#she was 89 and she wanted to see the whole world with her wife

[fandomsandfeminism]

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

[fuckmymunson]

🎄𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲:

Dom Eddie M. + prompts 97, 42, 39, 68

(if u can add in prompt 89)

💗💗.

I have, no words. Words fail me. I am so excited to do this. This was such a journey. It's WAY longer than intended. It's FILTHY. It's ME BEING A WHORE. Thanks to my wife @lil-quinnie who was there during the process and brainstorming with me.

CW: 18+, SMUT, MeanCheerleader!Reader (god, my favorite), (KindaMean)Dom!Eddie, daddy kink, use of toys, slapping, dacryphilia, slight subspace, dirty talk, a bit of a rushed ending cuz I didn't want to make it THAT big. I am a bit mean too but I love being a bitch too. | Word count: 2.5k (omfg), not proofread!

#39: “Enough, please, I can’t take anymore!” #42: “Spread your legs for mommy/daddy, I want to see you.” #68: “Shh, just look at me, baby.” #89: “Your thighs are shaking so much.” #97: “I was good while you were gone! I didn’t even touch myself.”

︵‿︵‿‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿ʚ♡ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

Behind that bitchy, confident mask, there’s a whiny, submissive bitch. And Eddie knows it very well.

He knows how much of a fucking tease you are, and he learned how to handle it. He knows exactly what to do in order to turn you into a putty, teary-eyed mess. Eddie is extremely patient with you as well, even on those days when you are the brattiest brat in the whole world. Even when you are doing everything in your power to tease him, to edge him, to needle with him. When you grind up your cute, little cheer skirt against his crotch? He just sighs and smiles. When you spread your legs at the other side of the cafeteria by «accident», giving him the tiniest peak of the lacy, black underwear he bought for you? He just shakes his head and smiles, again: but, the grip on his lunchbox almost bends the shitty handle. When you drag him to the nearest empty classroom in between classes, kissing his neck and leaving him hard, on edge after the bell rings? He just fucking smiles again and kisses your lips lovingly.

Although, on his insides, his stomach twists with anger. He’s fucking pissed, and he knows the perfect way to get back to you.

It’s a Friday, so he knows you have cheer practice and you know he has Hellfire. Before leaving, you swing your bag on your shoulder, your orange and green pompoms peeking from your backpack. Standing on your tiptoes, you close your eyes ready for your goodbye kiss…

Which never arrives.

Eddie just tilts his head, kissing your cheek, not your lips.

“Baby—” You protest, but he’s already walking away with his hands in his pockets. “Hey!”

“Good luck, doll!” He says with a wave. Eddie is glad you can’t see the mischievous smirk on his rosy lips. 

You don’t catch the game he is playing at the moment. You feel upset, deprived of your goodbye kiss. Your respective activities flow without any problem, although you truly feel upset, because why on Earth wouldn’t he want to kiss you!? Eddie, on the other hand, just sits on his Dungeon Master throne, smirking, hiding his plans, and crafting new possibilities inside his twisted, little head. 

The rest of the club knows something’s happening, but they know better than to question him. 

Eddie knows how clingy you are to him, how the simple act of denying you a kiss will mess with your mood, and he relies on that.

When both after-school activities are over, he waits for you patiently outside the building, lighting up a cigarette. He hears you before he sees you. The loud snap and bratty tone only made his 

cock twitch inside his black jeans, the excitement runs high because he knows you have no idea, what he has in store for you. 

The front doors slam open, your furious stomping and kicking gravel announcing your presence.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Jessica!” You snapped at your teammate, who just flinches in sudden fear. “Can’t you take the damn hint?”

Rolling your eyes your resist the urge to push her and smear that loud bubblegum she keeps chewing all over her fried, bleached, blonde hair. Sometimes you can’t believe how fucking stupid these girls are. No wonder why they voted for you to be Captain, everyone else it’s dense as fuck. 

Instead of greeting Eddie with a kiss, you just walk past him, opening the van’s passenger door and pouting the whole ride to his trailer. Eddie pays you no mind, he just hums along to a random Metallica song, drumming his fingers against the wheel. The fact that he is ignoring you only irritates you even further, when you arrive at his lovely home, he doesn’t open the door for you, he just walks straight to the trailer, fidgeting with his keys and all the damn hello kitty charms you gifted him. You curse on your walk to his bedroom, throwing your backpack next to his bed, and sitting on the edge. He insists on ignoring you, removing his rings and leaving them on his nightstand, taking off his vest, and the worn leather jacket.

“Eddie” You call for him, starting to feel huffy at his behavior. 

“Eddie!” You call again, louder this time. 

No answer.

Eddie walks back to you, standing in between your spread legs. You raise your head to look at him, frowning: The look in his eyes, it’s something else. It’s feral, and you can see the darkness that lies within. The frown on your pretty face quickly melts. You gulp, suddenly nervous.

You know that look. 

His cold, pale hand squeezes your cheeks, and the way he looks at you it’s nothing more than belittling. 

“You’ve been nothing more than a damn tease, All. Fucking. Day” He speaks, in that deep voice. “You know better than to act like a whore, don’t you?”

At the lack of reply, he squeezes harder, making you whine in discomfort. 

“I asked you a question. Do you know what happens to girls that act like whores?”

After a brief moment of silence, you reply with a meek voice. 

“They get fucked like whores” 

He smiles, pure venom dripping down his pearly teeth. “Good girl, at least I know you can get some shit through that thick skull of yours” At his condescending words, you open your mouth to oppose. “Nuh-uh, I know what you gonna say, and don’t you dare apologize, it’s too late for that”

“Are you— are you gonna punish me?” You ask.

“You have no clue, doll”

A part of you, it’s somehow thrilled. Only god (or the devil) knows what Eddie has in storage for you, his look is a bad omen, but your tummy twists in anticipation. He can read it in your eyes, and at the way you press your thighs together. He checks the thrift clock on his nightstand and smirks.

“Gotta go, princess” He talks, nonchalantly. “Got a deal at 8 pm—”

Sometimes Eddie thinks you are the one who’s stupid. His hand yanks your hair the second you open your mouth, successfully shutting you up. 

“I’m talking, whore”

“Sorry, daddy”

“Like I was saying, I’m leaving, you are staying, and no pouting. You are gonna stay here, tied up, with your stupid pink vibrator inside your pathetic little pussy, okay? You are not allowed to cum, if you do I’ll know. You are gonna lay there, like the pitiful slut you are, thinking about what you did today, and how brats get punished” He slaps your cheek lightly, one, two, three times. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, daddy”

“Good girl, now get naked before I rip that uniform off you”

Spread, naked, humiliated. You bite your lip as he slides the pink, texturized vibrator inside you, on the lowest setting. Reaching for his back pocket, Eddie uses the black handkerchief to tie your wrists above your head in a simple knot. You could undo it with an easy hard yank, but you wouldn’t, and he knows you won’t.

A part of you wants to put off a fight, to see how far he can go, but Eddie is so goddamned scary when he acts like this. You watch his every movement, how he changes his shirt, the peak of his naked torso and tattoos making you clench around the toy. Grabbing his jacket and his beaten lunchbox, he kisses your forehead before leaving.

“Love you, sweetheart”

“L—Love you, daddy”

The next minutes, feel like fucking hours. You start to wonder if he’s taking more time than usual just to bother you and neglect you. The tears appear quicker than expected, and you bite your lip suppressing a moan, it’s so embarrassing, to be used as a sex doll, to be treated like an object, to be edged over and over, but… it feels so good. Having that power and authority snatched that quickly only turns you on even more. To even imagine what people would think if they saw the local mean, spoiled, vicious cheer captain being lowered to nothing more than a needy, beautiful bitch in heat, arching her back and moaning like a desperate slut, ready to beg and plead for the tiniest bit of release.

You close your thighs, which doesn’t really help at all. 

Pressing your head against the pillow, you inhale his scent, his shampoo, the lingering smell of cigarettes and week, getting lost in that hazy subspace slowly. Every single thought is being drained from your smart head, replaced by the only one who can make you feel like this.

“Eddie—” You cry to the empty room, closing your eyes and evoking him. Thinking about his strong, calloused hands maneuvering you, manhandling you. “Eddie…”

You think about the way he spreads your legs, how he slides his thick, hard cock inside you. God, you are so deep down in your own mind that you can hear him, calling for you, pushing you over that dreamland where he is the only habitant. His soft voice sounds so close, so real…

“Hey, doll” Eddie, the real Eddie whispers in your ear. He’s holding a strawberry milkshake, your favorite. “Missed me?” He chuckles when you nod dumbly. He places the cup on his old desk, walking back to you, he knows it’s your favorite. “Spread your legs for daddy, I want to see you” 

With a weak nod, you part your legs slowly. Your thighs shake slightly at the now unbearable overstimulation. Eddie smirks and palms himself over his black jeans, rubbing his cock unashamedly. He is obsessed with every single inch of your persona. To him, you are nothing less than a goddess. 

The stickiness drooling from your poor, neglected pussy makes him sigh spellbound. Eddie reaches for the toy, still buzzing cheerfully inside you. The hazy state brings you sweet illusions, he’s going to remove it, unbuckle his belt, strip down and finally fuck you. 

Spoiler alert, he doesn’t.

“Your thighs are shaking so much.” He points out, sliding the toy in and out of your soaking cunt. Eddie bites his lip when he notices the little puddle on his bedsheets, he wants to lean down and lick it clean.  “Want me to fuck you, baby?” Eddie asks with a fake pout, but you buy it anyways. You are so dumb you would agree to anything he says. 

“Uh-uh” You mumble, a tiny string of drool running down your pretty lips. “I was good while y—you were gone! I didn’t even touch myself— Daddy, I—I was good” Your hips rock in rhythm with the vibrator, the spirals in the toy rubbing against your tight walls deliciously. 

“No, you weren’t. You were a damn tease all day, bitch” Eddie huffs and keeps the toy inside again, licking his thumb before attaching it to your clit. He moves his finger in circles, making you moan his name loud enough for his neighbors to hear. “I’m gonna fuck you like the whore you are, maybe after it, you will keep in that stupid empty head of yours to not be a brat”

“I—I’m sorry!” You cry when he speeds on your puffy clit. 

“I’m sorry!” He mocks you with a chuckle. Eddie leans over you, his curls tickling your neck and face. He’s so close you can smell the cologne you gave him for Christmas, the tobacco of those disgusting Marlboros he smokes. His breath smells like a vanilla milkshake, he probably had one on his way home. “Look at you, fucking wrecked. That’s how I like you, you know my love? A beautiful, cock hungry slut”

Eddie laughs again when you seek his lips, urged to feel something else. You want his warm body against yours, his cock in and out of you, sending you down those special spirals of pleasure that only he seemed to crash into your body, mind, and soul. 

“My beautiful girl” He whispers, giving you a quick kiss. 

“Please, please—pleasepleaseplease fuck me!” You implore one last time, looking at him dead in the eye, biting your lip and arching your back sensually.  “Enough, please, I can’t take a—anymore! I need your cock Daddy” The last part is a murmur, just for him.

It works, though.

You watch with hearty eyes how he undresses at light speed, nodding excitedly when he yanks his jeans and boxers down, his cock exposed big and proud. You see every vein, the curve of it, you eye his balls, how heavy and tasty they look. You can’t help but lick your lips greedily when he strokes his cock watching you still from above, your pussy clenches around the toy. The way he is looking at you it’s absolutely sinful, he looks like the fucking devil itself. The mattress protests under his weight and you do too, impatient to have him ruining you. Eddie frowns, annoyed by the little attitude rush and slaps your thigh.

“Careful, bitch” He warns and you nod. 

When he, at last, removes the toy, he presses the vibrator against your clit just in time for him to replace the emptiness in your pussy. The action makes your pussy clench and then stretch to take him in. Eddie groans loudly at the extra tightness and you just gasp, feeling how the air is punched out of your lungs. 

“G—God, it should be illegal to have a pussy this tight and wet, baby” Eddie grunts bottoming out, still playing with your clit. He thrusts after a few seconds, moaning with you, reminding you how much of a slut you are, his slut. His precious fleshlight. His pretty bitch, his lovely angel. 

His, his, his.

“Mine, mine, all fucking mine” It’s all he says.

He fucks you until you go crosseyed, not even being able to talk, to thank him, to curse him. Eddie notices this and slaps your face, smiling when you cry. 

“Shh, just look at me, baby. Keep those cute eyes on me, okay?” 

The vibrator is soon discarded, substituted by his thumb. Eddie abuses your dripping pussy, his free hand torturing you as well. He slaps your face again and again and again until it’s warm and numb. He twitches inside you when the tears run down your cheeks and you sob, barely formulating dumb words. But he gets them anyway. His lips meet yours, basically drooling all over you, it’s such a sloppy, soggy kiss but it does the trick. 

More. 

You are so close, almost touching heaven. He slaps your tits a few times, pinching your nipples and making you arch your back. He’s also close, it’s almost painful. The form he is molding your cunt in order to fit his whole it’s intoxicating, it makes your head go fuzzy, and it feels so good to let go, to leave the conscious state and to be taken care of. 

Now that he knows you want more, he’s gonna give it to you, punishment already at the back of his mind. He’s gonna fuck you all night if he needs to or wants to. Either way, he knows you will let him. 

[nataliesnews]

What day is it 18.10.2023

 A couple would wait for people at  the border with Gaza and take them to hospitals in Israel for treatment.  Now they are amongst those kidnapped. 

P Migdal Nofim and its residents were harnessed in absorbing the settlers from the south who came to live with us during this period.

Despite the difficulty and pain of the evacuees, they make sure to appreciate and shower us with compliments for the caressing welcome that takes care of all their needs by the residents of Nofim, their families and volunteers.

It warms the heart to see the new friendships formed between the old tenants and the evacuees,

as well as their participation in the various activities held by us

This is how conversation goes nowadays. You meet someone....How are you....The answer is ...Like everyone

 Thoughts that come.....Those who spoke of transferring Arabs....today half a million Israelis....the number given on the tv....have been not transferred but displaced and kibbutzim, moshaviem are emptied and people are being asked to come and milk the cows which otherwise will die in pain. Towns are also emptied. 

We keep hearing from politicians when asked who will take the responsibility.... they say after the war and that is if the one most guilty and his wife have not fled to join their cowardly sons. And that the great leader is having a wonderful time today meeting the leaders of the Western world. 

For the first time in my life I feel old and useless. I am suddenly having such difficulty getting on and off the bus. 

 A cynical sign. ''There is a new nomination...Benjamin Netanyha is the minister for makes the connection between his wife and the government' 

 I have been each night at six at the demonstration opposite the home of Herzog calling for the emphasis to be placed on bringing our captive families home. Not once has he come out to us. I wanted to go to town to have a poster made but first had to draw money. I use a fake phone number for my credit code but when I opened it I found the numbers absolutely confused.  I then also saw that I had been getting weird messages on the Nofim networks. Then I found an invitation to a wedding as if it was new .The wedding took place three months ago.  I realized the same thing had happened yesterday but I thought it was a glitch. Phone numbers have disappeared.  Two nights ago there was a backup and since then I have had problems. I have an iPhone.   I wonder if anyone else has the problem. I sat on a park bench and a man started talking to me.  It turns out that his wife writes for TOI.  He knew nothing about the nightly protests now taking place. I also told him about the olive harvest but he said he didn’t want to be somewhere where the settlers would attack him. I am going to contact his wife and ask if she knows about these happenings and also what is happening on the West Bank

I just had one of the ladies, Mazal, from Ashkelon in for tea ...she is 89...... and she said that she is overwhelmed as to how she has been received here at Nofim. .

For some reason I am exhausted as I did little today besides to go to the centre. So many shops have little wagons outside and people are asked to put things in for soldiers or for those  who have been evacuated. And this evening to the demonstration but I feel wiped out. Young people are standing with the carts and then taking the goods to a centre where I would like to help but you have to be on your feet the whole time. The people are doing what the government should be doing. All the money that they have given to the religious should go to the people of the South and Lebanon. 

In the lift one of the older ladies broke down and started crying......she has two grandchildren  in the army. All I could do was hold her but tomorrow I will go and see her. And I keep thinking of Irit and Yaakov....their daughter's wedding was to be on Friday. 

With all my feelings of humanity....we are giving Gaza water.....Without any of the hostages being returned this should not have been done. 

[thebarefootcajun]

The Figaros, Agité and a Streetcar Named Desire

Gaston Figaro of Cajun Italian descent had dwelled on the South Louisiana Prairie for 89

years with his lovely wife Lorena Figaro. They had 9 children all of whom had settled on the prairie, too. All boys. The Figaros farmed figs. The year was 1953, and those figs went far and wide, local and foreign. Their fig product was the big purple figs. Fleshy, sweet figs, two characteristics of the Figaro Figs.

Gaston at 89 was in those fig orchards every day along with his 9 sons. Lorena stayed home and managed the house, rarely could you find a male Figaro in the house from sunup to sundown. The male Figaros lived in the fields. Each day at noon, Lorena brought Cajun Italian fusion as sustenance for the men. A favorite high carb, high protein dish of the Figaros was her Cajun Italian spaghetti. A homemade tomato sauce made from her heirloom tomatoes she had crafted herself in her huge acre garden. Adding her homemade pasta into the mix with some tasso (smoked meat) and sausage. Lorena added basil, oregano and thyme from her herb garden, a section she had carefully crafted out herself right next to a window in her house so when when breezes blew she could smell herbs as they wafted through the South Louisiana air. With the smoked meats, there was a Cajun flair.

It seemed that the men chatted with the plants told them of their commitment and love. These men were caring, nurturing souls committed to their figs and sustainable farming.

Now if you know anything about farming, you know that the weather is not always a friend. And South Louisiana is infamous for its hurricanes and St. Medard, pronounced Sam - e - da in Cajun French, a time when it rains for 40 days and 40 nights. Both of these could totally wipe out crops.

This author remembers when just a bad storm came through with high winds and damaging hail, whole fields of crops were demolished and that year the farmer became practically destitute, saved only by family and friends/ neighbors who shared what they had to see him through until the next year. That is how it is on the prairie, even today.

Now back to the Figaros. Their grid of figs was arranged in nines. Each of the sons had his own grid of nines, depending on the age of the sons, they had more groups of nines. Gaston said this was the way it had been done for years by his ancestors before him. It seemed to work, the more accomplished fig growers had the most nines.

The nine boys weren’t at all competitive. This was a loving family farm, and the boys worked as a collaborative never questioning their father. He knew best, they all agreed, and pretty much they were right. Gaston hadn’t held them prisoner to the farm. It was their choice to stay and work on the fig farm or go out into the world on their own with his blessings and try to find what made them happy.

One day the youngest son, just turned 19, decided that he needed to leave and sort out his own life. Gaston, Lorena, and the other boys supported the youngest whose name was Agité, pronounced ah - gee, tay. That boy was restless in the womb, Lorena had said. He kicked the whole nine months and then some that she carried him. Agité was in the womb, it seemed like for ten months, at least that’s how it seemed to Lorena.

Agité left to make his mark on the world and to satisfy his own ambitions. You know the old saying, “The grass is greener on the other side.”

Agité took a Greyhound bus to New Orleans. He had heard about the city and its wild side. That’s what most people focus on about New Orleans, N’awlins, as the locals might say. Agité just had to see something different. Fig trees and the prairie just weren’t cutting it for this young man who wanted to experience more of the world, and maybe just be a little bit worldly himself.

He got a room right on Canal Street and he was in awe at the size of the street. The widest street he had ever seen. And he was so excited with the Streetcar, he’d not heard about a car that would run on electricity. Agité was overstimulated by all that he saw and heard right there on Canal Street. He rode the street car all the way to the end of the line and then rode it back again.

While on that ride of his life, Agité decided that he would apply for a job as a street car driver. While riding that first day on the car he mentioned to the driver that this is the job he wanted. The driver said that they were hiring and he pointed Agité to the right address to do that. The man told him that day that he could begin riding and training the next day.

After 9 months of training Agité was ready to solo. He was a natural born street car driver. Safety was paramount for Agité and so were his customers. He was a careful, timely driver.

