#shinra pr was sleeping on him

[bobokitty]

What Angeal sees whenever he talks to Zack

[breezeinmonochromenight]

You know what? Fuck it, everyone in Shinra has a Twitter/Instagram account (but the Turks have finstas because they're spies, y'know?) Hojo's got links in the dark web. Zack tries entering the deep web by going in incognito mode and typing "drugs" in the searchbar. Genesis is starting Twitter beef for whatever reason, Sephiroth's account is virtually nonexistent, Kunsel's a tea account, and everyone likes Angeal because he's unproblematic

(Anon, I want you to know I was on the phone with my grandmother when I read this. And I hit the Zack bit and lost my fucking shit ugly laughing ahdhsjdjd he.

I’m gonna try to expand on this but I highly doubt I’ll be able to match your god tier takes lmao.)

—o—

President ShinRa — has an account on Twitter but refuses to let a PR person run it. Accidentally Horny on Main Incident Counter: 3 (so far)

Cloud — Hates social media but has one at Zack’s insistence. Has a random username with like his birthday in it but it’s so forgettable you’d think it was just an auto-generated one he didn’t change. He only posts obscure photos, never selfies. Zack is the only one that follows him until he convinces the firsts to do it and starts posting photos of the blonde and tagging him. The rest is history.

Zack — Kind of really fratboy-ish on his accounts. Lots of photos of him in cut-out muscle shirts, megawatt grin in place, etc. It’s broken up by cute, soft pictures of him and Cloud or like Cloud sleeping or smth. He tags Cloud in them, too, and that’s how Cloud’s own follower count explodes, despite having a fairly empty page (Seph is sympathetic).

Also. He totally went on what he thought was “the dark web” on like Angeal’s tablet or smth. He’s currently running laps until he fucking dies.

Angeal — The most unproblematic and fun person to follow. Has the prettiest Instagram by far given his interest in photography. Accidentally aesthetic. Not really a selfie person and rarely posts to twitter.

Trouble in paradise only happens when a shirtless photo of him in some low-riding sweats that are clinging just a little too tight from exercise pops up on a rapidly growing tea spill account. It’s made worse when Gen reblogs it like 6 times and even fucking Sephiroth likes it. He can’t even look at his DM’s anymore.

Reno — Secretly has a personal insta that he think he cute about, and no one will ever find it. But Tseng knows. Because he always just knows. He just doesn’t say anything because he uses it as a quick way to keep tabs on what infraction(s) Reno has committed at any given time.

Tseng — Runs the top secret Turk ‘kawaii’ finsta + twitter used for spying purposes but does, at times, enjoy looking at some posts. Waterscapes are a favorite.

Scarlet — She’ll post stuff that’s either interesting or aesthetically pleasing, but like every 5th post or so she’ll post some wildly misinformed or straight up shitty “hot take” a lose a shitton of followers.

Genesis — Honestly just fucking loves drama and posting his semi-lewds somewhere. Adores attention. Starts shit for the fun of it if he can’t find anything to insert himself into. Loves to pick fights with Scarlet over her shitty takes.

And yes, he has used a copy of LOVELESS as a makeshift censor bar before.

Sephiroth — Accounts have millions of followers but like. They’re basically empty. If the default picture has been replaced, it’s by like a blurry photo of... something... but a black, gloved thumb is blocking half the lens.

(Also why do all these people keep asking about his hair?)

Hojo — Welcome with open arms on the dark web, IP banned on every social media site. Truly a mystery. Go figure.

Kunsel — Has not just a tea spill page, but the tea spill page. The one that has almost eclipsed all three famous 1sts + Zack combined. Literally no one knows it’s him, either. Not even Zack.

Communicates regularly for info trades with different accounts, one seemingly harmless kawaii account tends to trade him some really good dirt, more often than not.

(He also knows it’s you, Tseng.)

Lazard — keeps everything professional but you best believe he keeps checking the tea spill page frequently. He is not immune to enjoying drama.

