#sholi rhel

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Sholi cheering on her friends!

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The trifecta is complete!

Masa, Sholi, and Colette all looking happy/excited about something.

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More photos from Masa and Sholi's first not-date.

Extra special thanks to @wives-natlho for helping me create these images!

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Some random Sholi poses as I learn more about gpose.

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Guess who finally unlocked a Chocobo!!

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General Info

Name: Sholi Rhel

Pronouns: She/her

Race: Miqo’te, Keeper of the Moon

Age: Mid-Late Twenties

Nameday: 17th Sun of the 4rd Umbral Moon

Guardian: Menphina

Appearance

Height: 5’3” / 160 cm

Build: Lean with strong arms. Nice calves.

Skin: Pale

Eyes: One green, one blue

Clothing: Likes very girly clothing. Adores skirts and dresses, especially tight ones that show off her curves. Doesn’t mind pants but rarely wears them unless the situation calls for them.

Gear: Mostly her bow and arrows.

Personality

Occupation: Freelance adventurer

Temperament: Friendly. Loves to talk to new people. 

Religious: Sort of. She prays to Menphina fairly often (especially before going on a hunt or adventuring excursion), but doesn’t consider herself religious. Mostly just cautious.

Hobbies: Shopping. Archery. Sewing (Loves making alterations to her clothes).

Habits: Chewing her lip.

Fears: Abandonment. 

Strengths: Extroversion. Courage.

Weaknesses: Struggles to get close to people (good at making contact, bad at keeping contact). 

Hopes and Desires: to be known for something. She was abandoned as a baby, and it's left her with a desire to prove herself as something other than an abandoned child. (Note: she was eventually adopted, but it took a few tries, leaving her with a fear of being abandoned).

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Beach Day

Sholi, true to her word, managed to wrangle everyone together for a beach day over the weekend. In the meantime, she, Colette, and Masa had gotten together for a day of shopping so Masa could get a cute new swimsuit seeing as they hadn’t brought one with them (“In my defense, I didn’t imagine I’d be doing a lot of swimming,” Masa proclaims).

When the day finally comes, Sholi and Colette meet Masa at their innroom and walk with them to the beach. The conversation flows smoothly between them, and it feels like no time has passed when they arrive at the beach Sholi was taking them to.

She watches as Masa looks around, wide eyed, and wonders why that was. Living on an island, they’d surely seen the beach before. Maybe it was because this was a Limsa Lominsan beach that was different? “Wow. It’s so pretty.”

“It is. Similar to back home?” Sholi makes her way to sit beside Augustine and Zevri on a blanket. Augustine is wearing swim trunks, leaving his top surgery scars on view for all to see. According to Colette, he hadn’t always been that confident in them, so it pleases her to see he seems open to wearing them proudly now. “Hey.” Zevri, meanwhile, is in a distractingly small black bikini.

“Kind of. Little smaller, to be honest, but still very pretty,” Masa says as they join the rest on the blanket. Blyss, however, is over by the ocean, fishing rod in hand. Whether anything is biting, Sholi isn’t sure. Was fishing good in this area, or did it just bring him comfort to have it in hand near the water?

She turns her attention back to Masa and laughs. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I grew up in Gridania. I’d never even been to the beach until I came here.”

Masa blinks. “Really? No family vacations or anything?”

Sholi shakes her head. “Nah, Ma and I never really had that kind of gil. My Uncle R’vera offered to take us once, but it was getting close to winter and I had to help with preparations.”

“Preparations?”

“Mhm. Yeah, like helping folks who can’t or don’t hunt get enough food for the winter via my bow. Things like that.”

“Was he not from there?”

Sholi tilts her head. “Sorta but not exactly. He’s from the city proper. I’m from just outside it, remember? What my community does to prepare and what Gridania proper does to prepare are a little different.”

“Sorry,” Masa apologizes.

“Nothing to apologize for,” Sholi says, waving off their concern. “Anyway, have y’all been waiting long?”

Zevri stretches her legs out on the blanket, bending over to touch her toes. It really shouldn’t be as distracting as it is. “Not really. Blyss and I were the first ones here, but we haven’t been here more than half an hour before the rest of ya showed up.”

Sholi hums, bending her knees beneath her. “Sorry about that.” She reaches into the bag she’d carried and grabs the sunscreen, intent on lathering it on her person. She was pale and tended to burn easily, especially compared to the people who’d grown up in oceanic regions.

“I can help with that,” Colette offers. “If you do me in exchange.”

“Fair enough.” Sholi squirts some of it onto her hands to lather into her arms then tosses Colette the rest of the bottle. “Make sure you cover everything.”

“Hun, I grew up in the desert. I know how to apply sunscreen,” Colette says dryly as she squirts some of it onto her palm. “Cold,” she warns before touching Sholi’s back with the stuff. Sholi briefly shivers at the sensation of cold sunscreen lotion against her warm skin.

“Masa, want me to do yours?” She offers as Colette rubs it onto her back.

“Um, s-sure?” They turn around so their back is facing her and pull their short hair away from their neck. Sholi doubts it was too necessary given the one piece Masa wore covered most of their back, but she rubs it into the skin around their neck regardless. As expected, their skin is warm and soft and Sholi struggles to reign in her thoughts on other things she’d like to potentially touch one day. “Is this okay?”

“Mhm. Perfect,” Sholi comments without thinking. The snort of amusement beside her suggests she didn’t do a perfect job of covering her thoughts, but Augustine seems to be the only one to notice. Good. Still embarrassing, but at least he wouldn’t comment on it the way some other people would.

Then again, Sholi thinks as she glances over at Zevri, maybe he wasn’t the only one who noticed. Just the only one commenting.

“Who’s up for a round of beach ball?” Colette asks, holding a white ball over her head. 

Masa immediately perks up. “I am!”

Augustine lays back on the blanket, arms crossed beneath his head. “Count me out. I get tired of having my ass handed to me in sports.”

Masa giggles. “No good at them?”

“Never have been.”

“I’ll play,” Zevri offers as well.

“I’m out,” Sholi says at about the same time. “I’m not good at this game.”

“Yo, Blyss? Wanna play? Help even out the teams?”

The Roegadyn looks between her pole and the group before shrugging. “Eh, why the hell not?”

Sholi watches as they form two teams, Colette and Zevri on one and Masa and Blyss on the other, and set up on opposing sides of the beach, using her and Augustine as the middle. She leans back on her arms and watches as Colette and Zevri take an early lead, though Masa seems to be just as good at this game as Colette and manages to score one over her. Sholi can’t help but be impressed. From what she’d seen of this crew, few were able to best Colette in this game.

“How are things going?” Augustine asks after a few moments of just watching their friends play.

“Not bad. Getting a little chaotic, but that’s part of why I wanted to do this today,” Sholi answers honestly. She hadn’t interacted with him as much as she had his sister, but he gave off the same quiet strength that she did, which made her comfortable talking to him now.

“Heard about you and Masa. Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

Sholi tilts her head backward and huffs loudly, cursing the Twelve for giving her such caring friends. “Yes, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Augustine stares at her over the rim of his sunglasses, seemingly not believing her. “If you say so.”

“Where’d you hear about that anyway? We haven’t really told anyone.” Except Zevri, but… oh, for fucks sake. She glares at the rabbit woman, who doesn’t even seem to notice. “Zevri?”

“Zevri,” he confirms. “She told me and Blyss earlier.” Sholi curses her luck. “I’m not judging. Just… didn’t you and Zevri only break up because you couldn’t communicate very well?”

Sholi scowls, both at him and at Zevri. “It… I… what do you care?”

Augustine shrugs. “I just don’t want to see any of you get hurt. I like this group. They’re nice and accepting.”

Sholi deflates with a sigh. “It wouldn’t be like that. I dunno if Zevri told you, but I’m polyamorous. If anything ever happened between Zevri and I, it would be with Masa’s knowledge and permission.”

“Not what I meant, but good knowledge to have,” Augustine replies. “I just meant they’re new here. Is rushing into a relationship really something they should be doing?”

She leans forward, crossing her arms on her legs in front of her. “Maybe not, but… I really like them, and they seem to really like me. I dunno what the future holds for us, but I’d really like her and Zevri to be in it.”

Augustine studies her for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” Sholi arches an eyebrow. “I support your decision. Dunno if I agree with the rationale but I support it. I just hope it turns out better than your last relationship.”

So does Sholi. While they had all (minus Colette) met at a transgender meetup, Zevri, Colette, and Augustine had known each other before that. Even Blyss had been to the meetings a few times before Sholi arrived. As such, when they broke up, she wasn’t sure if she was still allowed to be friends with them, and it caused some tension. 

Zevri hadn’t minded them coming around, but Sholi was still hurting and seeing Zevri all the time hadn’t helped. It had taken her a few weeks to come around, and the promise that she wouldn’t have to see Zevri until she was ready.

In the end, the trans meetups hadn’t been successful and were ultimately dissolved, but their friend group remained intact. At least for the time being.

“Maybe you should start them back up again,” Sholi says suddenly. Augustine hums. “The trans meetups. They helped me, and maybe it would help Masa to meet people who are actively questioning rather than ones who seem to have all this shit figured out.”

