#sigana

[voids-colourful-creations]

Into a Lighter Dream - A Diana [Zero Escape] Fic

[Read on Ao3!]

Rated: M (16+) Zero Escape/Zero Time Dilemma Diana/Sigma (not the focus) Content Warnings: Standard Zero Time Dilemma Content Warning, Suicide Attempt, Suicide, Death of Children. Words: 2.5k

Summary: So the twins have been teleported. And then what of the four left behind? There is no one coming to save them. There is no hope of escape. They'll come to their own end, by their own hand, then.

A look into the after math of The Hope of Two ending.

–

It’s somewhat tricky, balancing a baby in one arm and holding a pencil in the other, but somehow Diana manages. Somehow Diana manages, she thinks, sums up most of her life pretty well. Somehow she manages her way through a marriage and a divorce, somehow she manages her way through a death game, and barely she manages the aftermath thereof. It’s strange though, because somehow it’s the waiting that’s the hardest. Those long 10 months, where the inky threads of death just streamed into the corners of her vision ever slightly more with each passing day. And yet, in some way, it was the most blissful she’d ever been. The first indulgence she’d truly had in an age, a love that felt sturdy when everything was rocking.

Musing on this, idly, Diana leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Phi’s forehead. She spares a moment of thought for her other daughter, the Phi sent back in time. And then again, to her son.

“Let them be safe. Let them find their happiness.” Diana whispers in her own head. It’s the same words she’s repeated to herself ever since she sent her children back, whisked away into a corner of space and time she’d never see.

But the Phi in her arms is the one who remained, still left behind. The only Phi left in this world, with her namesake having vanished. Again, Diana takes a moment to wish for that Phi’s happiness and safety, though the ache in her chest reminds her it’s fruitless.

Somewhere though, there must be a Phi living something different. Somewhere, Diana believes, she is living happily. Diana, Sigma, Phi and Delta, all peacefully in one place. No turmoil, no games, just the picture of a normal family.

This world is far far from that ideal. Diana feels a bit like an animal, laying down wounded. There’s a sense of peace washing over she recognizes as acceptance.

In a few hours, she will sleep. Following which, she does not expect to wake up.

Diana frowns down at the paper doily. It’s not exactly the best suicide note, but it’s not exactly a suicide note either. Everything’s half done here, half a life lived, half a romance she shares. What’s the point in worrying about it any more?

With the end so close, Diana finds her fears washed away. After living so much of her life in a constant drone of worry, it’s almost startling how still she can find herself.

Acceptance, even of her inevitable demise, can be a beautiful thing. The fading of her colours becomes a soft pastel, so it’s still beautiful, isn’t it?

Her pains have become nothing but a dull ache in the back of her mind. Yes, her stomach gnaws away at herself even as she tries to satiate it with water. She hasn’t eaten in a week, it’s unsurprising. But what had felt like her organs being pulled into a black hole at first has faded now. Not because she isn’t hungry, but because there’s nothing left she can do about it.

It’s just acceptance now. It’s all washing away.

The pencil slips out of Diana’s grasp as she finishes the note, rolling right off the table and onto the floor. There’s no reason to pick it up, so she leaves it. Let the lounge feel a bit lived in. Let there be prove she had lived for once in her life, even if only for a short time.

Diana slumps back against the couch, tucking Phi in closer to her chest. The baby stares back at her, bright wide eyes, taking in everything about her mother’s face. Diana smiles, giving her daughter another kiss on the head. She deserves so many more than Diana can give her. She deserves so much more than this.

They all do.

She’s too tired to mourn anymore. After the mania and madness of the past 10 months, it’s just… going to end. And it’s a strange feeling, because in some ways this had been the primary thought in her mind ever since Sigma had told her about the food supplies. Even with everything, the fights, the sex, her own children- every thought she had was accompanied by a shadow, a reminder that soon, it would all go away.

If there’s one comfort Diana can take, beyond knowing that Sigma will be there with her, is that they’re taking it into their own hands. Agency is a comfort, particularly in a place like this.

(In the back of her mind, she knows she never had any true agency. She knows everything, each step she takes, the precise positioning of each molecule of her body holds the exact space in time someone had calculated for. It makes her feel like each of those atoms are scratching up against each other, buzzing with an urge to lurch, to send reality spinning out of place, if only to be free for a fraction of a second.)

Phi fusses in Diana’s arms, somewhat restless. She’s not fussy, not usually, though Diana supposes she doesn’t have much ground to stand on with that claim. Phi is merely days old. Still, Diana just knows. She’s her baby, of course she knows. For everything she’d studied, for all the scientific data she’d memorized in college, for every dissertation she’d read, nothing compared to really holding her own daughter in her arms and knowing the power of a mother’s love was both real and magic.

She’s being far too idealistic than she has any right to be, but she’s earned the right to have a little misguided optimism by now.

A mother’s love is real. A mother’s love is magic. And with her magic, Diana rocks side to side, rocking Phi with her, and whispers her spell.

“Let them be safe. Let them find their happiness.”

Maybe she spends a few minutes in that daze, a murmured half lullaby, maybe longer.

It’s only when Sigma sits down next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her in a touch closer, that she’s pulled out of reverie.

Once it would’ve startled her, but there’s something about Sigma’s embrace that she finds herself relaxing into without even thinking about it. If Diana ever mentioned it to Sigma, she’s sure he’d explain it as the morphogenetic field, her body remembering the other lives they’d had together, or such and so. And perhaps that is the case. Diana won’t rule it out. Personally, however, she’d pinpoint the cause as something simpler.

Sigma makes her feel safe. That’s all.

“Everything’s set up,” Sigma murmurs, pressing his words to the crown of Diana’s head. “If you’re ready.”

How do you ready yourself for something like this? No matter how much she’d been preparing for this, mentally or physically, she’d never be ready.

But the note she’d been writing was finished, and that was all that was left to complete, so in that sense…

“Mmhm.”

She can’t get the words out, but she nods anyway, humming in affirmative.

Sigma squeezes her a little tighter.

“We’re going together. Don’t worry.”

