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#she’s just so happy at that moment too!! like surprise!! I’m here!!
pitchsidestories · 2 days
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can't stop this feeling (2) II Alessia Russo x Reader
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part 1 I masterlist I word count: 1869
a/n: hi, yes, we're still obsessed with the Alessia picture above and hope you'll enjoy part 2 as much as the one before, can be read before part 1. 💕
When the final whistle blew, the sound reverberated across the football field. You sighed in defeat. Arsenal had lost their game. It was stupid and unnecessary but it had happened.
You tried to shake the loss off as quickly as possible, the next game would come soon. From across the field, Alessia caught your attention.
She stood in front in front of the Arsenal fans, her head hung low and applauded them. She looked sad and embarrassed like she wanted to be anywhere else at this moment. Your heart ached for her.
You walked over, slipping a hand on her shoulder: “Heads up, Lessi.“
“Yeah… wasn’t a great game…“, she admitted, her voice was thin and hoarse.
“We all have those games.“, you tried to encouraging.
When Alessia finally turned to her, you realized that her eyes were rimmed red. “Feels like I constantly have them.“
“That’s not true. It’s your first season here, it’s normal that it takes time. Plus, you already showed your potential.“, you shook your head.
Alessia was taller than you but she looked so small standing right in front of you. “I just feel like people expect more from me…“
You smiled at her: “Yeah, because you’re the star girl.“
“Not at the moment.“
“To me, you’re.“, you assured her.
The corners of her mouth slightly quirked up: “You’re the sweetest. I love you.“
You blinked at her for a moment. It’s been weeks since your talk, weeks since you started dating. A lot of things were still new to Alessia so you were taken aback by the fact that she said it so casually.
“I love you too.“, you finally replied after a few heartbeats.
“You always make me smile.“ The striker pulled you into a quick hug.
“It was the first time you said it out loud…“
She looked at you just as surprised: “Was it?“
“Yes…“
“I didn’t even realize.“
For a moment you both only stood there, astonished by the situation. A slow warm sensation spread through your body, the exhilaration of hearing these three words for the first time pushed aside the defeat.
You could feel yourself grinning as you took Alessias hand: “Come on, we’ve team dinner tonight.“
“Yeah, can’t wait. That’s always fun.“, she nodded and followed you towards the changing room.
“I’m sure Kyra’s already up to some mischief again.“
“She always is.“, the striker laughed.
“Let’s go, love.“
You watched Alessias cheeks turn pink as you left the pitch and the bad game behind.
Alessia loved camps with the England national team, the Mediterranean location in which they their staying at spoke to her sunny soul.
After the training she and Lucy immediately jumped into the ice tub to cool themselves down.  The Blonde loved chatting with the older woman who was in a relationship with one of her closer friends:” I know that Ona is very happy with you Lucy, when we actually find time to phone call each other, she won’t stop talking about you.”
“Ugh, can’t believe you still talk.”, the defender groaned playfully.
“Excuse me? Friendship never ends.”, Alessia snorted.
“I know you two gossip about me.”, she replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“All the time and about y/n.”, the forward laughed light-heartedly.
“I knew it!”, the dark-haired woman grinned.
“I mean it’s always fun to gossip about each other’s girlfriends.”, the younger woman shrugged nonchalantly.
Immediately the chattiness between all the players who were soaking up the sunshine came to a halt and stared shocked at the two players standing in the ice tub.
“Girlfriends?”, Lucy repeated stunned.
“Yes, y/n is my girlfriend.”, Alessia told her proudly smiling as she tried hard to o ignore the quietness around them.
“I didn’t know you were into girls.”, the defender muttered. It was a rare occasion to see her this surprised about something.
“Me neither, y/n was the first woman to make me question things.”, the half-Italian answered in an honest tone.
“That’s how we all started.”, Fran explained, the smaller player who was sitting closest to them was coming to her to pad her shoulder encouraginlx.
“Very true.”, Millie added smirking.
“Who would have thought.”, Lucy shook her head in amusement.
“Not me.”, Jess admitted truthfully.
“But I knew!”, Beth tuned into the conversation with a triumphantly smile on her lips.
“And I was the first whom Lessi told that she kissed a girl!”, Ella yelled excitedly, hugging her best friend after she and the Barcelona player left the ice tub.
“Guys!”, Alessia nervously tucked a loose string of her hair behind her ear. This was too much attention on her coming out for her liking.
“Don’t worry, baby gay, we’re here for you.”, Lucy winked at the red-faced forward.
“Oh my god.”, slightly embarrassed the younger woman hid her face in her hands.
“It’s okay to be gay, you’re in good company.”, Beth reassured the fellow Blonde cheerfully.
“I know it’s. I just don’t won’t to be babied.”, Alessia clarified while sticking her tongue out into the direction of the Barcelona defender.
“Lucy won’t do it again. I’ll take care of it.“, Beth promised, raising an eyebrow in the direction of your older teammate.
Unimpressed by Beths threat, Lucy smirked at her: “What are you going to do about it?“
“I’ve my tools for that.“, the winger replied, elbowing the defender hard in the side.
Alessia had to suppress a laugh. Yes, it was still awkward to talk about it but she could always count on her teammates to provide a safe space.
Right after the international break, you had a few free days. And you had something planned for Alessia.
Cluelessly, the blonde striker followed you through the streets of London. You had told her to dress up and that you would go out but you never said where you would take care.
You felt a bit nervous, hoping that she would like the idea as you came to a stop.
Alessia looked at you, then at the sign of the gay bar. You could see her thoughts racing behind her eyes.
You smiled at her encouragingly: “Let’s get inside. Millie and Ona are already waiting, Lessi.“
“Okay…“, she said plainly.
“No need to be nervous. Trust me.“, you promised her and gently took her head. You led her inside the bar where Ona Battle and Millie Turner already sat at a table, waving at the two of you.
“Hi, girls.“, you smiled.
“Hey!“, Ona greeted you and Alessia with a hug. You could feel Alessia relax beside you.
“Hi, great to see you two again.“, she beamed at her former Manchester United teammates.
“Miss you at Manchester, girl.“, Millie laughed.
You pulled Alessia closer to you: “Sorry, she plays for Arsenal now!“
“What about me?“, Ona complained loudly.
“Oni, I miss you the most. Your hair is so good for braiding!“, Millie grinned, running a hair through the Spaniards ponytail.
“Oh my god! You’ve a favourite!“, Alessia yelled, sitting down at the table with them. Being with her friends seemed to help her nervousness. You watched with a smile on your lips.
Ona pulled her hair out of Millies grip: “We’re not here to braid hair!“
“No, first round of drinks is on me.“, Alessia said confidently.
The Spanish defender shook her head determinedly: “No, it’s on us!“
“What? Why?“, Alessia asked, looking at her former teammates in confusion.
“Because it’s your first time here.“
Alessia looked at you from across the table: “It has been many firsts at the moment but I love them all.“
Your heart filled with so much love at the sight of her beaming with happiness.
“That’s normal in your first queer relationship.”, the Manchester United admitted.
“True.”, Ona agreed with a warm smile on her lips.
“I really appreciate how supportive everyone is. Makes me feel less stupid.”, your girlfriend confessed.
After a short pause she lifted her drink:” Cheers everyone.”
“Cheers.”, you all clinked your glasses against each other. The fun part of the evening officially started. It turned out to be a very happy reunion, a lot of memories were made together.
Later in the tube, Alessia whispered into your ear:” I want to do it tonight.”
The sentence sends a shiver down your spine.
“Are you sure?”, you asked her, while you couldn’t hide how thrilled you were at the prospect of it.
“Yes.”, the blonde confirmed seriously. Her light blue eyes turned darker with desire as the tube was rushing through the London Underground system. Filling you with thrill and excitement about what was to come.
“Alright.”, you smiled at her.
“Please. I can’t wait.”, Alessia answered passionately, running her free hand who wasn’t on the handle impatiently through your open hair.
“Okay, babe. We’ll be doing it.”, you replied, before kissing her, much to your surprise the blonde answered this kiss even hungrier. Both of you forgot where you were in this moment, the only thing that mattered right now were you two.
“Shit, we need to get out.”, you realized, when the tube stopped at your station.
“Oh shit.”, your girlfriend cursed.
You let out a relieved laugh, once you left it, the sound of closing doors behind you: ”  Thank god, we made it out of there right in time.”
“We’re home.”, you announced. Alessia and you were both a little nervous. Expectation hung in the air.
“Finally.”, the forward responded, letting her handbag fall to the ground, so she was able to cup your face with her hands before giving you fervent kisses enlighten a fire inside of you.
Turned out the wait has been worth it, the first sex with her was perfect.
A few months have passed since that day, you felt proudness when your girlfriend asked you to go as her date to an award ceremony. Both of you had fun planning your outfits together.
In the evening you walked hand in hand on the red carpet.
“Miss Russo, it’s cute that your teammate is accompanying you tonight, how are you feeling tonight?”, the journalist addressed the question to Alessia.
“Really good. I’m very excited that my girlfriend can be here with me.”, she beamed at him.
“Girlfriend?”, the man raised an eyebrow.
“Yes.”, the blonde confidently raised her chin.
“What are you two wearing?”, the journalist swiftly changed the topic.
“It’s cute, right?”, Alessia swirled around to show off her dress.
“Tooney, hi.”, you waved at the familiar face. The walk on the red carpet was over for you both.
“Hi.”, she greeted you two.
“You’re looking great.”, your girlfriend complimented her best friend.
“Thanks so do you.”, Ella winked.
“I had the best personal stylist at my side.”, Alessia said while looking at you.
“Oh, please.”, you felt your cheeks turn hot.
“It’s true.”, she pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“I thought you were just trying to experiment, but you look so much happier now.”, Ella told your girlfriend happily.
“I am, Tooney.”, the Arsenal forward’s face lit up.
“That’s the most important part.”, Ella answered, before pulling you both into a hug.
Alessia couldn’t stop the feelings she had for you and the football player wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated. <3
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hhughes · 2 days
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୨୧ ⋅ 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍﹙⠀JH86⠀﹚
⠀⠀╰  ꒰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ◞ fem!wife!reader x jack hughes
⠀⠀╰  ꒰ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ◞ in which jack’s wife gives birth
⠀⠀╰  ꒰ 𝐜𝐰 ◞ complications during birth. talk of death.
⠀⠀╰  ꒰ 𝐰𝐜 ◞ 3.2K
⠀⠀╰  ꒰ 𝐚/𝐧 ◞ more of jack and pregnant!wife!reader since we all loved them sm!
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You were sitting sideways on Jack’s lap in the lake house living room, while he was rubbing his hands up and down your swollen belly. 
“What are we eating tonight?” Quinn asks, from the other couch. 
“Chicken nuggets?” you ask, looking up at Jack and he smiles down at you.
"Whatever you want,” he whispers, kissing your temple, and Luke groans from his seat next to Quinn.
"You guys are so mushy.” he teases and you stick your tongue out at him.
"You're just jealous." you say with a smile and Luke grins back. 
He was a little jealous. He’s had a front row seat to your and Jack’s love from the moment you met, when you got married, up until now when you’re having a baby.
It’s like you guys fall more and more in love every day. Luke feels fortunate that he gets to witness that as often as he does. He can only hope to one day find something similar. Until then though, he is more than happy to tease you about it.
The guys honestly couldn’t eat any more chicken nuggets. It’s all that you’ve been eating for weeks. They even started calling the baby a little nugget because of it. 
“Chicken nuggets…again?” Quinn asks
“Yeah,” you agree, shifting to the side and groaning a little as pain shoots up your back all of a sudden.
“What’s wrong?” Jack asks
“I got a pain.” 
“A pain?” Jack asks, face full of alarm as he watches you. “What kind of pain?”
When you feel another pain shoot up your back, you cry out a little and grip Jack’s hand and sucking in a breath. “Pain, pain.”
“Like baby pain?” Quinn asks, his eyes wide in concern.
“I don’t know,” you say, shifting side to side, hoping it would lessen the burn in your back. It couldn’t be time. You weren’t ready. “It hurts.”
 “Do we need to go in? Quinn, grab her bag!” Jack says but you don’t move, leaning into him more as your back tenses up. It hurt, badly, but it was probably just braxton-hicks, you had those before. Though, this time felt more intense and that kind of worried you. 
“I don’t know. Wait. It’s not time. I’ve got like three more weeks.” you hiss out a breath.
“Maybe we should call my mom…I doubt she’s far” Jack says and you shake your head.
“No, I’m okay-” but before you could even finish your sentence, fluid rushed out of you, wetting your thighs and Jack’s lap in the process.
“Are you pissing on me?” Jack cries out.
“No. I think my water broke.” 
“Oh fuck. Can you stand? Quinn! Get her bag. We gotta go.” Jack says frantically, gently moving you off his lap and onto the couch.
“Ew, you have baby juices all over you.” Luke says and Jack sends him a glare.
“Shut up, Luke! Let me change and we’ll leave. Is that okay…can you wait?” Jack asks, hand on your lower back rubbing soothing circles.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I wanna change too,” you say calmly as the pain lessens enough for you to stand, but Jack doesn’t move. 
“Maybe you should stay here. You don’t wanna move too much right?”
“It’s fine.” 
“Why are you so calm? You’re having a child!” Luke yells even more frantic than Jack.
“Yeah, this isn’t something to be calm about. You’re gonna go crazy over cuddles and chicken nuggets but not about actually giving birth?” Jack asks exasperatedly and you roll your eyes moving past him.
“Let’s get changed and go to the hospital.” you say calmly, believing you have more than enough time to do so.
You heard that births can take up to hours. So when you got to the hospital and in the bed for the Dr. to check you, both of you were very surprised when she said… “You’re already 6 inches. This is gonna be fast, hope you’re ready.”
You look at Jack, who stares back at you, equally panicked and you both laugh. 
“We’re not ready!” he says, shaking his head. “I haven’t finished my book on how to be a good dad yet.” 
“The house in Jersey isn’t near done.” 
“Did you install the baby seat?”
“No, I thought you had.” 
“God we’re a mess! I thought we had three more weeks,” Jack says laughing a little, face full of happiness but you could see the concern in his eyes.
“Well, it’s coming. Might want to call your family, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” the doctor says, taking off her gloves.
“I've already called mom and dad, they’re on their way.” Quinn says and Jack nods appreciatively.
“I’ll call Dylan and Neeks, tell them what’s going on.” Luke says and makes his way out of the room.
“Want me to call anyone else?” Quinn asks
“Trev and Cole,” Jack says and Quinn nods making his way out of the room as well.
Both your parents had died in a car crash when you were little. Your grandma raised you but she passed away a few years ago. You felt a brief moment of sadness, thinking about the fact that you didn’t have any family that was going to be here. But that wasn’t true. When you fell in love with Jack, his family automatically became your own. His parents were your parents. His brothers are your brothers. And you were about to start your own little family with him.
When it’s just the two of you alone in the room, Jack turns and looks back at you gently brushing your hair away from your face. Not saying anything and simply admiring you.
“We got this.” you say, looking at him, trying to reassure him. 
He nods but it’s not confident at all, you could see it in his eyes. He was freaking out. 
“Don’t worry. We’re gonna be fine.” you say, laying a kiss on the palm that was cupping your cheek.
“Never expected you to be so calm about this,” Jack says, a little amused. 
“Right? Usually you’re the calm one.” 
“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “But you’re right, we got this.”
Jack caresses your cheek slightly before tilting your head up and kissing you hard on the lips.
“You’re amazing and I love you so much.” he whispers against your lips and you tear up a bit.
“I love you too. Let’s do this.” 
Nothing could have prepared you for the pain once it actually started up.
“I don’t think I can do this.” you say, gripping onto Jack’s hand so tightly he winces.
“Yes you can. You’re the strongest woman I know, baby. You can do anything.” Jack responds, pressing the washcloth along your forehead as Ellen comes rushing in.
“I’m so sorry. We were already home, and my phone was off. I’m so sorry.” 
“It’s okay mom.” Jack reassures her.
“Everyone is in the waiting room. They wanted me to tell you they love you.” Ellen says taking the spot on your other side and holding the other hand.
“It hurts,” you cry
“I know, you’re doing great. Are you ready to meet our little baby?” Jack asks and you nod. 
“All right. Next contraction, we’re doing this.” the Doctor says, taking a seat at the end of the bed.
“Okay,” you agree, letting out deep breaths.
“You got this, baby.” Jack says, laying his head against yours as the contraction hits and you push with everything you got. 
After several more pushes, the cries of the baby finally filled the room.
“It’s a girl!” the doctor exclaims and you turn to see Jack with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen.
Ellen lets out a soft sob as the doctor places the baby on your chest.
She has Jack’s chin and nose. She looks just like him actually, but as she screamed in sheer frustration, you figured that was all you.
Still unable to speak, you just moved your finger along her little head as Jack cut the cord.
You lay a little kiss on her head. You felt a little dizzy and out of breath but you were pretty sure that was normal.
