#shitposts for fun and (non)profit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writing-to-stay-awake · 6 years ago

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Like every player have their own tumblr and time to maintain it. what will each player blog look like? here coconuts🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥 and 🍌🍌, cause they are pretty much the only fruit emoji i can find grown in my country.

Okay. This could fun. We’re gonna use the world cup roster and see what my brain comes up with.

Alyssa Naeher - Alyssa’s would be clean. Simple. And probably filled with pictures of morning aesthetics, her favorite people/places in Chicago, stuff about bikes/bike riding, and family. There be little to no commentary except the occasional zinger in the tags.

Mal Pugh - Mal’s blog lacks proper color coordination but no one will tell her that font color hurts their eyes. Mal would probably post about a bunch of popular cultural places she wants to visit, mixed in with things about partying (cause she’ll never actually have time for it), and back and forths with other people on the team over random memes. Somehow, all the advertisements on the page will be her in her new endorsements.

Sam Mewis - Her blog is in the NC Courage gold and blue scheme. It’s generally a quiet place. A mixture of athletic “you can do its,” stuff about her favorite people, and non-profit organizations. She’s too good and too pure. She can’t help getting drug into things though and her friends will definitely tag her in dumb memes.

Becky Sauerbrunn - Becky’s would probably be a comfortable grey scheme. Easy on the eyes. She’d post about Adidas, nintendo, places to relax (like the beach), napping, and cat pictures. So many cat pictures/videos/memes. There’d be at least one hulu ad.

Kelley O’Hara - Kelley O’Hara keeps her page with a dark theme because she knows most people are looking at this stuff when they’re up late. It’s definitely the only time she’d have for it. She’d have weird coffee/juice posts, athletic inspirationals, home aesthetics, and beach life. You’ll be able to tell that one day she’ll retire to a life of surfing.

Morgan Brian - Morgan’s would probably be super fancy, and well thought out. Definitely paid for a theme. But it’ll just be stuff about her vacations and her husband, and if you don’t follow her you’ll probably forget it’s really there. (Sorry.)

Abby Dahlkemper - Puppies. California life. Landscapes. It’s pretty and makes you want to see real palm trees.

Julie Ertz - Travel Pictures and the Eagles. Her husband would have a companion blog. It would be women’s rights and the USWNT and Chicago. It feels like the ultimate couples goal blog. Its so cute it hurts.

Lindsey Horan - Horan’s blog is surprisingly sparse on content that she hasn’t been tagged in and dragged into. Mostly stuff about the Thorns.

Carli Lloyd - The blog is plain. The theme has never been changed. It’s strictly about team championships and fitness. So much fitness. So much stuff about running. Also some New Jersey aesthetic pictures, but somehow nothing about Sky Blue.

Ali Krieger - Ali’s would be full of all different things. Dogs. Ashlyn. Reposts of Kyle Krieger tweets. Beach pics. Things that show her own tattoos (but not in a shallow way) and like....explain stories. It will be cute af, but also Orlando purple and I’ll hate that.

Tierna Davidson - Her blog will be super chill and lowkey. You’ll almost forget it’s there because it never stirs up trouble. It will however, have lots of love for stanford. And her girlfriend.

Alex Morgan - Her blog will literally be advertisements and endorsements. It’s not actually hers at all. It’s run by a PR team because she can’t afford to spend time on that.

Emily Sonnett - Sonnett’s blog will be a trash fire. She’s my favorite. It’s still true. There will be no theme. She will shitpost her friends. Tag them in dumb memes and pretend to be a food blog from time to time. She’ll be the group’s resident photoshop girl. It will be dumb and it will be great.

Megan Rapinoe - Her blog will be gay. So so so gay. And unapologetic. It will also include posts about social and societal issues. Support for the Seattle Storm. And fashion. Somehow she’ll tie it all together. She’ll probably get in trouble for something she posts at some point and still refuse to take it down.

Rose Lavelle - Dogs. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

Tobin Heath - Her blog will be some weird artsy blog. It will be full of stuff that we don’t really get but appreciate looking at anyway. Occasionally she’ll post a selfie and every single one of her followers will die on the spot. It’ll definitely be her in some form of terrible shorts/underwear.

