would naturally flow, he is surpassing them, he can only shed them in his mind. It’s in a way unfair. He can’t really speak to anyone about it, he can’t tell the true story, honestly there is probably noone who could understand the bond that was born between him and Akechi, who could understand Akechi himself. The pain of the loss is even greater than that though. He may never meet Akechi again, but he is set on keeping the promise they made till the end. Because now, it’s not the end, he will keep on going.

And I will grab it, perfectly clear sky, our light, floating eternally.

It’s very important, as it’s also the title of the song. ‘Our light’, the light that belongs to them both. The hope, the justice, the truth, the image of it clear as the perfectly clear sky. He will hold out his hand and grab it, he will keep it in his hands, his, mind, his heart. He won’t let go of it, it’s their mutual dream and goal, it’s something they share and something that will allow them to meet again.

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Thank you for reaching the end of this post... xD If you have any thoughts on it, don’t be shy to share!

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lyrics:

Our light

That night I realized my dream was (just) a dream, I close my eyes fixated on you.

The warmth, hands one on another, the voice, if I wake up it will all disappear into a dream.

Even if we can’t ever meet again, even if the time we spent together transforms into pain,

Please guide me with that pain, towards the night sky full of stars that illuminate me.

I was able to meet you in that sweet, sweet fairytale kingdom in distorted world.

You quietly closed the mouth that said “even if it’s false happiness, it’s okay”.

When there comes a day when memories start, you will be gone, it’s the path you chose yourself,

Even if walking it is always heartrending, towards the stars of tomorrow that I’m aiming for.

When I wake up, the real world comes back, different than yesterday. Because the sadness is important, I’m going to keep on living tomorrow.

Even if we can’t ever meet again, even if the time we spent together transforms into pain,

I’m going to overcome even this pain, greater than (the pain that comes from) surpassing the tears I shed

And I will grab it, perfectly clear sky, our light, floating eternally.

僕らの光

夢を夢と気づいた夜　君を見つめ瞼を閉じる

温もりも重ねた手も声も　目覚めれば微睡みへと消えて

僕らが二度と会えなくても　過ぎた時が痛みに変わっても

その痛みでね導いてよ　僕を照らす夜空の星へと

甘い甘いおとぎの国　君と会えた歪んだ世界

偽りの幸せでもいいと告げる口　君がそっと塞ぐ

思い出の始まる日になる　君が消えた自分で决めた道

歩くのさずっとせつなくても　僕の目指す明日の星へと

目覚めて現実が来る昨日と違う悲しみが大切だから明日を生きていく

僕らが二度と会えなくても過ぎた時が痛みに変わっても

その痛みさえ超えていくよ　流す涙乘り越えより高く

そして掴むよ　澄み切った空　永遠に浮かぶ僕らの光を

#persona 5 royal #persona 5 royal spoilers #p5r #p5r spoilers #persona 5 the royal #persona 5 the royal spoilers #ending song #true ending #true end #translation #akira kurusu #akiren #ren amiyama #akechi goro #goro akechi #akeshu #akira x akechi #akiren x akechi #joker x akechi

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ladytrelaw · 4 years

Text

Ursus’ Lotions, Potions, and Puppetry Chapter 3: Your Broken Children

It’s 1am!! Have a chapter update <3

Thanks @siren-of-the-renown for brainstorming the flower crown idea with me!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432372/chapters/62599669

“This one?”

“Buttercup. Like butter melting in your mouth.”

“That’s cheating!”

Grinpayne laughs at Dea’s scandalised tone, plucking the offending flower from her fingers and winding it into the half-formed crown in his lap. “It’s not cheating if that’s what it’s called! I didn’t name it.”

It’s a balmy afternoon, and they’ve been lying in the grass for an hour or so now, banished from the cart while Ursus tinkers with some potion or other. Neither of them mind; the cart is cosy in winter but stuffy in summer, and out here in the open air a languid sort of ease has fallen over them as they work their way slowly through the pile of wildflowers that Grinpayne brought back from his walk. What Dea does mind, however, is the way that Grinpayne has just wormed his way out of giving her a halfway decent description of the flower she held in her hand.