“What do you think? Eleanor or Rosie? You said you’d know when you saw them.” Jack asks eyes on his little girl. You did say that, but you couldn’t think right now. Closing your eyes, you suck in a deep breath but it feels like you can’t quite catch it. 
“Jack-” 
“Code blue, she’s crashing. She’s bleeding too much.” 
Completely confused, Jack looks up from his perfect little girl to the doctor who was still between your legs.
“Clamps. And get them out of here.” the doctor says and when Jack looks up at you, he sees your head hanging to the side, eyes closed as the nurses hurry to get the baby off you. 
“Baby! Are you okay?” he cries reaching for you, shaking you a bit but you weren’t moving. He wasn’t even sure if you were breathing and before he could check he was being ushered away.
Ellen calls out to you as well but someone grabs her as well, pushing both of them out of the room.
“Sir we need you to wait outside,” the nurse says but Jack rips his arm away, trying to go back in.
“No, I wanna know what’s going on with my wife!”
“She’s bleeding, and the doctor is doing everything that she can. You can’t be in there while she does that. Please just let us do our jobs.” she says and shuts the door in his face.
 “It’s gonna be okay Jack.” Ellen says, her voice trembling as she embraces him. 
“She needs me,” Jack argues
“It’s okay. Let them work on her.” 
-
Seconds turned into minutes and still there was no word. You had to be okay. Jack couldn’t do this without you. People didn’t die during childbirth anymore…did they? He really should’ve finished that damn book. Closing his eyes, he ran his hands over his face and took a deep breath, trying to calm his heart and slow his breathing but it didn’t work.
The door finally opened, but it was only for a nurse to bring out his daughter. His daughter. Those two words should fill him with utmost joy but he couldn’t think about anything but you. Closing the short distance between him and the nurse who was pushing his daughter in a little bassinet, he stopped her. 
“My wife, is she okay?” 
“I don’t know sir. The doctor will be out in a moment.” the nurse says without making eye contact. “Would you like to come with your baby?” 
“I need to know about my wife. Mom,” he says, turning to Ellen.
“I’ll go,” she says, walking away with the nurse.
Jack wasn’t sure if he made the right decision. Should he have gone with the baby? Is that what you would want? No. He needed to know you were okay first.
When the door opened again, he had to take a step back as a nurse came out, pulling your bed with her. 
“Baby?” he gasps and swallows thickly when he sees the blood stained sheets. He’s never seen that much blood.
The nurses just wheel her past him as the doctor finally comes out. 
“Is she going to be okay? Please just…tell me something.” he begs.
"I don't know yet. She lost a lot of blood and she won't stop bleeding. So we are taking her to the OR for a transfusion and to see if there is a tear in the uterus that's causing the bleeding. It could be a number of things, but I won't know which until I'm there."
“Is she gonna be okay?” he asks desperately
“Jack, I’m sorry but I can’t answer that.”
“Please, she’s everything to me. I need her.” 
“I know. I’m going to do everything I can.” she says and runs down the hall, leaving Jack standing there, his mind going a mile a minute.
Taking a shuddering breath and swallowing hard, Jack covers his face and walks backwards into a wall, the hard surface giving him the support he needs. Jack couldn’t even really fathom what had just happened. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Why was this happening?
“Jack?” 
Lifting his head he sees Quinn and Luke racing towards him, Trevor on their heels. 
“Mom texted from the nursery. Are you okay?” 
Jack couldn’t even answer them. He couldn’t say the words out loud, as if not saying them would make them less true. 
He just fell into Trevor and thankfully his friend caught him, wrapping his arms around him and holding Jack up as his cries filled the hall.
“They don’t know what’s wrong. She won’t stop bleeding.” he says against Trevor’s shoulder and he feels both his brother’s hands on his back.
“It’s okay, she’s gonna be okay. She’s the strongest woman I know. It’s okay, just breathe.” Trevor says, his own voice frantic as if he’s trying to convince himself. 
“Where is she?” Quinn asks, and Jack shakes his head, backing away from Trevor as he sucks in a breath, not meeting their eyes as he says, “In the OR”
None of them said anything. They stood there awkwardly, waiting for someone to tell them what to do. 
“Cole is on his way,” Trevor says and all Jack can do is nod.
Jack could sense everyone's anxiety, including his own. There was only one word being repeated in his head. Please. Please don’t take her away. Please don’t let him lose the one person he loves the most after it took him this long to find her. Please don’t let his daughter grow up without her mom. Please. Jack didn’t really know who he was pleading to. God. Anyone who would listen really.
Finally, a nurse came up to them, her face filled with worry. “Mr.Hughes, there's a waiting room by the OR you can wait in.
“Do you have an update on my wife?” 
“No, not yet. I’m sorry. Please follow me.” she says, looking away. 
Together, the guys walked to the surgery waiting room and while Luke and Quinn sat with the rest of the family, Jack stood by the door with Trevor right beside him. 
He had a perfect view of the door to the OR from where he was standing and he wasn’t moving until he knew you were okay.
Looking back to Trevor, Jack swallowed hard. Trevor wasn’t normally the serious type, but he looked as stricken as Jack felt.
Fighting against the sting in his eyes, Jack leaned his head against the door frame and said, “I have the most beautiful little girl.”
Trevor nods, his hand coming to rest on Jack’s shoulder. “I heard, congratulations man.” 
“I didn’t go with her. Does that make me a bad dad?” 
“No. It makes you a great dad because you’re protecting her mom.” and Jack nods, tears flooding his eyes. Neither of them say anything after that as they continue to wait. None of them were prepared to wait as long as they did.
“Should I go check on the baby? Do you think she’s okay?” Jack asks 
“Mom said she’s fine. Healthy.” Quinn says 
“She’s the cutest little thing. Obviously takes after her mom.” Cole says teasingly and Jack smiles.
“Obviously.” Jack agrees, his smile fading a little. 
His head was aching and his heart was heavy. He couldn’t shake the feeling that you weren’t gonna make it. Jack wanted to be optimistic but no one has said anything…and the longer he waited the less hopeful he felt. Was this what his life was going to look like without you? Forever seeing the negative in things…hopeless.
“She didn’t even get to name her. What should I do? I can’t name her. I suck at naming things.” Jack states frantically looking around the room.
“Dude, she’s gonna name her. Don’t worry.” Quinn says.
Jack slides down the door, sitting on his haunches, his face in his hands as he breathed in and out, thinking.
When Trevor came and stood next to him again, a hand on his back, Jack’s tears fell faster. 
“I don’t know what I’ll do.” 
“Don’t think like that. She’s gonna be fine.” Trevor says, his eyes filled with the hope Jack was lacking.
“And if not?” Jack whispers
“Then we’ll raise her. As a family. I mean I’m not even half the person your wife is, none of us are but between all of us I’m guessing little nugget will turn out half decent.” Trevor says and Jack chuckles. 
But a world without you, wasn’t a world where Jack wanted to be. 
Swallowing hard, he looked up right as the door opened and the doctor walked out. He stood up quickly as the doctor walked towards him, letting out a long breath.
“Doc, please tell me she’s okay.” Jack begs.
“She’s stable. We were able to stop the bleeding and replace the blood, she’s going to be just fine.”
“Thank you.” Jack whispers, his voice trembling.
“Of course, I'm sorry I couldn’t give you more earlier, it happened very suddenly and my only priority was to save her.”
“And she’s gonna be okay?” Jack asks
"Yes, she'll heal fine. We'll monitor her once she's released for about the next month or so, but she should make a full recovery.”
“When can I see her?”
“She’s in recovery right now, she should be awake in the next hour or so. A nurse will take you to see her.” the doctor says and Jack thanks her again.
-
“You’re so pretty.” was the first thing you heard when you woke up. When your eyes finally adjusted to the lighting in the room you saw Jack standing next to your bed, looking down at the little bundle in his arms.
“Might even be prettier than your mama. Don’t tell her I said that” Jack whispers and you smile.
“I heard that,” you say, voice a little scratchy and Jack’s eyes lift to meet yours as he walks closer and gently lays the baby in your arms. 
Jack felt his eyes tear up and his heart swell seeing his two girls. 
“She’s perfect.” you whisper
“Just like you,” Jack says, his voice breaking and tears dripping onto your head as he kisses your temple. 
“Don’t cry.” you say reaching up to wipe his tears.
“I thought you were-” Jack cuts himself off, not even wanting to think the thought. 
“I’m okay. We’re all okay. I love you.” you say and Jack smiles down at you.
“I love you. More than you’ll ever know.” 
The day was far from perfect, it was three weeks too soon and it was filled with uncertainty and it wasn’t particularly a day that Jack wanted to remember, but it was the day that his Hope Eleanor Hughes was born and he spends every year thankful that he gets to try to replace the bad memories of that day with good ones.
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soloroomies · 3 days
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lifemate (Chapter 3/ Sakusa x f!reader)
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summary: two years have passed, are you both still up for it? word count. 2.3k cw. marriage pact au, potential mature content a/n. the intro of the story turns out to be quite long... but, here it goes! I'm happy I have a lot of spare time now. So, I think the update for this story will be pretty quick (for now)! Masterlist
A few days later, you tell your predicament to your best friend from college, Tami. She lives in a different city now, so you send her a few messages and call her. She laughs and gives you a piece of her mind regarding the idea.
“That’s actually kinda crazy… Like, wow. I know you’re creative and all, but I didn’t expect you to do something like this. This is another level,” she continues to laugh loudly. You roll your eyes at this, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement.
“Oh no, wait. I can actually see you doing this type of thing,” she adds, still chuckling.
“Hey, please help a friend here. Does it really sound that bad?!” you plead, hoping for some serious advice.
“Do you want me to be honest?” she asks, her tone suddenly serious.
“Of course!”
“In all my life knowing you and hearing your love life stories, I never see you wanting to pursue someone. Like, be committed, y’know?”
You pause to think for a second. That’s true. She’s right.
“Errr, yeah, I think. But, I would want to be committed if that person makes me want to! It’s just I never found the one that makes me want to. You get what I mean?” you explain, feeling a bit defensive but also reflective.
“But, how would you know? Like, what’s your standard? What kind of person makes you want to do that?” Tami presses, her curiosity genuine.
You’re stunned. Fuck. You don’t really know. Isn’t it just like a gut feeling or something? Or someone who makes you feel butterflies in your stomach? Or is it someone who makes you feel secure? You don’t really know. Tami senses your hesitancy and sighs.
“See. You don’t know it yourself,” she says, her voice softening.
“I’m no psychologist or something, but I know you. I know you have it in yourself to love someone deeply. But, you also have some standards that you set for yourself. It’s not weird at all,” she reassures you.
“It’s tricky. But, I think maybe that’s what makes you struggle a bit to start intimacy with someone.”
You get every word she says and, damn, she really knows you so well. Her insights are like a mirror reflecting your innermost thoughts.
“Not everyone will have the same relationship journey, y’know? Not everyone will feel or experience romantic love. But, in no way am I trying to tell you that you will not experience that,” she continues, her tone both comforting and encouraging.
You understand what she means. You sometimes expect yourself to experience the kind of love that movies, songs, and pop culture depict. Maybe some people do experience that, but not everyone’s reality is the same.
“I do think that the marriage stuff is beneficial though for you. But, how about your need for intimacy? Will you get it from him, from Kiyoomi?” she asks, her voice tinged with concern.
“I don’t know. But, I care about him,” you reply honestly.
“That’s good.” Then, she goes silent. Seems like she’s thinking. You’re thinking, too. What kind of arrangement will this marriage be? Will this be the kind of open marriage, with both of you can be with anyone? That’s something that you’ll need to further discuss with Kiyoomi. Some rules and boundaries need to be set. Tami seems to have the same thoughts as you as she speaks up about it a moment later.
“On the other hand, though. Sakusa is hot as fuck,” she says, breaking the serious tone with a playful remark.
You laugh loudly, the sudden shift catching you off guard.
“What, you don’t think so? I honestly am surprised with you. You always send me TikTok thirst traps of some random men. I know you know fine men when you see one. And, urgh, your friend is so fine too, girl! Are you blind or something?!”
“Of course, I find him handsome, too! That’s why I’m telling you that I don’t want to trap him with me when he can be with any majestic woman he likes! Plus, it’s weird to think your friend is hot all the time,” you roll your eyes, feeling a bit defensive again.
“I’ll say this sincerely. You and him look good together. That’s it,” she states firmly.
You try to picture you and Kiyoomi together, feeling a strange mix of curiosity and warmth.
“If this plan of you and him happens, he’ll be your husband!” she exclaims, emphasizing the word "husband" with a teasing tone.
You try to picture you and Kiyoomi doing some domestic stuff together and find yourself blushing. What?!
“S—shut up!!” you stutter, feeling flustered.
Tami laughs hearing you stutter, enjoying the reaction she’s elicited.
“Don’t even think about not consummating your marriage! I know you’re not that stupid!” she adds, her voice dripping with playful mischief.
You shush her again, feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed by the thought. You really don’t want to think of Kiyoomi that way. It feels wrong.
You end your call with your best friend, concluding that you better not rely fully on the pact you made with Kiyoomi. You should still live your day like usual and try to find your potential love interest as usual. 
And you did. You go about your days as usual, juggling work, meeting with friends, and attending your monthly meet-ups with Komori and Kiyoomi. Nothing is brought up about the pact with Kiyoomi. Even though it occasionally comes to mind unexpectedly. Life is hectic as always, but you still find time to go on a few dates with new people, either introduced by friends, colleagues from work, or even your parents. Without realizing it, two years have passed.
This New Year's, you spend it at your family home, reconnecting with your parents and some of your extended family. You also reunite with some friends, including Tami, who decides to visit your city. After a few days, you return to your apartment on Friday night, deciding to rest before returning to work on Monday.
That is until you receive a message from Komori in your group chat with him and Sakusa. He invites you and Sakusa to a party at his house on Saturday night. After pondering for a bit, you decide it will be a great way to end your holiday. You miss them, and a party sounds fun. You reply to the chat, confirming you'll come. Minutes later, you see that Sakusa has also replied that he will be there. Komori's parties often include volleyball pro athletes, tall men with their muscular bodies, which is always a plus. You laugh to yourself, mentally slapping yourself for the thought.
Suddenly, upon seeing Sakusa's message in the group chat, you remember something very important that you had forgotten. Shit, shit! You check your calendar. Has it really been two years? Damn, this is the year. You sit in stunned silence for a few minutes. Does Sakusa even remember? Has he gotten himself a girlfriend yet? You try to recall your meet-ups with him and Komori. You remember Komori teasing him about some girls a few times, but there were no clear signs that he was in a relationship. Shit. It would be weird to bring it up. You might look desperate or something. And why did you suddenly remember this now?! Things were fine when you didn’t.
You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. You’re a grown woman, dammit! You decide not to bring it up unless Sakusa does. You want to see how serious he is about this. If he’s serious, he’ll remember, right? Are you being immature right now? Hopefully not! Why do you feel this way though? It’s just Kiyoomi. You huff, frustrated with yourself. Whatever. You’ll just see how the night goes tomorrow.
The night of the party finally arrives. You dress casually for the occasion, opting for light blue jeans and a white, fluffy sweater in case the night gets colder. After doing your makeup and hair, you quickly order an online taxi and head to Komori’s house.
You arrive ten minutes after the designated time for the party, and some people are already there. You see some of Komori’s friends from the EJP Raijin team and Sakusa’s MSBY team. Before you can get anywhere, Komori greets you cheerfully. Beside him is Mia, Komori’s wife, who offers you a warm smile and invites you to the snacks corner.
You make light conversation with Mia, asking about the food she made and complimenting her on how delicious it tastes. You also meet some other wives and girlfriends of the athletes. After a few minutes, you find yourself in a fun conversation with a woman you just met, who turns out to be Miya Atsumu’s girlfriend. You recall Atsumu as Sakusa’s teammate in MSBY. Discovering that you both work in tech startups, you bond over shared work ethics and struggles. After a while, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, feeling a bit lightheaded from the beer you consumed. You’re not great with alcohol but didn't realize how much you were drinking while chatting.
When you return to the main room, you hear Komori exclaim, "There you are!" with Sakusa standing beside him. You recall how Sakusa used to be extremely germaphobic, rarely taking his mask off in any place. You respect him but often show him some videos and journals about how human’s immune systems work. You’re sure some people show those kinds of things to him, too. As a result, now, he has managed to tone down his fear a bit and only wears a mask strictly in public places or outside buildings. Sakusa wears a plain black shirt tucked into black trousers. This is one of those moments that makes you painfully aware of how attractive he is, and he even seems so effortless about it.
You quickly dismiss your thoughts and greet them, “Hey!" Then you turn your head to Sakusa and ask, "When did you arrive?”
“Not too long ago,” he replies.
Komori chimes in, “I saw you earlier talking with ‘Tsumu’s girlfriend!”
You nod happily.
Komori asks, “Anyway, how was your New Year holiday?”