Ashlyn Harris - Tattoos. Ali. To write love on her arms. Sharks. Her own dog. Lots of original content that she’ll tag with #yourewelcome. Also I somehow see her posting pictures of the beach.

Crystal Dunn - Crystal doesn’t have time for tumblr. She’s too busy busting her ass and doing the work.

Allie Long - Her blog is content of her pups. Futsal. Videos of pranks. Fashion. Dumb stuff happening with Bati, pictures of bible verse quotes, and the occasionally text argument.

Adrianna Franch - Thorns content. Dapper fashion. Inspirational quotes. And places she either has or would like to travel. She keeps it lowkey. Also lots of photos that make her happy/herself actually smiling and joking around. She wants people to feel good and be better for looking at it.

Jessica McDonald - She’s a professional athlete and a mom. If you think she has time for a blog you’re nuts.

Christen Press - Dogs. Pictures of sunsets and sunrises. Her family and how much she loves and appreciates them. Random poetry. Home aesthetics and where she’s comfortable. Quotes on being at peace. Random art. Pinks and Oranges. Interesting fashion choices.

#i hope this is what you were looking for #my brain is TIRED #whew i need a nap now

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soft-anomaly · 6 years ago

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An (old-school) alternative to Tumblr?

[tldr; Neocities is an open-source, free platform where you can make your own lil’ website, and it’s fun, ad-free and kinda adult-content friendly]

pic above : https://anlucas.neocities.org

This platform’s future is uncertain.

From the large-scale porn ban to the various worries of Tumblr collapsing someday, being bought and resold multiple times (Yahoo, Verizon, now maybe Pornhub...), people are worried their communities, with all the positivity, diversity, shitposts, memes, inspiration and help are going to crumble someday.

Various alternatives have been examined during the porn ban, but despite some users scattering, nothing has been stnading out yet.

Here, I want to talk to you about an alternative —that may also be used as a playground, an experiment, or a “side-blog” besides your existing tumblr.

pic above : https://shallot.neocities.org

Neocities is a Geocities successor

Now, I know many of you might not know about the golden age of Geocities. It was a very important platform back in the early days of the Internet, with many personal websites / pages being hosted there for free. At its peak, it was the third most visited website on the web.

Basically, Neocities allows you to create your own homemade website. You get a .neocities.org web address and upload your stuff there. It requires a bit of coding, but it has a tutorial and everything to get you started rather easily.

There is a followers system, search function, and you can easily upload things and edit your website directly from your dashboard.

Fresh air from the sanitised, polished, marketed internet

This is what I like most about Neocities :

It’s free, open-source and pretty much non-profit

Pages are often very personal, with lots of personality

No ads ever

You can experiment and do crazy shit

No invasive tracking, corporate information selling, etc

90′S AESTHETICS

Adult-content tolerant (although you won’t appear in search results)

Of course, there are also downsides I want to warn about :

No easy post-making, you have to insert your content in code

The dashboard and follower experience is very limited

No likes / reblogs

Adult content policy is still a bit blurry, although the creator is open- minded about it (I’m a sex worker and exchanged a bit w/ him on Twitter)

If you like making stuff by yourself, or want to create your own small website about things you enjoy and interests you wanna share, it might be your jam ;)

Anyway, please check it out, even just out of curiosity! And please share it around you if you like it!

https://neocities.org/

#tumblr #neocities #alternatives

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replicarters · 7 years ago

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i was at northeast trek con this weekend, if you couldn’t deduce it from my posts that must have sounded like they were coming from some sort of hallucinatory trip. to say i had fun would be a wild understatement. if you slot this con on an alignment chart, it would be wall-to-wall chaotic good. the theme advertised was celebrating the 25th anniversary of ds9... and boy did we celebrate.

what follows is everything i feverishly tweeted about the wildest 72 hours of my life.

