#sick not suck lel

[sayten-the-hellspawn]

It's almost 2 am and I just realized something

Orange Piccolo has the same color palette as (or at least VERY close to) Old Dutch Crunchys

Hes a cheeto style snacc

[dannystheone]

We’re Gonna MAKE You Remember! (Lee Kenny/Ler Stan)

Hey guys! Here’s the ADHD Kenny fic for you! I’m actually running low on requests and inspiration so if anyone has any ideas, my DM’s are open! I’d actually be also open to a little Genshin if anyone has a drabble idea just to mix things up, I’m sure you guys are sick of constant SP lol just let me know! 

also this comes from my own ADHD experiences I’m so stubborn when it comes to lists and reminders because I gaslight myself and tell myself I’ll remember something but I NEVER do 💀 I’ve been doing better and putting things in my notes app though 

also i didn’t feel like doing kenny mumbles it’s kinda hard lel 

WARNINGS: Teenagers swearing! They’re aged up in this

 The boys are sick and tired of Kenny always forgetting the things they tell him to get for them when out on grocery runs! After the millionth time, they make sure he doesn’t forget. 

                                          ```````````````````````````````````````````````` 

 “Dude get off. GET OFF! Dammit, I’m down.” Stan rolled his eyes as he shot zombies from his character’s laying position on the ground. Kyle axed through zombie’s heads as he tried to locate Stan’s glowing figure on the map to help him. 

 “Ah dude, you’re like three floors up! How the hell am I supposed to reach you?” Kyle sighed as he packed a pipe bomb and picked up more ammo from the supply station. It was Throwback Thursday and Game Night, so the boys settled on Left 4 Dead 2 to play. They were in a Versus match with four other people online on the opposite team playing as the zombies. Cartman cackled as Stan’s character, Nick, screamed out in pain as the zombies stomped on him. 

 “Bahahaha! Look at Stan dying! Get good already, dickface!” Cartman’s character, Coach, started tea-bagging Nick as he shot the zombies surrounding Nick’s body. 

 “Dude, Cartman revive me!” Stan demanded. Cartman shoved chips in his mouth as he started shooting Stan’s character. Nick took substantial damage and started cursing out Coach. 

 “Ahahaha! Suck me off, asshole!” Cartman left Nick with worst health than he found him in, and threw pipe-bombs down below near Kyle. 

 “Cartman, you fucking asshole! Help us!” Just at that moment, Kyle was caught by a smoker on the third balcony. Kyle’s character, Rochelle, started kicking her legs as she was trapped from the smoker’s tongue. 

 “AYE! If anyone’s exterminating Jew’s it’s me!” Cartman’s character sniped the smoker. The smoker died from a headshot and released Kyle’s character. 

 “Oh finally, you’re actually useful- DUDE!” Don’t fucking shoot me, douchebag!” Kyle shouted at Cartman. Cartman laughed with his mouth full of chips. 

 “Aaaaand I’m dead. Thanks guys.” Stan’s square of the screen read that his character was dead, and spectated Kyle’s screen as Rochelle. Stan sighed and threw himself back to lean on the couch. The door opened behind the boys as someone stepped inside the house. 

 “Omph, hey guymphs.” Kenny walked into the living room carrying grocery bags with him. Stan turned back to greet him as Kyle and Cartman kept playing. 

 “’Sup dude. Jump in, we got you as Ellis. Dead Center finale. D’you get the soda?” Kenny sat down on the couch as Stan started rifling through the grocery bags. 

  “M’yeah, I got the soda. Dude it cost two more bucks than last time for no reason.” Kenny removed his hood and shook out his blonde locks. Stan cracked open a cold one and took a sip out of it.

 “CARTMAN! Get me up already!” Kyle exclaimed. A jockey got Rochelle down to the ground, and a spitter spat directly onto his position. Kenny settled into the couch as both him and Stan watched the carnage. 

 “Can’t. I’m down too.” Coach got down from harassing an aggressive tank, and was sure he could mow down the zombie horde when he covered the tank in boomer bile. However, there were too many zombies at once, plus a stalking hunter that finished him off. 

 “This is what happens when you shoot your teammates, you fucking retard!” Kyle rolled his eyes as Cartman shifted on his beanbag chair and pointed a fat finger in his face. 

 “AYE! That’s half the fun, Kahl! Left 4 Dead is boring as shit if you don’t shoot your teammates!” Cartman retorted. The living room was filled with the agonized screams of the dying characters and the growls of the zombies, before eventually cutting to the loading screen after both characters died. 

 Kyle turned back to greet Kenny and look through the grocery bags. “’Sup Kenny. Did you get the Twizzlers like I asked?” Kenny snapped his fingers as his face looked enlightened. 

 “Thaaaat’s what I forgot! I swear I was gonna fucking lose it. I knew I forgot something I just didn’t know what. I got Oreos though.” Kenny offered the package to Kyle, but Kyle turned him down. 

 “Uh, no thanks man, I don’t like Oreos.” Cartman perked up at the sound of food and snatched the package from Kenny’s hands. 

 “I’ll be taking that, thank you, ‘food stamps’.” Kenny rolled his eyes at the nickname as Stan turned to Kenny. 

 “Oh Kenny sorry, did you get the M n’ M’s I asked for? I texted you about them.” Stan looked up to Kenny on the couch. Kenny held the side of his neck as he sighed. 

 “Sorry Stan. Totally slipped my mind. I was thinking about them too, but I passed by the aisle.” Stan’s gaze turned downcast as he sipped his soda again. 

 “Uh, it’s alright dude, no sweat.” Cartman scrolled through his phone as Kyle picked up his controller. 

 “Hey ‘beggar’ did you get my Ding-Dong’s and Ho-Ho’s and Twinkies?” Cartman asked Kenny. Kenny didn’t like these new nicknames he was trying out for size. 

 “Damn fatass you want the whole fucking store?” Kyle accused. 

 “Shut your ass up Jew! I know your gun is pink choosing Rochelle as your character, gaywad!” Cartman pointed at a frustrated Kyle. 

 “My gun isn’t pink!!” Kyle shouted back. 

 “Uh Cartman, I forgot. Sorry. I don’t even remember you asking for all that stuff to be honest...” Kenny spoke up. The boys inwardly groaned as less and less snacks were available for the hangout. 

 Stan looked up to Kenny and threw up his hands. “Dude what the hell is going on? You forgot nearly everything we asked for, and this isn’t the first time this has happened either.” Kyle looked back at Kenny and agreed with Stan. 

 “Yeah man, about half of the stuff we ask for or all the stuff we ask for just slips your mind. And I tell you every single time to bring a grocery list, but you-” Kenny put up his hands as he scooched forward on the couch. 

