#smtb old

[lucienarcheron]

Spirit Meets the Bones XXIII

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Please note: There will be heavy subjects discussed that may be triggering.

*This chapter was previously part of chapter 21 (which again, was 30 pages?? insane) and as I have been editing and reuploading the chapters, I have since decided to split chapter 21 into two. //

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for always letting me rant about my babies ♥️

Tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @animezinglife / @readthelastpaage / @teddyhoneybear / @positivewitch / @krem-does-stuff / @clockwork-ashes / @carolynmezzosoprano / @carnythian / @runningwiththeoceans / @secret-third-thing / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @moonfawnx / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @eachies / @feysandfeels / @thelovelymadone / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @sinnerrsworld / @gracie-rosee / @stormycleric / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @theeternalstruggle / @the-midnightwriter / @illyrianvalkyrie / @that-golden-lyre / @ladystarrynight

Find it all here.

Eris didn’t let himself overthink it as he finally released her hand from his and only hesitated for a moment before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the ground. He knew Iris hadn’t meant to make a noise but the sharp intake of breath that had slipped from her mouth had him digging his hands into his thighs, tensing even further. He would not overthink it. His shirt was already off and she’d seen his scars before…even if his back had never looked this bad.

“Quite a masterpiece my father made, didn't he?” he mused quietly then dared to glance over his shoulder to find Iris’s face flushed in anger, her eyes locked on his back.

The High Lord had avoided his face, of course. He only left marks where others couldn’t see and had certainly not held back tonight. Eris knew the scars would line his back, his upper arms, and his neck. He didn’t want to think about his hair and how his father had deliberately kept it down so it would stick in his wounds and make the sting worse.

“Do you think, if I didn’t want your wife here, she wouldn’t be?” his father had whispered to him after the first crack of the whip. “Do you think I couldn’t have her in your position right now if I didn’t want to?”

Eris’s blood had boiled at the mere thought of Iris being subjected to any of this but he kept his mouth shut. He had endured. 

“You’ve gotten too bold, son. You’ve forgotten yourself.”

He had indeed. Eris had forgotten how his father liked to play. But Beron had reminded him over and over again exactly what happens to those who cross the High Lord. Eris had forced his body to shut down and closed off his mind until his father was finished. The only thoughts he allowed himself were of Iris waiting for him.

“I look forward to the day his blood fills these halls.” she muttered. “He deserves nothing but a brutal and painful death.”

The corner of Eris’s mouth curled up. “Bloodthirsty, are you?”

“I am your wife.” she said with a pointed look and a small chuckle escaped him despite how wretched he felt. 

Yes, she was. His lovely little wife.

“Tell me, how pretty do you think your lovely little Iris would look bleeding all over the throne room floor?” his father had whispered. 

His magic had recoiled violently at his father’s threats. Eris had nearly choked on the taste of ash in his mouth.

“I could make you watch. Or…have you be the one to make her bleed. What do you think, son?”

“Eris?”

He blinked himself back into reality to find that his fists had burst into flame again and Iris was watching him patiently. Eris hadn’t even seen or heard her bring a small bowl with a towel and salves, resting them on the nightstand beside them. He cleared his throat and flexed his hands to calm down. “Hm?”

“I need to start cleaning the wounds and wanted to make sure it’s still alright for me to touch you.” she asked and Eris felt himself nearly break at the question.

He forced himself to take a steadying breath and hoped she didn’t see the slight tremble in his hands when he rubbed his forehead. “Yes.” he said. “It’s always alright for you to touch me.” 

She gently squeezed his arm at the words and he tried to hold back the shudder. He wasn’t used to anyone taking care of him. He could heal himself just fine but his wife wanted to help him. His mate wanting to touch him made a world of a difference and Eris knew the thread that he was holding on to was on its last legs. He had to get everything off his chest, all the burdens he carried.

Iris guided him to sit at the corner of the bed and turn his back to her. She worked in silence at first and Eris forced himself to relax as she gently dipped his head forward and began cleaning with a soft cloth. He forced himself to take silent breaths as she touched him. To remind himself that this was not his father putting his hands on him, it was his Iris. Her lovely, lovely hands soothing the broken pieces of him. She touched him with featherlike movements and the way his body was reacting to the softness of her hands alarmed him.

This was pathetic. He was pathetic. 

“Does this…has this happened often?” Iris asked into the silence of their room. “I know you have older scars.”

The cloth slid against the nape of his neck and Eris breathed in deeply through his nose, digging his fingers into his thighs, trying desperately not to throw up. He knew without looking at his wife, that Iris had picked up on it and her touch had gotten even gentler. “You remember when I told you earlier about the High Lord and his ways?” He began tightly and Iris hummed in response. “He leads with fear and a very heavy hand. And I use the term ‘leads’ very loosely.” 

Eris forced himself to swallow as Iris began to pat his back dry and continued.

“He changed Under the Mountain. He was always rough around the edges but…that time awakened a side of my father that he has not returned from. We all did what we had to do to survive those fifty years but he…he became more vicious.” he said quietly. “Before that, he lashed out often and his fists spoke before his mouth ever did but it wasn’t consistent. You weren’t sure what would trigger him. The flogging was saved for special occasions — when we really pissed him off.” Eris couldn’t look at her as he added, “The first time he used it was on my mother. He made my brothers and I all watch.”

Iris froze behind him, hand in midair as revulsion coursed through her.

“It was after Lucien was born,” Eris said, his voice carefully void of emotion. “We were all locked in place by his magic and had to watch her bleed. We had to listen to her scream and could do nothing. None of us were really the same after that, especially my mother.”

“Why?” Iris managed to choke out and Eris looked over his shoulder at his wife.

“Monsters don’t need reasons but…” he turned away again and with his voice barely above a whisper said, “My mother had an affair and my father found out. Lucien…is not my father’s son.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “W-what?”

“My mother met a male that she fell in love with before she met my father. Her family decided power was more important than their daughter’s happiness and married her off to my father anyway,” he said, his voice dull as he glanced at his wife again before his gaze dropped to his hands. “Their relationship was…a checkbox that was fulfilled. And things were fine. Until they weren’t.”

Iris forced herself to move, to place the cloth down on the nightstand and pick up the salves instead. “What happened?” she asked as she sat behind him once more. 

Eris tensed as she began to apply the ointment, forcing himself to breathe through his nose again and calm his thoughts. “The male she loved saved her during the first war and they reconnected.” he continued. “Then the affair began on and off for years. Until my father found out after Lucien was born and nothing about her was the same afterward.”

Iris bit her lip, trying to hold back the nausea she was feeling as tension lined Eris’s back again, his shoulders stiff. “My mother was so full of light and love. A firecracker with magic that almost rivaled my father’s. She was…happy. Until that day.” Eris said and dread filled Iris’s chest when Eris pulled away to meet her gaze. “After he was done spilling her blood in the throne room that day, he took her away and they were gone for days. We did not know where they went or what he did to her then but when they came back, no fire was left in the Lady of Autumn. Nothing of who my mother had been was left.”

Iris’s heart was nearly beating out of her chest as the room heated once more. She watched Eris’s knuckles turn white from how hard he was clenching them. “Later on, after my mother remembered how to speak and to look at me without flinching,” he growled softly and Iris’s heart shattered further. “She told me everything. About her affair. About what happened. That he had used her fire against her. That he had beat her, hurt her, and burned her so badly, that he made her fear the fire that made her who she was. She is terrified of it because of how badly he made it hurt.” He let out a breath full of rage. “Since then he has never stopped belittling her and breaking her down. Hasn’t stopped doing everything he can to make her small and weak and prey.”

“And I hate him.” he snarled darkly and Iris felt the bed heat below her as she looked over at Eris, his eyes ablaze. “I hate him with every atom in my body. I loathe him and loathe the life he has forced us to live. I cannot stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice or feeling his eyes on me. I hate that he even breathes the same air as my mother. I hate that he uses my mother against my brothers and me.” Iris watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took shallow breaths. “But most of all, I hate that he’s still alive when his final breaths are a symphony I have been waiting to hear for years.”

Iris blinked and in the next moment, their whole chamber was in flames.

She gasped, her hands dropping to her lap as fire covered every inch of their room. She looked to Eris who had his eyes closed, his head tilted as frustration dripped from every inch of him. Her eyes turned to scan the room, feeling the heat and smelling the smoke. Though none of the flames touched her body, Eris was completely aflame.

“We survived fifty years of darkness beneath that fucken mountain for the nightmare to continue within this forest. He is a plague and the dream of his death is the only thing that keeps me going.”

Silence fell between them as Iris watched his fire burn throughout the room. She wondered what would happen if he did let it melt everything away. What would happen when he eventually unleashed?

“Does he know?” Iris finally asked. “That you have all this inside you?”

“He knows. Everyone knows. I will be the next High Lord.” Eris said quietly. “My power has been brewing for years and everyone can sense it. I have all this rage and all this fire but I’ve had to hold back.” He ran his tongue over his teeth. “His death has always been marked for my mother and until she is ready to get out, we cannot make a move. We endure and play my father’s games…but every now and then, I need to let it out.”

And with those words, the flames flickered out in the room. Iris’s eyes surveyed everything and found...nothing was damaged. Nothing was ruined — only a lingering smell of smoke.

Turning back to him, Iris found him staring at her, smoke coming off him in waves at what remained of his rage. He blinked at her, his expression blank as his exhaustion stared back at her. 

“Did I frighten you?” he asked quietly as she watched him. “I’ve shown you quite a bit of my dark side lately.” 

But Iris was not frightened. Not in the least. She felt — she felt seen.

She shook her head and stood carefully, returning the healing ointments to the small table beside them. How did she explain to him that there was nothing frightening about what he said? That all she felt was understood? 

Finding her way back next to him, Iris sat with little space between them and color bloomed on her face when Eris’s eyes dipped to the inch between their bodies. She let her hand slide up and gently, with a tenderness she knew they both needed, let her finger delicately trace his face.

“I’m not afraid,” she said and then let her hand continue to slide up, gently musing the hair she knew he would later mourn. “I am only enraged for you.”

A heartbeat passed then Eris shuddered beneath her touch, a sigh of relief fluttering through the whole room and Iris couldn’t help the urge to lean in and kiss him. She did so tenderly, a caress of a kiss that Eris sighed into.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch her yet, to wrap his arms around her when he was still so furious. He allowed himself to trace the material of her robe beneath his fingers instead. 

“I told you there was so much to tell you.” Eris said quietly and Iris pulled her hand away to rest in his empty one, the corner of her mouth curling up.

“And I told you I want to know.” she replied. “So tell me. Get it off your chest.”

Though exhaustion had melted his bones, Eris knew he needed to keep talking. He needed to get this all off his chest. And then he hoped he’d get to spend the rest of the night kissing her. 

Eris forced himself to breathe deeply and slowly rolled his shoulders back, the tightness of his skin as it healed fueling his anger. “My brothers and I excel in pretending to hate and want to kill each other.” He glanced at Iris. “We each control a territory and let my father believe what he sees about where our loyalty lies but do what we can to keep our lives moving. The two brothers who tried to kill Lucien after Jesminda were the two who were most like my father. The rest of us were not sorry to see them go.” 

Iris watched him curiously. “Your brothers…they are not as terrible as I’m supposed to believe, are they?”

“I personally think they’re all piles of shit but no, they’re not,” Eris said and the corner of his mouth ticked up at Iris’s amused expression. “We’re not technically close but we have an understanding. They’re…trying to survive.”

Iris nodded slowly, her eyes falling to her hands in his and the way his thumb was still caressing her palms. “Do your brothers know about Lucien?”

Eris pursed his lips before answering. “My mother…preferred for everyone’s sake, that they stay in the dark about it for as long as possible but they needed to know. We had to be on the same page for her sake. So with her permission, I told them. But the only people in this court who know Lucien is not a Vanserra aside from my parents are my three brothers.” he said and met her gaze. “And now you.”

Iris nodded slowly, a strange sense of pride filling her chest that Eris was sharing this with her. That he trusted her when he trusted very few. She felt that strange tug in her ribcage once more.

“Things are never truly what they seem with you Vanserras, are they?” she said with a small huff of laughter and Eris couldn’t help but scoff.

“Nothing is ever what it seems,” he said. “Except my father. He’s always been a piece of shit.”

Iris chuckled and she couldn’t quite place the emotions she felt as she watched him. She saw the exhaustion, the heavy weight suffocating him. She hadn’t forgotten how he’d told her how often he mediated between his parents. How many times had he done it for others as well? How often had he been the one to catch the brunt of his father’s wrath? 

Eris shifted next to her and it made her focus on him once more, his expression tight and she braced herself for whatever he would say next. 

“Lucien’s father is also why he and Elain live in the Day Court.” Eris said slowly. “Courtesy of the High Lord.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “Oh.”

Eris nodded and waited for a heartbeat as it clicked for Iris. 

“Helion?” Iris’s shocked whisper had the corner of Eris’s mouth curl up before it fell once more.

