#smartasks

[42ds-too]

The bra you have on in your "turning $20 into $40" pictures, I'm guessing is Savage X Fenty since you tagged that. What is that bra called? My wife loves bras with the straps that go over the top of the breast like that. I want to point her to Savage is that is where that came from.

Thanks!

You are correct, that is Savage X Fenty! It's one of my favorites for actual everyday wear, (though those little strappy things do ride up occasionally). I don't know what size she is, but your wife may be in luck.

Even though it is a few years old at this point, it looks like some sizes are still available.

[42ds-too]

Let's play a game...

Here's the one rule: submit the number and the question as an ask.

I will not go back and research what you're asking if it is not included in the ask.

Wanna be nosy. . . here's your chance

0: Height

1: Virgin?

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What your last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[the-brightest-leader]

(psst,it's just Test Tube (@smartasks) messing around by being anonymous :] ) Woah there lightbulb! You opened ask blog too? Or whatever it's called..

"Testy!! Hey!!"

Lightbulb beamed.

"I heard Fan talking about an askblog he follows,so I got curious and decided to make my own!"

[braincoins]

seleeneparis replied to your post: As a reminder, I am not answering Voltron Season 6...

What if you ask about why you’re not answering asks? Would that be an ask about a season six ask or would that be an ask about an ask? Sorry, I’m being and smartask. :P

Y’all can ask about asks all day long! I’d rather you didn’t, ‘cause it’s my birthday and I’d rather people played the Birthday Fic Game and/or just had fun and were nice to each other instead, but hell, I can’t stop you. ^_^

[magic5ball]

Nature Trail to Hell Arc II: Watt Outta Hell (3)

Chapter 3: I am Relieved of Unnecessary Appendages

I woke up lying on a table. An operating table. But before I could wonder if this was going to be a recurring thing, I realized that where my feet should have been, there were now a pair of raptor feet, complete with oversized sickle claws. The table was surrounded by A-Hole, F-Bomb, and several other Deinonychus I didn’t recognize on account of them all wearing surgery masks.

“Wakey, wakey, Turd.” Grumbled A-Hole. “We’ve finished your forkin’ enhancements, see?”

I stared down at my new feet, willing my new toe claw to move. It was surreal to see how it responded, part of me now.  “A-Hole, what did you do to me?”

F-Bomb sighed “What’s it forkin’ look like, smartasp? We infused you with deninoychus DNA. You’re one of forkin’ us now! Also I might have sawed off your old forkin’ feet and turned them inta forkin’ paperweights.” He pointed to a desk, where sure enough, my old feet were being used to hold down a bunch of files.

For a moment, I stood shocked, hardly believing what I was hearing, only for it to rapidly give way to complete and utter joy. I was part dinosaur.

I was part dinosaur.

I was part Dinosaaaauuurrrrr!!!!!

I couldn’t believe it. After five long Christmases of being let down, I’d finally achieved every 10 year old boy’s ultimate fantasy! If I’d know this, I’d have converted to Satanism years ago!

A-Hole and co. meanwhile, stared at me with every kind of confused expression known to man.

“Hey Boss,” whispered F-Bomb, loud enough for everyone to hear,  “Wouldn’t you think the forkin’ turd would be more forkin’ freaked out by this. I mean, we did just forkin’ rework his forkin’ genetic code. And turn his forkin’ feet inta paperweights.”

A-Hole gave F-Bomb a stare, but not just any stare. No, what we’re talking about would make even gorgons turn to stone! Or as the gang called it, the ‘Death Glare’.

“Aw, can it, F-Bomb. I don’t pay ya to be forkin’ smart!”

“Actually, Boss,” Schizzle interrupted “Ya don’t really pay us at all. It’s more like indentured servitude, see?”

“And I told you to stop usin’ all those ding-dong fancy words!”

The room erupted into argument, Deinonychus shrieking just like they did in the movies, pouncing on each other and trying to disembowel one another with their sickle-claws. And yours truly was getting the opportunity to live with these guys for possibly the next eternity!

But midfight, there was a loud shriek. Everyone stared at a door in the back as none other than Hoe swaggered into the room (on high heels, no less)!

A-Hole was indignant. “Hoe, I thought I told you to stay in the kitchen and cook the severed heads of my enemies!”

“Well I can’t exactly do that when you’re up here making a ruckus of everything. How exactly do you expect me to use the right amount of coriander if you keep breaking my concentration? “

For the first time, I saw A-Hole concede defeat. “Oh, all right. Guys, let’s make up.” Everyone proceeded to awkwardly pat each other on the back, whether or not their entrails were currently lying on the floor.

Hoe walked up to me and winked “Don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll get used it sooner or later.”

A-Hole swiped dust off his shoulders. “Now that that forkin’ scuffle is over, (Which I won, for the record) I guess it’s time you got introduce to your new family.” He pointed at his chest. “I’m A-Hole, but you’ll be callin’ me Boss, capische?”

I nodded.

“Excellent. Next is F-Bomb, he’s our torture specialist, and a dang good broccoli cook.” F-Bomb looked like he wanted to stab a fork through my eye.

“For the forkin’ record,” he screeched “I’m never gonna be your forkin’ friend. Ya fork!”