 “I don’t like bringing grocery lists ‘cause the list is too small to need one.” Kenny explained. Cartman turned his head to the side without taking his eyes off his phone. He was scrolling through a #shitpost channel in a Discord server. 

 “Clearly not dipshit, if you’re forgetting the whole fucking thing.” Cartman called out. “We can’t even hang out like this if we don’t have anything to fucking eat!” 

 “Well what do you guys want from me? I don’t know why I forget stuff, it’ll just be in my brain one minute and then it goes *poof* like it was never there.” Kenny made it look like his brain was blowing up with both his hands to accentuate his point.

 “We want you to swallow your pride and go back to the store with a list this time. So you don’t forget anything.” Stan stated, straightforward. Kenny put up his hands with his eyes closed. 

 “Alright, alright, just tell me everything you guys want and I’ll go back and get it.” Kenny said. Kyle shook his head, his curls swishing from side to side. 

 “No dude that’s not gonna work. Bring a list with you so you don’t forget any groceries this time.” Kyle tried for lightness, but Kenny’s stubbornness was starting to upset him.

 “I don’t need it guys, I got it! It’ll just be a few things, I’ll remember this time!” Kenny argued. Stan pinched his two eyelids together to suppress a headache as Cartman swiftly stood up from his beanbag chair. Well, as swiftly as he could anyway. 

 “Alright Kenny, you give us no other choice. Just remember we gave you plenty of chances. Stan, go grab a marker from the junk drawer in my kitchen. Kyle, help me out here.” Stan stood up to do what he was told, and figured Cartman would just fill out the list himself on paper and hand it to Kenny. Stan walked into the kitchen and started opening random drawers to try and locate the marker. 

 “Hey what- DUDE! What the- GET OFF! GUYS!” Stan located a black marker eventually, but heard commotion from the living room. Stan ran back to the living room to see Kyle and Cartman wrestling down a resisting Kenny. 

 “What the fuck-” Stan stuttered as Cartman looked up from his place. He had Kenny’s left arm and Kyle had his right. Kenny was in a half-squatting position while he bucked and tried to throw his friends off of him. 

 “Stan! Grab his legs!” Cartman pointed and ordered at Stan. Kenny threw his elbow back to try and jab Kyle in the gut. He turned wild as Stan advanced toward him and kicked his legs out. 

 “Get the hell off me!” Kenny demanded as Stan took hold of his legs and all three boys lowered a writhing Kenny onto the carpet. Kyle sat on the floor and hugged Kenny’s arm between his legs, while Cartman was less courteous and just sat on his elbow. Kenny growled as Stan parted his legs and sat on his thigh. 

 “Alright Stan, take this down.” Cartman reached forward and grabbed the hem of Kenny’s jacket and shirt and lifted it up to his chest, revealing his bronzed skin. Stan put two and two together as he uncapped the black marker he had. 

 “Guys seriously, get the hell off me! I’ll remember, I swear!” Kenny twisted and squirmed underneath his friends, his pants riding lower on his hips with his struggling. Stan held Kenny’s bare side to keep him steady. 

 “Alright, we want more Dr. Pepper, we need M n’ M’s, the Ding-Dong’s, the Ho-Ho’s-” Kyle listed off. Stan ducked his head and started writing down the grocery list onto Kenny’s bare tummy. Kenny huffed and started to sputter under Stan’s marker; his tough guy struggling crumbling as soon as the marker started to write. 

 “Pfft- Pfmhmhmt- St-Stahan! S-Stop it!” Stan held a tighter grip on Kenny’s side to keep the skin taught, but it slipped under his thumb as Kenny’s tummy spasmed. Stan’s eyebrows furrowed as he wrote out every word as legibly as he could. 

 “Okay, Ding-Dong’s, Ho-Ho’s, M n’ M’s, what else?” Stan was finishing up a few words on Kenny’s skin while trying to keep the marker steady on Kenny’s shuddering tummy. 

 “Oh, we need Twizzlers, Junior Mints and Coke.” Kyle recited. Kenny took a breath as Stan flattened Kenny’s stomach and wrote the continuing grocery list underneath the initial groceries. Kenny laughed out as he twisted and pulled at his elbows. Kyle hugged Kenny’s arm tighter to his chest to better restrain him, while Cartman scrolled through his phone. 

 “Pfftah- ahahaha! Stan- Stahahahan!” Kenny giggled and brought up his one free leg fruitlessly. Stan’s eye winced in concentration as he tried to keep his lettering straight across Kenny’s belly, but his flexing was making it hard. At least it was a flat surface. He couldn’t imagine trying to write on Cartman’s folds. 

 “Dude quit fucking squirming- Jesus-” Stan complained and pushed down on Kenny’s hip to finish up the last of the lettering. 

 “I cahahahan’t hehehehelp it ahahahasshole!” Kenny yelled out, and tried to fold himself in half to escape the marker. His belly made a small wrinkle as he curled himself up, and smudged the writing. 

 “Aw dude, what the fuck, Kenny? Now I have to write over what I just wrote so you can read it.” Stan, completely oblivious to what he was subjecting his friend to, forced Kenny to straighten out his belly and started writing over the words he already wrote. 

 “Aahahahaha! Fuhuhuhuck- Stahahahan stohohohop! Pl-Plehehehease!” Kenny’s free leg kicked out just to bring itself back up again in a desperate attempt to protect himself. That damn marker was too teasy. Kenny was gonna shove it so far up Stan’s...Kyle watched Stan write down the grocery list curiously as Kenny’s tummy pulsed up and down with his laughter. 

 “Alright, anything else?” Stan asked as he re-wrote the grocery items. Kenny laid limp and breathed out on the carpet as Cartman spoke up. 

 “Yeah, we’re gonna need three packs of Mega-Stuf Oreos, two liters of Sprite and three bags of Doritos. Make sure you get the Cool Ranch ones or I’m sending you back a third time.” Cartman stated. Kyle rolled his eyes as Stan began writing down the requested groceries. Kenny’s laughter filled up the living room again as Kyle looked at Cartman. 

 “Chrihihist! Stohohop ahahalready! This- Thihihis suhuhuhucks!” Kenny cried out as his tummy tried curling up in protection. Stan was writing over the skin above his belly button now. The surface was a bit raised here from the flat muscle, but the contracting from his laughter made the area shaky. 

 “You wonder why you’re tubby, fatboy.” Kyle antagonized Cartman. Kenny’s hand clenched and swatted for Kyle’s face. Kyle’s head jolted back at the small attempted attack, and bat Kenny’s hand in retaliation. 

 “I’d be big boned any day of the week than a retarded Jew, Kahl.” Cartman didn’t look up from his phone as Cartman retaliated. Kyle scoffed as Stan finished the last item on Kenny’s stomach. 