Augustine snorts. “None of us have this shit figured out. We just think we do.”

“Still further along than Masa.”

“Fair enough. Maybe talk to Zevri though. It was kinda her idea in the first place. I just helped distribute signage.”

“I might do that,” Sholi muses. She wonders if it actually would be a good idea. The group had struggled the first time around with very few people coming to the meetings or actively trying to do anything in Limsa. It had mostly been a hang out spot for her current friend group as well as a few others who popped in once every now and again. Maybe if they advertised it more, put a sign in the local inn or something, the numbers would be better (and more consistent) this time around. “I just might do that.”

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She's very excited to see Masa.

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Introducing Sholi

Masa wanders through the streets of Limsa Lominsa, looking about with wide eyes at everything around her. As one would expect, this eventually gets her into trouble and she bumps into a miqo’te person. “Sorry,” she apologizes immediately. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

The woman smiles back at her. She’s in what Masa’s grandmother would consider skimpy clothing, a short skirt that barely seemed to cover her butt and a crop top. Masa thinks the outfit looks rather cute. “It’s fine. New here?”

Masa rubs the back of her head sheepishly. “What gave it away?”

“The wide-eyed wonder,” she replies simply. “I had the same look first time I came here.”

“You’re new here too?” Masa asks. Her eyes land on the fluffy white ears on the woman’s head, and she has the sudden impulse to touch them. This, however, she knows will not be welcome and refrains… no matter how soft and touchable they may appear.

The woman chuckles. “Sort of? I’ve been here for a few months. Long enough to know the lay of the land at least.”

“Do you know where the Arcanist’s Guid is?” Masa asks, deciding this would probably be better than wandering around helplessly until she stumbled upon the building she was looking for. She could wander helplessly after finding the Guild, thank you very much.

The stranger tilts her head. “I believe so? I probably don’t know the most straightforward way to it, but I can get you there.” She gestures to the bow on her back. “Magic’s not really my thing, but I’ve been there a couple times with friends who use it.”

Masa bounces up on her toes excitedly, hands clasped together in front of her. “Oh, that would be wonderful. Can I meet these friends of yours? I love magic, have ever since I was a child. I-”

The woman holds up her hands, laughing. “Whoa, there. Slow down. There’ll be plenty of time to talk. I’m Sholi, by the way. And yes, I can probably introduce you to my friends after you get done at the Arcanist’s Guild.”

Masa blushes softly. “Right. Sorry. I’m, uh, I’ve been told I can be over excitable at times.”

Sholi waves her hand in front of her. “No worries. Nothin’ wrong with being excited about a new place. What’s your name, darling?”

Masa blushes deeper. Her tail droops as she realizes she’s being awkward again. “Uh, right. It’s Masa. Masa Yukimura.”

“Pleasure to meet you. Now, let’s see if I can remember where that Arcanist’s Guild is,” she jokes. At least Masa thinks she’s joking. She probably is.

The pair walk the streets of Limsa Lominsa, chatting aimlessly as they pass by various buildings. Masa decides she really likes this woman, if only because she doesn’t mind listen to the chatter about nothing in particular. Not many people liked listening to her talk about her interests. Sure, Mama and Papa were always willing to listen, but they were her parents. They were supposed to feign interest in their children’s likes and dislikes.

Sholi clasps her hands behind her back, pushing out her bosom in a way that shouldn’t be as distracting as it is. Masa quickly returns her eyes to Sholi’s face before she can be caught staring. “It’s kinda interestin’, really.” Masa had noticed Sholi has a tendency to drop the g on -ing words, making her wonder where the other woman was from. Somewhere in the country, no doubt. “I know they say that every trans person knows they’re trans at a young age, but I didn’t.”

Masa blinks. Twice. “What?” She remembers how they’d gotten here. She’d (for some reason unbeknownst to her) brought up her recent confusion over her gender, and now this pretty woman was telling her she was trans. She didn’t look trans. “You?”

Sholi giggles, her eyes falling shut. It’s very cute and it shouldn’t be. “Yup. Well, sorta. I’m intersex. Got the chromosomes of a boy, but the body of a girl. Just without those pesky periods ladies always complain about. No uterus.”

“Interesting.” Masa has heard of the term in one of the many books she’d snuck away to read as a child, but as far as she knew, she’d never met anyone who actually identified with the term.

Sholi averts her eyes, tail drooping from where it had previously been waving contently. “Is that… that doesn’t make you uncomfortable, does it?”

Masa blinks. “What? No? Of course… I gave you that impression,” she realizes as she processes her earlier comment. “No. I just… I’ve never met anyone who… At least I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who… you know. That was their thing.”

The tail perks back up and resumes waving. “Oh. Well, in that case, I’m honored to be the first.”

Masa wonders if she normally brought this up on the first encounter with someone or if Masa was special. She’d like to be special, she thinks. “Yeah. Sorry I gave you that impression. I try not to judge anyone.”

“Anyone?” Sholi asks, eyebrow arched in disbelief. She looks around before pointing at a person in mismatched clothes, their top a horrendous shade of yellow while their pants were blue. It’s got to be a crime against fashion, but if that person liked it… 

“Well, yeah. I mean, people are so varied with different backgrounds and ways of viewing the world. Why should I be able to dictate what a person does or doesn’t do with their body?” Masa glances at the fashion disaster and chuckles. “I mean, it’s not the prettiest look, but if that makes them happy, what should my opinion matter?”

Sholi hums. She steps closer and drapes an arm over Masa’s shoulders, making her feel very warm despite the cool breeze wafting off the ocean. “Masa, I think I like you. You’re pleasant to be around.”

Masa’s confident she looks like a tomato at this point. “Ah, well, I, um, I-I like you too?”

Sholi’s eyes twinkle in amusement. “Why did that sound like a question?”

Yup, definitely a tomato. “Uh, I mean, I-I definitely like you. Sorry.”

Sholi continues to look amused as Masa hopes a hole opens in the ground to swallow them up. “No need to apologize.” She stops in her tracks, looking up at the building in front of them. There’s a sign hanging on the front that says Arcanist’s Guild. Masa can’t help but be disappointed despite this being her goal from the beginning. “I guess we’re here.”

“Yeah. Um,” she trails off, unsure what to say.

“I dunno how long you’ll be in there for, but if you like, I can see how many people would be willing to meet with you after you’re done. Maybe we can all have dinner together?”

Masa blinks then beams. “Yeah! Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Awesome. I’ll, uh, hm. I guess I’ll meet you out here in, say, an hour? If you need longer, just… well, I suppose you can’t let me know. Um,” Sholi peeks around to see who’s inside. “See that woman at the counter? I dunno know her name, but I know her moderately well. Tell her to give me a message if you need longer than an hour.”

Masa nods, committing the woman’s face to memory. It shouldn’t be too hard as long as the woman didn’t move from her spot while Masa was busy doing… whatever it was that Arcanist Guilds asked people to do. Would she be given books to read? A task to kill some dangerous creatures to prove her mettle? She wasn’t sure. “Okay. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Sholi takes a step back. “Well, I’ll, uh, see you in an hour. Try not to have too much fun without me.”

Somehow, Masa doesn’t think she could. Something about Sholi was bright and fun and kind. Part of what had taken them so long to find the Arcanist’s Guild was Sholi getting tasks from random people about town and fulfilling them. Like delivering a package to someone from someone else. “I’ll try my best.”

She reluctantly turns away from Sholi and enters the building, hoping this would be worth it. Just getting to see the city and meet a cute girl has made this trip more than worth it, but she can’t forget her ultimate goal here: learning to control her magic. And now she’d finally be getting the chance to do so.

[au-ra-babygirl]

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈PRIDE THEMED OC ASK GAME🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

I mostly go on vibes tbh.

Masa felt young-ish and is newly coming into themself away from their parents, so it made sense for them to experiment with their identity a bit. She's still uncertain of who she is and who they want to be, but Sholi is helping a lot. As for their sexuality, she hasn't exactly labeled it but would technically be panromantic demisexual.

Sholi felt like a woman to me, but not a cis woman. I have another intersex character on a different blog, and their condition (Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome) seemed like a good fit. Her sexuality is still unknown to me, but I think she leans lesbian. Maybe a bi lesbian?

Colette felt cis but not straight (very few of my ocs are cis and straight lol). Once I designed her, she gave me strong lesbian vibes, and I rolled with that.

Augustine is Colette's fraternal twin and I've wanted to write trans twins for some time now, so Augustine is a trans man who met the others at a trans meet up (I met some of my now closest friends through a local trans coalition, so I used that as a basis for their meeting) and introduced his sister to the rest of them. He mostly likes men, so I think he's a gay man.

Blyss is partly me genderwise. Lol. I've recently discovered I'm demifluid, and Blyss is a genderfluid person who's expression changes depending on the day (which is also kind of me; I exclusively use they/them pronouns but how I present kind of changes depending on the day). He's also likely pansexual

Zevri was interesting. I read up on veira culture and the fact that basically veira choose their sex fascinated me, so I wanted someone who had originally chosen one thing and ultimately decided on another. Her sexuality is something I'm also not entirely sure about. She's definitely sapphic, but beyond that, idk.

