#sherlock replies

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

I do love you, you know.

And you know how I feel, even if I'm terrible at saying it.

S

[consult-sherlockholmes]

what happens if you microwave eyes :3 asking for a freind

The eyes get cooked. The lens clouds because the proteins denaturate due to the heat. The vitreous liquid inside the eye turns into steam causing an increase in pressure and thus the eye explodes. Just like when you microwave an egg, it explodes and the proteins turn from transparent goo into firmer white jelly.

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

Like the geese all over again man, we know John tells the truth. Just fix up the kitchen I’m sure your hobo system could tell you where to find a decently cheap renovator.

John, please tell them that I didn't burn down the kitchen.

SH

@johnhwatsonblog

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

Hello Mrs Holmes.

I wanted to know your opinion about people who have always managed to achieve what they want in a simple and effortless way. And when these people don't get what they want so easily, they get frustrated and think it's impossible to achieve their desire.

For example, I was always frustrated, not because I didn't try hard, but because I tried too hard and demanded too much of myself. Because if something didn't work out, there's probably something wrong with me. So I thought about this dilemma, after all, in both cases they had the same feeling.

I just wanted to see your point of view.

Should I forward this to my mother, or was there another reason you addressed me as 'Mrs Holmes'?

SH

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

Congratulations to all Trump voters; you have just lowered the IQ not only of the United States but of the entire planet.

Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

The John before the Lock. Not Sherjohn. So naturally, our dear fans assume I’m the one actually calling the shots, steering the ship, what have you.

'Calling the shots', 'steering the ship'? Are you still drunk? They think you're in charge because of a ridiculous name: 'Johnlock'? It sounds like a defective door mechanism, not a relationship.

Honestly, John, I would have thought you were less susceptible to that kind of idiocy. Surely you know better than to take it seriously?

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

You seem interesting. Do you enjoy cards, Sherlock Holmes?

-♠️

I am a big fan of Mycroft's credit card.

SH

@atamh

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

i'm just saying. if john walked in wearing his old army uniform. hm?

I doubt it still fits. John's frame has— expanded somewhat.

SH

@johnhwatsonblog

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

My dude, your tailor doesn’t even know how to measure. All your clothes are too small.

John, are my clothes too small? @johnhwatsonblog

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

Who’s Safey? And why you look dismayed, Sherlock?

Safey—also known as @safedistancefrombeingsmart —is John's most dedicated stalker fan. Her behaviour is concerning, and John's continued tolerance of it is even more so.

SH

@johnhwatsonblog @safedistancefrombeingsmart

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

A question from my friend: what’s the one mystery you can’t solve?

Forget Moriarty. Forget Magnussen. The real mystery is why people remain obsessed with a fictional goose attack.

SH

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

I wholeheartedly understand your excitement about the science equipment, Sherlock. Sometimes I fantasize about finding a rich partner so they could donate to our lab and we could afford some fancy equipment.

For me, money isn't the issue—John's approval is.

I could easily fund my research via Mycroft's credit card limitless resources. John, on the other hand, would promptly march me back to the store to return my carefully chosen acquisitions unless he approved the purchase beforehand.

SH

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

As long as the red color is not next to your face, you'll fine, Mr. Holmes. I highly recommend you seeking advice from Safey. She's a great colorist. Have you seen her gifsets?

I keep a close eye on her — the John fixation is concerning, but mostly harmless. Just needs to touch some grass once in a while. Too much blue in her work for my taste. And far too much John, not nearly enough me.

SH

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

*sigh*

When did you realize you were in love with John, Mr. Holmes?

Very late—nearly too late. The main reason for the delayed epiphany was simple: I had no idea what 'being in love' meant. I had no prior experience in that area.

In hindsight, the signs were always there. The moment I laid eyes on John in the lab at St. Bart's, I knew he was extraordinary. Plain and boring on the surface, but there was something about him—an aura that fascinated me. He was full of contradictions: a doctor and a soldier. Capable of saving lives and of taking them. Unflinching in the face of danger, but infuriated by a mould experiment in the fridge. Smaller than the average man, yet able to bring down men twice his size.

Seeing him smile made me happy. Seeing him angry made me feel guilty. Seeing him sad made me feel helpless—desperate to cheer him up. And I didn't understand why. Not then.

We lost each other more than once—and each time, it hurt more. When John wanted nothing to do with me after Mary's death, I believed I'd lost him forever. That's when I realised it—what I'd been feeling for years was love.

Thankfully, we found our way back to each other.

SH

@johnhwatsonblog

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

I really need to sleep…You don’t mind me going to bed, do you?

Can I join? :)

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

Do you see Rosie as a daughter figure or not??

Hello.

Rosamund? A daughter figure? That's an odd question.

She is John's @johnhwatsonblog daughter, obviously, not mine. I am hardly suited for fatherhood, as anyone with sense would agree. But still, she is part of John's life, which inevitably means she is part of mine, whether I like it or not. And I do— tolerate her. More than I anticipated. Much more.

Do I consider her a daughter figure? No. Not in the traditional sense. But if you're asking whether I would do anything to ensure her safety, to keep her out of harm's way, to educate her, to make her happy—well, yes. It appears I already have.

So, to answer your question: I don't feel like her father, but my actions may suggest otherwise. Strange how these things happen without one's permission.

SH