 “Okay, that’s three liters of Sprite, two bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, and three packs of Double-Stuf Oreos-” Cartman shook his head as he looked up at Stan from his phone. 

 “No no no. It was TWO liters of Sprite, three bags of Cool Ranch Doritos and three packs of MEGA-Stuf Oreos.” Cartman quoted. Stan pushed back his hat as it fell into his eyes. Kenny breathed underneath the three of them with his head back on the carpet. 

 “Oh crap. Well what should I do? It’s already on him?” Stan asked. Kyle shrugged. 

 “Just scribble it off and write it again.” Kyle suggested. Stan shrugged himself as he took the marker and scribbled out the writing on Kenny’s belly. Kenny jolted and bucked his hips to try and throw off the marker with renewed energy. 

 “GAHAHA-hahahad! Nohohoho no no stohohop!” Kenny’s eyes screwed shut as Stan blacked-out the numbers for the Sprite, Doritos, AND corrected the name on the Oreos. Stan tightened his knees around Kenny’s thigh to keep him steady, and started to write the new requested numbers over the scribbles in smaller font. 

 “Jeez Kenny, you’re jumpy today- what gives?” Kyle asked his friend. Kenny’s hair shook against Kyle’s shoe as he laughed with pink cheeks. His arm hung loose in Kyle’s grip as he stopped fighting at that point and just waited for it to be over. 

 “It fuhuhuhucking- pfft- ahahaha- hahahahaa! Stahahan I’m gohohohonna kihihihill yohohohou!” The tips of Kenny’s ears burned as Stan finished up the rest of the changes made to the grocery list. 

 “Okay...alright. That should be it. Anything else guys?” Stan asked. Kyle and Cartman exchanged glances and shrugged as Kenny slumped back on the floor. 

 “I think that should be it. We’re gonna order the pizza, so we’ll be good on dinner.” Kyle said. Stan nodded as the three boys got up off of their friend. Kenny slowly rose up off the floor and pulled his shirt down in a huff. 

 “You got all that Kenny? You good? You were acting really weird when we were writing down that grocery list.” Stan laid a supportive hand on Kenny’s shoulder. Kenny bumped his hand off and stepped away from his friend. 

 “Yeah, cause you assholes were holding me down and tickling me the whole time!” Kenny exclaimed with splayed hands. Stan, Kyle and Cartman all had confused looks on their faces. 

 “...Ooooooh!” They all said in unison with brightened expressions when it hit them. Kenny scoffed as he threw his hood back on his head. 

 “That makes sense. Well, you coulda said something earlier! Well, anyway, go ahead and grab that really quick at the market and we can hang out sooner.” Kyle clapped a hand on Kenny’s back as they sent him on his way. Kenny tightened his hoodie strings in embarrassment as he walked towards the door. 

 “Fumph youmph guymphs. Serioumphly...” Kenny grumbled and headed out the door.

                                              ``````````````````````````````````````` 

 At the grocery store, Kenny carried a basket in one hand filled with soda, candy and cookies. He was sure he was forgetting items, but he tried his hardest to remember everything possible. He wouldn’t even think about what was tattooed on his stomach, because every time he did, he could feel the teasy trace of the marker on his skin. 

 When he knew for a fact that he was forgetting things from his basket, and did NOT want to go through everything he had to go through a second time, he made his way to the mirror aisle. 

 Kenny set his basket down and begrudgingly lifted his hoodie and shirt to glance at the grocery list on his tummy. His belly above his navel was tattooed with three lines of groceries, with a mess of scribbles on the bottom line where Stan had messed up. Kenny’s face burned to a crisp at the sight, and shoved his hoodie down with a furious quickness. 

 No matter how much he would never admit it, the list actually did help Kenny remember what he needed from the store for his friends. And after that experience, Kenny definitely left the house with a grocery list more often. 

[tiredemzz]

here’s my pet cat chat-

yall can pet him, he don’t bite lel

I been sick yall- it sucks ass :p

my cat’s name is noor/nour which means light :)

I had him for about a year now, he’s my baby but likes to cause trouble lmao

he has a brother named Simba, he belongs to my uncle :)

[altraviolet]

Should Swerve ever have the chance to understand the "datapad joke"(if we can talk about it), what would be his reaction?

I hope you're feeling great c:

I haven't thought about the answer to your question, to be honest :D I'm sure his reaction would be hilarious. Actually, while sitting here, I thought of a reaction. If I can get it into the story, I will.

Folks have been asking about crew reactions to R/SW, and I can tell you, I honestly haven't thought about those yet. We'll get there, I'm sure.

Thanks for the well wishes. I'm getting over a cold. Back to work tomorrow, then I have a couple weeks off!!!!!! AMAZING. Hoping to really work on a lot of TEG during that vacation. I've managed to do about 8000 5000* words the past three days while sick. The lesson here is: if you don't have to work, you can do what makes you happy, and you can be productive. Work sucks. In this essay about capitalism, I will

*misread 'word count' vs 'selected word count' lel

[blackherlvig]

Corrin profile picture because i’m having a love-hate situation for this banner.

Edit: Corrin looks lonely, so guess what, i made another one.  Say hello to your lovely brother Corrin  Edit 2: Oh hey another Corrin

[vehk]

damn, what a bitch gotta do to not feel shitty

[xxthis-is-greatxx]

The scar you’ve left on me is nothing compared to the pit in my stomach from you, I want to rip your guts out so you can feel the same from what you’ve done to me. The memories flash back and I can’t do anything but suck my teeth and pray I find you alone again. I’ll make sure your sorry. I promise that. The feeling of dread and pain and frustration of being trapped is how ill make you feel now. I won’t be the bigger person this time, I want to watch the blood gush from anywhere I can get it to. Pray god protects you from me because when I get my hands on you’ll wish you did pray. I hope something kills you before I do because seeing your face again makes me sick. Where ever you are, with whoever. I’ll fucking get you.

(Hi, uh it’s been a sec, been going through a lot, this is a vent of me about my abuser since they have crept back into my head, the emotions it’s brought have been unbearable, but. I feel like seeing them dead will fix everything. I wish anyways, lel I’ve lost a lot of friends too so, ya)

[pkmntrainergreyze]

The Emo School (Chapter 3)

Previous

Chapter 3: Modern Day Pain...

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. -Benjamin Franklin

09/14/01 FRIDAY

D A L L O N   W E E K E S

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money, now that's just bull-f*ckin-sh*t Robin Williams, debunked"

I don't know how I got my hands on a 1000 funny quotes book, I don't know why I'm even reading it. Life sucks, that's how it works.

