#smashniss

[kittykat8311]

I write the words. I'm mainly doing the underwear portion, but June makes dresses. We wanted to do something nicer than just underwear. But the shipping of anything is like $34 and we're not really in a position to afford that right now.

Okay.. I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand what you need from me? I’m in the UK, and you and the words and the underwear are in the US and you can’t ship them but you want me to model.. something? 

[dateatransgirl]

date a trans girl you're proposing to on March 17th whenever she gets to your apartment that day.

[precioustranswoman]

Have you read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft? Cos it's not an action (poly etc) that causes a normal personb to become abusive. An abusiveb person is looking for things to become abusive over. B

i ahven’t read it yet. and yeah i know its just hard to imagine without putting some critical thought that they’d just go out and find more problems

[missvoltairine-blog]

Why is Hawkgirl a man apologist?

Look when she said that she was dating John Stewart and I honestly can’t hold that against her because if I was dating John Stewart I might be a man apologist too, he’s pretty great. That was in the DCAU so it wasn’t even like he killed an entire planet full of people like he did in the comics either! Man, did that story suck, lmao, OH WELL GREEN LANTERNS CAN DO SHIT WITH YELLOW STUFF NOW GUESS EVERYONE ON THAT PLANET LITERALLY DIED FOR NO FUCKING REASON, anyway, what was I talking about, oh yeah, for a more serious answer: Shayera has always been written, across various mediums, as like... kind of one of Those Women who is like, Oh I Just Get Along Better With Men, I Don’t Get Other Women, Bitches Are Crazy, I’m Not Like Other Girls. In the comics there are times when they get into this a bit more and you see where her defensiveness around other women comes from (spoiler alert: it’s a defense mechanism because trauma basically lol) but in the DCAU, idk, sometimes it rubbed me the wrong way because they never really got into it OR allowed her to really have like, a solid, non-competitive, non-frienemies style friendship with another woman. 

[breastforce]

I thought one of my friends might know you, but it turns out there are many trans women with boob themed names named Red in the Bay Area.

the titty committee

[poinsciuri]

Hey tyde, have you considered that maybe a trans woman wouldn't want to come off anon cos of how many followers you have.

i will reply in private to anyone who wants to discuss this.

[rgr-pop]

smashniss replied to your post:

I am really so happy and proud of him except he...

Did one of them come out as bi or gay?

no but like 

[kimmywithay]

@smashniss yeah there’s a lot of vague overlap between diagnoses. like do I have ADD or am I on the autistic spectrum? do I have OCD or are my obsessive/compulsive issues from manic episodes? or maybe from my general anxiety? and it’s difficult to even get a full evaluation. it’s very frustrating.

[motherboxing]

my fiacee doesn't know who H*go Sch***zer is. Can you give a brief overview about this internet disaster?

urghhhh So H*go Schw*z*r was, back in like… idk, I feel like I started becoming vaguely aware of him around 2010-ish? I don’t know how long he was around in online feminist blogging circles before he started to become fairly prominent in those circles but it seemed fast to me at the time. He was for a while kind of the go-to guy for a White Dude Ally’s Perspective On Lady Problems Back When We Were All Calling Feminism “Lady Problems” Because Of The Brief Relevancy Of S*dy D*yle (who is probably a topic for another post about the sordid history and bullshit nature of the Professional Feminist Blogosphere). He wrote guest posts and did interviews for a number of feminist blogging sites (idk all of them but I think Feministing was one, as well as Feministe, and he was featured a few times on Jezebel and xoJane, etc) and he founded a website called the Good Men Project for ~feminist ally men~ to talk about how hard it is when we are not about me or whatever.

Early on there were problems with the way he conducted himself online. Numerous women of colour and specifically black women raised issues with how he talked about race, and when they did they often found themselves being harassed and bullied by white feminists in positions of relative social power within those scenes. This guy also often talked about his students - he made a big deal about how he taught womens studies at a university, although it later was revealed that he had no academic background in womens studies AT ALL, he was a history professor who basically taught a couple of classes on the subject of gender because the college he worked for didn’t have a proper womens studies department at the time - in ways that were patronizing, racist, sexist, and otherwise just troubling. (I can’t find it but I remember one where he talked about Latinx students of his and how “hot blooded” and sexually driven they were, which made the men sexist and the women vulnerable - stuff like that.) His writing and public speaking and etc all seemed like they were geared more towards establishing a cult of personality than anything else (ads with giant pictures of his face, his name everywhere, much more prominent than the actual subjects he was supposedly addressing, etc.) 

As he gained prominence he started writing more about his personal history with his girlfriends and ex-girlfriends, often going into humiliating details about their own sexual histories, their bodies, etc - there was an infamous article he wrote about pulling a tampon out of his ex-wife’s vagina, for example. He alluded to and explicitly talked about his “bad boy” past, implying or stating that he USED to do very bad things like sleep with young students of his, take advantage of women in vulnerable emotional states, etc, but that all of that was past him now because feminism had shown him the light.