[au-ra-babygirl]

Sholi and Zevri

Sholi takes a deep breath as she approaches the stairway entrance to Zevri’s apartment. As much as she didn’t want to have this conversation, she knew she needed to. It didn’t have to be tonight though…

Oh, yes, it did. If she didn’t do it tonight, she’d find ways to keep convincing herself not to do it ever, and Zevri would never forgive her for screwing up their relationship (okay, that last bit might be an exaggeration, but she wasn’t entirely sure).

She forces herself to knock on the door and wait for an answer. “Come in!” Zevri calls from inside. Sholi opens the door, mildly surprised to find it unlocked at this hour, and finds Zevri sitting in a chair, legs curled under her as she nursed a glass of what looked like wine. “Sholi?”

“Hi.” She waves. Zevri sits her glass of wine down and rises. Her tunic barely covers her ass, and Sholi tries not to be distracted by it seeing as that and her small clothes are the only things Zevri is currently wearing. “Were you expecting someone? I can go if you were.”

Zevri shakes her head. “No. Just me and a bottle of wine,” she replies. She walks into the adjacent kitchen and grabs a second wine glass and the bottle. She holds the glass up. “Want some?”

“Uh…” She knows she should probably be sober for this conversation, but the idea of drinking wine with Zevri just like they used to sends her heart aflutter. “Sure.”

“You can say no, you know?” Zevari teases even as she pours the glass of red wine.

“I know.” Sholi takes the glass when offered to her. “I just want to drink with you tonight.”

“Does that mean the date went badly?”

Sholi shakes her head, sitting down on the lounge opposite of where Zevri’s chair is. She’s tense and awkward and hoping the wine will help with both of those things. “No. No, it went really well, I think.”

“Good, good.” Zevri resumes their previous seat in the chair, legs curled up under them. “So why are you here then?”

Sholi takes a moment to answer, staring down into her wine glass as if it offers the answers she seeks. “I… I realized something.” Zevri arches an eyebrow but doesn’t speak. “I… I know now that I wasn’t a very good girlfriend, and I didn’t communicate my needs well enough for you to understand what I wanted and didn’t want. And I pressured myself into doing things I wasn’t ready for. Things you may not have even been ready for. For that, I’m very sorry.”

Zevri doesn’t speak for a long moment, taking a sip from her wine glass instead. “It’s not that you weren’t a good girlfriend,” Zevri corrects. “It’s that you didn’t communicate things very well. You’re a great speaker, great at realizing things that others need, but poor at recognizing what you yourself want. Did you want to kiss me that first night?”

Sholi continues looking down at her glass, swirling it around a little. “Yes and no. I… I definitely wanted to kiss you, but-”

“But it was too soon?”

She glances up and nods. “I think so. You… you were the first person kind of like me that I’d ever dated. I wanted you to be happy, even at my own expense. That’s not a good partner. That’s a doormat.”

Zevri chuckles softly. “I wouldn’t say you were a doormat. You just weren’t good at articulating what you needed and wanted. That’s okay. It’s just something you need to work on.”

“It feels different now. I feel different now,” Sholi says. “I think Masa will be different.”

“Is it? It’s not been that long,” Zevri warns. “Are you sure you’re not jumping into things too fast?”

“I don’t think so. I want things to be different, that means they will be… right?”

Zevri swirls her glass around. “Doesn’t mean they will be. Have you actually worked on not being a people pleaser?”

Sholi scowls. “Must you word it like that?” Zevri shrugs. Sholi sighs heavily. “Not… kind of? I dunno. How does one work on something like that?”

“Having confidence in yourself is a good place to start.” Sholi looks up, confused. It’s Zevri’s turn to sigh. “Look, I know you have confidence in your bow and I know you think you’re good at talking to people, but those things aren’t confidence in yourself. They’re confidence in things around you.”

“My bow is me.”

“Not really. Your bow is a skill you’ve acquired through years of training and effort. It’s a start to being confident in yourself, but it’s not quite entirely there.” Zevri takes a sip of the wine. “You need to learn how to verbalize what you need. Don’t assume someone can read your mind. None of us have the Echo, that I know of at least, so you need to verbalize your needs.”

Sholi takes a long drink from the wine glass and sits it down a little rougher than intended. “And just how do I do that, huh? How am I supposed to do that?”

Zevri raises her wine glass and gestures to Sholi. “Like this right here. Tell Masa what you need and don’t need. I doubt they’ll know any better than you from what I’ve seen of them, so you need to talk to them. Figure this shit out together.”

“I should be able to figure it out by myself.”

“But you have a partner now. Talk to them. Tell them what you’re afraid of doing, and they can help you avoid it.”

“I’m trying to do that. I already told them about us and why you dumped me.”

Zevri sighs heavily. “I didn’t dump you. We broke up mutually. You said you understood.”

“And I do,” Sholi protests. “I do understand, and you were right to do it. Doesn’t mean I know what the fuck I need to be doing or how the fuck to go about a new relationship without screwing it up in the same way.”

“That’s your problem,” Zevri argues. “You think you understand everything everyone wants and how best to please them, but you don’t. You don’t know everything, and making yourself a godsdamned door mat doesn’t help anyone. Take charge in your relationship this time. Tell Masa what you need, what you want. Don’t make them second guess every move you make like I had to.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you second guess anything,” Sholi says, a little louder than intended. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

“And I would’ve been a hell of a lot happier if I didn’t feel like I had to be three steps ahead of you at all times,” Zevri argues, slamming her glass on the coffee table. “Sholi. I… I love you, I do, but you’re a godsdamned handful sometimes. You want people to be happy at the expense of yourself, and I get it. I get that being abandoned and the failed adoptions fucked you up, but I care about you. I want you to succeed with Masa where we failed. And to do that, you need to fucking speak up.

“Tell her when something isn’t right. You’re not ready. Whatever the case may be. Just talk to them the way you wouldn’t talk to me.”

“I’m talking to you now, aren’t I?” Sholi replies, significantly more bitterly than intended.

“You are, and I’m proud of you. I still think you have a lot to work on though.” Zevri grabs her wine glass and rises to refill it in the kitchen. “I don’t doubt that you’ve made some progress, but it’ll take time and effort to really get to the level you need to be at. Are you sure you’re ready for that? Are you sure Masa knows what they're getting into?”

Sholi feels tears blossom in her eyes and tries to blink them away. She would not be so useless as to cry during this conversation. She wouldn’t. Hopefully. “I’m trying. What more do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” Instead of going back to her chair, Zevri settles on the couch beside Sholi and wraps an arm around her waist. “I never wanted anything from you that you weren’t ready to give. I still don’t.”

“They know I’m polyamorous,” Sholi says, trying to focus on anything other than how good it feels to have Zevri’s hand against their side. “They’re okay with it.”

“That’s a start,” Zevri replies. They move their hand and settle it back on their lap. Sholi suddenly feels cold. “Now, keep doing that. Keep being honest about your intentions and what you need. I’m sure good things will come from this if you do. And if you hurt them, I can kick your ass.”

Sholi laughs despite herself. “You barely even know them.”

“Yeah, but I know you. I know how you behave. If you hurt them the way you did me, I’ll kick your ass for repeating the same patterns.”

She leans against Zevri’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“For being honest with me. I needed that.”

Zevri smacks her lightly across the back of the head. “Any time, babe.”

“They think you’re cute, by the way.”

“Hm? Who?”

“Masa. They think you’re cute.”

Zevri hums thoughtfully. “Yeah, they were kinda cute. I dunno if they’re my type or not though.”

“I, uh, thought maybe we could all be polyamorous together,” Sholi says weakly, hoping this isn’t a mistake. She’s made a lot of those with Zevri already and would hate for Masa to lose a chance to get to know this beautiful woman because of it.

Zevri snorts. “How about you two focus on each other for the time being. If your relationship seems to be going better than ours did, maybe I’ll give you both a chance to woo me.”

Sholi’s ears perk up and her tail begins waving against her will. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

[au-ra-babygirl]

First Date (Pt. 2)

The conversation flows as easily between them, and Sholi can’t help but be grateful for it. They talk a bit about her friends, Masa asking questions about them and expressing eagerness to see them again. When Masa says they’ve yet to explore Limsa Lominsa’s beaches, Sholi decides a beach day is in order. Probably over the weekend, which was several days away at this point but it gave her time to round everybody up and convince them this was for the best.

By the time their food is gone, it’s gotten dark outside and the stars shine brightly. It’s not Gridania, but it’s still nice and the breeze blowing in from the ocean feels nice after the warm day. It blows Masa’s hair into their face, and Sholi has to resist the urge to reach out and brush it behind their ear.

They walk around Limsa absently, not having a single destination in mind beyond avoiding the inn they were both currently staying in. After so many months of staying here, Sholi really needed to buckle down and find a place of her own, but that would mean giving up on going back to Gridania for the time being and she isn’t sure how ready she is to do that. She was definitely going back in the future, she just… wasn’t sure when.

“You okay?” Masa asks, rubbing their hands together.