I'm contradicting myself am I? No? Okay, let's keep it that way-

"Dallon have you seen my cra-" he stopped my destructive train of thoughts that will have me go psycho again.

"No Brendon, ask Pete" I replied with a blank stare

"Uhh... no thanks"

Sycophant

Now, I guess that's my hypocrite self spitting venom. To think that I actually managed to slack off this shift made me wanna throw up. Just anxious stuff, sounds like a blog name, if I had access to blogs and not MySpace would have done things like that a long time ago.

(we have Tumblr Dal— oh wait, this is the early two thousands lel)

I'm think I'll the pink slip anytime soon, I can't help it, those lingering devils are going to be the death of me. I mean, once I enter the class I feel like choking myself for a trip to the clinic.

I sound like a really problematic guy, but then again, almost everyone has bigger problems than me. I just need to thank God I'm not in Pete's shoes.

I promise I'll do much better next Monday.

Seriously.

But then again, the students here are already talented and intelligent, sure with some exceptions nevertheless I'm still frightened by them.

"Are you just going to sit around inside the faculty Dallon? I think your students are worried. You don't have to worry about Miss Flack you know she regretted being the rebellious stage"

Snapping my head to the direction of the voice with a bit of distraught, I sighted Tyler with a box of cereal.

"Hello Tyler"

"Hello to you too Dall-"

"Salutations!"

There popped Josh with his trendy hat on, newly dyed hair, no care, like he didn't interrupted a conversation earlier, but I didn't mind and Tyler didn't seem to be upset either, they're friends after all.

"Have you seen Brendon?" "Yeah, asking for the same question here as well"

After Josh spoke, Tyler indeed raised his hand like an average student. I remained in my position before answering their very opposite toned questions "Yeah, he was just here a while ago before you entered, he probably went back to find his wee- lunchbox"

Josh smiled while Tyler's eyes furrowed a bit, questioning me with a hint of concern. "Thanks Dal, see ya later!"

With that, I was left in the room with an awkward situation with Tyler.

"U-Uh, see you later as well"

Thus, they both left the scene.

Tyler seems a little less confident today, a little more perplexed. Oh well, it is Tyler Joseph.

Sighing a bit, waiting for Brendon to get in trouble later on; I opened the book once more, licking my fingers, before entering page three hundred and ninety-four.

●-----------------------●

"Guys can someone name all the borders Egypt has-"

Riiiiiiiiing

"A-alright I'll see you all next Tuesday"

I didn't even notice the clock, oh well. Maybe I'm not fit for a History Teacher. I'd sometimes wish they could just find a replacement so I could retire and not feel bad about it.

I could hear the continous rumbling noises from the students' side of the room once they dragged the chairs out to stand up and leave. It did took me a while to understand the salty aftertaste it left on my mouth. Instead of complaining I just readied myself for the next class to enter and... Probably chew gum and place another batch underneath the tables... Our poor janitor's been through a lot today.

Chewing gum isn't cool or the janitor won't have fun in school.

That... It reminds me of Dad...

●-----------------------●

"How can you say sorry to a man who's probably high on drugs?" Ryan pondered as he took a sip of milk through a white and red stripped bendy straw.

I stared at his looking-through-space form.

"You're the philosopher and a very known substitute science teacher here, I'm pretty sure both things go well if you're a pro, you tell us"

Silence.

Then it hit me

"Wait— is that why Brendon's not here?"

That childish man-child wouldn't stop doing weird things huh? Yesterday he texted me saying stranger things with the lines of "quitting pipes", making me look like a very guileless teenager who just learned what methamphetamine means.

What—of course I knew what drugs are!

What do you mean Brendon sprinkled 'magical coke' on me, coca cola isn't a very solid material—

"Yeah, I told him to fuck off yesterday, I was really pissed off when he told me to put back the white cheese in the grocery shelves"

Of course that would happen.

"I don't know Ryan, treat him like a human being-" he gave me a mini glare, oh shit I didn't mean for it to sound... Nevermind.

"s-since some people think stoners don't have a life" I added to make it sound more... decent.

How do you control men at their age of 27? Exactly, I don't get the appeal on doing it as well, let them run around, do weird crap that'll get them fired.

Actually, don't do that.

I wonder if Brendon's interested in things like the 27 club-

No Dallon, bad thoughts Dallon. Bad thoughts.

"Just say sorry or something, give him space when he avoids you a bit too much... "

That advice sucks so bad, just like the way Ryan eats his cheese whiz.

I hope Ryan doesn't blame me if everything went downhill

"I'm blaming you if everything went downhill" He laughed after saying such playful words that make me shiver "You're too easy to read Man-Tree, and yeah, I know, it's okay if you didn't have any idea what to give for an advice"

At least he took a hint on not doing what I said.

Wait did he just compare me to a tree, I feel sorta honored—

From the corner of my left eye; I saw Patrick sprinting away confused and scared of Ryan's words.

"Eh, now I understand why Patrick would start to avoid me" "You can say that again"

●-----------------------●

I'm still unsure how to feel about Miss Williams' presence in the cafeteria. I mean, sure, she's known for being a great librarian and she also teaches in the senior building but still...

I'm still not used to seeing her here rather that seeing her inside the library, reading somethings I don't understand.

"Geez Dal, is it really weird for me to buy food here?"

"Yes Hayley, it just is"

She laughs and put down the tray on top of the cliche tables. The clock strucking on twelve would make sure that break's over.

"Well, get used to it. I'm tired of waking up early to make lunch, and besides food here is amazing" Her laugh has always been familiar for everyone. The Juniors considers her a cool and casual teacher that they'll love to learn from... Wish I could be like that, not complaining though, I love Dadlon.

"Hey, I'm not saying you shouldn't eat here and all"

"I know Dal"

●-----------------------●

"I feel like the electrolyte in a battery terminal"

"Why so Frankie?"

"Please don't call me that Dallon" Frank cringed before rubbing his shoulders while it shook. Seems like only Gerard can get to call him that, what a shame.

"I just got here, what happened?" I threw the plastic from the burgers straight down the trashcan, he just watched and waited until I come back.

"Welp, two of my rad students just roasted one another and now teachers are pretty much asking me things I don't even know" He sighed, stressed.

"I mean, how am I supposed to know what's the cause of the problem?" He flipped his hands and shrugged, as of to look clueless and annoyed.

"Don't you roast people?"

Okay, why did I say that.

"..."

"...Oh yeah I get it, whatever. I'm proud of my students, if I we're the principal I'll let them graduate" His comment of self awareness isn't making things better.

●-----------------------●

"Hey Brendon you alright?"

Brendon's been pulling his hair for a straight minute, he's bent over while sitting on his chair like he's going to break any minute, of course he's not alright.