You start chatting about your holiday until someone exclaims, “Hey, hey, hey!” Sakusa rolls his eyes. It’s Bokuto Kōtarō, his teammate. He pats Sakusa’s shoulder a few times, which doesn’t faze him, looking fed up with Bokuto's antics. Bokuto then greets Komori and you, recalling you as Sakusa’s bestie.
As it nears midnight, you decide to head home. You excuse yourself from the people you’ve been talking with and tell Komori you're leaving. You look for Sakusa but can’t find him. Just as you're about to order an online taxi, a hand pats your shoulder. It’s Sakusa.
“Oh, hey! I was looking for you!” you say, startled.
“Let me drive you home,” he offers. “I brought my car, and it’s already late.”
You ponder for a bit but then accept his offer. 
Once you’re settled in the seat, he offers to connect your phone to his car's Bluetooth to play some music. You agree enthusiastically, always excited to recommend songs to him. He knows you're always excited too, and he often enjoys your recommendations, playing them frequently himself.
The drive is quiet but relaxing. Suddenly, he speaks up, “Do you remember our pact?”
You cough, surprised. You’re always like this, getting distracted and forgetting important things. Weren’t you stressed about this yesterday? You scold yourself mentally. Then, you nod and respond, “Yeah. I actually just remembered about it yesterday. I’m surprised you remember, Omi.” You laugh.
“Did you forget that I put it in the calendar?” he asks, his tone neutral.
You try to recall the memory of the day you made the pact with Sakusa. Ah! He did set a reminder for the pact on New Year’s Day. You giggle, feeling a mix of amusement and embarrassment.
“How— I mean, like, are you with anyone right now?” you ask tentatively, your voice betraying a hint of nervousness.
“No. Are you?” he replies, his gaze steady and calm.
You shake your head. “No.”
“Are you still up for it? The pact we made?” he asks, his voice steady but with a touch of curiosity.
You’re silent for a moment, pondering. You realize, if anything, you’re more ready than the last time you talked about this with him. The last two years have made it clear how tiring it is to build a relationship with someone. Work remains the same, and you're still juggling side jobs to make ends meet and send some money to your parents. The prodding from your parents has become more apparent too, suggesting dates with the sons of their acquaintances. You've tried to have a date with some of them. But nothing has gone beyond.
So you answer him, “I think I’m up for it. You?”
“Me too,” he says, giving you a quick glance that holds a mix of seriousness and reassurance.
You realize you’ve arrived at your apartment. “I think we need to talk about a lot of stuff regarding this. Do you want to talk about it? Like, tomorrow... maybe?” you suggest, trying to sound composed despite the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind.
“I agree. I’ll pick you up tomorrow,” he replies, his voice steady.
“Okay. Is 9 am okay with you? Or do you have practice?” you ask, wanting to make sure he’s not inconvenienced.
“No, I don’t and 9 am is okay,” he confirms.
With that, you get out of his car. You walk inside your apartment building, realizing that Sakusa is still on the driveway, looking at you. So, you smile and wave at him. As you fold your arms and tap your foot in the elevator, you can’t help but feel a bit antsy. You're really doing this. The anticipation and uncertainty swirl inside you, but there's also a sense of… excitement? You’re about to take a significant step, and the reality of it starts to sink in.
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thecryptidbard · 11 months
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Surprise! I’m back.
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fumifooms · 1 month
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
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Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but I’m jumping into the fray. I think there’s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so it’s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I… Don’t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of her… ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didn’t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. That’s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; it’s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
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Laios’ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, you’re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, I’ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, she’d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, she’d follow him to the ends of the world, and that’s what she did.
She didn’t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesn’t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parent’s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I don’t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather it’s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that it’s as simple as that, mind you, but let’s talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). They’re the ones she’s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didn’t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
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What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think that’s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we can’t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that she’s in there, we just don’t know at what degree), that we don’t know her enough to be able to tell when she’s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is what’s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. She’s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he can’t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that… Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesn’t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who she’s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they don’t cross her mind then of course she’d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesn’t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isn’t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see she’s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me there’s this aspect to her that she isn’t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and there’s something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so she’s friendly and hopefully things’ll be smooth sailing. It’s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you don’t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesn’t do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.
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One situation that’s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what I’m trying to get at, is Shuro’s proposal to her. I’ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didn’t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I can’t say no, I don’t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but it’s actually canon in the Adventurer’s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didn’t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but it’d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense she’d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, there’s even a bit on it on Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, it’s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brother’s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldn’t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah that’s convenient for me, but where it’s everything to him and heartfelt I’m able to be detached because I don’t care about it that much… Can I do that? I’m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though it’s not what you’d expect, isn’t it?
And central to my analysis, where I’m going with this is, I feel like that’s the thing with her character, that she doesn’t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didn’t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didn’t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didn’t seem to care about how they’d experienced her choices.
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So it’s a tendency… And it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that the way she measures what’s good for the ones she loves isn’t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). It’s an overt but quiet kind of care, it’s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuro’s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because she’s thinking about reciprocity, about if it’d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And that’s a big part of her character isn’t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, she’d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurer’s Bible explanation was released midstory, so I’m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didn’t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesn’t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasn’t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what I’m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuro’s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
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And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? It’s rather layered, because canonically she wasn’t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and we’re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isn’t being mistreated (though doesn’t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough she’s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when she’s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chief’s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
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She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think she’d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when she’s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think it’s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. She’s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuro’s proposal, doesn’t want to lead him on? She’ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesn’t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think that’s here too. She doesn’t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesn’t change that she doesn’t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, it’s just that she’s learned growing up that she doesn’t have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. She’ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, she’ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when he’s pushing her away (because he doesn’t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved them— And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didn’t notice the ostracization she suffered.
She’s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didn’t try hard to rectify the dogs’ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someone’s presence isn’t something you ask for, it’s something that’s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you can’t ask them to stay or to come with.
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She’s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so she’s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didn’t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, it’s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasn’t that I’d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I don’t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but I’m sorry that you’re so much more upset about it than me". It’s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
It’s the autism it’s the aroace of it all, it’s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, it’s the feeling like you’re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. I’m not joking btw it isn’t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm you’re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you won’t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about it…"
So… Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I don’t think she actually cares about people all that much. I’d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesn’t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well it’s pretty straightforward really, she’s not all that social and doesn’t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but it’s not as much like… A conviction or goal. She’s too laser focused on a select few people. "It’s not that they’re bad people, they just aren’t interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isn’t her whole world or that she isn’t the kindest soul out there then you’re saying she doesn’t care at all or she’s evil. And that’s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but it’s not in a way that’s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they don’t have the same logic as her, don’t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if I’m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isn’t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, there’s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. There’s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason I’ve chosen this angle is I feel it’s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falin’s character arc as I’ll go over throughout the next section…
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. And……. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You can’t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when she’s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just… Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. That’s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
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There’s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and… Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falin’s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragon’s wasn’t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. She’s stripped of her agency consistently, and so… It’s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falin’s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think I’m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laios’ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, it’s something that’s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
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Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, it’s always been Laios’ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but… On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks it’d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If there’s someone you don’t like, you can gobble ‘em up in one bite. If you could fly, you’d be able to leave this village right now." It’s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
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But you’ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesn’t want to leave knowing they’ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laios’ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isn’t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isn’t to stay and see how well his friends will live, it’s to go. It’s to leave. It’s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. It’s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didn’t, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, it’s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. It’s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying they’ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while they’re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what it’s like to have what she’s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if you’re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when you’re a beast and you can just… Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because you’re at the bottom of the hierarchy, you’re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
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I think she’s on autopilot. I think she’s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and it’s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) It’s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And that’s what is weaponized when she’s a chimera, that instinct she’s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesn’t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesn’t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because she’s trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So you’re probably seeing the duality I’m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often don’t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesn’t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. She’s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, it’s text, in the response to Shuro’s proposal extra no less. And she’s so laser focused on her most loved people that she’s fine with being callous and risking others’ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
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Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her… Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too… In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way that’s not palatable. But she doesn’t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasn’t for a while now, and that’s great.
Notes & nuance
I’m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. It’s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but there’s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "it’s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falin’s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, it’s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I can’t just pull it up whenever it’s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurer’s Bible profile if you haven’t already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didn’t seem to mind others ostracizing her, it’s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid she’s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader… There’s one istanxe of her caring actually, and it’s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laios’ said it and as I rambled Laios’ words are her world, but actually it’s ambiguous. It’s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, there’s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other hand…
Her Adventurer’s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falin’s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesn’t like being called cute over it, but that’s not how she wants people to see her. She doesn’t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
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Here’s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts don’t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe it’s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didn’t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ‘troublesome’. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearances… A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurer’s Bible profile) it’s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I don’t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for others’ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but that’s not personality wise it’s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like that’s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesn’t know what she wants because everything she’s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesn’t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesn’t ask things from people and doesn’t hope for more, hope for better. I don’t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her it’s less ‘appearing stoic to fit in more’ and more ‘yeah i’ll just chill until I’m needed or something activates my enthusiasm’. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you can’t be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivity… I want to speculate about Shuro’s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we don’t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuro’s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I don’t think it was as simple as ‘she wanted to say yes for convenience’. Logically it’s what would have been best, but it’s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesn’t think she’ll get proposed to again, it’s that self-effacing tendency that yes it’d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isn’t in it, because if it’s convenient then that’s more important than her feelings on the matter. Man also… Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldn’t get with Shuro, but imagine how Falin’s whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much she’s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but she’s for sure there & influencing the dragon’s action to some degree. Having a dragon’s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but there’s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, there’s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly there’s the Adventurer’s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that it’s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, it’s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, she’s described as Thistle’s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so I’ll reign myself in and just mention it again. She’s still at the heel of someone, only now it’s someone who doesn’t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that it’s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think that’s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isn’t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc we’ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "I’ll lay down my life for you" point? I’m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isn’t it cool?" gestures of showing things to her… It’s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe it’s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time… I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. I’d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but there’s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important… Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didn’t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you haven’t seen each other in a while or when they’re alone, and yes there’s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin won’t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way… I hope I’m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they don’t know if that’s allowed, if they’re going about the social interaction the right way, if they’re allowed to ask that out of someone…
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didn’t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falin’s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldn’t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course she’d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
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A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcille’s world, Laios’ is at the center of Falin’s, and I tend to agree.
It’s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course there’s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but there’s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think there’s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I don’t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ‘If you die do it somewhere where I can’t see’ style’ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I don’t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isn’t needlessly against ghosts. And Falin’s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because it’s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whatever’s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
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I’m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falin’s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laios’ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesn’t care all that much, she’s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesn’t really care because that’d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but it’s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: she’s canonically very genuinely kind, but it’s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. She’s passive, and softspoken because that’s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the ol’ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. She’s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but there’s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. There’s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falin’s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
She’s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and that’s it don’t hope for more don’t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how she’s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
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That’s it, ty for reading. Even if it’s a bit of a mess, hopefully you’ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Here’s my spotify playlist for her if you’d like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-love’s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
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#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we don’t#get that many moments with her. So there’s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#I’m doomed. I’m getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. It’s mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity you’re expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#he’s here too bc they are an unit#If you’re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falin’s character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairy’s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised she’s hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios… Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#I’d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. I’m not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if you’d prefer. It doesn’t have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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lovekt · 20 days
Text
⋆ 。˚ ⋆。 BIRDS OF A FEATHER ⋆ 。˚ ⋆。
(we should stick together)
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pairing; oscar piastri x fem!reader
blurb; where oscar funds your slightly unhealthy obsession, and uses it as a way to your heart.
author’s note; i’m thinking of writing this up into a little friend to lovers blurb. anywayss something short and sweet as i’ve only got two weeks left of exams!!
🎶; now playing… birds of a feather - billie eilish
<< the library , op81 masterlist >>
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oscarpiastri just posted to their story!
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user1 and that's what I get for screaming my man, my man, my man too loud
↳ user2 girll he was never your man. we all know who that's for
user3 honestly get you a guy who adds to your jellycat collection no questions asked.
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oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, mclaren and 2,374,918 others..
oscarpiastri Another one for another year. Can't wait until there's seventy or so stalking me everywhere I go. Happy birthday "bestie", some more surprises coming soon...?
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user1 everyone say happy birthday rn or ill show up on your doorstep
user2 HE’S PLANNING ON BUYING HER ATLEAST SEVENTY
↳ user3 and yall complain that my standards are too high
yourusername planning on sticking around then?
↳ oscarpiastri For as long as you’ll let me
user4 the last slide is giving parents 😭
user5 my all time fav couple 🫶
↳ user6 i’m gonna hold your hand when i tell you this…
user7 oscar pleaseee tell yn to go public 🙏
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yourusername 🔒
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liked by oscarpiastri and 43 others…
yourusername spent the new day with my bestie and this random aussie lad. dont know where he came from, but i have to say it was the best bday i could’ve asked for 🥰
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oscarpiastri Was it the same random aussie lad who carried you home after you fell asleep on him?
↳ yourusername potentially 🌚
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yourusername posted to their story! 🔒
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↳ oscarpiastri That bunny should be me
↳ yourusername not a very bestie thing to say mr piastri
↳ oscarpiastri Would you prefer I lie?
↳ yourusername yes
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mclaren
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 167,388 others…
mclaren Before and after we told Oscar who our special guest is!
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user1 does it count as a “special” guest when she’s here every race weekend?
yourusername aww im special 🥹
↳ landonorris no get out
↳ yourusername won one race and thinks the world revolves around him
user2 oscar’s lucky charm 🥲
oscarpiastri Definitely didn’t already know who it was
↳ user3 you already knew but still smiled at just her name
liked by mclaren
↳ user4 when will this friends to lovers ao3 400k words slowburn torture end??
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oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, mclaren and 836,018 others…
oscarpiastri P1 and the best gift I could ever ask for.
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user1 something's telling me winning isn't the best gift he's talking about...
yourusername 🧡
user2 don't act like we don't know EXACTLY what happened after that last photo was taken
user3 moments before disaster
yourusername champagne tastes disgusting
↳ oscarpiastri It’ll never happen again your highness
↳ yourusername when did i say i didn't want it to? 🙄
↳ oscarpiastri Noted
mclaren You deserve it all! 🎉
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, mclaren and 76,381 others…
yourusername get you a man who doubles as a footrest
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user1 war is over. YN IS PUBLIC!
↳ yourusername hii!
user2 THE PASTRY JELLYCAT OMG
oscarpiastri This is the first thing you say on public?
↳ yourusername i don't see the problem?
user3 DID OSCAR PASTRY BUY YOU A PASTRY TEDDY??
↳ yourusername yes he did 😋. dyou think if i stab it he'll feel it like a voodoo doll?
↳ oscarpiastri Wow.
↳ yourusername im jokingg bestie its my favourite one
↳ user3 not the friendzone
↳ oscarpiastri Acting like I didn't buy you all of them. Ok
user4 dare i say the wait was worth it
user5 do you guys need a dog?
landonorris happy for you ig
↳ yourusername see you next weekend ig
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yourusername posted to their story!
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↳ oscarpiastri Can you stop calling me bestie now?
↳ yourusername never.
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arieslost · 1 month
Note
personally since I want to take a nice bite outta oscar (and you do too)
what about an oscar x gf!reader who just constantly bites him, not hard enough to leave a mark (thats only in bed) but just a little chomp
like he has an arm around her shoulder while talking to Lando and she just turns her head and *chomp*
lord knows i wanna give that man a nice little monch. just a little 🤏🏻 little bit
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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chomp | op81
something about oscar unlocked the habit within you. he’s just so… yummy. all the time. so one day you acted on the urge to bite him. you did it gently, just barely sinking your teeth into the skin covering the taunt muscle of his bicep when you were cuddled up together in bed. he liked it; encouraged it even, so you never really looked back.
instead of “pinch me,” he soon adopted the phrase “bite me” in its place. it was just an affectionate thing that you did when your feelings for him became so overwhelming words failed you. it happens more often than not— just looking at him and knowing he’s yours is enough to render you speechless.
his instant enjoyment of your gentle bites had you dismissing the behavior as normal quickly, so it now comes as a surprise to you when other people have a visceral reaction to it.
you never pay much mind to what people say on social media, particularly twitter, but almost every day you’re greeted with the sight of you being caught biting oscar and hundreds of people asking what your problem is. it mostly stemmed from the one time that oscar asked (more like begged) you to leave a mark in the throes of a passion-charged moment that happened the night before qualifying and thus it was clear as day to everyone in the paddock the next morning.
you were usually careful to bite parts of him that were almost always concealed. his thighs, his hips, his shoulders, the junction between his shoulder and neck. but he’d been adamant that you bite his neck and leave a mark, and who were you to tell him no? so the whole world ended up becoming privy to your little habit. but oscar never gave anyone the time of day when asked about it, so it never crossed your mind to stop.
now, lando had been the very first to tease him about that infamous mark on his neck, but he’d never been there to see it happen. until today.
oscar had insisted that you join him while he and lando were waiting to be called in for a race debrief, with the promise that he’d take you out for dinner afterwards. you’re always happy to spend extra time with your boyfriend, of course, so you were more than happy to agree.
except lando has a special talent for boring you out of your mind with extremely technical talk. and he loves to talk. you need something to do in order to not implode from boredom, and oscar’s arm is right there, wrapped around your shoulders, so you turn your head and lightly bite the thin skin of his wrist.
the sudden silence is deafening as lando stops talking in the middle of his sentence.