Sholi hums, not realizing she’d been silent as her thoughts swirled around Gridania and Limsa. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m just… thinking about home.” Was Gridania still home? It hadn’t felt like it when she was being tossed around from foster home to foster home, each one claiming they’d be willing to adopt her but backing out at the last minute. At least until Ma came along and showed her that not all adults went back on their word. That she wasn’t completely unlovable.

Masa reaches out, their pinky finger so close she can almost feel it before they pull it away. “Is that good or bad?”

“It’s… complicated,” Sholi answers, not sure how else to respond. “It has a lot of good and bad memories, and moving out of the inn and into an apartment or something feels like I’m giving up on ever going back.”

They look down at the pier beneath their feet. “Oh.” They look back up at her. “Does it have to be one or the other? Can’t you have a home here and visit there when the mood strikes?”

Sholi sighs. “I mean, yeah, but… I didn’t come here with the intention of living here, but then Zevri and you came about and… I dunno. Part of me could see myself living here, and that kind of scares me since it’s so different from everything I’ve ever known.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

She realizes she’d spoken those exact same words in response to Masa’s gender confusion and feels almost annoyed that it’s being used against her now. “No. No, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just… complicated. I feel like I’m being torn between both loves and my polyamorous ass doesn’t care for it.”

Masa laughs, a sound that actually manages to make her feel a little better. “Maybe you could have a summer home here in Limsa?” She’s pretty sure they’re joking, but it’s not a bad idea either.

“Maybe.” She waves a hand dismissively, “But it’s not important to think about right now. I want to enjoy this time with you, not dwell on things that don’t need my immediate attention the way you do.”

They blush brightly at her teasing. “Well, in that case, let’s talk about me. Do you have any questions in mind?”

Sholi actually considers the question. There were a lot of things she wanted to know, but none were immediately coming to mind. “I dunno. I want to know all the things. What’s your favorite color? What do you like to do in your free time? What are your parents like?”

They blink. “Well, I really like the color red, but not, like, a red-red. More like a dark burgundy red. In my free time, I like to read and I enjoy cooking for my people, you know family and friends. As for my parents…” they trail off, tilting their head as they think. “Mama’s a dancer, but she loves studying magic in her free time, especially healing magic and the body. She always says in another life she would’ve been a healer, but dance called out to her. Papa’s a monk who went to Ul’Dah for training before returning home to Limsa Lominsa to help people. They met when the guy who ran the Adventurer’s Guild asked them to pair up to help with a pirate issue the town was having. They became friends and ended up being married within two years of meeting each other. 

“When Mama found out she was pregnant, they moved up North and settled down in a small farming community. They withdrew from the adventuring life when I was small, but as I grew up, Papa decided to start taking small local assignments to help people and start up a savings account since I’d been talking about one day traveling to Limsa since I was a wee one. Mama stayed home, seemingly content to be a homemaker for her family. She said her Pa had been killed in action when she was a kid, and she didn’t want me to grow up without at least one parent. Now that I’m here though, she might’ve taken it up again. I dunno.”

Sholi takes a second to process everything she’d been told, committing as much of it to memory as possible. “Ma was like that too. She was born and raised in Gridania, but she traveled to Limsa Lominsa as a teenager to learn about magic from the Arcanist’s Guild before returning home like your Papa did. She also learned a thing or two about archery from her folks, which is what she passed onto me since I don’t have much talent for magic. I quickly out-skilled her though, and she got me lessons from the local archer’s guild.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Masa asks.

Sholi shakes her head. “Nah, Ma couldn’t have children of her own, and apparently I was enough of a handful on my own without any other children giving her the runaround.”

Masa giggles. “Me either. Mama had complications after I was born and was forced to have a hysterectomy. She sorta pseudo-adopted all of my friends growing up though. She’s always willing to listen and offer our home to anyone in need.”

“She sounds lovely,” Sholi says honestly. “And this is the woman you think won’t approve of you being trans?”

They look sheepish. “It’s not that I think she won’t approve. It’s more that I’m scared of the changes it’ll bring. I’ve always been their little girl, y’know? What if me being trans or whatever changes that?”

“I don’t think it will,” Sholi says. Admittedly, she only knew what little Masa had offered about their parents, but she still didn’t think they’d explicitly disapprove. “I mean, you’re still the same Masa, just with different pronoun attached to your name.”

“I guess.” It’s clear that Masa doesn’t believe her, but she doesn’t know how else to reassure them. “Do you have another other relatives or is it just your Ma?”

Sholi recognizes the change of subject for what it is but decides to roll with it. “Not really. Had an uncle of sorts. He wasn’t related to Ma, but he looked after her and eventually me as well. Helped her teach me archery actually. You?”

“Uh, two aunts on my Mama’s side that I’ve never met, an aunt and uncle on my dad’s side, and Auntie Sylvie, a miqo’te woman they befriended during their adventuring days.”

Sholi’s eyes widen. “Damn. How come you’ve never met the two aunts?”

Masa shrugs. “Dunno exactly. Mama’s not close to her side of the family, so I’ve never met any of ‘em.”

“What about your papa’s?”

“Both died in the battle of Carteneau. Aunt was a healer, and Uncle was a monk like Papa.”

“Holy shit. I’m so sorry,” Sholi apologizes. She knows the platitude likely means nothing, but she still feels the need to say it, if only to apologize for bringing it up.

Masa waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t overly close to them anyway. They only came up to visit during holidays and such. I see Auntie Sylvie more than I ever saw them.”

“I see.” She’s not actually sure if that’s better or worse, but if Masa doesn’t want to talk about it, she’s not going to force the issue. 

A silence descends upon them as a result, and Sholi feels the need to steer them back toward the inn. She’d wanted tonight to be perfect, and here she’d gone and ruined it by talking about family shit. She didn’t even like talking about family shit given her own experiences with family! Sure, Ma was an alright person (actually, she was a great person), but that didn’t negate the three families who’d claimed they wanted to adopt her then sent her back to the orphanage.

By the time they make it back to the inn, conversation seems to be flowing as normal, but Sholi still can’t help but feel she ruined something with her questioning. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes as they reach Masa’s door. “I didn’t mean to sour the night.”

Masa blinks. “Sour? How did you sour the night?”

“I, uh, I brought up your aunt and uncle? You got quiet after that.” That wasn’t her imagination right? Masa genuinely had gotten quiet after she made the foolish, if unintentional, mistake of bringing up family.

They shake their head. “No. No, it wasn’t… it’s not that. I just… Like I said, I wasn’t close to them, so it didn’t really effect me either way. Whenever they’re brought up, I tend to think about Papa, though. He, uh, didn’t take it too well. Drank himself silly and had to be carried home by two escorts after he was cut off by the bartender. Mama was furious, even if she understood the reasoning behind it. It’s the only time I’ve ever really seen them fight.”

Sholi isn’t sure if this explanation makes her feel better or worse about bringing it up in the first place. “Still, I shouldn’t hav-”

“You couldn’t have known,” Masa interrupts. “And I’m kinda glad you’re curious about my family. If this,” they motion between the two of them with their finger, “goes anywhere, you’ll end up meeting them eventually. I want you to like them and vice versa, so it’s better that you bring up the awkward stuff with me than doing it with them.”

Still, not sure if that’s better or worse, so she chooses to cling to the idea that Masa wanted her to meet their parents. That was a positive sign, right? An early one, but a positive one. “Okay.”

They two hover awkwardly at the door for a bit, neither sure what to say or do. After a few moments, Sholi takes the plunge. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

Masa nods. “Me too.”

“Would you like to do it again soon? I’m supposed to help deal with a pirate situation tomorrow, but maybe the next day we could get together and hang out again?”

They beam. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

“Excellent. Well, um, I… I guess I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

Masa opens the door to their room but hesitates before entering. “Well, good night.”

“Good night,” Sholi replies. Masa enters the room fully and shuts the door behind them. Sholi sighs heavily. It wasn’t too late at this point, which meant she had a viera to visit. Hopefully, that would go as well as this did, but she’s not counting on it. She and Zevri weren’t exactly the types to go at each other's throats, but talking about their relationship tended to make Sholi feel weighed down and exhausted by the end of it. Hopefully, tonight would be different, but she wasn’t counting on it.

[au-ra-babygirl]

First Date (Pt. 1)

Sholi didn’t consider herself a nervous person. She was confident and extroverted and strong and none of those things lended itself to being a nervous person.

That said, she was very nervous about the idea of meeting Masa for their first real date. Yes, they’d hung out quite a bit in the days since meeting (since Masa’s very arrival in the city), but they hadn’t been on an official date yet. The very idea is a little intimidating if she’s being completely honest, if only because of how her last first date went.

Zevri was, unlike her, very knowledgeable about dating and had done quite a bit of it (not that she’d dated a lot of people either, just that she’d had more relationships as a whole than Sholi’s one experience with a boy she didn’t even remember the name of anymore). As such, she’d known right away what to do and where and when and how and all those other things Sholi wasn’t quite sure about.

Still, she’d told herself (and Masa) that this relationship would be different. In this relationship, she’d actually try to take charge and be confident and strong and all those other things Ma’s self-improvement books said to say about oneself in the mirror every morning (it was a little ridiculous in her opinion, but she also couldn’t deny that it seemed to work… at least a little bit).