“It’s still cheating,” she says in as stern a voice as she can muster, but Grinpayne happily ignores her. He hums something under his breath as his nimble fingers work amongst the stems and petals of her crown, and she can’t stop herself from smiling. With a resigned sigh, she hovers her fingers once more over the flowers, landing on one with petals like crushed tissue paper and holding it up decisively. “This one?”

Grinpayne pauses his humming. “Chicory,” he says after a moment. “Like…” he holds the word thoughtfully on his tongue, and Dea imagines him tilting his head back to the sky as though he’ll find the right metaphor there floating above them. “Like arriving in a new town on a winter morning before anyone else is awake. When everything is so still and cold and quiet that the whole world feels like it’s holding its breath. Like it’s about to tell you a secret it’s never told anyone else.”

His voice is soft and in his words she’s transported; the chill winter air stroking her cheek, the frost crunching softly underfoot, the air tingling with something unknown, something magical. How, Dea thinks, with no small amount of scorn, could anyone ever expect her to long for her eyesight when she can see with all of her senses like this?

They move through the remaining wildflowers, the blossoms growing to life in her very hands as Grinpayne speaks; dandelions ringing with the mischievous shouts of street urchins, daisies bursting with the tangy sweetness of wild strawberries, and a pink flower that Grinpayne can’t name filling her lungs with the feeling of breathless exhilaration. “Like you’ve just run as fast as you can,” he says dreamily, “just for the thrill of it-”

He inhales sharply, a sound Dea knows too well, and she is instantly alert. “Grinpayne, your medicine-”

“It’s fine.” He says, a little too quickly. “Honestly, Dea, it’s…” he breathes deeply, once, twice, then exhales long and slow. “See? It’s gone. Just a twinge. Look, your crown is finished.”

Dea frowns, unconvinced, but Grinpayne’s breath doesn’t tremble, and when he nestles the crown amongst her hair his gentle fingers don’t shake, so she elects to believe him. The crown slips down to her ears and she reaches up to adjust it, the stems and stalks that Grinpayne has woven together an intricate pattern beneath her fingertips.

“Princess Dea,” he says, in a voice so pompous and ridiculous that she giggles despite herself. “With this crown of many colours I hereby proclaim you Queen of the Green Cart and All Its Kingdoms. Long may you reign. Hee Hoo Ha!”

He utters the royal cry so seriously that Dea bursts out laughing, covering her hand with her mouth as her shoulders shake, all thoughts of pain slipping happily away. She composes herself with some difficulty, and sits up straighter, tilting her chin to the sky the way she imagines nobles do.

“And what is your first order as Queen, Your Highness?” Grinpayne asks in his normal voice, though slightly muffled as he bows his head in deference.

“I should like a palace!” Dea says regally, and Grinpayne makes a contented noise of approval.

“Of course! The most grand in the country! And servants-”

“How many?”

“In their hundreds, Your Highness!” Grinpanye proclaims, and her lips echo the smile in his voice.

“And feasts!” she adds, adjusting her crown so that it sits more securely on her head. “Grand feasts-”

“Every night,” Grinpayne assures her, “with stuffed geese-”

“And wine-”

“And quails egg tarts-”

“And a whole roasted pig with an apple in its mouth!” Dea finishes, her regal persona falling apart completely as she is overcome with a fresh wave of giggles at the image she only knows from Urus’ fairy stories. She leans against Grinpayne, feeling his own shoulders shake with soft chuckles. But when their laughter tails off into silence, something else settles in its place, something darker. Dea can’t pretend she doesn’t know why they were both so quickly distracted by daydreams of food. It’s been days since they left Oxford, and hunger has become an unwelcome but constant hitchhiker in their little cart, clinging to each of them like a shadow.

