#silly little theory that will make zero sense in a few years probably. but until then... no

[ralseinumberonebiggestsupporter]

half assed don't forget analysis because im evil

keep in mind that i don't think im right about everything and that we can't make a 100% Correct assumption because we're on chapter 2/7 and this is all speculation and i have a favorite character and am therefore biased

So...

"when the light is running low and the shadows start to grow and the places that you know seem like fantasy"

this is referencing the dark worlds, and talking about "the places that you know" means that the listener is a lightner. i think it's unlikely that the singer is talking to us, the player, because we're not the one going to the dark world in real life. geddit

"there's a light inside your soul that's still shining in the cold"

snowgrave reference 😨 since the soul was mentioned we can Assume that the singer is talking to kris, cause their soul is pretty important lol. the light could be referring to the player, or just to the fact that souls naturally glow!!! but yeah their soul is shining in the cold. probably telling deers to kill people or whatever lights inside souls do

"with the truth, the promise in our hearts"

vague things we don't know about.. unless i tell you who i think is singing this then an explanation won't make sense. let's move on for a second

"don't forget, i'm with you in the dark"

WORLD!!! THEY'RE WITH KRIS IN THE DARK WORLD

now let's bring out the theory glasses. we have three characters that have been consistently with kris in the dark, and they're susie, ralsei and Us The Player. we can probably rule susie out because her voice is too deep to sing like that. u know.

the player COULD make sense but what have we promised in our hearts. to take care of kris? we were literally thrown into their body without our consent SMH MY HEAD!!

and so we're left with. ralsie ralsy ralsigh rals-hi ralsay ralsei

he is with kris in the dark, almost acting as a sort of guide to them. they could have made a promise in their hearts (so that's why, ok, kris?) while we weren't looking. and about the "truth", HE definitely knows something we don't, and could have probably told kris. the promise might also just be referring to the legend slash prophecy slash lullaby. that's all

side note i've seen some theories about dess singing this to noelle but it sounds too. high and mighty??? to be a sister singing something to you type of song. idk how to explain it?? the promise in our hearts especially is like. entrusting you with this great power!!!! also, the light in your soul shining in the cold, how would she know about snowgrave... also also while noelle is a main character. kris is the protagonist. and she wasn't fully important until chapter 2. the song's leitmotif was EVERYWHERE in chapter one, if it was related to noelle we'd hear it next to her more often you know...

this is just a theory, i don't think i'm the only one who gets it or whatever, if you have any counter evidence for this feel free to prove me wrong!! maybe dess singing it makes more sense and i'm just stupid lol. tell me your thoughts...

oh and i think the easiest way to find out for sure who's singing this might be by looking up the japanese translation and seeing who uses what pronouns for who etc but i don't know anything about japanese so this is all i can do.

BYE EVERYONE

[longitudinalwaveme]

Arkham Sessions: Captain Cold

These vignettes, and, more specifically, the characterization of Dr. Hugo Strange, are based on the wonderful Arkham Files YouTube videos produced by Mr. Rogues.

Here's his channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyxNOHiNclZlVpeRhYV2QRQ

Since I am a huge Flash nerd, I decided to use this idea as a jumping-off point to explore how the Rogues would respond to therapy sessions. Again, all credit to the basic format goes to Mr. Rogues.

Not everything Dr. Strange says should be taken as truth; his bias against costumed vigilantes affects most of his interviews with the patients.

Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Leonard Snart, also known as Captain Cold. The patient displays a number of antisocial tendencies, but no formal diagnosis has ever been given to him, and since he arrived at Arkham only a few days ago, I have not had the time to give him a complete psychological examination. Session One. Good day, Mr. Snart.  

Capt. Cold: Len. 

Hugo Strange: Pardon? 

Capt. Cold: Just call me Len, Doc. I ain’t the type to stand on formalities. 

Hugo Strange: Very well, then. (Pause) So, Leonard-

Capt. Cold: Not Leonard, Len. 

Hugo Strange: I take it you’re not especially fond of your given name? 

Capt. Cold: Believe me, Doc, if your name was ‘Leonard Snart’, you wouldn’t be fond of it, either. 

Hugo Strange: Fair enough. So, Len, what exactly influenced you to put on a parka and go running around robbing banks and jewelry stores with a freeze ray?

Capt. Cold: It ain’t a freeze ray, it’s a cold gun. 

Hugo Strange: Besides semantics, what is the difference? 

Capt. Cold: Mr. Freeze-you got him locked up somewhere in this loony bin, right?- has a freeze ray. It shoots ice. Me? I’ve got a cold gun. My gun negates thermal motion. Stops protons and electrons dead in their tracks. People too. Even the Flash slows to a crawl when I hit him with it. 

