#skoot kings

[bigstepdisk]

Best Reed Richards out there ft. his toasters

[neckdeep--in--realfriends]

Maybe this year I’ll make some cool car friends here in Washington...

[endlesspaint]

MT accepting defeat XD

Forgot to post this. This is my new header.

[kriddy23-blog]

The day my hot water left me, part 2!

I honestly can’t even make this shit up. Here I am sleeping the best fucking sleep of all time, I’m still drowsy now thinking about it. One of those deep mother fuckers, the land of no dreams just deep sleep. It’s fucking lovely!!! Especially at fucking 4:40 in the morning!! So I’m throwing out zzz’s like fucking gang signs and Emma comes in and wakes me. At first all I can think is “are you fucking seriously doing this?!!!” Then when I come too and realise what the fuck is going on, I hear “Kristy, ummmm the hot water system is exploding out water” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ GEEETTTT FFAARRRKKKEEEDDD!!! I drag my fat ass out of bed, thinking “I’m gonna stomp the plumber next time I see him” wobble downstairs out the back and what the fuck do I see?!!!! A FUCKING REMAKE OF 2012 GOING ON IN MY BACKYARD!!!! One of the pipes must have come loose or something. Cause right now this spray could blow a small child out its fucking boots!!! There’s water everywhere like me after seeing chris naked, and now I’m standing in the back yard, dark as fuck, apparently now wet as fuck just staring at this fucking problem that I have again. So with nothing I can do, I walk up stairs, cursing my whole existence and wondering “what the actual fuck do I do now” coz the cunts just down there spraying fucking water everywhere. I call Chris (my partner, who’s an interstate truck driver) and he reckons “there’s a valve, if you go turn that the water “SHOULD” stop. Well christobad, my love. I’m not about to stand out the back yard, in the dark, stomping around in mud, getting squirted so hard in the face it’ll probably rip my face skin off to try and find a fucking valve that “should” stop the now big gushing fucking porn star hole I have in my back yard!!! Now I’m up in bed listening to water just spraying out all over my back yard!! Fucking lovely!!

I’m sitting up stairs drafting a sorry letter to the world for causing a world wide flood, I get a call from Chris saying “I called the plumber and he won’t be free for ages, you need to go down and turn the valve off”.

So off I go, boot skooting my almost bare ass and body downstairs to face the wrath of Poseidon himself, and what dilemma do I face now? High heels as my designated raft to dodging my cats landmines while also trying to save the world from total flooding!!!

Somehow I manage to fist the shit out of my hot water system until she stopped moaning like a $2 lady boy. I’m climbing upstairs dripping wet feeling like I’ve been violated all morning by an overly horny housewife while her pool boy is on holidays. I get out of my clothes, dry off, find another one of chris’ shirts and slide ever so gently into my amazing king size bed just in time for my oldest son Benji to say “morning mum!!! Suns up!!!”

And so my day began.