#showing he isn't so badly damaged he can't heal..

[toastytrusty]

thinking endlessly about how romans main relationships outside of the family in later seasons are lukas and mencken, and how their dynamics with rome foil each other both narratively and in-universe. lukas represents them selling waystar, represents emotional vulnerability, represents freedom. mencken, on the other hand, represents them keeping the company, represents the toxic façade of who you Need to be, represents remaining trapped. the way romes emotions fuel the contrasting dynamics between them is endlessly fascinating

lukas, upon his second time meeting rome, immediately continuously attempts to talk abt deep kinda personal/emotional stuff, which rome shut down because he's afraid of self expression, even though deep down he craves connection. this probably scares him, so, especially after logan's death and lukas' reaction to it (on one hand being a dick and not pushing back the meeting, on the other hand trying in his own autistic way to connect and empathize with their loss, as well as being real about how awful logan was), roman distances himself. he feels pushed to the edge of his sanity and reverts to what comes most naturally to him, you guessed it, eeeemotion. he freaks out at lukas on the cliff, in his head burning any bridge built between them, which tbf he pretty much does. but to lukas, this is almost like a win for him. he's been trying to encourage roman to open up to him since they met, and he finally did! so the $5 price bump is almost like a congratualtions or a reward, as well as a spiteful fuck you. narratively it takes them one step closer to selling the company, roman's emotion being what puts him there, and in this case it's being appreciated. really, rome wants out of the company; he wants to sell and he wants to be free of it and all the pressure and expectation that comes with it.

whereas mencken was always very business-focused with roman; joking and laughing in a detached, not very real way. his focus was always succeeding and going far and not really caring how he got there, and i think that's part of why roman liked him. there was no expectation to be genuine or actually connect; he could just put on his brave face and do what they felt needed to be done. when he pushed lukas away because things got too real, he continued seeking out mencken because mencken was easy to appeal to in that way he so often does; changing himself to suit there needs. he puts mencken over everything else that mattered in his life (relationships with his family members mainly he doesn't gaf about The Economy) because he didn't have to be real with mencken. it was all just the blind pursuit for power he didn't really want and a security he felt more threatened by than anything, because he got too far in and set his sights on something (or more accurately kendall set his sights on something, and who was rome to protest?) and had to acheive it. so when the façade breaks, and mencken sees him for the first time not as the charming, witty, businessman, but as the damaged person who just wasn't built for the world, he walks away, no longer looking to protect waystar, or roman. love and sensitivity and emotion are all weaknesses to mencken, weakness he had previously not seen in roman, but now that he had it was too late. rome couldn't pretend forever and mencken bailed, handing waystar (and roman!! becase their ties to waystar are through roman!!) back to lukas and the gojo deal on a silver platter.

this inadvertantly pushes roman back towards freedom, and, in a way, back towards lukas. he told mr emotions to fuck off and ran away to be his self absorbed emotionless husk with someone who wanted nothing more from him, but that didn't work out too well. he can't stay in the cage that is waystar, he can't spend all of his time being someone he's not; it's exhausting. lukas represents his ability to acheive freedom from the toxic environment of waystar, as well as the fact that he will eventually have to confront reality, and mencken represents his unhealthy, and ultimately doomed to fail, coping mechanisms and avoidance behavior. when he tries to twist his perspective of the people around him to make them seem like good people (logan, MENCKEN), lukas shuts it down (at least with logan; i don't think the two of them ever talk abt mencken) and makes rome confront the fact that they aren't, and when rome is so deep into being someone he isn't, lukas encourages him to be himself, whereas mencken condemns him for it

[raelle-writing]

Phee and Jin as parallels in DFF episode 7

I feel like I haven't seen enough people talk about how Phee and Jin are parallels in episode 7. Both reacting in anger in ways that damage Non, and that they likely carry guilt for in the future...

Spoilers for episode 7 below:

In episode 7, we see both Jin and Phee react to Non badly after finding out that Non has had sex with Keng. And the way they both react to that information is... not good.

Phee reacts to the knowledge that Non has been "cheating on" him (I'd like to remind people that Non was coerced so we as the audience shouldn't label it that way, but from Phee's POV that's what it was) by telling Non to "get lost and die"

And he says this despite knowing that Non has su*cidal tendencies and tried to take his own life what seems like mere days before this.

I feel like people gloss over this because they understand why Phee is angry. And I understand too. But the point still stands that Phee basically tells Non to go k!ll himself despite knowing that the consequences of that could be dire... and permanent. If Non actually d!es, disappears, or heaven forbid actually kills himself after this? I don't doubt that Phee will carry the guilt of those final words for the rest of his life, and think of what he could've and should've done differently to prevent that unfortunate fate...

On the other hand, Jin. Who reacts to seeing Non sleeping with someone by recording him. Jin isn't shown to post the video himself, but he still made that snap decision in anger. Copper has said Jin reacted this way because he thought Non was cheating on his boyfriend...

But regardless of his intentions, the fact remains that the video he recorded is the one that was later released. And you can see on his face even in the past that he feels bad about it, feels guilty for his part in what happened. And in the present you see that same guilt...

There's a parallel drawn between these two boys. The two leads of this series who have revolved around Non this entire time. One with a crush, one, his boyfriend. Both dealing with harsh emotions and dragged into the mess that's been created by the others. They both react in anger to the same situation, both do something INCREDIBLY damaging to Non in a snap moment of anger. And both of them, I'm sure, carry that guilt into the future...

It changes Jin from a happy, smiley person into one who is serious and harsh to his friends, who has a damaged relationship with those closest around him, who calls himself a coward and wants to run to another country and never come back.

And it changes Phee from someone who whole-heartedly loves and asks the person he loves to be his boyfriend... to someone who can't get the words out, who seems afraid of commitment. Because he could get hurt? Or because he could hurt them again?

The impact of these actions have changed both boys in the present, and the parallels in the episode are so striking and interesting... and I don't think people talk about it enough. There's potential for a compelling story about these two learning to heal and forgive themselves.

And I hope the show delivers on it, because it would be an incredibly deep and compelling story that touches on dark pieces of humanity that we all carry. The guilt and shame of not always being our best person, and the impacts that has on the people around us. It could show something really touching and heartfelt if these two people who were kids during all of this can learn to forgive each other, forgive themselves, and move into the future together.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Lonely Times

I've been hooked on time loop Steddie fics, that's my drug of choice. And I have thoughts because when don't I have those...

What would it look like if one of the time loop conditions was that Steve can't tell anyone? Whenever he tries to, there is an immediate reset, and Steve tries working around it, really does, but it's as if whatever caused this wants him to suffer alone. He goes through several rapid loops just trying to communicate his concerns, but that's a no-go. Changing their plan turns out to be way more difficult because Steve isn't the brains of the group and everyone tends to trust Nancy more with planning, so he sets out to collect as much information as possible on his own.

Apart from the obvious downsides to all of this - dying, seeing his loved ones die, the healing of his wounds resetting every day - the worst part is having to pretend not to know anything others are saying. The vision Vecna showed Nancy? He knows it word by word, but if he tries to interrupt, summarize it faster, click, a reset happens. So he has to play his part, nod along, ask questions - at least his reactions don't need to stay the same, but it's tedious and it makes him feel so alone.

He's tried talking to Eddie more times than he cares to admit, has tried to figure out if there is a way to keep Eddie out of harm's way. For Max, the solution is more clear, stopping Jason Carver from destroying her lifeline - a painful lesson he learned the one time he squeezed into the Creel House team - was obvious, but with Eddie the danger doesn't lie only outside, in the swarms of demobats, it's Eddie's painful disregard for his own life. He's had numerous discussions with Eddie, going in his responses from appreciative to annoyed to genuinely curious because with what Steve knows will happen, he wonders - why doesn't Eddie ever talk about himself apart from all the coward stuff? He wants to see others happy so badly he'll throw his life away without a single thought. Steve finds the familiarity painful. And so keeps asking, keeps prodding, collects information like pieces of a puzzle and he can't help himself, the picture that starts showing up is lovely, it is complex and Steve knows he simply has to bring this damaged boy home, home to his loud music, his loving uncle, his secret ambitions.

He heads to Eddie's trailer when others are still talking, he says he needs some fresh air. He pokes around, finds all the weaknesses, the vents, the fragile doors. Even though others stare at him as if he grew a second head, he gives them all the details, suggests how they should adjust the planned defenses. It's not enough, but Steve has all the power in the world now, he knows how to work the system. The second anything goes wrong, he grabs Robin's shoulder and mutters the magical words: "I'm stuck in a time loop". Eddie won't remember the pain tomorrow, Eddie won't remember the things he told him about his mother, about how he got held back in school because the principal caught him kissing his nephew and that sparked a long vendetta that Eddie couldn't win against. It doesn't matter if Eddie doesn't remember, Steve will spare him the pain, will spare Dustin from losing him all over again. Maybe Steve also selfishly wants to spare himself.

The repetition drives him crazy, but it makes him more bold, less hesitant. He spends more time with Eddie in each loop, talks to him about all the topics in the world, and his heart aches whenever it's go time because he already expects another reset. If he sees any mistakes repeated, knows they won't make it, he just says the magic words and there it is, a second chance, third, fourth, twentieth. He doesn't even count, time doesn't flow the way it should in purgatory anyway.