“i thought that was just a weird rumor. you actually bite him?” lando asks.
“um, yeah,” you reply slowly. “so?”
“got a problem with my girlfriend, mate?” you can feel the muscles of your boyfriend’s arm flexing around you as he tenses up a little.
“nope. no. not at all,” his teammate is quick to respond, hand reaching back to scratch his neck. “carry on. i’ll just act like i’m not here.”
so you do, biting him a little harder as a silent chill out. he just kisses your temple, stifling his laughter.
when it’s finally time for their meeting, you’ve traveled from oscar’s wrist all the way up to the inside of his elbow, grazing your teeth along his skin and inhaling his addictive scent. you’d happily do this for hours, and you pout when he separates himself from you.
as an apology, he leaves you with a parting whisper of, “you’re gonna bite me harder than that tonight, right?” that has your whole body heating up.
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word count: 638
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katsu28 · 2 months
Text
welcome to miami
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: lando wins miami, and you're there to see it happen (2.1k)
a/n: had to crank this one out for lando's first win 🧡 i'm still buzzing with excitement and pride omg
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You’d decided to fly out to Miami on a whim, really. 
The last race you’d gone to had been a whole ordeal for you. The airline had nearly lost your luggage, Lando’s request for your paddock pass hadn’t gone through in time so you had to sit outside for hours until things got sorted out, just a few of the many things that definitely weren’t great.
But all things aside, Lando had done great in the race and you were there to witness him in his element—something you’d always love to see.
With all the chaos that seemed to come with the Miami Grand Prix, Lando assured you he’d understand if you wanted to sit this one out. You really were planning to stay behind, honest to god. But when you’d wished him luck and kissed him goodbye before he left for Miami, something in you shifted. 
Something was telling you to go, to be there for him in the flesh, even though it could get crazy and it was definitely a little bit out of your comfort zone. But your love for your boyfriend spanned far and beyond, so you did it. 
The unfortunate thing about the last minute planning was that your flight landed at the same time the race began. Between the mad scramble to make your redeye and confirm things like your pass and credentials when you got to the track, you’d forgotten to actually tell Lando you were coming. 
By the time you’d touched down in Miami, it was far too late. You’d have to settle for surprising him afterwards. 
You arrived at the paddock a little over halfway through the race, collapsing into an armchair at McLaren hospitality with the biggest sigh known to man. Your neck ached, your feet were killing you, you were starving and it was too damn hot here in Miami.
Maybe you could go grab some food in a second, but right now you were so exhausted you wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d fallen asleep right there and then.
“Y/N?” A familiar voice drew you out of your stupor a while later, and you looked up to see Oscar’s girlfriend Lily staring back, a mix of confused and glad to see you. “Oh my god, you’re here! Lando said you weren't coming, he’s going to be so happy to see you!” 
“Yeah, it was a last minute thing, honestly. Lando doesn't even know I’m here.” 
“You must be on the edge of your seat right now.”
“Sorry?” 
 Lily nodded over your shoulder. “He’s winning. Lando’s leading the race, look.”
Suddenly you were wide awake, previous fatigue gone and forgotten as you spun around to look at one of the big screens showing the race. Lo and behold, there Lando was, holding steady at the front of the pack a good few seconds ahead of Max’s RedBull. 
“Holy shit.” You blinked a few times in disbelief, because maybe you were seeing things, but nothing changed. Lando was still P1 with only a handful of laps to go. “Holy shit!” 
“He’s gonna do it, Y/N. Lando’s gonna win.” Lily promised, squeezing your hand tightly. 
And she was right. 
The entire McLaren portion of the paddock erupted into deafening cheers the moment Lando sped past the waving checkered flag, you included. You were cheering so loud you felt your ears start to ring.
People were jumping around with each other left and right, folks you didn’t know hugging you and congratulating you on Lando’s win. It was odd, because you weren’t the one who’d won, it was your boyfriend, but you accepted the praise nonetheless. 
He’d done it. For the first time in his career, Lando had won. All the hard work, all the long days and sleepless nights, all the time and energy and training the entire team had put in to make a dream a reality had finally paid off. 
It felt like a sort of out-of-body experience for you, watching Lando throw himself across the barrier into his team, seeing him up on the top step of the podium with his first P1 trophy. Part of it didn’t feel real, but it was. 
You could hardly sit still while you waited for Lando and the rest of the team to return to the paddock. Of course he had to do a couple post-race interviews, the podium press conference, all that stuff, but you could stick it out. All would be worth it to see the look on his face when he saw that you were here instead of back home. 
It was only fitting that you heard them all coming before you saw them. Cheering, chanting, you even heard some singing going on, and then there he was. He was nothing but smiles all around as you watched him break away from the others and pull out his phone. 
It took everything you had in you not to yell out his name. Instead, you video called him with shaky hands, waiting eagerly for him to pick up. He answered immediately, his gleefully smiling face filling your screen. 
“Hi, I won!” He exclaimed, beaming so big and bright his eyes crinkled at the corners. “I won Miami!”
“I know! I’m so proud of you, Lan!” 
“I really wish you were here to see it, but it’s alright. Everything is so crazy here, I—” He stopped in his tracks as soon as he glanced back down at his screen, bringing the phone so close to his face you could only see one of his eyes and the fading cut across his nose. 
“What’re you doing, bub?” You laughed, feigning cluelessness. 
“Where are you? It’s…” His nose scrunched adorably as he tried to calculate the time difference in his head. “Eleven at night back home, why is it bright out on your end?”
“Maybe I’m not at home.” You shrugged, angling your own phone towards the McLaren logo behind you casually. “Maybe I’m…”
“No. What the fuck? Are you—” He cut himself off a second time, squinting at his phone. It was funny, watching his head whip up both on your screen and from where you were standing, even funnier when he clocked you instantly and all but threw his phone off to the side as he broke out in a full on sprint towards you. “Holy fuck, you’re here! How—what—” Lando was so shocked he couldn’t even finish his sentence, but he didn’t need to.
You let him all but tackle you around the waist, clinging onto his shoulders for dear life as he spun you around a few times. He was hot and sticky with champagne and smelled like sweat and gasoline, but you didn’t care. You were so beyond proud of him you couldn’t even put it into words. Not bursting into tears of pride was all you could do. 
It turned out you couldn’t even do that, because as soon as your feet touched the ground again and he pulled back to look at you with stars in his eyes, the tears started to gather in yours. 
“Oh my god, are you crying?” He laughed, big hands coming up to cup your face tenderly. His thumb swiped over your cheek, catching a lone tear that had managed to escape. “Don’t cry, woman, or else I’ll start crying again.” 
“Of course I’m crying, you dick!” You exclaimed, sniffling a few times in hopes of keeping the waterworks at bay. “I’m happy, I’m proud, I’m really fucking jet lagged right now, I don’t know what I’m doing!” 
“So this is why you weren’t answering my texts!” He exclaimed, holding you at arms length. Even that only lasted a fleeting moment before he was bringing you right back in for another bone-crushing hug. “I knew you weren’t ignoring me! Oscar was being a dickhead, he said I was being clingy.”
“I’m sorry, I was twenty thousand feet in the air at the time.” You gave a watery chuckle, tightening your arms around his neck. “I’m so, so fucking proud of you, baby. Never had a doubt in my mind that you’d be a Grand Prix winner one day. Kinda wish that day was one where I could’ve put on a cuter outfit, ‘cause I can already picture all the god awful photos of this moment right now, but whatever.” 
“Thank you. Thank you for standing by me, thank you for loving me—thank you for everything. I love you. I love you so much.” Lando said, lips pressed to the crown of your head. “I’m beyond fucking lucky to have you, darling. And you always look cute, what’re you even talking about?” 
“You may be a winner now but you’re still a god awful liar, Lando Norris.” 
“Shut up and c’mere,” He murmured, tugging you flush against him with a hand splayed across your back. Before you could say a word, he tilted your chin up with his thumb and pointer finger and he kissed you, finally.
It wasn’t a graceful kiss by any means, but it didn’t matter. He tasted sweet like champagne and victory as he kissed you with his whole soul, nearly knocking you backwards had he not been keeping you firmly in place. 
He pulled away far too early, but pressed one more, much shorter kiss to your lips before he gave you a not-so-subtle once over. Concern bloomed across his face, and instantly you readied yourself for the barrage of questions coming your way in three, two, one. 
“How was your flight? Are you tired? I still can’t believe you forgot to tell me you were coming. Do you want to head to the hotel? I think I've got some more media stuff to do, but I can send for a car to take you back now and I’ll meet you later?” 
“I’m fine, you muppet! Stop fussing over me.” You griped playfully, nudging him with your elbow. “Do what you have to do, I’ll wait here for you.” 
Lando tutted, pressing close to murmur into your ear, breath hot. “What I want to do and what I have to do are two very different things. One involves you, and I can’t do it with all these people around, but—” 
“Lando.” 
“What?” He pouted. You reached up to tug at his earlobe, to which he huffed out a sigh. “Fine. We’ll discuss it later then. I was actually supposed to fly home tonight to get back to you, if you wanted to know.” 
“Really?” Warmth bloomed in your chest at his words. He could’ve done anything he wanted the night following the race, but he’d booked a flight to go home to you. 
“Of course. No matter what the outcome could’ve been, I wanted to see you.” He replied, smiling warmly at you. You turned your head towards him, puckering your lips for a kiss that he happily planted on you. “But since you’re here and not thousands of miles away…how ‘bout we celebrate? Dinner out, maybe go clubbing? Miami’s got a killer party scene, I’ve heard. Unless you’re tired from your flight, we could always just stay in.” 
“My winner wants to go clubbing, then we go clubbing.” You said firmly. Good thing you’d thrown that dress Lando loved on you into your bag, just in case. (Though you suspected he wouldn't have minded buying you a brand new one if you asked.) 
“Your winner, huh?” Lando beamed. “I like the sound of that.” 
“Formula 1 winner Lando Norris takes on Miami! To the clubs we go!” 
-------
“We shouldn't have gone clubbing.” 
You glanced up from where your face had been buried in Lando’s shoulder since the plane had taken off, squinting at your boyfriend through bleary eyes. Even the dim light of the cabin was almost too much for the throbbing in your head, making you wince. “Huh?” 
“Last night. We should’ve just ordered takeaway. Watched a movie or something.” 
“You wanted to go out though?” 
He let out a pained groan, shifting in his seat gingerly. “Yeah, and look where that got me.” 
“What’re you even—oh.” You blinked a few times, and when your vision cleared, you saw it. A ugly looking bruise right above his eyebrow, darkening the surrounding skin. “Did you get that last night?” Lando nodded, prodding at the area gently before you had the sense to swat his hand away. “Stop touching it. I don’t even remember how you did that. I don’t really remember a lot of last night, really.” 
“Me neither.” He snuggled deeper into you, letting his cheek fall against the top of your head comfortably. “Next time I suggest something, tell me I’m being stupid.” 
“I love you even when you suggest stupid things.” 
Lando scowled, but not for long until it morphed into a wince. “I’m too hungover to even argue with that right now. I love you too.” 
“Lando Norris, Grand Prix winner, parties so hard he doesn’t know how he injured himself. Nice.” 
“Are you ever going to stop calling me that?” 
You dotted a kiss to his cheek, smiling bright as you could manage. “No. Do you want me to stop calling you that?” 
“...No.”
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pathologicalreid · 4 months
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sense memory | S.R.
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After eight months, you and Spencer reunite after he was in prison and you were in WITSEC.
who? spencer reid x hotchner!reader category: flangst content warnings: general cm violence, peter lewis, prison reid, cat adams word count: 2.64k a/n: i have no idea if i like this or not. it might be too cheesy. but i like cheese.
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Second floor, apartment 23.
You leaned against the wall and slid down until you were sat on the ground. You left your bag draped over your shoulder, holding the strap tightly.
“Haven’t seen you around in a while, sweetie,” someone said, causing your head to snap up. “Here to see him?” Spencer’s elderly neighbor asked as she passed, carrying a grocery bag in her hand from the market down the street.
Nodding, you smiled softly at her, “I was on a trip. I’m just waiting for him to come home.”
She hummed and kept walking to her door, apartment 24. “He went on a trip too, huh.”
Waving halfheartedly as she disappeared into her apartment, you leaned your head against the wall. Yeah, you went on a trip – a trip to witness protection, and Spencer went to prison.
Spencer went to prison. The words still felt foreign to you, you hadn’t heard them until two weeks ago after Peter Lewis died. Since he didn’t know where you were, he sent letters to your old address, and they were forwarded to the marshal assigned to protect you. When you left the program, you got the letters. 178 letters.
Some of them were several pages long, some of them were as simple as an I love you or an I miss you, and some of them had doodles, usually equations.
You wondered if he’d gotten your mail yet. The letters and pictures you’d collected for your marshal to send to him once you were out of WITSEC. You weren’t even sure if he’d want to see you, but your dad encouraged you to try anyway.
You had left in October, just after his birthday, and now it was May.
After being separated from your dad and Jack for so long, you went to stay with them for a week, but you knew you wanted to return to the district. You wanted to see Spencer, for closure if for nothing else. At least, that’s what you told yourself.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine, JJ,” you heard him say from the first floor, and panic washed over you. The nerves of seeing him again had you wondering whether or not you could survive a jump out of the second-story window.
But the hallway windows didn’t open, you were left panicking, and then there he was.
You shouldn’t be here; you didn’t know what to say to him. The first person from your past should’ve been someone else. You could’ve called JJ or Penelope.
You saw him before he saw you, he was too busy digging in his bag for his keys. Pulling yourself up to your feet, you stood up and wiped your clammy hands on your jeans.
When he looked up and saw you, his expression went from confusion to disbelief to shock. Not once did he look happy, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he, like you, had been finding it hard to be happy lately.
Your chest ached as he walked past you and put his key in the lock. Spencer opened the door, and you held your breath as he held the door open, and you stepped inside of the apartment.
For months, you had imagined this moment in your mind, wondering what you would say when you finally got to see him again. He set his keys down on the entryway table before he turned around and faced you.
Familiar honey-colored irises studied you as if he was comparing the last time he had seen you to now.
“I shouldn’t have come,” you whispered, suddenly feeling like you were imposing on him.
Slowly, you walked backward out of the still-open door, resorting to the idea of never seeing him again. Until he spoke, “Please don’t leave me again.” His voice was soft, timid in a way you had never heard before.
You spun around and your lips parted in surprise. Tentatively, you stepped back toward him before you were right in front of him, inches apart, “I won’t.” It was a promise.
You weren’t sure who reached for who first, but the next moment your arms were slung around his neck and Spencer’s were around your torso, holding you so tightly that your feet lifted off the ground.
He’d bowed his head so that he could bury his face in the crook of your neck, whispering your name like a prayer that had been answered.
Propping your chin up on his shoulder, you took a deep breath, “I’m right here, Spence. I’m right here.” He was the same, and yet entirely different. Maybe more muscular, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. You opened your mouth to speak again, to tell him that you would never leave him again, not as long as he didn’t want you to.
Everything had changed in the past eight months; you knew you couldn’t make him that promise. That I’ll never leave you promise. It wasn’t real.
But Spencer was real. He was real and he was clutching you the way you were clutching you, his fingers digging into your skin so hard that you might bruise. “I got your letters,” you whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
You felt tears seep through your clothes as you took a deep breath and gently pried yourself away from him. “222 days,” he told you matter-of-factly. “I haven’t seen you in 222 days because you were in witness protection and you’re apologizing to me.”
“Of course, I’m apologizing to you. God, I left the program, and my marshal was like ‘Oh, by the way, here are hundreds of letters from your friends and your boyfriend wrote to you while you were gone. And just so you know, your boyfriend was in federal prison for the last three months.’” You took a few deep, uneven breaths. “What am I supposed to do with that, Spencer? Stop looking at me like that!”
He was smiling at you, his eyes were still watery, but he was giving you a doting smile even so, “I missed you.”
You dropped to a crouch at his words, and he followed you down. Those were the only words you had needed to hear over the last eight months. Meekly, you looked up at him, kneeling in front of you. When you left, Spencer had seemed like he was on top of the world, his mom had been accepted in that clinical trial, and the two of you had been talking more and more about your future. Now he seemed… heavier. A more burdened person. “I missed you so much,” you cried.
Reaching over to you, Spencer gently wiped the tears from your face before pulling you close to him, “You look as beautiful as you did the day I lost you.”