Hugo Strange: (Surprised; a bit skeptical) Do you mean to say that you have invented a weapon that can create temperatures of absolute zero? 

Capt. Cold: Yep. And I did it years before that lovesick freak got turned into a popsicle man. 

Hugo Strange: Your records indicate that you dropped out of high school at the age of fourteen, Len. How could you possibly have the requisite knowledge to create such a weapon? Are you even familiar with James Prescott Joule or J.J. Thomson? 

Capt. Cold: Who? 

Hugo Strange: J. J. Thomson is the man who discovered the electron. James Prescott Joule is the scientist who discovered the First Law of Thermodynamics. If what you’re saying is true, you managed to exceed the wildest dreams of either of these illustrious men, without even knowing of them or their theories. 

Capt. Cold: Huh. Guess I did. Well, how about that?

Hugo Strange: How could you possibly have managed this, Len? 

Capt. Cold: Just ‘cause I’m trailer trash don’t mean I’m stupid, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: Clearly not. So, how did you do it? 

Capt. Cold: Sorry, Doc. Trade secret. 

Hugo Strange: Len, we gave you a number of psychological and intelligence tests upon your admittance to Arkham Asylum, and-

Capt. Cold: (Cutting him off) About that-what’m I doin’ in this loony bin, anyhow? I ain’t crazy, and even if I were, I’m from Central City. That’s a thousand miles away from Gotham. 

Hugo Strange: A few weeks ago, Iron Heights Penitentiary’s southwestern wall was destroyed in a mysterious accident. As a result, it is currently incapable of holding supercriminals, metahuman or otherwise, and you and your cohorts had to be housed somewhere. Through a series of political and judicial decisions that I confess make as little sense to me as they probably do to you, all of you so-called “Rogues” were transferred to Arkham Asylum until such time as Iron Heights is properly rebuilt. 

Capt. Cold: I get havin’ to send us someplace else if Iron Heights is destroyed, but...I ain’t insane. Why not send me to Blackgate instead of the loony bin? 

Hugo Strange: Many people are of the opinion that anyone who puts on a silly costume in order to commit crimes is insane by definition, Len. 

Capt. Cold: That include you, Doc?

Hugo Strange: Whether or not you are insane in the legal sense of the term is not for me to decide, Len. That being said, I do believe that your decision to commit crimes in such a...theatrical...manner indicates some level of emotional disturbance. 

Capt. Cold: Hey, Doc, you’re the expert on this stuff, not me. 

Hugo Strange: In that case, why don’t we return to the subject of your astonishing invention? 

Capt. Cold: I’m stuck in the loony bin anyway. Might as well. 

Hugo Strange: Can you please refrain from describing this facility as a “loony bin”, Len? The term is pejorative, both for the staff who work here and the other patients who live here.

Capt. Cold: Pejorative? What’s that mean, Doc? 

Hugo Strange: It means that it is rude. Describing the mentally ill as “lunatics” is unkind and unscientific. 

Capt. Cold: Whatever you say, Doc. Whatever you say. 

Hugo Strange: (Coughs) As I was saying, when you arrived at the asylum, we gave you a number of psychological and intelligence tests. While your scores in the area of mathematics were unusually high, especially for someone who never finished high school, your literacy scores were abysmal. You are thirty-eight years old, but you read at the level of the average six-year-old. 

Capt. Cold: Well, we can’t all have your fancy education, Doc. What’s my reading ability got to do with my cold gun? 

Hugo Strange: I find it difficult to believe that a high school dropout-a high school dropout, moreover, who can barely read-would be able to invent a gun that can produce absolute zero on his own. 

Capt. Cold: Are you callin’ me a liar? 

Hugo Strange: Not necessarily, Len. What I am saying is that I do not believe that the Cold Gun was created in the way that you may believe that it was. 

Capt. Cold: Oh, so you ain’t callin’ me a liar-you’re callin’ me crazy. 

Hugo Strange: I did not say that either, Len. 

Capt. Cold: You didn’t have to, Doc. I may be a redneck high-school dropout, but I ain’t survived as long as I have by not knowin’ when people are bad-mouthin’ me. 

Hugo Strange: Len, I am not bad-mouthing you. I am trying to help you.

Capt. Cold: Sure you are.  

Hugo Strange: (Frustrated) Not everyone is looking to take advantage of you, Mr. Snart! 