The worry has long since bled out of Diana, pooled at her feet and spilled across the floor. So she won’t worry. She won’t.

She stands, slowly so as not to disturb Phi too much. Sigma follows, bringing his arm down to help support Delta, carried on his right shoulder. It’s probably not the safest way to hold him, but it won’t matter soon.

They walk out slowly, Diana casting glances around each part of the room as she bids it farewell. It’s not exactly like she’ll miss this place, after everything she’s been through here, but in someways, she supposes she will. Contradictions like that only make sense in a place like this.

“It was a good letter.” Sigma whispers, in lieu of a farewell to the space. “You did good.”

Diana nods. She’s appreciative, and flattered, but it’s getting difficult to express it.

And slowly, step by step, they make their way through the halls until finally. The last room. The relaxation room.

Diana steps in carefully, minding the large box-shaped contraption set up on the floor. It resembles a fog machine, in fact most of it was a fog machine, but with the modifications Sigma has made… it couldn’t be called that anymore. It’s function had changed, the weight of it’s worth was altered. No going back from that.

A long black cord runs out from it, up towards one of the beds in the corner. A chunky “on/off” switch breaks off the clean line of the cable, sitting right at the foot of the bed.

Diana tries not to think about it yet. Not quite yet. She turns her attention to the dial on the wall.

“What environment would you like?” She asks, though they have already had this conversation several times, and settled on an answer long ago.

“The sky pattern.” Sigma answers, though Diana’s fingers have already begun to twist the knob. It clicks, clicks, and the walls, floor, and ceiling all distort around them until finally coming to the sky pattern. Diana’s favourite, even now.

The clouds soar past them, off into a non-existent distance. Freedom that has never been, and never will be.

“Perfect.” Diana murmurs.  “Shall we go, then?”

Sigma nods.

Carefully across the room now, Diana keeps away from the walls though she knows the sky is only fake, the drop off into the sky unreal.

(She’d tried it once, less than a month into confinement and in a drunken haze. Turned the pattern to clouds and stood near the edges. Closed her eyes and let herself tilt, teeter forward. Willed herself, begged for something to just slip. Slammed her head against the wall and sunk to the ground, sobbing. Hits her head against it again. Again. Maybe this time something will change. But it doesn’t, it never does. Until Sigma had found her, and simply carried her back to the lounge, lying her to rest on the couch. He’d been so gentle. So warm. She’d almost considered doing it again just to feel that kind of embrace.)

Sigma passes Delta over to Diana, and she settles into the hold. She clutches both her children to her chest, feeling the miniscule sound; their hearts beating in sync.

“Let them be safe. Let them find their happiness.” She thinks without even trying, even when she knows it’s got to be too late.

Sigma settles down onto the relaxation room bed, taking a moment to position himself comfortably. Carefully, he keeps the “on/off” switch tucked into his right hand, but doesn’t hit the switch just yet.

“Join me,” He says once he’s settled, “Love.” He finishes, and Diana’s heart could just break in two when he talks like that. It’s enough to make her want to slap him, try and claw her way out just a little more.

But… Diana is so tired. And so hungry.

Gently, Diana positions herself tucked into Sigma’s body, pressed so close they might as well have been one person. Her head rests on his shoulder, positioned so that she could look into his eyes. Phi lies against her chest, and Delta is shuffled over so most of his body lies on Sigma’s.

Sigma’s embrace is warm and tight, as he reaches his left arm around his family. Diana feels, if just for a moment, that everything was worth it if she got to hold this second within herself.

“Ready?”

“One second…”

Diana tucks her hand into her shirt, pulling out the necklace she’d kept tucked away. Her fingers are shaking a bit, so it takes a bit of effort, but she manages. Slowly, clumsily, Diana turns the key for the bluebird music box. And turns. And turns. She turns until the box cannot possibly take anymore, and the springs inside the device whine in protest. Then, she releases it, and tinny music notes begin to fill the room.

Sigma smiles quietly.

“Needed a bit of mood music?”

“Ha ha.” Diana deadpans, but she’s smiling at him, “I just… wanted to listen to it one more time.”

“I know.”

There’s a moment of silence, or rather, the quiet melody of a music box filling such. Phi’s eyes widen a bit as the tune goes through, seemingly enamoured by the sound.

“I’m ready.” Diana whispers, before she can change her mind. So before anyone can say anything else, Sigma flicks the switch from “off” to “on”, and the room begins to fill with Soporil B.

“This’ll keep us out for… how long?” Diana whispers, voice nestling in between the melody and the quiet fssshh of the Soporil smoke machine.

“The canister I found in the transporter room had approximately… 25 litres in it, give or take, and the machine is set to run at steady intervals to prevent it from burning out the supply.” Sigma replied, whispering the explanation in Diana’s ear, “As we are already exhausted mentally and physically, and none of us have eaten or drank in the past few days, it should knock us out pretty hard.”

It’s not the Soporil that does the killing, Diana knows. It’s the starvation, and primarily, dehydration they’re banking on. Collapse the internal organs, let heart failure kick in. Sleep through all of it. That had been the plan ever since Sigma had managed to find the canister of Soporil in the transporter room, tucked in a lower cabinet. It was strange how they hadn’t noticed it before. Almost as if it had been placed there deliberately after it had been clear there was no chance of complete survival. Even when the plan had been to transport themselves, not their children, they’d worked to set this up for those left behind.

If it was deliberate, just Zero cleaning up close ends, then Diana supposes she’s grateful it’s something cleaner like this. Slow, maybe, and even in a haze of drugged-up dreams, she’s sure the pain won’t completely vanish… but it’s better this way. Better to go together, to dream anything, and simply slip further into that dream until nothing remains.

Diana blinks.

It’s a slower thing than she’s used to, the weight of her eyelids grows stronger with each moment.

“Ss-Sigma.” Diana says, words starting to slur slightly, “I love you.”

Sigma just hums quietly, for a moment. Then,

“I love you too, Diana.”

“I love you.” Diana repeats. “I love you. I love you. I wantta be the last- last thing… I say. You… and Delta and Phi, I- I love you. I love you.”