After 9 months of driving Agité returned home for a brief visit. The family loved his stories and the new life he was building there. They were proud of him. However they noticed that there was a bit of sadness in his step. They didn’t address it for fear he would feel embarrassed.

The next day the men decided that they would go to the fig orchards later, but before they would have a big breakfast with Agit��. As they ate breakfast, he announced that after wrestling all night with his decision, he wanted to come home and work again in the family business. Lenora cried, Gaston cried and all of the brothers wept. They wrapped their arms around Agité and loved on him.

They all agreed that seeking your life’s desire is good, but so is coming home to family and realizing that’s where your heart is.

An original Barefoot 🦶 Cajun story

[blushing-titan]

My reasons to ship Erehisu

About two weeks ago, I got an anonymous ask that reads:

what made you ship erehisu? I don't ship anyone in the series (and defo not eremika lol) and I want to understand the reasons

...but when I tried to answer it on my app, it turned out that I can only post 10 pictures per post, so I decided to make a longer, regular one with my thoughts on this topic 😄 Erehisu remains one of my favorite ships in the series (...with the other ones being Yumi/hisu and Levi/han), so I really enjoy talking about it (...well, at least I did, before I started moving away from the series after that mess of a finale). Without further ado, my reasons to ship Erehisu are under the cut (just a quick warning: the pictures are obviously not mine, and there are some anti-eremika themes in this post).

They had an actual developement

As we know: in the beginning, Historia was pretending to be this good, selfless girl Krista. Later on, we learn that Eren was not particularly fond of her façade (...keep in mind he was the only person who noticed that she was acting off, too - obviously excluding Ymir, who was Historia's closest person and knew about her secret). As Historia chooses to embrace her identity and stop pretending, his opinion on her changes - he reassures her and appreciates the real Historia.

You’re just normal. Just a normal girl who’s absurdly honest. (Eren, ch. 54)

Eren...that day...the time you called me...normal. That made me really...happy. (Historia, ch. 65)

Later on, after Historia saves Eren in the Reiss cave, his thoughts on her change even further. There isn't just something that he likes about her anymore - instead, he starts to actually admire her strength and actions.

(ch. 68)

(ch. 70)

Even further on, he prioritizes her safety and hides an important piece of information that could help Paradis' cause - only because it could potentially put Historia in harm's way.

(ch. 89)

(ch. 90)

(ch. 106)

Keep in mind that there was a time skip in between these chapters, which means Eren kept this secret for years. He hid it even from Armin and Mikasa. After it's finally revealed, he strongly disagrees with, and fights against Historia becoming a titan for the sake of the island. Eren’s sentiment towards Historia is even noticed by Hanji on a few different occasions - it’s something that Hanji brings up while questioning him, later on.

(ch. 107)

Eren also meets Historia in secret, warns her of danger, and downright doesn't let her sacrifice herself - even when she assures him that she's ready to do it. 

(ch. 130)

She's also one of the only people with whom he shares the information about the rumbling. He also brings up her own words that she said to him back in the Reiss cave.

(ch. 130)

I believe he doesn't fight for her just because she's one of his friends. It's a natural progression that comes from the shared experience they had in the Reiss cave. Eren got to know and appreciate the real Historia, so whenever she reverts back to the Krista persona, he's there to remind her that she should live for herself and don't let others use her - just like Ymir told her, and just like Historia told him in the Reiss cave. When Eren stands up for Historia in ch. 107 and blatantly refuses to let her get sacrificed, she's actually touched to the point of tearing up.

Their relationship changes and deepens with time, and it's actually shown in the manga - not just as symbols or small hints, but actual, full-fledged conversations/actions. In my opinion, this should be the base of any well-estabilished ship. We have quite a few one-on-one moments with these two that illustrate this progression. There are also panels in which we can peak into Eren's thoughts on Historia, which makes for an unfiltered source of his opinions on her.

They can relate to each other

Something I find really important as well is that Eren and Historia can find each other very relatable, and therefore - understand each other's struggles better.

Both were used by their fathers, and both caused their demise. Both were fiercely protected by someone. Both felt like the world would be better without them, at some point. Both had a big role to play, despite having doubts if they can do it right (Eren, being humanity's titan; Historia, being the queen). Both wanted to sacrifice themselves for their people's sake - and both intervened, saving each other from actually going through with this decision.

Their relationship is well-balanced

Eren and Historia don't clash when it comes to their personalities. As their relationship grows, they mutually admire, protect and motivate each other, while still remaining two separate characters - with their own goals and traits. They freely talk to each other about their struggles; they also care about each other’s actual feelings on them.

(ch. 54)

(ch. 70)

I can easily see them as partners, which is something I've always had troubles with when it comes to EM. It's just hard not to make this comparison, since Mikasa's character has always been pretty much fully centered around Eren, which - in my eyes - made their relationship look unbalanced and toxic. I've already spoke about my issues with EM in depth in this post, so I won't elongate this one with repeating the same arguments - still, one of the reasons I started shipping Erehisu in the first place is the fact that I immediately saw it as a much more normal, healthy, and well-balanced alternative to EM.

Parallels and relevance to the story’s themes

Parallels are something that, for some reason, make a lot of people mad. I have no idea why - these things appear in the manga, so why not talk about them?

Aside from parallels between Eren and Historia (...please, keep in mind that I didn’t list all of them in this post), there are also a lot of obvious parallels between Historia and the founder Ymir - to the point, when the entire Requiem der Morgenröte ending revolves around this theme:

I've also already spoke about how Ymir/Historia parallels could possibly be tied to Eren in this answer.

(Historia on the cover of vol. 16/Ymir in ch. 122)

Aside from that, there are a few subtle Grisha/Dina and Eren/Historia parallels, as well. Historia is a royal, hiding as a regular person - just like Dina did, before joining the revivalists. Dina also tears up when Grisha stands up for Eldians, just like Historia does when Eren stands up for her.

(ch. 68)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 67)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 56)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 107)

(ch. 86)

Quite interestingly, in a lot of these parallels Historia and Eren act in an opposite way as to previous generations. While Frida teaches Historia to be a good, selfless girl, Historia ends up abandoning this persona to save herself and Eren in the Reiss cave. She doesn’t want to devote herself to fate - instead, she’s prepared for a showdown with it. While the founder Ymir’s children are ordered to eat their own mother to ensure her power’s succession (...and a few hundred years later, Grisha fights to return the founder’s power back to his wife - Dina), Eren does everything he can to ensure Historia and her children are safe and never even titanised in the first place. 

As the story unfolds, we learn about it’s leading themes - some of which are: oppression and fighting for freedom, desire to change history, the mechanism of circle of hate, and how it affects children who are a part of it. In my eyes, Erehisu just perfectly fit with these themes, especially considering how later on Historia’s pregnancy was handled in the manga.

There were countless ways to answer the who’s the father question? immediately, without even starting up conversation about it - for example, I don’t understand why it was needed to bring up the fact that Historia didn’t marry the farmer in the first place. What was it’s purpose, aside from stirring up theories - especially considering how in the last chapter it’s revealed that they are married, after all? Why end up the Eren/Historia flashback on the What do you think about me having a child? question, when the whole conversation they had beforehand was literally about Eren disagreeing with Historia wanting to get pregnant just to save herself? It doesn’t make sense, and led me (and many other readers - judging from opinions I read online and chapter reactions on youtube) to belive that there were other reasons, and that there was more to this conversation then was initially shown.

If the conclusion to this plotline was always supposed to be that she got pregnant just to save herself...then what was this mysterious built-up for? Why show this conversation in the first place, and in such a weird manner, too? Why not have Historia just say it out loud in ch. 130: yes, I got pregnant to save myself in the beginning, and spare us this whole I will not allow it talk...you know, instead of ending the conversation on the What do you think about me having a child? when the whole previous talk was about Eren fighting against it? Where’s the logic?

The truth is - from my perspective, Erehisu had a lot of logical build up that would benefit the story, and stay true to it’s already established themes and both characters’ previous developement. On top of that, I also think they simply had great chemistry.

That’s all from me today 😄 I apologize you had to wait so long for this, anon...life got in the way, and as I said - I think I’m just getting over this series. Hope you’re doing well anyway 😊

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 5/5

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: Henry.

Joey tries very, very hard to ‘no homo’ his relationship with the man:

“His presence was helpful, I can happily admit, but his absence was even more so. Not having him at the studio ended up being one of the best things that could have happened to it. Of course, the funny thing is, I couldn't have not had him without having him in the first place. Just like you can't appreciate the light if you haven't spent time in the dark, so too does a person's absence become clear only if he has been around.” TIOL, page 154

“A letter from Henry. You might not think I'd keep such a thing, but I do. I have no ill will toward the man as you know. Him leaving, as I said, was the best thing that could have happened to the studio. His letter reminds me of that.” TIOL, page 218

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

The only hint we get regarding Joey’s true feelings for Henry is the following note by Nathan:

“NateA: Joey has always been a professional person, far more so in many ways than me. That is why this section of the book is so forgiving of the man who abandoned the studio he helped create. Joey can't help but see the good in people. That being said, as a good friend of Joey's, I know that Henry's departure was a great upheaval for him and a great personal betrayal. Joey never truly forgave Henry, and I don't think he should have felt obligated to. The fact that Joey is so gracious in this part of the book is a reflection of his incredible generosity in allowing Henry Stein to be stainless in the eyes of history. I think, had he lived longer, Joey might have in later years called it his greatest illusion.” TIOL, page 155

I’m very surprised by the harshness in Nathan’s tone here. Especially since Henry appears to believe that he and Joey have parted on good terms, and Joey admits that they have continued to exchange letters for a while after Henry’s departure. We’ve also seen Henry’s note to Joey in the game, and it comes across as warm and supportive:

It really doesn’t sound like anything ugly happened between him and Joey. So then why are both Joey and Nathan convinced that Henry is a monster?

While I can believe that Joey is pathetic enough to consider anyone who slights him his worst enemy, Nathan comes across as a more level-headed person. So for him to voice his approval for Joey’s petty grudge must mean that he knows something that we don’t. But what could it be?

Honestly, nothing else comes to mind except for romantic heartbreak. It’s the only thing that could justify a man holding such a deep grudge for so many years. This isn’t Joey’s first friendship that grew apart over the years - his army friends have moved on with their life as well. It’s a normal part of life and there’s nothing in TIOL that would suggest Joey is unable to cope with that. We also know that the studio did fine for quite some time after Henry’s departure, so it’s not like Henry left Joey deep in debt. Henry wasn’t even the only animator at the studio:

“When the studio opened I surrounded him with artists of all skill levels, and the Writing Department had its own de facto leader in Mr. Hemmings, and so the whole of Creative was well managed for that first year of the company before I had to part ways with Henry.“ TIOL, page 155

And so we’re left with only one rational explanation: that Joey isn’t so much hurt by Henry leaving his job, as by the fact that Henry left specifically for the sake of his marriage.

Try as I might, I found no reference to Linda in TIOL. Even though Joey claims to have been friends with Henry for many years, he makes zero mention of ever having met Linda. While there are some hints that Henry wasn’t yet married to her at the time when he and Joey opened the studio together (such as the fact that he claims he hasn’t seen her in “days” even though he presumably slept at home, implying that he and Linda weren’t living together at the time. A shopping list among his notes in the Handbook also suggests that he cooked his own meals, which would be unusual for a married man with a demanding job), the two were already a couple by then, and must have known each other for a while already. Surely, as Henry’s friend, Joey would have met her?

Even when talking about Henry leaving, Joey uses a cryptic language:

“Henry left for his own reasons, and the correspondence between us became less and less. To be honest, it was almost like a weight off when he left. He had grown more sensitive as the studio became more successful and giving him pep talks had become exhausting for me. All the good qualities he brought, the hard work and diligence, were being undermined by a restless need for something different. Something that wasn't Bendy. I will never understand that drive. Bendy was and is perfection.“ TIOL, page 177

In DCTL Norman claims that Henry left to spend time with his wife. Why doesn’t Joey say that? It doesn’t make him look bad to admit that an employee left to enjoy a quiet family life. It’s almost like he refuses to acknowledge Linda’s existence at all. Like it’s too painful for him to speak of her.

Perhaps the “personal betrayal” that Nathan is referring to is related to Henry choosing a real family, over the “studio family”, and the possibility of having a real child, as opposed to a fictional one?

The symbolic image of Bendy as a child shows up multiple times in the game: for example the drawing from Henry appears to depict Bendy, Alice and Boris as a happy family, with Bendy holding onto their hands like a child would:

There’s also Alice using a womb imagery to describe the ink machine:

And of course, the final monologue is centered on Henry’s choice to pursue a family:

That monologue is very interesting if we assume Joey to be gay. Because a gay man would never have been able to follow Henry’s road. Gay!Joey could never choose to have a real family with a man he loved, because that option was denied to him by the homophobic society he was living in. The studio is the closest thing to a family that gay!Joey could ever hope to have. 

And evidently, that was not enough for Henry.

If Joey’s indeed gay, that must have felt incredibly unfair to him - knowing that he had no chance of happiness in marital bliss from the start, through no fault of his own. This would explain his desire to create a real, living, breathing Bendy, no matter the cost, just to prove to Henry that Joey’s “child” can be just as real as the one Linda could give him.

“Bendy was Joey's child, and he felt just as strongly about Bendy as I feel about my flesh-and-blood son.“ TIOL, page 2

This idea of an illusory choice very much resembles the choice between the Angel Path and the Devil Path in Chapter 3. It’s the only choice that Henry ever gets to make in the game, yet no matter which way he chooses, he still ends up in the same corridor. Some of the golden messages highlight his helplessness:

The symbolic meaning of the choice between the Angel and the Devil also shows up TIOL. There’s a scene in the book, where Joey writes a play about an Angel and a Devil fighting over the soul of a human man. Eventually, the Devil confesses that he doesn’t want the human to make his choice, because then one of them would have to leave. The play was supposed to end with the man making his choice, but according to Joey they lacked a third actor, so the ending was never played out.

I believe that the play is symbolic of the relationship between Henry and Joey, specifically with regards to Henry choosing a relationship with Linda over his friendship with Joey.

There are several reasons that lead me to believe this:

The human in the play making a choice between the Angel and the Devil is reminiscent of Henry choosing between Devil Path and Angel path in BATIM.

The play highlights that the Devil is on the left side of the human, while the Angel is on his right side:

“ANGEL: Spending my time with a devil has been an enlightening experience. Working with you over these years with you sitting on that left shoulder, so far and yet so near, all our debates, they were invigorating for the spirit. 

DEVIL: I won't miss you! Fighting all the time, trying to trick you into agreeing with me, trying to push you off that right shoulder of yours. The violence and the anger. I won't miss it at all!”, TIOL page 89

Much like the Devil Path is on the left side in the game, while the Angel path is on the right side:

The Devil is obviously a stand-in for Bendy. Joey even dances on the stage at one point, and one of Bendy’s nicknames is “The Dancing Demon”. Joey also claims that the Devil from the play was an inspiration for Bendy:

“Let's start with the basic idea of a cartoon.You need a main character. Someone who has adventures and who the audience relates to." I did. I needed that. I needed a character who didn't just reflect the general population back to itself, but a more exciting version. I had no interest in moralizing, besides I didn't think moralizing was particularly realistic. People don't see the world as one populated by do-gooders. I thought of the angel in my play. She could never be a lead character. The devil on the other hand…” TIOL, 165

The fact that Joey claims the ending was never played out is strongly reminiscent of the missing ending of the Tombstone Picnic

It’s possible that Joey is lying about the ending not having been played out, to hide Henry’s role in the success of the play, much like he removed his part in Tombstone Picnic. After all, what would be the point of writing a play for 3 actors, when you only have 2? Why not ask someone to play the 3rd?

Although the play itself is centered more on the relationship between the Devil and the Angel, rather than their relationship with the human, there is still a strong queer symbolism in the play:

“Abby shifted nervously next to me the whole evening. She was in a dress for the first time in a long time, white and soft. I was pleased she'd come in character. For my part the only red thing I owned was a garish bow tie, so that was all I was able to contribute visually.” TIOL, page 82

The angel is played by a woman, who usually wears men’s clothing, but of course, the Angel being a symbol of Christian values couldn’t possibly be portrayed breaking the gender norms. She had to wear a dress, though Abby is clearly uncomfortable in it. She’s essentially performing heteronormative feminity. Next to her we have Joey as the Devil, dressed in a red bow tie, which as I’ve mentioned in the first part of this analysis, used to be a symbol of homosexuality. 

This contrast between the uncomfortably heteronormative Angel and flamboyantly queer Devil is striking. It’s also very much in line with the views of the society in the 1920s. For something to be the symbol of purity and goodness, it has to be heterosexual, and the Devil is queer, because he’s also the symbol of sin.

That symbolism could be indicative of Joey’s own internalized homophobia. Back in his army days, his friends used to bully him for breaking gender norms. Joey likes to present himself as the hero, who was easily able to outsmart the bullies, but many of his later remarks in the book and in DCTL show that some of that attitude has left a deep mark on him.

The symbolism could also be intentional. Joey boasts about having personal ties to Noel Coward, a real life gay playwright, who was known for his many affairs with men, and for putting an ungodly amount of queer symbolism in his works:

“The old woman took a liking to me, and she was nice enough. Besides, her connections were incredible. She knew everyone, she even had the playwright Noel Coward come to stay with her whenever he was in town.” TIOL, page 144

There’s a lot of evidence pointing to the play being symbolic of Henry’s choice between his relationship with Linda and with Joey. But it’s also symbolic of Henry’s choice between Bendy, and a real child. The studio family, and a traditional family. Heteronormative relationship vs a queer relationship. 

Although there’s no indication in canon that Henry might be bisexual, he doesn’t need to be. The game has beaten into our heads that the “choice” is an illusion. Henry was never going to choose the Devil, or at least that’s what Joey believes. Although we’re never told what choice the human in the play was going to make, we’re told that he was supposed to be dressed in white, which suggests that he chose the Angel. 

“(The door stage right opens. A man all in white enters calmly and chooses a seat, brushes it off carefully and sits. He takes his hat off and holds it gingerly in his lap.) (Quiet.) (Curtain.) THE END” TIOL, page 91

That might be why the Devil in the play confesses that he doesn’t want the human to make his choice, fearing that one of them will have to leave once such a choice is made:

“DEVIL: You think he has made a choice? 

ANGEL: It is possible. 

DEVIL: Do you think he might be all bad? 

ANGEL: I hope he is all good. 

DEVIL: If he is all bad, my job here is done. If he is all good, you can go home. 

DEVIL: Strange. If we win we also lose. You would think that would be something I would find delightful. 

ANGEL: You would think I would love to make such a personal sacrifice.” TIOL, page 89

The line about a “personal sacrifice” is very interesting in this context. The Angel and the Devil clearly care for each other and for the human, and don’t want their relationship to come to an end. Though the Devil in the play seems to make gestures that the audience interprets as romantic in nature, Joey insists that it isn’t the case:

“I leaned in and placed a hand on Abby's knee. There was a gasp from someone in the audience, but I knew Abby wouldn't be flustered by it. That wasn't the nature of our relationship.” TIOL, page 89 

It makes me wonder if perhaps Linda and Joey used to be friends at some point, and both competed over Henry’s attention.

There’s a much overused trope in fiction where two men compete over a woman, which ends up ruining their friendship. It would be really interesting and subversive to see a man and a woman competing over a man instead.

EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot to add this part:

"Joey, thanks for coming," said Henry, approaching from behind us. I turned to look at him He had dressed up for the event but every item of clothing looked slightly wrong. The sleeves of his shirt a bit short, his vest a bit long, his tie askew. He smiled, though, with such confidence that I couldn't help admire him. I still do.” TIOL, page 160

Joey fell for Henry’s smile, how romantic!