Capt. Cold: Funny. Hasn’t been my experience, Doc. (Pause) Look. I ain’t mad, Doc. If I had a buck for every time somebody called me trailer trash or a dumb thug or a stupid hick, I wouldn’t need to rob no more banks. You ain’t said nothin’ I haven’t heard a million times before. But I want you to know this: I invented my cold gun, and I did it by myself. I. Ain’t. Stupid. 

Hugo Strange: (Looking to change the subject) Len, I never said that you were unintelligent. In fact, your criminal history makes it quite clear that you are an effective, pragmatic operative. An unintelligent man could never have organized the only successful costumed criminal combine in the nation. Every other group of costumed criminals has folded within a few months at most, usually due to interpersonal tensions, but you have somehow managed to keep your little group together for over a decade. What is it you call yourselves, again?

Capt. Cold: The Rogues. 

Hugo Strange: That’s right. The Rogues. Now tell me, Len, what exactly is the secret to your group’s...ah...success? 

Capt. Cold: (Amused) You plannin’ to start a costumed gang, Doc? 

Hugo Strange: Certainly not. I am simply curious. It isn’t often that I get the opportunity to interview criminals from outside of Gotham’s borders. 

Capt. Cold: It ain’t that complicated, Doc. The reason we’ve held together for so long is ‘cause we got an unspoken code. We watch one another’s backs to the end. Nobody gets left behind; everybody gets an equal share. 

Hugo Strange: (Surprised) Are you implying that you are...friends...with your Rogues? 

Capt. Cold: You think I’d trust people I hate to watch my back?

Hugo Strange: Admittedly, that wouldn’t make much sense...it’s just that I was under the impression that you were the leader of the group.

Capt. Cold: I am. 

Hugo Strange: Most gang bosses I know keep the majority of the profits from their crimes for themselves.Why don’t you? 

Capt. Cold: ‘Cause we’re a team. We do equal work; we get equal rewards. 

Hugo Strange: A surprisingly admirable sentiment for a common thief. 

Capt. Cold: (Proudly) There ain’t nothin’ common about me, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: (Sigh) That’s certainly true, Len. (Pause) On the subject of things that are not common, why the parka and the silly goggles? 

Capt. Cold: Practicality. Parka keeps me warm; goggles help focus my vision and keep me from bein’ blinded by the flare of my own cold gun. 

Hugo Strange: I see. (Pause) And why call yourself “Captain Cold”? After all, you aren’t really a Captain of anything. 

Capt. Cold: I’ll admit, it ain’t the most creative name in the world...but anything’s better than “Leonard Snart”. 

Hugo Strange: Why not just change your name, then? Why take up a ridiculous costumed alias?

Capt. Cold: Because I’m not just an ordinary thug. Leonard Snart is ordinary; boring…..but Captain Cold? Captain Cold is cool.

Hugo Strange: Was that a...pun?

Capt. Cold: What can I say? I admit they’re dumb, but old habits die hard. 

Hugo Strange: And the Flash had nothing to do with your decision to put on a costume and call yourself by a silly, alliterative name while committing crimes? 

Capt. Cold: The Flash? Why would he have anything to do with it? 

Hugo Strange: I was under the impression that the Flash was your arch-enemy. 

Capt. Cold: (Laughs) Arch-enemy? What is this, a Saturday morning TV show? 

Hugo Strange: The Central City papers make quite a big deal of your rivalry with the so-called “Scarlet Speedster”. 

Capt. Cold: Look, the Flash is basically a cop. Sure, he’s a cop with superpowers, and he’s good for sharpening our wits, but at the end of the day, he’s just an obstacle to our getting the score. 

Hugo Strange: Then you don’t view your battles with him as some epic confrontation between ideologies? 

Capt. Cold: Why would I do that? Ideologies don’t pay the grocery bills, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: And you haven’t dedicated your life to proving your superiority over him once and for all? 

Capt. Cold: No. I fight the Flash for the same reasons I fight the cops: I want to get rich, and he’s standing in my way. Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.

Hugo Strange: So the Flash is nothing special to you?

Capt. Cold: I didn’t say that. Like I said, he’s good for sharpening the wits. I wouldn’t be half as successful as I am if he weren’t around to keep me and the guys on our toes, and yeah, it’d be neat to finally get the victory over him once and for all...but really, he ain’t so different from us. He’s just another guy workin’ a nine-to-five, tryin’ to provide for his family. I don’t like him-he’s a stuck-up, self-righteous prig sometimes-but he’s a good person. He’s not a superhero ‘cause he wants hero-worship. He actually wants to help people. He’s even helped me, and I make a career out of trying to freeze-dry him. You gotta respect a guy like that. 