“Father told me I have to go hunting with him today,” Grinpayne says softly after a moment, his thoughts clearly having travelled the same road as Dea’s own.

Ah. Guilt nips at Dea, and she tries desperately to school her features into neutrality, because the hunting trip is not news to her. In fact, it was she who had cornered a guilty Ursus in their cart that morning while Grinpayne was distracted outside; she who demanded that he make good on his promise to talk things through with his son; she who had suggested they go hunting in the first place. But of course, she’s not about to tell Grinpayne that.

“See if you can shoot me that wild boar for roasting,” she teases gently, before adjusting to more realistic standards with a wrinkle of her nose. “Or perhaps just a rabbit.”

“Doesn’t take two people to hunt a rabbit,” Grinpayne mutters, the slightest trace of petulance in his voice. Dea frowns, leaning back on her elbows, not daring to lie flat for fear of crushing her newly adorned crown.

“He wants to talk. That’s a good thing, Grinpayne, it’ll be good for you both.”

Grinpayne huffs unhappily, flopping down on his back in the grass next to her.

“What if I don’t know what to say?” he murmurs distractedly. “I can’t… I’ve already apologised-”

“Just talk,” Dea says gently. “You both want to fix whatever’s broken. You’ll find the right words.”

Grinpayne hums noncommittally, as though he doesn’t quite believe her. “So” he says after a moment, and Dea recognises from the tone of his voice that the conversation is over, for now. “This palace of yours, my Queen…”

***

Ursus steps outside, squinting in the sunlight after so long spent in relative gloom, a quiver and bow over one shoulder and a second pair held loosely in his hands. From the other side of the cart the gentle sound of voices floats on the breeze, and he trudges towards it, trying to keep the arrows from jangling together too much as he walks. Dea and Grinpayne don’t hear him approach, lying in the grass together and murmuring closely in that private way they do. A wreath of wildflowers is sitting wonkily in Dea’s hair, and Grinpayne is lying on his side next to her, plaiting blades of grass together absentmindedly. They look so relaxed, so calm, so young, that Ursus is tempted to sneak back around the cart before he is seen, to leave them to their afternoon and try again tomorrow. But it’s been four long days, and he's a little scared of what Dea will do if he waits much longer.

“Grinpayne.”

He’d meant to say it softly but it comes out clipped and brusque instead, and Grinpayne and Dea startle slightly at his sudden appearance, looking up with identical sets of wide eyes, one deep brown, one white. Almost immediately, a cloud moves over Grinpayne’s features, the air of calm relaxation that had surrounded him vanishing entirely. Dea also looks uneasy, disappointed at Ursus’ unintentionally stern tone, and he curses himself inwardly but there’s nothing to be done about it now. Wordlessly, he holds out the spare quiver and bow in his hands, trying not to rise to the way Grinpayne rolls his eyes so far back in his head that he seems at risk of losing them entirely. He pushes himself off the floor, muttering something to Dea as he goes, and Ursus bristles slightly. It had sounded far too much like ‘wish me luck’ for his liking, and somehow he doesn’t think Grinpayne is referencing the hunt. As he trudges towards Ursus and silently takes the proffered weapons, Ursus looks past him to Dea, still sitting cross-legged in the grass.

“We won’t be long. Keep Mojo close by and don’t talk to anyone.”

She scoffs a little, and Ursus wonders for a moment whether maybe she’s spending too much time with Grinpayne.

“I know, Father,” she says, fiddling with the flowers in her hair. “I’ll be fine.”

Ursus huffs, turning back to Grinpayne who is waiting with his quiver slung across his back, watching him with guarded eyes. “Ready?”

Grinpayne gives one short nod and Ursus hefts his bow, trudging past Grinpayne and leading them both off the road, into the woods beyond.