“The High Lord of the Day Court is my brother’s father, yes.” Eris began then swallowed hard before continuing, “He is also…my mother’s mate.”

Iris’s shocked silence filled the room. “Oh gods.”

Everything suddenly made so much sense to Iris. The High Lord’s contempt towards Lady Enya. His reaction whenever Lucien was brought up. 

“Oh gods.” she said again and Eris’s mouth went into a thin line. “How did your father find out?”

“When Lucien was born…no one thought anything of it. He looked like any other baby.” Eris said quietly. “Until one day…he started to glow whenever he laughed. Or whenever he was fussy. It didn’t take my father long to figure it out after that. Everything went downhill from there.” He looked down at their hands. “My mother…she has only ever stayed for her sons. So we wouldn’t be left completely at his mercy growing up. And my father knew this. He spared no chance in breaking us all down for her choice.”

“That’s why your father did what he did to Lucien.” Iris said and Eris nodded solemnly.

“Once he knew Lucien wasn’t his, it wasn’t hard for him to differentiate his treatment. He hated looking at him. Hated speaking to him. My father couldn’t outright disown him because it would bring questions and it wasn't like the High Lord would ever admit his wife had an affair. And birthed a son from another High Lord? He would never.” Eris said, scowling. “He knew he could treat my mother the way he does because she broke it off with Helion. For us. For Helion. So there wouldn’t be some kind of crisis between the two courts. She’s been suffering so others won’t.”

Eris swallowed and then looked at Iris. “They’re mates.” he whispered. “And he let her go because she chose us. She chose her children. But she has always wanted him and he has always wanted her.” Eris’s eyes fell down to their joined hands, his shoulders dropping. “He has never stopped loving her. Helion may pretend he hasn’t been waiting for her all these years with his dalliances and carefree attitude but he will always wait for her. Even when he doesn't want to.”

Iris’s heart broke for Lady Enya and for the High Lord she didn’t know. It broke for the son who knew everything and had to watch his mother fade away and his father become a monster.

“That must’ve been so hard for your mother.” she said quietly. “After all these years…” Iris shook her head. “When did Lucien find out? And Helion?”

“A few years ago.” Eris continued with a sigh. “After the war, something…something in my mother changed. Maybe it was the war or maybe her capacity to deal with my father had finally reached its limits or maybe she realized her sons had only suffered watching her suffer and she was done waiting but…” He shook his head. “I saw a small spark of who she was return and she decided she wanted Lucien to know.”

Iris scrunched up her nose and then shook her head.“I’m sure that went well.” 

“Considering I had to be the one to tell him because he wouldn’t set foot here? It went great.” Eris said with a snort so like his usual self that Iris couldn't help the small smile. “My mother wrote him a letter. And I had to watch Lucien have a fucken meltdown once he read it.”

Iris shook her head again. “You can’t blame him, Eris. He endured all that he did with a piece of shit that wasn’t even his father,” she said and squeezed Eris’s hand. “Who knows what kind of life he would’ve had if he had known about Helion sooner? I’m sure it was hard for you both.”

“It wasn’t as hard as the time I had to be the one to tell Helion.” 

Iris’s brows went up but she held off on saying a word as Eris’s shoulder tensed again. He had been sharing with her so easily, so openly, she didn’t want to say anything to have him shut down. 

“What happened?” she asked quietly and Eris sighed.

“I told you how my mother started to…come back to us,” Eris said and Iris nodded. “Well. Lucien wasn’t the only one she wrote a letter to.”

Eris shifted, running a hand through his hair while his other hand stayed wrapped in hers. “I didn’t read it, of course, but I know she told him. And I know she told Lucien that she’d let Helion know but it was up to the two of them to connect if they wanted to,” he said quietly. “She hoped they would but didn’t want to push it. She felt awful enough to have hidden it all these years and then to not be able to tell them herself…” Eris fell silent with a grimace. His mother’s face had rarely been dry from how often she cried those days.  

“How did Helion take it?” Iris asked softly.

“I have never seen someone break down the way the High Lord of Day did that day.” Eris shook his head again with a frown. “I think he was already at a breaking point and had suspected something but having that confirmation was the final straw. It was messy. For Lucien. For Helion. For my mother.” he said. “There was a lot of resentment. A lot of anger. A lot of hurt. Especially because my mother can’t speak to either of them in person…she dropped this tragic surprise on them and essentially put them in a position to deal with it without her.” Eris waved a hand. “Even if it’s not by choice, it…was hard for everyone.”

“Including you, I’m sure,” she said and squeezed his hand again. “Being the in-between.”

“I was more worried my father would find out again. What would he do to her this time if he found out she’d reached out to the one male she never stopped loving?” he said quietly then shrugged with a deep sigh. “But they have a code. She writes him letters and he replies.” 

Iris felt emotion swell in her at the Lady of Autumn and the love she never stopped holding on to. “The letters she writes to Lucien include a letter for Helion, don’t they?”

Eris let out a harsh laugh. “It’s reckless after all these years but...I see her face every time she hands me a letter and whenever he sends one back. I’ve watched her wait and suffer for all these years so she could find her way back to herself. And Helion…” His expression was tight as he continued. “He would worship the ground she walks on. He would give her everything that she’s ever wanted and a life that she deserves but we have had to watch her stay here because of us. We had to watch her die little by little each year and could do nothing.” His voice broke at the final word and Eris forced himself to swallow before continuing. “He is a better male than I could ever be. Because if my mate was suffering the way my mother has, I wouldn’t have left a person alive. I would’ve razed the whole fucken continent. I don’t know how he did it. How he still does it after they’ve reconnected.”

It took a moment for Eris to be able to continue. He sighed. “Helion has always been respectful of her choice. Even when he resented it. Even when he hated it.” he said. “Their bond…I don’t think it was ever really rejected because deep down, neither of them wanted that. I think it’s only been strained all these years.”

“And now here they are…” Iris mused quietly, her mind drifting to the conversation about mates she had with Elain earlier. “A mating bond so strong even years apart couldn’t diminish how right it is. It’s a beautiful thing for those lucky enough to find it.”

Eris tensed at her words, his heart skipping a beat. Would she still feel this way about him when he told her? Would she consider herself lucky knowing the kind of shit he had to deal with? He rubbed a trembling hand over his face and continued. 

“My mother is ready to leave. I’m just waiting on when,” he murmured. “I’ve been helping her reconnect with her magic and it’s making her stronger, but it’s been hard when she’s so fucken terrified of it.” Iris squeezed his hand and he offered her a thin smile. “She’s always been scared to leave us but my brothers and I can handle the fallout now. We couldn’t before but we will now. We want her to get the fuck out of here. We’ve had enough and she’s most definitely had enough.”

“And you’re all…fine with her going to the Day Court?” Iris asked quietly.

“Yes. A part of me will always resent Helion the way I sometimes resent my mother for all these years of having to deal with this. Even if the fault ultimately always lies with my father.” Eris said tightly. “This could end very badly but once Helion claims her publicly as his mate, my father will have to let her go.”

“Will he, though?” Iris asked, unease creeping into her chest. “What if he invokes the Blood Duel?”

Iris felt the shift in his mood at her question and watched him carefully as he slid his hand from hers and stood. His shoulders tensed even further and Iris felt the room heat up once more. Her stomach dropped as he ran both hands through his hair, his breathing turning shallow again.

“He won’t have a fucken choice. A mating bond trumps everything else.” he growled softly. “But if Beron invokes the blood duel, I can promise that it will only end in agony for him. I will do everything I can to ensure it, even if it means handing Helion the spear to plant in his chest myself. I will do anything. Anything to have him gone and be rid of this misery. I just need him gone without trying to take my mother with him.”

“You said your mother wants the killing blow.” Iris said carefully and she saw his fists clench. “Will that…be possible?”

“She will be ready for it regardless, but we will have to see how the events unfold.” he said in a strained voice. “Helion has enough pent-up rage in him towards my father that I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed him with one well-aimed blow.”

Iris opened her mouth but Eris resumed pacing with another shake of his head and continued.

“Elain’s visions keep telling me that pieces are moving and all we can do is be prepared for whatever is coming next,” he said. “The problem is there are too many things out of my control. There are too many pieces on the fucken chess board and I am — I am going to lose my fucken mind if things keep piling up.” 

Iris watched as he took another breath and fisted then flexed his hands. “You don’t have to handle all this alone.” she said and stood, watching the grimace he made at her words. “You can’t stay like this when you have people willing to help you.”

“The more people that help me, the more people get hurt.” Eris snapped and Iris frowned at his tone as he kept pacing. “I can’t — I can’t keep letting that happen.”

“Eris,” she chided gently. “You can’t stop —”

But Eris let out a snarl and Iris blinked to find him aflame once more.

“Don’t.” he said. “I can’t stop because the next person that he’ll hurt if I let one thing slip is you and that will bring hell upon us all.” His snarl shook the room and Iris felt herself tense. “Because if my father touches you. If he so much as looks at you wrong, I will kill him and probably get killed in the process, and then everything we’ve been enduring for years will go up in flames from my stupidity.”

Iris’s face flushed. The anger and shame she had felt earlier had found its way again and the feeling seeped down her body as he stood across from her. “I’m not asking you to kill your father for me, Eris. I’m asking you to ease some of the things you’re carrying so you don’t keep doing this to yourself.” she snapped. “You’re lashing out at me right now while all I’m trying to do is understand what happened with you and find a way to help.” 

Eris was breathing hard once more and she braced herself as he walked over to her, his body burning. His hand curled around the nape of her neck and he pulled her flush against him. “I know you’re trying to understand and I’m trying to help you understand how fucked up this all is and how much I have hated every single thing about myself and my life for the longest time. That I have always been a thing my father uses to punish everyone for everything because I can’t stomach him doing it to anyone else.” He took a breath as Iris placed a hand gently on his chest, blinking rapidly. “The only reason my father isn’t dead yet is because I need to make sure it’s a fight I can win. Because if I die, then everyone else is left dealing with him. My mother. My brothers. You.”

His grip tightened on her as he continued, his tone almost frantic. “I’m telling you all these things so you understand that I am fucken terrified of what comes next because things have changed for me and the stakes are even higher and now I am a thing that has someone to leave behind. Someone who will be brutally hurt just because you’re linked to me in a way no one else will ever be.” he said as his wild eyes locked on her wide ones. “I have laid down everything at your feet. All of my armor. Everything that I am and you want to know why? You asked me what had changed earlier. What happened to me.”

“Eris, you need to breathe,” she said even as her heart rate went wild, a hand clenching his arm. “I am listening but I need you to breathe.”

But Eris shook his head and before Iris could open her mouth to say anything else, his expression fell and the grip on the back of her neck tightened once more. “You.” his whisper broken and his eyes watched her wildly, wrapping her in his arm as his flame licked every inch of her. He held her to him tightly, as if afraid she would disappear and slip through his trembling fingers. “You. You. Tell me you see it. Tell me you fucken feel it.”

Iris stared at him. She stared and stared and stared and that feeling, that tug she had felt in her ribcage earlier, seemed to intensify. What he was saying — what he was insinuating. It had crossed her mind only briefly, for one hopeful moment earlier, and yet — here he was, saying — he was saying —

Something had been different since that kiss. Something had been different about him since the moment she met him. 

“I — I felt you.” Iris found herself saying then swallowed. “When you were gone and took long. I don’t know how else to describe it but…I felt you.”

“You did?” he asked, nodding. “And what did it feel like?”

“A tug.” she said slowly. “Right in my ribcage. I feel it right now.”

Eris laughed a hollow laugh as he watched her beautiful face, her expression shifting as her mind processed what he was saying. 

And Iris blinked. “I kissed you.”

“You did.”

“And everything — it felt so right.”

“You said things were always intense between us.” he said quickly. “That we couldn’t fight the pull we felt towards each other despite the way our relationship started.”

“Yes.”

“You kissed me.” he said almost desperately. “And every single thing in my life suddenly made sense. Every part of me made of stone suddenly became covered in you. Like ivy, wrapping its way around me whether I liked it or not. It was something I had never thought would be mine or something I deserved and yet somehow, this is happening. This is real.” 

Iris felt her body start to tremble at his words, the feeling inside her chest unfurling as every moment they had shared together flashed through her mind. Nothing about their relationship had made sense and yet, the two of them seemed to have been destined to find each other. Everything about them, Eris and Iris, fit together like puzzle pieces they hadn’t known were missing. She hadn’t been able to stop him from planting roots within every part of her mind and body, long before she realized what was happening — even when she had wanted nothing to do with him. 

He had always been hers and she, his.

Iris stared into his eyes, watching the hope mingle with the desperation he felt, and her hands slacked at her sides. She had spent her life adrift. Alone. She had spent her life barely mattering to anyone at all. Forgotten. And now, in a twist of fate, Iris had found something she hadn’t realized she was even worthy of.

Eris Vanserra had appeared in her life and what she had assumed would be a walk to the gallows, a nightmare like the one he had just returned from, was anything but. He was anything but.