the only reason i went to this con at all was @thylekshran, who wanted to see one mr. jeffwey combs very badly. @jadziadax happened to say to me one night, “hey you should go to this con happening where you live to see nicole,” and i said, “wait a minute, isn’t this the con dylan wants to go to? what if i actually Did go to this?”

friday: i grabbed dylan, somehow, from the bus stop that i think didn’t quite exist on this plane. we get to the con and we walk into the exhibit hall. nicole is right by the door and i cannot look at her, so we beeline for vendor tables, and suddenly before me is an extremely familiar spread of colorful images. it takes me a minute to process it, and then i’m pointing to this table and rushing toward it going, “OH MY GOD. IT’S HER! FROM TUMBLR! OH MY GOD WHAT.” it was none other than @abravenoise selling prints!!!! i had no idea she would be there since i didn’t look at anything before i left the house. just fyi she is irl just about the nicest person i’ve ever met!!!!!! and i’m so glad we got to hang out as much as we did!

we spent the day mostly going to panels and being big baby chickens regarding jeff’s and nicole’s tables, respectively. we did end up at jg hertzler’s table A Lot, because dylan, like, is recognized?? by him and his wife??? idk dylan’s just out here charming the pants off everybody, so i was like, okay cool, this is the first thing that is Totally Fine, just chilling with martok. we also met two cool dudes through jg who really enjoyed hanging out with us, and that was great! making friends all over the place! not the first and not the last!

one thing dylan and i were bummed about was that the klingon meet & greet party that night (where jg and robert o’reilly would get in costume as martok and gowron and duel to the death) was sold out. we really really really wanted to go... so dylan just... straight up asks jg if he can get us in dhfklshdfd. and you know what? he fucking does. just... put our names right on that list! O K A Y!

the friday panels were a sign of what would be to come, every one we went to was crazy. this was my first real trek con, so of course i have never seen hertzler and o’reilly in a room together, but now i have and my third eye is open and all that. not to mention: learning that garrett wang plays pokemon go, nicole cracking up at poop jokes like i said, hertzler doodling a little shran with glasses on jeff’s sign, the con’s power point file just being named DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. everything that was happening was so good.

chase masterson had a panel about her pop culture hero coalition, and currently working for a non-profit myself, i was really curious about what kinds of programming they do, so i went to her table to talk to her about it. chase ended up talking some about the why’s of starting the coalition, what it meant to her, her own struggles with depression, and i’m thinking to myself, ��uhhhhhh well if chase is gonna share about her mental health struggles, then... i... will also do this.” the nanosecond i said something about experiencing difficulty with self-love, she was zeroed in on me like a cruise missile. i spilled everything to her about my job and how my old boss was basically the meanest, most miserable person alive, and how much she got into my head and how now that i was out of that department, i had to pick up the pieces and it was proving to be much harder than it has been in the past. well, god almighty, chase just had the nicest things to say in return, and we commiserated over being your own worst critic, and how ridiculously hard it is to have this fight against yourself over and over again, but that we deserve so much and going forward is worth it. jesus christ! i got a big hug and said to myself, “holy shit i can’t wait to tell my therapist that a star trek actor talked to me about mindfulness and now i want to learn the hell out of it.”

oh but then it was time for the klingon party that we were now going to thanks to jg hertzler. this thing was off the chain immediately, martok and gowron had their duel, first with sparkling bat’leths that fell apart, and then with whole baguettes, and i can’t believe i got to watch this with my eye parts. and that was the beginning; the party would go for another 3 hours, almost all of which i spent dancing with the most generous people i’ve ever met, who went out of their way to welcome everyone they could onto the dance floor, regardless of physical ability or skill level. there was one woman in particular who, if she saw even the slightest twinkle in your eye and you weren’t already dancing with her, she’d be like, “you, get over here!” i don’t know how my body did that for all that time without falling apart.