"I-I can't take it"

His eyes looked puffy from both crying and a side effect of something I wouldn't wanna know.

"Shh, it's going to be okay" I tried removing the hands he used to cup his face but he appears to be much stronger than me.

He curls up, knees now covering his eyes and his arms strengthening the force that defends his pride.

"What happened?"

"Re-relapse? I don't f*cking know. I've been trying to make myself think that I won't be smoking but it always ends up like this Dal"

"Shh, shh, I'll tell Pete you're sick, I'll substitute"

Okay, wrong move, I don't know how to deal with students. But for Brendon... I wouldn't mind helping... He's a great friend after all, even though he's kind of a dick.

"T-thanks..."

"Anytime"

●-----------------------●

"It gets tiring honestly" I sipped on a new batch of coffee I prepared just two minutes ago while Ryan speaks gibberish, well, genius gibberish... That's not a thing I know.

"Sometimes people just forget that they should know who's worth their time and happiness or not, and they'll often use destructive emotions to get into the way of their relationship until two sides wouldn't dare speak with each other while one is hurting" He continued as he licked on the spoon of Cheese Whiz, gliding the cheese up to the tip of the spoon.

"Tell me Dal, have you given up a friendship?"

"Well, I don't think I have the guts to" I spoke with honesty "—but I should do that"

"Wow, that's kind of not conforting my situation right now"

"Oh sorry"

"But in all seriousness, I just hope he makes up his damn mind and if he ever says it's over then he should just keep it like we're strangers."

"Geez, you sure are quite frank with this. Have you lived through a rough path or something?" I successfully lightened up the mood, I can see Ryan smiling fron the corner of my eye.

"Well, you can't trust people easily who knows, they might steal your cheese" I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

"Ryan, no one says that"

"I did so deal with it Dallon"

●-----------------------●

"Hey there Mister Way" Micheal looked from his behind to see me greeting him "I've heard you've been visiting the music room with Mister Toro, what instrument are you interested in again?"

"More like forced by my brother and Ray, they want me to play the bass" Sounds about right.

"I could help you, you know?"

He shrugs "Thanks"

That blank stare would be the death of me, he looks like that one hero in an action movie that does Karate and that has bad temper.

Why is the Way brother's so complicated?

●-----------------------●

"Joshuuuuaa"

"Tyleeeeeer"

I witnessed one of those amazing scenes a human eye could record.

It was the miraculous handshake that the bestest friends does whenever they had the chance. Yeah, it may not be that rare of an action but it something that keeps me going.

"Woah, that's so cool guys!"

That was a big mistake.

Tyler hissed and threw his arms around Josh's neck while he tried hard to carry his odd friend. "Woah Tyler!"

"He. Just. Witnessed. Our. Secret. Handshake!" He hissed once more, emphasizing on each word. He added more stress on it than any normal person would.

"It's not that big of a deal—" "Of course it's a big deal Josh! That was something special to me! To us!"

Can I compare Tyler to a cat by now?

Seriously, he sounds like a cat thats been impaled with a knife to the gutter.

... Don't ask me why I know this.

●-----------------------●

"Okay Brendon, truth or dare?"

"Uhh... I'd say truth"

"If Ryan, Dallon or Spencer were to be hanging at the edge of a cliff, who would you pick?"

Brendon smirked as he continued to share a gaze with Spencer, who's shaking his head with the similar curved line plastered in his face.

"We all know the answer would lead to some four-thousand long *ss fanfiction"

What does he even mean by that? What's a fan fiction? Whatever it's probably Ryan. Although he wouldn't talk about him since...

wait

"What happened with you and Ryan?"

There was this prolonged silence that shouldn't have been that long if Brendon decided to speak early but he decided to go against the idea. He just stared, a little empty, like the time he was pranked

"He's having emotional mood swings inappropriate for his age, is all"

Well, I wouldn't call it a mood swing.

I mean, Ryan just love cheese, it's not like he's actually addicted to it like people joked around, right?

"Not true babe, I remember him using Cheese instead of cucumbers for therapeutic purposes" He emphasized on Babe and Therapeutic Purposes just to lace a sarcastic vibe on the topic about Ryan...

....

Nah, not true.

"Well, suit yourself"

I don't know why I'm easy to read.

"Because you're saying things out loud Mister Weekes!" The british transferee answered in such amusement. Spencer choked on his drink as he attempts to stiffle a laugh while the others, such as Josh and Frank (Iero, getting tired of correcting what Frank am I talking about with how many Franks are there) did not show any shame.

"Am I really saying it out loud?" Murmurous was the way my voice behaved. Patrick frantically nodded "Hells yeah"

"Hells yeah? Mister Stump says Hells Yeah?" Pete chimed in, slipping a seat next to Patrick and Tyler. "For the record Patrick, I am not letting you forget that, it's just historic- oh Mister Sheeran can you please hand the books you used to Miss Williams? It's been a week. Thanks"

As soon as the last student left for such 'delivery', the sounds of students seems to be getting farther and farther; with the exception of those who stays to wait for their service/school bus of course.

"What's up?" Pete joined the party.

"Nothing much, just our traditional Truth or Dare Friday, Brendon's turn to ask" While Joe—who just finished his class at Grade Twelve—spoke, Pete sips into his starbucks coffee.

"Cool, continue Brendon"

"You in?"

"Nah"

"Pay for view."

Joe's small joke sent Pete a payful glare at the Trohman-Fro man. "Later", he answered.

"Well, Gerard" there was this sparking tension once Gerard's responce came knocking "Yes?"

Brendon's face turned rock solid, like some action movie interrogation is about to happen as he stared at what seems to be a "punk criminal" at the moment and he was Clint Eastwood. Gerard didn't even flinch or look fazed, but rather reserved. "Do you believe in aliens?"

The fuc-

The question made him flinch real bad, some shocking news right? Brendon smirks, but no laughter was heard from him, rather the other players—plus Pete—in the game.

"I-I-uh..." Gerard pushes the stray locks of hairs behind the back of his ear, odd enough, I could now feel his nervousness. What, is he an alien or something?

"I-I'd say I'm a little too hesitant to answer that"

"Boo" Pete's response made others laugh along, although Gerard did glare at him.

I never thought a mysterious—and almost nefarious—character like him woulf sound nervous and look sweaty at that moment, "it's like that moment came from somewhere else"

"Agreed" Spencer replied in approval.

I'm speaking out loud again am I? Is this because of my lack of sleep? Yeesus— I mean... Yeah.