It’s such a messy love. She’d call it broken, but that would imply there was ever a time that what they held wasn’t tattered. It’s always been like this. A bit charred and melting. Like a moment frozen in time, like a snow globe, like a bird in a cage, the sort of love captured in this bubble. But it’s really love. The details are blurring away in the Soporil fog.

The music box notes distort and shift, they twirl into birds songs on the breeze. Diana doesn’t feel the weight of Sigma’s arms, of Phi lying on her chest. Her body dissolves along with them, until they’re all nothingness together.

Maybe she’s dead now. Maybe she’s still dying. It’s all a fog. It’s all fog.

The play is over now. The story is done.

It was all for nothing, and yet it was so integral, to everything.

The actors have bowed; said their goodnights. The lights on the stage have all shut off.

One day, Diana thinks, someone might find them. Four bodies in a state of decay, find their bones all on top of each other and not be able to tell who is who.

But for now, for the rest of her life, Diana listens to that music box. To the sound of her family breathing.

Her thoughts don’t make sense anymore. Her mind is a cloud, the room is a cloud, it’s all a harmony of abstractions.

It’s a field of white.

It’s the absence of anything.

It’s over now.

…

Goodnight.

[End]

[depressioner11]

Info post on the Red lake mass shooting

The Red lake mass shooting was a killing spree/school shooting that happened in 2005,March 21st,Red lake,Minnesota. 10 were killed (including the perpetrator,Jeff Weise,who committed suicide after the shooting) During the shooting Jeff Weise asked students "do you believe in god?" (Believed to be referencing an alleged line said by Eric Harris) and killed or injured those who failed to answer or answered "yes."

Perpetrator: Jeff Weise

Background:

Jeffrey James Weise aka Jeff Weise was born on August 8th,1988,in Minneapolis Minnesota to a teenage mom and unstable family. His mother was coerced to give Jeff up to his dad who lived with his parents in Red lake. Jeff moved in with his mother again at 2 years old.

Jeff's father died by shooting himself in 1997. Two years later his mom suffered from severe brain damage in a car accident and was committed to a nursing home. Jeff then moved in with his paternal grandmother at Red lake reservation.

According to online posts made by Jeff,his mother was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abused him and so did the man she later on began to date,have two kids with then marry.

Jeff achieved badly on academics in school, had to be homeschooled from time to time and was bullied by other students. He allegedly wore dark trenchcoats,dark eyeliner and black clothing to school.

Jeff was active on online websites such as newgrounds,LiveJournal, a neo nazi website,nazi.org,rise of the dead. He posted flash animations,his yearning for change in his life, political beliefs and short stories on these accounts, featuring themes of shootings,bombings,zombies etc,going by usernames "Regret","todesengel","Blades11."

He attempted suicide by slashing his wrists in May 2004. He didn't go through with it because he realized "this was not the path." Jeff was hospitalised after this attempt.

Victims:

Daryl Lussier Sr., 58,police sergeant and Weise's paternal grandfather

Michelle Sigana, 32, Lussier's girlfriend

Derrick Brun, 28, security guard

Neva Rogers, 62, English teacher

Alicia White, 14, student

Thurlene Stillday, 15, student

Chanelle Rosebear, 15, student

Chase Lussier, 15, student

Dewayne Lewis, 15, student

Jeffrey Weise, 16, perpetrator

This is my first time making an info post and my post is quite shitty,pls go check this case out if you're interested! This case is so interesting and rarely talked about imo:)

[gadispurnama]

Ari tadina mah hoyong sagala nyamian duka sagala alim kasaingan. Sagalana ditarekahan supaya minimal sarua sigana teh.

Di dieu ngajar, ngiringan

Di dieu gaduh nu ngasuh, ngiringan

Eta sih nu paling nyirikeun mah.

Risih?

Nya pasti atuh.

Tapi langkung-langkungna mah zizi sih ngabandungnana. Asa teu kudu nepi ka samaksakeun kitu oge. Santai aja atuh hirup mah. Bade ngudag naon? Ngudag saha?

Kalah abdi nu cape ngabandungannana euceu ah!!!

[lyrics365]

시간아 (Stopwatch)

sigana nan yeogiga joa bitbaraen gieogi doego sipji ana sigana jom gidaryeojura motda han maldeuri neomu mantan mariya geunyang yeogil beoseonamyeon an doel geomman gata sigana neodo mami itdamyeon nal ihaehaesseulkka sigana nal deryeogaji ma nae cheoyeomhamkkaji gajyeogal geojana sigana neon neul geureon sigiya maebeon buranhage hae jakku jjocha oji ma gidaehaji anneun salmeun neomu…

[newtras]

Sphere Enterna Sigana Plans for spreading the sphere spectrum sphere and the new content launches 2025. Years

Sphere Enterna Sigana Plans for spreading the sphere spectrum sphere and the new content launches 2025. Years Source link

[satrthere]

Sphere Enterna Sigana Plans for spreading the sphere spectrum sphere and the new content launches 2025. Years

Sphere Enterna Sigana Plans for spreading the sphere spectrum sphere and the new content launches 2025. Years Source link

[twicehaneul]

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚page two

CHEER UP FROM 0.29s TO 0.34s

걔 말은 나 너무 예쁘대

gyae mareun na neomu yeppeudae

자랑하는건 아니고

jaranghaneun-geon anigo

FROM 1.27 s TO 1.31s

Just get it together

And then, baby, cheer up (I need you)

FROM 2.34s TO 2.38s

Just get it together

And then, baby, cheer up 

FROM 2.46s TO 2.51s

걱정되지만 여자니까 이해해주길 geokjeongdoejiman yeojanikka ihaehaejugil

FROM 3.00s TO 3.07s

Be a man (yeah), a real man (yeah)

Gotta see you love me like a real man (oh-woah)

FROM 3.32s TO 3.34s

Just get it together

And then, baby, cheer up

PRECIOUS LOVE

FROM 0.47s TO 1.02s

그대를 (그대를) 보내고 (보내고) geudaereul (geudaereul) bonaego (bonaego)