Hugo Strange: You actually see the Flash as a man?

Capt. Cold: What else would I see him as? A Martian? ‘Cause I’ve seen Martians, and I can tell you, the Flash ain’t green enough to be one.

Hugo Strange: It’s not that. It’s just that I’ve spent so much time with the patients who view Bruce Wayne, formerly the Batman, as some sort of supernatural entity or as a grand opposite in a never-ending conflict between order and chaos that it’s rather...odd to listen to a costumed criminal who claims to view their local costumed vigilante simply as a person. 

Capt. Cold: Man, you have got to get out more. 

Hugo Strange: (Coldly)  I don’t recall requesting life advice from you, Mr. Snart. 

Capt. Cold: Well, you should take it anyway. Ain’t often I give stuff away for free. 

Hugo Strange: (Annoyed) This session is not about me, Mr. Snart. It’s about you. 

Capt. Cold: What else do you wanna talk about? I’m not stupid, I’m not creepily obsessed with the Flash, I don’t butcher people for fun, and I don’t have any weird hang-ups about dead relatives or riddles or plants or dolls or jokes or the number two. I’m not a good guy, but I think I’m a pretty normal guy, all things considered. 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Snart, no one puts on a costume without some sort of psychological disturbance. Even if the Flash was not in some way responsible for your decision-something which I am not yet fully convinced of-no rational human being would do such a thing. I just need to find out what your disturbance is. (Pause) Perhaps it began in your childhood, Mr. Snart? 

Capt. Cold: (Icily) My childhood is none of your business. 

Hugo Strange: I am your psychologist, Mr. Snart. That makes it my business. (Pause) Let’s see. Your file says that you were born to Lawrence Snart, a forty-year-old police officer who was kicked off the force for public drunkenness and suspected corruption, and Shirley Snart, a fifteen-year-old high school dropout. You and your family lived in a dilapidated trailer park, and your father was a known alcoholic who drank away your family’s welfare money. Five years after you came along, your younger sister, Lisa, was born...and your mother ran away, never to be seen again. The neighbors called the police because of domestic disputes between her and your father no less than thirteen times in five years, which leads me to suspect that she was spurred to leave the family because of her husband’s abuse. You were left to raise your sister, essentially on your own, at five years old, and you were effectively the head of the household from that point on. You never had a childhood, Mr. Snart. 

Capt. Cold: Don’t you talk about my sister!

Hugo Strange: I take it that you’re close to her? Understandable, I suppose, given that you grew up with her in an abusive household. Your grandfather, who drove an ice cream truck, did his best to protect you and your sister from your father’s cruelty, but he was old and in poor health, and he died when you were only twelve years old. You never got over the loss, and your father’s abuse only got worse as you and your sister got older. When you turned 14, you dropped out of high school; you then worked a number of odd jobs to support yourself and your sister. However, shortly after you turned 18, you and your father got into a dreadful argument, one that ended with you running away from home and leaving your little sister alone with your father. After that, you eventually fell into a life of petty crime. 

Capt. Cold: I...I had no choice. If I hadn’t left, he would’ve killed me! 

Hugo Strange: I am not blaming you for choosing to run away, Mr. Snart. You were an abused child with very few options available to you. 

Capt. Cold: (Quietly) I could’ve taken her with me. 

Hugo Strange: And why didn’t you? 

Capt. Cold: ‘Cause I was an 18-year-old dropout. Nobody was gonna give me custody of my sister...and besides, I’d started hangin’ out with dangerous people. I...I didn’t want her to get hurt. 

Hugo Strange: In other words, she would have been in danger no matter what you had done. 

Capt. Cold: It don’t matter! I’m her big brother! I was supposed to protect her! 

Hugo Strange: (Coming to a realization) And because you weren’t able to protect her from your father as a boy, you’re trying to make up for it now by becoming this “Captain Cold”; a larger-than-life persona that can do all the things you weren’t able to do as a child. You’ve made yourself too powerful and dangerous for anyone to threaten, and you’ve made a surrogate family for yourself and your sister. That’s why the Rogues are so successful...it’s because they aren’t really a gang at all. They’re your family. Isn’t that right, Mr. Snart? 

Capt. Cold: (Sarcastically) An’ I suppose the fact that my grandpa drove an ice cream truck somehow subconsciously influenced my decision to become Captain Cold? 

Hugo Strange: (Aware of the sarcasm, but ignoring it)  That’s perhaps a bit of a stretch, but it isn’t impossible. 

Capt. Cold: I don’t believe this….

Hugo Strange: Don’t be afraid, Mr. Snart. Admitting you have a problem is difficult, but it’s also the first step on the road to recovery. 

