#shoopydoop

[sneggley]

I like it when I spill coffee on myself. It makes me smell good. When I lay down, I like to huff the sleeve I spilled on. It makes me think about you and the warm mornings I've experienced.

I miss bringing you coffee and accidentally dripping a bit on the stairs, and feeling the warmth in my hands as I lean into you and tell you about my dreams. I miss eventually drinking yours because you usually prefer tea.

I love you, good morning.

[shoobydoopdoop]

Shoopydoop posting #3?

Just a mind dump. I feel like I’m balled up with so many emotions right now and love and excitement take up a vast majority of those emotions but there’s also a bit of anxiousness, fear, and sadness. Sadness first and foremost isn’t because of life, but because I wish my relationship to my last job before my career was better looking back. I did everything I could have and learned so much and forged so many great friendships and I can’t even begin to explain my love for coffee. Management really makes an impact on people and I’m glad that even though they may be spiteful I chose to still stand and be adverse through all the weird and sketchy decisions. Fear comes from the unknown of what I’m about to step into out there in the real world, working with brand new people in my life and that is strange to me because I’ve always known at least someone at my past jobs BUT I am optimistic and so excited for the opportunities to really showcase my skills. Anxiousness, well.... anxiousness always exists because I am an overthinker but in constructive and realistic ways and sometimes I wish I wasn’t but hey shit happens right? I’m really excited because I get to spend the weekend with the love of my life and through everything so far she’s always been there and that makes me feel so comfortable in life and her drive inspires me to be better all around whether that be with my friendships, work flow, or even with my physical self. It’s going to be a beautiful weekend and I can’t wait to go so many new places and make memories w her because she’s amazing and I really couldn’t ask for a better gift in life. It’s strange that a week ago she was all the light even when my head was clouded and she didn’t know but the fact she’s always been and is her best makes me so happy because I don’t have to pry the good out of someone and her intentions and feelings are intentional and meaningful. I always wish that I could bare any pain that came her way because she deserves nothing but happiness and the best all the time and I’m being real with myself when I say I can be better and I’m always looking for something to do to make her smile and I never want to stop being better for her. God I am so blessed. I know that I want to marry her one day, and fulfill our life dreams and do what we want and the thought of that makes me so happy but I love in the present to feel every bit of emotion for her. Life works in such funny ways, and I’m so glad mine worked out to find her <3. Anyways I know that we will do great, I am capable, you are capable, and we are going to make this life thing our b!tch and we are going to make a difference in this world somehow and we will prosper. We learn so much and I know we won’t make the same mistakes as a lot of people because we are smarter and how we feel is real (: I hope that you’ve made it this far because I want you to read that I love you again and feel the warmth that those words bring. This is about everything on my mind as I sit here alone at my desk at 1 AM wondering why I’m not asleep yet lol. Also, today is 11 months since we met irl and I can’t wait to give you your gifts. I love you babygirl and I can’t wait to see you. 💜 -shoopydoop

[sneggley]

This is a draft I wrote in September of 2023

When my cousin and I helped my (now partner), raid his house for necessities because his mom was on a bender, they had us bring an entire box of Caprisuns to my house.

Me and them grew up in completely separate households right next to eachother and didn't meet until like 7th grade, and I never got brand name items like that, or brand name oreos, I was a shasta kid. So this was the first time I've had a Caprisun in years.

They had me put this box in my freezer, and now it's a week later, and I'm downright SUCKLING on these rock hard frozen juicy fruit bags, as nothing has quite quenched my thirst such as these.

[shoobydoopdoop]

Shoopydoop posting #3

Sometimes I wonder if I’d be able to put together enough material to write a book on relationships. Today got me thinking about how time is important in relationships, but that time shouldn’t be as an important variable as everyone thinks and relationships should build and gain value on the substance generated between two individuals. My girlfriend now is honestly one of the most genuine and amazing people I know who is so capable and so stunningly beautiful with so much to her and a year ago we didn’t know each other at all. A lot of our value comes from what we talk about and our shared interests and our eagerness to know more and share different ideas and opinions on things and just grow as individuals together. Someone I call my best friend I haven’t even met in real life and have known a little less than a year a half I consider myself to be closer with based on substance than people I’ve known for 8+ years. I put a lot of time and into relationships that I feel fulfilled that I gave impact on someone’s life even for a moment and I often think about how different my relationships with people and old friends could be but the MOST important part of today was just thinking about how much I love my life right now. I experienced all these things and a volume of emotions being submerged into the past but none of those emotions even came close to surpassing the level of happiness I’m at now. I love where I’m at and yeah I’ve gone threw some pretty disheartening things with people but I would go through them 10x more just to be where I’m at right now. It’s easy to lay down and accept defeat and be very self centric and think everything bad happens to you but you have to get up, kick life’s ass, and look what it gets you (: I’m nowhere close to done in life and there’s so many experiences for my relationships to have and I can’t wait to continue on kicking life’s ass. Ashley, I love you so much and thank you for being you 💜

Well, this rant didn’t really have a single direction but I wanted to type it all out so someday I look back and have a giggle and words to paper are just really cool in my mind.

Shoopydoop out.

[shoobydoopdoop]

Shoopydoop posting

Often I used to wonder if true love ever existed and if I would ever find it myself. My parents, my parents friends, and people I’d meet in public always seemed like they were meant for each other and over and over I’d look but never find substance in anyone.....until you came along and changed my outlook on life drastically. To the girl who knows who this is about, I really feel such a deep and strong connection to you like no other and I feel like I could let you inside my mind and not be afraid of what you would see. So much support and positivity has come from you, and I’m not willing to ever give that up and will treat you right the first time every time. Words alone really can’t express how grateful I am, or how excited I am for a future with you. Life over these past 9 months has flipped in a complete 180 and I’m still cheesed and pleased by everything you do, and you are your own independent entity willing to make her way and I love it. Your drive is second to none and I’m never worried about us because I believe we both have the maturity and the capability to speak out mind, and even in normal conversation go beyond surface level and really be articulate and intellectual with one another. I love you smöl bean, we are capable and let’s kick life’s ass.

[shoobydoopdoop]

Shoopydoop posting #2

You ever find it crazy that your mind can lead you to think some unimaginable and unrealistic things that could potentially happen, but somehow you can ward off those thoughts and suppress the negativity away? I feel like today at work was super strange in terms of headspace but there’s things I think of to level me out so I can gain the upper hand and am so happy with what I have in love and am forever grateful. Random thought but I think it’s sad we get self value from a counter on social media sites and not by what you have given in life. I really don’t care what I have to give in order to see people happy and let them know I’m serious because at the end of life I want to know I fulfilled people and did what I do best and generated smiles upon the faces of the people I’ve met. There’s plenty to regret, but regression isn’t a choice and you live and learn. Try Fail Learn Repeat honestly. There is no life that doesn’t experience failure but I’m confident that things are going well in my favor now and not to suck my own dick or anything but I can’t be stopped. Continuing on up from here and expressing these thoughts in words helps me comprehend better and become stronger. Thank you for being who you are in my life and for the continuous smiles and love. My princess is the best and it’s wild that I’ve found something so real.