얼마나 후회했는지 몰라요 eolmana huhoehaenneunji mollayo

다시 내게 와요 날 용서해요 dasi naege wayo nal yongseohaeyo

다신 그런 일 없을 테니까요 dasin geureon il eopseul tenikkayo

FROM 3.20s TO 3.31s

그대의 (그대의) 사랑을 (사랑을) geudae-ui (geudae-ui) sarang-eul (sarang-eul)

너무 쉽게 생각 했었나 봐요 neomu swipge saenggak haesseonna bwayo

다시 내게 와요 나의 품에 dasi naege wayo naui pume

FROM 3.35s TO 3.40s

다시 내게 와요 나의 이 품으로 dasi naege wayo naui i pumeuro

TOUCHDOWN

FROM 0.19s TO 0.21s

넌 날 그냥 지나칠 수 없을 걸 neon nal geunyang jinachil su eopseul geol

FROM 0.23s TO 0.25s

내 미모에 돌아설 수 없을 걸 nae mimoe doraseol su eopseul geol

FROM 1.02s TO 1.10s [HANEUL, ALL]

10, 9, 8 다가 와 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 10, 9, 8 daga wa 10, 9, 8, 7, 6

나를 봐 5, 4, 3nareul bwa 5, 4, 3

잡아 봐 5, 4, 3, 2, 1jaba bwa 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

FROM 2.03s TO 2.12s [ALL, HANEUL]

시간아 10, 9, 8, 달려 봐 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 sigana 10, 9, 8, dallyeo bwa 10, 9, 8, 7, 6

내게로 5, 4, 3 빠져 봐 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 naegero 5, 4, 3 ppajyeo bwa 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Touchdown

FROM 2.57s TO 3.15s [ALL, HANEUL, CHAEYOUNG]

시간아 10, 9, 8 달려 봐 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 sigana 10, 9, 8 dallyeo bwa 10, 9, 8, 7, 6

내게로 5, 4, 3 빠져 봐 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 naegero 5, 4, 3 ppajyeo bwa 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Touchdown

10, 9, 8 네 맘을 10, 9, 8, 7, 610, 9, 8 ne mameul 10, 9, 8, 7, 6

말해 봐 5, 4, 3 날 가져 봐 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 malhae bwa 5, 4, 3 nal gajyeo bwa 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Touchdown

TUK TOK

FROM 0.50s TO 0.56s

Oh, 아직 move, move, move Oh, ajik move, move, move

그냥 hello, hello 좀 더 지켜봐 줘 geunyang hello, hello jom deo jikyeobwa jwo

FROM 1.52s TO 1.58s

Oh, 아직 move, move, move Oh, ajik move, move, move

그냥 hello, hello 좀 더 지켜봐 줘 geunyang hello, hello jom deo jikyeobwa jwo

FROM 2.44s TO 2.50s

Oh baby, boo boo boo

그냥 계속 계속 좀 더 지켜봐 줘 geunyang gyesok gyesok jom deo jikyeobwa jwo

FROM 2.57s TO 3.03s

Oh, feel so good, good, good

좀 더 기다려 기다려 줘 jom deo gidaryeo gidaryeo jwo

WOOHOO

FROM 0.20s TO 0.27s

여기저기 어딜 가도 빛난대 yeogijeogi eodil gado binnandae

매일 지겹도록 내게 Would you be my maeil jigyeopdorok naege Would you be my

Lady lady lady baby baby baby

FROM 3.06s TO 3.20s

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey

난 그대만의 Sweet love nan geudaemanui Sweet love

난 그대만의 Sweet dream nan geudaemanui Sweet dream

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey

MY HEADPHONES ON

FROM 2.24s TO 2.44s

Nothing gets me down

Nothing gets me down

You can’t hurt me now

넌 이제 모르는 사람이 된 거야 neon ije moreuneun sarami doen geoya

I'M GONNA BE A STAR

FROM 1.08s TO 1.15s

중독적인 비트 위 jungdokjeogin biteu wi

가뿐히 올려놔 sweet 16’s gappunhi ollyeonwa sweet 16’s

함 빠져들면 no exit ham ppajyeodeulmyeon no exit

(We go-go-goin’ up)

FROM 1.55s TO 2.09s

Watch me, do my thing

Wa-watch me, do my thing

Watch me do, my thing

Wa-watch me, do my thing

Watch me, do my thing

Wa-watch me, do my thing

Watch me, do my thing

Wa-watch me, do my thing

FROM 3.03s TO 3.10s

우린 어떤 스타보다 환히 (ok, ok) urin eotteon seutaboda hwanhi (ok, ok)

빛나는 별들이 될 거니-거-거-거니까 binnaneun byeoldeuri doel geoni-geo-geo-geonikka

[wnrs]

SADAR

sadar1/sa·dar/ 1 a insaf; merasa; tahu dan mengerti: kita harus -- bahwa hidup ini penuh perjuangan; 

Ditanggal 22 Januari 2025 hati ini semakin tersasar bukan tersadar :). Tersasar semakin dalam untuk mencintai org yg mencintai org lain maka akan penuh perjuangan tanpa jasa:). Padahal SiAku sadar, semakin SiAku tersasar maka akan semakin sakit dan kecewa dasar badag tolol. Tidak sengaja karena sudah terlalu banyak menelan rasa pengorbanan sehingga mulut siAku terucap kata "Maafin aku belum bisa berguna". Gatau jol tiba tiba pengen nangis weh gara gara ngeliat siAmisCau yg galau sama siMas. Padahal disitu ada siAku yg siap buat nemenin, mau jalan atau lari kemanapun pasti ditemenin, tapi siAku sigana tidak masuk kandidat jadi yaudah ga dipandang :). Padahal siMamah udah selalu acc buat pepet terus bahkan nyurruh buat melet hahahah tapi hati teh meni asa pengen menyerah wae :((, pengen fokus sama usaha aja atau karir atau ngurus motor :( tapi da udah mengibarkan bendera buat berjuang sampe 16 juli 2025. Di tgl 22 Januari ini SiAku Sampe ngerasa takut bertemu dengan 16 juli karena sampe saat ini jawaban yg pastinya itu bakal ngelepas dan tetep menganggap sebagai AA :), yg ditakutkannya bukan karena tidak dianggap, tapi melepasnya. Terserah BB ketang pokonya mahh yg penting Siaku udah berjuang, masalah hasilnya mah gimana Allah dan itu pasti yg terbaik. Sekali lagi mohon maaf kalau siAku belum berguna buat SiKamu, kejar lah yg Kamu mau tapi ingat siAku sudah ada tenggat waktunyaa jadi kalau masiih diduakan yaudah siAku tidak akan mengejar org yg memang gamau sama siAku. Semangaat be apapun yg kamu mau inshaAllah aku temenin sama 16 juli.