"I think I've been falling for you," he says once to Eddie, ready to follow the sentence with the spoken reset button, but it doesn't happen, not then. Because Eddie looks at him, his dark eyes and full of fondness, and maybe he's been feeling desperate too because he tosses away the spiked shield and reaches out, strokes Steve's cheek, and Steve's feeling brave and stupid. "I want to know more about you. You're so interesting Eddie, so vibrant, and I don't care if it sounds like I'm losing my mind, because nothing matters to me now than seeing you alive and happy. To have you walk the stage and give the principal the biggest fuck you of his life because you made it. To go on tour or just play at the Hideout, to keep meeting with all the tiny shitheads and create any and all adventures you want, I...I need to see that happen." He covers Eddie's hand with his own. "Please tell me you understand," he whispers and Eddie does, not in words, he kisses Steve right there and then.

When Steve has to say the words that evening, when one of the vines breaks Nancy's leg and they hear Vecna walking down the stairs, disturbed by the muffled scream of pain, he decides that he will do anything and everything to have those lips against his again.

"I'm stuck in a time loop, Nance."

"Hey Robin, I've lived through this day before."

"Eddie is about to die in an hour and the day will reset."

In the end, he figures out the magical combination, just like he figured out Eddie, through trial and error and dedication. He proposes changes to the plan, adding to the "bait" - getting an additional speaker and placing it in another trailer, switching between them to keep the bats occupied, to draw them from one place to another. He's seen it many times already, Eddie can never feel like his job is done. He will keep him occupied. He will keep him safe.

Erica has to move positions, she signals from somewhere else to avoid being spotted. Lucas barricades the doors and places Max's walkman to a safer position. Steve and Nancy make their way upstairs and get Vecna, Robin stays outside and cuts off his escape with more Molotov cocktails until the two make it back.

And just like that, a dam breaks in their minds. "What..." mutters Nancy and stares at Steve as if she saw him for the first time. "Have we been through this before? I feel like..."

"Like there's a shit ton of memories in your head that never happened?" adds Robin and expects Steve to explain, knows he had something to do with it, but he doesn't have the time or energy for that, he just stares in the direction of the trailer park and runs, because if this is it, if others remember, then-

He meets Eddie halfway there, in the forest, near the place when Eddie told him a lifetime ago he should get Nancy back. "You..." wheezes Eddie and Steve presses the knuckles of his hand to his mouth to stifle an ugly sob, "...knew all along, didn't you?"

"Yes," whispers Steve and can't help it, pulls Eddie into a crushing hug, his own injuries be damned. "For such a long time, Eddie. It never worked out, I don't know how many times, but it's okay now, you remember, I...I wanted to tell you so badly." He's full on crying now, sobbing into Eddie's neck and he vaguely registers Eddie's hand stroking his back.

He's about to apologize and pull back, he never wanted to dump all this on Eddie, but Eddie holds him just as tight and his long fingers find their way into Steve's hair, gently massaging his head. "You did so good, Steve," he says and his voice sounds broken, quiet. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone. I wish I remembered all of that sooner."

Steve gives a wet chuckle, still buried in Eddie's shoulder. "All of that, huh?" He wonders if Eddie remembers really everything, because then-

"Everything. But especially that one moment. I hope you haven't changed your mind about the falling thing," and Eddie is finally pulling away, just a little, to look into Steve's eyes. "Because if that was the only time I get to kiss you, this will be my villain origin backstory."

They are both laughing now, staring at each other through the tears and they can hear steps getting closer, Nancy and Robin finally catching up. "I'm pretty sure the info you have is outdated," says Steve and pulls Eddie closer, if that's even possible. "I'm way past falling now. I'm completely gone for you, man."

"Good, then we have something in common. I still don't get how you did it, how this whole loop thing came about, but I don't give a fuck. This is our year, baby," he grins at Steve.

And Eddie is right. It is.

[matchbet-allofthetime]

Promises, Promises

Nero/Dante/Vergil x GN!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic between nero/reader, dante/reader, or vergil/reader. whatever you prefer, just meant to be comforting i guess)

Word count: 1020

A/N: just wrote this, idrk what to say. reader claws at themself in their sleep even though they're lucid enough to know they're dreaming. they don't realize they're in actual real-world physical pain until they wake up, but frankly, the pain doesn't bother them. it's kinda about the boys being concerned because the reader doesn't seem to notice/care about their wounds past "fuck, that's gonna be a bitch to heal" and "damnit now i need new sheets. did i stain my mattress????" and it's also about a promise being made to protect each other bc the amulets they wear gave my brain ThoughtsTM

also demon boy cuddles and napping bc it's a need, not just a want

here's your warning for: blood, nightmares, reader tears themself up in their sleep bc nightmares, but they also don't feel much care about that in particular past "oh no i stressed my boys out oof"

reader is okay and vergil and nero cry. dante nearly does.

long A/N, so sorry, but i needed to kinda show my thought process after not sleeping for 24 hours lol

please enjoy!

─────────────────⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅─────────────────

It cycles through me like a storm, leaving me gasping for air. I jolt and can't manage to pry myself from the images in my own head.

Woefully overwhelming.

Equally underwhelming and boring as hell.

Shame I couldn't seem to care past my exhaustion. Even still, my body seemed to do the job of 'scared human' pretty well without my internal fears interfering.

Now if I waited just a moment longer, it should-

I cry out (against my brain's irritation and advice against doing precisely that-) and my eyes meet Dante's worried ones immediately. He's cradling my face and I see Nero nearly run in, arms full of medical supplies of all kinds. My arms feel warm- liquid warm. I groan in frustration, shutting my eyes.

They open again as I hear Nero openly crying through his concern and Vergil comes crashing like a hurricane into the room. His eyes are cold as always, but it's a new type of cold.

My throat is hoarse. I woke them up. I try to lift myself up on my arms before- ugh, fuck it. I slam myself back down and groan again.

Time for new fuckin' sheets. Again.

As Dante cradles me close, Vergil sets down a plastic tub filled with warm water, probably to clean the blood off of where I apparently tore myself open in my sleep. Had I been thrashing that badly? The dream was bad, but it wasn't anywhere near what the real nightmares were when I was a kid, so why…?

Nero wipes away his tears and gets to work wetting one of the many cloths he brought in the room; he soothes it over the flesh of my shoulder.

I look down groggily. Still not awake yet, it seems. Not fully, anyways.

It appears I've mostly gotten my shoulders, arms, and sides- the meatier parts of myself. Not sure if I did it because they were easier to grab onto or because there's more there to damage. Either way, the cloth feels nice and I slump relatively comfortably into Dante's warm arms and Nero's gentle hands.

I try to speak but really, no words come out. I taste blood. They can't smell the blood in my mouth versus the blood soaking into my sheets. My fingers curl into the blanket underneath me. Nero had gotten-

Oh fuck.

Now I start to panic, truly, in full, because Nero had gotten my this blanket and it was my favourite and if I ruined it with my blood, I swear to god-

"Darling, shit, breathe, okay? I know…" Dante sighs, his blue eyes watering and glossy, before continuing, his hands curling against my tensed ones, "…I know you don't really process your nightmares or physical pain the way normal people do, so I know that isn't the problem. Talk to me, what's up?" His voice is comforting, though extremely pressed for an answer.

I clear my throat, once, twice. Swallow down my blood. Don't care much about that part.

"…I got blood on the blanket Nero gave me."

The room goes dead silent. Vergil storms over and drops down to the floor next to my bed with bruising force and I'm not shocked when I hear the floorboards crack underneath the weight of his fall.

My hand reaches to thread through his silver hair and I am shocked when he lets out a sob. He whines into my hands and Nero finally finishes cleaning off all my blood. As his twin lay dormant and sob-choked, Dante starts to bandage my body. The damage wasn't good by any means, but it could've been much worse.

I rake my fingers further through Vergil's hair in apology. He accepts it graciously; didn't blame me to begin with. I know this, but silently apologize nonetheless.

As Dante finishes wrapping my arms, Nero lifts me up (which much protest from his father) and drags the blanket from under me. I'm set back down as Dante lays on the bed and Nero goes downstairs to throw the blanket in the wash before my blood stains it. Luckily it seems to have caught all of my blood, so no new sheets. Just a guilty conscience and burning shoulders for me.

Dante pulls me into his chest, purposefully warming himself as best he could without DTing to soothe my wounds and I snuggle into his body heat. Vergil lays beside us both and nuzzles his face and body closer to our warmth as we comfort one another.

Soon, Nero walks back in as Vergil's tears slow and he too lays in bed, curled into the opposite side of Dante.

Together we all snuggle as Dante turns on a movie. None of us pay attention, of course. Can't seem to make ourselves and we don't really care, either. I half think idly that even Dante isn't sure what movie he put on.

Nero's wings pull a thick comforter over us and we're enveloped in each other's scents as we start to drift off.

We all hold each other.

A promise.

A promise to never leave, to always be there for one another, to take care of one another.

A reminder that there will never be anyone who could hurt any of the others in the room without coming face-to-face with some of the scariest, most vicious motherfuckers on the planet and dying by their hands.

A reminder that us Spardas stick together- even the ones rallied in not by water of the womb but blood of the covenant- and that no nightmares would be allowed without some ass-kicking in this place.

That was our promise.

My fingers reach up to curl protectively over my amulet, at match to Dante's and Vergil's and Nero's- swirling with gold and silver, blue and red. Three initials written delicately into its metal- DVN.

Dante. Vergil. Nero.

It was our promise and they'd never break it so long as they all lived.