He was her beginning, her middle, and would be her forever. 

They had both been lost only to be found within one another, the red string of fate guiding their path. 

“This is real.” she finally said and Eris nodded, his gaze never leaving hers.

“This is fucken real.” he said hoarsely. “This is very fucken real.”

Every glance. Every touch. Every moment that had angered her and made her laugh. Every moment that had made her feel. It had all been leading her here. 

It had been leading her home. 

Iris took a sharp breath and finally whispered the words, “You’re — you’re my mate.”

[saytrrose]

Undertale

I hear many terrifying tales of old from that fandom's AUs

My only claim to fame other than currently on this app was that I’m very unfortunate to say that I was the author of the very first Error Sans x Swap Sans fic ever on wattpad and it was called No Strings Attached and had 10k reads and I was legit like fucking 10 years old or smtb JDKQKD

[moononastring]

I was re reading the newest chapter of SMTB (well technically old/latest) and I swear to god, forget Eris having a breakdown over mates or the bond snapping for Iris, I WANNA KNOW WHO THE WIFE FONDLER/KISSER IS 😭😭😭. They strike every time, and whoever it is, I love them because we get jealous Eris 💀💀

HAHAHA

That poor dude is just living life, minding his business while Eris has a very meticulous murder plan with 20 stages. He's just waiting for the opportunity to present itself 🤣

It's hilarious tbh.

[brittlebytes]

uh hey just a heads up that the video you posted was made by. a really awful terf. OP was unaware of that at the time of posting

Oh shit I didn't realize! Idk how long this message has been sitting here so if u cld send me another anon telling me which video I can go take it down!!

[vanserrass]

1 through 10 for the salty asks <3

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Rowaelin. I’m sorry I just don’t see the appeal with Rowan at all. I have tried but he and Rowaelin do nothing for me.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

Main ones are Malina and Theon x Sansa - I just don’t see it romantically but I do enjoy their friendship. I’m also starting to feel this way about Gwynriel too 🤷🏻‍♀️

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Yes and I’ve blocked them. I usually give people a few chances, but if they keep posting stuff that annoys me I have no problem unfollowing and blocking.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

i have so many but the ones that genuinely make my skin crawl and jon/sa, el/riel, ner/is and sn/ape x her/mione.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

I mean I never shipped el/riel but I could have been ok with it. but then all the post acowar shit went down in the fandom.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Yes! I still don’t like Rowaelin or Feysand but there have been fics and fanart that has made me briefly reconsider those ships. Malina also has had some really good edits!

And then not ship related, but smtb has got me dumping over Eris 😊

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*

Never, because I am a perfect angel who always right 😇 lmao jk. Not recently, but years ago one one of my old blogs I used to get anon hate all the time because of shipping, mostly bc of hp ship wars.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

There’s so many, I actually am drawing a blank lol. I really hate the “secretly good guy trope” so fucking much. So it’ really shouldn’t be a surprise that I hate Sn/ape, Er/is and Rh/ys. I actually really liked Rhys in Acotar until under the mountain when he started helping Feyre and then I was like ugh BORING!

I also hate Dean and Logan from Gilmore Girls, fuck those guys.

10. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

HP really and everything related to it. Just talking about it in this ask made me angry.

Gwynriel - I have so many mixed feelings about that ship, but the ship war has really made me hate them - the ship and Azriel, never Gwyn she is my angel baby.

Lysaedion - for reasons completely unrelated to the books or fandom. One of my friends made a comment about Aedion years ago and I haven’t been able to look at him the same way since.

Star Wars - I recently unblocked the tag and started positing about it again, but I honestly the last Jedi left such a bad taste in my mouth, I’m still bitter about it.

[soft-ris]

Ofc all 7 of them are so precious !! OT7 forever but man daegu bois are one hell of a duo genuinely wish they would have a subunit collab omg speaking of which did u see the new album announcement !!! Also exactly actions over words! but I don't remember him fixing the broken sock cjskffn was that in In the Soop or BV? And maybe u're onto smtb about Pros already having those suits 😳 these men really gonna be the end of me one day 😩

TAEGI SUBUNIT KSKSKSKKS not @ YouTube showing ‘Last Christmas lyrics’ as the first video when u google taehyung yoongi song😭😂

I tried to find the source but I fucking COULDNT 💀 I RMB it was one of the members on an old show talking about how he did that secretly? This shit stuck with me hard bc the image of younger yoongs just taking out the sock & sewing it without the other member knowing is so😭🖤 but... i cant find the video :( so I’m starting to doubt my memory💀 I’m sorry😩😔 any information bank fans know what I’m talking about?😭 validate me or correct me pls 🥺

TRUEEEEE UgH Someone make a BTS x JoJo crossover PLS😩🤩🥴

[jculture-ja]

シルバー手元ステッキ （659） 42) 8馬力再熱専用機 メンズ

#歌舞伎 #市川雷蔵 [exchange.co.tz]Apple 【S/N Fender / Candy Bass JD15019593】 Japan Aerodyne Exclusive Jazz Red 【神戸三宮店】 Old 花／うず文 SPB-3 市川雷蔵「眠狂四郎」,KE-01-タンイエロー-手縫いキーケース-KE01-FLATHEAD-フラットヘッドキーホルダーキーケース-STOCKBURG-ストックバーグキーケース 【smtb-tk …

[kabukiinfo]

シルバー手元ステッキ （659） 42) 8馬力再熱専用機 メンズ

#歌舞伎 #市川雷蔵 [exchange.co.tz]Apple 【S/N Fender / Candy Bass JD15019593】 Japan Aerodyne Exclusive Jazz Red 【神戸三宮店】 Old 花／うず文 SPB-3 市川雷蔵「眠狂四郎」,KE-01-タンイエロー-手縫いキーケース-KE01-FLATHEAD-フラットヘッドキーホルダーキーケース-STOCKBURG-ストックバーグキーケース 【smtb-tk ...

[r551177]

送料無料【smtb-tk】OLD CROW（オールドクロウ）【OCW-17-SS-18】【OLD RODDER - DENIM PANTS】USED加工 オールドロッダーデニムパンツ14ozセルヴィッチデニム

価格：￥62640

店舗名：LAHAINA

[lucienarcheron]

Spirit Meets the Bones - XIX

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse.

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for always being my beta reader <3

tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @readthelastpaage / @positivewitch / @clockwork-ashes / @animezinglife / @carolynmezzosoprano / @carnythian / @runningwiththeoceans / @secret-third-thing / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @devilsfoodcake22 / @moonfawnx / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @easchies / @feysandfeels / @thelovelymadone / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @teddyhoneybear / @sinnerrsworld / @gracie-rosee /@queenoftheworld1998 / @stormycleric / @wolvesnravens

Find it all here.

Eris hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off her during their visit, watching as she laughed at Lucien’s jokes, at Elain’s witty responses, and most importantly — he knew she could feel his eyes on her whenever her lips curled up into a smile at some quip he made that resulted in outrage by their hosts.

Eris Vanserra was hanging by a thread and his wife would be the one to snip away whatever was left of his sanity. And she didn’t even know to what extent.

He watched how animated she became since they’d arrived, so at ease with his favorite people, it made him never want to leave. 

But to their reality they had to return and Eris watched as Iris flushed in delight at the beautiful package of stacked books that Lucien had handed her. He nearly threw up when she turned to flash him a wide smile and then looked back at Lucien as they stood in the doorway. 

“This is for me?” she asked in hushed excitement. 

“For you.” Lucien confirmed with a chuckle.

“Are you su— you didn’t have to do that.” 

“Oh, but I definitely wanted to. Eris mentioned you’ve started studying and practicing healing so I think you’ll find these helpful to your studies.” Lucien said with a small smile then shrugged at her expression. “Perks of being close to Helion. I get access to endless amounts of information.”

“I helped him pick those out and might have sneaked in a book or two for fun in there.” Elain said with a giggle and Eris truly almost vomited in his brother’s doorway when Iris grinned.

“I can’t wait to read through these!” Iris said, glancing down at the books. Eris watched her throat bob and before he could stop himself, he gave her arm a little squeeze. She looked up at him and he could see the emotion she was trying to suppress before she looked back to their hosts and said earnestly, “Thank you. This visit has been wonderful. You’re both so kind.”

Elain waved a hand. “Please, we’re so happy to have you!” she gushed. “Eris, I have something for mother if you don’t mind taking it, please?”

Eris nodded and glanced between his wife and his brother then squinted at Lucien. “Say nothing to my wife.” he deadpanned.

Lucien promptly glanced at Iris and said in his most serious of voices, “Nothing,” which only caused Iris to chuckle as Eris flipped off his brother and followed Elain.

Iris watched as Eris left her side and hesitated to glance at Lucien for a moment, her hands gripping the stack of books tightly. She wasn’t used to this, having people enjoy her company and — and give her things. Finally looking up at Lucien, she found him watching her with a patient smile as if he could sense her overwhelming feelings of gratitude — sensing the hug she would love to give him but was hesitant to do so.

“Don’t be so horrified to stand here alone with me,” Lucien teased. “I’m not as nearly as awful to anyone as I am to Eris.”

Iris let out a small chuckle and shook her head. “This has been the highlight of my week.” She finally said, smiling warmly at him as they stood by the door. “Eris talks so much about you and Elain, I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you both. Thank you again for being so welcoming.”

Lucien waved a hand with a good-natured smile. “Please, thanks are not needed. We’d always be happy to have you,” he said then gave her a sly smile. “I hope you’re giving Eris as much of a hard time as possible?”

“I try to go out of my way to make fun of him as much as I can,” she replied with a small smirk. “You should be proud.”

Lucien laughed. “You’re everything I wanted in a sister-in-law,” he said and nudged her gently with his elbow. “Welcome to our very dysfunctional family.”

“Why thank you.” she said and gave him a half curtsey that had Lucien rolling his eyes. “It’s been very entertaining…to say the least.”

Lucien snorted. “I’m sure. You haven’t even properly met the other Vanserras yet.”

Iris’s lips twitched. “Not yet,” she said with a chuckle. “Eris keeps saying no but I don’t think that will last much longer.”

Her brother-in-law made a noise in response. “To be fair, they only met Elain once from far away so I see where he’s coming from.” 

She glanced down at the books in her hands once more and then back up at him. “I’m — I hope you know…your relationship with Eris is so important to him. And it’s important to me as well.” Iris paused here, unsure of how to explain how she felt in any other way than honestly. “I don’t have many — any friends really. I want us to be good friends.”

Lucien smiled more fully then reached a hand to gently touch her elbow. “We already are. Even better, we’re family now.” he said and Iris flushed happily. “I’m very happy for you and Eris. I look forward to watching him have more mental breakdowns because of you.”

Iris ducked her head and laughed softly at his teasing. “It wasn’t that bad.” she mumbled.

“Oh, it was the highlight of my whole year.” he said with a snort. “I will never let him live this down.”

“Spoken like a true brother.” she said with a chuckle that he echoed.

“It’s not every day I get to —” but Lucien stiffened and whirled towards the kitchen, Iris tensing beside him. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Elain.” he said quickly and stalked towards the kitchen, Iris on his heels. 

They rushed in to find Elain standing frozen, her hands gripping a basket tightly with Eris holding onto her gently. He spared Lucien a glance before focusing on Elain again. “It just started.”

Iris watched as Eris slowly backed away for Lucien to take his place next to his wife, his hands touching her gently. “Elain, my love. What are you seeing?”

It took a moment for Elain to speak and Iris watched in fascination, her grip on the stack of books tightening as Elain’s eyes glazed over. She had only heard about what a seer could do but to see one in action…

“I see — fire.” Elain gasped, her grip tightening on the basket handle. “A ring of fire and blood. An eagle flying free. A crown dipped in crimson. A thread of gold.”

Eris’s eyes found Iris and she frowned at the tension in his body before turning back to Elain.

“Is she alright?” she asked quietly. “Is there anything we can do?”

Lucien shot her a small smile. “She’ll come to in a moment.” he said then turned back to his wife, a hand smoothing down her hair. “My love, do you see anything else?”

Elain blinked and Iris watched as her expression started to clear. She quietly said, “Every caged bird finds a way to flee. Some are stained red while some shed their cloaks and reign free.” She blinked rapidly and the basket slipped from her hands as she took a breath.

Lucien caught it easily, one hand on her shoulder to steady her. “Are you alright, dove?”

Elain blinked once more and shook her head, letting out a shuddering breath. “Oh.” she said softly. “I’m — I’m alright.” She glanced at Lucien, giving him a small reassuring smile then at Eris and Iris, who stood quietly. “I’m okay. It’s been a while since I’ve been hit suddenly with a vision. Usually, I feel them coming but this one snuck up on me.”

“Do you think something triggered it?” Iris asked quietly and if she hadn’t been watching Elain intensely, she might’ve missed the Seer’s small glance towards Eris and then back at Lucien.