“We watched in silence as he worked. Despite his lack of genius, to this day, I will always say that watching Henry work was a real pleasure.“ TIOL, page 173

“It's fascinating. Henry was never the showman like I was. He didn't tend to be easily remembered by those who met him when we did business. I was invariably the face of the company, the one introduced first at a gala, the one to whom people slipped their business cards.Yet in the end he ended up setting up camp in this small corner of my memory. I can't deny that he is tied to the creation of Bendy, to the creation of the studio itself. That at one time, in one small apartment, one too warm evening, we had shaken hands. That once upon a time we had been partners. He'll always be there, in the dark recesses of my mind. Always linked to me that way. Funny how the forgettable man is now forever in my mind” TIOL, page 177

[zaffrenotes]

[TRR] Kairos

Kairos - Part 12

Pairing: Liam x Riley, Liam x OC Series Rating/Warnings: 18+; language; series will include ns*w 🍋 scenes Chapter Rating/Warnings: G Author’s Note: * All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them * Kairos (καιρός) is a word in Greek that translates to “the right time” or “the right moment to act” * Liam’s wife asks about “the one that got away” one night over dinner, and Liam recounts a relationship from his past * This is my submission for @wackydrabbles​​ Prompt 89: This isn't what I had in mind, but okay. * Author’s Note 2: * I apologize if this chapter feels choppy; I haven't updated this story since January, and writing is H A R D, but I want to finish this AU. I know how it ends, I just have to *gestures at the air* get there. * Word Count: 1708

Catch up with previous chapters here

Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed for this series): @ao719 @blackcatkita @debramcg1106 @ofpixelsandscribbles @callmeellabella @smalltalk88 @aestheticartsx @bbrandy2002 @burnsoslow @choiceskatie @darley1101 @dcbbw @gardeningourmet @iplaydrake @liamxs-world @rainbowsinthestorm @riseandshinelittleblossom @superharriet @texaskitten30 @theroyalheirshadowhunter @the-soot-sprite // @alyssalauren @clairexoxo100 @cordonianroyalty @cordonian-literature @gkittylove99 @gnatbrain @jared2612 @kingliam2019 @mom2000aggie @pink-diamond13 @princessleac1 @queenjilian @sfb123 @txemrn @yourmajesty09

The evening carried on, and it was nearly impossible for Liam to pull himself away from one conversation to the next. Most of the new suitors vied for his attention to make a good impression, various nobles edged their way into conversations to discuss official business, and his friends made every effort to steal him away for short reprieves. He was dancing when he caught a flash of Max’s dress near the edge of the dance floor.

Brief glimpses and glances of a link to Liam’s almost-love was all The Fates seemed to grant for the duration of the ball, despite his best efforts to carve out a moment with Max. The irony wasn’t lost on him; having found a connection to Elia after years had passed, without a way to speak with her sister. His hand warmed against his dancing partner’s palm as they waltzed with other couples.

“What’s troubling you tonight? Besides the obvious farce of this whole ordeal.” A pair of cherry red lips curled into a sympathetic grin, and Liam nodded in silent agreement. “Something other than counting steps is running through your mind.”

Liam adjusted his grip on Olivia’s hand as he led her across the floor, quickly scanning the crowd for another glimpse of Max. “I require the assistance of a dear friend,” he answered quietly, twirling her in a circle. “Someone who knows of secret passages in the palace to remain undetected, who can also speak with one of the new ladies at court.”

One of Olivia’s brows arched in Liam’s direction. “Has someone managed to catch your eye already?”

“Not the way you think,” he replied. “It’s a long story, and right now I’m grasping at straws, but it’s…something.” As Liam twirled his childhood friend in another circle, the expression in his eyes conveyed the seriousness of his request.

Olivia’s back tensed when she looked up to meet her friend’s gaze, though they moved effortlessly through the song. “What do you need me to do, Li?”

“There’s a young woman here, wearing a peacock ballgown. Her name is Max.”

“There’s some irony,” Olivia giggled. “Maxwell’s probably talking her ear off over her dress alone.”

“I haven’t been able to speak with her since we were introduced.”

“Tell me when and where, I’ll make sure you converse with her before morning.”

Liam shook his head at the suggestion. “That’s not the kind of conversation I need to have, Liv. I do need to speak with her though. It could mean cancelling the rest of the social season before it’s had a chance to begin, in a good way.”

Olivia arched her brow at Liam again, as the music began to come to an end. “I’m going to need a full story about this very soon, if she’s a means of ending the season.”

Liam let out an anxious laugh. “Soon enough, of course. Get her as close as possible to my office without being seen.” He looked over Olivia’s shoulder to see Bastien by the ballroom doors, nodding at him just before Bastien said something to another member of the Kings Guard. “Enjoy the rest of the ball, I’ve got to go over details for tomorrow’s events. Shouldn’t take longer than an hour.”

--

Nearly an hour after Liam departed the ballroom, he sighed with relief to enjoy the silence in his office once Regina and her team of event planners were satisfied with preparations for the garden party. He poured himself a bit of scotch in a glass as a nightcap, glancing at the clock on the wall. Most of the guests had ventured home while he went over checklists with Regina, minus the suitors and their sponsors that would live at the palace for the next several weeks.

Another weary sigh slipped past Liam’s lips as he returned to the ornate desk in the office, and he removed the cufflinks Madeleine had given to him as a gift. He rolled up his sleeves, trying to ignore the soft ticking of the clock, wondering if Olivia had managed to get a hold of Max. Princess Maria Amelita Xamira Basilio, who had a sister that went by the name Elia. There were too many similarities in her siblings names and the fact that Max looked so similar in appearance to Elia.

He’d opened the laptop on the desk and was about to type Elia’s real name into the search window, when there was a knock at the door. Liam rushed out of his seat to answer, loudly whispering a name when he turned the knob. “Olivia? Is that you?” He was surprised to see Max in the hallway by herself. “Your Highness, please, come in,” he said, stepping aside to let Max pass. “Did anyone see you?”

Max bowed her head to Liam as she stepped into his office. “No, Lady Olivia led me through a number of passages from my room, and distracted the very tall, silver-haired guard down the hall.”

Liam chuckled softly. “That would be Bastien. He’s always had a bit of a soft spot for Olivia, ever since we were children.” He closed the door shut before walking towards the liquor cabinet. “May I offer you something to drink?”

“No, thank you,” she replied, taking a seat in one of the small couches. “To what do I owe this clandestine invitation?”

Liam sat down in the matching sofa across from Max, clasping his hands together as he carefully chose what to say next. “Max, you and I are both aware of the reason you’re here, participating in the social season. Under other circumstances, I’m certain you would have caught my eye, just as you did earlier this evening.”

Max chewed a tiny spot of her inner cheek. “There’s a ‘but’, isn’t there?”

“The reason you caught my eye was because you bear a striking resemblance to someone I met several years ago, before I met and married my first wife, Riley. Someone who, until tonight, I thought was lost to me.”

“Are you saying I’ve got a secret twin you’ve already met? This isn’t what I had in mind, but okay.” She grinned conspiratorially at him. “Who’s this doppelgänger that’s stuck with you?”

Liam sucked in a breath before answering. “As it were, it’s your sister. Elia.”

Max blinked at him silently, her eyes welling up with glossy tears at the mention of her name. “You…you knew Elia? When? When did you see her? Have you heard from her?” The questions tumbled out all at once, as Max tried to compose herself.

He picked up a gilded box of tissues from a side table, offering it to her. Max pulled two from the box, dabbing at the corners of her eyes, waiting for a response. “It’s been a number of years,” he began. “She was vacationing in Greece, just before she was supposed to return to university to study law.”

Max stopped dabbing at her tears to look up and study Liam’s face. “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re the guy.”

Liam’s brows pinched together. “She mentioned me?”

“Very briefly,” she responded. “Only that she met someone that gave her a reason to laugh every day, and seemed to understand what she – what we,” she paused, motioning to herself, “were going through, being…high profile?”

“That’s one way to describe it,” Liam chuckled softly. “She never said outright that she was a princess, but after we parted ways, many of the things we shared in our conversations made sense.” He looked up to see a puzzled expression on Max’s face. “Her fluency in languages, the way she could tell stories about growing up in vivid detail while overlooking things like ‘I grew up in a palace’ or ‘my parents were especially strict with me and my siblings’…”

“Oh by the way, that’s because they’re the king and queen?” Max scoffed lightly, shaking her head.

“I tried to look for her, for quite some time after that trip,” Liam added. “Only…my efforts were in vain, as the names she used were all nicknames. Even her own name wasn’t fully hers. Elia de Leon.”

Max sniffled and the puzzled expression returned to her face. “De Leon? That’s…our great-grandmother’s name.”

“I suppose that makes sense as well, now that I’m familiar with your family name. Had I searched for Elia Basilio, I might have found out about the royal connection, not that it would’ve changed my opinion of her.” Liam ran a hand across his face, his jawline and chin already rough with stubble. “You haven’t heard from her since that summer either? Anyone in your family?”

“No,” Max answered. “When her personal guard called the morning he was supposed to escort her home, he told my parents the apartment was empty…that she must have snuck away the night before.”

“But I was with her until morning.”

“What?”

“I…” Liam hesitated, taking in a breath. “I had dinner with Elia the night before she was supposed to leave. We talked long into the night, and I told her I was a prince. I even offered to let her stay with me here to take more time and consider alternative options to create some distance with your parents.”

“Because they wanted to marry her off, right?”

“Correct,” Liam nodded. “She only told me it was for a political alliance, to put your family name in a positive light after Mariela’s marriage to someone caused trouble.”

Max sighed with indignation. “That guy, ugh. That’s a story for another evening.” She began to wring the tissue between her hands. “But you saw Elia the next morning?”

“Yes, in fact I was the one that slipped out while she was still sleeping, long after dawn. I stopped for a coffee in the café below where she’d been staying, on my way to return home as well, and I…” Liam paused, recalling the man in the café that morning, remembering the other patron. “You said she had a personal security guard assigned to her?”

“Beni…Benigno, yes,” Max replied.

“Do you have a photo of him?”

“I can do better than that,” Max answered, pulling her phone from the pocket of her cardigan. “He’s here as my security and chaperone for the duration of my stay.”

[dangermousie]

Some more CFC thoughts (this novel is eating my life!)

I’ve been reading recent chapters in Russian (thanks yandex translate!) and even in that, some of Meatbun’s phrases hit so hard -  “what is left on this earth to help you overcome death is what you’ve given.“ SHIVERS.

The thing about XQC after RN13, is he keeps acting and thinking and feeling as if he’s already dead, and is drifting. He refers to himself being “like a ghost in a borrowed body” or, at another point “body borrowing a soul from a corpse” and you know what it makes me think of? He Yu in the aftermath of the videos, falling apart, and not being sure if he even exists.

They really are mirrors of each other, and it becomes clearer and clearer as the novel goes on - I mean, it’s clear by now, for example, that XQC is the opposite of unfeeling - look how he deeply yearns for the love of his sister and how her childish babble hurt him; how devoted he is to QCY and was to his parents. He feels so very deeply. That is why he has to repress so hard. QCY, who knows him so well, rightly thinks that he’s not deprived of emotions, he just has to stay calm to survive. It’s like HY (whose head we are mainly in) - outside he looks calm but inside, not so much.

And it’s interesting to think what would have happened if XQC didn’t leave back then or the videos didn’t come out now. Would he have really been HY’s QCY - bedrock paternal figure with nothing else? That is what XQC envisioned it as (I mean, the hit to my heart when I realized that he calls He Yu “little devil,” because that is what QCY called him!!! If that doesn’t say volumes about how much he cared for HY - to use the very term his father figure and savior used for him!) But I don’t think it would have ever mirrored it perfectly because XQC viewed QCY as a father. And long before he realized he’s attracted, long before he even knew anything, it’s clear HY was into XQC in a very non family way (remember him being 14 and the discomfort when he sees XQC’s marital bed at the thought of XQC being in it with his wife.)

But the other thing is, perhaps due to innate personality or perhaps due to different life circumstances, HY is a much much darker person. When we get those flashbacks, it’s made clear that after every fit, XQC is horrified and repentant (and he’s never, in his wildest moments, done anything near as bad as what HY did) and yet HY is not repentant between fits. We’ve seen him carrying on with his thing with XQC in between fits, for months, no repentance in sight (he finally wanted to apologize in 89 but still, not the same.)

And yet, despite taking a wrecking ball to XQC’s life, I love the symmetry of him possibly being a salvation of it. Not just because he’s the only one who can really understand what it’s like to live with that condition, but because XQC lives for others - QCY in order to get him to live did the whole “you should live for your sister, because she will be sad if you die” etc etc and it was necessary and good but with XQC’s tendencies also trapped him in “my life only has meaning if I live for others” and we see him thinking XX is an adult now and can take care of herself (and oh, he still puts her first - the whole not leaving her a note as a note would hurt her is so in keeping with that.) So maybe he can live for HY for now (like he was planning before the club) until he heals enough to feel he can live for himself, because he has a right to. (Very different novel, very different author, very different meaning, but makes me think of TCGF and Xie Lian’s “then live for me” which became a mantra for Hua Cheng.) He needs something to tie him to life.

You know it’s something of a Meatbun theme, and one I love - her couples save each other on very basic levels. I remember her essay about Mo Ran and CWN in 2ha, where she discusses how CWN saves Mo Ran from starvation but Mo Ran, meeting Mo Ran, has CWN join the world and eventually adult Mo Ran’s love and CWN’s feelings for him saves CWN from loneliness, from being forever barred from being human. (And I am not even getting into the whole saving each other across the universes over and over and over.) Or think of Yuwu - in addition to saving each other’s lives over and over throughout the narrative, they fight to save each other’s hearts and souls too. Mo Xi is finally not alone; Gu Mang is finally viewed as a person. In fact, so much of Yuwu’s narrative to me is how much of a person’s self can be lopped off and them still being the person you loved, what makes the “essence” of that person. And Gu Mang saved Mo Xi from loneliness and spells and whatever else. But Mo Xi, by loving Gu Mang no matter what is taken from Gu Mang - his memories, his reason, his persona, his very human nature in some ways - proves Gu Mang’s essential humanity more than anything else can. And honestly, this whole saving each other theme is present here too. Because XQC enabled HY to hang on, he saved his reason and his life (whether because HY would have cut too deeply at one point or he’d have gone violently mad) but I think HY will save XQC’s soul and allow him to feel again and to not be lonely, to be the forever solitary adult caretaker.

PS I am now 100% sure that fever post club was a flare up of XQC’s illness (which is brought on by extreme stress) which makes me wonder - will we ever see him have a full blown fit?

PPS He doesn’t just watch jellyfish for comfort and calm, they literally help him with his fits. His watching jellyfish videos as they are about to drown takes on a new meaning. Meatbun, taking every day things and making be bawl as usual.

[alchemy-fic]

DELETED scenes from 88 and 89

The doorbell rang.

  “MARI, who is it?” Eggman called.

“It’s… it’s your mother and she looks very upset.” MARI answered. “Do I enter lockdown mode?”

“Uh, no.” He escorted the Mobians to the operating room to wash up. He ran to Sheptilah and took her hands in his. “Please. Please be nice to Mama. She’s very abrasive but the sooner you meet her the better. It’s like ripping off a scab. She’ll leave on her own when she gets bored.”

“How bad can she be?” Tilly asked.

Eggman pulled her into the elevator and got off on the ground floor. “Just promise me you won’t hurt her and you’ll be patient.”

“Of course, Ivo.” Tilly cocked a brow.

“MARI, I want all the robots to treat Mama with respect. She’s still family so no blasting her, got it? Just keep her happy.”

“Yes, sir.” MARI answered.

Eggman threw open the door.

Before him stood a shorter, heavy set woman with the same luxurious mustache as her son. Her pink and white dress did not match her oversized teal church hat or her black pumps. She had the same black sclera and red irises as her son and spoke with a deep, booming voice. Her lipstick was expertly applied as was her eyeshadow. In her hand she carried an old, beat up suitcase.

“Mama!” He said through a forced smile.

“Why didn’t you invite me to your wedding, you slime bucket!? Just when were you going to tell me you got married!? ” She hollered. “I had to find out in the Mobius Home For Really Bizarre Mothers from some river rat’s bubbie that you got hitched! Is this the girl?” The woman spat.

“Mama, this is Sheptilah, my wife.” He gestured at her.

“Why does she look like Cher but with the colors inverted? Did you marry some dirty hippie? You didn’t even ask my permission to marry someone! How do I know if she’s any bad for you?”

“Mama, you will be pleased to know that Sheptilah is a  queen .”

“Oh, that explains it. You married a  goth  queen. Who else would mix black lipstick, heavy black eyeshadow and  white hair?”

 “I’m wearing kohl.” Tilly crossed her arms. “It’s my custom, I’m not  goth . My people never invaded the Roman empire.”

 “... Not  visigoths , girl.” Mama looked at her with a furrowed expression, one eyebrow cocked. “It’s like you aren’t… from this time. Nobody calls it kohl anymore...”

“She’s a  real queen… It’s a nation near Iran.” Eggman interjected.

 “Oh,  great  . Why haven’t you taken over the world or gone to war? However many goats he traded for you it was  too many, little girl.” She blew past the couple and trudged into the kitchen to fix herself a snack.

Eggman looked at his wife apologetically.

“That is not abrasive.” She hissed under her breath. “That’s  virulent . Also, I’m worth many, many goats.”

“I’m sorry. I love you, but  please handle her until I’m out of surgery. I’ll make it as quick as possible.” He trotted after his mother.

Sheptilah took her time following them.

    “Mama, I’m about to go help perform surgery on someone upstairs. In the meantime my wife and the robots will take care of your needs.”

“I didn’t raise such a wuss. Go, do your  totally real surgery thing. I’m sure it’ll be all your robots and not your own handiwork.” She popped open a soda and guzzled it.

“Mrs. Eggman…” Sheptilah said, watching her husband leave the room.

Ivo winced and broke into a sprint.

“My name is Sylvia Robotnik! My slimeball of a son changed his last name years ago because he was ashamed of our family name.” She tossed the empty can over her shoulder.

“My apologies, Mrs. Robotnik.”

“You, girl, will call me Madam.” She piled on random ingredients to make a giant, disgusting sandwich.

“Right, sorry.”

“So if you’re a queen why do you live here in this dump?” She knocked the refrigerator door closed with her hip, making the appliance rattle.

“Truthfully,” she hesitated, “I am a five thousand year old queen and my kingdom doesn’t really exist anymore.”

“Of course you are. So why would my loser son marry you? Oh, no. Did he knock you up?”

“Ivo is not a loser,” Tilly grit her teeth, “And I am not pregnant.”

“He’s a loser, sweetheart; but you’re avoiding the question. Why would he marry  you? ”

“Because he loves me?”

“Ivo doesn’t know  how to love! I didn’t raise him to be sappy and sentimental! And what’s he trying to pull by being buff now?” She sat down to eat.

Sheptilah picked up the can and put it in the recycling bin.

“How are you even that old?” Sylvia practically ate the entire sandwich in one slobbery bite without chewing.

“I’m a  witch and I was kept in a crystal for five thousand years until Ivo stumbled upon me and brought me home.”

“Oh, I see. You don’t have much experience with men! That’s why you decided to tie the knot with my loser son.”

  “Madam, I think you don’t understand. He’s built himself an empire and controls almost every continent from right here in this lair with his Egg Bosses. He’s a  literal  emperor. He has a base on the  moon . The moon!”

“So? What has he ever done for his mother?”

Tilly groaned in frustration. She balled her fists then relaxed. “Do you just not like me because I’m  brown-skinned ?”

“What? No, I don’t like you because you’re a hippie! Look at you recycling and cleaning and whatever else it is you do. I bet that ugly garden out back was your idea.”

“Hmm…” Sheptilah mulled this over. She switched gears.

“What?”

“I think you would like something to eat, yes? I make great honey cakes.”

“How good of a cook can you be? You are a string bean.” Sylvia looked her over suspiciously.

Sheptilah summoned a plate of piping hot fried dough and a pot of honey. She drizzled the golden liquid over the cakes and slid it toward Sylvia.

“I am a woman of many talents, Madam.” Sheptilah then summoned gold coins into her hands and turned them into brilliantly cut gemstones. “Your son and I have plans for world domination, we are just busy with other things at the moment.”