I smile and hum contentedly as the three men drape their arms softly over me.

No nightmares could ever reach us- not as long as we were in each other's arms.

[nanomooselet]

Episode Seven: Wolfwood

It's a lovely evening in No Man's Land, and you are a horrible cultist.

The more I think about the idea that Legato wasn't ordered to do this, the more sense it makes to me. Let's do a count of assets this craziness puts into peril. We have the Punisher, highly chemically compatible and on an assignment already, who really doesn't need to be under more stress. We have the Doublefang, who's even better than the Punisher since he heals without the drugs, and through him Wolfwood learns that the Eye of Michael can't be trusted to keep its word.

We have the Plant aboard the steamer, as Zazie points out, and I'm not sure Legato is as concerned about it as he claims to be. We have the steamer itself, a relic of the spacefaring age with plenty of still-functional technology on board even if the humans can't do much with it. (And isn't that interesting? They seem to have just stuck a steam engine in there and closed off the rest. Cool worldbuilding details.) It travels to and from July - I suspect it carries at least some cargo and personnel for the cult. Speaking of, we have Hopeland Orphanage and its stock of potential subjects, which we know for a fact the Eye has its stamp on.

Finally we have Vash, who's one of the cult's figures of worship. He's the only living thing that Legato's "beautiful angel" truly cares about. Even if Legato's plan is a success, is achieving Wolfwood's perfect loyalty worth losing any one of the rest, let alone Vash? I really have to wonder how Legato planned to explain any of this.

Of course, he does explain, doesn't he? You must give up on your little brother and face reality. I must take everything you love from you so that you can fulfil your noble purpose as a weapon. What we're seeing is Legato's first demonstration of his character to come, building sadistic traps to force painful choices upon his target, but also a glimpse of what awaits Vash at the end of his journey. Where could Legato have learned his definition of love? And let's not forget that he refers to his feelings as love in the first place.

He's such a drama queen. Can't wait to see him ruining everything next season.

So much in this two-parter is amazing, but I think a somewhat underrated moment is Vash preventing Wolfwood from killing Livio with that insane trick shot. My boy frees Wolfwood from a horrific mental trap because no one should have to choose between the things that they love, the things that keep them alive. Best of boys. Precious darling. He wants so, so badly for there to be a way out for him.

I'm hesitant to discuss Livio that much, because we, uh, really don't learn that much about him? We see the sad little boy in Nick's memories - which I have reason to suspect are not entirely the objective truth - and we have the stumbling puppet who boards the steamer. He isn't in a position to make his thoughts known, except once, and, well… it’s a decisive demonstration. But one that precludes any further participation. I have read the manga, yes, and I know what he's like there, but my feeling is that's more what he'll become than what he is now. There seems to be one fairly significant change, however: Razlo, and Livio's attitude toward him.

Razlo's there. I'm sure he's there. But is he always there in the same way? Is Livio so out of it because he's under the mask's control, or is it Razlo the mask keeps supressed? And when it becomes damaged, why does what Livio see in the mirror so horrify him? Does Livio even know who else is in his mind?

(We get our first glimpse of Chapel, too.)

(Somehow I feel like I'm not going to be a fan of this guy.)

They didn't save Livio, but he got to make a choice. Even if it was a choice they wish he hadn't made.

Speaking of choices!

Meryl and Roberto continue to be the show's main source of comedy - the dub work for the Bad Lads Gang is so funny. Poor Meryl's teary little face when they bring up the Worms. Them being all excited about getting on the cover of an outlaw magazine, whatever that is. Roberto just being all welp, this might as well happen when he learns the faltering steamer has a space age cannon stuck to the top and that still works.

Not enough booze in the world.

And then Meryl makes a choice. Roberto's right, on some level - they're not soldiers. They're not fighters. By any sane standard this is not their fucking job. But there is no one else who can do it. Regardless of ability, there's simply no one else who's been given the choice between standing there, taking the risk, or fleeing with the knowledge you could have done something and didn't. So Meryl makes her stand... and I realised that Roberto does too, because he faces the same choice. They all do! There's something they all want to protect more than anything else. Such different people with such vastly different skills and life experiences all have something in common, and they work together to realise their purpose. It's the second time in the series this has happened and disaster's been averted with their efforts. I just!

Of course then things get even crazier and we move into what might be among my favourite action sequences in the entire series? It's admittedly hard to narrow it down. This has been extensively dissected elsewhere, but it really might have the most beautiful cinematography (especially in the Plant room - ethereal, and then the hard cut comparison to the steel and scorching flesh of Wolfwood's efforts and I'm reduced to helpless arm-waving). But I think there's one detail I want to emphasise?

Cool watery blue and burning fiery orange-red, yes. Gorgeous contrast. But both also have just a dash of the opposing colours. The two aren't so far apart, each holding part of the other - fundamentally connected, in spite of all the ways they're different.

[klysanderelias]

I think the thing that makes me insane about battletech as a setting is that it's such a quintessential military science fiction universe in that there's basically no substance or interrogation or themes or anything

A lot of mech stories specifically use mechs as an allegory for something else, or a way to externalize the pain and torture of prolonged warfare without requiring the protagonists to be constantly injured or healing, or to show grievous damage to a body but not YOUR body, but it's still kind of your body, you know?

And as someone who has read probably literally close to a hundred of the battletech novels, that's just... not there. Almost all of the stories are boilerplate, relatively mediocre war stories that tell of heroes doing cool things and winning against regular odds, and the ones that deviate from the norm are the sort of thing that I'd find completely unremarkable in any other setting. Like, the closest I can come up with to a story that isn't just 'there's a guy, he's in a mech, he falls in love with a girl, he fights and he ends up winning and it's cool' is Ideal War, which STILL FOLLOWS THAT FORMULA but at least works within the confines of the universe to say things like 'war is horrible and piloting a mech doesn't protect you from having to see the violence you're capable of inflicting' (but yeah it really is still that exact formula just by a slightly more self aware author)

and the problem really is the same that a lot of science fiction falls into, where the summary is really really cool and you're like holy shit I would love to know more, like if I were to tell you 'this setting is about a technologically advanced galaxy where humans have been able to create 10 meter tall mechs that last hundreds of years and are the primary method of waging war, but because of the vastness of space and the limits of physics, society has reverted to feudalism and aristocracy because coordinating governments across solar systems is a nightmare and the larger a given nation, the more difficult it is to manage, PLUS as battlemechs are owned and passed down within families, it additionally stratifies society as a new noble class is established, oh and partially through the bloody wars between these feudal nations, a eugenicist death cult of technologically advanced humans sweeps in and completely curbstomps everyone in their way until the secretive communications network that kind of worships computers reveals that it's been hiding an army of its own that is close to on par with the death cultists, and challenges them to a winner-take-all battle for the galaxy'

and then I have to be like 'oh and it's really badly written, everything that sounds cool about this is thrown to the side because the guys who wrote this were all middle-aged white dudes who were weirdly enthusiastic about the US civil war and especially the South'

Like, I can't help but think about things like gundam, which has its faults but has clear politics and themes and narratives that carry through clearly and reliably, or EVA which definitely fumbles a lot of what it's going for but is laden with such evocative imagery and symbolism that even though it's kinda mid it still captured our hearts and minds for decades, or like every single mech story in existence that asks whether we consider them people, or how it changes our ability to relate to others to be encased in a shell of armor and death, or whether we're giving up part of our humanity to become part of a steel beast

and battletech is just no thoughts head empty 'it's so cool to be a soldier : ) isn't it great to be a special hero :DDD'

and that's on the good days, on the bad days it's 'well the clans are so cool and advanced and they're so good at fighting and they've got a code of honor that makes them vulnerable but really it's the ones that attempt to find loopholes or undercut that honor that are the bad ones, if only we could get the clans to stop fighting us and see that we should have peace, between us and the people who idolize genetic purity above literally everything else :)'

[huntershowl]

sender kisses receiver to taste the blood on their busted lip ;; from sukuna

SHE DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE her lip is bleeding until he kisses her.

for most of persephone's life, injuries were not worthy of curse healing unless they were in a quite-literal sense about to kill her. and even with the sanctum doctor's reverse cursed technique, the pain those injuries caused couldn't be erased. between the chronic pain in her nerves from the badly-healed prosthetic arms and a job dedicated to breakdown of the body, seph's pain tolerance has skyrocketed to the point where tattoos barely feel like a whisper. let alone a busted lip.

jujutsu sorcerers should know by now how foolish it is to try and isolate her. once upon a time, the girl who died and became hellhound bled for their side, if only for a time; at least they've stopped trying to talk her down from some perceived misunderstood spiral by now. they have no idea that the implosion and scattering of the unseen was the best thing that could have possibly happened to her — that yes, they went from one collar to another, but in being claimed by the king of curses, persephone has never in her life felt so free. once sukuna's curse markings began appearing on her body, the sorcerers seemed to finally realize they'd hit the point of no return on getting her back.

it isn't all too uncommon that persephone goes out on their own to fight. the itch for violence never left her, even when the object of her revenge finally lay in pieces at her feet. once a hellhound, always a hellhound. she knows how easy her cursed energy is to track; it shines like a beacon in the night, so she must be prepared at all times for an ambush—which, really, she's already been training for. paranoia has its perks. all they need to do is wander for a while before some hapless creature shows up and tries to humble her; today, persephone bit of a bit more than they could chew and ended up in a closer fight than they anticipated.

she doesn't bother sukuna with the details of her personal life; they can't imagine him being remotely interested in such a thing. so when she comes back to him a little worse for wear, fresh from a fight and flushed with adrenaline, she doesn't tell him why. it doesn't matter when all the perpetrators are dead.

instead, they shrug the rifle case off their shoulder and let him slide his arms around their waist, pull them close. the other hand grabs their chin, inspects their face for worse damage and finds none. when he kisses her, she feels his tongue lap across her lower lip, a quiet sting reminding her that the piece of shit from earlier managed to get a good curse-fueled punch in. the coppery tang mixes in their mouths; seph lets him taste. if he wants blood, she will carve open any part of herself and let it run for him in offering.