She quickly changes into a tunic with leggings under it and hefts one of her smaller bows across her back. The odds of needing it tonight were slim, but one could never be too careful in this world. Besides, she’d promised a demonstration of her skills at some point. Maybe it would be tonight? Was late night training romantic or stupid?

Eh, she’d figure it out later.

She makes her way to Masa’s room at the inn and knocks on the door. When they answer, they’re wearing a similarly short dress with leggings under it. It’s not something she’d ever seen them wear before, and it looks very becoming on them. “You look nice. Really nice.” 

Masa blushes their cute little blush and smiles. “Thanks. I was hoping it would be suitable for tonight.”

Did that eliminate the idea of late night training? Possibly, but from what she knows of Arcanists, their skills are long range anyway, so maybe not entirely. Besides, she can’t help but notice Masa has their tome at their side, so maybe they had the same idea. Or they were being overly cautious like her. Either or.

She holds out a hand, wondering if Masa will take it. She does, and Sholi hopes her palms don’t start sweating as she leads them to a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant just outside of town. It’s not the fanciest place in the world, but she’s rather fond of the food here, and she hopes Masa will enjoy it just as much. “It’s not much, but there’s great food here,” she explains as they approach the rundown looking building.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Masa says politely. Sholi wonders if they’re humoring her.

She leads them inside and sits at one of the booths. A staff member immediately comes over and hands them a menu each, vowing to come back in a few minutes to take their order. She already knows what she’s planning to order (what she always tends to order when coming here), so she takes the time to subtly study Masa.

Their hair is short at the moment, cut in a jagged sort of pixie cut. At least, she thinks that’s what it is. Hair was never her specialty. She wonders what it’d look like grown out but doesn’t comment. Their eyes are a pinkish hue that’s rather pretty even in the less than ideal lighting. Unlike her, they don’t have a significantly sized scar covering half their face. She envies them. While no longer as self-conscious about it as she had been when it first happened, it still made her uncomfortable when she felt herself being stared at, always wondering if it was the scar or her face in general that was being looked at.

Masa’s tails waves contently behind them as they pursue the menu, seemingly unaware they’re being watched. Sholi smiles to herself, about to say something when the waiter returns carrying two glasses of water. He sits them down in front of the pair and takes their orders before scurrying off somewhere else. “So,” Sholi starts. She realizes as soon as she said it that it was the most awkward thing she could’ve said and tries to adjust. “You have really pretty eyes.”

Masa blushes once more, their skin turning a delicate shade of purple. “Thank you. I like your too.”

Given that Sholi’s were unique in that they were two different colors, she’s not used to them being approved of. People usually commented on how weird it was. “Thanks.” An awkward silence settles, and she curses herself. This was what she was trying to avoid. “Sorry. I’m… like I said, first dates aren’t my specialty.”

Masa chuckles. “It’s okay. I’m not used to them either, remember? Sorry if I’m being weird.”

“No,” Sholi immediately protests. “You’re not being weird at all. I was just thinking I was being awkward, and…” she laughs. “You know what, let’s start over. How was your day? Anything exciting happen?”

“Not really,” Masa admits. “I ran an errand for the Arcanist’s Guild and trained with one of their people, but… I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to learn about magic, but they insist on starting with the basics, and I already know those, which makes it hard to focus sometimes.”

“Which then gets you in trouble,” Sholi concludes. “I get that, I think. Did you learn the basics from a book or something?”

Masa looks sheepish. “Sort of, but also, like I said before, magic just comes naturally to me. Kind of hard to care about the basics when you can do it so easily.”

Sholi hums. “Now, I get it. Have you considered that those basics will help you more in the future? Nocking a bow is something anyone can do, but not everyone knows how to aim or shoot multiple at once.”

“I suppose. It’s just so hard to focus on it. I want to, but it’s just not… engaging or something.”

“Have you mentioned that to your mentor? Maybe they can change their lessons a bit to accommodate you?”

“... I hadn’t thought of that,” Masa replies, bringing a hand up to her chin thoughtfully. “I’m not good at talking to people… or admitting when something’s not easy for me.”

“Gifted kid?” Sholi asks. She hadn’t been one herself, had gotten to be the archer she is today through hard work and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, but she understood the concept in theory.

“That obvious?”

She chuckles. “Not exactly. Zevri told me she used to be one of those, and how hard it was to learn conjuring because of that.” Zevri had been able to learn how to command the elements fairly easy, but learning to heal was harder for her and she struggled because of that. Not having something come easily to her was foreign, so she struggled a lot with it in the beginning, which frustrated her to no end. “Or rather, the healing portion of conjuring.”

“So you’re saying if I don’t study and understand the basics of my magic now, I’ll struggle a lot more in the future when it builds upon those magic practices?”

Sholi nods. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s my understanding, and please take this with a grain of salt since I’m no mage, but it’s my understanding that all magic is built upon the basics. It’s like learning to count to four before attempting two plus two, I think.”

She watches Masa’s face. They seem to understand what she’s staying, which was hopefully accurate since it was mostly just something she pulled out of her ass. It made sense though now that she took a moment to think about it. It was kind of like she said before: learning to nock and shoot a basic arrow from a standard bow before escalating to better bows and more trick shots. She could calculate the best angle to shoot a target at now, but she didn’t get that good overnight. It took a lot of time and effort.

“I guess so,” Masa says after a few moments of thought. “I mean, I get what you’re saying, but that doesn’t help me in the moment when my mind’s drifting off to something else while it’s being explained.”

Sholi leans her elbow on the table, propping her chin up with her palm. “I think you should talk to your teacher. Tell them that their current style of teaching just doesn’t work for you, and you need them to do something to make it more engaging. I dunno what that might be, but I’m sure they can come up with something. The best teachers always can.”

“I guess so.” Masa crosses her arms on the table and rests her chin atop them. “It’s just so hard. How do I tell someone they’re not doing good enough?”

“It’s not that they’re not doing good enough, though,” Sholi says. She takes a moment to think about how to word her next statement. “It’s more… everybody learns in different ways, right?” Masa nods, clearly not understanding where this was going. “Well, they’re just not choosing the right method for you. Maybe they learned best using the manner they’re teaching, but not everyone will. Some learn best by doing, which might be what you need.”

Masa buries their head in their arms. “I guess so,” they reply, voice muffled. “It’s just hard.”

“I know, but telling someone what we need isn’t always easy, especially when they might misinterpret it.” Oh, gods, she was an asshole. And a hypocrite. Why hadn’t she realized she was being an asshole? She doesn’t notice as Masa looks up and blinks in confusion at the expression on her face. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Huh?”

“That’s exactly what I was doing to Zevri. I wasn’t communicating my needs the way she wanted and needed me to, which certainly explains why she dumped me.” She realizes who she’s talking to and where they are. “Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about this right now.”

Masa shakes their head. “No, no. I… if it’s weighing on your mind, I want to hear about it.”

Sholi buries her face in her hand. “It’s not that it’s weighing on me. I kinda just realized it.” How had she never seen this before? She had done the exact thing she was telling Masa not to do. “Gods, I’m an idiot… and I probably owe her an apology.” She definitely owed her an apology. Maybe tomorrow. Or tonight if it wasn’t too late when she and Masa parted ways. Either or.

Masa reaches out a hand and places it over Sholi’s. They blush as she looks down at it. “S-sorry. Is this… is this okay?”

She smiles softly, feeling warm at the gesture. “It is.”

They smile warmly. Her heart flutters a little at the sight. “Okay.”

They stay like that for a few long moments before the waiter arrives with their food. Sholi smiles at him in gratitude and watches him leave before digging into her meal. It wasn’t as good as Gridanian food, but it was still pretty good. A lot more fishy than she’s used to, but she supposed she’d develop a taste for it eventually. Hopefully.

[au-ra-babygirl]

Dinner with Friends (Pt. 2)

Dinner continues to pass smoothly and before long the dinner is over. This time, Augustine and Colette are determined to pay for the meal, and since no one else is protesting, Masa decides to let it slide this time. Maybe one day they’d be wealthy enough to pay for everyone’s meal, but until that day came, she would have to accept the generosity for what it was.

As everyone ventures off, Masa is left alone with Sholi. They walk around absently before landing at the beach. Sholi bends down to take off her shoes, feeling the cooling sand beneath her toes. Masa does the same. “Tonight was fun,” Sholi says after a brief moment of silence.

Masa nods. “It was. Can I ask though, are all your friends, uh, trans or did you just invite the ones who were to meet me?”

Sholi laughs. “No. No, most of my friends are. Colette is the token cis. She is gay though, so there’s that.”

“Did you do that on purpose?”

“Not exactly.” Sholi puts her hands behind her back in what shouldn’t be a distracting way but is. “When I first came here, I was lonely and wanted to make some friends who wouldn’t look at me weird for being intersex. I found a notice on the marketboard one day asking for trans folk to meet up among their own kind and just talk. At first I didn’t think it was for me, but after a little consideration, I figured the worst they could do was tell me intersex didn’t count. So I went and ended up meeting Zevri, who introduced me to the others.”

“Zevri’s the viera, right?” Masa double checks. “I think I got everyone’s names but I’m not entirely sure.”