The two of you toppled over as a result of focusing on holding each other instead of balancing. He laid back on the floor, holding you close to him. You looked up, resting your chin on his shoulder, “You never lost me. You could never lose me. I always knew I’d come back; I always knew you’d get Scratch.”
“I didn’t, though,” he whispered, his voice tight with emotion.
You hummed, reaching up and cupping his cheek with your palm. “We’re here now, doesn’t that count for anything?”
Spencer pushed up so that he was being supported by his elbows, “That counts for everything.” He studied your face, “Where did that scar come from? It’s new,” he said, his voice still quiet, like you were an animal, and he was trying not to scare you away.
“Oh,” you murmured, “bashed my head on a door. Only me, right?” You brushed him off before clambering to your feet. What were you supposed to do now? Ask him if he wanted to talk? You used the sleeve of your jacket to wipe your nose. God, he had called you beautiful with snot running down your face. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered, staring at the floor. “I know, I know you’re going to say that I don’t have anything to apologize for, but I’m apologizing anyway. I’m sorry for leaving, I’m sorry that Morgan, my dad, and I all left within the same few months.”
He shook his head, “If you hadn’t gone, you’d most likely be dead now. I’d rather miss you for eight months than grieve you for a lifetime.”
You stepped away from him until you backed into the couch, “I thought about calling you. I had no idea that I wouldn’t have been able to. I just thought that-“
And just like that, he was kissing you. It was inevitable, just a question of who would make the first move. A small, shocked noise bubbled in your throat before you leaned into the kiss. It was gentle, tentative even. You gripped the lapels of his jacket as if he’d fade away, but you kissed him gently until he pulled away. “You showing up is the best thing to happen to me all year,” he murmured, sweeping your hair behind your ears. “You remain the most important person in my life.”
“Second most important,” you corrected. “How’s your mom?” Some of the information in his letters didn’t seem overly optimistic, mentioning him bringing her home to stay with him and a medication that he was getting in Mexico.
Spencer gave you a tight-lipped smile, “She’s good, I just went to see her with JJ, actually. She’s staying at a home in the district now.”
You smiled, “That’s good, keeping her close will be good for the both of you, I think.” Spencer reached around your body and pulled at your jacket, “What are you doing?”
“Taking your coat off in an attempt to coax you into staying,” he answered candidly.
Humming, you allowed him to pull the coat off of you, watching intently as he hung it on the coat rack. “Spence?” His name still felt foreign in your mouth as you moved to sit down on the couch.
He looked at you once he finished hanging his own coat, “Yeah?” Sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. A calculated decision, giving you space, but not sitting in a different chair.
“We should talk about it,” you responded, swallowing thickly. “All of it. Everything,” you continued. Millburn. Cat. Mr. Scratch.
Spencer went first, talking to you intently about what happened in that hotel room in Mexico. When he told you what Lindsay had done, you had to swallow your anger. Every once in a while, he’d trip over his words, and you encouraged him to take a break. You laid down on the couch and Spencer nestled in right next to you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck and enabling you to play with his hair.
Eventually, he told you about Scratch’s takedown. How Luke had watched him dangle from the ledge of that building before he fell to his death.
You sniffled at the end of his story, “I’ll have to thank Luke next time I see him.” You said, closing your eyes and reveling in your sense memory. The smell of his shampoo – tea tree – and the smell of his apartment – stale coffee and old books.
“Where were you?” He whispered, reaching up and skimming the scar on your forehead with his fingertips.
Slowly, you opened your eyes to find his brown ones watching you. “Minnesota,” You whispered, “St. Paul.” Taking a deep breath, you continued, “Then Sacramento, for a while.”
His brows furrowed, “Why did you leave St. Paul?”
You hesitated, afraid to speak about the event. One of the worst things to have ever happened to you, right on up there with the death of your mother. “My uh…” you cleared your throat, “my location was compromised.”
“Does it have anything to do with the scar?” The one you had lied to him about hours ago.
Shutting your eyes, you nodded almost imperceptibly, “It has everything to do with the scar.”
You could see him starting to put a story together on his own, there was a scar on your face that hadn’t been there last year. A scratch. “What happened?”
The memory was there, you wanted to bury it, but it would stick with you forever. The scar on your forehead would fade, but the scar on your soul was permanent. “I did it, I put the scar there,” you admitted. “I don’t know how he found me,” you whispered, that same feeling of defeat rising in your chest.
You were lucky that there was no one else in the house for you to hurt because if Peter Lewis had turned you into a murderer, it might’ve pushed you over the metaphorical edge. As you spoke to Spencer, you told him as much. You were in a bad place while you were in WITSEC.
The two of you remained curled up together in a mess of tears and limbs and fistfuls of shirts and the overwhelming fear of being separated. Looking at him simultaneously broke your heart and put it back together again. “Sacramento was nice, but I missed the East Coast,” you whispered.
“What about your dad?” Spencer asked softly. Part of you wondered if he wanted to go to sleep, it was dark outside now, but you couldn’t be bothered to check the time.
Nodding, you sniffled, “he’s in Philadelphia with Jack, has been the whole time. That’s where I’ve been, with them.”
Spencer lifted his head to look at you, “Where are you staying tonight?”
Sighing, you shifted on the couch, “In a hotel, I’m apartment hunting tomorrow.”
“No,” he said simply, a frown forming on his face.
You laughed lightly, “What do you mean ‘no’?”
He shook his head, “I mean don’t go apartment hunting tomorrow, stay here with me. Stay here tonight, too.” He said, voice bordering on pleading.
“Spencer, we were together for almost six years and never moved in together,” you told him, arching one brow in suspicion. You had talked about it, it just never seemed to happen.
He sat up fully, “I’m tired of making excuses about breaking leases and travel times, Y/N. There’s not enough time in life to keep avoiding it,” he gestured wildly with his hands as his voice slowly rose.
You tried to wrap your head around the idea, “I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through before making a decision this big.” Folding your hands in your lap, you noticed the first real change in him. This was impulsive.
“I spent three months in prison thinking about you!” He said loudly, “Sometimes that was the only thing that kept me going.” That was quieter like he realized how loud he was actually being. “I knew there was my mom, I knew there was the team, but seeing you again… that kept me going.” He studied your face and based on the emotions you were feeling you could only imagine what your expression was, “Is it me? Is it everything I told you that I did? The poison? Cat? Do you not love me anymore?”
Your breath hitched, “I love you. Of course, I still love you.” Finally, you saw it. He was different, but at the same time, he was still the boy who hid his feelings from you – afraid of upsetting your father. The two of you had a long way to go before you could be together in way you used to be, and maybe things would never be the same.
His shoulders slouched forward in relief, “then move in with me.”
Nodding, you leaned your head on his shoulder, “okay.” You took his hand in yours, expertly intertwining your fingers as if no time had passed. “Okay,” you whispered. It certainly didn’t hurt to try.
“And for the record,” he murmured, “I love you too.”
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saetoru · 2 years
Note
Imagine how funny it’s be if it was the “break up with my son” trope with rich boy gojo but instead of break up it’s his mother begging you to stay with him forever because he gets insufferably sad/annoying when you’re not around
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[ FINALS WEEK ] GOJO SATORU.
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“satoru.”
“please don’t leave me,” his voice is croaked, frail, broken. you roll your eyes—gojo has always had a knack for being the most dramatic person in the room, but you think of all his moments, this one might just take the cake.
“this is ridiculous—”
“please,” he even pretends to sniffle, and for a moment, you almost consider actually leaving him. “i’m nothing without you. empty with no meaning—”
“satoru, it’s just for this week,” you say flatly.
gojo has always been spoiled, and truth be told, you don’t hold yourself to the standards you’d like to be able to say you do in order to break the cycle. but really, it’s not your fault—his pout is rather dangerous, and he’s pretty damn good at whining, and he knows how to bat his lashes just right to get what he wants. this time, however, you’re determined. this time is strictly a no-giving-into-satoru time, and he can shed pretty tears all he wants, but you’re not relenting.
“what if you fall in love with someone else during our one week break up? i won’t make it if you do,” he gasps dramatically. you have to hand it to him—his ability in theatrics is at least persistent, even if quite a bit overdone sometimes.
“i’m sure your house would be peaceful then,” you snort. you can just picture the offended pout on his lips even though he’s not here, and you’re somewhat happy that he can’t see the smile you crack over the phone—that would only add to the drama, and he’s already a handful without the addition.
“baby, don’t do this,” he begs, making you sigh. 
it’s finals week. meaning all the days of class gojo has made you skip in order to coddle him (again, he’s very spoiled) will soon come back to really bite you in the ass while you have to make up for what you missed to pass your exams. meaning no gojo satoru will be allowed anywhere near your vicinity as an added distraction to keep you from studying. you know your boyfriend, and you know him well. you know that i promise i’ll just sit and be quiet will turn into his head resting in your lap, which will turn into pouts for your fingers to play with his hair, which will turn into complaints of boredom, which will all end with forced cuddles and an earful of his blabbering as he steals your attention. 
and you cannot afford a single failed final. 
so, with careful and deliberate consideration, you come up with your solution—which seems to have utterly broken your (painfully) spoiled boyfriend. no staying over the nights for a week is a very hard thing to grasp for rich and spoiled boyfriends who rarely hear the word no, apparently, and gojo is not taking the news lightly.
in fact, he seems to be taking the news a lot harder than you initially anticipated. never did you think a one week ban from sharing a bed with gojo so you can earn your degree would turn into his mother phoning you with a desperate plea to not break up with her son. it takes you by surprise, makes you stare at your phone with a double take to make sure you’re really talking to who you think you’re talking to—and that she’s really said what you think she’s said.
which begs the real question…where did the words break up even come from? and then you realize a certain somebody has exaggerated your rule for the week to something entirely new.
“satoru, you are entirely too much,” you groan, “one week of no sleepovers will not kill you. stop being bratty. and stop telling your mother i broke up with you, liar.”
“you practically are,” he huffs. “you don’t see me all day when you study. now you’re taking away the night too? just say you stopped loving me.” you scoff, and he pauses. “don’t actually say that, though,” he adds quickly.
“some of us have to pass,” you scowl, “i don’t have trust funds to swim in.”
“you can—”
“if you say i can spend your money, you might have to tell your mom we actually broke up.”
“so mean,” he whines, “well, why can’t i just sleep in your bed? i don’t even snore, i wouldn’t bother you,” he protests. he’s stubborn—which sometimes makes your heart flutter (like when he defends your honor to his snobby father) but sometimes (like now, for example) it’s enough to make you wish his lips would sew shut. permanently. 
“because,” you sigh exasperatedly, “you never sleep unless i’m in bed with you, and i’m going to stay up very late. stop being difficult—”
“i promise i’ll be good—”
“you are never good,” you accuse, narrowing your eyes. “and you break this promise every time. no sleepovers for this week until all my finals are over. and no more bothering your mom. got it?”
“but this time for real i’ll be good—”
“no, toru,” you say firmly, a hint of finality in your tone. it’s silent, and you can just imagine him deflating, and a small part of you feels just a little bad. “baby, i promise i’ll try to squeeze in some time every now in then, okay? we’ll meet for lunch or something.” you try to ease his conscience, but it doesn’t do much to persuade his sulkiness. 
“yeah, whatever,” he mumbles under his breath. 
a sulky gojo is a nightmare to deal with—you silently send your prayers to his mother for the next week, and you almost consider saving up for a fancy gift to offer her as an apology. but you also feel just a little bad for your sweet (though annoying) boyfriend. it’s at least the slightest bit endearing that he enjoys your company as much as he does, and you’d be lying if you say you don’t enjoy it just as much. 
so you relent—not fully though, you reason. “you can stay only the night,” you mutter, huffing as you hear his breath hitch with excitement, “and you have to stay in the living room until i’m ready to sleep.”
“i’ll tell my mom we’re back together,” he grins.
“we were never broken up!” you hiss as you pinch your nose, but before you can help yourself, there’s a light giggle that spills past your lips.
“she’ll be thrilled,” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes fondly. 
“cause it means you’ll leave the house to see me.”
“true,” he laughs this time, soft and sweet and enough to make you think spending nights with gojo this week isn’t the worst thing to happen. “i love you.”
“i know.”
“say it back—”
“okay bye. i have to study,” you grin as you cut him off, hanging up the line with a snicker.
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whytheylosttheirminds · 2 months
Text
I Remember Everything - Rafe Cameron (Chapter 2)
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Summary: You left the island two years ago, leaving the love of your life a shattered man in your wake. Now, when you return, you find the sweet boy you once loved has transformed into a monster of a man. How can you detangle the real Rafe from the terrible things he's done?
Timeline: begins toward the end of obx season 3 and is mostly canon.
Content: this story contains sexual content, alcohol and drug abuse, and brief mentions of violence. All chapters are 18+, minors do not interact!
(Prologue and Chapter 1)
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You tried to close the door quietly behind you, wincing everytime it creaked, but as you tiptoed through the foyer into the living room you quickly realized your stealth was of no use. Your mother sat in her chair in the corner of the room, flipping the page on whatever cheesy self-help book she was worshiping today. She looked up at you and then to the oversized clock on the wall pointedly.
“Really? Sitting up under a single lamp light?” You rolled your eyes. “What are you gonna say next, ‘where have you been young lady?’”
“Actually, I was just going to ask if you had a good night,” she said in her all-too-familiar-guilt-trip tone. “But since I’m apparently such a stereotype, maybe I should ask where you’ve been. I’ll be the overbearing mother you’ve made up in your head.”
You just sighed. “I’m not doing this with you, goodnight mom.”
“Don’t forget we’re having dinner at the island club tomorrow night!” She called after you. “Just you, me, and Chip.”
You winced. “I don’t know if the Island Club is really my vibe anymore, mom.”
“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “The other 51 weeks of the year, you are welcome to walk around like you’re better than all of us. But this week is my week and I want to have dinner at the Island Club with my daughter and my fiancé.”
In your twenty years on earth, you’d had approximately one million fights with your mother. You were wise enough by now to know which ones you were going to lose.
You sighed in defeat, “Alright mom, I’ll be there.”
Like she said, it was just one week and then you could get the hell out of here. Thinking of the night you just had with a pang of sadness, you thought, this time maybe for good.
Two Years Ago…
“Happy birthday, baby,” Rafe said, beaming.
“Rafe what did you do?” You asked.
“Got you something,” he shrugged, his casual tone betrayed by the big, bright smile on his face, his dimples on full display. He looked so excited it made your heart swell.
“You got me a car?” You said in disbelief.
“Not just a car, your dream car!” He extended his long arms, displaying the vehicle like a Price-is-Right model.
“You actually bought me a car?” You said quietly, shaking your head in awe.
“Do you like it?” He asked, now wringing his hands nervously. His sudden timidness made you weak, wanting to hold him in his vulnerability.
“Baby,” you said quietly before suddenly breaking out in a run toward him, leaping into his arms. Even in his surprise, he caught you, like he always did. 
You tucked your head into the crook of his neck as your arms and legs wrapped around him. He held you back so tightly, you thought he might never let go. 
“I love it,” you mumbled into his skin. “You have no idea.”
He pulled his head back to get a look at you. You had tears in your eyes as you beamed back at him.
“I love you,” you said before dropping a gentle kiss to his lips.
“You have no idea,” he said, before kissing you back harder. 
The kiss turned more passionate as he started walking the two of you toward the car, removing one hand from you to open the door to the back seat. He lowered you in slowly, both of you laughing into the kiss. You scooted backward to the other side of the back seat, pulling your legs to your chest to make room for him. For a moment, he just stood in the open door, taking you in. You giggled nervously under his hungry gaze.
“You gonna join me?” You asked, taunting him with the low, sexy voice you knew made him crazy.
“Just wanna look at you for a sec,” he explained. “Wanna remember.”
You leaned forward and started to crawl towards him, hands and knees sinking into the soft leather seat. 
“You have your whole life to look at me, baby,” you assured him. 
Once you were close enough to him, you stretched your neck forward and kissed him again, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him into the car with you. He gladly obliged and shut the door behind him. Once he was settled, you threw your leg over him and climbed in his lap, arms outstretched past either side of his head to hold onto the seat back behind him. 
“You're not gonna hit the road in the middle of the night and leave me here now that you’ve got your own ride?” He asked, close enough to your lips that you could feel his breath sweep across them as he talked.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised. “Unless you’re in the seat right next to me.”
You leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled back before your lips met. You furrowed your brows in confusion.
“I got you another gift,” Rafe said.
“Rafe,” you said, “you already got me a car. I don't know what could possibly top that.”
Removing one of his hands from your hips, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a little black box.
“Open it and find out,” he held the box out to you.
With wide eyes, you took what was clearly a jewelry box from him and opened it slowly. Rafe reached up to turn on the car light so you could better see what was inside. It was a dainty gold ring, twisting around itself to make a small knot right in the middle. It was simple, but so beautiful.
“It’s a promise ring,” he explained.
You watched him watching you, realizing he was nervous, afraid you were about to reject his gesture. You could tell by the look on his face that he had more he was struggling to say, so you silently reached out your hand and placed it on his cheek, letting him know you were listening, that he was safe.