[rigelmejo]

If you happen to learn like me (I guess try it out, see if it helps), then I cannot emphasize this enough: read.

Read early. Read immediately. Read when you know 10-50 words in the language, even that early. 

It will motivate you to learn more words - then read as you learn more words. And get you used to a few things immediately: you’ll see grammar immediately, often, and if you read a grammar guide then all those grammar points will be constantly reinforced as you read and see them again. And 2: you’ll be training the skill OF reading from the very beginning.

There’s multiple parts to reading. One part, is having the actual knowledge necessary to read something - do you even know the words in the text (or have the ability to look them up), do you even recognize the grammar enough to identify what it’s function is meant to be (or at least enough to look it up)? This is one part. 

The other part is how you parse through that information. How used you are to seeing the grammar - so that you can recognize what you’ve previously studied, so that you’re used to how it works and can read through it without pausing to think about it. So that you can recognize when words are being used as nouns or adjectives or verbs, recognize proper nouns, recognize what are key points versus details. Whether you need a dictionary for some words/a grammar reference, or you already ‘know’ enough to read without reference - the ability to process what you read will still be weak if you have not practiced it. But if you’ve been practicing it, then like everything else, it gradually gets better. 

When you do both parts at the same time - then when your knowledge of grammar/words is weak, you can rely on your ability to ‘process’ to help make the text easier to figure out. If your ability to process something is low (maybe its difficult), you can rely on your knowledge of grammar/words to help you figure out the text. If you work on both, then you can have them both supporting each other as you improve reading. 

---

In theory, maybe you could ‘only’ practice the processing, and rely on word/grammar lookups constantly until it got easier - a difficult road though, probably. Likewise, many people wait until they know X amount of words before trying to read - and as a result they have zero practice ‘processing’ this language reading material, and sentences they know every word for still don’t make sense and feel difficult. Doing both is difficult at first - just like doing one alone would be. But if they’re done together, then they also improve together, and so the middle stages of reading skill feel much easier than they might otherwise. 

If you know 2000 words but have no idea how to process text, even graded readers are going to feel painful at first. If you’ve been making yourself practice processing text, even back when you only knew 500 words? Then by the time you get to 2000, processing is also at a relative intermediate stage. And the biggest difficulty is generally just lack of vocabulary - which is easy to lookup with a dictionary. Whereas, you can’t ‘look up’ anything to improve processing skill. You can lookup knowledge you lack. But the only way to improve processing skill, is TO read, and to keep practicing reading. 

I remember how difficult reading used to be. It’s still not ‘easy’ like french is easy yet, but its happily following the same trajectory reading french (or I imagine even english when I was young) did. I rememeber the first few months, grammar absolutely anihilated me. Even though I’d ‘studied’ it recently. I sort of knew all these grammar points in theory, I just had no idea how to process them in practice. I could look up words all I wanted, to fill in my gaps in knowledge. But I couldn’t improve my processing except by reading. And just over time... grammar got so much easier. It just clicked, a few points making sense at a time. Then those points getting easier for me to recognize faster, then those points getting intuitively understood. Etc, as it happened with more.

Likewise - I could learn words, but it was hard to process all the ways they were used, until I practiced processing them more. Even if I looked words up, even in sentences with grammar I could process, some words just did not make sense to me in their context. Then just over time, more and more made sense. I used to be very confused by ‘weile’ and ‘zhexie/zhege/zheshi’ as some basic examples. Or later words like ‘kanqilai’ and ‘qilai’ and ‘yihou’ ‘yiqian’ ‘dao’ etc. Eventually they made more sense, and then more did in more context, etc. All just from reading practice. I couldn’t read a definition to get these words to make more sense, I just had to read more.

I’m still noticing these areas of processing getting better over time. But I do remember, back when I tried reading 3 paragraphs of the MoDaoZuShi intro in like month 5? I looked up all the words, recognized the grammar, and understood nothing. Then in like month 8? I read the prologue with no dictionary and guessed at the unknown words, and knew enough to understand the gist and most of the details. Mostly, because those things I knew before just ‘processed’ better in month 8.

over time, subtitles got easier to ‘process’ so now I don’t have to pause them as often to figure out what they mean (parse through the sentence for meaning).

