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yuljedoc · 2 years

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Lovers to Friends?

There's this multi million-dollar question why Yijin and Heedo can't remain just friends.

The fandom is divided. Is it really possible?

Aren't they friends to begin with? Was it the pain between them?

Personally...

I think that not only did the break up of Yijin and Heedo was painful, but also her separation with the Taeyang Squad.

But let's find out. Shall we?

This reminds me of a dark humor response that Heedo is back to square one:

친구 없어

I don't have any friend.

but if I may, let's grammatically correct it:

친구들 없어 = I have no friends.

I gotta put the plural 들 to put salt on the wound. Yeah. 'cause it felt like Heedo not only lost the love of her life, but the friends she made along the way.

I'll try to explain why. Bear with me, please.

In my opinion, I do think Minchae didn't even know who were Heedo's friends back then. It wasn't directly implied, yet as we can see in episode 4, Minchae's grandma, Shin Jaekyung had to introduced their names one by one.

Hence, the birth of the Dementia Theory.

We assumed Shin Jaekyung have dementia or in it's early stages of Alzheimer's and Minchae was just testing if she can remember her so called father Kim/Baek Yijin. Yeah. No shit.

Also, adding the fact that Minchae doesn't even know who Baek Yijin is, if he really is the father as we have hoped for or just for the sake that her mom and this guy were friends before. Minchae doesn't seem to know his existence.

But kidding aside, it did looked like she was seeing them for the first time or maybe knowing them only through photos. Painful take, apologies for that.

Looking further back, when Minchae first read the diary. She uttered the words:

But as we watched and analysed it, it didn't seem that Heedo wrote the first sentences in the diary pertaining to Yijin, but to Yurim.

For me, it is canon that her first love could be these 3:

1. Fencing

2. Yurim

3. Yijin

I am so sure that what Heedo meant and obviously it was Yurim.

So, why the hell does Minchae doesn't know that they became best friends? Like, how?

Two plausible explanation:

Heedo did not tell it to Minchae and Minchae has not even met Yurim.

끝

And to expound the disconnection of Heedo and the Taeyang squad, remember how she suddenly forgot the beach trip? :

I mean, how the hell can someone fails to recall being carried like this?

I'd probably tattooed this on my mind for the rest of my life. I'd write poems and songs about this. lol

Well, to tell you the truth. I am torn. 50/50.

Some even thought that she was just feigning ignorance infront of her daughter, but biologically and psychologically speaking, I must say a 40 year old Na Heedo forgetting this iconic memory is valid.

I'm not gonna talk about Heedo having the crazy Selective Amnesia Theory. Naur. Or the funny pun where Yijin's forehead flick was so strong she forgot the trip etc.

Hear me out on this first. I'll explain.

Let's focus biologically and theoretically. As someone who works in healthcare, I've seen people and even studied that it's quite possible that you wont remember everything in your past. One simple reason? Old age.

Neurons deteriorate.

I know that sounded like she's already disintegrating mentally. She's not even that old yet. Even Jaekyung remembered their names and it wasn't even shown in the drama that she met Heedo's friends. I know. It's crazy.

But somehow it's true. There are even 3 theories why we forget: physiological, neurochemical, and psychological.

And Psychologically there are 5. For Heedo's case, I think it has got to be Decay Theory. It fits.

Decay theory states that if we don’t access memories, they will fade over time.

So, why does she doesn't access it?

Maybe Heedo doesn't go about revisiting her memories. Is it?

But why?

Going back again in episode 4, where Heedo said these:

What is this? Very conclusive, right?

It might mean something...

And that something means there must be a painful meaning behind why she had to forget.

There was this another theory again back then that a very traumatic event happened to one of the gang. Like, Yijin, Yurim, or even Seungwan dying.

Yijin dying from overwork or accident. (Here comes the 9/11 & Red Luggage Theory)

Yurim taking her own life because of recurring suicide attempt.

And Seungwan will die because of her bleak outlook in life.

We were certified clowns. It made the whole fandom a carnival.

These things didn't even came true.

(Well, thank God about that. The ending was traumatising enough. )

So, what exactly happened?

This happened:

The breakup scene that caused a discourse. Some were satisfied, but majority was in uproar. Chaos was ensued. We were all depressed. I got panic attacks.

The other camp were saying that this is a beautiful closure and the other camp were all enraged that this was the end of all things they had.

So, was it that beautiful?