“I — I think I was just so excited about you visiting, that’s all.” she said with a small chuckle. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed down her dress and then smiled at them. “Basket is ready to go.”

Iris smiled timidly then glanced at Eris whose gaze was narrowed on Elain.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” Eris asked slowly and his gaze flickered to his brother. 

Elain’s lips thinned. “You know it takes a little time to process my visions but I think…I think a shift is coming.” she said carefully, a hand gently rubbing her forehead.  “You should be prepared for anything.”

Iris’s brows furrowed as she glanced between the three of them. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.” she said as unease spread through her chest. Her gaze focused on how Eris had tensed, his fist clenching at his sides. At how he nodded and gave Elain a small smile.

“I’m nothing if not prepared for everything,” he said and straightened. “It’ll be fine.” 

A silence followed this statement and Iris frowned as her gaze shifted between Elain, Lucien, and finally settled on Eris. “Well. That’s reassuring, I guess.” she said, earning a chuckle from the group.

Lucien waved a hand as if to wipe away the tension and said with a small smile. “I did say this family was dysfunctional.”

“Indeed…” she said and raised her brows, nodding her head towards Eris. “I’ve picked up on that living with this one.”

Eris shot his wife a look then rolled his eyes and reached out to Lucien for the basket. “Well now, we, unfortunately, have to get back to the dysfunction.” 

Iris sighed, sparing him a glance then smiled at their hosts. “Thank you again for today. I hope we can visit again soon.”

“You’re always welcome,” Elain said with a wide smile. “I look forward to us bonding more.”

“Absolutely,” Iris replied with a smile of her own, her hands tightening on her gift from Lucien and lifting it slightly in his direction. “I hope you don’t mind if I share some thoughts about what I learn.”

“You better.” he said firmly. “I’m also looking forward to hearing about you being more violent towards my brother.” Lucien added with a grin. “Choke him once or twice, just for me.”

Iris shifted the books in her hand to give him a salute as Eris scowled at his brother. “You have my word.”

“Tell your husband to stop being an ass.” Eris said to Elain who grinned.

“Tell him yourself.”

“It hurts my eyes to look at him. I’d rather not.”

“Eris.” Iris chided. “Be nice.”

“He wants you to choke me.”

“Don’t pretend like you won’t have it coming.” she said with a snort and her husband’s scowl deepened at the laughs that followed. “I’ll try to teach him better manners for our next visit.”

“Good luck.” Lucien said with a snort of his own as Elain squeezed Eris in a hug. “My mother has been trying for years.”

“I have excellent manners,” Eris replied with a huff, squeezing Elain with his free arm. “You just seem to bring out the worst in me.”

“I don’t know about excellent.” Elain said and laughed at the look he gave her but ignored him as she yanked Iris into a bone-crushing hug. Eris’s focus shifted to Iris’s slight hesitation before she returned Elain’s hug with a fervor that had Eris swallow. 

Lucien met his brother’s gaze as Elain pulled away and tilted his head towards Iris with a small smile. Rolling his eyes, Eris gave a short nod and Lucien replaced Elain, giving Iris another tight hug.

“I should’ve known you two would be huggers.” Iris said as she pulled back with a flushed face and their hosts shared identical grins.

“Oh yes.” Elain said with a nod. “Even though these two pretend to hate it.”

Almost as if on cue, the brothers shared an identical look of disgust.

“Lucien.”

“Eris.” 

“Here we go.” Elain muttered.

“Hugging you is like hugging a thornbush,” Lucien said with a sweet smile that wasn’t sweet at all. “I am left wounded and bleeding.”

“And hugging you is like hugging death.” Eris replied with a not-so-sweet smile of his own. “I am left soulless and barely breathing.”

Lucien laughed. “You’re soulless all on your own. Don’t go blaming me for that.”

“I really should’ve stabbed you when I had the chance earlier.”

Lucien put an arm around Elain’s shoulder and flipped Eris off with his free hand. “Fuck you.”

Eris held up his own finger. “Fuck you.”

Iris shared a look with Elain then rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you’ve dealt with them like this all the time.”

“Practice.” Elain said with a grin that turned menacing as she gave both brothers a look. “And polite threats.”

Iris laughed then nodded her head towards Eris who quirked a brow at her. “I’ll choke him into submission for next time.”

“I’d rather not keep talking about my personal choking preferences in front of my brother however, if you insist —” Eris started, but Iris held up a hand with a look of disdain, effectively cutting him off as Lucien gagged loudly and Elain laughed. 

“Anyway,” Iris said, ignoring the suggestive Eris look he was giving her. “We’ll visit soon after the embarrassment of this visit wears off.”

“Please.” Lucien snorted. “We were on our best behavior.”

Iris gave her brother-in-law a knowing look that Lucien could only smile at. 

“Next time, come alone.” Elain said with a wink. “We’ll kick Lucien out then have ourselves a day of fun without them.”

A noise of outrage left both brothers and the girls could only laugh at the offended debate that followed.

And Iris couldn’t help but watch Eris with Lucien and Elain — the conversation continuing from the door to the trek of their winnowing point. She watched him as she conversed as well, until it was really time for them to leave, watching the delighted smirk on his face, how at ease he was.

When they finally departed, winnowing home, the two paused at the threshold of The Forest House and Iris watched as Eris’s expression fell into the stoic indifference he donned when home. She realized more than ever at this moment, how much she didn’t like it. How exhausting this must be for him.

Visiting Elain and Lucien had been a break and now they were back to reality. 

They walked in silence towards their wing, her hand tightening on her stack of books as she walked beside him and felt the tension coming off him in waves whenever they passed others in the halls. She hadn’t missed the glances people aimed at them and neither had he. Had word spread of what Eris had done to her father? Would it — would he have to pay a price for it? Iris stole a glance at him, noting he had only spoken when sending off his mother’s basket with a sentry. 

As they neared their chambers, Iris finally spoke.

“Well,” she began, glancing up at him. “I’m really glad we went.”

Eris gave her a thin smile, slowing down their walk. “I’m glad we did too,” he said quietly and met her gaze. “I…enjoyed watching you bond with them.”

Iris gave him a small smile, gently nudging him with her elbow. “They’re easy to like.”

“That they are.” he said and he let his eyes wash over her face, drinking in the sight of her looking at him, then looked away. “You weren’t ready to come back, were you?”

“Not really.” she said, the corner of her mouth ticking up. “Were you?”

“I never really am.”

Iris frowned slightly at the words but said nothing as they continued walking until they finally reached their chamber doors and stopped. Iris faced him and eyed the small distance between them, then glanced up at him, assessing. She watched how rigidly he stood, his hands clasped behind his back, the detached expression she had come to see through. Iris knew he carried a huge burden, and knew how heavily weighed down his shoulders were. The way his joy had to be so guarded that he couldn’t enjoy a simple outing. And gods, did she feel seen in his emotions. Seen in his struggle because hers had always been the same, was the same for so long.

He raised a brow at her expression. “What is it?”

Iris bit her lip, hesitating for a moment. Yes, things had shifted between them. They had been changing for weeks and now… 

She took a deep breath and finally asked, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” 

Eris pursed his lips and waited a moment before clearing his throat and answering, “We have a lot to discuss, I’d say.”

“And you’ll tell me everything?” she asked and the side of his mouth lifted. 

“I assume you won’t resist badgering me with questions until you get all the answers you want.”

“And I assume you’re smart enough not to let it get to badgering because then I will badger you with a weapon.” she said sweetly and Eris chuckled quietly. 

“You’re being mean, little gazelle,” he asked and shifted closer, his expression lightening even as his eyes monitored the space around them. “Threatening a prince so casually like this.”

She watched him as he scanned their surroundings, no doubt searching for any threats even with them being the only ones in the hall. Threats that were likely more worrisome for him now after what had happened earlier today.

After their kiss. After they shifted to a little more than friends.

Iris didn’t want him to keep worrying and she didn’t want to think about stepping back into their room just yet. She wanted to ease whatever it was that he wasn’t telling her. 

So she took a step closer.

“And what are you going to do about it, prince?” she asked quietly and Eris quirked a brow.

“What would you like me to do about it, my lady?” he replied, the drop of his voice straightening her spine. 

Iris bit her lip, watching him as he watched her. What did she want him to do about it? She thought about the way he had held her earlier. The way his hands had pulled her in his arms and kissed her senselessly. She may have kissed him first but Eris had really kissed her and now she wanted to do many things with him. To him. Let him do things to her.

Heat pooled low in her stomach and Iris hated the flush on her cheeks that definitely gave away where her thought process was going. He didn’t need to know what she was thinking about so she only shook her head with a small smile.

“Stuff.” she managed and knocked her elbow into his side again.

He met her gaze and shot her a knowing look that had her lips twitching. “Stuff similar to those things you refused to elaborate on during our visit?”

She shrugged with a small smile. “Maybe.”

He snorted and shook his head. “Let’s not backtrack to that maybe of yours. You’ve been very agreeable lately.”

“Well, we can’t have that now.” she said with that same small smile. “I was maybe going to elaborate but I don’t find that I am in an agreeable mood anymore.”

Eris shot her a look of disbelief then huffed a laugh. “She says as she clearly can’t keep her hands off me.”

“You let me. And you like it.”

He raised his brows. “Someone thinks highly of themselves. I don’t even like you,” he said and Iris saw him fighting back a smirk at the look she shot him. “Besides, you’re the one who denies yourself things you enjoy. And by things you enjoy, I mean me.”

“I don’t enjoy anything about you.”

“Your pretty mouth says such unbelievable lies.” 

She gave him a coy smile. “You think my mouth is pretty?”

“Don’t fish for compliments. You already know the answer to that question.”

“Well, if you’re not going to compliment me, I guess I won’t be agreeable after all.” she said, giving him her best dismissive look, nose in the air. 

Eris fought back a smile, knowing exactly what she was doing with this conversation. He couldn’t help how tense he became as soon as they returned, his home hadn’t been a safe place in so long. It certainly didn’t feel like a safe place for her either. 

But she was getting to be very good at distracting him. His wife. His mate. Who didn’t even know she was his mate.

“Maybe we should step inside.” he finally said. “I think you’ll be more agreeable behind closed doors.”

He watched her swallow, glancing at him, giving him only a moment to see the look on her face — only a second to read the emotions in her eyes then, Iris slowly turned to face the doorway.

Eris’s eyes narrowed as he watched her stand there. He gave her a moment and just as he opened his mouth to speak, she beat him to it.

“I know I said that I wouldn’t let him ruin anything else for me…” she began quietly and Eris’s jaw clenched at the mention of her father. “But… I really hate that he tainted our space.”

Eris pursed his lips then slowly rested his hands on her shoulders to turn her back towards him. Never mind the way his heart had thudded at her usage of the word our.

“I will set additional wards first thing tomorrow morning that will only allow a person you actually want to come in.” he said. “It will prevent anyone from setting foot in here without official permission.”

Iris nodded and she glanced down at the books in her hands again, worrying her bottom lip before she met his gaze once more. “Do you think we can rearrange things in there? Just a little bit. To make it different?”

The corner of Eris’s mouth ticked up and he stepped back from her. “I may have already started on that.” he said and her brows furrowed in question. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well.” he began and a hand came up to rub his neck. He hesitated for a heartbeat as she watched him then let out a breath. “I have a small surprise for you that may have already required some rearranging.” 

Her face lit up. “A surprise?”

“Yes.” he said and immediately swallowed, suddenly self-conscious that it was a stupid idea and maybe, he shouldn't have said anything. This day had been long enough, he didn’t need to see her disappointed — they hadn’t even scratched the surface of disappointment she might feel once she knew she was shackled to him forever —

But then she smiled at him, a beautiful little smile and Eris suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

“Show me.” she demanded immediately and Eris’s lips twitched at the excitement in her tone, any negative thoughts washing away.

“Don’t — don’t get too excited,” he said and moved around her to place his hand on the doorknob. “It’s not a big deal.”

Iris shot him a reprimanding look. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

“If you don’t like it or the setup of the room,” he began and licked his lips. “We can change it however you’d like.”

He felt her amusement as her expression shifted and Iris tilted her head. “If I didn’t know any better, husband,” she began in a teasing tone. “I’d say you’re nervous.”

Eris immediately scowled, willing himself not to flush at the very spot-on accusation. “No.” he said. “I just don’t want to hear your whining if you don’t like it.”

Iris rolled her eyes. “Right.”

“It’s true. I am perfectly not nervous.”

“Of course you’re not.” she said and his scowl deepened at the placating tone. 

“My nerves are made of steel.”

Iris nodded, her lips twitching. “Of course they are.” 

“I’ll have you know, I can make this little surprise go away if I wanted to.” he said, squinting at her and Iris couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her.

“But you won’t.”

Eris’s expression pinched in distaste and he was silent for a moment before sighing and finally, opening their door. “No, I won’t.”

Iris slid into the room past him and Eris didn’t take his eyes off her as he locked their door and warded it. He felt the barely contained excitement as she scanned their room, noting the minimal changes that were sufficient enough to give their chambers a different feeling.