Now most novels don’t hit me with any sentence that I can’t at least figure out with a dictionary. I’m still stumbling over some things, but now since I can process overall a lot of things better - I have more surrounding understanding to help me figure out the more confusing parts. Like right now, I’m really struggling with PRECISELY how ‘yu’ and ‘you’ get used. As in ‘yu’ by/with/at/for, ‘you’ - by/done by etc. I roughly understand these words - I know their definitions, and I can roughly guess their meaning in sentences and follow the plot. But because they do mean slightly different things in various contexts, I clearly just need to see them more and more in examples before they’ll ‘click’ and be easier to process too. I have to say though... its way easier to focus on these words/grammar points, since I have so much surrounding understanding. If I had just waited for X words learned before starting reading? Then I’d be learning ALL the processing skills from point 0. That would be... discouraging.

In a way, I already waited to long to start reading as much as I sort of WISH I had. I read about once every 2 weeks, until month 8. It was only in month 8, that I started reading roughly a few times a week - and reading full chapters per sitting, instead of just several paragraphs. As a result, it WAS brutal at first. Because my processing skills were clearly lower than my vocab. I tried graded readers, and even though I knew all the words, they were a struggle to read. So, as my typical silly self, I picked a webnovel instead - with even MORE unknown words, even Harder. I read 15 chapters of it. Which was hard... but clearly helped. Then I went back to the graded readers, and they were a breeze - so I’d clearly built up some processing skills.

After that, I again brutally myself, decided to try reading a harder print novel I owned. That was... again, brutal. Then I went back to the webnovel? And the webnovel was notably easier! Again, those processing skills had built up some more, and I’d probably picked up some more vocabulary as well. 

And its basically been repeating since then - a much quicker rate of progress, where it seems a significant amount easier every 2 months or so. I feel like I’m at like - the reading level I had in 4th grade in english? I was in one of those accelerated reading programs, so we’d read some middle-school level books by looking up like 20 words before each chapter and then having to read X amount a week. A bit challenging, definitely compared to whatever the 4th grade reading level was supposed to be (I remember liking Catwings and Bunnicula a lot which I think was my 4th grade level, and I feel like chinese graded readers I’ve been picking up feel like Bunnicula in difficulty). But also, back when I was that young sometimes I’d pick up my dad’s big huge Mitchner novels like ALASKA or his Sherlock books, and I’d read a few pages - they’d be super difficult to understand, a little painful, so I’d only read a few pages. But I’d usually understand the gist. And I’d pick up some of my moms books on Aliens and supernatural stuff, and mostly read the captions on the pictures, maybe a paragraph or two. I feel like my chinese reading level is around this right now. I can pick up adult novels and it hurts, but I can follow whats going on without a dictionary roughly. And with a dictionary, decently. I can pick up ‘teen’ level books and follow them easier, but need a dictionary for total understanding of all details. And I can pick up graded readers and they’re basically extended reading, if they’re at a low enough level (like HSK 4 vocabulary wise, to maybe 2000 words - after 2k words, I run into more and more I need a dictionary for if I want to follow details). 

---

anyway yeah. I remember in french I started reading at 50 words, then 100, then 500, and just kept reading. And it just ‘magically’ got easier. And I sort of did that with chinese, and am so glad I did. I wish i’d done it even more. I’m doing it more now. 

It felt so good last night, to be able to just binge a few chapters of a fanfic in chinese, without feeling drained. It felt so good to be at the reading level where I can look up words I need to fast enough to not slow me down enough that I lose interest. 

don’t wait until you’ve ‘prepared’ enough. don’t wait years. i waited years in japanese to read, and it was the biggest thing holding me back. i didn’t wait in chinese, and in part reading MOTIVATED me to study what i needed FASTER. It certainly helped my processing skills. And when processing skills are higher, reading overall is just less painful. A dictionary can lessen the pain of not knowing enough vocabulary. But only reading practice can lessen the pain of processing skills being weak. And - if you start to read later, it’s fine. Its okay if it seems ridiculously difficult at first, that will pass. Its just you working on the processing skills, and as those develop reading will go up to feeling mostly only as difficult as the vocabulary.

[writingpaperghost]

To Be Yuji (Part 1)

To Be Lonely; To Be Best Friends

Yuji was six when he realized just how strange he really was.

---

Yuji is six. Like any six year old, he wants to watch his tv shows, play games, and play with friends. He can do two of those things, but the last one is a lot harder... Yet somehow, someone still shows up, a whirlwind storm unlike anyone he’d ever met before. His most amazing best friend.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27476341/chapters/67180420

Yuji was six when he realized just how strange he really was. It was about a month or so into his first real year at school when he figured it out. The other kids didn’t like to be around him, they wouldn’t play with him, because they thought he was weird. He was too strong for a six year old, too good at climbing what he shouldn’t, he could jump too high and was far too loud. His teachers didn’t dislike him, he could tell that much, but they didn’t particularly like him either. But the children were a different story. They kept their distance.