***

They’ve been going on hunting trips like this since Grinpayne was barely taller than the bow he's now carrying. In those early years he had driven Ursus to distraction by scampering through the trees and firing ten times more questions at his father than arrows at prey, but as he grew older he became a skilled and responsible hunting partner, and Ursus treasures the memory of those days more than he’d likely admit. Back then they’d walk together for hours in companionable silence, speaking only to point out a half-smudged paw print in the dirt, or a tuft of fur caught on a branch. With most of their time spent in the choking smog and cacophony of towns or cities, the woods became a sort of refuge for both of them. A sanctuary.

Things are very different now. They walk for a while without speaking, but the silence is heavy and brittle, each of them hyper aware of the movements of the other. Grinpayne walks ahead of Ursus, his shoulders high with tension, his footfalls unusually heavy. A few days ago Ursus would have snapped at him for the careless way he’s placing his feet when he knows Grinpayne knows better - his son can move totally silently when he wants to, slipping through winding streets and woodlands alike with all the noise of a shadow, all the presence of a ghost. But the days since they left Oxford have been long and tense, and, left alone with his thoughts in the dark of the night, Ursus’ anger has given way to a hollow sort of guilt.

He swallows nervously. He’s never been good with words, and he knows how much is riding on this conversation; knows how urgently he needs to bridge the gap that is growing ever wider between him and his son. The vision of Grinpayne on the ground in the square, hands coming up to protect his head as the furious crowd loomed over him, haunts Ursus nightly. If he’d arrived even a few minutes later… but that’s in the past, and it won’t do to dwell on it. They’ve both made mistakes recently, both been tetchy and short with each other, but Dea is right; it’s foolishness. He can fix this. He has to fix this.

***

He calls Grinpayne’s name, and watches as his shoulders tighten impossibly further, like he’s bracing for an attack. When he speaks, his voice is carefully neutral.

“I think the track goes this way-”

“Leave the track for a moment,” Ursus says, cutting him off. Grinpayne turns to face him with all the excitement of a man headed for the gallows.

“Father…” he starts, something almost pleading in his eyes. “I don’t… we don’t have to do this-”

“We have to have it out, my boy,” Ursus says grimly, though he’s fighting the urge to just abandon the whole idea now that he’s faced with actually, well, talking. “I can’t have another day of Dea pestering me-”

“Dea?” Grinpayne echoes incredulously, and Ursus realises his mistake a moment too late as he watches Grinpayne’s eyes widen, betrayal written as clearly across his face as if he’d scrawled the word in ink. He winces; another foot wrong, another mistake to add to his rapidly growing collection.

“She didn’t mean-” he starts, backpedalling, but Grinpayne cuts across him.

“I knew it, I knew you’d talk about me behind my back.” He mutters bitterly. “At least you tell me how much of a burden I am to my face.”

Well. That’s not fair. That’s not fair at all.

“For God’s sake, boy,” Ursus says frustratedly, “it’s exactly this that’s worrying her! All this constant sniping at each other-”

“And whose fault is that?” Grinpayne scoffs, folding his arms across his chest. It’s a challenge, plain as day, and Ursus subconsciously stands up taller in response, even as his heart thumps uneasily in his chest. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Both of us!” he replies, struggling to keep his voice level. “The fault lies with both of us-”

“It’s not my fault that you shouting at me upsets her,” Grinpayne interrupts coolly, eyes like tempered steel, and Ursus feels his resolve start to slip. If he can take responsibility for his part in this mess then so can Grinpayne, but instead he’s being childish and moody as usual, and Ursus tells him so. Grinpayne laughs, but it’s a cold, cruel sound; brittle and cutting.

“Oh, of course! Now you’re the reasonable one. When it suits you, when it comes to dear darling Dea, then you’re ever so logical.”

He rolls his eyes skyward again in the disrespectful way that has always annoyed Ursus, the way he knows annoys Ursus; the sight like a red scarf to a bull.