Her excitement mirrored his own and Eris couldn’t even remember the last time he had surprised anyone with anything. As Iris turned to him with furrowed brows, he realized he enjoyed this excitement a little too much.

“Where is it?” 

His lips twitched as he slowly took the books from her hands and sent them to the table by their bed with a wave of his hand. “You’re one of those people, aren’t you?”

“Who?”

“When you’re excited, you suddenly can’t see anymore.” he said with a snort and moved behind her to place his hands on her shoulders and turn her to face the corner where her surprise was nestled.

Iris made an offended noise. “I can see perfectly fine! I — oh.”

Eris watched as she fell silent, staring at the corner of their living space. 

Seated against the wall, right in front of their large window was something he had wanted to give her for weeks. Something he had terrorized its maker, hovering over the luthier as he worked to ensure it was perfect. 

“A piano.” she breathed and Eris’s fingers clenched as she slowly walked over to it. 

It was a stunning white piano plated in gold. He had wanted to give her something that was hers and couldn’t think of anything as elegant as these two colors together in an instrument she made magic with. 

Iris touched the edge of it then looked at him and softly said, “You…you gave me a piano.”

He fidgeted for a moment, his fingers twitching at his sides and Iris felt his nervousness, his uncertainty alongside his well-hidden excitement. 

“I…know there is one you use in the music room.” he began. “And I know you had one before you met me but…” he took a breath and waved a hand. “I figured you would like one that was more private and truly yours. One that has no bad memories associated with it.”

Iris swallowed and turned back to her beautiful new gift. Of course, he would notice when she went to the music room and played to her heart's content. But it had still been in a public space. 

This — this was all hers. 

All hers and —

Iris moved closer and slowly took a seat on the piano bench, her eyes on the engraving right above the keys, in lovely cursive writing: Iris Vanserra.

She glanced at him but Eris only shrugged and gently slid into the bench next to her. She could hear his heart beating as frantically as hers. “You’re my wife. It’s about time your married name was engraved on something.”

And Iris couldn't take her eyes off him as her throat bobbed. This day had started horribly wrong until it was righted once more and, here he was, making her feel…wanted. Like she belonged. 

Like she mattered.

“When did you even have time to do all this?” She asked in wonder and Eris gave her a soft smirk.

“The devil works hard but he does take lessons from me.” He said and gave her a wink. “And I work much harder.”

A small chuckle escaped her lips and she couldn’t help but look away from him, from the way he was making her feel. “But of course.”

“Do you...like it?” he asked quietly and Iris looked up at him then. His expression hadn’t shifted as he watched her but again, she could sense his nerves — saw the way his fingers twitched at his sides.

So she leaned closer to him and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. “I love it.” she said earnestly. “I love it so much it makes me overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed?” he asked, his brows furrowed as his fingers absently brushed the cheek she had blessed with her lips.

The corner of Iris’s mouth ticked up as her eyes fell back onto the piano, with her name engraved there, marking it as hers. “You’re the first person who gave me a gift.” she said then glanced at him. “First it was the dagger and now this. Then Lucien and Elain with their books…I’m just…”

She paused, trying to find the words to explain how much this meant to her. That her interests were taken into account. How much it meant that people took the time to present her with something she liked.

“Overwhelmed?” Eris supplied with a crooked smile and Iris chuckled.

“Yes.” she replied and nudged him gently. “I also feel grateful.”

Eris nudged her back. “For having such a handsome, thoughtful, and smart husband?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well if you say it like that —”

“Don’t ruin the moment, wife.”

Iris laughed and her hands reached out to gently press the keys, finding the piano perfectly tuned. With a small smile, she glanced at her husband — her friend, and asked, “Do you want me to play a song for you?”

“No.” he deadpanned. “I only have it here for you to stare at.”

Iris snorted then nudged him hard with her elbow. “I was going to ask you if you had any requests but never mind.”

“Well, actually —”

But Iris held up a hand. “Nope. You lost that privilege,” she said and it was Eris’s turn to roll his eyes. “I will play a song of my choice.”

His lips twitched but Eris just waved a hand and then turned so he could watch her properly. “By all means, wife. Dazzle me.”

Iris shot him a look then shook her head with a small smile and Eris watched as she took a breath and turned to the piano fully. With her eyes full of delight, she said, “I think you’ll like this one.”

And his stupid heart did a spasm as she began playing the beginning notes of the song that had haunted him since the first time he heard her play it.

Everything in Eris came to a halt as he watched her fingers move. Again, he saw the melody and felt the notes vibrate in his bones. He saw the gold thread between them, weaving around them, and felt his expression falter.

How would he tell her? 

Everything about their relationship had gone at a speed neither of them had been prepared for. How was he supposed to take that and launch it into the sun? How could he tell her when she was only ready for small doses of him?

Things between them had always had a sense of intensity but had she picked up on it? Was it only from his side? He had made the mistake of giving parts of himself to the wrong person before...he didn’t know if he’d survive another round of that. Especially with Iris. His gods damn mate. 

Everything about Iris had felt right. Even when he hadn’t wanted it to be. Could he trust that she truly saw him and would choose him outside of a bond? His attraction to her had only intensified as time went on…but was it enough? Could he offer her more? Especially when this bond — this link would put her in a position of harm worse than before?

Being his wife was one thing. Being his mate put a much higher price on her head. 

He watched her hands move then closed his eyes for a moment, to feel the music beneath his skin and feel the gold thread of fate between them. Did he dare tug? What would she do?

A mate trumped marriage in every way. This was being bound on another level and he’d be damned to give that up when she’d barely begun to trust him. 

But did he lie to her? Omit such a sacred truth? Eris had always kept secrets so very close to his chest because the more people knew, the more people were hurt. And he wasn’t his father. He wouldn’t hurt people for the sake of hurting them. 

So how could he tell her? 

The end of the song came before he was ready and as her fingers slowed, and the final note sounded through the room, Eris finally opened his eyes to gaze at her lovely face, flushed in that cautious joy and his hands turned clammy.

She smiled at him and even though he was well aware of how fucked he was, it hit him just how fast and hard he was falling. Being mates did nothing but intensify what he had already been feeling.

“Well?” she said with that coy little smile that made his blood heat. 

“That…was the song I was going to request.” he said quietly.

Iris shrugged as her lips curled up. “You told me to play it again when it was a good moment.” she said. “This…is a really good moment.”

He studied her expression, drinking in the sight of her before him, open and calm, and Eris couldn’t stop himself then — couldn’t hold himself back any longer from tasting and touching her. He wanted her so intensely, so intimately, he was likely going to lose his mind if he didn’t mark her as his in some way. This need to consume her in every way slammed into him and before he could stop himself, Eris pulled her into his arms and devoured her. 

A little gasp was the only sound that Iris could make as Eris kissed her, nearly hauling her into his lap. He kissed her in a way that had every question, every concern, every thought she had fade away.

He kissed and teased her with his mouth, his lips a branding on hers and Iris couldn’t help the way she melted into his arms, taking from him as he took from her.

Until he pulled away, his hands cupping her cheeks as his eyes cataloged her face as intensely as though each expression of hers was a puzzle to decipher. She licked her lips as she caught her breath and saw the way his eyes lit up in feral delight. He kissed her again, his tongue brushing against her lips before pulling back once more. 

“Who knew a little piano would get you this worked up?” she mumbled breathlessly and Eris’s smirk was roguish. 

“Being in the general vicinity of you gets me worked up, wife.” he said and Iris swallowed at the rough edge to his voice. “You have no idea the things I want to do with you.”

“Like what?” she nearly whispered, her heart thumping widely. 

“So many things.” he said quietly, his thumbs caressing her cheeks gently. “Very dirty things.”

“You’re a scoundrel,” she said as he grinned at her burning cheeks when she pulled back from him and Eris dropped his hands.

“I am a gentleman.” he corrected. “With scoundrel-like tendencies that I am happy to show you more of.”

Iris shot him a look, fighting back a smile that had Eris’s own lips twitching. She shook her head and finally looked back at the piano.

“I appreciate the offer,” she started with a glance at him. “But I think we need to do other things first.”

Eris braced himself, tensing slightly. “Eager, are we?” he said tightly and Iris rolled her eyes then smiled sweetly.

“To get answers? Yes, very.”

Eris pursed his lips. He supposed this would be his chance to tell her. He…he had many things to tell her but…did he trust her enough? She was his wife and his mate but that didn’t mean those things couldn’t be twisted to be used against him. It didn’t stop her from ruining him if she wanted to.

“You said you would tell me what’s been going on.” she said slowly and he realized her gaze had drifted to his clenched fists. He immediately relaxed his hands.

He certainly needed to work on his trust issues but Iris…she trusted people as little as he did. He grimaced. Hiding what they were to each other wouldn’t help. He turned from her, his gaze flickering around their room. He didn’t know what to think anymore. He supposed the consequences of having a wife he actually liked were now catching up to him. 

He couldn’t just ignore her. 

Taking a deep breath, Eris ran a hand through his hair and then focused his gaze on her. 

“What do you want to know first?” he finally said.

Iris pursed her lips and fell silent for a moment. This could be her chance to ask him anything. Everything. She knew something had shifted during their visit. He had said whatever he was feeling, she hadn’t done anything wrong but…something between them had changed in his mind.

She certainly enjoyed the kissing. And the touching. Very much. And the more they kissed, the more Iris felt this sense of urgency from him. Eris had always been intense but the way he seemed to want to…claim her took on a different emotion. They were married after all, and if there was anything about their marriage she was expecting, it wasn’t that Eris would be patient about the intimacy part of it. 

The idea of taking things further didn’t really scare her. She wanted to explore more with him, especially when she wasn’t experienced in intimacy the way he was. But more…also required more vulnerability from her. More from him as well. He was used to having sex that meant nothing but between them…she’d like to think it would mean something great. And greatness needed to be worked up to. Iris wasn’t sure if he’d shut down if she went with a question about feelings.

So she started with a different subject.

“Elain’s vision.” she started and noted the way his fist clenched. “It meant something to you. To them. I saw the way you reacted.”

Iris watched him and noticed the way the muscles in his jaw flexed.

“Yes.” he said carefully. “Elain…has had similar ones for some time now.”

“But this one seemed…more significant?” Iris asked just as carefully and she watched him work his jaw again before he answered.

“Yes.”

Iris paused at his tone, her mouth going to a thin line. “Is it that bad? That you’re only giving me one-word answers?”

Eris sighed, the sound was more tired than she’d ever heard from him and she furrowed her brows.

“Iris.” he began and gave her a brittle smile. “You should know by now, that almost anything that has to do with me is bad.”

Iris refused to take the bait on the statement and instead, held out a hand. He glanced down at her open palm and slowly slid his hand into hers, his eyes locked on their fingers interlacing.

“Eris.” she said calmly and he met her eyes. “I know this is hard for you.”

He raised a brow.

“I thought I saw it before but…” she started and shook her head. “Seeing you outside of this place. Away from it all. Then having to come back…I understand how hard this is for you.”

Eris swallowed and glanced down at his hand in hers. “Do you?” he asked so quietly, it was barely above a whisper. 

“I’m trying to.” she said. “But I need you to talk to me about it.”

Eris let out a humorless chuckle and glanced at his wife. “Talking…is very hard for me.” he said. 

“I know.”

He glanced away again. “I don’t trust myself to say the right things.”

Iris shrugged. “I think it’s okay if you try.” she said then nudged him gently with a small smile. “Or did you talk yourself out with Lucien earlier? You reached your talking limits for the day?”

The corner of his lip lifted. “I am a male of few words.”

Iris’s lips twitched. “That is a lie and you know it. You love hearing the sound of your own voice.”

Eris chuckled and met her gaze once more before sighing. “Do you understand how…heavily guarded my secrets are?” he said quietly. “I risk too much by sharing.”

But Iris didn’t reply. She only squeezed his hand and waited. Waiting for him to speak, to say what he needed to say.

Eris’s heart beat wildly in her chest. What did he even start with? He needed to tell her so much. So many things. About his mother. About his brothers. About his father. About them. 

So he started slowly. “Things are never what they seem in this court,” he said. “We are seen as cutthroat. A court of many faces. People who live in their forest of nightmares, with sinister smiles and bloodthirsty goals.”

Iris couldn’t help but shrug her shoulders at that statement. “To an extent, that’s true.”

“As you said, to an extent.” he agreed. “But we’ve also been living under the rule of a tyrant for so long that there is fear in the desire to be different. Very deep-rooted fear. Because my father…” Eris paused here and ran his tongue across his teeth before he continued, his voice low. “My father loves his throne. Loves his power. He loves what he can benefit from his people but the people themselves…he does not care for.”

“That much is clear by the way he treats his family.” she said quietly and Eris nodded.

“His grip is so tight, he doesn’t realize how long he’s been suffocating everyone.” he resumed. “But he doesn’t care. Power is power and a High Lord holds all the power.” Eris looked away from her. “I’ve told you before that there are pieces at play. That much has always been true but things have…they’ve gotten more desperate in the past few years.”