Sholi giggles. “Yeah, Zevri’s the Viera. Colette and Augustine are the Elezens, and Blyss is the Roegadyn.”

“A strange assortment you have there,” Masa comments. “I mean, not… not weird, just… I don’t think I’ve even known so many different races to interact together, you know?”

Sholi hums. “I get it. Gridania and Limsa are pretty diverse compared to a lot of places. And now we have an Au Ra friend.”

They blush once more. Were they always this blushy or did Sholi bring it out in them like no one else could? “I’d like that. To be friends.” And maybe more, but it felt like rushing things to say as much now. Or maybe that was how normal people did it? She wasn’t sure.

“I would too,” Sholi replies. “I, uh, I’d also be open to being more than that.”

Masa blinks. “More than… you would?”

Now it’s Sholi’s turn to look flustered. “I mean, only if you’re interested. I just think you’re really cute, and I’d like to get to know you better. Regardless of whether it’s as friends or something more.”

“I think I’d like that,” Masa says after a moment of processing. “I, um, I’ve never really… dated though, so I’m not sure what you’d be expecting from me.”

Sholi nods. “That’s fine. Honestly, I haven’t dated all that much myself.”

“Really? I would’ve thought… I mean-”

Sholi laughs. “I get it. I mean, I have dated. Uh,” she side-eyes Masa, seeming to debate whether she should admit what she’s about to say. Her ears and tail droop. “I dated Zevri for a while, but we decided we were better off as friends.”

“You did?” Masa hadn’t noticed anything about their interactions that suggested they were once more than friends, but they supposed that could happen. Just because the books they had read tended to involve nasty breakups didn’t mean all breakups were nasty.

“Yeah. It sucked at the time, but I guess I understand it now. I wasn’t… ready, in some sense, to be in a relationship. I don’t know if I am now either, but it feels right. Something about you feels right.”

Masa blushes brightly once again. She wants to jump for joy and declare yes, they’ll be her… girlfriend? Date… person… what did one call a girlfriend that might not be a girl? “What makes you think this will be any different? I don’t… I probably wouldn’t know if something’s amiss.”

She sighs slowly, looking up at the starry night sky. “I dunno. It just… it feels different. With her, it was like jumping into the deep end of a whirlpool. It was fast and chaotic and I loved her too quickly. She needed me to slow down, and I wasn’t sure what I needed. I just wanted her, you know? With you, slow feels like it might be a good thing.”

“Should I be insulted?” Masa jokes.

“What? No! No, I… why are you laughing?”

Masa giggles at how quickly Sholi seems to get flustered by her terrible joke. “I didn’t mean to imply anything. I just… I dunno. Humor makes scary situations seem less scary sometimes.”

“Scary?”

“Maybe not scary exactly, but… new. Very new.”

“You know,” Sholi says, linking their arms together. “You thought I’d dated a lot before but you haven’t. Does that mean you’ve never dated anybody or…?”

Masa shrugs. “Kind of? I think I technically dated someone when I was younger, but it didn’t feel like much of a date. Just kinda us hanging out and doing things together that newly teenage kids do.”

Sholi nods slowly. “I see. Does that mean you’ve never been kissed?”

“It does,” Masa admits sheepishly. “I know I’m too old to have never had a first kiss, but-”

“Nonsense. You’re not too old. You’re, what, in your twenties? A first kiss shouldn’t have to happen when you’re a teenager, still learning what you want in the world.”

They suppose that made sense, but they still feel awkward. Sholi, despite claiming to have little dating experience, had at least done that much. What did that say about them? That they were frigid? They didn’t want to be considered frigid. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. There’ll be plenty of time for you to get a first kiss in the future, if you want one that is.”

They glance around thoughtfully. “I think I’d like one. Someday.”

Sholi nods. “Then someday you shall have one. There’s just one more thing I want to clear up.” Masa tilts their head curiously. “I, um, have you ever heard the term polyamorous?”

Masa thinks back through the expansive dictionary in their head, trying to remember if they’d heard that word anywhere before. It takes a moment, but it eventually comes to them. “It means liking more than one person, right? Like, dating them and stuff.”

Another nod from Sholi. “It does. I, uh, ever since I was young, I’ve considered myself to be as such. Is that a deal breaker?”

“Are you dating anyone right now?” Masa finds themself asking. 

Sholi shakes her head. “Not at the moment. I, uh, I do still love Zevri though. More than I probably should given we broke up months ago.”

Masa does some mental math without meaning to. Sholi had said she moved here a few months ago, but they broke up a few months ago. It couldn’t have been a long relationship, but they suppose they can understand still desiring someone you only dated a short period of time.

“Yes,” Sholi says as Masa realizes they haven’t commented yet, “it was a very short relationship, but it was a whirlwind of one. I… I just wanted someone who understood me and my situation. She’s perisex, the opposite of intersex, but she’s trans, so I thought maybe she’d get it. And she did, but… I pressured myself into rushing things, and she caught on. Realized I was in over my head and broke up with me.”

“Did you love her then? Or did that develop later?”

“Little of both, if that makes any sense. I knew I cared for her and wanted to please her, but I was insecure and not a very good partner. I fell more in love with her after we broke up because of how kind and generous and beautiful she is.”

“Would it help or make things worse if I said I found her attractive?”

Sholi laughs, bright and loud. Nearby a hermit crab scuttles back into the ocean. “I’m not sure. I think it makes it better though. I could see the two of you getting along pretty damned well, all things considered.” She rests her head against Masa’s shoulder. “If you wanted to make a move on her too, once you get comfortable that is, I wouldn’t be opposed. Maybe we could all be polyamorous together? But I’m getting ahead of myself. This is what I did before too, and it didn’t help.”

“I think I’m starting to understand,” Masa comments. “It’s less about you pressuring yourself and more about getting too excited and jumping into things without thinking.”

“I think you might be on to something,” Sholi says after a long moment. “If I start doing that to you, please let me know. I don’t… I understand why we broke up, but it still hurt like a bitch, y’know?”

Masa nods. “Of course. I’m… I’m not good at recognizing things like that, but I will do my best to call it out if and when I see it.”

Sholi smiles. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

[au-ra-babygirl]

Tarot Reading

Note: The tarot deck described in this is the Crystal Tarot, which was my first desk and remains one of my absolute favorite though I really only use it for writing things like this.

~~

Despite choosing to be a girl at a young age, Zevri never fully abandoned her need to be alone in the wilderness like the men of her kind. As such, sometimes, as much as she loved Sholi and all of their friends, being dragged on an excursion was a little… less than pleasant.

Today, it was her, Sholi, and Masa, which she wouldn’t be surprised if this was a Sholi attempt at encouraging something between her and Masa, and they were absently walking around the streets of Limsa Lominsa. At first, she tries to sort of hang near the back, listening to Sholi and Masa chatter instead of conversing herself.

That, unfortunately, is not good enough for Sholi, and she reaches back to grab Zevri’s arm and drags her in-between the pair. She gives Sholi an unimpressed look, getting a grin in return. Blasted miqo’te knew exactly what she was doing.

They make their way to the plaza and sit on one of the benches, Sholi perched on top of the rail more so than the actual bench itself, giving Masa and Zevri more room to sit comfortably. The giant crystal in the middle of the plaza glows as always, and on the opposite side of it, she can see a crowd gathering around something. She’s a little curious, but not enough to actually get up and move, much less point it out to Sholi (who would then make her get up and move).

Unfortunately, Sholi seems to spot it herself and points toward it. “What’s that?”

Masa looks at the crowd as well. “I dunno.”

“Let’s go check it out.” Sholi steps onto the bench and jumps down from her perch. Fortunately for Zevri, Masa reaches out to grab her wrist before Zevri can do it herself.

“Um, maybe we can wait until the crowd’s a little smaller? Please?”

Sholi glances between the two, seeming to realize (or remember) that neither are big crowd people. “Okay,” she says, placing a hand atop Masa’s and gently prying it off. “How about I go check it out, and come back to tell y’all what it is. If it seems interesting, we’ll all go look together.”

Masa glances at Zevri, who shrugs. She supposed if it genuinely sounded interesting, going to check it out wouldn’t hurt. At least this way, she can stay seated away from the mass of people a little while longer. “Okay.”

Sholi beams then darts off, making her way to the crowd of people. Zevri can see her tap someone on the arm and probably ask what’s happening. Even from this distance, she can see Sholi’s eyes light up as she bounces on her tippy toes to see what’s happening. The grin she sports feels almost foreboding.

“We’re going to have to go over there, aren’t we?” Masa asks, seeing the same thing Zevri is.

She nods with a sigh. “Yeah, probably. Whatever it is, it’s got her all excited.”

About the time she finishes her sentence, Sholi bounds back over, grinning maniacally. “It’s a tarot reader. Remember the bun enby from the meeting? They’re an astrologian and giving tarot readings.” They hadn’t mentioned that at the meeting nor had they worn anything that suggested as much, so Zevri’s actually surprised by this news.

“Huh. Interesting. Also, don’t call them bun,” she adds as an afterthought. “Bun and bunny are only for if you’ve been given permission to use them.”

Sholi nods. “Right. Sorry. Can I call you bun?”