“What’s that supposed to mean-”

“It means -” Grinpayne sputters, losing some of his steely composure, “it… it means you act like you’re so calm and collected and I’m, I’m just this wild animal that can’t control himself but-”

“Behave like a wild animal and you’ll be treated like one.” Ursus growls, taking a step forward. He’s distantly aware that he’s fast losing control, that this is the opposite of what Dea wanted, what he wanted, but Grinpayne is being so unreasonable that the frustration flooding through his veins sweeps that thought away like driftwood on the tide. “How could you be so stupid, Grinpayne, you could have gotten yourself killed-”

Grinpayne begins to interrupt but Ursus cuts across him with a sharp noise of frustration, holding up a hand. “I should never have let you go on your own.” He snaps. “In fact I’ve half a mind to stop your shows altogether.”

From the way Grinpayne reacts, Ursus couldn’t have made a much worse threat. His eyes widen with horror, mouth dropping open in shock, but he recovers quickly and as he takes a step toward Ursus his features twist into something deeper than fear, something angrier.

“You can’t do that,” Grinpayne says darkly, though there’s a glimmer of something vulnerable in his eyes, something pleading behind the bravado. “You can’t take that away from us Father, it’s all we have, you can’t - ”

“If that’s what it takes to keep you safe then so be it!” Ursus says sharply, trying to regain some ground, but Grinpayne ignores him.

“I won’t let you break Dea’s heart like that!” He snarls, nearly shouting with frustration. “I know, alright, I know all of this is my fault, I know how much easier things would be for you if I just disappeared, but-”

He breaks off as suddenly as if he’d been struck, gasping as a shudder runs through his body, pain snatching his words away. It’s a familiar sight but that doesn’t make it any less painful to witness. Ursus starts forward automatically but Grinpayne staggers away, holding up a trembling hand to ward him off, and he stops short, heart pounding. It’s a moment before he registers what Grinpayne has just said, and when he does his blood runs cold.

“How can you say that?” he bites out, watching as Grinpayne leans on his knees, taking short, shallow breaths as he rides out the wave of pain. “How can you possibly, possibly think that I’d want that-”

“Because it’s true” Grinpayne growls, glaring up at Ursus. “It’s like you said, Father, everything that’s happened, everything that’s ever happened to us has been because of me, how could you not want me gone-”

“I have never said that,” Ursus sputters, choking on a sort of horrified fury. “Don’t you put words in my mouth, don’t you dare say-”

“You’ve never needed to say it!” Grinpayne snarls, forcing himself upright with some difficulty and taking an unsteady step towards Ursus. He reaches up to rip his bandages off with something wild in his eyes, something unfathomable, and dread sweeps over Ursus so strongly he almost chokes on it. As Grinpayne’s bandages fall away the dappled sunlight streaming through the canopy highlights every curl and dip of the jagged scar tissue gouged into his face like an awful spotlight, each gash and cut so familiar to Ursus, far too familiar, and he is struck utterly dumb.

“I can see it, Father, you can barely even look at me!” Grinpayne chokes, breath ragged, eyes glittering. “Life would have been so much easier for you if Mojo hadn’t found us that night, wouldn’t it?! If you didn’t have to drag this monster around with you? Look at me and tell me I’m wrong!”

Ursus opens and closes his mouth for a moment, rendered speechless. Because that’s it, isn’t it. That’s the wedge that’s been growing between the two of them like a tumour, that’s the knife that has twisted deeper into Ursus’ heart with each year that passes, the truth he has tried to ignore. Because as Grinpayne has grown older, as the puppy fat has melted off him and he’s grown into the tall, lean figure that stands trembling with rage and pain before Ursus now, it’s become so much easier to see who he could have been. The handsome young man he would have been, if not for that dreadful night so long ago. In some distant part of his brain Ursus realises, perhaps for the first time, the way that the pain buried so deeply in his heart has been festering; quickening his temper and shortening his patience; poisoning almost every conversation he has with Grinpayne. And as Ursus looks into his eyes, eyes that are searching desperately for reassurance even as they blaze with anger, he is dimly aware that he has a choice.