Sylvia pushed the plate away. “Parlor tricks. Not very impressive. I’m growing bored with you, girl.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I want to level this whole island to build a poorly designed parking lot with a ton of toll booths, for one. Then I want that stupid hedgehog caught and killed.”

“Are you talking about Sonic?”

“Yes! That pest! Always interfered when I tried to help my son get ahead in life. Do I smell cookies?”

“Yes, right this way.” Tilly escorted her to the dining room. “I made this tea myself.”

“Brew a fresh pot! I don’t know how long this has been sitting out here; and I want more cookies!” She practically inhaled the plate of leftover madeleines. “Don’t get any of your gross hair in them, either.”

“Right away,” Tilly left for the kitchen with the teapot. She washed it out and gathered some ingredients for a different brew.

Lavender, bergamot, catnip and lemon balm were added and boiled to extract flavor. As she poured the strained, boiling tea into two cups she whispered into one.

“ This tea as it passes lips, shall cause exhaustion with each sip. Every flavor strong and steep shall

curse the drinker into sleep. ”

Faint sparkles appeared as she blew across the tea. They disappeared and both cups looked identical again. Sheptilah turned the cursed tea cup so that the handle pointed inward and she could tell the difference.

She used magic to summon new cookies and brought them to the table.

    Sheptilah placed the teacups on the table with a click and slid the cursed one to Sylvia.

The woman picked up the warm cup in her hands and inhaled deeply. “Smells awful!”

Sheptilah waited patiently for the woman to sip her tea but Sylvia lingered on her cup. “You’re a witch, right?”

“Yes.”

“Can you read tea leaves? I want you to read my fortune.”

“I can read tea leaves.”

“Well, go get some so you can do that!” Sylvia put her cup down but kept her hands on it.

Sheptilah groaned and got up. She retrieved some tea leaves in a slotted spoon and came back. She tipped the leaves into Sylvia’s cup and set the utensil aside.

“What’s in this junk, anyway?” Sylvia took a sip and yawned. “The aftertaste isn’t bad, at least.”

Sheptilah smirked. “Bergamot, lavender, you know… tea stuff.”

Ivo’s mother rested her elbow on the table and leaned her face against her palm, sloppily swaying the

cup back and forth as if she was aerating wine. She watched the tea leaves spin in the vortex she created.

“Feeling tired?” Tilly asked in a somewhat antagonizing voice. Sheptilah sipped her tea primly.

“Yes, it was a long trip up here.”

“That’s too bad.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Sylvia grinned mischievously and guzzled down the rest of the drink. “You’re too pretty for my son.”

 “Hmm?”

 “You’re too  pretty . You’re outrageously skinny, your hair is too long and you wear nice clothes. You’re too pretty for him.”

 “Do you mean to say I’m too feminine?”

 “Too fragile in looks but not personality.” She shot a pointed look at Sheptilah, a broad and evil smile drawn across her face. “I figured you’d try to poison me.”

Tilly stiffened up. She felt her chest grow warm and her eyes become heavy.

“I’m immune to all that from years of eating hospital food but I switched the cups  just in case .”

Sheptilah’s hands went numb. She dropped the cup and it shattered, spilling its cursed contents on the table. Sylvia stood and walked around toward the prone witch without letting the tea touch her.

“Ivo may be an idiot but he’s  my idiot and I know my idiots. I know he’d never settle for anyone who wasn’t as smart and conniving as him; but I’m disappointed with how weak you are. A garden, recycling, being clean and nice? It’s disgusting in all the wrong ways! If you really knew what you were doing you'd have cursed both cups.”

“I eviscerated Katella.” Sheptilah muttered. "I can and will kill  you , too."

“But you healed her and look what happened.” Sylvia pointed to the missing finger.

 “How do you…”

 “I have access to and read the EggNet, sweetheart.”

“How?” She struggled to stay awake.

“My son is predictable and never changed his passwords.” Sylvia gingerly brushed Sheptilah’s hair out of her face. “Are you dying?” The leaves stuck in her teeth made her smile look all the more menacing.

“No… It’s… sleep...”

“Too bad. Don’t worry,  I  won’t kill you.”

KORin entered the room. “Step away, Sylvia.”

“What the Hell are  you supposed to be?” Mama Robotnik rested her hands on her hips. “Some kind of maid bot?”

“I’m the bouncer. It’s time for you to go.” KORin fixed her eyes on the woman.

“Nah, no thanks.” Sylvia walked up to the robot. “Stand down, tin woman.”

“My orders are to protect the family. I am here to protect the empress. Leave.”

“See, that’s the thing. Who is higher up on the rung? The emperor or the emperor’s mother?”

“KORin… it’s okay.” Sheptilah shut her eyes. “It won’t last… long…”

“Are you sure?” The robot stared at the witch.

“Yessss...” She passed out.

“So? What are you waiting for?” Sylvia stomped her foot. “Let’s move the body and get started on world domination!”

 An hour into the surgery things were well underway and proceeding fine.

“Doctor Eggman?” Smiley looked up from his work when he saw the human move oddly out of the corner of his eye.

    The human swayed on his feet. “Maybe I was not ready to come back…” He sat on the floor away from the operating table and rubbed his temples. “Suddenly I’m exhausted.”

Lourdes jumped down and checked him over. “When did you last eat?”

“Not that long ago.” He answered.

“Stay here for a minute, okay? Until you feel better.” Lourdes went back to monitoring Maw’s vitals.

“This surgery is going to take at least five hours and I need you awake to supervise. Remember, if the cybernetics malfunction we could all get sucked in! That sounds terrible.” Smiley dug around in Maw’s gums.

Eggman shook it off and stood. “I’m fine, I think I just had some kind of blood pressure drop. It only lasted a spell.” He stretched until he heard the joints in his spine pop.

“Neurally mediated hypotension!” Smiley looked up. “You were standing still too long hunched

over and watching us. Walk around the room a bit, you’ll feel better.” The corgi went back to his work.

  “Wakey, wakey… your mother in law is ka-ray-zee.” Scourge shook the witch by the shoulders.

Sheptilah snored loudly.

“For God’s sake, lady! What happened?” He lifted her by her hair and slapped her face.

No reaction.

 “I wish I could sleep like the dead.” Scourge slapped his own forehead. “The living, I wish I could sleep like the living… Oh, fuck.” He noticed the cursed tea twinkled oddly in his vision.

“Fuck! Fuck. How do you break curses… shit.” Scourge wiggled his fingers in her direction. “Abracadabra!”

Nothing.

“Um... what did she fuckin’ say once?” He muttered to himself. “Hex breaking… it was some stupid bullshit…oh! Cayenne pepper! Anything fuckin’ spicy.”

Scourge floated into the pantry and knocked ingredients over haphazardly. When he found the pepper he grinned. Grabbing it, he tried to fly out of the pantry only to get stuck with the pepper not passing through the door.

    “Shit!” He struggled to pull it through, the bottle clanging against the metal. “Come. The. Fuck. On! Why does this work with people but not…”

The plastic bottle pulled through but without the powder inside inside it.

“Pepper. Right… that shit wards off ghosts. There must be no ghosts in fuckin’ Mexico...”

 He calmly opened the pantry and tried to scoop up the pepper but it simply passed through his fingers.

“This is so fucking stupid!” He howled.

He angrily floated to the table and picked up Sylvia’s unbroken teacup and poured it out onto the floor. He then went to the pile of pepper and tried to scoop it into the cup with the same fruitless results.

“Fine, we do this the hard way!” He grabbed Sheptilah by the underarms and dragged her to the pile and dropped her face directly into it.

He glowered when he heard Sheptilah snore loudly. After a second the witch sat up sputtering. She clawed at her face, tears streaming from her eyes and mucus from her nose. She vomited up the sparse contents of her stomach.

Scourge calmly walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of milk. He unscrewed the cap and doused Sheptilah over the head.

“What the Hell, Scourge!?” She choked.

“I just saved your ass, Sleeping Beauty. You’re a real idiot for trying to play the evil queen by cursing her tea. You should’ve cursed both cups and not drank from either!”

Sheptilah felt her way to the sink and washed her burning face. “I’m going to become a necromancer just to bring you back to life so I can slap you to death.” She sloshed some water in her mouth before spitting it out.

“The pepper got into my lungs!” She coughed deeply.

“You’ll heal. Listen… your mother in law is nuts! Nuttier than squirrel shit! Kick her out!”

“Scourge, I can’t breathe. I’m tempted to turn my lungs inside out and run them under cold water…”

“Wouldn’t that make you drown?”

“I can give myself gills!” She spat up a huge wad of phlegm straight into the sink and washed it down the drain.

“It’s the only way I was able to break the spell, ya ingrate.” He crossed his transparent arms.

“Thanks.” The burning began to subside. “What’s Sylvia doing?”

“Trashing the place. She’s already bossin’ Orbie and Cubey around and threw around a bunch of furniture; including the sofa.”

“The really big and soft one?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll have her head!” Sheptilah charged off, bumping into things with her eyes red and bleary. “Sylvia!” She called.

“I told you to call me Madam!” The woman shouted back. “I’m in the den, if you could call it that!”

    Sheptilah walked in to see Sylvia moving all the heavy furniture around with one hand.

Holy shit,  she thought.  That woman has the same strength as Ivo!

“So what happened to your kingdom, anyway? If you were a queen we should use this to our advantage.”

“Advantage for what? World domination?” Tilly crossed her arms. Scourge appeared next to her.

 Mama Robotnik let the sofa land with a hard thud. It was moved to the other side of the room blocking an exit.

“Giant parasites we sealed in the moon broke out when your son cracked said moon in half with his nonsense. They’re back and trying to kill everything but especially me. They’re causing all those wild earthquakes.”

“That’s your story?” The woman turned to Sheptilah and stared at her with disbelief.

“It’s true.”

“And how exactly has this prevented you two from taking over the world?”

“Well, we can’t take over a planet if something actively trying to destroy it is in our way. Once we get rid of those things we will decide what we want to do with the empire; but I won’t lie. I am considering expanding it.”

“By how much?” Sylvia cocked a brow.

“I want to convert my pyramid into a base and work on getting a large space station going.” Tilly nodded to herself.

“Small potatoes. Think bigger! Hold the sun for ransom!”

“He tried that once and it didn’t quite work out.”

“Moon for ransom?”

“He already tried that, too.”

“What about all the freshwater for ransom?”

 “Eh, pretty much did that.”

“The planet for ransom!”

“Yep. He did that. That one  almost worked.”

    Sylvia flopped onto the sofa with a disgusted sigh. “But the hedgehog got into the way.”

“Among other things.” Sheptilah stuck out her hip. “Ivo is smart but he often does things without thinking. It’s really not that hard to kill Sonic, he just doesn't want to.”

“See, that’s his problem! He has no killer instinct, but you seem to have a semblance of one.” Sylvia sat up and straightened her hat.

“I have personally executed six people.”

“One of which being the child ghost that is making faces behind your back?” Mama Robotnik smirked.

Sheptilah whipped her head around to see Scourge was acting cute and innocent. She squinted at him before turning back to face Sylvia. “I’m not proud of his death. He’s haunting me.”

“Neener neener nee-nee!” Scourge teased. “Nah, the haunting was revoked forever ago. I’m just here for fun now.”

Mama Robotnik stroked her sizable mustache. “Still, why would my son marry you? More importantly, why wouldn’t he tell me? ”

“Because it was supposed to be a  secret . We eloped. We’re not going public with the marriage until a later date. Trust me, he’d invite the world to come see his splendid wedding and get himself decked out and all that.”

Sheptilah sighed, tapping her upper arm with her fingers.

“We’re on thin ice with GUN because Shadow the hedgehog is my familiar, as you probably know.”

“Shadow? ” Sylvia thought this over. “ Gerald’s  Shadow? I remember when he was this big.” She held her hands apart by about a foot. “He was an ugly baby. He looked like a turd crossed with a raisin.” She grimaced.

Tilly chuckled. “Yes, that Shadow. I guess not everything is on the EggNet.”

“They executed Gerald, his creator, and Shadow works for GUN anyway?” Sylvia grit her teeth and her face turned red with fury.

“Yeah, after they kept him in stasis for fifty years, destroyed his memory and tried to kill him.” Sheptilah shook her head, “I have a feeling he won’t work for them much longer. GUN really, really hates that he’s my familiar but recognizes they can’t do anything about it.”

They stared at each other in silence for a while.

“So who is my son performing surgery on upstairs?”

“Maw the thylacine. He’s one of the Egg Bosses. His jaw is all messed up.”

    “Bah, when will he hire more humans? Who needs animals when you have human beings around? Besides you, of course. You barely count as a human; what with your alien magic nonsense and all that.”

Sheptilah rolled her eyes. “Well, it was nice having you for a visit but now you need to leave. We’re getting ready to bug bomb the place once Ivo’s done with the surgery and no living person can be here.”

“Oh, please! This place is spick and span! Clean as a whistle! It’s disgusting, really.”

“Madam... “

“Take my suitcase.” Sylvia threw it at Sheptilah. She barely caught it, the impact knocking the wind out of her. “And get the master bedroom ready. That’s where I’ll be sleeping. You and my moron of a son can sleep outside in your hippy garden.”

“He is not a moron.”

“He married  you , didn’t he?”

    Tilly adjusted her grip on the suitcase. “Scourge?”

“Yes?” The ghost smirked.

“Take this… and show her to her room.” She handed the spirit the luggage. Scourge understood and grinned at Sylvia.

“Right this way, Your Disgusting-ness!” Scourge bowed in a grand but obviously sarcastic gesture. He grabbed Sylvia with his free hand and dragged her through the walls and out of the lair.

“Don’t let her back in.” Sheptilah instructed MARI. “Please reactivate your and your sister’s bodies.”

“Thank God for you, mom.” MARI chirped.

Scourge came back, very proud of himself.

“Thank you, King Scourge. Fantastic work.”

“I love throwing people out on their asses.” he ‘dusted’ off his hands. “As long as spicy pepper isn’t involved I can do anything I want.”

“You may outgrow that cosmic ‘allergy’ as you get stronger.” Tilly giggled. “But you’ll always be affected by blessed salt.”

“I’m fucked if I ever go into a salt and pepper store.” He gestured like he was hanged with a noose.

 “MARI, how’s the wife doing?” Eggman said.

“She and Scourge just kicked your mom out.”

“It’s nice they’re getting along.” A pause, and then: “Wait, what?”

The lair rumbled.

“Jeepers creepers!” Smiley yelped. “Earthquake?”

“No, that would be my mother.” Eggman sighed. “Finish up with him; I’ll be right back.”

He hurried out of the room.

     “Sylvia!” The witch howled. “Put down the boulder!” She stood in front of MARI and KORin with her arms out protectively.

The hulking woman held the giant chunk of outcrop she broke over her head with little effort.

“No! You will learn some manners!” She broke the boulder in half simply by pulling it apart like stale bread.

“What kind of Mickey Mouse physics is that!? ” MARI cried.

“Girls, go back inside.” Tilly whispered harshly.

“No way!” MARI refused.

“You can’t do anything, MARI. It’s forbidden for you to hurt his family and unfortunately that’s family!”

“But we can still defend you.” KORin said.

“Do so from inside the lair. Maw’s still in surgery and he needs the protection. That’s an order!” Tilly ran in zig-zags, making it hard for Sylvia to aim the rocks. The robots lingered in the doorway before going inside.

    Mama Robotnik threw both stones at the same time, both just barely missing the witch.

Sheptilah looked up at the shadow darkening over her body. It was Mama Robotnik coming in elbow-first with a wrestling slam. Sheptilah, eyes wide, stared up for the split second it took for gravity to pull the massive woman downwards. All at once the air was knocked from Tilly’s lungs and she was seeing stars.

The acrid smell of sweat and cheap perfume was all she could sense. Mama Robotnik stood up and

trotted off to pick another boulder to hurl.

Sheptilah, dazed and unable to focus, was sure she was flattened like a piece of paper. She felt the back of her head, noting her skull was cracked open and chunks of bone floated in brain matter. Warm blood streamed from her nose. She touched her forehead with her fingers, feeling the indent caused by Sylvia’s elbow.

Another shadow descended upon her. She flinched, believing it would be another blow but instead nothing happened.

Small stones fell around her with an almost hollow clatter. She looked up and saw it was her husband who had just punched the boulder to smithereens.

“Mother!” He shouted angrily.

    Shadow teleported in with a massive headache. “Ti-ti! Sorry I’m late; I came as soon as I felt something was off.” He didn’t seem to be too shaken by the image of his witch with her brains out and about. She healed just as quickly on her own.

“Hi, Shads!” She said dreamily.

    “She was rude!” Sylvia said petulantly. “I had to show her who was boss.”

Ivo’s fist throbbed. “You need to leave, Mother.”

Shadow turned to Eggman. “Do you want me to kill her?” He started toward Sylvia.

“Maybe.” Eggman said. “Open a portal to some place far away, if you please.”

    Sylvia protested. Screaming nonsense, she charged at her only son.

Shadow slashed at the air and opened a knot to a mostly deserted beach.

Ivo picked up his mother, held her over his head and unceremoniously tossed her in. He chucked in her suitcase after.

Shadow closed the portal and helped his witch to her feet.

“Where’d you send her?” Ivo asked.

He shook off his headache. “Coney Island, New York.” Shadow smirked.

“This is the second time my brains were on your lawn, Ivo.” Sheptilah frowned.

Ivo looked at his aching fist and saw his glove was torn and bloody. He walked over to his wife and held her tightly. “Why weren’t you fighting back?”

“It’s hard when your brain is trying to reconstruct itself…” She shuddered. “Thank you for… saving my life.” The full horror of what occurred finally hit her and she stumbled.

    He caught her and kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry I had to leave you with her. I should’ve just kicked her out at first sight. I won’t let her come back ever again. I just couldn’t let the two doctors sit with Maw for that long because the bombs are so delicate sometimes.”

“How did the surgery go?” Sheptilah felt ice cold and shivered.

“Hm? Oh, Maw is in recovery but I don’t care about him right now.” He rubbed her shoulders to warm her up.

“Recovery? Oh, his jaw.” Shadow pretended like he forgot. “You did that today? With your mother here?”

“My mother surprised me.” Ivo huffed. “Had to leave my poor wife with her for four hours…” He rocked her back and forth in his arms.

 “I’m okay, really. The lair is a mess but I can clean it up… I tried to curse her with sleep but ended up being cursed myself and while I was out she was rearranging things.”

“Just rest, honey. I’ll have the robots do that.” He ran his hand over the back of her head and cringed when he felt chunks of brain matter and bone. She was really hurt if the meninges tore that easily… what the Hell did my mother do? He thought. “Actually, I’m going to have Lourdes look you over.”

    “Should I stay?” Shadow asked her.

“Only if you want to, Shads.” She nodded.

“Call me if you need me.” He took a step back and teleported out. A ring of dust was left behind and blew away in the wind.

“I’m so sorry, Tilly.” Ivo hugged her tightly. “I never should have let her stay. I knew something like this would happen.”

“How did you survive your childhood?” Tilly looked up at him.

“I got myself into boarding school and left home at a very young age.”

She buried her face in his chest.

[longsightmyth]

Aaaaaaaaaand here’s what I’ve got so far for the current readthrough of ToD for fragments etc. Sharp eyes will note that it has taken me over a year and I still haven’t finished the reread. It’s just very bad, okay? Cut for dash mercy.

June 21, 2018 – page 4 

 0.61% "Apparently the problem with Adarlan conquering everything was not the conquering, but the fact that they had an evil dictator in charge.

I mean, in fairness, the evil dictator probably didn't HELP, but in the kind of person who considers conquering a symptom of BEING an evil dictator, so?"

June 21, 2018 – page 15 

 2.27% ""That Sartaq was here... they had to have known, then. Well in advance. That she and Chaol were coming."

That reads like I hit the space bar on my iPhone a couple too many times but I swear to you that is exactly how it's written in the book. I have changed NOTHING."