[neverendingparable]

🔪 — @parables-for-days​ — continued from here!

"Fuck fuck fuck that hurrts," Bradley complains because he figures that's what Cyrus expects from him. It does hurt, badly. But it's not the worst he's ever felt and really, usually he'd just restart himself to take care of the wound. Which he can't do now that the other Narrator is here.

Oh hey Cyrus! Don't worry about this mysterious wound, I'm just going to fling myself off the cargo lift and I'll be as good as new!

It makes sense to Bradley. Why bother healing when you have restarts, which are quick and often painless, to return you to the state you were before you got hurt? But years of experience has taught him that most people don't support casual suicide.

He takes a deep breath and then uncurls slowly to let Cyrus see the damage. There's a lot of blood, soaking into his sweater and jeans and still dripping down onto the carpet. Hiking up his sweater with a hiss will show them the deep, nasty hole on his side. He hadn't hit any vital organs, which means he wouldn't die in a couple minutes either.

Fortunately he thought to put on his glamour today, so aside from the gaping wound, Cyrus would just see smooth, unmarred skin. If his glamour wasn't one, he might've seen the other scars. From all the other times Bradley has done similar things.

But he isn't planning on standing there and lying to Cyrus. Cyrus would be concerned about the supposed target on Bradley's back if he believes people are randomly coming up and stabbing him. Plus any sympathy would just make him feel really guilty.

The younger Narrator sighs, his expression turning sheepish.

"I uh...well. I sort of...wanted to see what would happen if I..." He mumbles, not looking at the other's face. ".....if I'd stab myself with that thing. The internet said it was banned by the Geneva convention! So I thought it would be interesting to try out."

[crystalelemental]

Hey kids.  Are you struggling to clear the special CS?  Grass types just not cutting it?  Well I've got great news!  Stall meta is back, and that means there's an easier way!  Follow me, and I'll show you all about how to stall like a champion.

General Overview Stall, as a format, has been gone a while.  So I imagine there are plenty of players who aren't as familiar with the art.  For those unaware, the emphasis is usually on Toxic/Trap for passive damage, healing through Potions and/or Synchro Healing/Recuperation.  The parameters for success are:

Physical/Special Shield Def +1 Def +3 HP +2 Physical/Special Damage Reduction Crit Defense Def +5 Can't change weather, terrain, zone HP +4 Move Gauge -2 HP +6 Standard Damage Reduction HP +8

These parameters provide exactly 2500 points.  A clear against every stage with Stall parameters will get you all rewards, without having to engage with your Grass-type damage dealers at all.  Provided your main tanks are at 3/5 and have full grid access, this is completely manageable.  Ideally, eggmons are also up to 4*, though I think 3* would be safe for most as well.  Everyone should be equipped with Vigilance, although you can get away with typical damage dealers like Koga, Ghetsis, and Lodge Lillie having Crit Strike 2.  That said, Stall is able to be disrupted.  Really badly, actually.  And three of these fights have answers to Stall.  I'll be going over the threats of each stage, why I chose each team, and whether this was a smart move, because...not all of them were.  I could've played this better.

Vs. Bertha (BP Morty/Tech Nidoqueen/BP Erika) Bertha goes first, because she's almost entirely physical, so Reflect at start helps.  Sandstorm damage can be threatening to your stall team, if you can't apply rapid recovery, so I chose BP Morty's team.  Morty's grid should emphasize MPR on Potion, trainer move, and Synchro Healing.  You will lose First Aid 4, but he can manage; the team healing is more important because Bertha's team knows Bulldoze.  BP Erika has Toxic/Trap, while Nidoqueen debuffs with Venom Drench.  Erika's rotation is Toxic center, Toxic right, Trap Center, Toxic Left, Trap Left/Right, Trap the Other, spam Infestation on center to ensure it's reapplied.  My mistake here was type matchup.  Nidoqueen is weak to Ground, and while this is ultimately negligible because Nidoqueen does not need to persist past hitting -6 after first sync, it's painful.  Bertha also spammed Bite a lot, which is really bad for Morty, who is Dark-weak.  That said, no deaths, clean win.

Vs. Lorelei (Leaf, Tech Golbat, Viola) Lorelei has to go second, for boosted passive damage.  Lorelei will apply Gradual Healing, which is a massive problem for Stall teams to handle.  It's legitimately the worst counter this stadium has.  I went with Leaf Team because Viola's special attack debuffs work best here.  Unfortunately, I forgot Golbat is weak to Ice.  Oops.  Anyway, Leaf wants to grid Recuperation and her Potion MPRs, but avoids Staggering.  Flinching center is a good way to take more sync hits than you want.  Recuperation allows Leaf to focus her Potion healing on allies (Golbat).  Viola is a strong secondary tank with First Aid 4 if needed, but isn't needed to go beyond 1/5.  Golbat can drop after applying the Toxic, it's not critical for it to survive, but we did clear no deaths.

Vs. Bruno (BP Janine, Ghetsis, Tech Sandslash) Initially, I wanted to use my Jasmine/SS Leaf/Wallace team, but because not everyone has SS Leaf, I decided to go a bit more F2P aligned.  I wanted to run Liza, but she skews too far into Special, and it wouldn't work out.  That said.  Might have been better off.  BP Janine has Recuperation and the ability to buff evasion.  Sandslash has Trap, and lowers accuracy.  I had expected this to go well, since Bruno has quite a few inaccurate moves.  Anything that got through, well, Ghetsis has Noble Roar Double Drop, so we shouldn't take much, right?  He hit like every attack, boosts his crit so Ghetsis is in danger, and worst of all, has Full Heal.  This will cure your first application of Toxic.  Which means, I really should've used someone consistent here.  I was a fool.  Janine almost lost.  We did wind up winning, but when I say "barely," I mean one more attack connecting from the sides would've finished the job.  This was...risky, and not in a fun way.  I feel like it needs better compression, but mostly I just don't think BP Janine is good at stall.  The comedy is that the heavy emphasis on AoE attacks did in the allies long before Janine was threatening.  Which...sure.

Vs. Grimsley (BP Clemont/Lucy/Janine) Few things are as devastating to stall as the "half sync countdown" parameter.  They knew what they were doing.  Grimsley's scary just because of Snarl AoE and boosted crit, but a full Vigilance team isn't threatened at all.  BP Clemont Team took the field, because Clemont is unbreakable.  Half sync countdown usually means eating a whole extra sync, which can be scary, but Clemont can grid Synchro Healing, First Aid, and MPR on his trainer move to cap defenses, while also getting natural Endurance.  I thought about using him against Bruno, but my initial run had Bruno spamming Bulldoze and speed debuffs, which wouldn't work.  Clemont's weak to Ground, and speed drops murder his access to Synchro Healing.  So, Grimsley it was, and thankfully he had a much easier time of life.  No deaths, clean win.  Grimsley's pretty easy to stall.

Vs. Champion Serena (Lodge Dawn, Lodge Lillie, Koga) Serena's natural parameter is that debuffs are stronger, which is supposed to tie into her debuffing your special attack.  Unfortunately for her, two can play at that game.  Lodge Dawn team, it is time.  We took the extra parameter for bonus passive damage, because of course we did.  Lodge Dawn has this wonderful thing, where she buffs both defenses when gridded with Shielded, and gets Evasive Rush, alongside her special attack debuffs.  Dawn is an ideal.  Lillie supplies trap, attack debuffs, and Synchro Healing, being the best little stall bot around.  The general plan is Dawn takes sync if HP isn't a concern to boost her evasion, while Lillie takes sync when HP starts getting close to the yellow to heal up.  I didn't get any AoE off of Serena, so your sides are safe; Dawn's evasion is sufficient.  Koga is a bit inconsistent on Toxic, but this is a fair stage to be a bit late on, given how hard the others counter her.  This was...free.  Dawn has absolutely no trouble against this stage.  At no point did she ever feel remotely threatened.  We almost ended at full HP.  The team is that good.  "Okay, but...why is Lodge Dawn EX'd?"  It's a special surprise for later this month.  Don't worry about it.

Final Thoughts The structure of Stall is such that it can, in fact, clear these stages no problem.  That being said, I do think they are aware that Stall is back, and attempted to set up roadblocks.  Bruno's Full Heal really slows down progress.  Lorelei's gradual healing is a massive problem if you don't have consistent healing or good MPR luck.  Bertha's Sandstorm is a major problem if you don't have aggressive healing.  Grimsley and Serena were pretty free, though.