Perhaps a stronger, braver man than Ursus would choose differently. But then, a stronger, braver man than Ursus would not have the choice to make at all. He grits his teeth.

“You’re being childish,” He snarls. His heart cracks painfully as he watches a spark in Grinpayne’s eyes flicker and die, but he’s in too deep now, far too deep, and he sees no way out but through. The alternative, of truth, of confession, is too terrible to bear. “Take your medicine.”

“So you admit it?” Grinpayne pants, leaning on unsteady knees for support.

“I admit that you’re being a petulant, naive fool, yes, and you’re looking for another fight because clearly you didn’t learn your lesson the last time-”

“That has nothing to do with-”

“ENOUGH!”

Ursus’ shout echoes through the woods, and Grinpayne flinches back like he’s been slapped.

“We can never go back to Oxford now, do you understand that?!” Ursus rages, horrified at himself but entirely unable to stop, fear getting lost and muddled somewhere between his heart and his mouth and turning to ruthless fury. “Do you understand what you’ve done, boy, what we’ve lost?!”

“Father-” Grinpayne stammers, but Ursus ignores him.

“If you hadn’t got into that stupid fight the Duke might have let us stay, hell, if you hadn’t been doing the show at all he might not even have known you were there-”

“Father-”

“I’ve been such a fool, I should have known, I should never have let you-”

He breaks off suddenly as Grinpayne makes a choked noise of agony, spine bending under the weight of pain as though a giant unseen hand is forcing him down. He doubles over for a moment before his knees buckle and he sinks to the ground in an agonised crouch, reaching one trembling hand to the earth as he desperately searches for a stable centre of gravity to cling to, eyes tight shut, gasping as his own nerves attack him with a cutthroat mercilessness.

Ursus feels as though a pint of cold water has just been dumped over his head, as though he’s just woken up from a very bad dream. He drops to a crouch besides his son, shame curling in the pit of his stomach as he fumbles for the crimson lethe in his pocket, his anger evaporating.

“Here” he mutters, pressing the little pink bottle into Grinpayne’s hands and ignoring his weak protests. “Drink. Grinpayne, drink .”

In too much pain to resist, Grinpayne takes the bottle, tipping his head back and drinking deeply. Ursus watches as he swallows and wipes his mouth with the back of a shaking hand, blinking slowly as his tense muscles begin to loosen. His eyes glaze over for a moment, and Ursus feels a familiar pang of emotion that he dare not name. It is helping him, he tells himself firmly. It is healing him.

However, he doesn’t have long to dwell on it, because at that moment a voice rings out from behind him, a stranger’s voice. All thoughts of Crimson Lethe or sinking ships or even Grinpayne himself are wiped from his mind as he registers the strange accent, and whirls around to meet its owner.

“Crack the skies…”

#this chapter took some WORK oh boy oh boy #it's still not perfect but I wanted it to be done #Ursus' lotions potions and puppetry #potions and puppetry #tgm fic #the grinning man #the grinning man fic #the grinning man musical

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mallahanmoxie · 4 years

Text

i know this behaviour is a relic of my hilariously ironically unfinished higher education but i cannot move forward with the kids' sorting until i have finished at the very least the whole novel, if not all the side stories as well. i just need to have the most amount of facts available to be able to rule on this or i fear i'm going to end up awfully misjudging everything (i'm only on volume 9 of 15!!!!!) and inso's law is both too fucking wild and its character arcs too goddamn important to ignore.

so have my preliminary and very very very shallow sortings with brief explanations under the cut instead, i guess

ham dani

primary: ravenclaw

secondary: hufflepuff (most likely)

i think the primary is pretty straightforward. ham dani has a system that she measures all new information against: her knowledge of webnovels and belief she is inside one direct practically all her actions and have a chokehold on most of her thoughts. the nuances of this belief change throughout the story but she is always seen reasoning against this external system and deferring to it in spite of her immediate feelings. as far as secondary, i lean towards hufflepuff because dani's like an interesting people magnet, somewhat unconsciously forming communities wherever she goes, and she works so hard when she wants something. she went to cram school every day after what happened in february still, she studies so hard despite her grades, she toils at her relationships with the others.