In theory, Yuji always knew he was odd, that he wasn’t like other children. Other children were completely human, didn’t have another form with claws, glowing eyes, and sharp teeth - even if he wasn’t in that form all that much anymore. Other children had parents - actual parents, not the ones he just decided to call that, he barely saw them anyway - instead of being taken care of primarily by his brother and Big Sis Laiha and Auntie REM. Other Children didn’t have so many people they considered direct family, didn’t choose to consider family so many people who weren’t. Other children watched cartoons instead of Don Shine, considered the characters of them their heroes instead of two giants who fought monsters - admittedly, those two giants were his Big Bro Riku and Uncle Zero.

The point was, as Yuji was currently telling himself as he climbed a tree in the park, Yuji was not like other children and they shunned him because of it. Even at the young age of six, he knew he was more lucky than his brother was at this age. Big Bro Riku just had Big Bro Pega and Big Sis Moa for friends and no family at all. But still, it didn’t change how much the other children’s actions hurt. They made Yuji sad and he could tell they made Big Bro Riku sad as well.

Yuji was sitting in the tree now, perched on a nice branch that he decided was plenty sturdy to hold all his six year old weight. His brother was off a ways, watching him. Unlike the adults at school, Big Bro Riku knew not to worry about Yuji climbing things. Well, most things.

Looking out from his perch in the tree, Yuji could see more of the park then before. All the children running around and playing with each other... It made something in him feel funny, but he wasn’t really sure what it was. It was kinda like being sad, but not exactly. He decided it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to let those other kids get him down anymore! He was getting to be a big kid, after all, he was a whole six years old! He was smart enough to know that what those kids thought didn’t matter.

With a huff, he pulled a little packet of fruit gummies out of his pocket. He’d managed to grab a few and hide them in his pockets before they left home. (Truthfully Riku had seen him, he’d known that. But Big Bro Riku didn’t say anything about it. He knew that Yuji didn’t enjoy the park as much as he used to, not since his efforts to be social and have friends were dismissed by his peers.) He tears the packet open, as gently as possible so that it the fruit gummies don’t go flying out of the packet. That had happened before, but he’d worked really hard to figure out how to open them without it happening. He grabs one and puts it in his mouth, idly chewing.

“Heya!” Yuji jumps, wrapping his legs tightly around the branch and grabbing it with one hand, his other hand holding his packet of fruit gummies tightly. Near him, perched on another branch of the tree, was a girl, with light brown hair and bright eyes that... didn’t quite seem right (They seemed just a slight bit inhuman. They were a bit of a weir color.). She was grinning, though her smile shrunk as she tilted her head and asked, “Did I startle you?”

After a moment of work, Yuji returned to his previous position. He gives the girl an odd look, “Yes!” Then he looks away, remembering that the branches they were on were rather high off the ground, at least for six year olds. “How did you get up here?”

She laughs, her smile returning in full force, “I climbed silly. Isn’t that how you got up here?”

“Well yeah but...” Yuji wasn’t really sure how to put it. He’d seen how the parents of other children where when they tried to climb trees. “Most of the time parents don’t like it when kids climb trees. I’ve seen adults lecturing my big bro for letting me climb the trees.”

The girl shrugged, laughing slightly, “Who cares what those adults think.” She moves from her position half sitting and half crouching on the branch to simply sit. “My parents don’t mind, so it’s okay. They know that I’ll be fine even if I did fall.”

Even if she did fall? That was an odd thing to say, though Yuji supposed he couldn’t talk. Probably the only reason Yuji was allowed to climb the trees is because he was a good climber and probably wouldn’t get hurt if he by some chance fell. Still, this girl is strange.

“So why are you up here?” He finally asked. If she was going to make fun of him or something, they might as well get it over with.

“Oh, I just thought you looked lonely.” She said, then leaned forward so she was closer to him, “So! Do you want to be friends?”

“Be friends?” Yuji echoed. For a moment, it seemed nice, the idea of having a friend like all the other kids. But... “You don’t want to be friends with me,” He lamented, “I’m weird.”

The girl tilted her head and frowned, for a moment, in thought. Then, her smile returned and she declared, “Well that’s alright! I’m weird too.”

Yuji was six, he just couldn’t help the flicker of hope that came with those words. “Really?”

“Yeah!” The girl cheered, “Oh! I’m Suzume.”

“Susu... Zuzu... Zusu...” As a six year old, Yuji struggled with Suzume’s name. It had two sounds that sounded very similar, along with as a whole sounding like another word Yuji already knew. “Susume?”