The main thing I keep in mind is, one day they will release Electric-weak Lorelei into this.  One day we will face Sync Cure.  And on that day, Stall will falter in this mode.  But the purpose of a pure Stall clear is to showcase that it can be done at all.  More importantly, that if any particular stage is tripping you up, stall works reliably now.  It's frankly easier than it has been in almost two years to get full rewards.  Which...probably means the 3k meta isn't too far off.  I hate to think like that, but especially with the Special CS thing being a draw for pulling on new sync pairs, I imagine they'll want to limit Stall.  I expect there to always be a half timer to sync parameter.  I expect stuff like Sync Cure.  I expect that the bonus passive damage condition won't be around much.  I expect counters like Impervious to block offense debuffs, heavy field effect use to power through defenses, more Gradual Healing, etc.  There will be anti-Stall tools.  I'm certain of it.  But for now, it's possible.  Stall's in business, baby.

[13thdoodle]

[ OC 31 n Fen : Gladiator AU ]

I should draw more of this one too orz

@princessfanonanona came up with this AU and im just qwq

In this au, ghosts can form bonds that allow them to share thoughts, see through each other's eyes, and feel each other's emotions and pain.

The facility makes cloned ghosts pair up, fight in an arena, and spend time together in order to force them into a bond.

Fen and 31 are both clones forced into bonding -- but the bond isn't balanced, and leans in 31's favor... not that they know this.

31 gets badly injured one day, and is able to borrow Fen's healing to save himself. But the wounds appear on Fen instead, and cause him to heal much more slowly.

The facility wants to know how far they can push this, so they try to run experiments by hurting 31 with the intention of having Fen heal him. Instead, 31 blocks the bond completely to prevent Fen from getting hurt. (this is what's happening in the first two pages!)

The last two pages show scenes from after they escape the facility (burning things down in the process, of couse). The facility commonly rented Fen out as a bodyguard, and one of the groups he commonly worked for was a man named Valko, boss of a cartel. Valko ends up essentially adopting them, and teaching them how to live -- taking them to amusement parts (pic 3) and getting them plushies (pic 4).

The cartel also calls Fen "little wolf" and 31 "кошек" (koshek), so they're holding plushies of each other in the last pic! :D

Fen belongs to @aj-itated

Extra details:

- Fen has an insane healing factor, minor shape-shifting (can give himself sharper claws / fangs), and intimidation

- 31 has a perfect memory, insane pattern-recognition skills, and is very good at piecing together knowledge to create plans

- It takes Fen and 31 a really long time to bond, because ghosts can only have one bond at a time... and 31 had another partner previously. That bond was so weak that 31 couldn't even notice it, but until it broke, it still kept him from bonding with 31.

- Because of the arena fights, Fen turns into a very physical brawler. He can heal any damage the other pair does to him -- but 31 can't, so making himself the target is the best way to make sure 31 won't get hurt. He relies on his fangs, claws, and intimidation. This au Fen is very feral

- 31 is a planner and distance fighter; he's very good at analyzing the other pair, pinpointing their weakpoints, and then attacking as soon as they leave an opening and taking them out in one shot. He also gets very fond of knives and sharp object

- Later in the au, Fen starts bringing back any nice knives he comes across while on jobs for 31

- 31 ends up with a ridiculous collection of knives. He always has an unknown amount of sharp objects hidden on him.

[shadowsinger11]

You, The Stars And I

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k (oops)

Requested by @amira3113: Can I request a fic abt the reader seeing Fred and George comforting a kid after Umbridge punished him and the reader helps them and Fred thinks it's so cute what she is doing and she does the same and extra mega fluff, pls?🥺 you don't gotta do it if u don't want to btw.. so no pressure ;)

Warnings: A bit more angst than intended, Fred being a soft boi™️

A/N: I don't know how to feel, I just roasted myself hardcore with this and I'm feeling even more single. I'm sorry for not being able to use a 'keep reading' tab

Masterlist

The sun fell asleep behind the endless hills, enveloped by dense, opaque darkness. Its golden rays no longer shone through the wide windows of the castle and instead let shadows creep into the long, empty hallways, revealing the ugly truth about what the school had turned into over the past few months.

The naked walls stood tall, towering over you and inching closer with every step you took, and you hung your head low, aiming to block out the singular buzzing thought in your head.

Hogwarts was no longer home.

Your heart ached at the memory of hundreds of students chattering and laughing all day long, freely walking around the school grounds and simply being children. You so terribly missed being careless and having fun without the fear of potentially facing a life-threatening punishment.

But now there was no laughter, only your footsteps echoed in the hallway.

You were headed straight to your common room, determined to go to sleep early. The curfew and the dozens of new restrictions prevented you from meeting your friends, and you hoped that sleep would at least somehow distract you from your worries for a couple of hours.

The deafening silence nearly caused you to miss the muffled sobs and quiet whispering, coming from a turn not far away. It seemed as though there were more than one voice speaking, and your chest clenched with dread.

You hurried your pace until you reached the source of the noise, and peeked from behind the wall.

The sight most definitely surprised you, but the pain in your chest only sharpened.

There, on a bench, Fred and George were sitting, hunched over a small boy, probably no older than a second year. You could tell by his green robes which house he was in, but his red, tear-stained face was what alarmed you.

You immediately approached him and fell to your knees. George was on his left, rubbing slow, soothing circles on his back, while Fred was on the other side, holding his small hand in his, on the back of which a few words glistened with fresh crimson blood.

I must not ask questions.

You sent the twins a questioning look, but Fred dismissed it by shaking his head; clearly that was not the time for an explanation, nor was one necessary to begin with.

You placed a hand on the boy's knee to make your presence known.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

This only caused the child to sob harder and you internally cursed for having to go through this routine.

"It hurts…" he whimpered, "I thought Hogwarts was fun. I met friends last year and it was great. But now… Now I really want to go home."

Your jaw clenched and you swallowed hard, furious about seeing innocent children slowly losing faith and joy in life, turning into hollow shells of the amazing people they could have grown to become.

The horrifying experience would inevitably have a massive impact on them and unexplainable guilt twisted your stomach. And even though the long-term damage had already been done, you could at least take care of the temporary pain.

"It's not going to hurt for long, I promise," Fred whispered, tenderly playing with the boy's trembling fingers. "Ours are already fading."

"That's true, see?" George showed the back of his hand on which you could make out the faint, bloody words 'I must not cause trouble.', and you felt sick. "Soon you won't even remember it was there."

Tears stung in your eyes, but before you gave them a chance to fall, you turned to the redheads.

"I can heal the wound. Well, to an extent. If anything, I can lessen the pain," you began. "But I need to grab something from the Charms classroom."

Fred frowned, confused, "Wouldn't you need a potion for that? Why Charms?"

"Snape isn't the only one armored with potions for just in case things go wrong. And we can't risk going to the dungeons at this hour. It's not wise to tell Madam Pomfrey yet either."

The twins nodded. George said.

"It's not a good idea for all of us to go at once. I suggest one of us returns and covers the others up if necessary."

"I'll go with her," Fred stated without a second thought. "I can get them safely where they need to be, let her do her thing and bring them back."

Fred's eagerness to help filled you with warmth and for once that night you had the strength to smile, even for just a second.

"That sounds like plan then. But you should really take the map," George added, already pulling out the neatly folded Marauder's Map from his backpack. "Don't wanna risk getting caught by the ugly toad, you know."

"As if she'd be strolling down the hallways late at night. Doesn't she have hobbies?"

"Does hanging creepy pictures of cats on pink walls count as such?" you commented and the second year giggled, which made you feel slightly better as well.

Fred took the map from George and you grabbed the boy's hand.

"Good luck, guys. And, like, don't die."

"Woah, greatly encouraging, Georgie," you replied sarcastically, but appreciated it nonetheless. "You sure you'll be fine?"

"Absolutely. I got the route memorized like the back of my hand. I'll be careful."

And with that, George headed towards the Gryffindor Tower while you, Fred and the boy went in the opposite direction - the East Towers.

The night was eerily quiet, only the footsteps and shuddering breaths of the three of you keeping you sane. The soft light, gleaming at the tip of your wands, didn't do much to brighten the empty hallways which now seemed like endless voids of darkness.

Occasionally Fred would warn you about Filch's cat approaching, or Peeves causing trouble nearby, but fortunately, you reached the classroom sooner than expected.

"Alohomora," you whispered, but the door didn't bulge when you tried to open it.

Fred grinned, "Surely a Charms professor wouldn't let such a cliché unlock his own classroom."

"Shut up," you grumbled. "Aberto!"

The door opened. Fred's eyes widened in amusement and you flashed him a charming smile on your way in.

You placed the boy to sit on a desk as you and your friend rushed to look through drawers and chests for something useful. Most of them were full of basic items such as old books and quills, half-full jars of salamander blood, pearl dust and gillyweed, and after long fifteen minutes of not having found anything, you slid your back down against the wall, sighing in frustration.

Sleep-deprivation was kicking in, but your anxiety was getting stronger.

You needed to do something. Fast.

"What about this chest right here?" Fred asked from the other side of the classroom, pointing at something under Flitwick's desk.

You shook your head, "Doesn't open, already tried. Even if the cure is there, we can't get it."

"I take it your brilliant spells don't work anymore?" the redhead teased and you so badly wished to slap away the cocky smirk on his face. Or kiss it. There was something oddly attractive about the way he'd set your nerves on fire, and you hated yourself for enjoying it. Fred seemed to love it too.

"If you're only here to be annoying, just leave."

"I'm here to help too. I can multitask."

You nearly jumped from the ground to strangle him, and he clearly saw through your intentions because his toothy grin almost split his face in two. That bastard.

That super annoying, devilishly handsome bastard.