June 21, 2018 – page 16 

 2.42% "I'm also still confused about why the captain of the royal guard was sent as an ambassador instead of staying to administer the royal guard."

June 27, 2018 – page 19 

 2.88% "There are so many fragments, y'all. So many."

June 27, 2018 – page 27 

 4.09% "For once the angst feels earned here (we know that Nesryn cares and works for the wellbeing of Rifthold and her family and we've seen it). Do I wish there were fewer Drama Fragments? Yes. Still, I'm glad we got this bit from Nesryn's PoV and for once it wasn't All About Celaena OR A Boy."

June 28, 2018 – page 30 

 4.55% ""My Tumelun. The words told enough about the prince's closeness with his sister."

First of all, OBVIOUSLY. Second, there really is a way to say this as if Chaol is thinking it and not as if you are explaining to the reader. For instance:

"My Tumelun. They had been close, then."

BOOM."

June 28, 2018 – page 30 

 4.55% "I've harped on this before, and while it's permissible for Kashin in his grief and/or naïveté to have blind spots ("no one within our lands would be stupid enough [to murder Tumelun]") Chaol has no such excuse and neither does the narrative."

June 28, 2018 – page 31 

 4.7% ""...Aelin had hard lines that she did not cross. Killing or harming children was one of them."

Let me refer you to that time in Heir of Fire where she threatened to burn an entire city's population alive and we were from her PoV so we know she meant it and she SAID IT WITH A SMILE."

June 28, 2018 – page 31 

 4.7% "Also that time she threatened to burn up the population of Rifthold."

June 28, 2018 – page 31 

 4.7% "Oh yeah also that manor house she said she'd kill the entire population of if even a tiny word got out about her presence or previous presence there. That place had kids too. I'm pretty sure we saw and/or heard them playing in the yard."

June 28, 2018 – page 31 

 4.7% "Just because she hasn't threatened or hurt a SPECIFIC CHILD for SPECIFIC REASONS does not mean that she doesn't harm or (in fairness threaten to) murder children. That's just three examples off the top of my head."

June 28, 2018 – page 33 

 5.0% ""Had not even considered that the shadow of Morath might have already stretched this far."

Chaol, per Queen of Shadows the Valg, whose stated intentions are to destroy the world and rule the ruins, have been out and plotting since BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. You're an idiot if you didn't consider them using over twenty years of time to, oh, WORK TOWARDS DESTROYING THE WHOLE WORLD AND RULING THE RUINS."

June 28, 2018 – page 33 

 5.0% "Then again the series never considered that before this point either so maybe I should cut Chaol some slack?"

June 28, 2018 – page 35 

 5.3% "This reads like a dude wrote it, and not a dude who thinks women are actual people."

July 9, 2018 – page 37 

 5.61% ""Until an unknown healer's daughter from Fenharrow [who had only been training for two years] was approached by healers old and young, who had trained their entire lives, for her advice and assistance."

Look."

July 9, 2018 – page 37 

 5.61% "If this was portrayed as 'they needed somebody with a hella lot of magic and guided her through things' that would be one thing, but are you telling me this chick is in her second year at the magical equivalent of medical school and all of the surgeons are coming to her for surgery advice?"

July 9, 2018 – page 37 

 5.61% "I think I commented on this last time but still:

"There were two such vials on the desk now, clear orbs atop silver feet fashioned after ibis legs. Being purified by the endless sunshine within the tower."

You'd think I made a mistake typing with my phone, right? Hit the space bar twice maybe and added an accidental period?

I did not. That's a direct quote from the book."

July 9, 2018 – page 44 

 6.67% "Are Renia and Hassar married or not, please make up your mind, book. Here Renia is referred to as Hassar's lover but I think later on it says wife without any marriage happening in between so like."

July 24, 2018 – page 53 

 8.03% ""Chaol had barely slept.

Partially due to the unrelenting heat, partially due to the fact that they were in a tentative ally's fraught household, full of potential spies and unknown dangers- perhaps even from Morath itself - and partially due to what had befallen Rifthold and all he held dear.

And partially due to the meeting that he was now minutes away from having.""

July 24, 2018 – page 53 

 8.03% "This is what happens when you rush books, don't listen to your editor, and use second drafts at best."

July 24, 2018 – page 53 

 8.03% ""Chaol barely slept that night. It could have been the unrelenting heat, it could have been the spies and unknown dangers of the house - or of Morath. It could have been the news of Rifthold, and the lack of news that followed. It could have been all of it.

Part of it was definitely the anxiety over the meeting that had yet to begin."

**jazz hands**"

July 24, 2018 – page 54 

 8.18% ""They'd asked him about the butchering of the slaves in Calaculla and Endovier at dinner.

Or the oily one, Arghun, did. Had the prince been among Chaol's new recruits to the royal guard, he would have easily gotten him to fall in line thanks to a few well-timed shows of skill and sheer dominance. But here, he had no authority to bring the conniving, haughty prince to heel.

Not even when Arghun wanted to know...""

July 24, 2018 – page 54 

 8.18% ""...why the former King of Adarlan had deemed it necessary to enslave his people. And then put them down like animals. Why the man had not looked to the southern continent for education on the horrors of the stain of slavery - and avoided instituting it.

Chaol had to offer curt answers on the verge of being impolite. Sartaq, the only one of them beyond Kashin whom Chaol was inclined to like, had finally tired..."

July 24, 2018 – page 54 

 8.18% ""...of his older brother's questioning and steered the conversation away."

Holy mackerel is there a lot to unpack there, but first of all: Arghun for president, y'all.

Second, king is improperly capitalized there. Have fun with that.

Third, why is Arghun the oily conniving one for being like 'yo why the hell did y'all keep slaves?'"

July 24, 2018 – page 54 

 8.18% "Fourth, it might be poor diplomacy on a technical level, but honestly Arghun and the SC contingent have all the power here. They don't have to worry about being polite, because what are Chaol and Nesryn going to do, leave? (they probably wish they would)"

July 24, 2018 – page 54 

 8.18% "Fifth, Chaol, suck it up. You participated in and helped to continue a regime that not only practiced slavery but encouraged it. I have no sympathy for your hurt feelings about being called on it. Aren't you supposed to be anti-slavery? Shouldn't you be going 'look man it sucked and was wrong. I know that. You know that. The new king has ended the practice even if he apparently hasn't considered reparations.'"

July 24, 2018 – page 54 

 8.18% "But no, Arghun is the one in the wrong here apparently?"

July 25, 2018 – page 57 

 8.64% "I'd forgotten Yrene's 'honey-colored' hands."

July 25, 2018 – page 66 

 10.0% "Still unsure why a medical professional won't just say the word penis."

July 25, 2018 – page 70 

 10.61% "Okay I got one mention of male healers existing. Apparently it's almost exclusively a female gift. Why? Who knows. Not the book.

Nothing mentioned about any cultural stuff surrounding it either."

July 25, 2018 – page 71 

 10.76% "I'm starting to wonder if the author just hasn't realized how self-aggrandizing things sound when written in third person limited or first person?"

August 26, 2018 – page 82 

 12.42%

August 27, 2018 – page 86 

 13.03% "Sure of course it's a weakness to care where the only other member of your diplomatic envoy is and if she's gone missing. Of course. It's obviously not just common sense or competence. Why are the 'politics' in these books such nonsense."

August 27, 2018 – page 87 

 13.18% "Other people have commented on this, but if everyone here is human why does the book keep calling everyone males and females."

August 27, 2018 – page 88 

 13.33% ""See how he trips over himself," Arghun muttered over Duva, her husband, and Chaol to say to Sartaq.

 That makes it look like Arghun is a married woman talking over her husband, when I know that Arghun is an unmarried man. You have to specify in this case. Or you could, you know. Name your characters."

August 27, 2018 – page 89 

 13.48% ""Kashin shut his mouth, ever the trained soldier.

And somehow Chaol knew-that fast-that Kashin was not being considered for the throne."

First of all, SOMEHOW? You detail why in the next sentence."

August 27, 2018 – page 89 

 13.48% ""...he seemed decent, though. A better alternative than the sneering, aloof Arghun, or the wolflike Hasar."

Interesting how being wolflike is positive when it's men but negative when it's women.

Also, Arghun for president. He's the spymaster dude who talks to the viziers. Obviously my vote goes to Arghun."

August 27, 2018 – page 91 

 13.79% "I hate how Chaol lecturing Nesryn about coming in late morphs into him patronizing her about how they're fighting to make Adarlan safer for her specifically.

Listen, dickface. She's the one who apparently had ROCKS thrown at her in Adarlan. Let her enjoy walking around safely.

Also I hate that he's lecturing her about coming in late."

August 27, 2018 – page 97 

 14.7% "So. I appreciate that Yrene tries in this one instance to be considerate of Chaol's wants/needs, re: his disability. I appreciate MUCH LESS that it is here specifically in an attempt to contrast Yrene and Nesryn. I wouldn't even be super mad about that except that Yrene is only considerate of Chaol and his wants/needs, re: his disability when Nesryn is around to be contrasted against."

August 27, 2018 – page 97 

 14.7% "It only counts as a character trait if it's consistent, and it isn't. Instead it's used as a way to shame Nesryn, when Yrene does the same and worse to Chaol multiple times but is excused because 'she means well.'"

August 27, 2018 – page 99 

 15.0% "This is SO STUPID she is a healer DOING HER JOB why does it MATTER if she goes into his bedroom?"

August 27, 2018 – page 103 

 15.61% "This is a tiny thing in the grand scheme but "pure as sea-foam" made me laugh because I live in Florida and there is a lot of sea-foam. Almost none of it is 'pure'."

August 27, 2018 – page 109 

 16.52% "I don't care how many times it shows up. I am going to mark The Hand of the King/ The Hand of Adarlan with a red tab labeled ASoIaF EVERY TIME."

September 27, 2018 – page 113 

 17.12% ""You must enter where you fear to tread."

Uh-huh."

September 27, 2018 – page 115 

 17.42% "So while I like the idea of this scene with Yrene and the other healer, the fact remains that it has taken more than 100 pages to show us something that is ostensibly a fundamental part of Yrene's character, and from what I remember we have precious few other scenes of it later."

September 27, 2018 – page 115 

 17.42% "The trait? That Yrene has a drive to help people."

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% ""How many meals had he himself been positioned by the doors, or out in the courtyard, monitoring his king? How many times had he laid into his men for slouching, for chattering amongst themselves, and reassigned them to lesser watches?""

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% "Okay first of all, as THE (singular, only) captain of the royal guard your place is the organizing, hiring, and inspecting of the Royal guard, not the actual guarding except for special occasions, at which point you would be with the king as the visible face of the king's protection."

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% "SECOND. You have never 'laid into' guards for chatting or slouching. You have in fact completely forgiven them for ABANDONING THEIR POSTS WITHOUT NOTICE because somebody else said it was fine. Your response? "Okay just don't do it again.""

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% "I repeat, they abandoned their posts because a general from a conquered land told them it was fine, leaving their king completely open to attack, and you told them 'okay just don't do it again'"

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% "Am I harping on this? ABSOLUTELY. Chaol's inner turmoil loses all emotional punch because he and the narrative are LYING to us. Instead of pulling my heartstrings, it just makes me angry.

This is also why Maas is the queen of the retcon, by the way."

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% ""No sign - none - of any wicked force, whether dispatched from Morath or elsewhere. No sign beyond those white banners to honor their fallen princess."

I had no idea the wicked forces had a fallen princess, single separate two-sentence paragraph.

Also, it should be 'the white banners'"

September 27, 2018 – page 117 

 17.73% ""There was no sign of wickedness, from Morath or elsewhere - no sign but the white banners that honored the fallen princess."

It's not HARD, book."

November 30, 2018 – page 121 

 18.33% ""A summer storm galloped in off the sea just before midnight."

This one might be petty and I freely admit it, but that's kind of a funky way to put that."

February 11, 2019 – page 121 

 18.33% "I'm back!

I'd forgotten how awful the em dashes were. Like, I remembered they were BAD, I'd just forgotten HOW bad."

February 11, 2019 – page 123 

 18.64% "Picturing Kat's face in the section with Yrene and the 10,000+ year old document being touched with bare hands is what keeps me going y'all"

February 11, 2019 – page 127 

 19.24% "For someone ostensibly skeptical, Yrene sure does take every illustration in the book literally instead of even considering the possibility of metaphors or, like. Science."

February 11, 2019 – page 129 

 19.55% "The irony of Yrene being better at situational awareness and planning what around her could be improvised weaponry than Celaena, who ostensibly taught her these things, is not lost on me.

It's lost on the book though."

February 11, 2019 – page 132 

 20.0% "Why does everyone in these books have a capitalized Heir"

February 11, 2019 – page 132 

 20.0% "Also, the Heir Librarian as a title sounds stupid (no that's literally the title, not even Heir to the Librarian or anything)"

February 11, 2019 – page 132 

 20.0% "All it would take was a week observing the library to know it never closes and Bob's your uncle the 'closing toll' of the library bell jig is up.

I'm just saying."

May 4, 2019 – page 144 

 21.82%

July 22, 2019 – page 145 

 21.97% ""Either your lack on consciousness during that initial healing kept you from feeling this sort of pain, or perhaps whatever this is had not... settled."

Or Sarah Janet needed More Drama."

July 22, 2019 – page 146 

 22.12% "I forgot that apparently the valg magic and therefore Chaol's injury persists because it's feeding on his self hate or whatever.

See kids, all you have to do is be happy and believe in yourself and your disability will go away."

July 22, 2019 – page 146 

 22.12% ""It was all he could do not to shrink from that frank gaze."

Why not her frank gaze? Like, it's not grammatically incorrect - the sentence before says she's staring at him, it's referring to a gaze mentioned before - but I don't think it's strong writing."

July 22, 2019 – page 146 

 22.12% "Have Yrene own her frank gaze or have Chaol associate it with her directly instead of disconnecting it. "It was all he could do not to flinch from her frank gaze."

YMMV I guess."

July 22, 2019 – page 147 

 22.27% ""Yrene's face was an unreadable mask that would have given Dorian a run for his money."

Maybe it's my own failing, but Dorian has never been described as expressionless or unreadable in my memory, or at least not enough to stick out."

July 22, 2019 – page 148 

 22.42% ""Since [Nesryn's] hair fell only to her shoulders, he had difficulty braiding it back"

French braids are a thing, even if I'd object to them being called French braids in these books."

July 22, 2019 – page 150 

 22.73% ""A land claimed by a conquering nation, yet loved and nurtured."

Not you too, Nesryn."

July 22, 2019 – page 154 

 23.33% ""There is beauty in my father's lands," the prince went on while Kadara ripped into that monstrous carcass, "but there is much lurking beneath the surface, too."

Sigh.

"There is beauty in my father's lands," the prince went on while Kadara feasted on the monster, "but much lurks beneath the surface, too.""

July 23, 2019 – page 161 

 24.39% "Love how Yrene explicitly says "add lots of honey" but is then judgy because Kadja added too much honey."

July 25, 2019 – page 162 

 24.55% "There's this thing we have where we consider the endurance of pain a virtue, somehow. Even if you agree with that, bad people can still have virtues.

Yrene starts rethinking Chaol's morality because he 'did not break' over the pain when her magic was trying to heal him.

Tldr: pain endurance is not the sole province of good people, and enduring pain doesn't make you good"

July 25, 2019 – page 164 

 24.85% "Why ARE the valg only trying to kill Yrene if she has the same healing gift as other healers?"

July 25, 2019 – page 164 

 24.85% "Okay also my disability is not Chaol's disability etc etc but the narrative is poo-pooing on Nesryn and Kadja for helping him into bed when he's so tired he can barley talk, because Yrene would have made him do it himself.

Like, honestly? That makes Yrene sound an awful lot like somebody who would go 'you're out of spoons? Do it anyway'"

July 25, 2019 – page 166 

 25.15% "Look y'all much as I dislike Yrene on a personal level she isn't WRONG for clearly having 'personal reservations' about Chaol's 'former role in the empire'.

He not only benefitted from but actively worked to keep the aforementioned empire in power. He got FRUSTRATED when the king wouldn't let him guard the king effectively. He wasn't even just some dude off in the hinterlands: HE WAS THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD."

November 4, 2019 – page 176 

 26.67% "In all seriousness what is Sarah Janet Maas' beef with the word 'the'?"

November 4, 2019 – page 176 

 26.67% "WHITE

FUCKING

HORSES"

November 4, 2019 – page 178 

 26.97% "How does Yrene have a good seat and yet bounce everywhere and keep grabbing the saddle horn"

November 4, 2019 – page 184 

 27.88% "Oh yeah. This part."

November 4, 2019 – page 184 

 27.88% ""The skin was leathery - as warm as her smile."

The one time you use 'the' it's in a place that detaches the reader from a living breathing human's human-ness? HER skin, book. HER skin."

November 4, 2019 – page 186 

 28.18% "The page (well, this and the one before) that made me hate Yrene."

November 17, 2019 – page 187 

 28.33% ""She means well, my Yrene."

That doesn't matter when she literally asked a disabled man to help her with something and when he got there PROCEEDED TO LECTURE AN ENTIRE YARD ON HIS DISABILITY WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION, WHEN HE LITERALLY PHYSICALLY COULD NOT LEAVE.

And to the best of my recollection she never apologizes."

November 17, 2019 – page 187 

 28.33% ""Her instinct is to teach other people" How lovely maybe she could do that without LITERALLY HOLDING A DISABLED MAN THERE AGAINST HIS WILL.

"But Myth, she didn't mean to! She just wasn't thinking"

LITERALLY MY POINT"

November 17, 2019 – page 187 

 28.33% ""But Myth, the author didn't mean to make it like that" Maybe if she'd bothered ASKING a single disabled person instead of watching some youtube videos she might have LEARNED."

November 17, 2019 – page 190 

 28.79% "And look. I applaud people learning how to defend themselves and teaching others. HOWEVER. Chaol has only taught soldiers, and aside from that the idea that one or two sessions allows you to master several self-defense techniques is unlikely at best. It takes time, it takes repetition, and it takes someone who had more than one morning's instruction herself.

Just saying."

January 4, 2020 – Shelved as: assassin-rolls-do-it-better

May 30, 2020 – page 191 

 28.94% "It’s hard to tell with this author what distance we are in the narration. Feyre and Yrene both make snide little comments about people not caring or not doing something (in Yrene’s case, Chaol not smiling at her after her despicable behavior, in Feyre’s case Nesta not getting her a gift). I begin to suspect we aren’t supposed to see this as the character commenting on the event but the narration."

May 30, 2020 – page 191 

 28.94% "UNFORTUNATELY the books are written in close POV’s, Feyre’s in first and Yrene’s and Chaol’s in third. The result is that whatever the narration says is coming from the character.

This is a long way to say that Yrene continues to be terrible."

May 30, 2020 – page 193 

 29.24% "I don’t have enough orange tabs for this"

May 30, 2020 – page 194 

 29.39% "Yrene says here “[until that moment] she hadn’t felt like a barnyard animal” and I am not an expert but that seems like a Bad Thing to have about one of the only black women you haven’t killed off, Book."

May 30, 2020 – page 195 

 29.55% "“Did I do something to you today?”

*squints*"

May 30, 2020 – page 196 

 29.7% "I’m not going to pretend that Nesryn’s reaction here is perfect, but the book is trying to pretend it’s terrible and it’s not? She’s excited that Chaol can ride, she talks to Chaol directly about it, and immediately accepts that he can and says excitedly that maybe they can go see her family together. The initial disbelief might be disconcerting for some people, but she does several things Yrene does not."

May 30, 2020 – page 196 

 29.7% "As I said, she speaks directly to Chaol about his abilities (something Yrene doesn’t do), asks if he wants to do something together (permission is something for OTHER PEOPLE to Yrene, apparently, at least in regards to revealing someone’s medical information and literally moving people without their permission) and is immediately EXCITED that he can do something Chaol has specifically said he missed."

May 30, 2020 – page 196 

 29.7% "For the record these are all low bars to clear, but for all the book tries to contrast Yrene and Nesryn’s reactions to Chaol’s disability and how he works with and around it in Yrene’s favor, NESRYN IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CLEARS THE BARS.