Reeve — Relatively unknown account with a small amount of followers until some movie about an assassin who’s dog gets murdered comes out. Then, holy shit, does his popularity explode. Turns out, ‘looks hot in a suit and cares about the environment’ is a lot of people’s ‘type’.

Rufus — Hes one of those rich kids of Beverly Hills type instagrams as a teen and then sort of grows out of it as an adult. Takes too long to retort on twitter and when he does, it kind of feels like something he’s practiced saying in a mirror for quite some time. Kind of feels like he read 50 Shades and is trying to impersonate the main dude, sometimes. The much better public face of the company, though, but a few too many food selfies.

Roche — Also kind of fratty but like 60% of his photos are centered around his bike. Makes the mistake of calling Cloud a ‘hot piece of ass’ and saying some pretty... suggestive... things about him in a photo Zack took and posted of the blonde when they were in Costa del Sol.

I’m sure you can guess how that went.

[firstinline]

basic information

full name: REDACTED. nickname(s) / alias(es): priest. age: thirty-nine (39) as of 0007. date of birth: august 27, 1968. hometown: midgar, under plate, sector 6 slums. current location: travels frequently, base of operations is shinra headquarters in midgar. ethnicity: caucasian. nationality: midgardian. gender: cis male. pronouns: he / his. orientation: demiromantic heterosexual. religion: faithless. political affiliation: to the public eye he is pro shinra. privately he doesn’t give a shit. occupation: turk --- sniper specialist, public relations for shinra electric power company. living arrangements: formerly a large penthouse apartment topside midgar, closer to edge. currently a topside smaller scale apartment ten minute’s walk from the shinra building, but still too spacious for one man. language(s) spoken: common, wutai.

Physical Appearance

face claim: charlie weber in seasons 1 & 2 of how to get away with murder. hair colour: light brown. eye colour: light blue. height: 5′11″. weight: 175 lbs. build: athletic / muscular. mesomorph. tattoos: none. piercings: none. scars: many small scars that are typically not noteworthy. a network of scars along his knuckles in varying thickness and notability. a bullet wound on his lower right abdomen, above the belt line, that appears like a thick cigar burn. a long, thick line running horizontal on his left bicep about half way around. it’s jagged in some parts -- from a knife slash. clothing style: typical turk dress attire: a three-piece suit and usually a cobalt blue or black tie. the vest of his suit is black when he’s doing turk business and varies in a slew of darker colors and accents when he’s working pr instead. off duty he tends to wear thermal shirts or under armor, flannels, and sweaters. usual expression: neutral or apathetic. slightly amused at times. distinguishing characteristics: well-kept and full beard, slicked back hair, icy blue eyes. he’s a large man, so his size is also notable, specifically the width of his shoulders.

Health

physical ailments: his body is pretty beat from the years of service he’s endured. his knees are susceptible to pressure changes in weather systems and his lower back is prone to throwing out if he’s not careful in warming himself up before severe physical exertion. he also has a torn rotator cuff on the right side, but he won’t do anything about it --- he just lets it grind. neurological conditions: ptsd. allergies: soy. sleeping habits: he can function well off of four hours, but usually sleeps six a night. eating habits: Lots of protein, well-balanced. exercise habits: cardio and weight training. priest uses working out as a means to relieve stress, so he does it incredibly frequently. emotional stability: he’s incredibly poised around others, especially when it comes to dealing with the public. but the man’s a mess. a clean 2-3/10 for emotional stability with the primary ruling being anger and apathy which are somehow balanced out by patience ... a trait only learned and mastered because of his specialized training during his time in the military. sociability: if he knows you, and he’s comfortable around you, he’s social. if he doesn’t know you, or he’s not fond of you ... he’s a “k” kind of person. body temperature: average, if not slightly warmer. addictions: nicotine, caffeine. there’s speculation if he’s becoming an alcoholic. drug use: none. alcohol use: frequent. perhaps a bit too frequent.