"Are you gonna keep staring at me, or are you coming? Not that I mind the attention," he shrugged.

You rose to your feet and made your way over to where he was standing, not granting him the pleasure of facing him, "Don't flatter yourself, Weasley. Your stupidity is simply impossible to be unnoticed."

Fred laughed, "Oh, so I was annoying and now I'm stupid too? Make up your mind, woman."

You pulled out your wand and smirked at him over your shoulder.

"You said it yourself that you can multitask. Aberto!"

Nothing.

Fred squinted his eyes as he stared at the wooden chest. What spell could the professor have possibly used? Could you have even heard of it? The chances of ever finding the precious item were becoming grimmer with each passing second and the inevitable sense of dread had started to settle in.

After a minute Fred finally spoke.

"I think your problem is that you're using spells that only work on doors. You need a charm which unlocks containers."

"You might be right. What would that be then?" you enquired, glancing at the redhead. He took his own wand out of his robes.

"I know a spell that's come in handy before. Hopefully it will work now," he wettened his lips and said. "Cistem Aperio!"

Blinding light caused you to cover you eyes,  and the chest opened with a loud thud which could have easily alerted the entire floor of your presence if it wasn't for the silencing charm you were lucky to have used when you first entered the classroom.

You finally dared to open your eyes and kneeled on the ground, carefully rummaging through fancy-looking boxes and vials sparking with liquids that seemed to be quite important.

"What are we looking for?" Fred asked as he crouched next to you.

"Wound-Cleaning Potion. Purple."

It was weird having Fred stand this close to you; sparks of electricity would pierce your heart every time his shoulder brushed against yours, or his fingers would accidentally graze yours. And when they did, they had you longing more and more for their touch, for their warmth.

But this warmth did not belong to you.

You swallowed down the disappointment and instead attempted to focus on the task at hand.

Just as you had expected, the precious crystal bottle was carefully wrapped in sparkling cloth and placed inside a box that was hidden deep in the corner of the chest. You breathed a sigh of relief and got on your feet, determined to stay away from Fred. For his sake and yours.

"Here it is," you smiled at the boy as you walked over to him. "Fred, can you get me some bandages from the drawer in the back?" you asked, pointing right behind him, and he did as he was told.

You took the hand of the young Slytherin and examined it closely - the wound was sure to leave a nasty scar, one that would never heal.

"Can you make it disappear?" he asked, fearfully.

Your heart dropped. But you replied with all the courage you could muster.

"I can try."

Fred was soon by your side and placed the medical items on the desk; a half-full packet of cotton, some bandages and a small box of bandaids. You muttered a 'thanks', not even looking at him, and opened the middle-sized bottle. It spread a characteristic smell of ashes, mint and lemon when you lifted it towards your nose - it was ready to use.

"So what now?" Fred asked.

Not granting him a reply, you simply took a small piece of the cotton and dipped the opening of the bottle into it, soaking it with a generous amount of the purple, dense liquid. The smell grew stronger.

Fred could only watch as you yet again gently grabbed the boy's hand and carefully dabbed the back of it; a thin steam of smoke soared from the contact of wet cotton and wounded flesh, purple mixing with red, and the kid hissed in pain. You worked attentively but quickly, with measured gestures and a straight face, and you missed the way Fred's eyes seemed to soften at the sight of you helping a small kid.

But one thing baffled him - why did you suddenly start acting so emotionless? Even towards the youngling who didn't know a thing. And though your expression seemed calm and collected, the Gryffindor noticed your tensed jaw.

What he wasn't aware of, however, was the racing speed of you heart, increasing each second. He wasn't aware of the short, shallow breaths you were taking because if you had allowed yourself to breathe freely, you'd certainly let out tears along with the deeps sighs.

Every move was calculated, every word and breath.

You pressed a fresh piece of cotton against the now cleaned wound and kept it there as you began to roll the bandage over it, securing it in place. When you were done, you placed a gentle, lingering kiss on the hand.

"There. It should do the trick."

The boy's face lit up and he hugged you, not giving you another choice but to wrap your arms around his small body. At least you had managed to bring him back some of the lost warmth.

"We should get him to his dorm," you told Fred and despite not facing him, he knew the words were directed towards him. That still didn't prevent the stinging pain in his chest from being so effortlessly avoided by you, and he frowned, bewildered by your unexpected coldness towards him.

Had he accidentally done anything to upset you? Were you mad at him? What for?

The boy jumped to his feet, visibly less burdened despite the present tear stains on his puffy cheeks. You hoped he'd be able to get some sleep that night regardless of the circumstances.

The three of you left the classroom as quietly as you had entered it and went in the direction of the dungeons. Fred, as usual, did his job at looking at the map and keeping track of the names, moving on the yellow-ish piece to old parchment.

Fortunately, you reached the Slytherin common room without any disturbances along the way, and the boy went inside, eager to crawl into bed and not think about the ugly lady who had punished him so unfairly just a few hours ago.

The door closed without a sound, leaving you and Fred on your own.

His soft voice broke the burdening silence.

"Are you going to bed?"

If you were being honest, you hadn't even thought about sleep during your secret adventure and though your body was on the verge of giving out, your restless mind was sure to wander all night. And the idea of being alone with your thoughts scared you.

"Actually… I don't think so," you began, fiddling with your fingers in hopes to not let Fred see how much they were trembling. "I doubt I'd be able to get any sleep now."

"Me too, I admit," Fred scratched the back of his neck, uncertain as to how to make the situation less awkward than it was. Trying to get you to talk was hard enough as it was, but your sudden avoidance wasn't helping either. All Fred wished for was to witness the hopeful spark in your eyes, the spark that he had noticed diminish on the first day of school when the unsettling news was announced.

Fred was determined to bring the light back and see your joyous smile again.

Without skipping a beat he said.

"Come with me."

Your eyes shot up in surprise, meeting Fred's for the first time that night. You expected to see the ever-present playful mischief in them, but instead they glistened with something you could not quite recognize. The corners of his mouth had formed a smile, one that didn't intend to mock or provoke in any way, but still contained his usual boyish charm. It was humble and sincere, and along with the anticipating look in his eyes it read.

Trust me.

Your mouth went dry, any and all reasoning to stay vanishing in thin air as you tried to make sense out of your inner conflict. Fred surely wouldn't care if you said no, would he? It's not like he'd be offended that someone like you refused to go with him; why would he even be interested in you in the first place?

But the idea of spending some time alone with him did sound very tempting - you desperately needed some positivity in that moment, feeling exceptionally drained of all your energy after having to witness the emotional and psychological impact of Umbridge's dictatorship. And if there was someone who could lift your spirit even in such dark times, that would be Fred.

Screw the idea of a potential relationship, you needed a friend right now.

"Where to, Weasley?"

Fred grinned at the nickname and shoved hands into his pockets.

"The Astronomy Tower. Are you coming?"

You smiled at him.

"Sure."

It was indeed a brilliant idea to spend the night at the place where anyone rarely ever set a foot. Regardless of it being crowded during classes all day, the Tower wasn't a common choice for students to meet, them much preferring locations like the common rooms, the Great Hall, the school grounds or even the Black Lake. But the Tower did possess a magnetic, obscure charm which many people failed to comprehend and appreciate; charm only meant to lure the wandering souls seeking peace under the stars.

Fred approached the iron railing, breathing in the cold, early spring air, and sat cross-legged on the ground. As he saw you standing a few feet away from him, he patted the empty spot next to him.

"Come on now, don't leave me sitting on my own like that," he joked and his face lit up when he noticed the ghost of a smile on your lips for a brief moment. You joined Fred on the ground, settling on a polite distance from him, and though he was slightly disappointed by the gesture, he was grateful to be in your presence nonetheless.

Silence fell over both of you like soft velvet while you stared off into the horizon; the view reached the Forbidden Forest, the outlines of which had melted into the pitch black sky like ink, the lines between the two practically nonexistent in the dead hours of the night as they blurred into one endless void.

"I don't remember the last time I saw stars on the sky," Fred addressed your ever-listening companions above in a low, hushed voice that caused warmth to blossom within you regardless of the cold surrounding you.

"Me neither," you agreed, nostalgia creeping into you, but you decided you'd welcome it this time. "Such a shame we can't see the moon though."

Your friend nodded, lips pursed into a thin line, "That's because it's currently new moon. We'll need to wait for awhile until it's visible again."

You turned to Fred and the air was knocked out of your lungs. All you could do was silently admire the way the starlight was softening his sharp features and giving his usually flaming red hair a calming shade of copper. His eyes seemed to glow in the dark, and you found yourself coming to the conclusion you had realised long ago.

He was such a beautiful man.

Those glowing eyes landed on yours and you felt your face heat up.

"How are you?" he asked abruptly and you choked out in bafflement.

"Y-You mean, right now? Or in general?..."

"How are you coping?" he rephrased. "You know, with everything going on. I noticed Umbridge bothering you recently."

A shuddering breath.

"I like to think that I'm doing better than others," you nodded hesitantly, finding it hard to sort out your emotions. "I'm more worried about the most vulnerable among us, the youngest students. They're just children. They're the ones that are most terrified. I really hope Dumbledore will be able to do something about it… no matter where he might be right now."

Fred was watching you intently; he did not miss your expression, darkened with concern, nor did he miss your slumped figure, slightly hunched over for a reason he believed was other than exhaustion. Your friend moved closer and nudged your foot with his.