[diri-nu-sajati]

BUDI DAYA HIRUP

BUDI DAYA 1

- Naon ari hartina Budi – Daya ?

- BUDI hartina 

gerakna badan lemes (batin) anu hade,  

- DAYA nya-eta 

gerakna badan badag (lahir) anu kagerakeun ku badan lemes tea, 

sarta anu bisa kasaksi ku panca-dria

- Ari Karuhun urang aya Budi-Dayana

Puguh bae karena budi-dayana karuhun ku urang moal bisa dipungkir deui, 

saperti: ku bukti “salametna” ti mimiti urang dikandung ku indung nepi ka waktu iue pisan (maca ieu buku) teh wungkul (gegedena) jasa indung-bapa urang, karana moal aya hiji makhluk Pangeran di alam dunya ieu anu boga jasa keur kasalametan anak, nu leuwih ti indung-bapana. 

- Ku lantaran kitu sok sageuy sakur nu geus ngarasa mah, arek mungkir kana budi-dayana indung-bapa, nyaeta oge anu mikanyaah di alam donya ieu teh, tapi ari leuwih (bisa ngaleuwihan) ti indung-bapa mah, mohal aya !

- Lamun geus karasa, atuh wajib urang rumasa sarta ngaku yen “enyana” mohal urang bisa kumelendang ngumbara di alam dunya ieu lamun euweuh budi-dayana indung-bapa,

- ngan palebah dieu urang oge kudu nyaho “mohal aya indung-bapa lamun euweuh budi-daya nini-aki”

- mohal aya nini-aki lamun euweuh 

budi-dayana buyut” 

- jeung saterusna tepi ka ayana budi-daya ti karuhun urang anu oge dijadikeun ku Kersana Anu Maha Mulya !

- Ayeuna oge bisa dibuktikeun  “Budi-Daya karuhun teh, 

saperti: keur kaperluan hirup jeung hurip di urang estu euweuh kakurang na. 

- Keur tatali hurip (dahareun-inumeun) lamun kaharti mah, asa mohal kudu nguyang !

- Keur hirup? 

Kapan anggahota badag-lemes sakieu cukupna, asa mohal kudu nanya atawa nginjeum ka hirup batur!

- Lamun urang teu percaya atawa acan harti keneh, geuning aya sindir kieu :   

- Loba anu nyukcruk leuwi neangan cai, 

hartina: 

- eukeur aya dina tempatna, naha make diteangan?

- Neangan kejo, mawa sumbul dieusi sangu,

hartina: 

- kari prak – naha bet ngapraak ?

- Neangan seuneu kundang damar, 

hartina 

- terang-Na geus aya dina dirina,  tapi hayoh masih nanya.

- (butuh) ku katerangan batur (ceunah)

- Ari butuh dunya ulah nanya kanu miskin ! 

- Ari nanya lahir batin, 

ulah nanyakeun ka jelema nu teu nyahoeun kana dirina ! 

- Nu kumaha ari anu miskin teh ? 

nu miskin teh nya-eta anu salawasna ngarasa kurang jeung butuh bae (euweuh kaseubeuhannana), 

ceuk Jawana :

- “Pandita ora wareg dening ilmu”

- “Saudagar ora wareg dening dunya”

- Tah tinu kitu timbulna (ayana) 7  M teh saperti : Maen– Maling– Minum – Madat –Madon –Mangani -Mateni, 

- ana geus migawe 7 M, nyaeta hartina sarua jeung geus poho ka dirina, geus teu nyaho mana lahir jeung mana batin, alias geus mabok, 

- ari mabok hartina geus poho kana

purwa-daksina, purwa (asal), 

daksina (wekasan) 

- jauh tina kecap inna Lillahi (Kaulaning Gusti) – komo kana kecap Wa (jeung) Inna Lillahi 

(Kaula anu pasrah ka Gusti) mah,

- Teu cara Karuhun !

Geus sabaraha rebu tahun pasrahna ?

Geus ngamulyakeunnana bukti, sakabeh turunannana dijaga-dijaring beurang jeung peutingna sangkan ulah kurang dahar jeung pakena sarta sing bisa narima tamu jeung sapuratina, pantes mun kasebut ROJIUN  (tunggal pangawasana), 

- ku geus prak bisa ngamulyakeun deui ku kamulyaannana ka sakabeh makhluk Robb sarta teu mandang ka kolot ka budak, ka awewe ka lalaki 

estu teu ngabeda-beda ! 

- Tapi ari ceuk anu mabok mah 

pajar Karuhun urang teh teu beda jeung sato !

- Tapi sakituna deui keun bae ulah arek dipake hate, da nu kitu mah hampuraeun, ku teu nyahoeun tea, jeung keur resep tuturuti, resepna nurutan batur, 

- mun henteu katurutan boga rasa  henteu pinter, 

-kajeun modal hurip ti karuhun beak pisan sigana teu ngitung rugi, 

- dapon maksudna katepi, katepi ceuk angkeuhannana, 

- padahal katurutan mah batur teh mohal, paling untung ukur tepi kana JIGA, 

- ari jiga tea eta sidik “LAIN” pisan. Tuluyna: hirupna euweuh pangaji, siga jalma anu nurut, 

ngandelkeun wungkul ti batur, 

hirup siga nu numbila budi-dayana karuhun karimbunan kapoekan, 

tepi ka geus poho deui, 

mi karesep kanu anyar, 

tipu-daya dipibogoh, 

- mun bisa nipu ka batur boga rasa aing pinter, jeung teu boga rasa dosa. 