Zevri doesn’t answer that. The idea of Sholi calling her a bunny appeals in a way that it shouldn’t given that they’re no longer dating, and she definitely doesn’t want the miqo’te to know that. “Let’s go check it out.”

The trio walks over to the gathering of people, all having to bounce on their tiptoes to see over the crowd. There, in the center, is the viera enby from their meeting. One whose name Zevri can’t recall at the moment.

“Eir!” Sholi waves at the viera, who gives a small wave in return before holding up a finger to signal she should wait a moment.

They disappear back into the crowd, unable to see over the taller people standing in front of them. Sholi pouts before telling the others to wait here while she tries to wiggle around to get a better view.

Before Sholi can return, the crowd parts and the viera comes through, telling people they’ll be back to giving tarot readings after a quick lunch. There’s a murmur of disappointment through the gathered crowd, but it slowly begins to disperse, leaving only Zevri, Masa, Sholi, and the viera who she assumes is Eir.

“Hello, new friends,” Eir says as they tuck their deck into a small pouch on their side. “Would you like to get a bite to eat with me?”

“Sure,” Sholi answers for them all. If Masa cares, they don’t comment, and Zevri would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little hungry after all the walking around they’d done today. Lunch it is then.

As they make their way to a restaurant, Zevri confirms that their name really is Eir. It was a name that sounded familiar to her, though she couldn’t place where from. She doubted she knew this specific person before the meeting, but maybe she’d known someone who shared the same name back in the forest?

They chat with Sholi and Masa about random things, seemingly realizing that she isn't interested in conversation right now. Good. She liked when people recognized her desire to avoid small talk.

They make their way to the same tavern they’d held the meeting at and sit in one of the booth, she and Masa on one side with Sholi and Eir on the other. Once their orders are taken, the conversation somehow switches back to what Eir does. “So how’d you get into tarot? And all this other stuff?”

Eir takes the deck from his side pouch and absently begins shuffling it. “It was sort of something I’d always been interested in. I liked being able to help people, and tarot is one way to go about that, even if it’s less about being a fortune teller and more about recognizing the way people act and think.”

“How so?” Masa questions. “I thought it was all magic?”

Eir chuckles. “Not exactly. Every card has a different meaning, but those meanings are universal across all tarot decks, and they delve less into fortune telling than just… basic psychology. Take The Fool for example.” They riffle through the deck until they find the card they’re looking for and place it on the table. It shows an image of a girl precariously on the edge of a cliff, butterflies flying all around her.

“This card is about being at the beginning of a journey. You’re young, maybe, or naive, whether in general or about the situation at large. I’m not telling you that a journey is about to happen, just that you’re at the start of one already, and the person can interpret that as they see fit. Maybe they already know the journey they’re on, maybe they haven’t recognized it until I spoke about it. Either way, I didn’t predict anything. I just helped someone realize what was already there.”

Sholi looks impressed, and Zevri can wager a guess that she’s never thought about it that way before. Not that Zevri had either. She’d always dismissed it as nonsense, but… if Eir’s way of looking at it was one way to think of it, maybe she could get into it after all. “Wow. Would it be rude to ask if you’d do a reading for me?”

Eir laughs. “Not at all. Do you have twenty gil?” Sholi rummages through her side pack until Eir places a hand overtop hers. “If you’ll allow me to consider you a friend, I’ll do it for free.”

Sholi’s eyes light up. “Of course! I love making new friends.”

Their own eyes light up, and Zevri wonders if they’ve ever had someone agree to that so quickly. It’s a little sad, but she supposes she can understand. She’d had a hard time making friends after years spent in the forests living as a sort of boy-girl, filling the viera role of a man but bearing the clothes and soul of a woman. She wondered if they ever felt similar. “Okay!”

They tilt themself toward her, shuffling the deck as they do. After a few moments, they lay the deck on the table in thirds. “Alright, pile these back into one deck, however you prefer.” 

Sholi tilts her head, grabbing the middle set and placing it atop the third before placing the combined set on top of the first. “Like this?”

“Perfect.” They fan the cards out in their hand. “Now pick three and place them face down in a row how you see fit.” Sholi does that as well. “Now let’s see what you got.” They flip over the first card. The card shows a girl in a tree, playing a mandolin with Page of Pentacles written across the bottom. “The Page of Pentacles. This is the manifestation of dreams, reaching goals, and obtaining success. A good first card to draw. It’s a sign that you’re either well on your way to achieving something and have made good strides to do so.”

They flip over the second card. It’s a reversed image of a fairy-like woman holding a sword in one hand and a scale in the other. She stands in the middle of a river bed of rocks. Eir frowns a little. “Reversed Justice means there’s injustice abound. Perhaps you’re not being completely honest about something or made a decision for selfish reasons?”

They flip the third card. This image shows a relatively androgynous figure with red wings, flanked above by two ravens. They hold a scepter in one hand and a cup in the other while their cloak is held together by a pentacle charm. “The Magician is also reversed. This shows someone who abuses their power, is domineering, or perhaps lacks disregard for the feelings of others. They may hold an air of entitlement.

“All these together suggests that you’re on the right track to achieving something great, but you need to be aware that it may come at a cost. You need to be honest about your feelings and intentions. Don’t abuse the gift you’ve been given.”

Sholi’s eye twitches in a way that Zevri recognizes as her being annoyed. “I’ve been doing all of that,” she states through gritted teeth.

Eir looks taken aback. They seem to deflate in acceptance of something. “My apologies. I didn’t realize I was reading for a sensitive subject.”

Sholi takes a deep breath and sighs heavily. “No. It’s not you. It’s just… something that I’ve heard a lot lately.” She stares at Zevri in particular, who looks back. She refused to feel guilt for warning Sholi about the possibility of ruining things with Masa if she wasn’t careful. Seems like Eir’s card were telling her the same thing. For something that wasn’t supposed to tell fortunes, it seemed to be doing a damn good job of reading Sholi’s.

Eir looks between the three of them. “Should… is this something you’re about to tell me is none of my business?”

The trio look amongst each other, silently thinking about whether letting Eir in was a good idea. In the end, Masa decides to do it for them. “I think it’s about us. Sholi and I are dating, see, and Zevri and Sholi used to date, but it ended… complicatedly.”

Eir nods. “I see. And I take it you’re afraid that whatever happened between you and Zevri will interfere with you and Masa?” They ask Sholi.

“Something like that.”

“May I offer a bit of advice?”

Sholi shrugs. “Haven’t you been doing that?”

Eir opens their mouth then closes it. “I suppose so, but in this case, I think communication really is your only way of getting past this.” Sholi glares at them. They hold their hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. You’ve probably heard that a million times, but that doesn’t make it any less true. The Magician here is a warning. That if you give into reversed Justice and lie about things or hide things, you’ll become the abuser in reversed Magician. You don’t want that, and the only way to avoid that is to communicate with your partner. Tell then you’re afraid of repeating past mistakes and do your best to continue to do so.”

“I’ve been doing that,” Sholi counters, a little more hostile than Zevri suspects she intended to be. “I’ve been trying to do that and everyone keeps telling me that I’m not doing it enough. What do you want me to say? That I’m terrified of losing everyone who loves me? That I’m scared to communicate because what if I say the wrong thing and it costs me everything? I-” she seems to realize what she’s been saying and clamps her mouth shut, crossing her arms over her chest as her face warms. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. That’s progress,” Zevri replies before Eir can say the wrong thing. “That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to do. To admit to yourself then to Masa.”

Sholi looks down, still blushing at her outburst. “I… I never thought…” She looks up at Eir. “I was left on a doorstep when I was a baby,” she admits, sounding more monotone than Zevri thinks is healthy. “I was almost adopted three times before I turned nine, but every family found something wrong with me and sent me back to the orphanage until I met the woman who’d become my Ma and she adopted me.”

Eir’s eyes soften in sympathy. “I’m sorry. I know I can’t change the past, but that’s a horrid thing for anyone to go through.”

Sholi snorts. “Yeah. You’re telling me. I remember them too. I remember feeling sad and lost and hopeless each and every time they dropped me off again and again and again. It… it was rough, but I survived it. I’m fine.”

“Except maybe you’re not fine?” Masa adds, wincing a little as all eyes turn to them. “I-I mean, have you ever really learned to deal with it? Have you ever really talked about it with anyone? Your Ma? A friend? Partner? Anyone?”

She continues to look down. “Not really. I just… thought I figured it all out. I thought I’d processed and accepted it all already.”

“Maybe you haven’t so much as acknowledged it as you have suppressed it,” Eir offers. “Those aren’t the same thing, after all.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Sholi sighs. She rubs her arm self-consciously. “I should maybe get on that, shouldn’t I?”

“I know of someone here in Limsa Lominsa that might be able to help.” Sholi turns her attention to Eir. “He’s a rather good doctor. Good at listening to people talk and dishing out advice.”

“A doctor that listens to you talk?” Sholi sounds skeptical.

Eir shrugs. “You don’t have to go to him specifically. I just wanted you to know there are people out there who run support groups for people like you. They can help. They’re also how I figured out I wasn’t a boy or a girl. It’s why I showed up to your meetings. I wanted to help people who’d been like me at some point or another.”

