#shit i forgor to get a date with death the other day

[candyn-gutz]

bestie you should get pegged with me. buy peggle

(yes i word it like that on purpose its funny)

unfortunately i cant get anything from steam rn😭 theres the currency change and also the fucken. my card is expired and i have to get it renewed lmao

[edgyandoverzealous]

my partner is always on my mind music edition pt 1.

With absolutely no context or alternatively with all the context @moltenatlas I forgor this was in my drafts. So here you go, I hope you're doing well, I love you! <33

• "if I showed up with a plane ticket and a shiny diamond ring with your name on it would you want to run away too? cause all I really want is you" - 5sos She looks so Perfect. Self-explanatory. Except my partner hates jewelry so it would be a fancy knife as we've previously discussed as a ring equivalent.

• The usage of the pet name "Lemondrop", which I have been too shy to use quite yet because I'm lame. in Fresh by Artist vs Poet. Also the guitar in that song feels them coded. As does the band name Artist vs Poet.

• The entirety of Figure you Out by Violà because once I have an established relationship I apparently learn how to flirt and do so accordingly to the singular person for shits, giggles, and profit? That's a lie I don't know how to flirt or reciprocate everything is unintentionally and awkward and I beat myself up about it later. Ie: bookstore date incident, kill me, the gloves incident, kill me again. -///-

• "When you aren't around I sink into the ground I try to pretend I'm closer to you never understanding, you're always on my mind I cannot help it." Death by Melanie Martinez. Listen I do not care that song is a love song to me and those lines hit so hard and it's so comforting?? It's how I feel about them.

• Light shower by Melanie Martinez. Yup all of it. This one needs so much context but do I have the energy to do so, eh? I'll try. In Melanie Martinez lore consuming another person is an act of love. Ie: "eat me up like apple pie" in highschool sweethearts. It's seen as the two becoming one. An act of true devotion and a love so deep it consumes you. Okay all clear? So this particular song, from my personal interpretation, is about someone who makes you feel clean despite your traumas and someone who you'd like to be with until your last days but also makes you feel a little overwhelmed by your emotions sometimes. Ie: I was so excited when they confessed to me and we started dating that it low-key felt like I was having some kind of panic attack or about to pass out /srs I have a poem written about it I was just so happy and excited I felt heavy and lightheaded. They confessed with a wax sealed love letter sweeter than honey, cookies and other trinkets, and then immediately asked me out. I am a small simple man, okay, and they make me feel so important.

• The whole "Could you hold me through the night? Put your lips all over my salty face when I start cryin'. Could you be my first time? Eat me up like apple pie, make me not wanna die. Love me rough and let me fly. Get me up, yeah, get me high. Tie me down, don't leave my side. Don't be a waste of my time." Segment of Highschool sweethearts by Melanie Martinez. Kinda self-explanatory I mean. Some of it might be 👀 or even maybe 🚩? So for my anxiety's sake I'll clarify that my happiness/emotions are not their responsibility to regulate or any of that yikes shenanigans, I know that in its entirety and have no intention of making it their responsibility. In this context I just think it's neat to have something/someone worth living for added to the list of why I shouldn't kick the bucket prematurely. They make me feel like I have a future worth looking forward to. Sorry for the lack of context otherwise but this one is pretty self-explanatory so... :P Also my sister brought this to my attention initially but also she's right in this case.

• Saferwaters by Chevelle. About escaping traumas to a safer place or surroundings. They are my safer place. End of discussion.

• Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos. Self explanatory. That song is them. Every time I hear it, I think of them because it very much feels like a tall tale being told, my love tells tall tales. Also a poet and the soldier to my king. Iykyk.

• We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross. Ironic because earlier in this post you will see figure you out by Violà. Here's the thing I'm demi and on the grayscale of asexuality,still trying to figure out if this is related to what I've recently discovered as repeated traumas. With Rizz??Pretty sure it's not. Like with 85% certainty. So I'll just elaborate with it's nice to feel wanted and loved for who I am and treated gently/returning that treatment as well. Cool cool.

• "Perfection is so quick to bore, you are more beautiful by far, our flaws are who we really are." I hear a Symphony by Cody Fry. Something about loving the entirety of a person, 'flaws' and all. Which is how I feel about them and hopefully it's mutual?

• Sparks by Coldplay. Specifically the lines "I promise you this, I'll always look out for you, yeah that's what I'll do." And also "my heart is yours, it's you that I hold on to that's what I do." And also "I won't let you down." Self explanatory.

• 104 degrees by Slaughter Beach, Dog. In the "I want to settle down with you and can list countless small things about you and what you do and don't like because you are oh so very important to me" way.