eun jiho

primary: gryffindor or ravenclaw

secondary: slytherin

i do think he's an idealist for a primary, i'm just not sure which. i hesitate to say if his expectations/upbringing are the system by which he measures the world (and dani is. always wrecking havoc on this) or if he feels what is right and as he grows this diverges from what he's been taught and thus why his feelings for dani represent such a point of contention. i still don't know. i lean towards gryffindor, though. he's most definitely a sytherin secondary, though. the cold persona was probably taught as well, and likely comfortable, but he doesn't seem uncomfortable by it (unlike jooin, in a way) and his quick switch with dani from sweet to normal when talking in his father's presence when he could have waited is quite slytherin to me. he's mostly in his neutral state with dani tho.

ban yeoryung & yoo chunyoung

primary: slytherin

secondary: gryffindor

lumping them together because they turned out to have the same. originally pinged yeoryung as a true gryffindor, but i think her undying loyalty to dani and dani alone is pretty telling. her morality might rely a lot on her gryffindor secondary, but it doesn't matter what's right as long as dani is okay. i had no idea with chunyoung until i thought of how threatened he is by ruda trying to pull dani from their inner circle and thought it made sense. chunyoung is constantly surrounded and affirmed by his close circle of loved ones so that outlier is both unprecedented and distressing. ban yeoryung is as gryffindor secondary as can be--bold and brash and even violent. chunyoung is a quieter but equally self assured flavour of gryffindor, blunt and unapologetic in his true self, unaccostumed and distrustful of lies and deceit.

woo jooin

primary: burnt gryffindor

secondary: ravenclaw

jooin's past definitely did incredibe damage to his self-image. i figured he'd be more than not a burnt primary and started looking at those. i was torn between hufflepuff (it seemed like he wanted to be more than what he was, but i wasn't sure if that was directed to people in general or just as a way to make up for what he'd done. also suspected he'd left himself out of his concept of 'people' and had restricted his circle to his friends and family only) but his internal struggle ended up feeling more like a gryffindor's guilt over his breached felt moral code and lack of faith in being able to redeem himself or follow a straight path again. i also thought hufflepuff (even slytherin) for the secondary on account of his intermingling but ended up thinking of the people he befriends and his "facade" as skills in his toolkit, legacy of that lady's influence on him. his personal relationships are tools as is every other bit of information he keeps on them, including who knows who and what are they experts in and how he can use them. likewise, his frantic trying to call ham dani and the wall of post its he puts up after she disappears sounded rather in line with that.

kwon eunhyung

primary: hufflepuff? slytherin? he's schroddinger's primary but he is likely burnt.

secondary: hufflepuff

listen, i have no idea what the fuck is going on in eunhyung's head, like, ever. he's the least explored so far to me so everything he does is a surprise in some shape or form. i think he tends towards one of the more steady ones—somehow i can't help jut read his shrewdness as something put upon but im not willing to bet on that. he just seems to hate the mind games of the yoos so much. like with jooin, i think his childhood trauma has burnt his primary to the ground and his secondary has taken the wheel. he's very hufflepuff at a first glance—reliable class president, always taking care of chunyoung and everyone, making sure to keep good relations with the other classrooms etc etc etc. it feels like the hufflepuff that is toiling at relationships knowing their eventual payoff. i know he's the rank 0 fighter (and i'm very curious about that) but i have no idea what that says about him beyond his incessant need not to draw unduly attention towards himself. dunno. i still love him.

#oh how i hate the ravenclawness of that first paragraph but what can you do #the lion reads #i guess #inso post

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