“That’s why you have so many more people loyal to you than your father? Even…your brothers?” she asked and Eris nodded tightly.

“The tides started to turn years ago and people want out.” he said. “Elain’s vision…Everyone wants out of this misery. Where fear is high, money is tight, and trade is even tighter.”

“Doesn’t he see how this is going to backfire?” Iris asked with a frown. “Why would he jeopardize his place like this?”

“Because who is going to challenge him? Me?” Eris asked with a snort. “I can’t do anything until my mother is away from him. Until she’s ready to leave and —”

He fell silent again and Iris watched as Eris only shook his head. She had thought she knew how sensitive of a subject his mother and her circumstances were to him but until this moment, Iris hadn’t realized the depth of this sensitivity. Just how much of a sore spot this was to him. Whatever secrets he shared with his mother, Eris still wasn’t ready to share them, even if he wanted to. They weren’t hers to know just yet. 

Eris pulled his hand from hers and Iris watched him as he swallowed again and grimaced.

“If it’s too much you can —”

“Iris.” he cut her off and met her gaze firmly. “Today…do you feel different?”

She blinked at the shift in subject. “In…what way?”

“About us.” he said, feeling the tips of his ears heat. “Do you feel different?”

It fell silent between them and every single nerve in Eris’s body was on high alert as he watched her process what he said. He hoped the answer was yes. He needed it to be yes. He needed her to have felt the whirlwind of emotions he had been suffering with since she had kissed him. 

He watched her cheeks color slightly. “I think things between us have always been intense,” she said slowly. “But I think…things have been changing between us for a while.”

Eris nodded, his heart shuddering in his chest. “Mm.” he said. “And today?”

Iris watched him carefully. “Are you asking me if kissing you has made me more attached to you?” she said and gave him a wry smile.  “Because you’re my husband, Eris. I’m already stuck with you.”

Stuck. The word slammed into him with the full force of a boulder. 

Of course.

She was stuck with him. And he hadn’t even brought up the bond.

Here he was, ready to unburden himself to her. He was ready to let his mate know everything. 

Stuck.

His expression must’ve betrayed his thoughts because Iris’s face fell as her flush deepened. “That’s not how I meant it —”

“It’s fine –”

“Your question made me nervous. I tried to joke —”

He held up a hand. “You’re not wrong. You are stuck with me.”

She bit her lip, her frustration evident on her face. “You’re stuck with me too.” she mumbled. “We — we are stuck with each other.”

Eris gave her a thin smile. “I don’t quite think I’m as ready for this conversation as I thought I was, wife.” he said. “This day has been long enough.”

“That’s not fair, Eris.” she said. “You asked me a question and it made me nervous.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” he said dryly and Iris scowled. 

“I understand you’re embarrassed with all this — these feelings talk,” she stated. “But so am I! You can’t just dismiss what I’m trying to say because of it.”

He shook his head. “No worries,” he said again in that dry tone. “What’s in a kiss? It’s been long overdue between us regardless.”

He aimed to stand but Iris’s hand shot out and held him where he was. He glanced at her hand on his arm then back at her eyes to find them blazing.

“Stop.” she snapped. “You don’t get to start pulling away or undermining what’s between us when you get uncomfortable. We’re supposed to be working past that.”

Eris snorted. “Trust me when I tell you I have been trying my hardest.”

Her lips went into a thin line and she squeezed his arm gently. “I know.” she said. “I know that better than anyone.” She watched him for a moment then swallowed. “Today was a hard day for me too. You saw things no one else has. Trust me…I understand but you have to meet me in the middle.” Iris paused for a moment then let out an exhausted sigh, her shoulders dropping. “This is hard for me too.”

Regret slammed into him and nearly swallowed him whole at her confession. Eris nearly choked on it, feeling like absolute shit. Of course, she wouldn’t be feeling the bond the way he had. Of course. Despite their enjoyable visit, he knew she was still overwhelmed. She told him she was overwhelmed. It had been a vulnerable day for her too. 

He had never been good with emotions and today was testing him.

Sighing, Eris scowled, his gaze down at her hand still on his. He didn’t know if he truly had it in him to tell her more. To announce what they were without claiming her. But he would give her room to process. He had always been willing to be patient with her.

They were stuck together. But…he didn’t want it to feel that way. He wanted her to want him. He needed her to want him. 

Like he wanted her. He wanted her…happy about it.

Eris slowly sat back down, his grip tightening on hers. “You’re right.” he said. “Today has been a lot.”

“Yes.”

He ran his tongue over his teeth and said through gritted teeth. “I’m…sorry.”

“Good. You should be.”

He scowled again. “Well then, I take it back.”

Iris rolled her eyes and let go of his hand to swat it instead. “Well, you can’t. You already said it and you were being unreasonable.”

His scowl deepened. “I don’t like talking about these things, much less apologizing for anything.”

“I’ve noticed.” she said with a snort. “Don’t worry, I’ll break that bad habit.”

It was Eris’s turn to roll his eyes. “Confident, are you?”

Iris merely shrugged and let it fall silent, watching him. Eris tried not to bristle beneath her gaze, waiting.

“To answer your earlier question,” she began quietly and glanced down, pursing her lips. “Things do feel different.”

Eris swallowed. “Okay.”

She lifted her gaze to meet his, color staining her cheeks. “And I don’t know what that means other than I like where this is going.” she continued. “And I am…cautiously optimistic about where we can go from here.”

Eris watched her and felt his heartbeat pick up. Cautiously optimistic was good. It was better than stuck. It means she would be okay with more. 

How much more though? Would she be open to it now?

This would be the perfect time to tell her. But no, not with words. He fucked those up. 

Actions then. He could kiss her until it snapped into place for her as well. He could do a little more. But no — Eris shook his head and flushed slightly at her curious look. Iris deserved words. She deserved the conversation and for him not to distract her with touches and kisses. Communication was key between them. Even if talking about his feelings made him want to vomit.

He didn’t know why or how he had been given a mate but he sure as fuck would try to be somewhat worthy of it. For his Iris, he would use all his words, even if he fucked it up. He would try. 

“Iris…” he began but Iris held up a hand.

“A question for a question.” 

Eris blinked and despite the nerves plaguing him, the corner of his mouth curled up. “A question for a question.”

“You asked me if something about today felt different to me. But something changed for you.” she started and licked her lips. “ What…what happened?”

Eris swallowed and watched her as she watched him. This was it, right? He would have to stop being an absolute imbecile about this and tell her. He could tell her about all the other things she was curious about later but tonight — just for tonight — he wanted to forget about everyone else. Forget everything that sat on his shoulders and just be with his wife.

So he forced himself to be honest. “I’m terrified to tell you.”

Iris froze then let out a breath. “Why?”

Eris forced himself to look away from her, his eyes on the ceiling. “Because…you are something I had not anticipated. Because you never wanted this. You never wanted me.” he said quietly. “And I am…overwhelmed by this thing between us.”

She blinked at his statement and he finally turned back to glance at her and the sight of his hollow expression nearly broke her heart, even as it thumped widely at his confession.

“Eris…” she reached forward and clasped his hand. “What —”

But a knock on the door of their bedchamber startled them, like a cannon firing off into the silence that surrounded them. 

“Are you expecting anyone?” Iris asked.

“No.” he said, his expression flattened. “But let’s find out who has a death wish, shall we?”

[r558944]

ゲンセ GENSE Old Farmer Classic オールド ファーマー クラシック ステーキナイフ＆フォークペアセット 4本セット ステンレス製・専用木製BOX付属 704897 デザイナー：Bent Severin ベント・セベリン カトラリー 食器 【RCP】【smtb-KD】

価格：￥10800

店舗名：アトラクト

[lucienarcheron]

Spirit Meets the Bones - XI

Genre: Angst/Romance  Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Please be mindful: some implied language may be found triggering.

shoutout to my darling @abruisedmuse for being on this journey with me! ily4ever <3

Tagging: @climb-the-mountian | @vanserrass | @positivewitch | @readthelastpaage | @zenkindoflove | @animezinglife | @clockwork-ashes | @stormycleric | @eastofatlanta | @carolynmezzosoprano | @carnythian | @runningwiththeoceans | @readychilledwine | @goldenmagnolias | @thedarkinmansfield | @mali22 | @maidr-00 | @electromagnetic-waves | @theeternalstruggle | @devilsfoodcake22 | @the-midnightwriter | @moonfawnx | @weesablackbeak | @ladywhilemia | @illyrianshadowhunter | @alohaangels | @moobell55 | @bibliophiliaxvignette | @easchies | @feysandfeels | @thelovelymadone | @corcracrow | @aboggoblin

Find it all here.

Eris stood with his hands clasped behind his back, unbothered as Beron glared at him, per usual. His thumb tapped on the back of his hand as he stood, reigning in his anger that always flared at the sight of his father.

“What is this I hear about the breach in security on the southern border between us and that piece of shit Tamlin?”

Eris tilted his head. “Oh? I thought that was the territory you requested your sentries to oversee, Father? Did something happen?”

“You tell me.” Beron snarled. “Aren’t you the one who is supposed to be responsible for ensuring things like this don’t occur?”

“Yes. I am the one responsible for all security measures of our court.” Eris said and gave his father a small smile. “But again Father, you recently requested a particular group of sentries to oversee that specific area and for me to remove myself from it...I believe it houses a private resident for you? For your...dalliances?”

The High Lord scowled at his son, but Eris only blinked. “Watch that tone, boy. That’s none of your business.”

“Then I’m afraid whatever security breach happened is also none of my business, Father.”

A tense moment of silence passed, and Eris braced himself as his father narrowed his eyes at him.

Over the years under his father’s thumb, Eris had found that while his father was a tyrant, he had gotten lazy. He thought so little of Eris’s manipulative capabilities that he was more than happy to have him do the grunt work. But Eris had eyes and ears everywhere and this had cost the High Lord his absolute control. He had handed it to Eris slowly over the years, without realizing how much it would eventually cost him.

But Eris always treaded this line carefully, always letting Beron forget about it. Always made it seem as though he was a puppet for his father. Eris was a good son; he always did what he was told...but with a slight tweak, a tweak Beron would be too lazy to care about.

Beron’s mouth twisted into a frown. “I am your high lord. You will do as I say.”

Eris bowed his head graciously. “Of course. I would be happy to assist you with this issue, Father. Would you like me to handle the situation?”

Beron’s glare intensified. “Why else did I bother calling you here? Fix it.”

“But of course, Father.” Eris said then ran his tongue over his teeth before continuing with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Though I would like to discuss something with you in return, if you’d be so kind?”

Beron rolled his eyes. “You and that mouth of yours. Spit it out.”

Eris loosened the slight damper on his anger and rolled his neck back, then met his father’s gaze. “The other night at dinner, I did not appreciate how I was spoken to or how my wife was spoken to,” he said slowly and Beron raised a brow. “I am humbly requesting you never speak to her in that manner again. She is not any concern of yours. At all.”

Beron scoffed. “Is that why you’ve been missing for two days? You’re upset with me?”

“It was disrespectful.” Eris said calmly and though fire was pulsating through his body, he continued to tap his thumb against his hand, desperately trying to smother it. He could only show a little at a time. Too much too soon would not go well for him.

“She didn’t like your punishment for her loose tongue, then?” the High Lord said, and a muscle flexed in Eris’s jaw.

“What happens between my wife and I doesn’t concern you, Father.” he said, his fists tightening behind him but he kept his face as neutral as possible. One day he wouldn’t have to. One day he could just rip his father’s head clean off his body. One day.

Beron smirked slowly, watching Eris, and Eris knew exactly what his father would say before he opened his mouth. “Is that so?” he sneered. “Are you afraid she’ll leave you for another Vanserra too?”

He let the comment slide off him, wondering when his father would stop using it as an insult. It didn’t sting anymore. In fact, Eris was bored of it being brought up at all.

“No. Iris gets all that she needs from me and more,” he said and smiled again, allowing the fire flickering in his veins to be found in his gaze. “I’m sure you realize history will not be repeating itself in this situation. So, I am asking again, leave my wife out of your plays. She is not yours to concern yourself with and I will not tolerate you making her uncomfortable again.”

Beron’s smile was a cruel one, laced with amusement. “Oh? And what will you do, son? If I decide I like making her uncomfortable?”

Eris paused here, pursing his lips, his heart thundering in his chest. He would pay for this in some form or another later... but it would be worth it. To not have Iris look at him like she had the other night.

“Well, Father...I will decide to make you uncomfortable.” Eris replied and smiled a dry smile. “You’ll find that I have been a very good son to you. Your son that hardly gives you any trouble, unlike those other idiots no one ever sees. I am your right hand. Your first-born. I will keep this court running as smoothly as possible for you as I truly do enjoy doing what you ask of me.” He paused here, watching his father as the High Lord assessed him. “But you will find that I can be very unhelpful if my wife continues to be spoken to and about in that way again.”