He nuzzled his head into your soft hand and closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. After a moment, he opened them into yours and took a deep breath.
“You are…everything,” he said, eyebrows knit together in sincerity. As if he could somehow look at you hard enough to make you understand. “I don’t care what our parents say, or what all the people on this fucking island say, you are it for me, y/n. I will love you forever. Even if they cut us off, if we have no money and have to live out of the back of this car, I don’t care, I want you. Forever.”
He searched your face for any sign that you’d reject him, or laugh at his earnest desperation. You’d never treated him like that before, but he had been raised to believe that vulnerability was weakness, and even with all the loyalty you’ve shown him, he couldn’t fight the thought that when he told you what he was really feeling, you’d shoot him down.
Instead, you simply said, “Well, am I going to have to put it on myself?”
He laughed, relief spreading through his chest. He took the box from you and removed the ring, slipping it on your left ring finger before placing a kiss over it.
You grabbed his face with both hands and looked at him hard, praying he’d believe you when you swore, “I will love you forever, Rafe Cameron.”
His lower lip flinched slightly as he fought back the tears he could feel springing up. He kissed you quick, hoping you didn’t notice. You did notice, but you kissed him back to take his mind off of it, knowing how much he hates crying in front of people. You slid your hands back to tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging gently in appreciation as he moved his lips to your neck. 
“Don’t leave any marks,” you whined. “My mom…”
“You’re 18 now, baby, she can’t do shit,” he mumbled before going back to sucking on the tender spot at the base of your neck. 
“Yeah, except stop feeding me and kick me out of the house,” you protested, though not exactly pushing him away.
“Like I said, we’ll just live in this car,” he joked. 
“Or,” you said, pulling back from him to separate his lips from your skin before it could change color, “you could leave your mark somewhere she can’t see.”
With those words, you lifted your shirt over your head. Rafe watched hungrily, your words and movements making him grow harder than he already was. You smirked as you pressed down on him, making him hiss. Eyes locked to his, you reached back to unclasped your bra, letting the straps slide away as you revealed yourself to him slowly.
“Fuck,” he whispered as he took you in. He’d seen you naked countless times now, but the way he always looked at you like it was the very first time was the hottest thing in the world to you. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” With those words, he sunk his head down and started pressing gentle kisses to the top of your breasts. 
“I love when you talk to me like that, baby,” you gasp and arch your back as he captures the sensitive skin just above your nipple between his lips and starts sucking, taking you up on your suggestion to mark you somewhere no one will see. 
 You grab the back of his neck for stability, lightly letting your painted nails sink into his skin, the blissful pain of it making his hips buck up into yours. You moan as his length presses perfectly against your clit. You’re so wet you wonder if it's soaked through to his jeans yet.
“You like this?” He asked before releasing his lips and sinking into a spot on your other breast to add to the masterpiece he was leaving on your skin.
“I love it,” You answered.
“It’s your day, baby, just wanna make you feel good,” he told you.
“You always make me feel good,” you whimpered as you continued to writhe on him.
He pulled his mouth from you suddenly and moved his hands to your ass, holding you up so you couldn’t push down on him anymore. You pouted slightly, and he smirked at your neediness. 
“Today’s all about you,” he said. He moved you off of him and laid you down on the seat, kneeling so he could hover over you. He caged you in with an arm at either side of your head. You twisted your neck to look at his arm, admiring the veins that ran up the side, committing the sight to memory. You loved everything about your boyfriend’s body, but something about his arms really drove you wild. Impulsively, you leaned over and placed a kiss on the inside of his forearm, loving how soft his skin was. 
The gentleness of the moment made his skin break out in goosebumps and he looked down at you with hearts in his eyes. The only thing in the world he wanted at that moment was to make you feel how in love with you he is, so he lowered himself between your legs and got to work on your third gift of the day.
Now…
Rafe had two meetings today to sell some of the melted gold, both of which went exactly how he’d hoped. He didn’t understand how the high from the sale could wear off so quickly. So, like most nights, he found himself at the Island Club bar, three bourbons deep. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the conversation he just had with Topper about Sarah not answering his calls. 
“What a cuck,” he said to himself under his breath. 
Little did he know that just a few yards away, inside the club dining room, the girl he used to regularly ditch all of his friends for was sitting down to dinner.
You liked Chip just fine, he was a deputy at the sheriff’s department and though you had never been a huge fan of cops, he seemed to genuinely care about helping people. He made your mom happy, and she appears to have worked through some of the anxiety issues she had in your teens, which you were grateful for.
Even though you were tucked in a dark corner of the Island Club dining room, you and your mother still clocked all of the stares from nosy neighbors, wine moms, and kids you grew up with. It was like an Elvis sighting, after the wildfire of rumors that had engulfed the island after your disappearance two years ago. Chip, however, seemed to be none the wiser to your storied past. You didn’t know if your mom had told him all that had happened, and you kind of hoped she wouldn’t. He seemed like a simple guy with a simple view of the world, and you’d appreciate it if your mom would let him stay that way.
Chip was telling a story about one of his coworkers getting their arm stuck in the vending machine, when a commotion from outside the restaurant cut him off.
“I pay just as much as all of you assholes!” A man’s voice bellowed through the open windows.
Your heart froze and you closed your eyes, recognizing the voice immediately. When you looked up, you caught your mother’s glare, she had apparently placed the voice, too. 
A glass shattered, followed by the voice yelling, “take your fucking hands off me, douche bag!”
“I’m just going to…” you set your napkin on the table and pushed your chair back.
“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “We’re having dinner.”
“I’m just going to make sure everything is okay,” you said, hoping she didn’t realize that you were trying to convince yourself you had a reason to go out there just as much as you were trying to convince her. 
“You’re not here for him,” she said. “You’re supposed to be here for me, for your family.”
Chip’s eyes darted quickly back and forth between you and your mother, totally lost. The two of you gave each other a look that clearly had years of history behind it, and he decided he might want to just stay in the dark.
“I’ll be right back,” you said definitively, standing from the table. Your mother sipped her wine bitterly as she watched you go.
You made your way out onto the patio, following the booming of Rafe’s voice over to the bar. He was face-to-face with another member, a middle aged man who was jabbing his finger into Rafe’s chest as he yelled at him.
“Everyone here is just trying to have a nice evening and you’re over here running your mouth,” the man spat.
Rafe shoved the man’s hand away from him and looked to the much younger woman who was standing behind him.
“I’m sorry for ruining your date with grandpa here, sweetheart,” he joked loudly. “If you ever want to be with a guy who can get it up without a truckload of Viagra, you give me a call, gorgeous.”
The man shoved Rafe and he stumbled backward, laughing, clearly drunk.
“Woah there cowboy,” Rafe chuckled. “We wouldn’t want to make a scene, now would we?”
He was being smug, dripping with arrogance, and it was making you sick. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You thought this time you’d be able to confront him, try to understand why he was treating people like this, but the twist of your stomach forced you away from the scene as you fled from the patio towards the beach.
Rafe was about ready to cock his fist back, too drunk to care about escalating the situation further, when he saw it again - a flash of long hair and a flowing skirt disappearing from view. He suddenly felt completely sober. He patted the guy on the back and threw back the last of his drink before following the mysterious figure down to the beach. 
You stood at the edge of the water, doubled over with your heels in your hand, trying desperately to catch your breath. Maybe your mother was right, maybe you should just keep your head down and act like the only thing that matters to you on this island is her wedding. But both of you knew that wasn’t true, that it could never be true, not when he’s here. Not when something has clearly changed him, and you can’t sleep at night not knowing what horrible thing could’ve happened to make him behave this way. Just because you buried your love for him, didn’t mean the ghost of it had stopped haunting you.
You composed yourself and decided to go back to dinner. You’d fake your way through the rest of the week. You’d lie low, send your mother on her honeymoon, and finally get off this island for good. But when you turned back toward the club, he was there. Standing ten-feet away, just watching you.
“It is you,” he whispered, the wind knocked out of him from the shock of seeing your face in the moonlight.
“Hi, Rafe,” you say, but it doesn’t come out in the confident, casual way you had practiced for the last two years, preparing for the moment you’d inevitably see him again. Instead it’s meek, shaking with your unstable breath.
“What are you…” Rafe is speechless. For just a moment, he’s that soft, insecure boy you used to know. The boy you loved, who loved you desperately in return. He must catch the faint smile you can’t hold back, because his mouth slams shut and his jaw clenches. His wide eyes become steeley again as his shield flies back up.
“What are you doing here?” He practically spits.
“My mom is getting married,” you say, no smile gracing your lips anymore. “I thought you would’ve heard.”
“Been busy,” he shrugs. “Believe it or not I have actual shit going on.”
You chuckle humorlessly, “I can tell.”
“The fuck’s that ‘sposed to mean?” He takes an angry step towards you.
“Just the way you were talking back there, and at your party the other night,” you say. “Looks like you’re the big man now.”
It was you at the party. Rafe shakes his head in disgust, this is the final confirmation he needed to make-up his mind about whether he’s pissed at you. He’d prepared for this moment too, not sure if when he saw you again, he’d want to kiss you or kill you. Right now he was leaning toward the latter.
“Yeah, maybe I am,” Rafe says. “Now that I don’t have all of you holding me back.”
There’s a flash of something you can’t quite place in his eyes. For just a moment, he’s not here, like he’s losing a battle to stay in the moment. You wonder what kind of demons are roaring in his mind. You wish you didn’t want so desperately to exorcise them.
“All of us?” You repeat his words back to him, wondering who else joins you in the club of people Rafe Cameron now hates. You look him up and down with soft, sad eyes. 
“What happened to you, Rafe?”
“I don’t have to fucking explain myself to you, Y/N,” your name shoots off his tongue like a bullet, nothing like the way he used to coo it in worship when he held you, or moan it in awe when he was inside of you. “Why don’t you just fuck off back to wherever you’ve been. You don’t belong here anymore.”
You just look at him, head tilted as your narrow eyes size him up in a way that makes him feel like an exposed nerve. You know the second you get home tonight, the tears will come, but right now you put on a stoic demeanor to match his own. This was the opposite of the reunion you had dreamed of. You thought you’d be back in the arms of the person who knew you better than anyone in the world, but instead you stand face-to-face with a total stranger.
You start to walk back up the beach in his direction, noticing the way his Adam's apple bobs as you get closer to him. Once you’re next to him, you look up into the blue eyes that you used to imagine your kids would have someday. So many things you’d wanted to say, hundreds of letters never sent, millions of tiny memories you’d hold onto forever, but now, with his frame looming over you, all you could think to say was,
“I hate your hair.”
And for the third time this week, he stood breathless as he watched you disappear.
(chapter 3)
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a/n: THANK YOU so much for all the support on chapter one, I am actually blown away I did not think so many people would enjoy my words!! Special thank you to bestie @nadvs for all the inspo and advice!!! 🫶🫶🫶
taglist: @maybankslover @dark1paradise @lmg-stilinski24 @idkdudsworld @mimipanini09 @patis643 @readingsmuts
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papercorgiworld · 5 months
Text
It started with a book
A Mattheo Riddle love story
Mattheo Riddle x Hufflepuff!Reader
The reader is a total bookworm and has a crush on Mattheo. For a summary check the request.
Warning: bullying, foul language and kissing
Picture source: https://pin.it/4HBHs0yxy
I’ve never written about a Hufflepuff reader before, I know that’s very Slytherin of me, but I really hope I did justice to our kind and hardworking Hufflepuffs.
I. Books and lifesavers
You were sitting in the quietest corner of the library and had just finished your essay on gillyweed. You reached for your newest novel, happy to finally dig into the book after finishing all your work. You scan the book in every way possible, adoring the illustrations and paper, but when you finally start the first sentence you’re interrupted.
“No, it should be here somewhere. It’s about conjuration, so this section.” You heard Mattheo’s voice explain, before he appeared next to your table looking at the books on the shelves. Your eyes shot up at him, but he was too focused on the books to even notice you. Your eyes immediately dropped back to your book when you saw Draco. “How would you know? You’ve never set foot in this place.” He snarls at his friend. Mattheo just rolls his eyes as his finger moves over the different titles. “Elemental Structure and Duration… Element-” You heard Mattheo mutter to himself and you looked back up from your book, watching him as he focussed on the books. “It’s Theory of Elemental Structure and Duration.” You suddenly blur and get up from your seat. Mattheo and Draco look surprised, like you had shown up out of nowhere. “Eavesdropping are we?” Draco snares and your heart sinks as they both stare at you. “No, I-I just, the book- it’s over here, somewhere.” You stutter as your face reddens. Mattheo throws Draco a dirty look and Draco just raises his eyebrows in defence.
Mattheo watching you stammer.
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You quickly turn away from them and take a few steps towards a different bookcase. You panic a bit when you don’t immediately find it, but after a few seconds you spot it. “Here you go.” You hold the book in Mattheo’s direction, who carefully watches you before taking it. “Great, thanks. You’re a lifesaver.” A nervous laugh rolls over your lips as your eyes lock with Mattheo’s, but he quickly turns away and with a small wave they disappear. Yup, the cutest guy at Hogwarts just called me a lifesaver. You can’t help but bite your lip trying to contain your smile. “Well of course she knew where the book was, she looks like she bloody lives in this library.” Draco’s loud voice makes you wish you had kept your mouth shut instead of helping them. I’m such an idiot.
Time skip: a few weeks later.
II. Deadlines and crushes
Mattheo enters the slytherin common room exhausted and ready to blow off some steam. “Astronomy tower anyone?” Theo answers his friend's question by simply raising his hand and reaching for his cigarettes on the table. “Where have you been all day? We’ve been waiting for you?” Blaise questions. “The library. Apparently, I’ve missed three essays this month. Sluggy says that I can make up for it by writing one long one about Felix Felicis. If I miss tomorrow’s deadline, no quidditch for a month.” Draco’s eyes fill with panic. “I bloody hope you’ve finished that essay or you’re not heading up to the astronomy tower.” Blaise laughs at Draco’s dramatics. “Okay there, Matt’s mom.” Mattheo shakes his head. “Don’t worry, I only have to write two more paragraphs but I brought the book with me.” After a moment Mattheo's eyes widened. “The book!”. Without another word he sprints to the library hoping he’ll get there before it closes.
“Urgh.” You groan as you drop your books for the third time since you’d left the library. Clearly there was such a thing as too many books. While picking them up you spot Mattheo running towards the closed door of the library. “Fuck!” He screams with obvious frustration and without a second thought he pulls out his wand and points it at the door. “No! It’s enchanted, you can’t and also they will know.” You startle Mattheo with your sudden interruption and he lowers his wand. “Yeah, well, I don’t care, I really need my book.” When he raises his wand again, you step in front of him. “A book about what?” Even though your heart is racing, there’s something calm about you that has Mattheo surrender. “Felix Felicis.” You feel yourself get all giddy knowing that you have exactly what he needs.
He helps you carry your books as you both make your way to the Hufflepuff common room. “You’re a real nerdy one, aren’t you?” Mattheo asks you somewhat tactlessly. You smile at his bluntness. “I prefer ‘book enthusiast’.” He raises his eyebrows, making you laugh. “Nerd.” He sings and you give him a playful push. “Do you still want your book?” You tease and he smiles, adoring you. “Well of course, my apologies dear book enthusiast.” With bright smiles on your faces you enter the Hufflepuff common room, making everyone look up in surprise. There’s some awkward shuffling between you two as you try to take the books he was holding for you. “I’ll be back in a minute.” You leave Mattheo standing in the Hufflepuff common room seriously wondering what you Hufflepuffs were thinking when you decorated the place.
“Tadaah.” You say as you hand him your book on potions. “There’s two chapters on Felix Felicis, Slugghurn advised me to buy this book so you’ll definitely score points using this.” Mattheo’s eyes light up. “You’re again a lifesaver, princes, I won’t forget this.” Princess? And, he remembers me from the library. “I’ll return it to you tomorrow afternoon.” You watch him walk away and when you turn around and spot Cedric you curse yourself for staring like a lovestruck fool. He comes up to you, trying to hide his smile, but failing. “You alright there tomato face?” You force your lips into a line and look up at him. “Yeah, I’m just helping him out by lending him a book, since the library was closed.” He nods pretending to be convinced. “Uhuh, but still watch out, he’s still Mattheo Riddle.” You nod and make your way to your dorm.
III. Acts of love
The next day Mattheo had returned your book and ended up walking you to class, which had you walking on sunshine for the rest of the day, but I didn’t stop there. When he caught you staring during transfiguration you looked away blushing. However, when you looked back up after a moment he was still staring back at you with a sweet smile. When you sink back into your book you hear Mcgonagall. “Mister Riddle, if you could please give your book as much attention as you give your fellow students that would be much appreciated.” Theo, who sat next to Mattheo, couldn’t help but snicker. “That obvious?” Mattheo asked. Theo nodded. “Yes, that obvious.”