A LOT of white, cis, upper/middle-class women with online presences that centered around a particular kind of reductive liberal feminist ideology REALLY ate that shit up. As I’ve mentioned, when he was criticized, they would close ranks around him. I think he served a few different purposes - for starters, he was privately sowing division and isolating women of colour by basically picking up on existing tensions between white women and some women of colour who were writing in the same circles, and going to those white women and being like, “you’re right, she’s crazy, you shouldn’t have to listen to her”. He was very good at manipulation, and he was good at picking up on who had how much social capital in any given situation. He would identify ringleaders of certain online circles and cliques, and present himself to them as a pilgrim seeking absolution from benevolent, ideologically pure (white) women. It flattered them and affirmed the sense of ideological superiority that a lot of them ultimately secretly (or not so secretly) harbored. 

But eventually he started crossing the line publicly, in ways that exposed his ongoing private behavior. There’s the infamous piece he wrote about the time he tried to murder his ex-girlfriend after she was sexually assaulted, because he thought she’d been ruined by the assault - that was kind of the snowflake that triggered a massive avalanche of backlash against him, which ultimately led to people realizing that he was STILL sleeping with his students, and taking advantage of and manipulating many other women in many other ways. He was forced out of most online feminist circles, but not before a long, bitter series of debates between people who had always been critical of him and people who felt guilty about having defended him for so long (or were just unrepentant about it, as some were!)

Every now and then he pops up with some new public face. A couple years ago now he re-debuted on Twitter and me and a couple buds got into it with him, which was an intensely unpleasant experience. Today he’s publishing a lot over on Medium, including articles that graphically describe the sex he had with students who were upwards of 20 years younger than him at the time, and who he was actively lying to through their whole relationships. I’m not linking to any of this for obvious reasons - I don’t want to give him the traffic, it’s exploitative shchlock written by a guy who wants to profit financially off of his own sexual abuse of women - but it’s easy enough to google all of this and find it if you’re really curious.

Anyway tl;dr he’s a garden-variety abuser and rapist who learned some feminist jargon and briefly became a media darling and poster boy for Feminist Men, before it was revealed that he’s a serial sexual predator and attempted murderer. 

[kittykat8311]

It's for a cover of an ebook. So digital file would work fine and it could be a photo that you take. I'm going to be photoshopping other elements in. So for payment, I can write you 5,000 words of literally anything, we can send you 3-5 pairs of custom underwear (like satin, lace, and/or velvet) which would take a while because of shipping.

Okay, I guess I’ll need a photographer here.. what kind of photo are you looking for? Specific pose/outfit/etc ?

[dateatransgirl]

date a trans girl who writes the best slam poetry.

[motherboxing]

Shayera (sp?) SMASH OR PASS

I already did this one so I will expand a bit on which Hawkpeople I would have sex with.

I would have sex with Kendra, like, you know, as she got a bit older (she’s, I think, 25 or 26 at the start of Hawkman Vol. 4? I’d have sex with a few years from then, after she’d settled into the whole superhero thing a bit more. It’s not that I’d be waiting for her to be old enough to fuck - I think it’s probably fine for a 26 year old to have sex with a 30 year old, I mean, Pif is four years older than me and we met in our 20′s - but I feel like she’s just got a lot going on and maybe any kind of sexual relationship would just complicate stuff for her and I’d feel bad about that). Kendra is considerate and funny and probably a very attentive sexual partner, and afterwards she’d let you go through her movie collection (she, like my girlfriend, still collects movies on DVD and Blu-Ray, because she doesn’t like the streaming market and she likes collecting things) and provide you charming commentary on some classic film while you lay in bed.

I would not have sex with Carter. Carter is a prick, plus all the women he has sex with die horribly. No one should have sex with Carter, especially not Kendra. Carter should never get laid ever.

I would MAYBE have sex with Katar IF he was into it but he’d almost certainly not be into it. It was a whole thing in Hawkworld that, when he comes to Earth (in his late 20′s), he has never had sex. Someone at one point asks if he’s into sex at all, and he’s like, “Well, yes, I mean, it’s not that I’ve never WANTED to have sex, it’s just never really felt like the right time, I haven’t had much of a chance to date". Which makes sense because he was basically in prison, in what amounted to solitary confinement, from maybe the age of 17/18 to the age of 27/28 - the years most of his peers were, like, becoming more sexually experienced. But also, he is a serious dude who obviously just doesn’t really think of himself in terms of how attractive or unattractive he might be to anyone around him, so he never really knows how to react when someone hits on him, and he has a lot of ideas about relationships and sex that he developed fairly young and that never really had the chance to grow and change along with him. So he has some fairly legit hang-ups about sex, and Shayera is the first and only person he ever has sex with, post-Crisis (and not counting Rebirth, Death Of Hawkman, etc). But! IF a situation occurred where he was into it, I think he’d be very sweet and attentive, with a lot of “is this working for you?” and so on, and sometimes that’s nice. 

I would not have sex with Silver/Bronze Age Katar OR Shayera because I feel like that would require them to be weird swingers and that makes me feel icky.

I can’t think of any Elseworlds Hawkpeople I would have sex with.

Oh! I’d FOR SURE have sex with Kendra Munoz-Saunders from Earth Whatever, the one where she’s like, basically Lady Indiana Jones? Yes. Yes yes. yes yes yes.

[dateatransgirl]

date a trans girl who just bought a sewing machine.