“Suzume.” She corrected with a giggled, “Su-zu-me.”

“Su-su-me.” She let out a dramatic sigh, one that Yuji knew wasn’t serious.

“Okay,” She said, “We can work on that later. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Yeah, what’s your name?”

Oh, yeah, Yuji hadn’t introduced himself. With an excitement he hadn’t felt since last night when he got Big Bro Riku to tell him about one of his fights against a monster, he says, “I’m Yuji!”

There’s a sparkle in Suzume’s eyes when she hears that, “Yeah! Yuji’s a cool name.”

“So is yours, Susume!” Yuji nodded, his new friends enthusiasm catching up with him. He knew he had messed up her name again - it was so hard! - but she just smiled.

“Suzume.” She corrected, though she didn’t seem very annoyed at how he kept messing it up.

“Susume.” Yuji frowned again, “I’ll get it. Eventually.”

“Of course you will.!” Suzume shifts to a crouch again, a huge grin on her face, “Now let’s go play!”

And so the did. Yuji and Suzume played until she had to go home. After, Yuji runs to Big Bro Riku, who he knew was watching the whole thing. Still, he felt the need to tell him all about his new friend. He was just so excited.

“Big Bro! Big Bro!” He cheered as he ran as fast as his little legs could carry him towards his brother. “Guess what! Guess what!”

“Oh? What is it, Yuji?” Big Bro Riku asked, squatting down to hug Yuji and pick him up.

Yuji response with a huff, “No, you have to guess.”

Big Bro Riku laughed and gave what must have been a half hearted guess, “Uh... You found a new bug friend?”

Giggling, Yuji shook his head, “No! But I did get a new friend!”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah! Her name’s Susu - Zuzu - Suzu... Susume! And she’s really cool!” Riku listened with a smile as Yuji began to talk and talk about his new friend, “She likes to climb trees and plays with me! We played Ultras and Kaijus and then we played the floor is lava and then we played tag and hide’n’seek! She’s really fun!”

“Well,” Big Bro Riku began, “I guess going to the park today was good.”

“Yeah!”

---

Yuji was seven when he learned why Suzume was so strange. They were sitting in a tree, just like when they first met, watching the children run around below them. They were both munching on some fruit gummies, keeping them both occupied.

“Hey, Yuji?” Suzume called out, though it was quiet. Yuji looked over, confused. It was unusual for her to be so quiet. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Really?” Yuji asked, “What is it?”

She frowned for a moment, “Well, the thing is...” She took a deep breath, “You gotta keep it a secret, alright?”

Yuji tilted his head. Whatever it was, he would keep it a secret, but it was odd that she was telling him he had to. Did she do something she wasn’t supposed to and didn’t want to get in trouble? “Okay, I can keep it a secret.”

Suzume nods, very serious, “Alright so here’s my big secret, “She said, then in a low voice, continued, “I’m not human.”

“Huh? You’re not?”

She shook her head, “No,” She seemed very serious, almost too serious for being her age. “I’m an alien.”

“Oh,” That made sense, at least it did to Yuji’s seven year old brain. “Okay.”

“O-Okay?” Suzume echoed, bewildered, “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I’ve got plenty of family that aren’t human. Like Big Bro Kurow and Uncle Zena are aliens, so’s Uncle Zero and a whole bunch of other people, and Auntie REM’s a computer.” Yuji explained. Really, Suzume not being human just made her fit in with Yuji’s world all the better. “Big Bro and I aren’t even entirely human!”

“Well I guess that’s good...” She noted, then stopped. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“Uh... Which part?”

She leans closer, a small frown on her face, “What do you mean you and brother aren’t human? You two are aliens too?”

Yuji rubs the back of his head, “Well... Kinda?” He says, “It’s a bit complicated. But like we’re both human and alien?”

Suzume stopped leaning and crossed her arms, “Both human and alien?” She echoes, “How?”

“Uh, well, we’re like, kinda clones of this one guy and - actually,” There was probably a better way to explain this, “You know Ultraman Geed?”

“Of course, who hasn’t seen him before?” She responds, “But what does that have to do with any of this?”

In a loud whisper, a pointless gesture as no one would be able to hear them unless they got very close to the tree, “He’s Big Bro Riku.”

There was a surprised look on Suzume’s face at that, “Your brother is Ultraman Geed?” She gasped, “That’s so cool!”

“I know!” He gushed, then smiled, “But see! It doesn’t matter that neither of us are human, or completely human.”

“Yeah!” She nods, “Either way we’re best friends!”

Yuji was a lot happier that day.