Sholi looks down again. “Maybe. I-I’ll at least consider it.”

[au-ra-babygirl]

Training and Cuddles

In the weeks since Masa’s arrival in Limsa Lominsa, Sholi has grown closer and closer to them. They’d finally gotten around to going on more than one date, and Sholi had done a little bit of sparring with Masa, learning that they truly were as skilled with magic as they claimed to be.

It was kind of fascinating to watch actually, Sholi discovers. Biscuit (which was an adorable name for the creature Masa summons) was a lot stronger than it looked, though it still wasn’t much of a match for Sholi’s skill with a bow. However, she had no doubt whatsoever that Masa would one day be capable of great (and possibly terrible) things with their magic. It was awe inspiring and, if she was being totally honest, incredibly hot to watch.

On one of their more recent dates, Sholi takes them out sparring again. When she was younger, her ma had also taught her a little about hand-to-hand combat, which she uses against Masa now, wanting them to learn about it in case they’re ever in a situation where their magic is inaccessible or someone manages to get past their defenses.

She teaches Masa how to form a fist first, reminding them that the thumb is meant to go on the outside after they nearly break it the first time they throw a punch her way. Masa corrects and the next time is much more effective, knocking her hand back a bit without damaging their body.

Once they have that down, she teaches them a few new maneuvers and attempts to put them into practice during a combat situation. By the end, Masa is sweating buckets kneeling on the ground, hands braced against their knees as they breathe heavily. “C-can we stop now?”

Sholi straightens up from her crouched position and stretches, hands on her back as she leans backward and pops it in a very satisfying manner after their training session. “Sure thing. I think we’ve tortured you enough,” she jokes.

Masa gives her a very unimpressed look. “I hate you so much sometimes.”’

Sholi laughs. “It was a good workout though. You need more close combat training.”

“I will never need close combat training,” Masa counters. “I’ll always have magic.”

“Will you though? What happens if you exhaust your aether supply? Or someone has more powerful magic than you? Or if you-”

“Okay, okay. I get it,” Masa huffs, forcing themself to their feet. They stumble slightly as their legs wobble dangerously, but they don’t fall. “I need to learn how to fight without magic just in case. No need to keep describing scenarios.”

Sholi nods. “Fine. I’m still going to be training you in this stuff, though.”

“Of course you are.” Masa dusts off their clothing, a tunic and leggings, as they continue glaring at her.

“Haven’t you ever trained like this before?” Sholi can’t help but ask. She got the impression that Masa was only used to using their magic, but surely they’d done at least a little training with their parents before? Both were martial types from what Sholi remembered. That was a thing parents did with their children, right?

“Not really.”

“You worked on a farm. With martial types.” Sholi can’t fathom that their parents never tried to teach them anything like this.

“We lived in a peaceful area,” Masa defends. “There was no need for me to learn this stuff.”

“So? Why not train you a little on their form of combat if they knew you wanted to go to Limsa Lominsa?”

Masa shrugs. “No idea. Maybe they thought my magic would be good enough?”

Sholi still doesn’t understand. Her Ma had been an Arcanist like Masa, yet she still knew how to shoot a bow and fight hand-to-hand. Was that weird? She hadn’t thought so, but maybe she should’ve. Maybe Ma was the unusual one? “Weird.”

“Can we get something to eat now?”

“After we do some cool down stretches,” Sholi says before leading them through the exercises their Ma had taught them as a youth. It doesn’t take long, but Masa complains the entire time, which is a little irritating but she supposes she can understand if Masa’s never done this sort of thing before.

When the exercises are done, Sholi helps them back to their feet and keeps a hold of their hand. It’s a little hot and sweaty, but it doesn’t bother her too much. “Is this okay?”

“My palms are sweaty,” Masa points out needlessly.

“I know. Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

Despite this, Masa pulls their hand away self-consciously. “Sorry.”

“No worries.” They walk back to the apartment Sholi had finally invested in a couple weeks ago. The inside is spacious with an open floor plan with a lounge area and a kitchen connected to each other while a hallway led to a bedroom and bathroom. It was a little annoying having to go through the bedroom to get to the toilet, but it was manageable. It worked for a first apartment anyway.

Masa curls in the corner of one of the couches, their feet under them. “Can you cook or do you want me to?”

“I can cook,” Sholi confirms. “Not as good as you and Augustine, but I’m not completely hopeless.”

While Masa lounges on the couch, Sholi heads into the kitchen and looks through the cabinets until she finds the makings of a decent meal. A fish given to her by Blyss after one of their beach days and a few different vegetables from the local market. The meal she creates isn’t perfect, but it’s edible and probably pretty filling after a long day of physical training.

As they eat Masa seems to perk back up to their usual cheerful self. They talk about the training, which was something Masa could now admit they appreciated, and home. Masa had recently sent another letter off to their parents in response to one they’d received.

(She’d also learned that Masa told their parents about their relationship, and while her parents were confused and surprised they’d gotten involved so quickly, they were ultimately accepting… much like Sholi suspects they’d be accepting of Masa’s gender identity as well.)

That reminds Sholi she hasn’t sent a letter to Ma recently. She should probably do that. Ma didn’t deserve to have her daughter drop off the face of the planet. Besides, Sholi actually liked her ma. She should definitely make a point to write to her in the near future.

She’s pleased to learn that Masa has gotten used to being called they/them and is rather enjoying being called as such. “Do you want to be strictly they/them or is they/she or she/they still a thing?”

“I think I like they/she a little more than she/they, but I’m still not entirely sure,” Masa admits. “It’s weird. I don’t think I hate being called she, but I really like it when y’all call me a they.”

“I mean, you can be both,” Sholi replies. “Blyss just kinda uses whatever the fuck feels right for that day, and we all support that. We support you too.”

Masa sits their finished plate aside and wraps their arms around their legs. “I know, but it still feels weird. I spent so long being Masa the girl that being Masa the enby feels… nice but still weird.”

Sholi nods. “I get that. I was always a girl, so learning that I had the chromosomes of a boy was jarring. I still wanted to be a girl though, and once I worked through that, I’m now proud to be an intersex woman.”

“I wish I could be proud to be whatever I am,” Masa replies.

Sholi pats their knee. “You will be one day. I’m sure of that.” Her journey wasn’t as spectacular as some other trans people’s, but she wasn’t exactly trans either. She just considered herself a woman, even if she technically was a trans woman. Sort of? She still wasn’t sure of the technicality sometimes.

“I hope so. I want to be proud of myself.”

She leans her head against their knees, chin resting in the space between them. “You will be,” she says again. “It might take some time and effort and a lot of thought, but you’ll get there.”

Masa giggles. They reach out toward her ears but don’t touch them. “Can I please touch them? I’ve wanted to know if they’re as soft as they look since the day we met,” they admit.

“Really?” Sholi isn’t too surprised. A lot of people liked miqo’te ears and tail, and if she had a gil for every time someone tried to touch them without her permission, she’d be a rich cat. “I’m okay with that.”

“You are?” Sholi nods once more, preparing herself to have her ears touched. She genuinely didn’t mind it from Masa, but it always took a little preparation to get ready for them to be touched. “Okay.”

Masa finally touches them, their hands soft and warm against her ears. Her ears twitch involuntarily at the feel. Masa’s eyes sparkle. “So soft!”

Sholi chuckles. “They are.” Her tail flickers in contentment behind her, as does the tip of Masa’s. “Wanna touch the tail too? It’s fluffy.”

Masa reaches over Sholi’s back to touch the tip of her tail. “It is!” She strokes it in a way reminiscent of something else Sholi shouldn’t be thinking about, and she tries to redirect her thoughts to other things. Things not involving stroking her tail.

“Can, uh, can you not stroke it like that? I know I said you can touch it, but the way you’re doing it is, um, distracting,” Sholi admits a little reluctantly. “It feels good, but not the kind of good you want me to be feeling right now.”

Masa blinks then blushes brightly as they seem to realize how they’d been petting her tail. “R-right. Sorry. So sorry.”

Sholi shakes her head. “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s just a little awkward and, um, for lack of better word, intimate. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable if you have a good sense of smell like I do.”

“Why would I… oh! Oh, I, uh, sorry? I didn’t… I don’t…”

She grabs the hand that had previously been at her tail and laces their fingers together. “It’s okay. Like I said, I didn’t know how comfortable you’d be if you could smell, uh, yeah. I know you’re not ready for anything along those lines, and frankly, neither am I. That’s why I’m warning you what you’re doing to my tail.”

“Right. Thank you.” Masa continues rubbing her ears, though they’re still blushing at the thought of what they did to her tail.

Sholi nudges their legs apart and settles herself more comfortably between their legs, resting her head on their chest. It’s soft and warm, and she’s content here. A long day of training and now cuddling with her datemate felt like a pretty damn good day to her. She wonders if she could convince Masa to spend the night here and let her cuddle like this all night. “I like you,” Sholi says after a long moment of peaceful, content silence.

“I like you too,” Masa replies.

“Can we stay like this all night?” Sholi asks after another pause. “You’re comfy.”

Masa chuckles. “Is that wise? You’ll wake up uncomfortable.”

“Worth it,” Sholi counters. “Staying with you all night would be worth it.”