- Tah nu kitu ngarana bangsa titiron (palsu). Malsu kana kanyahona pribadi, ku hayang-hayangna jiga teu mikirkeun eukeur engke, sumawona inget kanu bakal datang, nya-eta anak incuna nu bakal gumelar pandeurieun manehna, estu jauh jeung Budi-Daya karuhun; ka anak incu teh anggur mere jalan sina NIPU-DAYA, 

- teu hayangeun anak incu sina bisa ngarasakeun buah budi-daya karuhuna.

- Lebah dieu teu beak ari pamenta mah, mugi-mugi eta anu nurut oge 

sing bisa pulih ka jati mulang ka asalna deui sangkan ulah jiga, 

- sarta ulah ngawiwirang ka Karuhun na.

- Ka-budian Ka-jalan ku Karuhun teh? , lamun ngaku, tah nu kitu hartina ngarasa Kabudayan Karuhun teh !

- Ulah waka ngagogoreng lamun acan nyaho ! ( Ulah muji lamun ngarasa rugi ! 

-Sabab euweuh deui anu wajib dipuji 

anging anu Maha Mulya 

- nu geus ngamulyakeun ka nu sok aya jeung euweuh sapan-deurieunnana !)

- Anu matak lamun arek diajar naon bae, heulakeun heula nganyahokeun naon-naon anu geus diajarkeun ku kanyaho diri (pingpinan indung-bapa 

warisan ti Karuhun urang), nya-eta: 

panjang–pondok – awewe –lalaki – 

kaler–kidul - gede-leutik jeung sajaba ti eta anu aya pasangannana, 

- sabab lamun acan nyaho  kana  Kalimah-Kalih mah, moal boga pamilih

- ana teu boga pamilih kanyahona 

sok tuturut munding, atuh acan baleg

- ana acan baleg mah atuh ka drigama moal asup, sumawonna kana agama,

- da teu beda jeung bangsa orok beureum; hirup wungkul kasamaran.

“ Sagala teu jeung dipikir ”

“ Sara teu panggih sarina “

“ Hirup siga ka sesered “

“ Diri taya pangajina “

“ Sosorod bagjana awak “

“ Beuki lila beuki surud “

“ Patina bleg nu kasarad “

2.HAL PATIKAHAN

- Karuhun baheula ari ngucapkeun Al-Fatihah teh pokna sok HAL PATIKAH

- tapi ari maksudna mah teu beda cara urang ayeuna bae, nya eta nyebut (muji) asmana Robb anu ngagaduhan sipat welas jeung asih, 

-ari pangna nyebut kitu teh Karuhun mah “enya” enggeus nyahona teh yen Robb ngagaduhan sipat welas jeung asih, 

- nya-eta bukti ku ayana dunya katut pangeusina nu salawasna dilahir mah 

di pika butuh ku sakabeh mahluk keur kaperluan dirina, 

- tah eta kamurahannana. –

- ari anu awisna, 

nya-eta nu teu beunang di jiga-jiga, - teu beunang di tunjuk ku curuk, 

- teu beunang dicaritakeun, 

- bukti ayana teh ku wujudna,  saperti: 

1. Pangawasa, 

2. Pangersa, 

3. Elmu, 

4. Hirup, 

5. Rungu, 

6. Tingali jeung 

7. Ngandika-Na 

- nu wujud di badanna (kamurahannana)

- Sanajan ieu katerangan sakieu saeutikna, meureun urang moal arek mungkir deui yen eta teh wujud: 

- sarta lamun ku urang diabsen hiji-hijina dina badan urang bakal ngajawab, yen enya wujud ayana, 

saperti :

1. NU KAWASA ? 

aya ! da lamun euweuh nu kawasa mah 

sanajan boga awak sagede munding ge, moal bisa nangtung-nangtung acan.

2. NU  KERSA ? 

aya ! da lamun euweuh nu kersa mah  urang teh moal hayang usik-usik acan                                     3. NU UNINGA ? 

aya ! da lamun euweuh nu uninga mah 

urang teh moal boga kanyaho !

4. NU HIRUP ?  

aya ! da lain golek, teu kudu dihirupkeun ku batur !

5. NU NGARUNGU ? 

aya ! teu kudu make denge batur !

6. NU NINGALI ? 

aya ! teu kudu make awas batur !

7. NU NGANDIKA ? 

aya ! teu kudu  make ucap batur ! 

- Karana lamun sagala kumaha batur, - kumaha kuring ?

Ieu kabeh 

-netepkeun sadayana puji ka Robb

dina wujud jeung ayana.  

- BISMILLAHI  nu awisna = wujud

- ROCHMAN ROCHIM kamurahannana     

= aya [ wujud aya, awis-mirah ti Anjeun-Na]

- Anu matak aya tikah, 

nya asal tina tepung wujud cinta pada cinta di dunya (dunya aya) 

-nu di tepungkeun ku nu Maha Mulya, 

contona : 

- Moal K.N. Adam tepung sareng Babu Hawa upama teu lahiran teu batinan, 

jeung dibarengan ku silih pikawelas-

silih pikaasihna (sir-pada-sir). 

- Jaman K.N. Adam sareng Babu Hawa 

geus putraan, nepangkeun putrana nu pameget ka nu istri, 

- eta kudu kasaksi heula ku ibu ramana, sarta kudu dididik kumaha jalanna cinta (lain bogoh bae!) 

- sarta sing nyaho kanu Kawasa dina dirina, nu asal ti Nu Maha Mulya.  

-Perjangjian hareupeun indung – bapa.

- Sanggeus Alam dunya loba eusina,ku ayana gunduk-gundukan (kaum-kaum) - nya kudu nikah di kaum, sangkan kasaksi ku kaumna, netepan adat kaumna/bangsana.

- Rukuna : 

Panganten lalaki-Panganten awewe, tegesna nu di anti-anti (pangantian) sangkan panganten salamet salawasna, bisa nyumponan kanu ka :

- Ijab kabul, waktu maranehna tepung mimiti; waktu hareuppeun kolotna, sarta geus jarangji arek silih pikanyaah.