For me, it was painstakingly beautiful. The setting was indeed beautiful. It was Spring and what does this season even means? Blossoming? New fucking beginning? Of what, Baby? Beginning of a heartbreak? Sorry. I'm starting to cuss. I want to break something and sue this network. It doesn't make sense. It made sense, but it felt like it doesn't.

Back to regular programming.

For that very reason, I can say that Heedo forgetting the beach trip is logical because this is a viable explanation.

But the question is, what about what the Taeyang Squad? Is she still in contact with them?

We can assume that the answer is No for the year 2021.

There are three possible reasons:

1. Just Because. Some might disagree on this, but as we age we don't really have time to always be in constant communication to our friends. This is especially significant to the people we are friends with when we were younger. Though, this doesn't apply to everyone, but I can attest that this happens. It happened to me. The last time I saw my friends was at a funeral. Yup.

Also, we can also strengthen this claim from this scene:

Seungwan mentioned how they only get to see each other when someone passes away.

2. Pandemic. We know the writer wants this drama to be as realistic as possible to even include this in the present timeline, but I'd like to argue that even though there's still a panini going on, there's this thing called Internet and social media.

3. The Break Up and the Connection of Their Friendships To Each Other. Okay. It was already given how Yijin and Heedo's bond will fall apart, but what about the others?

As we can remember from 2009 funeral scene, Yijin brought his brother, Baek Yihyun and from there, a relationship kind of formed with Seungwan or should I say: rekindled.

And the fact that Seungwan and Jiwoong were diaper friends, I don't think they stopped communicating to each other either.

So basically, if what we can assume from the present time, Seungwan could be Yijin's sister-in-law now and considering the fact that Jiwoong's wife is Yurim, only Heedo was left.

Left alone? Left behind? Or she basically left the gang and turned everything into memories? 🙃

Well, that's how I see it.

On top of that, Baek Yijin and Na Heedo's relationship back then or should I say, still?

They are so much in love. Their affection to each other is so strong. I'm using "is" because there's absolutely no way that their love for each other was gone.

Heedo named her Atelier 2521, rainbow chairs, Yijin things in her old room, red car, her reaction to Jaekyung when she mentioned meeting Yijin recently, not talking about her past memories to her child, talked about it was easy to break off engagement than divorce at the funeral, supposed husband is nowhere to be seen and heard, going to the tunnel after getting her diary back, sentimentally re-imagining a supposed closure from what happened at the tunnel?

What is this sorcery?!

This further strengthened my claim that Heedo didn't moved on until she got her diary back or maybe she really didn't.

Okay. You might argue about the diary, so let's talk about.

I can't post here without breaking down. I can' revisit that scene 'cause it still breaks my heart.

But almost at the end, Heedo came back to the tunnel right after reading the response from Yijin.

Heedo wrote:

온마음을 다해 사랑했어

I have loved you with all my heart.

She used: 했어, which is a past tense. That was heartbreaking and alarming.

But, I'd just like to contest and we can collectively agree on this, I know 'cause I feel it, that she did not meant that her love for Yijin ended up right after they broke up or when she wrote that.

You know why?

Because why did she freaking ran to him to say goodbye? Wasn't that love? Did she just did that for the sake of herself? No. It's obviously because she said some hurtful words to Yijin. She meant those hurtful words, but she didn't said those things to hurt him. You know what I mean.

But what about Yijin?

Yijin didn't wrote loved, but thank you. It just meant he still loves her that time or maybe still. He had to let her go because that's what she wants. He only wants her happiness.

(Insert the romantic monologue from episode 12 with 알콩달콩/Sweetie Pie)

Also, I'm already writing another entry about the concept of moving on: 2521 edition

And I know this might sound a stretch, but remember the last freaking scene of Yijin trying to access his account? Yeah? The prime cause of my panic attacks.

She was the security question. But what's the big deal? If that's the present timeline meaning 2021, and Yijin was trying to access the account of more than 15 years. If we were to subtract 2021 to 15 means it was probably in 2006 that he made her the answer to the freaking security question: Who's your first love?

And how old is Minchae in 2021? 15, right?

This is so depressing.

Okay. If I were to really conclude now my ramblings, I am always gonna be reminded of a saying that goes...

"If two past lovers can remain friends, they are either still in love, or never were."

I cannot speak for everyone who have had lovers and first loves in the past, but this is what I believe about them and what also happened to me.

And that might be the answer why they can't be lovers to friends.