But I’m supposed to be upset that she’s surprised that Chaol rode when he hasn’t been able to lately? Through a city that he’s never been to before? Without telling her?"

May 30, 2020 – page 196 

 29.7% "Not only are these two the only members of an embassy, they are romantically involved. OF COURSE SHE’S SURPRISED ALL OF THIS HAPPENED WITHOUT HER KNOWING ABOUT IT."

May 30, 2020 – page 198 

 30.0% "At least she apologizes FINALLY but also says that it’s because so few people come in with his injury that she wanted to show her students.

So then you ASK, Yrene, what is this bullshit?"

May 30, 2020 – page 199 

 30.15% "“She hadn’t considered - his feelings. That he might have them.”

Excuse me, what?"

May 30, 2020 – page 199 

 30.15% "Yrene is worried that if she leaves the ‘rift’ between her and Chaol will never be repaired because “Healers and their patients required trust. A bond.”

It’s too bad you have repeatedly fucked that up with unprofessional, unthinking, and downright cruel behavior then isn’t it, Yrene?"

May 30, 2020 – page 199 

 30.15% "I’m sure some people reading this statuses will think I’m being too harsh, but let me explain: Yrene is a healer who has dealt with this kind of injury before. That’s why she was textually assigned to Chaol. Yrene is not a family member who knows nothing of medicine or patient treatment and is feeling her way through learning how to respectfully assist someone with a disability."

May 30, 2020 – page 199 

 30.15% "Yrene is a PROFESSIONAL, she keeps telling us. She is The Best. She has dealt with this before.

There is literally no excuse for accidentally doing this. Had Yrene been a new healer tossed into this because she just happens to have magical power enough for it and was still a student, I would buy that she maybe hadn’t had the experience to think about it. If she was portrayed as a consummate professional who..."

May 30, 2020 – page 199 

 30.15% "...did not care about her patients’ feelings so long as she healed their bodies, I would buy it.

She isn’t. The book keeps trying to tell me she is The Best because of temperament and skill and power, but it fails to realize that doing so puts Yrene in a terrible light because all of those things mean she should KNOW BETTER."

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

25th December >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Christmas Day - Vigil Mass,  Midnight Mass, Mass at Dawn & Mass during the Day.  

Vigil Mass

(Liturgical Colour: White)

(Readings for the Vigil Mass, celebrated during the afternoon or evening before Christmas Day)

First Reading

Isaiah 62:1-5

The bridegroom rejoices in his bride

About Zion I will not be silent, about Jerusalem I will not grow weary, until her integrity shines out like the dawn and her salvation flames like a torch.

The nations then will see your integrity, all the kings your glory, and you will be called by a new name, one which the mouth of the Lord will confer. You are to be a crown of splendour in the hand of the Lord, a princely diadem in the hand of your God;

no longer are you to be named ‘Forsaken’, nor your land ‘Abandoned’, but you shall be called ‘My Delight’ and your land ‘The Wedded’; for the Lord takes delight in you and your land will have its wedding.

Like a young man marrying a virgin, so will the one who built you wed you, and as the bridegroom rejoices in his bride, so will your God rejoice in you.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 88(89):4-5,16-17,27,29

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have made a covenant with my chosen one;    I have sworn to David my servant: I will establish your dynasty for ever    and set up your throne through all ages.’

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

Happy the people who acclaim such a king,    who walk, O Lord, in the light of your face, who find their joy every day in your name,    who make your justice the source of their bliss.

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘He will say to me: “You are my father,    my God, the rock who saves me.” I will keep my love for him always;    with him my covenant shall endure.’

R/ I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

Second Reading

Acts of the Apostles 13:16-17,22-25

Paul's witness to Christ, the son of David

When Paul reached Antioch in Pisidia, he stood up in the synagogue, held up a hand for silence and began to speak:    ‘Men of Israel, and fearers of God, listen! The God of our nation Israel chose our ancestors, and made our people great when they were living as foreigners in Egypt; then by divine power he led them out.    ‘Then he made David their king, of whom he approved in these words, “I have selected David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart, who will carry out my whole purpose.” To keep his promise, God has raised up for Israel one of David’s descendants, Jesus, as Saviour, whose coming was heralded by John when he proclaimed a baptism of repentance for the whole people of Israel. Before John ended his career he said, “I am not the one you imagine me to be; that one is coming after me and I am not fit to undo his sandal.”’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia, alleluia! Tomorrow there will be an end to the sin of the world and the saviour of the world will be our king. Alleluia!

Either: 

Gospel

Matthew 1:1-25

The ancestry and birth of Jesus Christ, the son of David

A genealogy of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:

Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah, Tamar being their mother, Perez was the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram, Ram was the father of Amminadab, Amminadab the father of Nahshon, Nahshon the father of Salmon, Salmon was the father of Boaz, Rahab being his mother, Boaz was the father of Obed, Ruth being his mother, Obed was the father of Jesse; and Jesse was the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife, Solomon was the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa, Asa was the father of Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, Joram the father of Azariah, Azariah was the father of Jotham, Jotham the father of Ahaz, Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh, Manasseh the father of Amon, Amon the father of Josiah; and Josiah was the father of Jechoniah and his brothers. Then the deportation to Babylon took place. After the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, Zerubbabel was the father of Abiud, Abiud the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor, Azor was the father of Zadok, Zadok the father of Achim, Achim the father of Eliud, Eliud was the father of Eleazar, Eleazar the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob; and Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary; of her was born Jesus who is called Christ.

The sum of generations is therefore: fourteen from Abraham to David; fourteen from David to the Babylonian deportation; and fourteen from the Babylonian deportation to Christ.    This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel,

a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’ When Joseph woke up he did what the angel of the Lord had told him to do: he took his wife to his home and, though he had not had intercourse with her, she gave birth to a son; and he named him Jesus.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Or

Gospel

Matthew 1:18-25

How Jesus Christ came to be born

This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel,

a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’ When Joseph woke up he did what the angel of the Lord had told him to do: he took his wife to his home and, though he had not had intercourse with her, she gave birth to a son; and he named him Jesus.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

---------------------------------------------

Midnight Mass

(Liturgical Colour: White)

(Readings for the Midnight Mass, celebrated during the night before Christmas Day)

First Reading

Isaiah 9:1-7

A Son is given to us

The people that walked in darkness has seen a great light; on those who live in a land of deep shadow a light has shone. You have made their gladness greater, you have made their joy increase; they rejoice in your presence as men rejoice at harvest time, as men are happy when they are dividing the spoils.

For the yoke that was weighing on him, the bar across his shoulders, the rod of his oppressor, these you break as on the day of Midian.

For all the footgear of battle, every cloak rolled in blood, is burnt, and consumed by fire.

For there is a child born for us, a son given to us and dominion is laid on his shoulders; and this is the name they give him: Wonder-Counsellor, Mighty-God, Eternal-Father, Prince-of-Peace. Wide is his dominion in a peace that has no end, for the throne of David and for his royal power, which he establishes and makes secure in justice and integrity. From this time onwards and for ever, the jealous love of the Lord of Hosts will do this.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 95(96):1-3,11-13

R/ Today a saviour has been born to us: he is Christ the Lord.

O sing a new song to the Lord,    sing to the Lord all the earth.    O sing to the Lord, bless his name.

R/ Today a saviour has been born to us: he is Christ the Lord.

Proclaim his help day by day,    tell among the nations his glory    and his wonders among all the peoples.

R/ Today a saviour has been born to us: he is Christ the Lord.

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad,    let the sea and all within it thunder praise, let the land and all it bears rejoice,    all the trees of the wood shout for joy at the presence of the Lord for he comes,    he comes to rule the earth.

R/ Today a saviour has been born to us: he is Christ the Lord.

With justice he will rule the world,    he will judge the peoples with his truth.

R/ Today a saviour has been born to us: he is Christ the Lord.

Second Reading

Titus 2:11-14

God's grace has been revealed to the whole human race

God’s grace has been revealed, and it has made salvation possible for the whole human race and taught us that what we have to do is to give up everything that does not lead to God, and all our worldly ambitions; we must be self-restrained and live good and religious lives here in this present world, while we are waiting in hope for the blessing which will come with the Appearing of the glory of our great God and saviour Christ Jesus. He sacrificed himself for us in order to set us free from all wickedness and to purify a people so that it could be his very own and would have no ambition except to do good.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation

Luke 2:10-11

Alleluia, alleluia! I bring you news of great joy: today a saviour has been born to us, Christ the Lord. Alleluia!

Gospel

Luke 2:1-14

'In the town of David a saviour has been born to you'

Caesar Augustus issued a decree for a census of the whole world to be taken. This census – the first – took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria, and everyone went to his own town to be registered. So Joseph set out from the town of Nazareth in Galilee and travelled up to Judaea, to the town of David called Bethlehem, since he was of David’s House and line, in order to be registered together with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her first born. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them at the inn.    In the countryside close by there were shepherds who lived in the fields and took it in turns to watch their flocks during the night. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone round them. They were terrified, but the angel said, ‘Do not be afraid. Listen, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today in the town of David a saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. And here is a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly with the angel there was a great throng of the heavenly host, praising God and singing:

‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace to men who enjoy his favour.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Mass at Dawn 

(Liturgical Colour: White)

(Readings for the Dawn Mass, celebrated at dawn on Christmas Day)

First Reading

Isaiah 62:11-12

Look, your saviour comes

This the Lord proclaims to the ends of the earth:

Say to the daughter of Zion, ‘Look, your saviour comes, the prize of his victory with him, his trophies before him.’ They shall be called ‘The Holy People’, ‘The Lord’s Redeemed.’ And you shall be called ‘The-sought-after���, ‘City-not-forsaken.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 96(97):1,6,11-12

R/ This day new light will shine upon the earth: the Lord is born for us.

The Lord is king, let earth rejoice,    let all the coastlands be glad. The skies proclaim his justice;    all peoples see his glory.

R/ This day new light will shine upon the earth: the Lord is born for us.

Light shines forth for the just    and joy for the upright of heart. Rejoice, you just, in the Lord;    give glory to his holy name.

R/ This day new light will shine upon the earth: the Lord is born for us.

Second Reading

Titus 3:4-7

It was no reason except his own compassion that he saved us

When the kindness and love of God our saviour for mankind were revealed, it was not because he was concerned with any righteous actions we might have done ourselves; it was for no reason except his own compassion that he saved us, by means of the cleansing water of rebirth and by renewing us with the Holy Spirit which he has so generously poured over us through Jesus Christ our saviour. He did this so that we should be justified by his grace, to become heirs looking forward to inheriting eternal life.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation

Luke 2:14

Alleluia, alleluia! Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace to men who enjoy his favour. Alleluia!

Gospel

Luke 2:15-20

The shepherds hurried to Bethlehem and found the baby lying in the manger

Now when the angels had gone from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let us go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.’ So they hurried away and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen; it was exactly as they had been told.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Mass during the Day

(Liturgical Colour: White)

(Readings for the daytime Mass on Christmas Day)

First Reading

Isaiah 52:7-10

Rejoice, for the Lord is consoling his people

How beautiful on the mountains, are the feet of one who brings good news, who heralds peace, brings happiness, proclaims salvation, and tells Zion, ‘Your God is king!’

Listen! Your watchmen raise their voices, they shout for joy together, for they see the Lord face to face, as he returns to Zion.

Break into shouts of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem; for the Lord is consoling his people, redeeming Jerusalem.

The Lord bares his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 97(98):1-6

R/ All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

Sing a new song to the Lord    for he has worked wonders. His right hand and his holy arm    have brought salvation.

R/ All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

The Lord has made known his salvation;    has shown his justice to the nations. He has remembered his truth and love    for the house of Israel.

R/ All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

All the ends of the earth have seen    the salvation of our God. Shout to the Lord, all the earth,    ring out your joy.

R/ All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

Sing psalms to the Lord with the harp    with the sound of music. With trumpets and the sound of the horn    acclaim the King, the Lord.

R/ All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

Second Reading

Hebrews 1:1-6

God has spoken to us through his Son

At various times in the past and in various different ways, God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets; but in our own time, the last days, he has spoken to us through his Son, the Son that he has appointed to inherit everything and through whom he made everything there is. He is the radiant light of God’s glory and the perfect copy of his nature, sustaining the universe by his powerful command; and now that he has destroyed the defilement of sin, he has gone to take his place in heaven at the right hand of divine Majesty. So he is now as far above the angels as the title which he has inherited is higher than their own name.    God has never said to any angel: You are my Son, today I have become your father; or: I will be a father to him and he a son to me. Again, when he brings the First-Born into the world, he says: Let all the angels of God worship him.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia, alleluia!

A hallowed day has dawned upon us. Come, you nations, worship the Lord, for today a great light has shone down upon the earth. Alleluia!

Either

Gospel

John 1:1-18

The Word was made flesh, and lived among us

In the beginning was the Word: and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things came to be, not one thing had its being but through him. All that came to be had life in him and that life was the light of men, a light that shines in the dark, a light that darkness could not overpower.

A man came, sent by God. His name was John. He came as a witness, as a witness to speak for the light, so that everyone might believe through him. He was not the light, only a witness to speak for the light.

The Word was the true light that enlightens all men; and he was coming into the world. He was in the world that had its being through him, and the world did not know him. He came to his own domain and his own people did not accept him. But to all who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to all who believe in the name of him who was born not out of human stock or urge of the flesh or will of man but of God himself.

The Word was made flesh, he lived among us, and we saw his glory, the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.

John appears as his witness. He proclaims: ‘This is the one of whom I said: He who comes after me ranks before me because he existed before me.’

Indeed, from his fullness we have, all of us, received – yes, grace in return for grace, since, though the Law was given through Moses, grace and truth have come through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; it is the only Son, who is nearest to the Father’s heart, who has made him known.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Or

Gospel

John 1:1-5,9-14

The Word was made flesh, and lived among us

In the beginning was the Word: and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things came to be, not one thing had its being but through him. All that came to be had life in him and that life was the light of men, a light that shines in the dark, a light that darkness could not overpower.

The Word was the true light that enlightens all men; and he was coming into the world. He was in the world that had its being through him, and the world did not know him. He came to his own domain and his own people did not accept him. But to all who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to all who believe in the name of him who was born not out of human stock or urge of the flesh or will of man but of God himself.

The Word was made flesh, he lived among us, and we saw his glory, the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[papermoonloveslucy]

THE HEALTH FARM

May 7, 1950

"The Health Farm” is episode #87 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on May 7, 1950.

Synopsis ~  Liz and Iris are fed up with their husbands taking them for granted, so they check in to a fat farm. 

This episode features elements that later went into the “I Love Lucy” episodes “The Diet” (ILL S1;E3 ~ October 29, 1951) and “The Charm School” (ILL S3;E15 ~ January 25, 1954).  Lucy Carmichael and the Countess Frambois went to a fat farm run by Mr. Mooney in “Lucy and the Countess Lose Weight” (TLS S3;E21) on  February 15, 1965.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) does not appear in this episode. 

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Elvia Allman (Mrs. Fataway) was born on September 19, 1904 in Enochville, North Carolina. She started her performing career on radio in the 1920s, as both a storyteller and singer. This led to work voicing cartoon characters for Warner Brothers. Simultaneously, she was pursuing stage acting, appearing at the Pasadena Playhouse. Allman made her film debut as an actress in 1940’s The Road to Singapore as a homely woman who pursues Bob Hope. Allman played the strident forewoman of Kramer’s Kandy Kitchen in “Job Switching” (ILL S2;E1).  She would return to the show as one of Minnie Finch’s neighbors in “Fan Magazine” (ILL S3;E17) and as reporter Nancy Graham in “The Homecoming” (ILL S5;E6). She made two appearances each on The Lucy–Desi Comedy Hour“ and ”The Lucy Show.“

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers today, we find George in his office at the bank. Suddenly, the door bursts open and in strides Mr. Atterbury, his boss.”

Mr. Atterbury is upset that somehow Liz’s girdle got entered on his balance sheet. George is worried about Liz.  She has been buying lots of new clothes lately.  Mr. Atterbury tells him the trick of combating new clothing bought by wives.  When they try it on and ask “How do you like my new dress?” you say “What new dress?”  They immediately return it as looking just like her old one!  

Liz and Iris are out shopping.  Liz shockingly says she’s not going to buy anything today.  She is doing it because of George’s concern about her budget.  

They see a sign: GET YOUR SPRING TUNE-UP!  WE CAN MAKE A 1950 MODEL OUT OF AN OLD WRECK! SPEND 11 GLORIOUS DAYS AT FATAWAY FARM

Liz sees some ‘dirty words’ that tempt her: “Gigantic Clearance Sale!”  Liz attempts to turn her back away from temptation, but when somebody is looking at the same dress she likes - she give in to temptation. 

Liz and Iris arrive home with their shopping.  They go to the bedroom to put Liz’s new things away: a dress, a bag, and shoes.  She now has to think about what lie to tell George before the bill arrives in a month. Iris tells her that George won’t notice if she wears the dress because husbands only notice OTHER women!  

IRIS: “Every time I get a new dress I show it to Rudolph and he says ‘What new dress?’ and as long as he doesn’t know it’s new, I keep it!” 

Iris dares her to put the new dress on and see if George notices.  George comes home and Liz takes the dare.  Liz parades in front of George in the new dress.  Just as Iris said, George doesn’t notice anything.  She finally breaks down and asks him about her new dress.

GEORGE: “What new dress? I’ve seen it a hundred times!”

Liz is indignant that George takes her for granted and bursts into tears.

ANNOUNCER: “As we return to the Coopers, we find Liz and Iris Atterbury down at the corner drugstore. Iris is trying to console Liz, who believes George takes her for granted.”

LIZ: “What are you supposed to do when you think that you’re the apple of your husband’s eye and find out you’re the core?”   IRIS: “You’re not alone, Liz! The world is full of single apples and married cores. It’s part of living.” 

Iris tells Liz that she’s expecting her husband to act like a fiancé!  Liz realizes she’s let herself go.  She’s taken herself for granted.  They remember the ad in the beauty shop and decide to go for the free tune-up - if not the whole overhaul!   They decide to tell their husband’s that they are staying at Marge Van Tassel’s country place. 

At Fataway Farms, they arrive at the office.  Mrs. Fataway (Elvia Allman) greets them, and outlines their plan.  They get scared of their fierce founder, but they are locked in!  

Mrs. Fataway leads Iris and Liz in exercises, which they struggle with mightily. Next Liz and Iris try out the steam cabinets. 

LIZ: “If they don’t come soon, they’ll have to pick me up with a blotter.”  

Liz is a limp rag when Mrs. Fataway finally opens the cabinets. She announces a two-mile hike!

LIZ: “Keen dipped in pickle juice.”

On their hike they finally reach their destination.  They have the option to ride back or march back. Liz is to weak to even express an opinion, and ends up walking back.  

After 11 days, Liz and Iris arrive home, feeling rejuvenated and revitalized!  Their husbands greet them with affection.  

George notices that Liz looks thin and calls her a plucked chicken.  Liz breaks down in tears. 

GEORGE: “I didn’t want you beautiful. I want you just the way you were.”

Liz is relieved and starts to gorge herself with food!  Iris is just about to join in, when Rudolph stops her!  

MR. ATTERBURY: “I like you just as you are now!” 

End of Episode

In the live Jell-O commercial tag, Lucille plays a siren from ancient mythology and Bob LeMond a sailor being lured toward the rocks. 

Lucille’s first line as a siren is to imitate a police siren.  She then lapses into a chirpy, pinched nosed voice.  

LUCILLE / SIREN: “Oh, sailor!  Oh, sailor boy!  I have Jell-O tapioca pudding!”  

He asks her if she has Jell-O orange coconut tapioca. 

LUCILLE / SIREN: “A wonderful blend of refreshing orange and tropical coconuts?” BOB / SAILOR: “Yes!  Do you?” LUCILLE / SIREN: “No.  I just wanted to see what happened.”