our esteemed guests began showing up, and garrett wang leapt into the middle of our jump around circle and gave each one of us a vulcan high five. jeffrey combs showed up which of course sent dylan over the moon, and he said, “you go, girl!” to her dancing. max grodenchik gave dylan one of his drink tickets and then asked us whether or not we thought the existence of god could be proven. chase found us and reached out her hand over a couple people’s heads to give me a supportive hand squeeze (!!!???). aron eisenberg, i don’t know what the hell he was doing, but i feel like maybe somebody asked him about terry, because all of a sudden i hear something like, “terry left because she was in love with nog and couldn’t take it anymore.” garrett has three pokemon go accounts, which he showed off at my urging, and let me tell you, don’t encounter him at a gym because he has three dragonites, two tyranitars, a monster blissey, and god knows what else. dancing, dancing, more dancing. then it was time for it to be done, and time to go home. we watched reanimator. i was wired as hell and barely slept.

and THAT. was only friday.

saturday: i had kept my eyes open for a copy of the lives of dax the day before, but didn’t see anybody selling one. this morning, i walk by a booth we went to the previous day and all of sudden, on top of a bunch of other books in a big tub, there it was!!! couldn’t have forked my money over faster if i tried.

then i had this bright idea. hey... here’s a copy of lives of dax... and nicole is here... and she should sign it... and then in the future i can get terry to sign it... boom, bang, let’s do it, right? i had dylan drag me to nicole’s table because i was like, “i am never going to make even eye contact with her if you do not physically take me there,” and one of us brought up that we missed her at the klingon party. it’s cool, we all gotta sleep, right? well, it turns out nicole had gone out with the gaaays in spaaace people to the bar where they were going to have their party later. so she says garrett texts her, “uhhh hey you know you’re kinda supposed to be making an appearance at this thing, right?” nope! no clue. so she texts him back, “hmmm uhhh well,” takes another sip of her drink, “i think i’m doing good work here.”

the thing about nicole that i somehow missed in my drinking in of all ds9 actor content is that she embodies pure shitposter energy, but if the shitposts were coming from a wine mom. she’s hysterical, 50% intentionally and 50% unintentionally. an extremely excellent human. she signed lives of dax, i had my tribble photo op with her later (that i almost missed due to getting into a conversation with larry nemecek!) and she said she was going to the gays in space party later. helllll yes. i hope somebody puts up her q&a because she told a RIDICULOUS story about auditioning for ezri and creeping on jeri ryan on a plane. i can’t do it justice, there are movements that have to be seen.

we went to combsland finally, and i grilled him about whether or not herbert killed the cat, and we learned jeff has two cats! show them off, man! where are the vids! then, and i had never planned to do this, i bought an autograph from him, and the shran i bought it on ended up selling out! crazy.

hertzler had doodled a martok above his table, and so this combined with the little shran from yesterday led me to these words coming out of my mouth: “can i pay you for a drawing? can i pay you for a drawing of jadzia and martok brofisting?” he gave it very serious thought, said he was gonna have to look at a lot of pictures of terry (relatable), and told me to give him my e-mail. between him and his wife, i hope to god one of them remembers my e-mail is in his wallet. let me give you money!!!

my next tweets jump right to gays in space - again, dylan knows a lot of the gis folks, so i didn’t feel like i was going into this totally unawares. we’re chilling at the bar, i’m drinking my cranberry juice, and then o’reilly, aron, and nicole arrive, telling everybody that jg’s probably going to be late because a bouncer pushed his wife and he might go to jail. like, kidding, but also... it’s jg hertzler and he could legitimately fuck you up. so he was gonna be late, regardless.

nicole sees dylan and me and comes to say hello (????!!!!!) and somebody ends up saying, “get this lady a drink!” yeah, dylan and i were on that. in fact, i pulled my credit card out like i cared not one bit about identity theft, fico scores, my own personal finances; i would purchase this alcohol in an alley from a guy using a card skimmer. few minutes tick by and then i’ve officially bought a drink for nicole de boer (?????????!!!!!!!!) and i’m giving it to her (????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we’re clinking our glasses together (?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i’m clinking glasses with nicole fucking de boer and somehow managing to be normal about it. i’m not altogether convinced i didn’t exit the universe entirely by this point and end up in another one.