Personality

label: type 3: the achiever. positive traits: adaptable, charismatic, focused, loyal, methodical, observant, resourceful, steadfast. negative traits: apathetic, blunt, cynical, faithless, greedy, indulgent, scornful, vague. goals / desires: at this point in his life priest just wants to do his job and be left the fuck alone. any goal he once had is either too lofty for him by now, or dead in a ditch. fears: commitment. hobbies: anything that keeps his hands or head busy. he whittles in his spare time, but he’s quite fond of puzzles too -- like sudoku or crosswords. something engaging. he’d fuck with a rubik’s cube all day if it meant he wasn’t just sitting idle. otherwise, he quite likes shooting. habits: smoking and drinking are chief among them. otherwise he bites the inside of his cheek a lot, and taps on things: be it himself (arms crossed, tapping his arm) or drumming his fingers on the meeting table in the turk board room when tseng is debriefing.

Favourites

weather: chilly, light jacket weather. overcast. colour: cobalt blue and anything steely. music: little bit of everything, but he always leans into heavier rock. movies: psychological thrillers. sport: none anymore, but he used to have one hell of a throwing arm when he was younger. beverage: cognac. food: black and blue steak. animal: he doesn’t have a favorite animal per say, but he’s fond of cats.

Family

father: unknown. mother: cora (deceased). sibling(s): none. children: none, and it’ll stay that way if he has anything to say about it. pet(s): none. family’s financial status: lower class, hovering just above the poverty line.

Extra

zodiac sign: virgo. mbti: istp - the crafter. enneagram: type 3 - the achiever. temperament: melancholic. hogwarts house: slytherin. moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: wrath. primary virtue: patience. element: water.

[iamtheswarm]

ORIGINAL CHARACTER BIO --- PRIEST (FFVII TURK)

triggers for ptsd.

general information.

full name: REDACTED. handle: priest. age: 39 as of 0007. date of birth: august 27th, 1968. place of birth: midgar, under plate. sector 6 slums. current location: travels frequently, base of operations is shinra headquarters in midgar. ethnicity: caucasian. nationality: midgardian. gender: cis male. pronouns: he/his. orientation: demiromantic heterosexual. religion: faithless. political affiliation: to the public eye he is pro shinra. privately he doesn’t give a shit. occupation: turk --- sniper specialist, public relations for shinra electric power company. living arrangements: formerly a large penthouse apartment topside midgar, closer to edge. currently a topside smaller scale apartment ten minute’s walk from the shinra building, but still too spacious for one man. language(s) spoken: common, wutai.

physical attributes.

face claim: charlie weber in seasons 1 & 2 of how to get away with murder. height: 5'11″. weight: 175 lbs. build: athletic, muscular - mesomorph. hair color: light brown. eye color: light blue. voice claim: charlie weber. tattoos: none.. scars: many small scars that are typically not noteworthy. a network of scars along his knuckles in varying thickness and notability. a bullet wound on his lower right abdomen, above the belt line, that appears like a thick cigar burn. a long, thick line running horizontal on his left bicep about half way around. it’s jagged in some parts – from a knife slash. clothing style: typical turk dress attire: a three-piece suit and usually a cobalt blue or black tie. the vest of his suit is black when he’s doing turk business and varies in a slew of darker colors and accents when he’s working pr instead. off duty he tends to wear thermal shirts or under armor, flannels, and sweaters. usual expression: neutral or apathetic. slightly amused at times. distinguishing characteristics: well-kept and full beard, slicked back hair, icy blue eyes. he’s a large man, so his size is also notable, specifically the width of his shoulders.

health.

physical ailments: his body is pretty beat from the years of service he’s endured. his knees are susceptible to pressure changes in weather systems and his lower back is prone to throwing out if he’s not careful in warming himself up before severe physical exertion. he also has a torn rotator cuff on the right side, but he won’t do anything about it — he just lets it grind. neurological conditions: ptsd. allergies: soy. sleeping habits: he can function well off of four hours, but usually sleeps six a night. eating habits: lots of protein, well-balanced. exercise habits: cardio and weight training. priest uses working out as a means to relieve stress, so he does it incredibly frequently. emotional stability: he’s incredibly poised around others, especially when it comes to dealing with the public. but the man’s a mess. a clean 2-3/10 for emotional stability with the primary ruling being anger and apathy which are somehow balanced out by patience … a trait only learned and mastered because of his specialized training during his time in the military. sociability: if he knows you, and he’s comfortable around you, he’s social. if he doesn’t know you, or he’s not fond of you … he’s a “k” kind of person. body temperature: average, if not slightly warmer. addictions: nicotine, caffeine. there’s speculation if he’s becoming an alcoholic. drug use: none. alcohol use: frequent. perhaps a bit too frequent.