"Imagine if Gerard's an alien" The thought was bothering me and I have to say it, sorry "I mean, he looks like he could be one— I mean, he loves the scent of drugstores"

The conversation carried on with Frank adding details and the others consistently listening to his talk about Gerard's secret origins fron Reprise, even made a narration out of it

"And he's the artist who would get out of a planet called Reprise since he's so f*cking lonesome— Oh let's give him a acquaintances" Frank glances at the others with cheeks puffing from the breath he's beginning to hold, Pete laughs "How 'bout an alien space companion?"

"Oh! How about a pink masked alien-"

"no" Gerard blocked but Spencer's muffled laughs is still heard.

"-named Lola!" Josh's voice has audible enough and Gerard-proof for everyone to hear

And thus, this ship about an imaginary alien and a grumpy teacher was born

●-----------------------●

"Are you sure he didn't say that in a more normal way? Are you sure this story is real? I mean, it's a bit too descriptive if you ask me that's kinda skeptical—"

"No, he said it in a Gerard Way, of course he's weird Dallon. All the teachers here are way too young and talented Dal, they say and do weird things" Pete said, pathetically laughing at his own joke. He didn't mind though, he's too happy to even care. "And incase you forgot students here are as talented as well, only this time they're quite well known, and you're special too Dallon, you're a well known bassist not only in town you know? So hearing a story about a drunk comic artist isn't that odd if you know where to go"

"I... I just don't believe he would go around and say Easy Peasy Pumpkin Peasy and stuff like that..."

"He also said Pumpkin pie motherfucker in case you forgot" He added in such delight, I swear if this is some japanese cartoon there would be flying sparkles everywhere.

I stayed behind because I have to prepare myself for upcoming Summative Assessments and since I already noted Pete that Brendon won't come he said I should do his work for tomorrow. Welp, this is what friends are for, some are worth doing examinations for.

"Well, you haven't heard of Brendon's campfire stories back then haven't you?" Pete asked with a small smile, I shook my head to say no.

"No, I haven't"

I just came to this school last year, in November so I missed the month.

"Eheh, he should be doing that soon, our camping is in October after all, shame you didn't git to attend last year too" He teased "—he loves to freak kids out. I remember that one time he told the story of... What was that? LA Devotee was it? Oh, he doesn't only do horror, he actually tells some funny ones... He'd act drunk and tell history stuff just to mock the old history teacher"

I bet you all twenty bucks he was drunk, and about the history thing....

Looks like I'm not looking forward to that.

"Aww, don't be Dal" He pouted as he placed the globe on the top shelf "He just love to tease the guy so much, gosh I couldn't remember his name"

"Looks like you're old enough to retire" Joe chimed in with a small joke that had Pete to glare at him.

"Not yet Joe"

"Heh, my bad"

"I haven't heard of the old history teacher"

"I think his name was Briar or something, we're not that close" Joe shrugged as I almost wanna place my grabby habds to his hair. "He never really came back since he had to take care of something"

"Oh, I see" I just hope Brendon doesn't make fun of me at camping

"Oh dear, you're about to see how things go down in history at October. Some retirees would visit the school at the month" Pete smiled once more before snapping his fingers "Oh yeah! Last time we had Mister Tre to roast the kids' marshmallows"

"Yeah and he almost burned his clothes"

"It was pretty dope to see him roll around" Joe added more to his statement before chuckling loudly.

Our twittering didn't last long, like it usually does. Pete heard a call from his phone in the office, wow, he sure has some very nice hearing.

"Woops, be right back!" He left the room after he pointed his index finger to us.

"Bet you ten bucks it's his father"

"No need Joe, I already know it's him"

"I really love the way Pete still loves his Dad even though he just let him control one school, unlike his siblings" I chortled this time "welp, I think his father's just testing him. I think he's still new for a Principal"

"Yeah that's true, seems like only yesterday we'd jam out into Green Day and Misfits" He reminisced over the past memories.

"Wait, are you guys almost at the same age?"

"Yeah, Pete isn't that old as he looks. He's so fuckin' immature back then you know? God, his hair sucks so bad back in his emo phase"

"I HEARD THAT!"

Joe frozed but then the ice melted away when I snickered at the newfound look

"BUT ITS TRUE!"

Haha, yep. I still wanna teach at this school.

I looked around the office once more and found something pretty odd. It was a picture frame with four veey familiar figures.

"Is that..." I pointed at the object as Joe tilted his head lightly before snapping.

"Oh, that picture? Yeah, that was when we were to take a picture for an album we never really released"

"Really?" "Yes really"

"Then why does Andy looked like he's been edited to the picture?"

Joe snorted

"Andy always poses in that semi-sideview way, he's really there when the picture was shot. I swear" He said in all seriousness to stress on his words. I rolled my eyes.

"I doubt that"

"Oh why wont you ask Andy" "Wont be be offended though?"

"How would Princess be?" Joe stared with sincere confusion "He'd probably laugh cause it's true"

"Would he? That's more like your thing Joe" I muttered lowly but hoped for him to hear the words at the same time.

"... Yeah you're right kiddo"

I picked it out, thumbs onto the front frame and the others to support it. It was filtered in a light blue shade. It was Pete, Andy, Patrick and Joe from left to right. The names were written in beautiful fonts and were printed nicely, although seeing "Peter" and "Joseph" still makes me uncomfortable.

Joe was right, Pete's hair does suck so bad.

"Ouch, you guys are teaming up on me now? Jesus" Pete soon entered without me noticing, eh, I don't care if he heard my thoughs anymore.

"Hey, don't say his name in vain Peter" Joseph scolded with a small smirk when he said his name.

"Don't be a hypocrite Joseph, remember Senior Prom?"

"Oh I remember your geeky dance very well Peter" Joe laughed as he got coffee from the machine. Pete laughed as it seemed like the plan of bringing back awkward memories backfired.

"Whatever Joseph Roughman"

"I'm pretty sure the announcer at that time was kinky as hell" Joe and Pete continued the conversation, forgetting my presence. I don't mind, it's funny to watch them being so comfortable.

"Ah, didn't Patrick had this tied hair to the back that time?" "I think so, although nothing can defeat Brendon's forehead"

"Ye-yeah, right" Pete slyly hid his with his hair with a crooked smile. "Right..." He reassured himself, Joe smirks larger than earlier.

"Welp, we sure had good times with the band huh?"

"Yeah... I miss screaming"

"Eh, I miss Patrick's soul voice more than yours"

Pete glared at Joe as Joe defensively raised his two hands high. "Just sayin'! Just sayin'!"

"So... What was the name of the band?"

"Not was Dallon, it's kind of an underground band but we're Fall Out Boy"

"So you guys still a thing?"