"I don't want you to talk to me about the rest. I want to hear about you. I can clearly see you're being tormented by her."

"As if you're not."

"That's not the point," he insisted and placed a hand on your knee, causing you to face him. His smile was gone. "I need to know how this madness is affecting you."

"I couldn't care less about what that toad puts me through," you shook your head dismissively and shrugged. Why was he getting so worked up about it? "It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does! It matters to me!" Fred hissed in frustration. "Do you think it doesn't hurt me every time I see Umbridge picking at you or calling you for detention? Because it bloody does and you have no idea how horrible it feels to not be able to help you."

He gave your knee a squeeze.

"For once, just for one time, please. Please, stop trying to be the hero of everybody. Believe me, we see- I see how hard you're trying to keep your chin up despite all the shit you're facing, and that's admirable, but right now it's not necessary. Let go. It's just me."

A way too familiar lump formed in your throat and your chest constricted painfully before it harshly dilated, letting out choked breaths. Fred was quick to envelope you in his long arms before your tears even rolled down your cheeks, and when they did, they met his shoulder. Your hands flew around his neck, body falling into his and soaking up his warmth. Fred pressed his soft lips to your temple, calming the racing pulse as you cried freely and unapologetically. Darling, you feel too much.

It's just me.

Your friend didn't let you out of his hold even when your heart-wrenching whimpers were reduced to weak sobs. He continued cradling your exhausted body which was on the verge of completely giving out. But Fred didn't mind, finding astonishing strength in your vulnerability.

After what seemed like hours, you forced yourself to timidly whisper, lip quivering, "I'm scared... And confused."

"Me too, sweetheart," Fred hummed into your ear. "Me too."

You wiped away the trails of dried tears lingering on your face.

"There's just too much going on. Too much that I'm not ready for."

Realization flashed in Fred's brown eyes and they looked down at you with so much longing, sincerity, but also sympathy and understanding.

You weren't angry at him. You were afraid.

And that was alright.

There was enough time, not need for a rush.

Fred had been waiting for years to find out whether his burning feelings for you were reciprocated, constantly suppressing them in fear of scaring you away and losing you. And now that he knew your heart belonged to him like his did to you, all the stars above couldn't contain his untamed happiness, pure and hopeful.

Surely he could wait a little more for you to grow comfortable with your own emotions.

Fred tightened his hold around you and pecked your cheek tenderly, the subtle touch sending a shock throughout your body and subsiding your need for sleep.

"That's alright," he whispered. "Rest now."

@self-ship-love @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hufflexpuff @neovannii

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Masterlist

[maladelusio]

Hi it's me again, I have a few more questions in regard to fantasy!verse. 1) Due to Artiste!Mettaton being self aware in the loops like Stage, did he change up his strategies/actions towards Poppet!Frisk depending on their actions that loop? 2) When and how did the twins get separated from each other in the past? 3) How does Blackout determine when an AU should be destroyed and does he sometimes gets into arguments/fights with Fantasy over their fate?

hey again!

1. Artiste doesnt get crystal clear memories from other loops, more of like... a cliffs notes of what happened (from his pov).

So regarding like, FIGHTs, he'd probably stay relatively similar since theres not that much time in a loop to rehaul his whole style. He might have a Special Attack, perhaps..?

But yes, he definitely also changes up his actions and I bet he does different broadcasts (canon Mettaton comes up with cooking, newscasting, theatre and just fight/dancing without much prep so I think artiste can work with the loop time) ... at the same time, he's also been in flowey's loops too so he probably feels a little bit stuck in a rut- but Poppet would be a new inspiration, in a way! (the feelings they inspire are. bad. initially)

2. The twins' backstory is a little wibbly wobbly but so far @candy-cryptid and I were thinking that they'd eventually stop in a Dancetale (2 dads acquired!), then accidentally portal to a Swapfell (2 more dads acquired!), and then from there Blackout would try to figure out how to portal and then get himself stuck in the Anti-Void.

His goop might start glitching a bit then (but it only really goes weird once he starts living in there full time), but he wouldn’t actually be stuck for long enough to become an Error or anything. However, he wouldn't be able to get out by himself- its his eventual realization of the resonation of his half-apple soul with his brother's that shows him the way out, like following a string of fate...

Fantasy + Blackout don't actually get separated from each other for long (except by choice once they're adults). That's one big difference between them and their canon counterparts- they run, but they do it together.

3. Destruction criteria... Well, just negativity isn't enough. There's obvious things like viruses/extreme corruption/hacking damage or worlds just totally falling apart, as well as worlds that never got finished (even if Fantasy tries, he can't be everywhere, and if the Creator leaves then he can't make them come back) and are slowly corroding.

He generally scans over worlds based on emotional tone but if anything catches his interest he'll observe the world for a while without interfering - he figured out how to set up viewing screens in the Anti Void.

He probably has a grudge against a lot of bitty aus because they're extremely dystopian under the surface, like snuff films.

Blackout's also not a fan of endless time loops with a lot of negativity- he'll generally try to remove the loop source first, but might just scoop the inhabitants out and dump them with Core Frisk somewhere and destroy the world instead.

He has a bit of a weak spot for someone pleading for anyone to help them when they know no help will ever come.

Negativity always exists, but a world that drives despair is disgusting to him.

When they were younger, Blackout and Fantasy used to argue a lot and SERIOUSLY about destroying AUs. But after one particularly terrible AU where Fantasy wouldn't back down, Blackout just left him there in disgust... Fantasy got very badly hurt before Blackout felt it. Blackout destroyed the world (there were probably a handful of monsters on Fantasy's side, but Blackout wouldn't have cared about that) and took Fantasy back to the Anti Void to heal. They've had a lot of conversations about why and what and how destruction can work and how Fantasy can't destroy himself trying to help when people don't want to be helped.

Now, they generally travel separately and they understand what each other are doing and trust they'll make good decisions. Blackout doesn't actually interfere/destroy worlds nearly as much as Fantasy does, and if he's ever uncertain he can always call for his brother and they can debate.

But if they both DO find the same AU and both STRONGLY feel they're right to try and save/destroy it, you know what might work? Let's fight for it. The extra time spent fighting might tip the world over one way or another/reveal more information that might change their minds. Also, since the twins are pretty equally matched, the winner is probably the one who is boosted by the AU in question- if it's more positive, Fantasy wins and has a better argument for his ability to fix things, and vice versa.

Even if one wins over the other, they'll still help their brother with things like destroying hackers/time travel misusers (Blackout) or deglitching/filling gaps/helping evacuate (Fantasy)

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 274 SPOILERS

(Leave the self-sacrificing for the pros.)

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We're starting right where we left off last chapter, with Enji aggressively flying towards Shigaraki.

What, does he have OFA vision now? Can he sense were it is? I mean that would make sense since Izuku can sense AFO apparently.

(Edit: You can kind of make out the little lights representing the quirks in this panel)

Enji surrounds Tomura with a curtain of fire and tells him he's trapped, so of course Tomura walks right through it. Enji winds up for another attack to incapacitate him.

ISN'T THAT JUST... SWELL

That makes everything a whole lot more difficult. If he heals as soon as he takes damage then the heroes can't really incapacitate him, can they? Where the hell is Eraser Head when you need him? Probably having a mental breakdown over Crust.

Enji shoots a concentrated blast of fire at Shigaraki sending him into his little island.

Enji is attempting to contact people for help as he continuously blast Shigaraki with fire. Tomura reaches out of the flames looking like a Zombie trying to free itself from its grave.

What? Did he get more than one quirk?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?

Is it because he has the original AFO quirk so he got everything that came with it? Assuming AFO the person gave up his quirk after he got his face smashed by All Might, we don't really know what kind of quirks Tomura has now because all the quirks AFO had during him and AM second fight were different.

Also, did he just pick up the quirk erasing bullets that weren't destroyed? That's not good. Oh and we mustn't forget the hand. Aesthetic is important when your tearing down hero society.

Tomura says something inside of him is demanding he get his hands on OFA. Please stay far away from my child please and tan q.

SO APPARENTLY HE CAN SEE QUIRKS NOW WHICH MEAN HE NOW KNOWS WHERE MIDORIYA AND FRIENDS ARE HIDING. Tho I do think it's kinda cool how the quirks show up as little lights and how OFA seems to be the brightest one.

OMG MIDORIYA'S "Oh shit" FACE LMFAO

He knows he's fucked. Like, what is he supposed to do in this situation?

Please be careful Burnin.

Two sides of the same coin...?

We cut to the Wild Wild Pussycats HQ for a brief moment so we can witness Ragdoll be sad about bot being able to help since she doesn't have "Search" anymore. Roll credits.

(Edit: Is that how he's seeing their quirks? Cause he has search? But that's not how her quirk works tho. But if he does have it then that mean AFO gave it up right after he took it. But then how did he know AM was coming during that battle? So many questions...)

Burnin tells the kids to evacuate with the heroes and civilians while she prepares to go help Enji with his very one-sided battle against Shigaraki.

Shigaraki does a superman jump into the air and is heading towards Midoriya's location which is, unfortunately, with all the other evacuees. Midoriya is very aware of the fact that Shigaraki is following him and he looks like he's about to do something very in character.

*intense fan girl screaming*

HE WENT WITH HIM!!! IF I WASN'T SO TERRIFIED OF THEM DYING I WOULD BE VERY PROUD RIGHT NOW!

He doesn't really have a choice but to leave. If he stays, he'll risk everyone's lives.