“You’d shirk your duties, boy?”

“You mean your duties, Father?”

And Eris knew it clicked then, in his father’s small brain, exactly how much deep shit Eris would put him in should he decide to be a menace.

“Your mother’s son through and through, hm?” Beron said quietly and Eris raised his brows.

“I am your son too, father. I was raised by your hand.”

Eris almost wanted to laugh at his own statement. Because quite literally so, Beron had not held back to beat his whole family into submission. Especially his firstborn, whom he allowed zero mistakes.

And yet.

The High Lord stared down at his son with slight loathing and Eris waited.

“Don’t make me beat some sense into you, boy.”

Eris shrugged and Beron’s eyes narrowed. It was a long moment before the High Lord finally scoffed.

“I hope her pussy is worth it.”

“Again,” Eris said, a muscle flexing in his jaw, his fists clenching behind his back. “You will not speak of my wife this way. I will decide how she behaves. I will decide what she will or won’t do. I will decide anything that concerns her. She is off-limits to everyone else. At all times.”

Beron quirked a brow. “Is that so?”

Eris gave him a tight smile. “I don’t like people playing with my things, Father. You taught me that.” he said. “I hope I have made myself clear enough for you.”

A tense silence filled the room and Eris wondered exactly what Beron would do. What his father was thinking. He had crossed a line here and showed his hand. Eris only hoped Beron thought he knew his son well enough that his declaration was one of possessiveness rather than anything else.

“What about your mother, Eris?” Beron said softly and Eris willed himself not to flinch, not to show any reaction. “It would be a shame if one day you shirked your duties and I...had to have a long conversation with your mother about it.”

Eris’s fist tightened behind his back and slowly, silently, he took a breath.

“I would think that would be unnecessary, father.”

Beron tilted his head and smiled. “That’ll depend on you, I suppose,” he said airily. “If not your mother, maybe your hounds? You seem to have a strange attachment to them. Surely you don’t need all twelve.”

“You know how valuable those hounds are to our security system.”

“Ah, yes. Our security system.” Beron said, interlacing his hands in his lap, and watched Eris with a smirk. “Even so...It would be very interesting to see what you hold in high regard, no?”

A muscle flexed in his jaw once more. “Meaning?”

“I will hold my tongue about your little wife, sure.” the High Lord with a shrug. “In fact, I won’t talk about her at all.”

“Then we have an understanding.” Eris said tightly.

“Oh yes,” Beron said calmly. “We definitely have an understanding.”

Eris nodded and stood for a moment before whirling around to leave. Except his father cleared his throat and Eris immediately froze.

Slowly, Eris turned back to face his father with a pleasant expression. “Yes, Father?”

“While we have an understanding, I do want to make one thing clear, son,” Beron spoke and Eris braced himself. “Should you step one toe out of line and think to speak to me that way again, I will find myself truly testing where your loyalties lie.”

“My loyalties lie with you, High Lord.” Eris said automatically and Beron scoffed.

“We shall see.” the High Lord sneered. “It would be a shame if I had to test that theory. A shame if I had to find out what you valued more...your mother, your hounds...or your pretty wife’s cunt.”

“Father.” Eris snarled but the High Lord only laughed humorlessly.

“You said your piece and I said mine, boy.” Beron snapped. “Now, get out of my sight and go fix that border issue.”

Eris’s mouth twisted in distaste, and it took him a moment — a good minute of trying to calm his thoughts so he didn’t snap the old man’s neck. So he didn’t do anything stupid.

Instead, he smiled tightly and bowed his head, despite his father’s look that always promised violence. He was too used to it, and Eris would take every bruise given to him if it got his father away from the two women in his life. He’d said his piece. He’d drawn a line and he would bear all the consequences for it. He had to.

It was not lost on him when his thoughts mirrored that of his wife...what was another bruise?

--

Iris stared at the bouquet of flowers on the table and blinked. She reached out a hand and hesitantly touched a petal then swallowed.

She had spent the time since her mother-in-law’s visit mindlessly tidying their room and thinking. Thinking and overthinking. Getting angry. Then sad. Then downright anxious.

Lady Enya’s visit had shifted her thought process and it made her realize how narrow her view had been about this whole thing. Thinking about talking to Eris still made her want to vomit but she tried to work through it.

Until she had heard him return and did the only rational thing she could — hide in the bathroom. She only stepped out after he left and that’s when her eyes fell on the bouquet sitting here now.

She had been simmering in anger this whole time. So angry.

At her father. At Beron. At all the stupid powerful males in positions that were able to hurt people and make them feel so small. Which is exactly what Beron had done. He made her feel small. He made Eris feel small.

She swallowed, thinking of the look Beron had shot Lady Enya before they left. He had been making her feel small for years.

But Eris…

“I am not him. I actively try my hardest not to be like him in any way.”

He could’ve been. He could. But he hadn’t.

“I will do everything I can to protect you from him and take the brunt of that as well and I am sorry that it has to be that way and I am sorry that you will likely have to hear more things from him that you won’t like, but I am playing his game so that I can keep worming my way around until I can finish him.”

And she had called him a coward. She had made him feel small too.

She had lashed out this morning knowing what she said would’ve been worse than gutting him. Words were often the best of weapons and Iris had been at the end of those weapons long enough to know how to throw it back.

But what would it cost her with Eris?

“You both are coming from the same place. Trust yourself and your judgment. But also...give him the chance to prove himself to you.”

She swallowed again as his mother’s words rang in her ear and Iris bit her lip, guilt eating away at her, as it had been for hours, the pit in her stomach growing. He hadn’t deserved her throwing words like that at him and had regretted it the moment they slipped out of her mouth. Not that he had held back either because clearly, he knew how to hurt.

But...he brought her flowers.

Iris frowned at the beautiful bouquet now. Was it an apology? Would he —

As if summoned by her thoughts, Iris turned at the sound of their suite door opening and Eris stood in the doorway, a tray in his hands.

He paused at the door, his eyes scanning her from head to toe. She noted how he cataloged the choice of dress that hugged her figure, the loose waves of her hair falling down her back. He met her eyes and without saying a word, stepped into the room, closed the door, and made his way to stop in front of her.

“Wife.”

“Husband.” she said dryly, and the corner of his wicked mouth ticked up.

Eris placed the tray on the table and nodded his head toward the chairs. “Would you like to eat?”

She watched him warily. “I didn’t realize you were part of the kitchen staff.”

“For you, wife? But of course.”

They stared at each other in loaded silence for a few minutes before Eris casually waved a hand for her to sit.

Begrudgingly, and because she was hungry, Iris walked to the nearest chair and plopped down. Eris’s lips twitched as he took the seat opposite her and the two stared at each other again, the tension palpable.

So much for trust. One step forward and two steps back.

“So.” Eris began, and Iris blinked before removing the cloth covering the tray of food and grabbing a piece of bread.

“So.” she said, grabbing a knife and looking at him.

“Did you like the flowers?” he asked calmly, and both turned to look at the bouquet.

Iris fidgeted and slowly put the knife and piece of bread down, her nervousness flaring. She frowned at the sound of her thundering heart. Or was it the sound of his?

“I wasn’t sure what your favorite flowers were, so I went with a seemingly obvious choice.” he added, and Iris met his gaze.

“I like carnations. And peonies.” she replied slowly. “But this bouquet is beautiful regardless.”

A heartbeat passed then, “You fucken hate irises, don’t you?” he asked with a snort and Iris bit back a reluctant smile, the tension easing a fraction.

“I really do.” she said and huffed a humorless laugh. “Blame that on my father too. Whenever he beat me too hard, he'd leave a bouquet of crushed irises at my door. Symbolism.”

Eris tensed for just a moment then forced himself to relax. “He keeps getting better and better every time you mention him.” he said tightly, then leaned forward and picked up the knife and bread Iris had put down.

She watched him again, as he had done the first morning, methodically buttering it for her and passing it over. Iris accepted it carefully, watching him fill her a glass of juice and again, pass it over to her.

When he sat back, his own piece of bread in hand and buttering it silently, Iris frowned again.

“Are we going to talk about the other night?” she asked quietly as her heart galloped in her chest.

Eris paused. “I was hoping you’d eat something first so we don’t lash out again. Like we did this morning.”

Iris’s frown deepened and she sat back in her chair, taking a bite of her bread. He watched her chew, his brow raised as he waited.

She swallowed and knew his eyes had tracked the movement of her licking her lips. “Well.” she began. “How did you think that went?”

“Terrible. You?”

“Horrible. I’ve been insulted before but never quite like that.” she muttered angrily, and Eris leaned forward, the bread dropping from his hand.

“So was I.” he said curtly. “My father aside, you took something I shared with you and threw it back in my face. You blamed me for things I had no control over. You called me a coward when I have spent my whole life trying to fight against what I was forced into. I warned you about my father. It shouldn’t have been a surprise.”

Iris flushed, scowling. “I was attacked. Your father attacked me and you let him.” she replied. “You warned me but that doesn’t mean I have to accept that this will be my reality. How am I supposed to feel safe if I have to be on the defense all the time?”

“And how am I supposed to trust you if the first personal thing I tell you, you use against me in an argument?” he said with a flattened expression. “I did not let him attack you. He didn’t wait for my permission. In case you haven’t noticed, my father loves to shit on me constantly.”

“And you just put up with it?”

“I know how to play his game.” he replied, and Iris shook her head.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Iris watched him frown, his brows furrowed in the frustration written all over his face. She had the strong urge to push her fingers to it.

“You want to feel safe and want trust. You cannot ask this of me and not give it in return.” he finally said. “There are times to respond and times to let him think he won so you can do what needs to be done anyway. That is how he needs to be handled. That is the best I can do with him. The best any of us can do at this time.”

They watched each other silently for a moment.

“If you are willing and you find yourself wanting to, be honest with him. He will meet you in the middle if you are willing to meet him.”

Iris took a small breath. “I... have had the same dream about you for the past two nights.” she whispered, and Eris straightened. “It’s not a pleasant one. It was about what you said to your father. What you’d do to me.”

Eris’s face heated and he shifted in his seat. “It was just a dream.” he said quietly, and Iris’s fingers tightened in the fabric of her dress.

“The panic that woke me up was real each time.”

His mouth twisted as he thought this over then met her gaze. “I said this before, and I understand I will have to keep saying it until you believe it, but I have no intention of hurting you. I will not lay a finger on you.” he said firmly. “I only said that so my father didn’t order me to do anything to you in front of him. It’s the one boundary he wouldn’t cross.”

Iris’s expression furrowed into a frown and a moment of silence passed before she quietly asked, “But he’d watch you beat your wife?”

Eris’s expression tightened for a moment then he mumbled, “He has made me watch while he hurt my mother. It would delight him to watch me do the same to you.”

“And you could do nothing?”

Eris scowled. “I do not appreciate the accusation in that question.” he snapped. “You assume I wasn’t also incapacitated.”

She flushed then mumbled curtly, “I’m not accusing, I’m asking.”

Eris watched her warily, scanning her face. It took him a moment before he finally sighed and rolled his shoulders back.

“Look...I am — my private quarters have always been my safe space.” he said quietly. “Aside from out with the hounds, it is the only place I can just...be. No expectations from anyone. I can’t fight with you in it. I — I don’t have it in me. If you really insist on not wanting to have a functioning relationship, I can arrange for you to have your own space and we don’t need to see each other at all.”

Iris blinked rapidly at the unexpectedness of his answer. “And what? Go our separate ways?”

“You know that can’t happen with your father or mine in the picture.” he said with a humorless chuckle. “You are bound to me as I am bound to you.” And Iris watched him scowl at the words, color blooming in his cheeks. “Or at least for a few years until people are busy obsessing over something else. We could just...orbit around each other. Pretend until then.”

Iris’s eyes dropped to the table, feeling her body suddenly heat up. Pretend? He would —

She took a sharp breath and then very quietly said, “You...would do that?”

“I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me. If you don’t want to try, I will not be the one to force you,” he said, and Iris lifted her eyes in time to find him running a hand through his hair. He met her gaze once then looked down, his expression hardening, a muscle flexing in his jaw. “I am not my father. I will not shackle you to me. You would only need to endure for a while until I can make it work.”

It took her a moment to finally speak, her shaking hands bunching in her dress.

“No one’s ever given you a chance, have they?” she said softly and watched as Eris tensed. “Your father has ruined almost everything for you.”

She watched his hands as they fisted then flexed and it took him a moment before replying.

“It’s a lot easier to let people see what they want to see. I am very good at pretending,” he replied, his eyes on the table. “Being a monster makes it easier.”

“Does it?”

He shrugged. “It’s all I have to work with for the time being.”

Her mouth went into a thin line, and she thought over what he said as he watched her. Trust wasn’t so easily earned but...he was drawing a line, making himself clear.

“I...did not react well the other night.” She said quietly. “Or this morning.”

“Neither did I,” Eris said with a shrug. “I think we can agree not to hold it against each other.”