"If you meant in a four-some gay relationship hell no, but sure why not?" Joe winked as Pete shivered in disgust

"Joe you disgust me" "I could tell that myself Pete"

"Don't mind Joe, but yeah, we still are. It's just that we're on a break for a while now" Pete grabbed Joe's empty cup into the trashcan as he asked for. "—I mean, even Ryan and Spencer was in a band with that Brent guy"

"Brent? Like Brendon?"

"Nope, Brent is a different person from our beloved B-den"

"Oh, never really knew about him" I sighed then placed the picture back at the table to which I saw it first. Pete gasped once it processed.

"Wait, you haven't heard of it yet? They'd use to play as Slight Anxiety or something, but Brent left and all. They're pretty well known in Nevada, New Jersey and Chicago. You probably heard of them from Mister Gioia as well" After Joe stated it I just brushed it for now, I should ask him that tomorrow.

"Nah, not really"

"I should lend you my copy of the cds sometime. Although don't forget, the titles are really wordy" His offering made me smile. Joe did the same. Wow, they're acting like a very supportive family, I might get my Dad vibes on.

"Oh, thank you. I'd love to hear it— I mean it's not like I'm doing that cause you're my boss or something but—"

"It's okay Dal. No problem" He understands.

[daddariom-archived]

✩ !! the long ship meme thingy

( send ‘✩’ for the following )

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? both of them. emilia is very stubborn so she’s prone to it, too.Who threatens to leave but never actually does? emilia!Who actually keeps their word and leaves? jesper yikes :(Who trashes the house? probably jesper Do either of them get physical? nopeHow often do they argue/disagree? ohhh every time emilia tries to get jesper to change the way he lives or every time she picks him up when he’s fucked up……Who is the first to apologise? it depends on the situation and what their disagreement or fight was about. i feel like they don’t really apologise they just turn up at each other’s door and things are back to normal again lmao

Sex:

Who is on top? depends!!Who is on the bottom? also depends fdjghjWho has the strangest desires? uhhhhh neither ??? omfgAny kinks? ………….none that i know abotu yTET sfdsdhgkdajkWho’s dominant in bed? …..jesperIs head ever in the equation? you bet If so, who is better at performing it? dhfgjdhfsjk JESPEr probably because emilia’s not as experienced Ever had sex in public? nopeWho moans the most? ohhh…..both??Who leaves the most marks? em because she likes her fingernails long ;))Who screams the loudest? EMILIAWho is the more experienced of the two? jesper lelDo they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? …uhm…..it ….. depends on the situation lMAORough or soft? phew…rough AND soft!How long do they usually last? JKSHGKJDH A WHILE??? idk???? Is protection used? ……..emilia’s on birth control so uh that and most likely condoms???Does it ever get boring? uhm helloooooooo of course notWhere is the strangest place they’d have sex? in emilia’s car LMAO

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? they don’t really think about it because having children is such a huge task they both probably don’t see themselves capable of handling just yetIf so, how many children do your muses want/have? -Who is the favorite parent? honestly i feel like jesper would be because he’d probably be a looooot more chill and allow more things lmaoWho is the authoritative parent? emilia for sureWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? jesperrrrrWho lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? also jesper fdjgjskdWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? BOTh!!!!Who goes to parent teacher interviews? both because emilia would want jesper to come along.Who changes the diapers? emiliaWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? they’d take turns!Who spends the most time with the children? both of them duhWho packs their lunch boxes? emilia!!Who gives their children ‘the talk’? JKHFSJKDKJ JESPER and emilia is sitting next to him trying not to dieWho cleans up after the kids? emmmmmmmmiiiiillllliiiiaaaaaaaaaWho worries the most? UHHHH DEFINITELY EM LMAOWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? JESPER

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? emilia!!Who is the little spoon? also emilia lmaoWho gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? …jesper but i think once time goes on emilia could be That Girl as wellWho struggles to keep their hands to themself? boootttthhhhhHow long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? all niiiiiiightWho gives the most kisses? both omg they luv kissing each otherWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity? watching movies together but getting caught up in each other LELWhere is their favourite place to cuddle? either their couch oooorrrr their bedWho is more likely to playfully grope the other? jesper dgahjkfkHow often do they get time to themselves? LMAO all the time omg

Sleeping:

Who snores? neither???If both do, who snores the loudest? - Do they share a bed or sleep separately? well considering they don’t live in the same apartment (yet) they currently sleep separately UNLESS emilia spends the night If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? cozy up!Who talks in their sleep? emilia, sometimes. it depends on her dreams lmaoWhat do they wear to bed? emilia likes to sleep naked ….. or in jesper’s shirts heh n jesper ?? probs sleeps in his boxers?!??! or also naked LELAre either of your muses insomniacs? nah but mb jesper a little??Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? …noDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? emilia’s prone to wrapping her limbs around jesper djhfWho wakes up with bed hair? em wakes up looking like her hair celebrated a huge fuckin party because she moves a lot in her sleepWho wakes up first? em!Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emilia!!What is their favourite sleeping position? oh uh emilia likes sleeping on her stomach! Who hogs the sheets? em :/Do they set an alarm each night? nope!Can a television be found in their bedroom? emilia’s got one in hers lmaoWho has nightmares? jesper, probably :(Who has ridiculous dreams? emilia dhgjkdskjWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? omfg emiliaWho makes the bed? neither they’re both too lazy lmaoWhat time is bed time? it depends!! emilia tends to go to sleep very early because she knows there’s a chance jesper will call her up in the middle of the night but if she’s already out taking care of him it can definitely be pretty darn lateAny routines/rituals before bed? emilia tidies up before she goes to bed.Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? ohhh probably jesper because he’s hungover and all

Work:

Who is the busiest? emilia, once she finds a job lmaoWho rakes in the highest income? ?????????????????Are any of your muses unemployed? both of them currently LMAOWho takes the most sick days? emilia to take care of jesperWho is more likely to turn up late to work? emiliaWho sucks up to their boss? emilia because she has to make up for being late and missing a lot of days dghfjkkjdWhat are their jobs? -Who stresses the most? eMIIIIIILLLLLIIIAAAAAADo your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? em will despise everything until she finds something she enjoys doing Are your muses financially stable? lel emilia gets financial help from her parents but that’s about it

Home:

Who does the washing? emilia. she’ll wash jesper’s too to make sure it’s taken care of lmaoWho takes out the trash? emWho does the ironing? also emWho does the cooking? neither, they have a lot of takeout or order food lmaoWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emilia dfhsaghkjdaWho is messier? jesperWho leaves the toilet roll empty? neither goDWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? both until emilia tidies up KJDJKKJWho forgets to flush the toilet? GROSS neither Who is the prankster around the house? jespeeeerrrrrrrWho loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? ….emiliaWho mows the lawn? they don’t have a lawn wtfWho answers the telephone? emiliaWho does the vacuuming? emiliaWho does the groceries? emilia Who takes the longest to shower? they shower together ;))))Who spends the most time in the bathroom? ok emilia because she likes taking her time