The siren lures him to the rocks. The sound effects end with a motorboat crashing with a big boom!

ANNOUNCER: “Watch for Lucille Ball in today’s issue of Parade.”

[dailyaudiobible]

04/22/2021 DAB Transcript

Joshua 24:1-33, Luke 21:1-28, Psalms 89:38-52, Proverbs 13:20-23

Today is the 22nd day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's always great to be here with you. Always great to see everybody coming in around the Global Campfire just settling in as we take our next step forward. We have been reading in the Old Testament from the book of Joshua for a little bit. Today we will conclude the book of Joshua and move into some brand-new territory tomorrow as we begin the book of Judges but let's finish the book of Joshua strong. We’re reading from the New Living translation this week. Joshua chapter 24.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the gospel of Luke today we saw this very very brief story just a very very brief couple lines. Jesus is in the temple complex and this is all before His disciples are admiring the temple and all the buildings of downtown Jerusalem. And this is where Jesus is like, “this is all coming down. Like, there won’t be any stone left unturned. The whole thing is coming down.” And of course, this is referring to what will happen in the future within the next 50 years. Jerusalem will be destroyed by the Romans. We’ve talked about this. They were looking for a Messiah. Jesus came. They got rid of Him and then they decide to take matters into their own hands later and rose up and revolted against Rome and were…were crushed in that process. So, we’ve talked about that. But just before all of that Jesus is in the temple, and there's this…well…there’s a collection box. So, the offering is being given and they’re just watching people put money into the collection box to care for the temple. And it's here that we learn something really interesting about the way God looks at things because they're watching people give plenty of money and then they watch a poor widow give 2 minas…2 small…like pennies…2 small kinda…kinda coins, the smallest amount of currency. Jesus comments on that, that the poor woman who put the two tiny little coins, like really hardly any money at all, that…that she had given more than everybody else because everyone else had given out of their surplus. They still had plenty in their own control, but she had given all that she had to God. In other words, she put all of her trust about her existence in the future, including the next day in God's hands. And, so, as Jesus comments on this this tells us how God is looking at things. It's not like, “o, you can stroke the million-dollar check because you're so wealthy and God's so impressed with that that somehow you’ve gotta have high honor when stroking that million-dollar check is way more than almost any of us could do. If that's your surplus, if you worth a hundred million dollars and you give a million dollars, certainly that's more than almost anybody else could give but the person who gives two cents and that's all that they have and they are completely and utterly dependent upon God from that point forward. God sees that.” So, it's not about how much you can accumulate it’s about how much you're willing to trust God with what you have. And that brings out quite a bit of clarity when Jesus is like, “it's very difficult for rich person enter the kingdom of heaven”, right? Because a rich person has a lot under their control, and they feel a lot of control about what they have. So, if they give a bunch of money that's a bunch of money, that's great and it's a blessing to the kingdom and everything but they still have a surplus that's way way way more…like everything is…nothing has changed. Like they’re still in control, when entering into the kingdom is the profound awareness of complete and utter surrender, and dependence on God for the next breath and everything else. And, so, that's definitely some things to think about from the gospel of Luke today.

Then in the book of Joshua, we concluded the book of Joshua today. And, so, we will be turning into the book of Judges tomorrow and that is sort of the story that comes next and it's a very very different story than the one we've been reading. So. we’ll get to that tomorrow. But we remember when we said goodbye to Moses, and we took a minute just to honor that. Like we traveled a long way with Moses, went through a lot of stuff and bore witness to the wandering in the wilderness and the message of the wilderness and just the story of the wilderness. And then Joshua led the people across into the promised land and settled the promised land and now we’re saying goodbye to Joshua. He was 110 years old and Joshua did similar things to what his mentor Moses had done. He gathered all the people together to…to essentially give them a final charge. He reminded them of where they came from and how they had gotten to where they are and who God was and then he said something that is very very famous, “as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” And that was sort of the…the apex of what he was trying to say, the pinnacle of what he was trying to stress to the people, and they responded in kind, that they would serve the Lord as well, that they would remain in the covenant that the Lord had made with them and that they would honor and serve God. Then Joshua said something just profound, profound enough that it echoes all the way into our laps. “You are a witness to your own decision. You have chosen to serve the Lord.” And the people responded, “we are witnesses to what we have said.” Can we just make that immediate? We are witnesses to our own decision. We have chosen to serve the Lord. Our lives are the witness to whether or not we are honoring that covenant. That right there cuts to the chase. Like it…it…it cuts to the bone, like gets to the bedrock after the same fashion that…that Jesus would speak and answer questions with questions and speak into situations that are the bedrock of what's really going on. If we, if our lives, if the weight of our lives in this world, the influence, the impact of our lives in this world does not serve as a witness to our decision than all we have is words. And we have learned from the Scriptures plenty, but we also already know this, talk is cheap. It can say anything. But how you live, that's what you believe. And, so, Joshua is bringing that front and center to the children of Israel who are now settled in the promised land, a story that we have been chasing since the book of Genesis basically this whole year. Now they are settled in the promised land and their leader Joshua is bringing things front and center. This is what he wants to stress before he becomes history. It's that important. And, so, let's take it from Joshua, let's take it from the Scriptures as that important. You are a witness to your own decision. You have chosen to serve the Lord.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit come into that declaration. This has been our declaration all along but maybe we’ve never thought that our lives are a witness for or against us, that our lives are a witness for or against You, that often what we say and how we actually live are different. And that should not be. And, so, as we leave the book of Joshua and begin to turn the page into the story that comes next, we will certainly learn plenty. But we’re right here right now being a witness to our own decision. And may we hold it with the gravity and the honor that it deserves. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi fellow DABbers this is Rosanna and I'm from Johnson City TN and this is April 15th, and I just heard the prayer request from Alec and Tyrone. Alec has a wife named Jesse who has terminal cancer and she's out of treatment options and Tyrone has a wife who is an unbeliever. And, so, I just want to pray for both of these gentlemen. Dear heavenly Father we come to You and we petition to You on behalf of Alec. Lord Jesus You are the giver of good gifts and You bring healing to our bodies. You still do that today and I pray that You would be with Jesse. I pray that You would supernaturally touch her body and I pray that this cancer would fall away from her body in the name of Jesus. I pray that You would bring a full healing, a supernatural healing that brings glory to Your name. I pray for Tyrone. I pray for his wife. I pray that You can open her eyes, open her heart, open her ears so that she can see Your great love for her, and she can see the fact that You are still pursuing her. And I pray that she would strengthen their marriage and that You would just overcome her with Your love and help her to see You. And God, I thank You for the Daily Audio Bible. I thank You for the fact that it helps so many people to know about You and Your…and Your word and Your love for us. And I also pray for my own mother who has terminal cancer and she's in the exact same position as Jesse. I pray that You would supernaturally heal her and touch her body and bring a complete healing. We love You Jesus. We know You're in control.

It's April 16th Friday my name is Ted from California. All week since the weekend I've been going through a lot of anxiety spiritual battles depression. Something triggered it. I'm not sure. I'm hurting right now, and I just need a lot of prayer and I'm trusting in God to pull me out of this and to make it better and I just want to tell pastor Brian that without this this app and everyone else in the DAB community I would be lost for sure. And, so, I just ask for your prayers and your support. I love you and I thank you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good afternoon today is Friday April 16th, 2021 my name is Shondra Brooks and I'm calling from Maryland and I wanted to leave a two-part message. The first being a song, a simple song that's always in my heart and just as a reminder for everyone who hears this call and sings. And the song is somebody's prayed for me, you put them on my mind, you held…I'm sorry…you put me on their mind, they took the time and prayed for me. I'm so glad they prayed. I'm so glad they prayed. I'm so glad they prayed for me. As simple as it is it means so much and it's a major representation of Daily Audio Bible and I'm grateful for Brian and Jill and everyone who even works in the background because truly just the opening message when I first started listening in 2014, I just felt like crying because I was like wow, you know, someone will be able to hear me, and they'll be able to…and pray with me and for me. And it is appreciated. I also wanted to say I am so grateful and thankful for this. I haven't even gotten to the 1st of April as far as the podcast, but God is so faithful and so awesome that the parts that I hear, they directly coincide with where I am and my life and what I need to hear to encourage myself. And in saying all that just to keep it short and sweet, I love you guys. I'm constantly praying for those whose prayers come through and everyone just continue to be faithful even if you feel…feel…feel…feel fearful to call in. God knows your heart. He knows what you stand in need of even…

Good morning family I’m Honeybee from Louisiana. I called in in August expressing my frustration over 20 years of eye surgeries, over 20 eye surgeries but now I'm in a very desperate place for a miracle. I had a macular hole appear the left eye in August and in February there was bleeding in my eye, in the right eye, and the doctor went in and he said there were two blood tumors, and he couldn't remove them. He did laser them and remove the blood and put it a gas bubble, all that fun stuff, but it's been two months and he said the eyes full of blood, the pressure is so low that the muscles are starting to lose their shape and what happens is the I caves in and this is the first time in 20 years I said I don't want to have a surgery. I just want to keep my eye. I've lost my sight in my right eye. I can't see it all for the last two months, but he said you will lose your eye if we do not do this surgery. And then he said if we do it you still might lose the eye. So, please pray for me. I need…I'm discouraged, and I need a miracle. I need God to remove these tumors and restore the pressure and restore the site and I appreciate your prayers. Thank you, my family. I love you.

This is Steve from Branson Mo and I just want to lift up two fellow DABbers in prayer. The first one called in a few weeks ago and I've been praying for you daily since. Your name is Jermaine and you're in upstate New York and you're incarcerated. And I just want to let you know that I've been there. I understand what you're going through. I'm thinking of you and I'm praying for you. And the second one is a man who didn't…didn't give a name. He just called in and said that he was not worth anything to anyone and I am praying for you too. I've had those feelings and continue to have those feelings. And Father I lift up these two gentlemen to You in the name of Jesus. Touch their lives. Heal them emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. Father, touch their lives and make them whole. Give them self-worth in the name of Jesus. Amen.

[bobasheebaby]

100 Boy Meets World Prompts

Cory

1 “And I just want to ask one thing: What's this?” “No, NAME, we were just --“ “Undapants!”

2 “They want you to take the rolls!”

3 “Please pay at the register, honey. And tipping is not a city in China.”

4 “NAME, you're trying to seduce me.”

5 “No, I don't get hit by a bus.” “Why not?” “Because I use the crosswalks, I memorize the bus schedules, and if I've got a husband/wife like NAME, I ain't leavin' the house.”

6 “NAME, just face it, you're afraid to make a commitment.” “I'm not afraid to make a commit -- I've been with NAME for fifteen years!” “Ah, they've been good years.”

7 “Wait, is this you or NAME talking?” “He/She decided we're one person.”

8 “This is raw, hot, unfiltered passion, and that kiss opened the gates.” “There are no gates.” “Oh, there's gates.”

9 “You were one of those kids that enjoy getting spanked, weren't you?” “I always deserved it.”

10 “But I've never failed before.” “There's a first time for everything.” “That argument doesn't get you anywhere with him/her.”

11 “You're not my father/mother, NAME.” “If I were your father/mother, I'd spank you, NAME. Because that's what you deserve. A big spanking! Now take down your pants.

12 “How could you possibly get into this much trouble in one day?” “It didn't take me the whole day.”

13 “It's us against him/her. Living on the edge, babe.” “I like when you call me babe.”

14 “Maybe I'm dreaming. Pinch me! ... Not on the butt.” “Sorry, it was just right there.”

15 “Gee, NAME, I'm looking around the room trying to see if anyone asked your opinion. I don't see anyone. Is anyone? No?”

16 “Did you hear how I referred to myself in the third person for emphasis?” “I thought that was a nice touch.” “NAME did too.”

17 “Finally someone understands my particular genuis.”

18 “First of all, there is a Whipped Magazine. I didn't subscribe; somehow they found me.”

19 “You know, you're a very sexy boy/girl, NAME.” “Really? I'm a sexy boy/girl. Thanks. I can't wait to tell NAME.”

20 “I'm in! Those idiots let me in.”

21 “Well I am shocked and dismayed.” “Well now you can't be both. You be shocked, I'll be dismayed.”

22 “Wear something of mine. What do you want, a jacket or a hat?” “A jacket. I'm very prone to hat head. Sometimes I get it without even wearing a hat.”

23 “So how was your weekend?” “Ah, one of the all time greats. I slept in, I watched TV, I played video games. And Sunday I took it easy.”

24 “I'm supposed to see other people. You're supposed to wait until I die.”

25 “This is so great. I wish NAME was here.”

Shawn

26 “Use a mirror, babe.”

27 “You know, NAME, NAME said something interesting before that got me thinking.” “Wait a minute. NAME got you thinking?” “He/She seemed well rested.”

28 “You listened to NAME.” “Oh my God, I listened to NAME.”

29 “I mean, NAME, you're much cooler than I am. At least I thought you were.” “Trust me, I am.”

30 “Hey, if I had things my way, NAME would walk in the day after the honeymoon and have the whole thing annulled.”

31 “You know, I'd give up on them but I don't think they'd notice.” “What?”

32 “He’s/She's your ex. Let me spell that for you, X.”

33 “Please get out and don't ever come back.”

34 “Yeah, so it's like you're a couple and we're a couple, and we're exactly the same except that --“ “You're married and we're happy.”

35 “Well what kind of stupid thing was it for you to care whether I put you back together again? What are you, Humpty Dumpty?”

36 “I hate myself.” “You're not alone.”

37 “NAME, his/her lover.” “Oh, very tasteful honey. Did you hear that, NAME?” “NAME, his/her lover.” “Oh, shut up Yoko.”

38 “You're a disgrace to the entire back row.”

39 “You don't think I'm a geek?” “Of course not.” “You think I'm cool?” “Of course not.”

40 “You're thinking too much. Do what I do, don't think.”

41 “You sure that's three cheeses? Because I only see two. Where's the Gouda, pal?”

42 “Don't move. Maybe he/she doesn't see us.

43 “Oh, man, I gotta do something now. Think.” “You gotta think, NAME.” “Ow.” “Thinking cramp?” “Yeah.” “I get those, too.”

44 “Look, NAME, I've been doing some thinking. Ow!”

45 “We have to come up with a plan.” “You know that's so crazy it just may work.” “What may work?” “The plan.” “I didn't tell you what it was.” “That way they can't get it out of me.” “Get what out of you?” “Nice try.”

Topanga

46 “We've waited for this moment all our lives. What are you thinking?” “I can't believe NAME’s not here.” “I love you too.”

47 “NAME!” “Oh, no.” “Oh, don't you run away from me, you old goat.”

48 “NAME. My dear little butt-head. May I call you butt-head?” “Sure.”

49 “I don't want to offend any one and my family's feelings are the most important thing to me. But if she thought I was getting married in that freaking monstrosity, she must have been hitting the sauce.”

50 “Have you looked at him/her?” “Okay, so he’s/she's pretty, he’s/she's tall, he/she drives a new red convertible. Oh heck, I'd go out with him/her.”

51 “NAME, you transparent moron. If you sigh one more time, I'm going to give you something to sigh about.”

52 “You know I could take you.” “You don't want to dance with me, boy/girl.” “You don't see me running, do you?” “Bring it on, NAME.” “It's on.”

53 “That's it. That's it, I've had it! I don't want to put the Sweet & Lo in my purse.”

Eric

54 “Hey, little bro/sis. Life's tough, get a helmet.”

55 “So I said to myself, NOT THEIR NAME --“ “NOT THEIR NAME?” “That's what I call myself.”

56 “I'll do it. I'm the oldest.” “Actually, I'm the oldest.” “Yeah, but I've lived the longest.”

57 “I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I know I'm gonna be a good person who cares about people. And I blame you for that.”

58 “I sort of thought you guys would keep my room the way it is.” “Actually, NICKNAME, for that I think you have to be unexpectedly killed by a truck or something.”

59 “What are you going to do when your hair grows back?” “It's not going to grow back. I got my receipt!”

60 “I'm dead.” “I'm dead.” “I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying.”

61 “NAME, one word: You're with me.”

62 “NAME, I think he’s/she's a witch. And not a good witch like Glinda, a bad witch like with the monkeys.”

63 “NAME, what are you doing to me? We had a deal. You and FRIEND are so perfect for each other you should be married!” “I'm not ready.”

64 “Oh, look at that. You wobble like a weeble!”

65 “Don't you see what you're going through? This is your middle east crisis.” “Middle age crisis.”

66 “Of all the nights to fight, I mean Halloween, this is the one holiday that's supposed to bring loved ones together.”

67 “How can I let it go when it haunts my very thought?”

68 “By the way, that last paper you wrote, I couldn't stop thinking about it.” “That's because it was smut! ‘My lips quivered.’ -- it was filth. It was screamy filth.”

69 “You can't do that, NAME.” “Why are you calling me NAME?” “Because that's your human name.”

70 “Stay out of this, NAME, it's a one man/woman mission. ... Will you help me?”

Mr. Feeny

71 “Don't you mean ‘do well’?” “No, I mean do good.”

72 “You are the worst babysitter that ever lived.” “And your children are the spawn of Satan.”

73 “I was expecting you. Today, tomorrow, yesterday. It was only a matter of time.”

74 “How are we supposed to get home?” “Wait 'til it's dark. Then run, very quickly.”

75 “You're still moving away? Ah, for the love of Mike, stop with the mind games, man.” “You know this is the reason I can't sell my house.”

76 “I know my man/woman.” “It's like we have one brain.” “Yes, well. That's too easy.”

77 “Ho, ho. Is that the stupid idea train coming 'round the bend?”

78 “Oh, I think you're much more stupid than you give yourselves credit for.”

79 “Well, since you're not set on a name for the baby, I, myself, have always been partial to THEIR NAME.”

80 “I'm not responsible for Dream THEIR NAME!”

81 “For years I've seen you give advice to everybody, but never me. Why is that?!” “You don't ask.”

82 “The guy on our couch eating our beer nuts.” “Mmm, nutty.”

83 “Wait a minute. Maybe we should all just think for a second.” “No, NAME and I tried that. It doesn't work.”

Jack

84 “You don't know what it's like to live here, man. You don't.” “Why do you stay?” “Because ... he’s/she's my friend. Because I like him/her. And no matter what crazy things he/she says or does, I still like him/her. God help me I still like him/her.”

85 “You know, NAME, I'm having trouble opening this jar.” “That's because it's a can.”

86 “I can't be poor. I'm too good looking to be poor.”

87 “I would never pay for that shirt.”

88 “He's/She’s too passive. He/She needs to voice his/her opinions more.” “Ooh, NAME, what do you think about that?” “I don't know.”

Angela

89 “You guys are our closest friends, but we are sick and tired of you!”

90 “Because I'd rather give him/her attention for acting normal.” “Oh, honey. We know that's never going to happen.”

91 “Let me ask you this, in all the time you were with NAME, did he ever call out the name S/O NAME?” “No, but he called out the name PERSON ANAME.” “In what context?”

92 “No, I was just a little surprised seeing you here, eating my food, which is mine.” — Rachel

Alan

93 “It's quarter after three. Only creeps and wierdos are up now.” [person c enters]

94 “Anything happens to NAME, I'll kill you.” “You like him/her better than me.” [person a nods]

95 “I have an incomplete future.” “Of course you have an incomplete future. The future's always incomplete. When it's complete, people tend to call it the past.”

96 “You chose FRIEND over your own flesh and blood? You're dead to me.”

Amy

97 “I don't like it when you call him/her an idiot, NAME.” “I didn't call him/her anything.” “Oh, well I guess I must have thought it in my head.”

98 “NAME, we used you as a decoy. We knew you'd be stupid so we used it against you.”

99 “What happened? I used to be good.” “NAME, I say this with love and respect. You were never good.”

100 “We're just asking you to get us off the hook.” “No. This is your hook, you're going to hang there like the worms you are.”

[way-down-meme-town]

Hadestown Act I Sentence Meme

Under the cut you will find 212 lyrics from the first act of the musical Hadestown to use for your enjoyment!

Road To Hell 1. “Once upon a time there was a railroad line.”