She sighed and tilted her head back to gaze at the ceiling of their room. “I know you told me we have to behave in a certain way. But your tone...your tone. The sneer in it.” Iris said quietly, color bloomed on her cheeks, and she frowned. “I’ve heard that sneer my whole life. You tell me to expect different things from you then...then you spoke in that tone.”

Iris lowered her head to meet his gaze. “It makes me feel like everything you said and shared was a lie. It makes me feel foolish to believe you. You want me to wear a mask but...I can’t wear one where you’re belittling me in front of others. Even if it’s to have your father leave us alone.”

Eris’s eyes were on his fingers drumming gently on the table. “I...have had to wear this persona for a very very long time,” he said slowly and looked up at Iris. “You will need to give me some room...to work through these things.”

He swallowed then added tightly, “You are the first...opportunity I have ever been given to be different with a female. To openly be better. There wasn’t a relationship I had as important as this one with you.” He frowned. “No one that is supposed to be a...permanent partner. This is different for me too. I need patience from you.”

Iris’s eyes widened at that, and she looked away from him. Her heart was definitely the one thundering at his words so at odds with what his father had said to her.

You’re not important.

She looked up at him and found him watching her carefully. Her eyes darted to the slight color in his cheeks and then to his hands now folded on his crossed legs. He was speaking so calmly but Iris could taste his nervousness. It matched her own.

He had never been bluffing in his declarations.

“Then you want this to work, right?” She asked softly and licked her lips. “You want this to be real?”

“Do you?”

Iris blinked. Did she?

Her gaze dropped to her hands and she considered his question. No part of her going into this marriage had thought about whether it would work or not.

It was a fact. She was to be married to him. She would be his wife. Whatever happened after that, happened. Anything that came from her father would surely be nothing pleasant and she kept expecting the worst. But...Eris clearly didn’t think that way. He wanted it to be different. He had told her so from the beginning. And she had to be one of few people in his life who had ever heard such words from him.

He could be a nightmare for her. But he had endured so much from his father already. From this life. And he didn’t want to be. She had heard him say it.

I’m not trying to. Don’t you see that?

Her mind went back to the conversation with her mother-in-law.

“You two get to decide how real you want it to be.”

He could be more than just her husband. He could be her friend. But...he could also be more. And she had always wanted more. She wanted love. She wanted a...partner. She wanted a life with someone who would see her and care enough for her to protect her. Help her protect herself.

Swallowing, she looked up at him and the color on her cheeks deepened. “Yes. I do.”

And she watched his shoulder sag, just a fraction.

“Then we’re on the same page.”

Iris looked down at her hands for a heartbeat then met his gaze again. “You’re a very good liar,” she whispered. “It scares me to trust you.”

Eris was quiet for a long moment then very, very softly said, “It terrifies the fuck out of me to have you in my life. I don’t know how to...have whatever this is.”

“I don’t want to be a problem. I just want...to have something normal.” she said with a sigh, her eyes darting to him and then back to her hands.

“I don’t think normal will apply in this household,” he said with a soft snort. “But...I think we can figure out what will be normal for us.”

Silence fell between them again and Iris took a breath. A normal for them. A normal she...would be a part of. Iris licked her lips and then quietly said, “I’m sorry for the things I said in anger. It wasn’t fair to you. I was very upset and did not appreciate what was said to me or insinuated about me.”

Eris’s brow flickered up, a look of slight surprise on his face. “You apologize so easily.” he mused.

“Acknowledging when you’re wrong is the first step to getting through an issue.”

Eris pursed his lips and then slowly nodded. “And I am sorry for what I said and how things had to be. It wasn’t fair to you either. My father knew exactly what to say to push my buttons and I walked right into it.”

Iris nodded in return, her frown deepening, and asked carefully, “Why does he do that? What does he get out of it when you do so much for him? Doesn’t he...care for you?”

Eris chuckled dryly. “My father cares for no one but himself,” he said. “He likes to make people feel small when he feels threatened by them. He hasn’t earned anyone’s respect in years, so he keeps things under control by fear. And punishment.”

Iris blinked then said slowly, “At some point...people will not be scared anymore.”

“Yes,” Eris answered carefully. “Fear eventually grows tiresome. But my father has a very hard time accepting that change is coming, whether he likes it or not.”

“You’ve talked about change and pieces at play but never elaborate.”

Eris observed her. “We will need to work on our trust issues more before I can give you additional information.”

Iris nodded slowly. “That seems fair.” she mumbled, and Eris’s lips curved up and he pushed the breakfast tray towards her. Iris bit her lip and then sat up. “I have one more thing to say about this subject.”

“Just one?” Eris said with a chuckle and Iris shot him a look, picking up her bread once more.

“Your father was outrageous. It’s hard to pick one thing.” she said, her nose scrunched up in disdain. “I don’t know how you’ve tolerated him all these years.”

“Pretending I’m frolicking in a field of daisies whenever he opens his mouth usually gets me through.”

Iris snorted and rolled her eyes, earning her a smirk from him. “Frolicking with a pretty flower crown, are you?”

“Oh, definitely,” he replied with a serious nod. “If Elain has taught me one thing, it’s that you must wear a flower crown while frolicking or you’re simply not doing it right.”

A chuckle slipped from her lips and Iris for once, shyly met his eyes. When the corner of his mouth ticked up, she looked back down at her hands. She sighed and then looked back at him, her expression more solemn.

“He had no right to speak to me that way. He had no right to speak to you that way either.”

“I agree.”

“What I want to say is, I do not want to be spoken to like that ever again.” Iris said firmly. “I will pretend I’m your simpering little wife all you want but I will not tolerate the threats and language like that. Not in this home as well.”

“Neither will I. Which is why it won’t happen again.” Eris said and Iris stilled at his tone.

“What does that mean?”

He adjusted the cuff of his sleeve and then slowly looked at his wife. “I don’t like people overstepping their boundaries with me. He can take it out on me all he wants but you’re my wife. I will not let it happen again. You should still watch your tone with him the same way I do but my father has been made aware that I will not take him speaking to you that way again lightly.”

Iris blinked then flushed lightly, pleasantly surprised. “So...we play his game?” she asked quietly and he gave her a tight nod.

“We play his game,” he confirmed. “Outside of this room, we play by his expectations. It is a lie, a façade. Inside this room, whenever we are alone, and outside of the court...we can be as we wish. Just you and me. As long as this is what you want.”

Iris bit the inside of her cheek, watching him carefully. It wasn’t different from anything he had told her before but...she was truly listening now. She could play games. She had tried to play her father’s games, even when it cost her. Now she would have a partner.

Just you and me.

“You’re willing to be my friend first, then?” she asked quietly.

“Friendship was the first thing I offered you.” he replied simply.

And it hit Iris then — how incredibly similar they were. A fact Eris seemed to have figured out early on.

He was someone who needed a person just as badly as she did.

So she finally said, “Then this is what I want.”

The corner of Eris’s mouth ticked up. “That’s helpful. I won’t have to waste time redecorating.”

She rolled her eyes and then quietly observed him as he finally picked a helping of food. Standing up to his father was a bold move and Eris was careful about all the moves he made. To do it because of her...

She waited until he had a few bites of food then carefully asked, “How did your father take it when you spoke to him about me?”

Eris paused for a moment then slowly replied, “We’ll see in a few days.”

Iris bit her lip, her brows furrowed, knowing what he meant. It would either pass or...Eris would pay for it.

Her face fell as guilt washed over her and Eris straightened.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.” she immediately said and he furrowed his brows.

“We already stated our apologies.”

She shook her head. “If he decides he doesn’t like what you said because of me —” she started and pushed the tray away, feeling slightly nauseated. “I don’t want him to — if he decides to —”

But Eris held up a hand. “You don’t have to worry about that. I can handle my father. His choices are his own and he is the only one responsible for them.”

Iris bit her lip, glancing at him and then down at her lap. Her mouth wouldn’t cost just her now. Eris would be dragged into it by his father if she stepped out of line. He had thought about what his father would do to her if Eris didn’t behave accordingly but Iris hadn’t even considered what Beron would do to Eris because of her.

“I’ll watch myself better now.” she promised quietly. “I don’t want to give him any other reasons to hurt you.”

Eris stared at her, his expression unreadable but she saw the bob of his throat as he swallowed then nodded.

“I see we’ve reached an understanding then.” he said quietly and Iris nodded in return.

“We’ve reached an understanding.”

A sense of relief washed over the room, any tension between them easing. Iris stole a chance at him to find him watching her, his lips slightly pursed.

“What?”

He shook his head and then cleared his throat. “Now that we’re on the same page, I won’t have to hear your whining.”

Iris squinted at him but her expression softened when she saw the teasing look he gave her.

“You’re annoying.”

“You’re mean.”

“I haven’t slit your throat yet so how mean am I, really?” she said and gave him a pointed look.

Eris smirked and Iris knew whatever came out of his mouth next would be obnoxious.

“You must really have a thing for my neck, you constantly want to get your hands on it.”

“To choke the life out of you.”

“Don’t tease me, I’ll start moaning.”

Very slowly and without breaking eye contact, Iris flipped him off, earning her a soft chuckle.

“We’ll see what good that attitude of yours will do you once we start training.” he said, giving her an amused look.

“And when will we do that?” she asked, sitting up straighter.

“As soon as you’d like, wife.” he said with a lazy smirk. “I look forward to seeing what you’re made of.”

Iris sat back and met his gaze with a challenging look of her own. “And I look forward to giving you the ass-kicking you deserve, husband.”

[lucienarcheron]

EEEEE im so glad you’re continuing it! I haven’t had time to read it yet but I’ve gone through the smtb tag on here and I can tell a lot of love and thought and inspiration has been put into it so I’m so excited to read it! But I’m glad you put your mental health first! I can’t wait to read and see what comes next!!!

You are so so so sweet! Thank you for your super kind message!

Becca is probably the only person who knows how deeply I've struggled with it lol. And I get it, it's just fanfic right? It's supposed to be fun and whatnot but any fanfic writer will tell you how, when a story latches onto your brain, you want to finish it and finish it well.

This story is so very special to me and I'm dying for y'all to read the newer chapters and see how the story goes. So thank you for your excitement! It only serves to motivate me!! I hope you enjoy it once it starts coming out again! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[lucienarcheron]

Hi hi hi! When you start posting smtb again, will you be uploading it on AO3 too? I prefer reading on there to tumblr so was just wondering🥰 I'm SO excited for it btw, it's my favourite Eris fic!!!<3<3

hello darling!!! ♥️

absolutely! whenever I post here, I'll be posting there as well as updating with the new (minor) edits to the old ones.

thank you for your kind words! I appreciate you so 🥹♥️

[lucienarcheron]

hi gigi! i hope that this question isn’t overwhelming but i love love love smtb and i think that you’re a great writer i would like to improve my writing/take writing more seriously and i’ve attempted to write fics in the past but i just don’t know where to take a simple idea so i never finish anything…. do you have any advice in planning a fic or writing in general? (e.g. how do i ensure that the dialogue is something the character im writing about would actually say?)

hello darling! first off, thanks so much for loving SMTB and my writing! It means so much and I'm so flattered you're asking me! Here are some of my thoughts :)

I think my biggest piece of advice for getting better at writing is to literally just keep writing. You only get better through practice. Editing my old stuff and looking at it now has been so interesting because I see how I would do it differently now vs then. I wouldn't know that if I hadn't let myself just write. Write whatever it is, even if you think it sucks. Just do it. You can always go back and edit it but you won't have anything to edit if you don't actually write it. Even if it's been done before. Even if you think someone does it better than you. Write it because no one could write it like you can.

I would describe my approach to writing as a "loose" planner lol. I usually have a beginning, a big event, and the ending then figure out everything that I want to happen in between as I go along. I've found that this helps me have something to follow while also allowing room for the characters/story to give me ideas. You can always start with these kinds of questions: what is the point of this piece? Why am I putting this character in this situation? What is the outcome I want? What is the tone that I'm trying to convey?

If it's easier, start with short prompts and drabbles to get you in the groove of your writing style before you move on to bigger one-shots or multi-chapters. If you feel like follow-through is something you struggle with, focus on shorter pieces so you can build up to stories you can follow through on.

As for dialogue and feeling like the way you write the character is true to how they would sound in canon, I always recommend rereading the scenes they're in. You can ask yourself, what do I know about this character? Based on what they've been through and how their dynamic is with others in the book, would they say this? Remember that fanfiction is also meant to be fun so you can strive away from canon. I personally always try to write characters the way I think they would actually be in canon and prefer to read fanfics that do the same but again, with how creative fanfiction allows people to be, you can find literally a n y t h i n g. It's pretty cool to see how people can interpret characters differently (unless it's something weird then I don't like it lmao). But don't stress yourself out too much about that. The important thing is a) write b) have fun and c) don't be so hard on yourself. Putting pressure on yourself makes it less fun lol.

I hope this helps somewhat! 😅♥️