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yah until emilia gets some from her parents lmaoHow many cars do they own? emilia owns oneDo they own their home or do they rent? rent.Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? uh…i’m inclined to say near the coast bc i luv the coast but we haven’t talked about this so idk!Do they live in the city or in the country? city….Do they enjoy their surroundings? emilia sure does, jesper probably does because emilia’s there :)What’s their song? ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk!! that’s a tough one lmaoWhat do they do when they’re away from each other? they sext text :)Where did they first meet? at a party!!How did they first meet? me: asks faaya about this before she answers this. jESPer offered em some pills at said party and emilia was instantly like oH i gotta take care of him, he’s a wreck, i like him!Who spends the most money when out shopping? emilia :(Who’s more likely to flash their assets? which assets klASHKJHKJWho finds it amusing when the other trips over? wow neither omgAny mental issues? WEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL noWho’s terrified of bugs? emilia hdkskjWho kills the spiders around the house? jespeeerrrrrrTheir favourite place? their apartments omg Who pays the bills? emilia’s parents LMAODo they have any fears for their future? oh god yES so manyWho’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? jesper!Who uses up all of the hot water? emilia omfgWho’s the tallest? jesper!Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? both of theeemmmmmWho wanders around in their underwear? both HAWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? emiliaWhat do they tease each other about? nsfwWho is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? WOW NEITHERDo they have mutual friends? no :/Who crushed first? oh uh wow maybe jesper because emilia was really oblivious to it allAny alcohol or substance related problems? yeah jesper :((Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? jesper :(((((((((Who swears the most? JESPER

[crush--advice]

I aM sO sIcK oF sTuDy. ExAmS sUcK Dm me if you want my snap lel - guys ask me questions so I have a reason to procrastinate!

[jimmynames]

four

https://soundcloud.com/cosmicosmo/one-more-time

Okay, it’s 4am and I should totally put on that song, brb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t195yz9xCc

Okay so I was an hour earlier but I’m okay with that. I’m a bit late on my annual post however in the pursuit of a healthier mind again and again I loosened myself a bit and here I am writing the post at the right time I guess.. I’ve been reflective and had a wholesome sesh with some of the boys tonight and I’m quickly approaching my time in London coming to an end. SE01, episode 666: it’s been a blast. I sometimes can’t believe how in the nature of cyclical living you in turn present yourself with a consistent start and end point which provide like this article - moments in life in which you wholeheartedly check yourself. 

I’ve grown a lot. Even Fara said since being together this summer I’m different. It means a lot. I’ve been trying. I found myself and still to this day, ironically I write this post under some after-glow:tm: of narcotics, moving away from dRuGs and even shifting my personal brand to health-core more than partyboi. Which has helped. Turns out if you don’t smoke a lot of weed - food becomes really exciting.. amongst other stuff, but yeah I guess in the last year I continued down my path of pursuing my self within my body and eventually my mind and heart. Day by day imma keep on going I guess. 

It was nice to say to people near the end of this summer, “I’ve been consistently happy for three weeks!” and for it to continue, I mean life has it’s ups and downs but I really let go of some baggage this year amongst working on myself and achieving some dreams once again. It’s hard but we have to remember to reward ourselves, we spend our whole lifetimes with ourselves (instagram motival post lel) but yfm and I had to really check my self with how I was speaking internally and it’s a battle and delusions still remain but w.e ye no.. 

In regards to code I’ve really enjoyed the last year of Development both personally and professionally - I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a job with LuckyMe omfg !! like legit Dad I built the scrolling managa website v2 for them and I did it.. was mad as well.. forever greatful for jeffrey and dan moth’s involvement in that.. formulative experiences.. me and the boys built whoisourkid.com and managed the streaming platform, and yeah I guess music and tech have been amalgamating and it’s been synchronic..super harmonious coming together of all our talents.. I’m fearful that leaving london I’ll lose a part of this energy but I’m truly pursuing some self journey.. since losing my dad I’ve felt lost.. If im honest.. I’m so lost and whilst I’m happy and climbing my own mountains again and walking my path I find in the greater scope of it all myself a chess piece and I’m trying to think ahead.. it sucks.. ngl.. but yeah 2019 was the year of chess for me.. I started playing it with Fara and it changed my life.. she changed my life.. I fell in love again and I’m not sure where it’s going again but here we are my friends.. 

I had a couple of eureka moments with redux recently and it’s been so refreshing.. I’m so stoked to move home and get on my Narsicuss and Goldmund shit you know.. a long time ago only 5 years ago but none-the-less a literal *sad emojis* life-time *loads of hearts pouring* ago I dreamt of being a web developer, living in london and yeah my times up. I gotta go do something now in the pursuit of something greater.. another tale or another set of tales i guess.. idk.. I think and hope I’ll find meaning.. I’m transitioning a lot recently.. freeing myself of previous chains whilst more eyes remain it’s an interesting time to be alive.. I made some ripples with code and music and I intend to keep on swimming in this ocean of instagram induced depression.. 

Working at Ruin for the past year has been super weird and grand.. we went remote! legit life changing.. suddenly my code is trusted and/or I’m left to my own devices as long as I deliver.. so far so good.. it’s hard to express the complpexities of my state some times in instant messneger and i do miss the irl but all in all with relation to code - it makes sense - remote is bae.. im stoked to be home and spending some time with sean tbf.. altho he might not want to spend it with me lmao..shoutout tim and tom and sim and laz and bdan and beans aka seen lel and of course rik as well actually.. and brian.. i really pulled my socks up and keep on trying Dad to get back to who i was b4 the grief fucked me up.. i feel my professional self returning tbf.. and also i just miss you mate.. still chasing death but with all the saftey gear on.. can’t stop living.. i learnt this year actually that you gave your life for your family and for me to throw mine awya would be the ultimate disprect and for that i can no longer do it.. the ideas and thoughts and self-deprecitation still haunt me but like that pelican and frog imma keep on going.. 

FREE BOB COLE

WE ONLY EAT GOOD

RIP PJR

SHOUTOUT every1 tbf, if you’re reading this and you know - then you know

Shoutout the re-45 actually - this year man went in on apex legends and it was sick to play games again.. 

i guess goals for the next year:

- build personal site v4

- study js and ableton

- start learning piano

- record more mixes

- graphic design is my passion lol

- spend more time with my mum, sister and brothers

- run with maya

- bouldering

- just less drugs m8 pls

- get visas

- clean macbook and sort out digital self x irl self (ongoing4ever)

- download all tunes 

shoutout no guidance but fuck chris brown