Mattheo would hold the door open for you and wink. “Did Riddle just wink at you?” Hermoine frowned. “Uhm, no, I just helped him with a book once… or twice.” Hermoine raised an eyebrow and looked at Harry, who also thought your answer was a bit off.
The next few weeks, he would come over to help you whenever he saw you carry more than three books and walk you to your class or to your common room. It was starting to get obvious to those around you two that something was going on. “Why don’t you just ask her out?” Theo took a long drag from his cigarette and looked at his friend. Mattheo’s first instinct was to play dumb but he knew that was pointless with Theodore. “I’m working up to it.” Mattheo stated and Theo laughed. “I’ve never seen you work this hard in your life.” Mattheo rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but I guess I’ve never had the motivation to work for something like this.” Theo stared at the cigarette in his hand. “Then don’t ever let go of her.” Mattheo swore to take that advice to heart when he nodded.
IV. Bullies and kisses
“This is a library, please just lower your voices a bit.” You had softly asked an overly noisy group when you were studying. They had just laughed and eventually the librarian threw them out because someone else had complained.
You were on your way to the great hall for dinner when you heard some people laugh. “This is a library, please just lower your voices.” One of the noisy guys from earlier mocked you. Panic filled your eyes as you saw two of them walk up to you. “Care to share your notes?” One of them joked and tried to snatch your notebook from your hands, but you held onto it tightly. You tugged hard and took a few steps back trying to get him let go of it. When he looked over your shoulder and noticed that you were close to the stairs he let go of it and you stumbled back, falling a few stairs and hitting your face. You heard people laugh and you felt like half of Hogwarts was there. Your eyes were watery, but only when Ginny came running up to you did the tears start to roll over your cheeks. She wrapped an arm around you, held your stuff and walked you to the great hall.
It was Hermoine’s harsh voice that made Mattheo look up to you. “What happened?” Hermoine almost shouted and Mattheo’s entire demeanour changed when he saw your teary face, but he stayed seated at the slytherin table. When Hermoine made you lower your hand from your face, revealing a bruise on your perfect face, Mattheo felt his heart ache like never before. “That bastard made her fall off the stairs.” Mattheo carefully followed Ginny’s finger and his eyes landed on some snickering low life. You were surrounded by your friends and hadn’t seen Mattheo’s fuming figure get up from his seat and walk towards the door of the great hall.
The two assholes were laughing at your crying, while casually leaning against the door when Mattheo grabbed the one that Ginny had pointed to by the collar and dragged him out of sight, so the professor wouldn’t see what came next. “Picking on Hufflepuffs, that’s your game? Bet you didn’t expect to have me in your face?” Mattheo raged on with eyes full of hatred. Despite the attempts of the second douchebag trying to hold Mattheo back, he managed to punch him. The guy fell to the floor and Mattheo dragged him to nearby stairs. “How about I push you off of these?” Blaise was the one who reached Mattheo first and held him back long enough for the two bullies to leave. “Think about the next quidditch game, mate. If you get caught fighting, you’ll get detention for the whole week.” Mattheo pushed himself free. “Like I care.” Mattheo turned around looking for something or someone to punch. “They took her to madam Pomfrey. Apparently, her wrist was hurting as well.” Enzo spoke softly. “You should go see her.” Blaise urged and Mattheo calmed down, nodding.
Pomfrey had just bantaged your wrist when you spotted Mattheo leaning against the doorframe. He looked a bit pained to you so you immediately thanked Pomfrey and walked over to Mattheo. “You alright?” You asked, making him chuckle. “You’re a weird one, you know that right?” Seeing your confused face he explains himself. “You’re the one in the infirmary, but somehow you’re concerned about me?” A sheepish smile takes over your lips. “You just look a little sad.” He shakes his hand and wraps his arm around you, walking you to your common room. “Don’t worry, I’m fine now. Let’s stop by the kitchens and then settle in that weird looking common room of yours.” You frown and narrow your eyes at him, a soft smile playing on your lips. “Weird looking?” Mattheo looked at you and fell in love with you even more. Soft, red eyes from crying, a bruise and a bandaged wrist, but still by far the most beautiful person.
“You sure you're alright?” You tilt your head a little as you scan his face, but he just shamelessly continues staring at you. Your cheeks heat up when you notice him lean in. Suddenly all your nerves calm and your hand rests on his chest as your lips meet. He places a hand on the small of your back and pushes you into him. His warmth and strong arms make you relax even more. Your hand sneaks up to the back of his neck, where you carefully play with a few strands of hair. As sweet as he tries to keep the kiss, there’s obvious fire and hunger in it. This has definitely been on his mind as much as it has been on yours.
V. Secrets and good books
You turn the page of your book. “No, wait, I wasn’t finished yet.” You groan and tilt your head to face Mattheo, whose arms are around you, as you both lay in bed. “You’re a slow reader.” He frowns. “No, I’m not, but in case you haven’t noticed there’s a pretty girl in my arms and that’s distracting.” You can’t keep yourself from smiling and blushing. Cheeky bastard, giving me compliments and stuff, so annoying, those damn Slyterins. Reluctantly you turn the page back, but at the same time you lean into him purposely distracting him. His eyes immediately lock with yours and you can’t help but giggle. He rolls over so you’re under him and he starts mercilessly attacking you with kisses, but suddenly you hear something. You push Mattheo off of you. “I hear something, someone’s coming. Quick, hide in here.” Without another thought you push the dark lord’s son into your closet.
Mattheo when he realises a Hufflepuff just forced him into a closet and now he has to listen to Hermione rant about Ron.
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“Merlin! Ron’s the worst!” Hermione slams the door open and starts ranting for 10 minutes straight. It takes a lot of work and lame excuses to get her out of your room. When you finally manage to get her out, Mattheo doesn’t waste a second to open the closet door. “Ron is such an ass.” Mattheo says with a ridiculous voice, making you shake your head. “Also, wear this to the party tonight.” He says holding a dress he had found in your closet while he was in there. “Please.” He pouts.
VI. This one’s taken
“Honestly, hiding in a hufflepuff closet from Granger, was a situation I never expected to find myself in.” Mattheo said as he passed the bottle of firewhiskey to Theodore who was still grinning after hearing Mattheo’s story. “How long are you going to keep this a secret?” Mattheo just shrugged, he hadn’t really thought about it. Mattheo hadn’t spotted you at the party, but he knew you were here somewhere so his eyes kept scanning the room for your perfect figure.
Cedric stood next to you when he swung his arm around your neck and leaned in while pointing at a guy he started hanging out with a few weeks ago. “This is Liam.” You smile politely to the guy that Cedric’s pointing at as you continue to gently move with the music. “Nice to meet you.” Cedric lets go of you and his spot is filled by the new guy. Liam is definitely a fun guy, he’s interested in books and gives you tips on ideal reading spots. However, he’s not Mattheo and your eyes can’t help but search for your boyfriend.
“Damn, should we tell Matt?” Draco asks Blaise, oblivious to the fact that Theo and Mattheo are standing behind him. “Tell me what?” Draco’s eyes widen and he curses himself. Blaise points towards you and Liam. “That mcflirty is hanging out with your girl.” Mattheo finally finds you in the crowd and he instantly feels himself boil up. Liam’s hand doesn’t touch you yet but it's hovering over your lower back, while his lips are dangerously close to your face as he’s talking to you. Mattheo feels himself cool down a bit when he sees you take a step away from the guy and lean towards Luna. “Remember what your girl said Riddle, a week of no sex for every punch you throw.” Mattheo rolls his eyes, but then continues to watch you dance in that cute dress he had told you to wear.
When Mattheo hears the music change he downs his drink and walks over to you. You don’t see him approaching since your back is turned towards him, but when you suddenly feel a chest against you and a warm breath in your neck you immediately know it’s him. You tilt your head and he plants a soft kiss on your cheek, while his hands snake around your body. “I think it’s time we stop sneaking around. I would hate it if some guy got the wrong idea.” He whispers into your ear and your eyes shoot up to Liam, who clearly wasn’t pleased. Mattheo on the other hand is very pleased. He pushes his crotch against your ass and his hands move to your hips, while he continues to kiss your neck until you turn to face him and he catches your lips with his.
Hermione’s eyes roll between you and her drink, wondering what she drank to see what she's seeing right now. “I always thought they looked cute together.” Luna blurs. “Wicked.” The Weasley twins sing as they watch your little public make-out. “I’m pretty sure all of Hogwats will know about us by tomorrow.” You say when Mattheo finally releases your lips. He can’t help but smirk when he sees all eyes are on you. “Good. Then let’s go, because I like that dress on you, but princes it’s going to look even better on my bedroom floor.” He spins you around and picks you up, you immediately wrap your legs around him, while kissing him.
Word count: 2950
This was not proofread. If you spotted an error, let me know. Lovies!
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rose-pearls · 5 months
Text
Healing one cut at a time
Summary : Clarisse first goes to the med bay because she is forced by one of her siblings but the following times are just to see the daughter of Apollo again.
Requests are open!
Main Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989
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“I told you; I am fine!”, you can hear someone grumble from behind you but you turn back to the twelve-year-old girl in front of you that had fallen and twisted her ankle.
“And I am telling you that you should just go to make sure it is fine,” as you turn around to find what the squabbling is all about, you find Clarisse and one of her brothers glaring at each other.
You couldn’t help but swallow hard at the sight of Clarisse, she had her hair down after capture the flag, and somehow still looked beautiful after running around for three hours.
Clearing your throat, you smiled awkwardly at the two Ares children who looked surprised at your sudden appearance.
“How can I help you?”, you ask softly, after a few seconds of awkward silence. Clarisse seems struck as she watches you with wide eyes, her brother has a smirk as he turns back to you.
“Right, this one was hurt during capture the flag and although it doesn’t look too bad, we just wanted to be sure.”, he says, and you can see Clarisse coming back to herself at her brother’s words.
“You wanted to be sure,” she says with a scowl on her lips, and even then, you can’t stop thinking that she looks stunning.
“Well let’s just make sure, we never know,” you tell them before nodding towards the small bed in the corner.
She doesn’t look so hurt, so you’re surprised to see a cut in her leg, probably done by a sword but she doesn’t look affected at all.
“The good news is that it doesn’t look too deep so I just need to disinfect it and it will be all new after that,” you tell the two as you look over the cut.
As you look up from the wound you see a wide-eyed Clarisse staring back at you, rosy cheeks and owlish brown eyes making your stomach flutter.
“Great!”, you hear suddenly as her brother claps in his hands making the both of you jump in surprise.
“I’ll go get the product.”, you quickly whisper, feeling slightly embarrassed at having been caught looking at the girl.
You can hear the both of them arguing, particularly Clarisse scowling her brother, while he seems far too happy to be in the med bay.
“Someone needs to push you,” you hear him say before you arrive and the both of them turn to you, their conversation suddenly over.
“Hope I’m not interrupting,” you can’t help but say and the both of them shake their heads in disagreement.
“You didn’t!”, her brother says, and you nod slowly before taking the product and softly taking Clarisse leg in your hand.
“This might hurt a little,” you warn her even though you know that the girl will probably not show any type of weakness.
You whisper a few words under your breath as you pass the product on her cut and after a moment it starts healing itself.
“There you go, all new,” you say, and Clarisse seems a bit disappointed at the sight.
“Right, thank you I guess.”, she says after clearing her throat.
“Thank you for the help! We better get going,” he says before taking Clarisse with him, the girl looking back one last time with a timid smile, one that you would’ve never thought you would see Clarisse wearing. 
--
She was being stupid, she knew it, hell her whole cabin knew it too, but she just couldn’t stop going to see you at the med bay. She would use every excuse possible, hoping to catch a glimpse of you and you sweet smile.
“Clarisse, what happened this time?”, she hears you ask, your voice like music to her ears.
“My idiot of a brother didn’t watch where he was throwing his arrow,” she says, feeling slightly ashamed of the fact that she had been here every day until you smile at her warmly.
“Come sit down, I’ll look over it,” she does as is said and can’t help but feel a little excited at the prospect of you taking care of her. 
She didn’t want to feel weak, and the way she felt weak at your touch made her scared, but she couldn’t help coming back and having your whole attention solely focused on her. Her father would probably be telling her that she was weak but when you would talk with her softly, as to not disturb the sleeping children, she couldn’t help but forget all about him.
“You’re beautiful,” she realizes she has said the words before she can think not to say them. There is a loud silence, as you look at her slightly in shock, like a fish out of water.
You open your mouth to say something but before she let’s you have the opportunity to respond she fled the scene. Her face is hot with shame and embarrassment at her slip up, already making a plan at how to best escape the situation, and you specifically. That is until she feels a hand on her arm, making her turn around to face you.
You look slightly breathless from having ran after her, but you still look as beautiful as the first day she had seen you. She had fallen for you the moment she saw you; her siblings had quickly caught onto her crush and as much as they teased her, they would often tell her in the quiet of the night that she should go for it, go for the little sunshine that she could have. 
“You often leave a conversation without letting the other person answer?”, she hears you say, making her look at you in surprise.
“Guess I didn’t know how you would react,” she can’t help but say as she looks into your sad eyes.
“Well, maybe if you had stayed a bit longer you could have heard my response,” you say with a soft smile.
“What is that?”, the curiosity is killing her, but she also feels scared for the first time in a long time. 
“That I think that you are beautiful, probably a thousand more times than me,” she hears you say, and she suddenly feels breathless at your words but can’t help but disagree with a scoff.
“Please, you are the most beautiful woman, even Aphrodite herself would be jealous of your beauty,” the words are filled with passion, a passion that she usually only held for fighting and capture the flag. The surprise in your eyes make her feel suddenly shy, but as you get closer to her, she gets a whiff of your perfume making her relax slightly.
“That is probably not true but thank you,” you whisper, now closer to her than you have been before, but she still scoffs as she hears you disagree with her previous statement.
She gets ready to argue but before she can start, she feels your lips against hers, and for a moment she can’t think. Her stomach is bursting with butterflies and the smell of you is all around her.
Just as she feels you stopping the kiss, she wraps her hands around your cheeks, bringing you into a passionate kiss, hoping to make you understand everything she feels for you.
“You drive me crazy, sunshine,” she whispers, breathless, after the most dizzying kiss and she wants to kiss you again until she has no air in her lungs.
Your small giggle makes her smile and peck your lips softly.
“Who knew you could be so sweet La Rue,” she hears you whisper teasingly against her lips, and she can’t help but roll her eyes at your words.
“Only for you. Better keep this to yourself because it could ruin my reputation,” she says, a small warning in her voice but you just nod in agreement.
“We should go back to the med bay to look at that cut of yours,” she hears you say, a worried tone coating your words.
“Don’t worry beautiful, I’m fine. The only thing I need right know is you close to me and kisses,” she says as she brings you even closer by the waist, with a smirk as she sees you blushing.
“That can be arranged,” you whisper against her lips before she brings you back into another mind-blowing kiss.
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cameronspecial · 8 months
Text
Let Me Protect You, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings:  Mentions of Death
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.7K
Summary: Rafe's only mission in life is to protect his girlfriend.
Masterlist
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Rafe has a few rules when it comes to being his girlfriend and he always gets upset at Y/N when she doesn’t use them. One of those rules: be careful with your beverages. The multiple drinks Y/N has drank over the night have built up in her bladder, so nature is now calling to her. The only problem is she doesn’t know where to leave her drink. Luckily, she spots Rafe’s tall figure in the crowd. She pushes her way to him and taps his shoulder. “Hey, Angel. What’s wrong? Are you ready to go?” he worries, checking her over for any wounds. She shakes her head and holds her drink out to him, “Nothing is wrong, I just need to pee. Can you please hold my drink?” 
The glassy look in his eye gets blinked away as he grabs onto her drink. His long fingers round the top of the cup, so his palm is covering the opening of the drink. “Of course I can. I would be more than happy too. Let me walk you to the bathroom and check to make sure no one is hiding out in there,” he offers, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and taking her to the bathroom line. Nobody would’ve guessed that Rafe is so protective of his girlfriend. It makes Y/N giggle at how cute he gets when he takes her safety seriously. 
——
Another one of Rafe’s rules: always tell him when she is cold. The winter breeze snips at her nose and she wrinkles her nose to try and heat it up. This action doesn’t go unnoticed by Rafe. He gives her a disapproving look, “Rule number four, Angel.” She doesn’t need him to say anything more because she already has the rules memorized. “Rafe, I’m cold. Could you please give me your jacket?” she grovels. He grins at her words and takes it off immediately. He hands it over to her, “Absolutely, it’s what I am here for. Are you okay with staying in line by yourself for a second? I’m going to get my extra jacket in the car.” It really doesn’t surprise her that he keeps an extra jacket for moments like this. “Thank you for the jacket. And I’m okay with waiting. Why didn’t you just give me the extra one though?” she questions, fiddling with the bottom of his jacket. 