the gays in space party was AMAZING, it was just as fun as the klingon party! if you have a chance to go to one, please do, there’s like no way you could ever regret it. you get treated to star trek-themed drag shows, get to mingle, there was a raffle, the people were just as friendly as the previous day, it was so great. we were out very late for my old lady body clock but it was worth every bit of exhaustion we felt the next morning, after the saga of actually getting home past a blocked off road and dylan slicing herself open on the bottom of my passenger seat.

sunday: nicole sees me, mid-yawn, and gives me one of those, “eyyy you and me went through some shit last night huh?” looks and tells me good morning. ( ? ? ? ? ? ! ! ! you know this drill.) combs ended up on the escalator behind us after his panel and i turned around and i said to him, “hey jeff, you got any pictures of your cats with you?” (no, but he has a black cat and a very vocal calico.) i went to chase’s table again and got another hug right out of the gate, we took a pic together, and she told me i was powerful! yo! or rather yooooooooooooooooooo!

the con was winding down at this point, but there was one more thing left: jeopardy. the jeopardy game was done at the first northeast trek con and was so popular they did it again, and i really, really hope someone uploads it to youtube because it is beyond description. first of all, the whole draw were the contestants: you could enter a raffle to end up on either hertzler’s, aron’s, or garrett’s team. the champion from the last game ended up buying half the tickets, so he was on it again, and not on aron’s team, much to aron’s annoyance because god almighty did he want to win. he was about to commit murder in there. someone said nicole was upset that she wasn’t in the game because she really wanted to play, lmfao. so the guys running it were like, “well, go get her, she can be on garrett’s team!” which sent aron into a fucking tailspin. now we got a team with two people on it?! they got nicole and drew the other winners, and the game began.

one of the rules was “this isn’t going to be fair. at all.” actually, it was two of the rules. despite this, you’d have thought aron was bitten by a rabid raccoon. every lost question almost got him flipping the table over. nicole belatedly, i’m talking like 5 minutes into it, realizes she doesn’t understand the rules of jeopardy and can’t figure out why “their” question was answered by someone else. she can’t believe someone knew what voyager’s registry number was. one of the questions was, “a young kid called ensign kim this name instead of ‘ensign’,” and with no hesitation, she answers, “asshole,” and wasn’t even joking, that was her actual guess. R E A L W I N E M O M H O U R S

the winner was hertzler and the previous champ. aron wants to ban the guy from buying tickets ever again. we head to the closing ceremony but it doesn’t happen? lmfao. well, guess the con’s over!

@abravenoise, one of our other con pals, and dylan were all taking the same bus that night, so we all went to grab dinner with two other guys, one who was a con pal and one i hadn’t encountered at all, and halfway through our dinner larry nemecek strolls in and sits down with us. things just keep happening, huh? the guy i hadn’t encountered at all was really impressed with me unhinging my jaw to consume my burger, and halfway through doing this i have to stop because he says, “hey, why the HECK did jadzia die?!” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here go hell come. my time to shine.

larry like looooves asking people what brought them to star trek, and this time he was asking us the -whys- of what brings us to star trek. i said the characters, for sure. he asked us about our favorites. i told him mine had changed throughout my life, but that when i was a kid, dr. crusher was my first favorite. he said, “in high school?” i said, “no, i mean, when i was REALLY little. like 4 or 5.” he asked me, “wow, have you ever met gates at a con and told her that?” pfft well, no, but first of all, now you got me wanting that, second of all i said what i really wanted was to swap cat pictures with her.

that was the end. i took everybody to their bus, went home, snuggled up in bed, and just asked myself, “what the fuck happened?” i still don’t know! but it was fun as hell, and amazingly impactful, if i’m being honest with you. i was surrounded by so many people brimming with enthusiasm, so many people who were happy. then there’s me, a curmudgeon who’s done everything in her power to stamp down her happiness all in the name of being ~cool or whatever. and it hasn’t made me very happy. i mean, i am also clinically depressed, there is that. but i’ve stopped sharing the things i enjoy with others, especially in recent years. i’ve closed myself off, mostly out of fear and attempting to survive my old job, but even here, i tend to keep myself at a distance, and i thought it was just because i’ve run the whole gamut of loving something before and just want to hang out with my friends. i think it’s more than that, though. i think it’s more of a defensive posture, and it’s that same posture which is running my life right now. it’s exhausting. this weekend wasn’t exhausting. it was in the sense that the human body needs rest and sleep and food and i wasn’t getting nearly enough of any of it, but emotionally, i was unburdened.