- Saksi urang Kaumna.

- Wali nya kolotna pisan pikeun ngawalian carana anu Kawasa ka anak dina waktu harita.

- Alam dunya ayeuna geus diatur ku Ratu (wawakil Pangeran di dunya) 

sangkan mulus rahayu, berkat salamet nagara katut pangeusina, 

- Panganten, babaku panganten lalaki, kudu jangji ka nagara ku neken dina surat kawin, nu maksudna supaya salamet ka nu disalametkeun  katut nyalametkeunnana.

- Tah sakitu bae HAL PATIKAH mah.

- BISMILLAHI : 

sadaya puji kangge Robb, kabeh geus wujud ayana nyata ka-awisannana.

- RACHMAN-RACHIM :  ieu dunya katut paneusina, kabeh anu diayakeun, nyata Kamurahannana.

- SASTRA JENDRA AYU NINGRAT

- Tulisan Nu Maha Agung, tegesing bahan salamet di sakabeh Alam jeung Jaman katut anu ngajamananana, lamun bener migawena.

- SASTRA

Hartina tulisan, sakabeh nu dumadi, anu anu kumelip di Alam dunya, estu geus hurup teu aya cawadeun-nana, 

-sarta kabeh kersana Nu Maha Agung,  anu matak bangsa urang ti jaman Karuhun mula geus percaya sarta muji ku milampah kahadean 

- sangkan diri jeung lianna (pangeusina dunya) pinanggih jeung rahayu.

- JENDRA

Hartina wujud ayana Nu Maha Agung 

teu bisa dipapandekeun sanajan jeung naon-naon oge, 

- ari bangsa urang percaya yen ayana Wujud Nu Maha Agung 

- (Hyang Agung) 

nya eta ku ayana Para Hyangan 

anu teges asalna ti Hyang Agung tea.

- HYANG

Hartina Abdi Gusti (nu asal ti Gusti). 

-Para Hyangan 

hartina Abdi-abdi Gusti 

nu arasalna ti Gusti. 

-Gusti teh asalna Abdi Gusti sadaya.

- Nu nyaho sarta nyaksi yen Gusti teh Wujud anging Abdi anu wujud 

tur tetep Wujud di WujudNa.

- Nu nyaho sarta nyaksi yen Gustina teh : 

henteu dat, 

henteu sipat, 

henteu arah jeung 

henteu anggon, 

(laesa kamisilihi). 

- Anging Abdina anu 

teu dat, 

teu sipat, 

teu arah jeung 

teu enggon 

(billa haeffin billa makanin )

- Saha ari Abdi teh ?

Nu ngabdi ka Gustina !

- Saha ari Gusti teh ?

Nu Maha Agung !

- Saha anu nyaksi sarta nyaho yen Gusti teh Wujud ?

Abdi-Na !

- Saha anu uningaeun ka Abdina ?  

Gusti !

- Kumaha nyatana yen Wujud-Na ari Gusti ?

Ari kanyataannana mah di Abdi-Na (nu wujud di Gusti).

- Ari Wujud-Na mah kunyata Murba-Na!

- Kumaha nyatana jeung - kumaha Murbana teh ?

Gusti teh Hyang Agung, 

-nu jadi asal Para Hyangan

- Hyang Agung teh nya Hyang Widi (Anu Kuwasa)

bukti: 

- Kawasana dimana-mana !

- Hyang Widi teh nya Hyang Suksma (Anu Kersa) 

bukti : 

- Kersana di Hirup.

- Hyang Suksma teh nya Hyang Manon (Anu Uninga)

bukti: 

- Uninga sakarep-karepna!

- Nya Hyang Agung asalna Para Hyangan, 

-Hirup-Na hanteu nganggo napas, 

-Rungu-Na hanteu nganggo cepil, 

-Ningali-Na hanteu nganggo soca, 

-Ngadika-Na hanteu nganggo baham.

Anu matak Para Hyangan mah :

- tara mi-Allah ka: Pangeran anu diuk dina korsi gading

- tara mi-Rasul ka Nu sok maot

- tara mi-Kitab ka Nu sok soeh

- tara mi-Malaikat ka Nu jangjangan

- tara mi-takdir ka Nu alah-alihan

- tara mi-Milu kanu sok paeh (rusak)

- KURING DI DUNYA NGUMBARA Pangumbaraannana nyaeta ieu Dunya gede (Kabir). 

- Sanggeusna Kuring aya dipangumbara an lila-lila Kuring boga kanyaho tur nyaksi kaayaannana sabagian tina ieu dunya gede,  

- ari parabot kuring pikeun nganyahokeunnana nya make diri (badan anu kumplit sarta sehat), saperti :

-Panon keur kuring nenjo dunya

-Ceuli keur kuring ngadenge dunya

-Sungut keur kuring ngomong dunya

-Irung keur kuring ngambeu dunya

-Leungeun keur kuring barang cokot dunya

-Suku keur kuring leumpang di dunya

Jeung sajaba ti eta estu pepek kersaning Nu Maha Agung mi-asihna ka kuring, maparin bekel keur waktu kuring ngumbara di dunya gede (Kun paya kun).

- Ngan bae sanggeus kuring boga kanyaho sarta nyaksi kaayaan dunya jeung adat istiadatna, 

- kuring wajib ngaraksa diri nu jadi gids (bekel kuring = pamajikan sapanjang ngumbara di dunya)

- Nyaho kana aturan Drigama sangkan salamet diri

- Tetep dina agama kuring sangkan kangaranan Innalillahi (pasrah ka Gusti kuring) Wa (jeung) Inna iIllahi rojiun (tunggal jeung Gusti)

- Drigama mah keur umum 

- agama keur Para Hyangan (anu teu umum)

- PERINGETAN KURING KEUR KURING !

Ari harti Agama nya-eta patokan nu tetep, 

- nu teu beunang dirobah deui, mun dina basa Arabna nyaeta takdir ti nu Maha Suci 

- nu geus teu bisa diongget-ongget deui.

-Seuneu sarerea asalna ti Panon-poe.