2. “Don’t ask where, brother, don’t ask when.”

3. “It was the road to Hell. It was hard times.”

4. “It was a world of gods and men.”

5. “It’s an old song. It’s an old tale from way back when.”

6. “It’s an old song and we’re gonna sing it again.”

7. “We got some gods in the house tonight!”

8. “See, on the road to Hell there was a railroad line.”

9. “They was always singin’ in the back of your mind.”

10. “Everybody, meet the Fates.”

11. “If you ride that train to the end of the line where the sun don’t shine and it’s always shady, it’s there you’ll find the king of the mine.”

12. “Someone’s got to tell the tale whether or not it turns out well.”

13. “Not everyone gets to be a god.”

14. “Don’t forget that times are hard.”

15. “This boy was a muse’s son.”

16. “You might say the boy was touched, ‘cause he was touched by the gods themselves.”

17. “There was one more soul on this road.”

18. “Girl, come on in from the cold.”

19. “Thus begins the tale of Orpheus and Eurdyice.”

20. “It’s a tale of love from long ago.”

  Any Way The Wind Blows 21. “She was no stranger to the world, no stranger to the wind.”

22. “The weather ain’t the way it was before. Ain’t no spring or fall anymore.”

23. “There ain’t a thing that you can do when the weather takes a turn on you, ‘cept for hurry up and hit the road.”

24. “People turn on you just like the wind.”

25. “Everybody is a fair weather friend. In the end, you’re better off alone.”

26. “When you’re hungry and there ain’t enough to go around, ain’t no length to which a girl won’t go.”

27. “Sometimes you think you would do anything to fill your belly full of food.”

28. “You know how those muses are, sometimes they abandon you.”

29. “This poor boy, he wore his heart out on his sleeve.”

30. “You might say he was naive to the ways of the world.”

31. “I liked to hear him sing and his way of seeing things, so I took him underneath my wing.”

  Come Home With Me 32. “You wanna talk to her?”

33. “Don’t come on too strong.”

34. “Come home with me.”

35. “Is he always like this?”

36. “Your name is like a melody.”

37. “A singer? Is that what you are?”

38. “Oh, a liar and a player too? I’ve met too many men like you.”

39. “He’s not like any man you’ve met.”

40. “I’m working on a song, a song. It isn’t finished yet, but when it’s done and when I sing it, spring will come again.”

41. “Spring will come.”

42. “I haven’t seen a spring or fall since…I can’t recall.”

43. “That’s what I’m working on, a song to fix what’s wrong. Take what’s broken, make it whole.”

44. “Oh, he’s crazy. Why would I become his wife?”

45. “He’ll make you feel alive.”

  Wedding Song 46. “Lover, tell me if you can, who’s gonna buy the wedding bands?”

47. “Times being what they are, hard and getting harder all the time.”

48. “Lover, when I sing my song, all the rivers’ll sing along.”

49. “The rivers gonna give us the wedding bands.”

50. “Lover, tell me if you can, who’s gonna lay the wedding table?”

51. “Times being what they are, dark and getting darker all the time.”

52. “Lover, when I sing my song all the trees gonna sing along.”

53. “The trees gonna lay the wedding table.”

54. “So when you sing your song, the one you’re working on, spring will come again?”

55. “You wanna take me home? Sing the song.”

56. “Lover, tell me when we’re wed, who’s gonna make the wedding bed?”

57. “Lover, when I sing my song, all the birds gonna sing along.”

  Epic I 58. “Where’d you get that melody?”

59. “It came to me as if I’d known it all along.”

60. “It’s an old song, a song of love from long ago. Long time since I heard it though.”

61. “You’ve heard that melody before?”

62. “Remember the tale I told you once about the gods?”

63. “Remember how it used to be? Their love made the world go round.”

64. “Hades was king of the underworld, but he fell in love with a beautiful lady who walked up above in her mothers green field.”

65. “He took her home to become his queen where the sun never shone on anyone.”

66. “The Gods sang his song of love and the world sang it with them.”

67. “That was long ago, before we were on this road.”

  Livin It Up On Top 68. “On the road to hell there was a lot of waiting.”

69. “These days she never stays for long, but good things come to those who wait.”

70. “Well it’s like he said, I’m an outdoor girl.”

71. “She forgot a little thing called spring.”

72. “Are you wondering where I’ve been?”

73. “Been to hell and back again.”

74. “Like my mama always said: when you’re down, you’re down and when you’re up, you’re up.”

75. “If you ain’t six feet underground, you’re living it up on top.”

76. “Let’s not talk about hard times. Pour the wine, it’s summertime!”

77. “Who makes the summer sun shine bright?”

78. “Who makes the fruit of the vine get ripe?”

79. “Who makes the flowers bloom again, in spite of a man?”

80. “Let me tell you something that my mama said to me: you take what you can get and you make the most of it.”

81. “It was summertime on the road to hell.”

82. “You might say it was in spite of herself.”

83. “For a moment there, the world came back to life.”

84. “Let the poet bless this round.”

85. “To the patroness of all of this, Persephone, who has finally returned to us with wine enough to share.”

86. “If no one takes too much, there will always be enough.”

87. “She will always fill our cups and we will always raise them up to the world we dream about, and the one we live in now.”

88. “Livin’ it up and we ain’t gonna stop.”

  All I’ve Ever Known (Intro) 89. “He had a gift to give. He could make you see how the world could be in spite of the way that it is.”

90. “She’d seen how the world was. When she fell, she fell in spite of herself.”

  All I’ve Ever Known 91. “I was alone so long I didn’t even know that I was lonely.”

92. “Out in the cold so long I didn’t even know that I was cold.”

93. “All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own.”

94. “All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own, but now I wanna hold you too.”

95. “You take me in your arms and suddenly there’s sunlight all around me.”

96. “I don’t wanna go back to the lonely life.”

97. “I don’t know how or why or who I am that I should get to hold you.”

98. “When I saw you all alone against the sky, it’s like I’d known you all along.”

99. “I know you before we met and I don’t even know you yet, all I know is you’re someone I have always known.”

100. “Now I wanna hold you close. I don’t wanna ever have to let you go.”

101. “Say that you’ll hold me forever. Say that the wind won’t change on us.”

102. “Say that we’ll stay with each other and it will always be like this.”

103. “The wind will never change on us as long as we stay with each other.”

  Way Down Hadestown 104. “That was not six months!”

105. “Better go and get your suitcase packed. Guess it’s time to go.”

106. “She’s gonna ride that train til the end of the line.”

107. “Did you ever wonder what it’s like on the underside?”

108. “You either get to hell or to Hadestown, ain’t no difference anymore.”

109. “Everybody tryin’ to get a ticket to go, but those who go they don’t come back.”

110. “Down there it’s a bunch of stiffs. Brother, I’ll be board to death.”

111. “Takes a lot of medicine to make it through the winter time.”

112. “All them shiny little heads and tails, where do you think they come from?”

113. “Everybody shines by the sweat of his brow.”

114. “The wage is nothing and the work is hard.”

115. “It’s a graveyard in Hadestown.”

116. “Mr. Hades is a mean old boss!”

117. “An eye for an eye! A lie for a lie!”

118. “You better forget about your wishing well.”

119. “I missed ya.”

120. “Mr. Hades is a mighty king.”

121. “Must be making some might big deals. Seems like he owns everything.”

122. “Kind of makes you wonder how it feels.”

  A Gathering Storm 123. “He came too soon. He came for her too soon. It’s not supposed to be like this.”

124. “Well, til someone brings the world back into tune this is how it is.”

125. “Touched by the gods is what he is.”

126. “Finish it quick. The wind is changing. There’s a storm coming on.”

  Epic II 127. “Hades is king of oil and coal and the riches that flow where the rivers are found.”

128. “His loneliness moves in him crude and black.”

129. ���He thinks of his wife in the arms of the sun.”

130. “Jealousy fuels him and finds him and fills him.”

  Chant 131. “Low. Keep your head low.”

132. “You gotta keep your heard low if you wanna keep your head.”

133. “In the coldest time of year, why is it so hot down here?”

134. “Lover, you were gone so long. Lover, I was lonesome.”

135. “When you feel that fire, think of it as my desire.”

136. “I am keeping one eye on the sky and tryin’ to trust that the song he’s working on is gonna shelter us from the wind.”

137. “In the darkest time of year, why is it so bright down here?”

138. “When you see that glare, think of it as my despair.”

139. “His black gold flows in the world down below and her dark clouds roll in the one above.”

140. “That’s why times are so hard. It’s because of the gods.”

141. “The gods have forgotten the song of their love.”

142. “I’m trying to believe that the song he’s working on is gonna harbor me from the wind.”

143. “Did you think I’d be impressed with this neon necropolis?”

144. “Everything I do, I do it for the love of you.”

145. “If you don’t even want my love, I’ll give it so someone who does. Someone grateful for her fate, someone who appreciates the comforts of a gilded cage.”

146. “Think of them as my embrace of you.”

  Hey Little Songbird 147. “Hey little songbird, give me a song.”

148. “I’m a busy man and I can’t stay long. I got clients to call. I got orders to fill.”

149. “I got walls to build. I got riots to quell.”

150. “They’re giving me hell back in Hades.”

151. “Hey, little songbird, cat got your tongue?”

152. “Always a pity for one so pretty and young when poverty comes to clip your wings and knock the wind right out of your lungs.”

153. “Nobody sings on empty.”

154. “Strange is the call of this strange man.”

155. “You’d shine like a diamond dark in the mine.”

156. “The choice is yours if you’re willing to choose, seeing as you’ve got nothing to lose.”

157. “Wasn’t it gonna be the two of us? Weren’t we birds of a feather?”

158. “Let me guess. He’s some kind of poet and he’s penniless.”

159. “Give him your hand, he’ll give you his hand-to-mouth.”

160. “He’ll write you a poem when the power is out.”

161. “See how the vipers and vultures surround you. They’ll take you down, they’ll pick you clean.”

162. “People get mean when the chips are down.”

  When The Chips Are Down 163. “Life ain’t easy. Life ain’t fair. A girls gotta fight for he rightful share.”

164. “What you gonna do when the chips are down?”

165. “Help yourself, to hell with the rest. Even the one who loves you best.”

166. “Take it if you can, give if you must. Ain’t nobody but yourself to trust.”

167. “Aim for the heart, shoot to kill. If you don’t do it then the other one will.”

168. “The first shall be first and the last shall be last.”

169. “Cast your eyes to heaven, you get a knife in the back.”

170. “Nobody’s innocent now that the chips are down.”

  Gone, I’m Gone 171. “My heart is yours, always was and will be. It’s my gut I can’t ignore.”

172. “My heart it aches to stay, but the flesh will have its way.”

173. “The way is dark and long. I’m already gone.”

174. “Go ahead and lay the blame. Talk of virtue, talk of sin.”

175. “Wouldn’t you have done the same in her shoes, in her skin?”

176. “You can have your principles when you’ve got a belly full, but hunger has a way with you.”

177. “There’s no telling what you’re gonna do when the chips are down.”

  Wait For Me (Intro) 178. “Hey, the big artiste! Ain’t you working on your masterpiece?”

179. “What do you care? You’ll find another muse somewhere.”

180. “Wherever she is is where I’ll go.”

181. “What if I said she’s down below?”

182. “She called your name before she went, but I guess you weren’t listening.”

183. “Just how far would you go for her?”

184. “Course there is another way, but nah, I ain’t supposed to say.”

185. “It ain’t for the sensitive of soul. So do you really wanna go?”

186. “With all your heart? Well, that’s a start.”

  Wait For Me 187. “You have to take the long way down, through the underground under cover of night.”

188. “Ain’t no compass, ain’t no map. Just a telephone wire and a railroad track.”

189. “Wait for me, I’m comin’.”

190. “If all you got is your own two legs, just be glad you got ‘em.”

191. “Who are you to think that you can walk a road that no one ever walked before?”

192. “You’re on the lam, you’re on the run. Don’t give your name, you don’t have one.”

193. “Don’t look no one in the eye.”

194. “That town’ll try to suck you dry.”

195. “They’ll pluck the heart right out your chest.”

196. “I hear the walls repeating the falling of my feet and it sounds like drumming.”

197. “I hear the rocks and stone echoing my song.”

  Why We Build The Wall 198. “Why do we build the wall my children, my children?”

199. “We build the wall to keep us free.”

200. “That’s why we build the wall, we build the wall to keep us free.”

201. “How does the wall keep us free my children, my children?”

202. “How does the wall keep us free?”

203. “How does the wall keep us free? The wall keeps out the enemy.”

204. “Who do we call the enemy my children, my children?”

205. “Who do we call the enemy?”

206. “Who do we call the enemy? The enemy is poverty and the wall keeps out the enemy.”

207. “We have and they have not my children, my children. They want what we have got.”

208. “What do we have that they should want my children, my children?”

209. “What do we have that they should want? We have a wall to work upon.”

210. “Our work is never done my children, my children.”

  Why We Build The Wall (Outro) 211. “There are papers to be signed. Step into my office.”

212. “A lot can happen behind closed doors. That’s for sure, that’s a fact.”

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Summer of 89′ | 004

Read from the Start | Read on AO3

Declan Wolfe had been the bane of Beca Mitchell's existence for three whole years before her resolve finally began to crack in the slightest. That’s 1,095 days and 26,280 hours of her life she would never get back- but she wasn’t counting. Declan had one of those faces that would just sell whatever someone wasn’t in the market for.

He had once launched into a story about his foray into the door to door salesmen industry during their lunch hour. Buzzing like a gnat trapped against a windowpane. Beca went from wanting to gently open it to the summer air, to wishing she had a human-sized fly swatter dipped in bug spray.

But his stupid peppered hair and somber look had grown on her. The way he would listen intently when she spoke, the way he would only wear suits despite both of them taking up employment in a radio station where no one would see his efforts. The way he searched for the strange and other-worldly, just like her.

Declan Wolfe wasn’t so horrible. Not after he got her roses for her birthday and split a cheesecake with her when his wife had to leave for a work emergency, catching the nice flight from Maine to Tulsa. She even found herself picking him up coffee for their ungodly hours in the office.

“Right, I’m not completely dismissing the idea,” He said from his seat across the small table. The On-Air sign shaded his features in a bloody red. “I’m just saying that it’s human instinct to look away from something like that. The movie was unrealistic.”

“Oh, I beg to differ. Haven’t you ever been stuck in traffic after an accident? Half of the reason you can’t get to work is because they’re cleaning up the scene, the other is because all the drivers roll down their window in morbid curiosity.”

“You’re acting as if you’ve never covered your eyes during a horror movie.”

Beca leaned back in her seat, playing with the cord to the headphones strapped around her neck. This studio was quaint- a small round table that housed their equipment and two laptops to look up information in a matter of seconds. There was a glass window leading to the two producers that alternated out depending on the day. Alec Wexler gave her the signal to keep talking through the glass.

“When you go into a horror movie, you expect to get scared. That’s fun. When you see a fire truck whizzing by on the freeway a part of you wants to chase after it.” Beca countered “It has everything to do with the adrenaline, man.”

Declan laughed and shook his head. The two of them would banter between today’s greatest hits mixed with a splash of earlier decades. The station seemed to like the appeal of co-hosts that didn’t always get along, ones that weren’t afraid to tap into deeper topics while drivers sat bumper to bumper.

“Okay, if you’re so sure of yourself, let's take a few calls. See what Maine’s wonderful residents have to say about that.” He scooted forward and pressed the first button lit among many. Each phone line labeled with masking tape and most blinking rapidly. “You’re on with MER9, what’s your name?”

Beca tended to hold her breath during the first call. They had an intern from the nearby college screen the callers, even give them a little sheet with general information on it before they were greenlit. It was to avoid incidences- a system they refined greatly after Beca was hired as a co-host.

She had crawled into her car after her first day, drove the nearest parking lot, and cried until her throat was raw and she had nothing more to give. She could still feel the grooves of the steering wheel and the way the frigid air of her hometown snuck through a cracked window. All of her regretted flying back across the country at that moment. After the countless calls branding her a killer, asking if she had any remorse.

Four years later and her palms still sweat profusely when Declan pressed that little button next to line one.

“Hi, my names Jenny,” She said politely a part of Beca relaxing instantly. “And I just wanted to say, I agree with Beca on this one.”

“Oh, I like you already.”

“People want to know what’s going on in the world, or just on their street, ya know? That’s why we have news coverage of stuff like this and reporters that nearly kill themselves to get the next story. Which is why they make movies about it too”

Beca smiled triumphantly at Declan “Alright, thank you so much for your clearly correct answer, Jenny. I think it’s time we hear from another caller?”

She pressed the button for line two, settling into the routine they did every morning between the greatest pop and rock hits that the world had to offer. She had gotten used to the early call times and the scent of popcorn coming from the office kitchen, despite the fact that day had barely broken.

“Uh yeah,” A male voice, deep and scratchy filled the line. “I actually have a question for Beca.”

Declan lifted an eyebrow “Go right ahead.”

There was a silence that took over the studio, Beca casting a wary glance towards Alec. The producer simply shrugged and adjusted his headset, not bothering to tell her to switch the lines or cut to something different completely. Instead, they stared at each other and he lilted his head to the side.

“You were basically in a horror movie yourself, weren’t you?”

The man sitting across from her opened his mouth to speak but bit his tongue and watched her carefully. It wasn’t a statement outright claiming she had done something; not like the messages written on her car in spray paint, or the letters from listeners demanding that she was terminated. It was haunting and slow, curiosity at the crumpled-up cars on the side of the road.

“I… suppose so, yes.” She shifted, “That was a long time ago.”

“Thirteen years this Saturday.”

Beca struggled to laugh it off. “As I said, a long time. But that doesn’t’ change my stance on the topic. Stuff like that sells, it’s human nature to flock towards the unknown. Why do you think I wake up at four am every weekday? It has nothing to do with bigfoot sightings, I can tell you that much.”

“Do you remember what you did that night?”

“Ah,” Her attempt at steering the conversation away from her past had failed miserably, and Declan turned towards their producer with a strained look on his face. The producer wasn’t looking up, instead, he was scribbling something down on a piece of notebook paper. “That’s something that’s hard to forget.”

Alec slammed his message against the window. Keep him on the line. Tracking.

That’s just what Beca needed, another restraining order. It would have been easier to just hang up, to pass this off as someone else who made her whole entire body feel numb like black water was once again filling her lungs and clouding her vision. Like the muck of a lake was crawling between her toes and the salty taste of rancid water coated her tongue. She swallowed.

“How could someone do something like that?” He asked, voice raspy.

“Out of self-defense.” Declan answered automatically “She was seventeen. She did exactly what she thought was right. She got out of there. You all know the story by now, God it’s certainly written in a million different ways. She didn’t kill anyone.”

She didn’t’ know how many times she had to hear those four words. She had fired a gun, she had felt the kickback in her wrist. She had watched the blood spill against loose dirt. But in the end, she hadn’t taken a life. Not at that camp. She almost lost her own.

“Maybe not herself.” The man spoke coolly “But doing nothing is doing something.”

The line went dead then, and Beca shoved the headphones down to her neck as she moved away from the microphone and drew in a cold breath. Declan stumbled through another awkward statement before flipping on the music, followed by a string of commercials that would give Beca more time.

Alec burst through the doors, having removed his own headset. He looked frazzled, blonde hair falling into his eyes as he crouched down in front of Beca. The On-Air sign buzzed against the side of his features like the wrong side of the sun.

“Hey, you alright? That dude was just some fuckin creep. I don’t even know how he got through the interns.”

“They're interns, that’s why.” Declan proclaimed as he paced against the small space, avoiding the table. “I want all of them fired. Replaced. Whatever.”

“No,” Beca drew in a shaky breath, putting her hand on Alec’s. “It’s okay. It was a mistake I’m sure.”

Alec watched her carefully as she excused herself to get some air. The damp morning wind drawing in from the nearby docks. A funny place to put a radio station. She could smell the murky water and hear the seagulls searching for their morning meals. The light just peeking over the horizon, a blue hue filling the air.

Beca needed a cigarette.