A-Hole continued going from person to person “this here’s Schizzle, our dumb muscle, you’ve already met Hoe, she’s our gardener and cook, and then there’s C-Word, D-Bag, B-yotch…”

My mind swam as I tried to keep track of them all. Try as I might, they all just blurred into a bunch of Deinonychus wearing pinstripe suits. My attention didn’t snap back until the cutest, fuzziest little creature I’ve ever seen wriggled out from between A-Hole’s legs.

“…and finally, Weena, my pet dik-dik.” I cringed as he started scratching the thing behind the ears, talking in that gushy voice my Mom always uses with my little brother. “Who’s been spreading diseases to cattle all around the world? You have, yes, you have!” Everyone else awwwed on cue, though this felt more out of obligation than respect. Except for me, because let me tell you, the moment I looked into Weena’s wide black eyes, I could tell this was a girl who’d been inside for too long to ever come out.

“Anyhow, since you’re part of my gang, now we need to give you your gang name, see? Whatever they called you on the upside, it don’t matter none down here. From now on, you’re Turd E. Mcturdpants. Jr. ” He grabbed one of my hands and nearly shook it off. “Congrats kid, I knew you could do it.” Everyone else clapped as I wondered what other crazy things I could get away with using Monopoly Money. If the money was worth as much as A-Hole said it was, I had to wonder why those games didn’t singlehandedly cause mass inflation. Everyone clapped, except for Schizzle.

“Now hold on, Boss, I don’t mean to intrude, but don’t we already have a Turd?”

A-Hole nodded “Turd made his choice when he tried to ditch us. Had to give him the usual. Now come on, my friend. Don’t make me change your name to smartask,”

“What’s the usual?” I asked.

“Oh, put him in a bag with rocks and dump him in the River Styx.”

“Oh.”

A-Hole slapped me on the back, in a way I think was supposed to be Fatherly but came off as him trying to break my spine. “See, little Turd? You’re gonna learn somethin’ new every day, guaranteed! Now here’s your honorary suit!” Someone tossed a pair of clothes right into my lap. When I picked them up, I saw it was just an old T-Shirt. I couldn’t read the words on it, but based on the pictures it seemed to be from a benefit concert to cure cooties in Uzbekistan.

“Why don’t I get a pinstripe suit like everyone else? Or pants?”

“’Cause you’re the new guy, see? Gotta work your way up to pinstripes, see? Pants are for jocks only, see? Speakin’ a’ workin’ your way up, F-Bomb, you train the kid.”

The smaller dinosaur looked like he would explode.

“Why do I have to forkin’-“

“You’re the shortest, and the rule around here is shorty always teaches the new guy.”

“But I’m naturally this forkin’ small! It’s forkin’ genetics!”

“They cry to the Lord, why dontcha?!”

This went back and forth for several minutes as the other Deinonychus left the room, rolling their eyes like they’d seen this a thousand times. In the end, it was F-Bomb who gave up.

“All forkin’ right, but only ‘cause you forkin’ tok me in. Just remember I’m not your forkin’ dik-dik!”

Weena, meanwhile, was occupied licking drywall in a corner of the room. And pooping.

The short dinosaur gestured a claw at me. “C’mon, ya forkin’ turd. It’s time ta be gangster.”

Now, I know this might sound sappy, but the moment we left that room, I could tell my new life as a gangster was about to begin.

“So where do I start?”

“Fer starters, were gonna get you some forkin’ firepower. There’s a store on 34th and Chestnut that sells some good tommy guns.”

“Wait. So I’m part dinosaur and I get an awesome gun!?” At this point, I really started to doubt I was in Hell.

F-Bomb glowered (though at this point he did it so often I couldn’t tell if he meant it or his face just normally looked that way). “Kid, if you keep forkin’ out over every single forkin’ thing, I swear I’m gonna cut all your forkin’ limbs off, and feed ‘em to the Cerberus!”

[42ds-too]

Mmm nice blog

Gee thanks, Mister!

[42ds-too]

F- Favourite Song?

This is IMPOSSIBLE. However, in order to actually provide an answer, I'll go with one of my absolute favorites. Can't wait to see them again soon...

[42ds-too]

Personally, I prefer to keep them in my carry-on, right on top. Easy access if TSA has any questions, which should allow you get through the experience as quickly as possible.

I have also put each toy in its own clear Ziploc bag, then put all of those inside another bag, whether clear or not. This way, if they do ask to take things out, they're not touching your toys directly. (They would probably thank you for this one as well.)

I have also heard that they need to go in your carry on baggage because many now have lithium ion batteries that are not supposed to be in the cargo hold of airplanes. Don't know that anyone's going to say anything, but just another thing I've read.

I think the thing for me, if they do want to investigate, is just to be honest. What's this?That's vibrator.

That's a dildo.

That's a butt plug.

Are we done here? Majority of people have sex, tons of people have toys, there's nothing to be ashamed about!

Flying tomorrow with one of the few friends who knows about my Tumblr/hoe adventures and she sends me this yesterday... 🤣

On my last trip, the TSA screener tapped the shoulder of the woman running the machine for the next line over. She gestured to my bag on the screen and they both made a a judgey face. I laughed. These women could most likely greatly benefit from using a few of those toys regularly...