-Cai sarerea asalna ti Laut

-Napas  sarerea asalna ti Angin -Taneuh sarerea asalna ti Bumi

 

- Acina seuneu ngajadi daging - Acina cai ngajadi balung

- Acina angin ngajadi kulit bulu

- Acina bumi ngajadi saeusina badan

Daging-balung-kulit bulu   saeusina ayeuna geus ngajadi badan. 

- Badan teh nya badan sarerea bae, 

jadi sidik yen enyana Badan urang  teh urang Dunya, sabab badan jeung sapuratina asal tina Dunya. 

- Ari kuring asal ti Gusti Nu Maha Suci. 

- Anu matak ceuk ilahar mah 

kuring teh di dunya mah disebutna 

ngan sakadar ngumbara.

- Badan teh aya badan sarerea bae, 

jadi sidik yen enyana badan urang teh urang dunya, sabab badan jeung sapuratina asal ti dunya.

- Ari kuring asal ti Gusti Nu Maha Suci. 

-Anu matak ceuk ilahar mah kuring teh di dunya mah disebutna ngan sakadar ngumbara.

- Ari Pangumbaraan 

nya ieu dunya! Dunya gede (dunya kabir).

- Ari pamajikan (pangcicingan kuring) nya dina diri nu asal ti dunya tea, 

- anu matak diri teh disebutna dunya leutik (dunya sagir).

- Ari diri teh nyaeta parabot atawa nu nganteur kuring sapanjang aya di dunya gede, 

- nepikeun ka waktu ieu kuring 

--------------> nyambung...

[best-lirik-lagu]

Lirik Lagu Reponya Ari Natal - Elisabeth & Erika

[hasnasminds]

12 oktober 2023

dung, hari ini ya kayak biasa aja aku masak buat asagohan nya deri sama aku. hari inimah masaknya pake sayur akhirnya. kemarin baru beli sayur sama bawang bombay. disinimah mahal pisan bawang bombay teh dung. terus sigana aku mau bikin list menu sehari2 kayak owa. tapi gak sampe food prep. da soalnya disinimah gamungkin belanja buat seminggueun teh. pasti beurat da pake sepeda. jadi kudu nyicil.. terus disinimah ikan nya teh expired nya cepet. jadi kudu sering2 kaimono/belanja. jadi poe ieu aku mau bikin list belanjaan sama bikin menu sehari-hari. kayaknya belanjanya mah enaknya sore sih. oh enya terus skrg lagi 12 derajat celcius didieu. tiris pisan. tapi da enak2 aja sih dung da bersih didieu mah. terus kemarin alhamdulillah dikasih 10 juta sama ibara. cenah kemarin ada yg miskom. atoh pisan. jadi sebenerna skrg beunghar tapi ah dihemat2 weh uangmah nya dung bisi aya nanaon. kamari aku ngadon aambekan ka deri da aku masih ragu punya anak. kunaon nya dung aku kieu wae asaan teh. loba pikasieuneun na boga anak teh dung. padahal deri udah rela gawe pake sepeda bolak balik kantor demi keluarga. tapi aku masih teu siap wae mun kudu boga budak. hampura nya dung aku kieu wae

[i0n4]

impermanence

[gadispurnama]

Bener...orang yang paling menyakiti itu adalah orang yang paling dekat dengan kita.

Sedih sih sakapeung mah.

Tapi ningali manehna ayeuna sigana geus bagja. Sukur we.

Ya...

Ya...

Ya....

Sudah biasa. Tidak pernah ada yang benar-benar tulus sampai hari ini. 🥲

Pada akhirnya. Urang ngan sesa carita na hungkul.

Teu nanaon. 🙃

[lyrics365]

좀 더 아플게 (I'll Stay Here)

uri dulman aldeon gieok neoneun da jiwobeoryeosseo ije namajeo ijeumyeon geugeon eopdeon iri doenikka nan oneuldo jom deo apeulge uri dulman aldeon gieok neoneun da jiwobeoryeosseo ije namajeo ijeumyeon geugeon eopdeon iri doenikka nan oneulkkajiman apeulge I don’t wanna go uri chueokdeureul maeil nan jaejohaphae geuge nal apeuge haedo molla geureol subakke nappeun gieokdeureun sigana jebal…

[emetkoto]

I didnt get all of ztds endings apparently which is wack....just watched the D2 ending and bawled my eyes out.....theyre so cute ugh

[wnrs]

MARTABAK

Bukan Martabak Pacenongan tapi martabak pegangan tangan hahahahah, terimakasih loh martabak

Jadi si badag udah punya janji buat ngebeliin martabak, alhasil kita beli setelah siAmis Cau bekerja cuman aku lupa pegang uang cash, alhasil pas nyampe di tempat martabak kita pesen dulu terus ambil uang ke superindo sekalian belanja bulanan hahahaha, setelah dari superindo terus kita nyebrang lagi disitulah aku memberanikan diri untuk menuntun nya ke masa depan anjaaayyyy, menuntun nya ke tukang martabak da bisi katabrak hahahah. Lebay ajig si badag, intinya si Aku sudah satu langkah lebih depan dari pada si Mas :( walaupun yg siAmis Cau mah tetep weh kayanya si Mas, biarin lahh da belum jadian mereun mereka nyaa yg penting usaha duluu, bukan untuk pacaran tetapi untuk meyakinkan kalau aku siap menghalalkan, mengahalalkan segala cara sigana :((

Yg lucu nya setelah kejadian ini tiba tiba muruduul org org yg pengen ketemu kata si aku teh "so ganteng pisan maneh badag :(" yg satu pengen dibantuin buat skripsi, yg satu lagi galau gara gara kangen ibunya sampe sampe 2 org ini ketemuan disaat si badag yg mau nobar persib walaupun persib seri akupun berseri seri karna sudah berpegangan tangan buat nyebrangin hahahaha, begitulah ujian ketika mengejar seseorang, Allah berikan orang yg mengejar juga :(( tapi da moal goyah pokona mah hati ini buat si Amis Cau. Pokonya kita liat hatii ini tetap konsisten untuk mengejar si Amis Cau.