What do you mean "it's difficult to be certain that's the reason why"? IT'S VERY OBVIOUS THAT'S THE REASON WHY!

Don't worry guys, they're just going back for that one guys tax receipts.

At least they have each other. I'm just glad Izuku isn't doing it alone.

Uraraka better sit her ass down and stay with the others. Actually her quirk would be great in terms of not touching the ground so maybe she should go with them. Then again, apparently Shiggy can fly now so idk how useful that would be.

How is Midoriya gonna explain why a super villain wants him specifically, dead so badly. Does Shigaraki even know he's chasing Midoriya right now? All he can see are the quirks, he can't see who has them. And what if the entire plan backfires and Shigaraki decides to go after the civilians anyway? Then what? And they still don't know about Gigantomachia and crew making their way downtown, walking fast, faces slashed and their home bound. And where is everyone else from the hospital? Enji was at the back of the line so if he made it out so did they. Right?

Next chapter is gonna be Intense.

Until next time.

[manikrege]

I reached out to the kid I bullied in school. It hurt like a bitch.

Moving places makes you realize how badly humans need closure. How hard we strive for the chapters of our lives to open & end neatly, one by one. And how much we hate cliffhangers, incomplete pages, or vague endings off the screen.

I tried to seek my closure yesterday. Because I'm moving away from the neighborhood I grew up in. Don't worry, it's nothing I'm going to miss. School sucked for me, as it did for most 'studious' kids.

Fat, nerdy, weird, and a bit on the 'girlish' side, it was like this boy entered the class wearing a cap that said, "Your new favorite target." Of course, the cool kids ganged up & left me broken. I felt all alone like a wet puppy abandoned in the rain.

So like a dog, I learned survival, the ugly way. I bit back, chewed on smaller prey. And before I knew it, became the very thing I hated the most. A bully.

Roy, let's call him that, had the same awkwardness that had made me a target. His only disadvantage was that he didn't want to fight back. This allowed me to slowly strangle him, one taunt at a time.

It started out as lame jokes that you'd expect from any teenager. Calling him "gay," laughing at his curves, making him feel unwanted. This graduated into mild jabs & punches. And then finally, one day, the five of us spent 2 straight hours 'roasting' him, stepping on every last piece of his self-confidence that we could find on the floor.

Turns out, he'd had enough & his father was at my door with an audio recording of what we thought was sublime standup comedy. I felt ashamed but cried victim, pushing the blame back onto him. Tit for tat.

We stopped playing with him after that day. He had become a traitor. I don't know if he found that liberating. And if he did, I can't imagine how fucked up that would be ... feeling happy to finally have no one you can make memories with.

I went abroad and forgot about Roy. Until yesterday when we were packing up and I saw him pass by. Something snapped. Like an ice cube being run down my neck.

As someone who has been through so many changes in the last few years, I felt an urgent need to prove to myself that I'm no longer the person I was years in 2014. I wanted to leave this shithole behind for good.

So I messaged him on Facebook.

Dear Roy,

I won't ask if you remember me because I know you do. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for how I treated you.

There's no explanation. No my side of the story. No excuse. And they weren't just harmless jokes.

I bullied you badly and caused you a lot of pain. Practically ruined your childhood. And I don't know if you're doing better. I hope you are.

You didn't deserve any of the shit I gave you. I did it because I felt powerless myself and needed something to fill that hollow space in my days.

We moved out yesterday & I wanted you to know that I'm aware of my mistakes and although I can't change the past, I am working to heal, both myself and others. I'm part of some NGOs that help poor kids in Majiwada. I do regular activities to put a smile on their faces.

Again, I know this isn't enough or even related but I hope someday you can forgive me. Even if you can't, I understand. And I really wish that you find love, happiness, and peace wherever you go - yes you do deserve those things. I was wrong.

Please let me know if I can do anything for you.

Thanks.

He responded with that "blue thumbs up" icon. That's all. I didn't push it, either. We didn't have a heart-to-heart conversation to go over everything. I'll probably never see him again or know how he turned out to be. It just is.

So did I get my closure? As I unpack in my new room, I'm not sure if it matters anymore. Because I think human relationships are much messier than we let on. You cannot just file them into chapters.

Sometimes they'll end abruptly.

Sometimes they'll reappear again and again, unexpectedly.

And sometimes you'll find new meanings every time you go back to old pages.

More importantly, you cannot just erase the damage you do to people. You cannot say sorry hoping everything will be forgotten and forgiven. The harsh truth about scars is that they never really heal.

But someday someone will look at those scars you caused on people, and madly fall in love with them. Someone will find that pain beautiful. Someone will turn it into a source of strength and love. And you can take the first step towards making that happen - by just saying one word.

GET TO THE POINT- If you think you hurt someone, you're right 9/10 times because we're hardwired for empathy & kindness so the moment we give in to hate, our mind sends us a small hunch. So just say you're sorry. Not "sorry if I hurt you." Not "sorry but it wasn't my intention." Just. Fucking. Sorry. Own what you did. It means everything.

DON'T FORGET IT- Yes, it's best if you repent asap but even if it's 10 years later, admitting to your fuckups is the right thing to do.

DON'T EXPECT AN OK- Your sorry is about you choosing to become better. For the person in front of you, it represents lots of trauma, heavy baggage, and painful memories that they've probably suppressed or internalized. So they may not forgive you or even respond. Please respect their privacy & feelings this time. And move on.

Trust me, this was one of the hardest things I've done as an adult. That said, I think we all did stupid things when we were kids. I think we were all MADE TO DO stupid things by a select few who understood intuitively how war works. I think most of us were a form of entertainment. Puppets. Dogs in a fighting ring. Dogs trying to fit in, or be liked, or just be left alone.

Just realizing how insanely toxic this entire game was ... is probably the most obvious sign that you're growing up. I know I am. I'm actively working to be truer to the kid I was before they took him away from me. And I know it's not going to be some beautiful transformative journey away from my past like they show in the movies.

It'll be ugly, too painful to bear sometimes. Because I'll meet parts of me that I hate. Parts you'd hate if you knew them. Parts that I'd rather not be remembered for. But you know what?

Sometimes, the first step in conquering your demons is accepting that they exist.

That they make you but don't define you. That you have a choice to be kinder, sweeter, warmer. And the only thing that matters is whether you have the courage to make that choice even when the whole world is giving you a billion reasons not to.

Be that one reason everyone needs to heal.

[pitifulpeach]

It's been a very long time since I have really used Tumblr.

Hello, those who might read this. Here's a small update:

I've been busy on an insane adventure; navigating newly diagnosed ADHD alongside my increasing generalized anxiety. I have spent my whole life dealing with the fact I'm mentally ill. It started off as talks of depression and self harm with counselors in school, going to little private groups for kids who come from drug-addicted parents and toxic homes, learning about anxiety from my first therapist.

All I understood at the time was something was wrong with me. We would talk about all the ways this thing that was wrong with me was hurting me and going to continue to hold me back. We talked about identifying my feelings. We talked about my mom, my dad and my friends.

Why didn't we talk about reactivity, mindfulness and coping skills?

I started using drugs and alcohol from 2009-2016 as a form of coping and disguised it as partying and fun. I learned how to forget about the problem, ignore the world around me, go numb. I was setting myself up to fail, because I hadn't considered where I actually was. I just knew I was hurting less finally.

For a long time I had adjusted to the sadness, apathy, short-term thinking and disdain for the way the world works. I didn't expect much. I didn't like much anymore. I avoided. I isolated. This sad, broken, tired, hopeless and selfish person was just who I was, I thought.

I was struggling with showing up for work, showering, binge-eating, keeping my home clean, paying my bills, impulse spending, suicidal ideation, hyper sexuality, nasty self-talk, executive functioning issues, memory problems, and so much more. I had stopped the drugs and alcohol, but it literally left me with no way to cope anymore except for my binge-eating. And to top it off, I was living with a raging alcoholic who told me I was the cause of all his problems, broke things every night and put over 3k in damages into the apartment. But I was never given the skills to put myself in any other position and it made all my preexisting problems so much worse to be living in fear - every night I had to prepare for how bad it could be, how much of a mess I'd have to clean and if he was going to give me a verbal beating did I have somewhere to be away from him? he was hurting just like me and no one taught him how to cope or heal either. so we dragged each other down every day and night.

I realized I was itching for structure and ways to manage my emotions. I wanted so badly to feel like I was present for life instead of just getting by and trying not to die. I wanted to learn to love myself enough to care for myself finally. I realized I had been avoiding everything for so long that it was finally starting to claw it's way out.

I had the worst breakdown I have ever had but I finally asked for help.

I had to accept where I was. I had to let all that pain flow in and know it was going to be terrifying. I had to let someone into this mess with me if they were going to help at all. I had to open my mind to all the different ways of healing. once I did this, it was like I stepped into another realm. I saw so many possibilities I never saw before. I saw that I have more control than I ever thought but also learned how to accept when I can't be in control. I learned about coping, radical acceptance, forgiveness and mindfulness.

I'm still me. I'm still sad, broken and hopeless but it's less often and when I'm in that place I'm kinder to myself. My feelings and I work together as a team now to understand better and pull me back to a healthier mindset faster.

I'm still learning, I'm still doing work, I'm still me and always will be but I'm becoming more of a me that I want to be instead of one that is controlled entirely by my emotion mind. I'm becoming someone whose identity isn't entirely revolved around the pain that was done to me and I used to think that was impossible.