it would be nice to be that way all the time. i don’t know if it’ll be possible to be happy again like the people i met this weekend, but i do know that i want to experience this over and over and over again.

now, next time, maybe @rootmacklin and @jadziadax will be with me and we’ll be showing off our friendship necklaces to a very tall lady. that would be a good step toward unlocking my happiness...

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eviipaiadin · 7 years ago

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12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

There’s a reason I tag our campaign as ‘Dungeons & Shitposting’. But here’s a list of all the dumb in-jokes I’ve had over my years of playing and running games. (Under a read more because it’s a lot)

D&D 4e or ‘OTK the Campaign’

“Bards are just better warlords!”

“I’m working with this really cool archfey. She’s kinda underground, you’ve probably never heard of her.”

Raviel Thade, Door-to-Door Raven Queen Salesperson

“...You never said that your Vicious Mockery was dealing non-lethal damage to the cow...”

“I’m a paladin, right? That means these villagers respect me, right?”

“...And there goes the halfling, hoping to hitchhike to meet some competent adventurers...”

Homestuck 4e or ‘I Am The Only Person In This Damn Campaign That Doesn’t Know No Houseglueds’

“Evii, do you have a +1 in any stat at all?”

“His name is literally ‘Villain’. I ain’t trusting him.”

Pokemon Religion vs Fusion Science

“Why are you guys laughing so hard? All I did was push him down some stairs.”

Legends or ‘The Origins of Captain Creig Cornswaggle, the Courageous Commander of The Cruel Craven and Co-Owner of The Crow’s Call’

Literally anything about Captain Creig Cornswaggle, the Courageous Commander of The Cruel Craven and Co-Owner of The Crow’s Call

“Diplomancy: Friendship Really is Magic.”

“...And then I stuck her with my shadow sword!” | “Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?”

“Ew, I can’t believe you’re into dead people.” | “For the last time, I’m a necroMANCER not a necroPHILIAC!”

Gregory the goblin head

“No, we are not selling the avatar of god into slave labour.” | “BUT THINK OF THE PROFITS THAT COULD BE USED FOR ORPHANAGES, GERARD! YOU LOVE THAT WEIRD GOODY-TWO-SHOES SHIT, RIGHT?!”

“If you’re gonna threaten us to kill something for you and you’re that tough, do it your damn self.”

“Voice is a privilege reserved for the GM and the GM alone. You players peasants must use text.”

“I can’t fucking believe the fate of the world once again rests in the hands of the two (2) short ones.”

“No, you cannot build a mountain of corpses to escape. I’M RAILROADING YOU SO I CAN REINTRODUCE A PLAYER CHARACTER. STOP BEING DIFFICULT.”

“I surrender, suckers.”

“My pirate gear is the HEIGHT of fashion. Keep your stinkin’ tux to yourself.”

Fate or ‘Evii Makes a Weird Character for Extended Pun Purposes’

Peter ‘Pan’ Handel

“He’s 50% man, 50% goat, 50% alligator.”

“You still sound Russian. Gimme some more vodka, maybe that’ll fix it.”

(It was a single very short session so not much memes there, unfortunately.)

World of Darkness or ‘Deadbeat Dirty Drug Cop and Rich Kid with a Penchant for Speed Ruin Everything at Record Speed’

“I slap him with the mummy hand.”

“How many levels do I need to put into [stat] before I can dual-wield shotguns?”

“How many sanity points does it cost for me to make a one-liner here?”

“We might not have a silver bullet. But maybe there’s enough silver in the five hundred (500) bullets we pumped into him to do the trick.”

“I can’t believe our most powerful ally is a devil hooker.”

Pokemon Tabletop Adventures 1 or ‘Lie Detector is Overpowered’

“Your character is [age between 20-55]? None of these tokens work for that.”