He gives her a kiss, “Because I always wear a jacket that matches your outfit when we go out just in case I need to give it to you. The one in my car is merely a random one.” Her heart flutters at the thought he puts into everything he does for her. 
——
The rules that Y/N likes to contest are the one that also regards his safety. They exit the bookstore side by side with bags of books in hand. As they walk down the sidewalk to the parking garage, she moves herself to the opposite side of Rafe. Before she can process it, she is back on the other side of Rafe again. They go through this charade again. “Why can’t I be the one that protects you from getting hit by a car?” she pouts, trying to get back on the side closest to the road. He tuts her head and moves her back, “Because I am your boyfriend and it is my job”
“Well, why can’t it be my job to protect you as your girlfriend?” 
He shakes his head at her words, “Let me protect you, Angel. If something happened to me, you would be able to live on without me. If something happened to you, they would have to dig another grave beside yours.” This makes Y/N stop in her tracks to look him in the eyes. The tears brimming at the thought of her death break her heart. “Rafe, I would not be able to live without you either. You are so important to me too. But if protecting me makes you feel better, then I’ll stop bugging you about it. At least for now,” she promises, pulling him into a hug. His head buries into her neck, “Thank you, Angel. I’m glad you finally realized that I was made to protect you.”  
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jacaerysgf · 1 month
Text
Unexpected Surprise
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Summary: While attempting to gain the support of the vale, jeyne arryn has plans of her own for the prince.
r.q: Everyone forgets house Arryn😔🤘🏻 baddies of the vale Can you write something w Jace and an Arryn maybe lady Jayne’s little sister or daughter or something? Not a totally unreasonable alliance !! They have the coolest castle and knights also Ms Aemma Arryn ™️ like hello!! (I’m impatient as hell for more Vale coverage in season 2)
w.c: 900+
c.w: baela and jacaerys are not betrothed, arryn!reader jenye’s daughter, FLUFF, just a very cute fic, drabble, not proofread
a.n: IVE HAD THIS DONE SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR NO REASON OMGGGG but with the recent jeyne content i felt inspired to write this !! just something super simple <3 HOPE YOU ENJOY !! LOVE UUUU GUYS
masterlist - requests open
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“Im sorry, what my lady?”
“I wish for you to marry my daughter.”
This is not how jacaerys thought this would go. When he arrived in the vale he thought he thought he would have to make simple small talk, present some of the benefits, hells even throw some complements her way in order to convince her. This however had not been in his cards.
“I'm sorry my lady i do not understand.”
“My daughter, y/n remains unmarried, around your age, a sweet girl, agree to wed her and me and my men will bend the knee.”
He blinks. He has no clue what to say to her. Jeyne stands after a moment, “I shall go fetch her.” He watches as one of the guards tries to stop her and tells her he will go retrieve the girl but Jeyne seems determined to go herself and he moves letting her leave. Jacaerys stands awkwardly in the middle of the room unsure of what to do.
He is not too sure he can just flat out agree to a proposal without his mother position, it is not like he is a second son, he is the heir to the queen. The next king, his wife to be the next queen. Yet when he sees you walking into the room, wearing a long dress in your house colors with your mother trialing behind with a pleased look on her face he finds himself wanting to agree to the marriage right away.
You are stunning. Easily the most beautiful women he’s ever seen, sure he hasn’t seen that many women but it doesn’t matter. He watches as you bow and mindlessly nods in acknowledgment, unable to take his eyes off you.
Jeyne looks between the two of you with a satisfied look. “Why don’t you show the prince around?” She gives you a pointed look to which you nod, “Of course i would be happy to.”
He walks over and offers you his arm with a smile on his face and you graceful take it before you begin to walk off with him. Jeyne stays behind and smiles to herself.
“My mother is very forward i apologize to you.” He simply shakes his head, he finds himself look at you instead of the halls he’s supposed to be looking at. “It is not an issue my lady, I rather appreciate it.” You look at him curiously but turn away once you notice he is already looking at you. “Whatever do you mean?”
“Many people speak in riddles, not saying what they mean or truly want, your mother is a rare gem.” You smile at the praise of your mother, “She truly is.”
You lead him outside and begin to tell him about the different plants and different sculptures around the courtyards. He is so charmed by you. The way you light up when you spot something and you begin to tell him of a memory you have, like how your mother scolded you for jumping around in the fountain, or when you almost fell out of one of the window's when you fell asleep.
“You truly love this place.” He can tell. The way you smile at the guards as they walk by or the way you know every detail about everything in the walls. But he sees the way you falter slightly at his words, “Am i wrong?”
You shake your head vigorously, “no no i do, its just i have never been away from here. My mother is a very protective woman, she waves away any suitors, she never even lets me leave the eyrie it is ridiculous!” You realize you're letting your emotions show too much and bow your head, “i am sorry that was out of line.”
He grabs your hands and you look at him with wide eyes. “I understand my lady, my mother is similar, i have truly never traveled to far, i wish to explore, once my mother has her rightful throne i believe i will take the time to see westeros a little bit,” He pauses before he speaks again, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, “I could take you with me? if that is what you wish my lady.”
He watches as your eyes begin to glow and you beam at him, “truly? oh nothing would make me happier.” He nods and grips your hands tighter, “I shall take you everywhere.”
He does not expect you to throw your hands around his neck and pull him into a hug. He wraps his hands around your lower back, pushing his head into your neck and breathing in your scent. “I will accept your mothers propsal at once. You will fly with me to winterfell.” You pull back and give him an eager look. “Winterfell? Truly?” He nods, “I am to go meet lord cregan stark.”
You can barely contain your excitement at the thought of seeing something that was not the eyrie, especially a place as grand as winterfell.
Jeyne watched you two smile at one another from a window above with a small smile on her face. She does not hear the guard approaching her from behind, “You seem pleased my lady.” She says nothing to him for a moment, simply continuing to stare at the two of you. “Tell my men to ready themselves for war. It seems he will accept my proposal.”
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perm jacaerys taglist <3
@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife
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natsaffection · 6 months
Text
Apologize.
Sugar Mommy!Natasha x sugar baby!Reader
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MINORS DNI 18+!
Summary: Natasha let you apologize to her employees
Warnings: Age gap! (N= 37 R= 21), BDSM themes, Mommy kink, spanking, fingering (while watched), degration
Word count: 2,3k
A/n: Happy New year! What better way to start the year than by cumming 4 times bc of this amazing creature? What? Never mind 🔊
💵 This plays in the My sweet Baby universe 💵
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The soft glow of dawn seeped through the large windows of Natasha's penthouse, casting a warm hue across the room. She stirred from her peaceful slumber, a contrast to the groggy but content figure beside her – You.
She, with her graceful demeanor, carefully extricated herself from the cozy embrace, causing you to mumble in protest. „it's Saturdayyy, Why are you getting up so early?"
Natasha smirking and looking back to you, "Some of us have responsibilities, little girl. Work doesn't take weekends off." You, still half-asleep, pouted as Natasha leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead. "I'll be back soon. Try to get some more sleep."
"Mmm, too early for responsibilities.."
As Natasha prepared for the day, the scent of fresh coffee filled the air. You, now more awake, shuffled into the kitchen in one of Natasha's oversized shirts. "You make the best coffee, you know?" Natasha looks behind her, surprised that you are awake now and have gotten up, "One of my many talents.."
You leaned against the kitchen counter, watching Natasha with a mix of admiration and love. Despite the early hour, Natasha's presence radiated confidence and grace. "It won't be too long. What do you have planned for the day?"
you accepted the cup she gave you and thought for a moment "well, Maybe a lazy day in, catching up on shows. You know..the usual."
"Sounds perfect. I'll be back before you know it." Before she goes, she looked at one of her Maiden, “Make sure she gets a good breakfast, I’ll be off for the day.”
“Of course, Mrs. Romanoff. Safe travels.”
As Natasha prepared to leave, she glanced toward the kitchen, catching your eye. „Please don’t made a mess while I’m gone.“
You weren't sure what she meant, but you just smiled innocently and nodded. Natasha takes another quick look around and leaves the house to go to work. As you hear the car drive further and further away, you think about what you can do today. Natasha's house all to yourself? You have to make the most of it.
You get up and put your cup in the sink and before one of the maids could take it, you jump in, "if you like, you can go home.."
She looked at you and just smiled as she picked up the cup, "Don't worry, Ms. Y/n it's fine." But you wouldn't be dissuaded "come on! Surely you have things to do? What's the big deal?"
You put on your puppy dog face and take the cup from her again. She looks at you and relents, "okay fine, but I'll be back in a few hours." Before closing the door, she looks back and bows, "Thank you, Ms Y/n"
And now you're storm free. If you're honest, you already had a plan. You pull out your cell phone and text Kate to see if she's up for a game. Knowing her, she agrees and a little later all you could hear was your screams in the living room.
"Go on, Kate!"
The living room echoed with the sounds of virtual warfare and animated banter as you and Kate immersed yourselves in their gaming session. The excitement mounted and soon you’re playful trash talk escalated to full-blown screams.
"Take that! In your face!"
"No way! I totally had you!"
"Admit it, Kate. I'm the gaming champion!"
"Oh, you wish! Prepare for the ultimate comeback!"
The planned two hours turned into seven and one cup ended up being more. A bag of potato chips here and a salad there. Of course, that wasn't enough, and 2 cartoons of pizza were also added.
You had completely lost track of time and didn't even notice when Maria and the others entered the house and stood there in complete shock. As if it wasn't going to get any better, they heard the keys to the front door and a second later a stressed Natasha came in, exhausted from the day
As Natasha entered her penthouse, she noticed that the hallway was already bustling with people. She put her bags down and called Maria.
"What's going on?"
Maria fidgeting nervously, "Um, well, Mrs. Romanoff,..." Natasha sensed the hesitation and raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Maria? Speak up."
Maria was split between coming to your defense and speaking the truth of her bite "It's just that, um, Miss Y/N may have gotten a little carried away with her activities today. The dishes are piling up, well, the living room isn't exactly in its usual state."
Natasha's expression became serious "I see. Thank you for the information."
"I'm sorry if I -"
"It's not your fault. I appreciate your honesty. I'll take care of it."
Maria nodded and Natasha proceeded to confront you. When she arrived in the living room, she understood what Maria meant. It looked disastrous and you were sitting in the middle of it. With wide headphones on and shouting into them as if you couldn't be heard.
You, on the other hand, were so absorbed in your world that you didn't even notice Natasha grabbing the remote control and switching off the TV. You were so baffled and thought it was a mishap that you read it out like that „NO! What the hell!!! Why is now-" As you get up, you collide with Natasha and fall back onto the couch, "Nat! What are you doing here already?"
She, however, was totally unenthusiastic and you could see that in her eyes, "Already? Y/n have you looked at the time? It's 6 pm! How long have you been sitting in front of that thing?" You repeat what she said and look in shock at the big clock on the wall and your heart stops. Fuck. At that moment you remembered everything else and looked around. Your garbage was everywhere, pizza boxes, forks, empty bottles, the sink was full to the brim, stains everywhere, "U-Uhm...I must have forgotten the time..."
Natasha swallowed her nerves and put the remote back down, "looks like it! You have 10 minutes to clean up the mess. I'm going to take a shower, the day hasn't been stressful enough."
Wow, she sounds like your mom when you were little. Why do they always want you to do it right away? You sigh and lean against the couch again to get away from all the trouble, but Natasha doesn't like that, "What do you think you're doing? Come on, clean up."
You rolled your eyes and your mouth was faster than your brain "come on clean up... Why doesn't Maria do it or something..." when you had spoken it, you remained frozen and literally prayed that Natasha hadn't heard. You turn around, heart pounding, and see her staring at you. Now you really have it. "I-I didn't mean that! I-!"
"Undress."
You blink, what did she say?
Natasha's nostrils flared, her chest rose and fell. "Ah, not so chatty now?" she walks up to you and lifted your chin, "what's wrong? Color?“ Despite the situation, your stomach flutters that she could switch her emotions so much and now asked you about your condition, „G-Green, it's just..what if the others come in?"
Natasha in turn, grinned, "Oh sladost (darling), if that's it..don't worry about it. Now turn around, knees, hands on the floor, and ass in the air.“
Your heart fluttered in your chest as you turned around. Lower your hands to the floor and kneel on the ground. You hear Natasha sit down on the couch and seconds later, came the first blow, "I won't stop until your ass is purple," she announced casually and started again, "You don't have to count this time. But you better be prepared to barely be able to sit for the next week."
You try as hard as you can to stay quiet, so as not to make Natasha any angrier and let the spanks wash over you. After 10 strokes, she leans over you and asks in your ear, "Color?" You exhale deeply and with wiggling arms you say, "Green..."
Natasha leaned back again, "stand up and look at me." You do as she said and now stand in front of her with trembling legs. She leans up again, and looks up at you, "Do you trust me?" You didn't know exactly what she meant by that, but you were clear about one thing, "Of course, Mommy. Always." You see her smiling contentedly, "well then. Off to the corner back there, on your knees and hands behind your back." Your eyes widen. That was new. "M-Mommy..why-"
"Don't question me, or your punishment will be even longer."
You let out a shaky breath and angrily do as she said. When you were in position, Natasha finally stood up, "Come in and clean up please."
Your breath caught in your throat. This isn't really happening.
Natasha looked at you as Maria and the others entered the room to clean up the mess you had made. They didn't even glance at you because they knew what was going to happen if. You, however, didn't know and felt totally exposed. You feel your hands grow cold and close your eyes so that you can drown in the shame of strangers.
"I know it's a lot, but try to do it in ten minutes. I'm finally going to take my shower, and you over there! Don't move an inch." She looks at you again to make sure you've understood. You just whisper "Y-Yes, Mommy.." to yourself and then hear her leave the room. You also heard the maids running through the room to remove the dirt. You just wanted to sink into the ground and try to think of something else.
When Natasha came back exactly 10 minutes later, she was proud to see that not only did the room look clean again, but you were still kneeling in your corner. "What a good girl you can be. Come here."
You stood up and your knees were red due the kneeling. Turning around, you took in the room again and looked around for the maids, but found none. You slowly approached Natasha and she welcomed you with her hands on your hips and looked down at you. "Jump."
You knew what that meant and you jump, wrapping your legs around her, thinking you were both going up to her bedroom now. But you were wrong. She angrily moved you to the couch and put you down again. She kissed you and swallowed your moans that you let out. Then she kissed her way down and stood up again. She took one hand and stroked it from your thigh down to your knee and lifted it slightly. She put her tongue on it and licked her way back up to your throbbing spot, not taking her eyes off you for a second. When she finally took your clit in her mouth, she held your thighs down so you couldn't bend too far and you moaned.
"You are fabulous, your cunt is fabulous." She poked her tongue in, and you put your hands over your mouth, afraid that the others were still around. Natasha noticed this and pulled her tongue out of you. She reached under your back and pulled you up to her. She turned you so that your back was now leaning against her chest. She didn't hesitate for a second and immediately filled you with her fingers "Ah! This p-position! It’s ..."
Natasha wraps an arm around you and pulls you even closer, thrusting deeper into you. You leaned forward to somehow release the pressure, but fearing you were mistaken, Natasha turned you and leaned you against the wall with a hard thrust. She attacks your neck and pumped her fingers in and out, if she didn't hold you against the wall, you would surely slide up and down, „It’s t-too r-rough , my back..."
She lifted one thigh so you could put some weight on it and continued with her temp, "come in."
You were preoccupied with yourself, but when you heard, "Ms. Romanoff." your eyes shot open and you saw Maria standing right in front of you with her head down.
Natasha looked at you, "Apologize to her." Your head is spinning and Natasha's fingers just wouldn't stop pumping continuously in your pussy, this time her thumb rubbing wildly against your clit, "tell her you're sorry for the mess and for the fact that she cleaned it up!"
She gave a strong thrust which made you slide up a little and groan, "I'm sorry! Ah-no ..please..I'm..s-sorry! Ah-h!!!" Natasha was still pushing, "for..?"
She can't be serious..you could barely think, "t-the filth..please.."
"Apology accepted, Ms. Y/n, thank you." You managed to open your eyes a little and blurred to see that Maris still had her head bent down.
"Dismissed." natasha told her in a cold tone and Maria left the room again. Now, Natasha looked at you again, "how's it looking? Lesson learned?" You were literally drooling on her shoulder and could almost just nod, "y-yes..I'm sorry..please..I'm almost there-"
Natasha had to chuckle and applied pressure to her hand one last time. You tensed and held onto her shoulder like you would die if you fell off and before you knew it You came all over her, completely staining her and the floor in your wetness.
Natasha had to hold you so you didn't slip out of her arms. She lifted you bridestyle and you leaned against her chest. This time she really is on her way to the bedroom and as she climbs the stairs she looks at you again and speaks softly, "You know they never seen you from the front. The sight is only for me and especially only for you, okay?"
You wanted to say something about how nice you thought the gesture was, but you just couldn't find the strength and fall into a deep sleep.
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I wannaaaaa
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