personality.

label: type 3: the achiever. positive traits: adaptable, charismatic, focused, loyal, methodical, observant, resourceful, steadfast. negative traits: apathetic, blunt, cynical, faithless, greedy, indulgent, scornful, vague. goals / desires: at this point in his life priest just wants to do his job and be left the fuck alone. any goal he once had is either too lofty for him by now, or dead in a ditch. fears: commitment. hobbies: anything that keeps his hands or head busy. he whittles in his spare time, but he’s quite fond of puzzles too – like sudoku or crosswords. something engaging. he’d fuck with a rubik’s cube all day if it meant he wasn’t just sitting idle. otherwise, he quite likes shooting. habits: smoking and drinking are chief among them. otherwise he bites the inside of his cheek a lot, and taps on things: be it himself (arms crossed, tapping his arm) or drumming his fingers on the meeting table in the turk board room when tseng is debriefing.

favourites.

weather: chilly, light jacket weather. overcast. colour: cobalt blue and anything steely. music: little bit of everything, but he always leans into heavier rock. movies: psychological thrillers. sport: none anymore, but he used to have one hell of a throwing arm when he was younger. beverage: cognac. food: black and blue steak. animal: he doesn’t have a favorite animal per say, but he’s fond of cats.

family.

father: unknown. mother: cora (deceased). sibling(s): none. children: none, and it’ll stay that way if he has anything to say about it. pet(s): none. family’s financial status: lower class, hovering just above the poverty line.

extra.

zodiac sign: virgo. mbti: istp - the crafter. enneagram: type 3 - the achiever. temperament: melancholic. hogwarts house: slytherin. moral alignment: chaotic neutral. primary vice: wrath. primary virtue: patience. element: water.

born in the slums of sector 6 in midgar to a single mother, REDACTED knew a simple childhood full of work and duty to help his mother scrape by. at 16 he enlisted in shinra’s public safety division with the hopes of becoming a career military man. for a brief time he served as a security officer within midgar, but broke into his path of choice within two years of service. REDACTED, known exclusively as the handle priest, climbed to the rank of staff sergeant coming up to and through the wutai war. he served faithfully behind SOLDIERs and other brothers-in-arms alike until the end of the war in 0002 where he retired from active military service into public relations for the company he’d been so loyal to. priest currently serves as the public liaison for shinra: the face on tv and voice in the media in lieu of director scarlet’s busy schedule, and as a turk.

recruited into the turks 3 months after his retirement from the military, priest is one of the last brought in under veld’s tenure and had been scouted by tseng for his exceptional skills on and off the battlefield. once considered as an optimal candidate for the SOLDIER program, priest was passed over in the end due to his age at the time of his consideration with official (sealed) records stating he would likely not survive the rigorous mako treatments. to date, priest has not undergone any mako treatments, even throughout his service as a turk. a steadfast man, priest is loyal to shinra and a true military man down to his bone, with his morals resting comfortably in the grey and his nose firmly pressed only into whatever business the turks or public relations have presented. priest is divorced for five years, with his wife working under professor hojo in the science division of the shinra electric power company.

FINAL ANALYSIS.

priest is a capable individual with an arsenal of skills that are suitable to the shinra electric power company. retention of his skill set is active and as of 10.05.07 he is cleared for all active duty missions as assigned by the director of subordinates. should priest’s future analysis prove he is incapable of acting to the fullest of his abilities his association with the shinra electric power company will be fully and absolutely terminated.             ---tseng, director of subordinates.