“I attempt to read the sign.” | “It says [whatever’s on the sign].” | “HEY GUYS, THE SIGN SAYS [whatever’s on the sign]!”

“My ahegao is a built-in lie detector.” | “YOUR WHAT?!” | “You know, the dumb single standing up hair.” | “THAT’S NOT WHAT AHEGAO MEANS, EVII!!”

“I believe in my Shuppet. So that means it does an extra... 8d6 damage.” | “Fuck off.”

Pokemon Tabletop Adventures 2 or ‘Who Let Me Be In Charge?!’

Bipen begins.

“Oh no, not Bidoofs!”

“...So you killed her Charmander.” | “OOPS!”

D&D 5e 1 or ‘The Wheatley Featherstep Saga’

Another character that exists for Evii to make bad puns

“Kaiser is the best and the strongest and can beat Baphomet with two (2) arms tied behind her back.”

Decibel the definitely-a-drow

Owly the owl

“So you can’t actually roll low enough to be hit by the aftermath explosions from these things...”

Decibel dying and immediately being reincarnated by a giant magic thing

Wheatley banishing Baphomet and all the demons back to the Abyss by accident, saving Kaiser and also kicking off the Wedding Crashers Arc

Wheatley’s Double Death Room

Wheatley, Lawful Good Monk, befriends local Chaotic Evil vrock

Wheatley adopts a fire snake after being complicit in murdering her family (oops!)

Halfling Lucky can’t save you if you roll a billion 1s in a row

Sultan of Many Titles vs Chiyoko of Many Titles+1

“You know, if you had actually had the Deck of Many Things on your person, you would’ve auto-won the encounter.”

“Why can’t I beat an 11 on Insight checks?!”

D&D 5e 2 or ‘Dungeons & Shitposting’

“Salith has the strongest drow fists in existence.”

“She has a tentacle rod and we are ending the conversation there.”

“Bitch!”

[Arceusawful Russian accent] “What do you call dark elf who cannot swim?”

Kana the NPC slayer

“For the Sea Mothah!” [fish slap]

“I fucking hate spiders.” | “I fucking love spiders!” (These two (2) characters are now dating.)

The Nature Society has made lumberjacking illegal.

Everything about Nappa/Cabbage, really

“’Allo! My name is, ‘ow you say, Ree Asho!”

The Cavalry

I am kana man 410,757,864,530 DEAD KOBOLDS

“Hey Frank”

Speedrunning the campaign

“Look you guys, the beholder isn’t even at full power!”

Potion of Good Performance (not actually a sex thing!)

A traditional derro and kuo-toa burial

“The tree did it!”

The Messenger’s Guild

The Cyrus is Framed and No One has Fun for at Least Five (5) Sessions Arc

The Return of Bipen (”I’m a Dragon~!”)

The Return of Captain Creig Cornswaggle, the Courageous Commander of The Cruel Craven and Co-Owner of The Crow’s Call

The Tomb of Pharaoh Phasulias, Home of Pharaoh Phasulias

Demon lycanthropy is extra bad lycanthropy

Torchguard Commander Rickert is tired, grumpy, but kinda hot (at least to Navi)

“You’re Linda!!” (can’t remember if that was the right name)

The We Kinda Got Invited to a Wedding But Only a Few of Us are Still Playing the Characters that Knew the NPCs Getting Married so the Impact is Greatly Lessened as a Result Arc

Yoil Kreth and the Mechanized Execution Combative Heavy Axe (MECHA for short)

Oh Boy More Travelling NPCs We Really Don’t Care About

My awful impressions of Cyrus and Bipen when their players aren’t around

Fluffy is a Good BoyTM

Themberchaud the Fat Cat Dragon

Thesmachaud is buff, scary, but kinda hot (at least to Kana)

“Oh god we killed Buppido!”

“Your demon sense senses a billion (1,000,000,000) demons.”

D&D 5e 3 or ‘Evil Squad’

>hags

The Conch Horn Plan

Mr. Skeletal the First to Mr. Skeletal the Third